Reimagine: Neighboring by Mark Shoemaker
W
hen thinking about building relationships with the people who lived in our apartment community, the thing that was an advantage for me was considering neighboring in the international missions context first. I wanted to be sent to a different field. “God, use me internationally. I want to be sent around the world so I can have a great impact.” But somewhere along the line, I realized that I wouldn’t say I have ever had a very great impact where I am right now. There’s no magic in being sent farther. Here I am asking to go and have a profound impact where there is great cultural and language distance, sometimes racial barriers, a different history; a much more complex ministry context somewhere else. I wanted to be used without ever doing it. So, when my wife, Emi, and I got married we began to consider how we could use our home as home base for ministry. If we want to get good at being sent far away, we need to get good at being sent close—serving people who live near us, who shop in the same places, who cheer for the same sports teams and eat at the same restaurants. We wanted it to be authentic, not something we exceled at when we left our house, but stunk at when we were home. We wanted our lives to provide an aroma of hope in our neighborhood, something countercultural enough to stand out and create life-giving conversations. Apartment living has been our experience of home and I must say it is very motivating to live in harmony with your neighbors when you literally share a roof. We are going to be shaped by these relationships one way or another, so Emi and I are very intentional about how we begin our interactions from the moment we move in. Everyone is wondering whether we are the kind of neighbors who want to be left alone. Do they need to be suspicious of us? Are we for them or going to make their lives difficult? When we moved in we wanted to send the message right away that we want to be interested in their lives. This is where Emi shines. She is typically the bridge builder. She doesn’t see new relationships by the boundaries that are there, but only as opportunities for new friendships. She is anxious to get started with new experiences and build our new story together. There is no right way to do it, no wrong way, you just have to meet them. In our experience it has sometimes been the most awkward attempts that have been the most memorable. Emi took every opportunity to ask one of our new neighbors about shamrock shakes and his favorite McDonald’s burgers until she realized he worked at MacDonald Contractors, not the restaurant. And they still laugh about those clunky first attempts at friendship. 8 March/April 2022
