31 Days in Proverbs

31 days in proverbs Life is filled with decisions, so how do we learn to make wise choices?

From childhood, we hear pithy bits of advice: “A bird in the hand is worth _________.” “Neither a borrower nor a ___________ be.” “The early bird gets the __________.” Sometimes these make sense, and other times we want more help!

We all notice people who make choices leading to contentment, integrity, and joy. They seem to have accumulated wisdom — but from where? This summer we look to a source of wisdom from the One who made the universe and life itself.

These are the proverbs of Solomon, David’s son, the king of Israel. Their purpose is to teach wisdom and discipline, to help explain the insights of the wise. They offer instruction on how to live disciplined and successful lives, to help do what is right, just, and fair. These proverbs will give insight to the simple and knowledge and discernment to the young.

Just do one proverb a day, and chew on it rather than rushing on. These were selected by our staff and elders as insights that are changing their lives and could do the same for you. Each proverb offers a thought and two questions. Often one of the questions will ask you to reexamine the proverb to see if there are other truths in the depths. The other question will always try to connect it to real life — the purpose of the book — “to bring God’s truth from the Sanctuary to the streets.” By the way, it’s a LOT more likely to sink in if you share it with someone else. Enjoy!

- John Crosby, Senior Pastor

day 1 - John Crosby

Proverbs 1:1-6

1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: 2 for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; 3 for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair; 4 for giving prudence to those who are simple knowledge and discretion to the young— 5 let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance— 6 for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.

Question 1

Who are all the potential audiences that Proverbs is designed for that you can read in this passage?

Question 2

The proverb ends by talking about “the riddles of the wise.” What part of your life feels like a mystery, where you could use good advice to live better?

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day 2 - Lee Hanssen

Proverbs 2:1-5 What are the things you “treasure” more than God? (Hint: These are things you will spend time, resources, and energy acquiring. Sometimes they even come in the form of good things like children, spouses, etc.)

1 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— 3 indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Question 1 How does it make you feel to know that any material thing in this world that we treasure will fade away?

Question 2

This week, when you find yourself gravitating toward whatever your heart treasures more than Christ, take a moment to pray and ask the Lord to change the desires of your heart.

Proverbs 2:6-9 Make a proactive move this week to let go of something to which you look for security.

day 3 - Lee Hanssen

6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7 He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, 8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path.

Question 1

What makes you feel secure and safe in this world?

Question 2

What response do you have knowing that the Lord promises wisdom, treasure, and protection as we cling to Him in faithfulness and grow in integrity?

day 4 - John Crosby

Proverbs 2:12-20 More than 25 times, the writer talks about life as a path toward good or evil, life or death, with choices on the way, with good or bad guides. Sounds like quite a journey!

Question 1

The author warns against those who shade truth, turning us from hard truth and being seduced into doing the easy thing rather than the right one. What’s an example of that temptation on your path?

12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, 13 who have left the straight paths to walk in dark ways, 14 who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, 15 whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.

16 Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words, 17 who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. 18 Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.

19 None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.

20 Thus you will walk in the ways of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous.

Question 2

The author says that there are voices that offer advice, both good and bad, which affect the paths we take. Who do you know who consistently offers good advice, and how often do you listen to them?

day 5 - Rich Phenow

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Question 1

It is often so difficult to let go of thinking we are in control of our lives, the lives of others, or our circumstances. Fear often fuels our desire for control. What are you most afraid of?

Question 2

Having the perspective of seeing God’s handiwork all around us and acknowledging Him is all about submitting, i.e. turning every area of your life over to Him. What area do you keep holding on to and why? In Matthew 6:33, Jesus said, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”

day 6 - Becky Danielson

Proverbs 4:1-3 Guiding your own children or other young people in your life is an awesome task. How one lives speaks louder than actual words. It could be your grandchild, the neighbor kid, or the barista who watches, listens, and learns through you.

1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.

2 I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.

3 For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother.

Question 1

In what ways are you setting a good example for younger people following in your footsteps? Make a list and continue to add to it this month.

Question 2

John wrote, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (1 John 3:4). Who is a young person you can come alongside and speak the truth of the Gospel into his or her life? How will you do this?

Proverbs 4:23

day 7 - John Crosby

23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Jesus once said, “out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). The heart is our core, both physically and spiritually, and despite its 2.5 billion beats over the course of a lifetime, we don’t notice it at all . . . until something happens!

Question 1

The heart has natural enemies (plaque, fat, lack of exercise, bad blood, etc.). What is the greatest danger to your spiritual heart these days? What are some of your warnings signs?

Question 2

When you think of “guarding your heart,” what practices come to mind that just have not worked? What would be a sign for you of a healthier heart?

day 8 - John Crosby

Proverbs 5:3-5 Purity in a sex-soaked culture is one of the major themes of Proverbs, as challenging today as in the time of Solomon.

Several chapters are devoted to resisting temptation because the consequences are so devastating. Wisdom is not prudery but rather a warning against separating sex from commitment.

3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4 but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.

5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.

Question 1 Why do you think the author uses a woman as the character for seduction in his society? What is the lesson here for either gender?

Question 2

Wisdom is about knowing yourself. Where are you most tempted by the pull of sexuality in our society (i.e. media, clothing, comparing yourself to others, flirtation, guilt from the past, desire for acceptance/love, etc.)?

Proverbs 6:6-8 The term translated “sluggard” occurs 14 times in Proverbs and nowhere else in the Old Testament. The sluggard exemplifies folly, particularly in matters of food production.

In Aesop’s fable about the ant and the cricket, the ant laid up food for the winter while the cricket wasted away his time.

The result: The cricket was hungry in the winter.

day 9 - Pamela Strommen

6 Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!

7 It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, 8 yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.

Question 1

About today’s activities, Jesus says, “Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you . . . put your trust in the light” (John 12:35-36). Regarding the future, He declares, “Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven” (Matthew 6:20). How can you prepare to purposefully use the blessings of this life? What folly keeps you from having an eye on eternity?

Question 2

When a burden is too heavy for a single ant, other ants help carry it. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). List the ways you have loved God and loved others this past year. Sometimes it is easier to be the helper than it is to be helped; in what ways can you invite somebody to lighten your burden?

day 10 - James Madsen

Proverbs 6:16-19 Common sense would tell us it is wise to love the things that God loves and hate the things that God finds detestable. Are we passionate about the same things as God?

16 There are six things the Lord hates,

seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes,

a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

Question 1

Reflect on these seven sins that God finds detestable. Where do you see them at work in the world you live in?

What consequences do you see to these actions?

Question 2

Are there any of these you find yourself falling into? Bring them before God who is faithful to forgive us, and ask Him by His grace to lead us to walk in truth.

Proverbs 8:12-14 Wisdom and prudence are intimately connected. Prudence is not a word we often use these days. When is the last time you heard it in the media? Was it during the George H.W. Bush presidency? That was when this word became the fodder of comedians.

Politics aside, prudence is a good word. To be prudent is to make decisions and choices with the future in mind.

day 11 - Andrea Tshihamba

12 I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I possess knowledge and discretion.

13 To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

14 Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have insight, I have power.

Question 1

It is natural to plan with our future in mind. We have pensions, retirement accounts, and investments, but what about our spiritual future? What about our spiritual growth? Which do you think of more often: your physical future or your spiritual future?

Question 2

What would be a few ways that you could dedicate yourself to prudence in your spiritual life? How can you bring one of these into daily practice?

day 12 - John Crosby

Proverbs 9:1-18 “Dinner for two” summarizes the battle throughout Proverbs — a choice between two women. The first is Good Wisdom, calling out from the top of the city; her house is built with columns, and she has prepared a feast. The contrast is Lady Folly, sitting in the doorway, offering stolen water and food that leads to the grave. Whose invitation will you accept TODAY?

1 Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars.

2 She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table.

3 She has sent out her servants, and she calls from the highest point of the city, 4 “Let all who are simple come to my house!”

To those who have no sense she says, 5 “Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed.

6 Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of insight.”

7 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.

8 Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.

9 Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.

11 For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.

12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

13 Folly is an unruly woman; she is simple and knows nothing.

14 She sits at the door of her house, on a seat at the highest point of the city, 15 calling out to those who pass by, who go straight on their way, 16 “Let all who are simple come to my house!”

To those who have no sense she says, 17 “Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!”

18 But little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.

Question 1

The women’s position atop the city shows their prominence: the first in the role of religion, the second in the diversions of the city’s attractions. Whether it’s the financial district, sporting, education, or all the stores, where are you most likely to be tempted away?

Question 2

The appeals of the two women show the conflicting values between them. Where is it a strain for you to live in both the honoring-God sphere and the real world?

10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Proverbs 10:8-9 Counselor Henry Cloud once divided all people into the wise, the foolish, and the wicked, and described how to treat each: “Teach the wise and they grow, warn the fool but don’t hold your breath, and flee the wicked as soon as you can.”

day 13 - John Crosby

8 The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.

9 Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.

Question 1

Proverbs describes three types of people: the wise, the wicked, and the foolish. Write down the first example of each that comes to your mind, and one character trait next to it.

Question 2

Study the differences between the wise, wicked, and foolish in these two proverbs. What is one attribute of each, and with which one do you struggle most?

day 14 - James Madsen

Proverbs 10:13

13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense.

This proverb reminds us of the general principle that our poor choices bring trouble upon us while our good choices lead to smoother paths in our life. This is reminiscent of the story of the prodigal son who found that wild living leads to living in the muck with the pigs (Luke 15:11-32).

Question 1 How have you seen this proverb lived out in your own life?

Question 2

This reminds me of the Apostle Paul’s comments that the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ (Romans 6:23-24). Paul goes on to say that the righteousness of Christ is credited as being our very own (Romans 3:22, 4:5)! What encouragement do you find in the truth that Christ’s righteousness is given to us through belief in Him? How does this lead us to the abundant life He has promised?

day 15 - Laura Crosby

Proverbs 11:2

2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

The kind of pride that stems from self-righteousness is sin, and God hates it because it is a hindrance to seeking Him. Psalm 10:4 explains that the proud are so consumed with themselves that their thoughts are far from God: “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.”

Question 1 Why do you think there are the two particular contrasts in this verse?

Question 2

What is an area of your life where you have a larger view of yourself and a smaller view of God than is wise? In what area of your life do you neglect to seek God?

day 16 - Meg Boehne

Proverbs 11:25

25 A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

All God’s plants need watering. You and I do. God gives us the power to water others. How? A word may do it, a look may do it, an action may do it; to offer sympathy, to give needed help, to impart what you may be favored with on others — through these actions you water others.

Question 1

Giving your time and talent to others sets into motion a sense of satisfaction, so don’t fearfully hoard what you have. Give and watch all of the creative ways that you will prosper. What keeps you from being more generous in supporting God’s work? Selfishness? Fear? Insecurity?

Question 2

Losing a loved one, financial burdens, or relationship issues are stressful and can cause us to languish and wither. Can you think of a time when a kind friend “watered” you through a difficult period in your life? How did it make THEM feel? How did it make YOU feel? Can you think of a time when you helped someone through a challenging period and you benefitted more from the interaction than they did?

day 17 - Deb Kielsmeier

Proverbs 12:17-18

17 An honest witness tells the truth, but a false witness tells lies.

18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

As a child, you may have yelled out, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” Unfortunately, this is not true.

Proverbs declares that reckless words have tremendous power to bring damage and death, but wise words can bring healing and life.

Question 1

It is easy to blurt out a reckless “cutting remark” when we are frustrated or angry or tired. What kind of damage does this do to the hearer? What might you do to bring healing into a situation where your words have hurt another?

Question 2

Today, how will you use your words to bring healing and life into the life of another person?

day 18 - Dan Anderson

Proverbs 13:20

20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 27:17

17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

There are friends we like to play with and friends we like to be with. The friends we like to be with are often the ones who stimulate personal growth.

Question 1

Make a quick list of your most immediate “friends.”

Question 2

Which of these friends is likely to “sharpen” you or stimulate personal growth? Can you schedule time to be with that friend this week?

Proverbs 15:1

day 19 - Gayle DeHaan

1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

When my boys were young, we memorized this verse together. I would quote it to them when they started fighting with each other, but it was a two-edged sword: They would quote it to me when I would start getting angry with them! No matter our age, our words and tone of voice make a difference in our relationships.

Question 1

There’s an old adage, “It’s easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar.” How can gentle answers attract others to listen to what we say, especially in emotionally charged situations?

Question 2

It can be difficult exercising the self-control necessary to stifle our impulse to use harsh words. Think back to the last time you got angry. What might help you calm down enough to use gentle words next time? A deep breath? Counting to ten? How about memorizing this short verse?

day 20 - Brooke Toftoy

Proverbs 16:1-3

1 To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

Question 1

“Follow your heart” is common advice given to a person making a decision. The author of this passage seems to add wisdom to this old adage. What are some ways that a person can plan but also allow the Lord to guide their decision-making?

Question 2

What are some practical ways that a person can make sure they are allowing God to weigh their motives and are committing plans to the Lord?

day 21 - Debbie Ducar

Proverbs 17:22

22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

The image of a cheerful heart appears several times in Proverbs, which emphasizes the importance of reaching out to the brokenhearted.

Question 1 What are some human experiences that can make us feel crushed? How do we give people hope in such circumstances?

Question 2

How can we bring good medicine to one whose spirit is crushed? Ponder specific examples that fit your personality.

Who do you know who needs his or her spirits lifted today?

day 22 - Jennifer Boardman

Proverbs 18:7-8

7 The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives.

8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.

In his book The Three Musketeers, Alexandre Dumas asserts, “There is no friendship that cares about an overheard secret.”

As Christians, “friends” are those we are called to love: everyone!

Question 1

As the saying goes, “You are what you eat.” But the writer of Proverbs goes further: You are what you say . . . and what you hear.

Why might gossip be more harmful to the gossiper than the subject of the rumors? Is listening to rumors harmless?

Question 2

As good food nourishes your body and bad food is a sign of unhealthy living, so are words to your soul. What is one “healthy” choice you can make when you crave gossip (in both sharing and listening)?

day 23 - Dan Anderson

Proverbs 18:13

13 To answer before listening — that is folly and shame.

Proverbs 16:24

24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

When someone begins to tell his/her “problem,” sometimes we answer with a “solution” before fully hearing the whole story. To listen carefully and respond graciously encourages healing.

Question 1

Describe a time when you felt listened to. How did you know the person was really listening?

Question 2

During this coming week, give the gift of attentive listening to someone without solving their “problem.” How is the interaction different?

day 24 - Steve Mader

Proverbs 19:21

21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

We are planners. We make small plans like meeting a friend for coffee. We make big plans such as changing careers. We plan on purpose. We plan with purpose. We plan in order to achieve our dreams, goals, and hopes.

Question 1

Philippians 2:13 promises, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good PURPOSE.” Given that we are free to make our own plans, what are some of the ways that God works with us to achieve His purposes through our plans?

Does that add significance to little plans? Does that inspire you to make big plans?

Question 2

Romans 8:28 promises, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his PURPOSE.” Think about a time when your plans did not work out. Were you disappointed or angry? Does this promise in the proverb frustrate you or bring you comfort? Consider these verses today as you make your plans.

Proverbs 20:22

day 25 - Sarah Norton

22 Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!”

Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.

Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “That old law about an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.” As Matthew wrote in his gospel, chapter 5:38-39, we must turn away from evil and not avenge “an eye for eye, and a tooth for a tooth.” God will take care of justice. It may not be when we want it. It may not be how we want it; however, He will make sure that justice is done.

Question 1

Why should we wait for the Lord instead of taking matters into our own hands?

Question 2

If you have something in your life you wish to seek revenge for, what is one step you can take to give it back to the Lord?

(Suggestions: giving it back to the Lord in prayer, asking for forgiveness, or writing a letter of apology.)

day 26 - Matt Faulkner

Proverbs 21:9

9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Who says that God doesn’t have a sense of humor?! Seriously, in his book Strengthening Your Marriage, Wayne Mack says, “It often happens that when couples get their relationship to God straightened out, their relationships with one another begin to straighten out as well.”

Question 1

What do you think Wayne Mack meant by the above comment? Why would your relationship with God matter to your relationship with your spouse?

Question 2

How is your relationship with your spouse, really? Are you too busy with life to put God at the center? What’s one thing that you can commit to, now, to strengthen your relationship with your spouse?

day 27 - Heather Hood

Proverbs 22:6

6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Whether you are a parent, grandparent, godparent, relative, neighbor, teacher, mentor, tutor, or friend, what you say and do impacts the young lives around you far beyond their childhood years.

Question 1

How are you demonstrating in word and in action to the children (and adults) around you what you value most, especially as it relates to your relationship with God?

Question 2

“What goes into a mind comes out in a life.” What opportunities or encouragements can you give to the children in your life that will fill their minds with the things of God? Perhaps you could try one of these: reading the Bible together, serving at a local mission, praying at meal times, attending worship together, sponsoring a World Vision child, or helping your child set aside money for a Kingdom project.

day 28 - John Crosby

Proverbs 24:6

6 Surely you need guidance to wage war, and victory is won through many advisers.

“Wise men don’t need advice, and fools won’t take it,” said Ben Franklin, who got it half right. While some wise people aren’t great listeners, those who want to keep growing discipline themselves to learn from all the voices in their lives. Ken Blanchard said, “When leaders stop learning from others, they stop growing as leaders.”

Question 1

Why do you think the author uses the imagery of wartime guidance, and why is there a call for many advisers rather than one really wise source?

Question 2

Who do you consistently seek out for advice? Would others say that you’re open to criticism and learning or closed off?

Proverbs 24:11-12 It doesn’t take a Solomon-esque mind to measure the state of our world. We live in a place where tragedies are rampant and heartbreak seems to be constantly imminent. Nightly in our news, we take note of the pains of the world and can feel the overwhelming burdens they bring. Despite our hopes and dreams of a better place, we often feel helpless and powerless in the face of such problems.

day 29 - Matt Moberg

11 Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.

12 If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?

Does not he who guards your life know it?

Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?

And yet the Bible tells us in this passage to be the rescuers. We, the beloved community of Jesus Christ, are called to be the ones who interfere and shut down the injustices of our world. On our watch, we are to rescue those being led away to their deaths.

Question 1

In the world around you (your neighborhood, city, state, and global community), where do you see injustice winning and leading people to their death? What emotions do you feel as you think about these things?

Question 2

As you continue to think through the different areas of our world where both hope and lives are being lost, pray that God will make one stand out to you. As you are praying, take note of the issue that you are feeling most drawn toward. Next, spend time asking God what you should do about it.

Be a rescuer. Move from prayer to production. Your movements can be big, small, and everything in between. Rescuers, though, cannot be still. The world is waiting for people of hope to be deliverers of hope. Let God use you to be just that.

day 30 - Mike Hotz

Proverbs 24:23-25 We all have experienced situations where we know something that a colleague, friend, child, or even stranger had done or said is wrong — maybe not “wicked,” but definitely wrong. Yet we either don’t speak up, look the other way, or go so far as to affirm them.

23 These also are sayings of the wise: To show partiality in judging is not good: 24 Whoever says to the guilty, “You are innocent,” will be cursed by peoples and denounced by nations.

25 But it will go well with those who convict the guilty, and rich blessing will come on them.

Question 1

Read the passage again. Is there a difference between judging and punishing? Is there an expectation that the one who judges also would punish?

Question 2

Jesus came full of truth and grace. He judged and spoke truth in a grace-filled way that changed people. Is there someone you need to speak truth to in a way that will change them?

Proverbs 27:5-10 Proverbs teaches that wisdom begins by placing God at the center of everything. In this passage, we consider the idea that true friends take second place.

Question 1

Each verse provides insight into an aspect of friendship.

How would you restate them using contemporary language?

Question 2

day 31 - Paul Tshihamba

5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

7 One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.

8 Like a bird that flees its nest is anyone who flees from home.

9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.

10 Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family, and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you — better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.

When we speak of “my friend,” in what sense do we try to possess one another? How does an assumption that they are “mine” shape our relationships?