February 2006

Ministry Ouest

10 HORSE SENSE by Keith Harder

Spanky, Buddy, Sonny, Sammy and Bandit are five fourlegged friends who are teaching their owner a lot about building healthy relationships with horses and people.

TAKE YOUR MARRIAGE SOMEPLACE NEW by Ron Vogt

It is tempting to play it safe in our marriage relationship. But a healthy marriage offers adventure, desire, imagination, challenge and play as well as comfort, predictability, security, kindness and understanding Are we willing to go someplace new?

TOUGH WORDS FOR TLC by Paul Friesen

What gives substance and strength to our love for one another? Is it TLC-tender loving care? Or is there something more than these "soft" words?

WHEN TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE by Roy E. Bronkema

Why are friendships essential? How can I nurture the friendships that are important to me?

> FiRSTWORDS

[from the editor!

The catchphrase, '1\nd now you know the rest of the story," a saying made famous by radio personality Paul Harvey, comes to mind as I think about the wedding meditation excerpted in this issue of the Leader. The story surrounding the meditation strengthens for me the author's message and is the rest of the sennon.

Mennonite Brethren missionary Paul Friesen authored ''Tough words on TLC." When he submitred the sennonette, as he called it, Friesen said it was at the encouragement of his family. Friesen had given this meditation at three wedding ceremonies-the marriage of two sons and his oldest granddaughter-and the third time Friesen was urged to pursue publishing the meditation.

Curious about a wedding meditation so thought provoking that it was a three -peat request, I read it promptly when it arrived in a Dec. I email. I am acquainted with Friesen, his wife Maurine and their children and could sense even in these few words the love that I know binds this family together. Friesen's thoughts about marriage are simple but strong and are enhanced by the way in which he and Maurine have lived them out.

Friesen's insights on the marriage relationship are one of his final gifts to us. Friesen was killed in an automobile accident several days after he submitted this meditation. May we be encouraged by his appeal that our relationships be characterized by total and loyal commitment.

Blogging is a new and popular fonn of communication among young adults. Leader staff have been looking for an opportunity to highlight blogging in the magazine. Thanks to a reprint from the MB Herald, our sister Canadian publication, this month you can read about Mennonite Brethren pastor Dwayne Hanns who used a blog to talk candidly about his battle with cancer (see story page 26). As a follow-up, we would like to publish an article about the experiences of other MB bloggers. If you are a blogger or know a MB who blogs and would like to help us with the research for this article, please contact us at editor@usmb.org.

The 2005 Leader index is now available in electronic fonn. There is no good explanation for why the index was not published in either the December 2005 or January 2006 issue- I just forgot. The 2005 index has now been posted on the U.S. Conference Web site (www.usmb.org) and we encourage readers who make use of the annual index to print a copy. And I have made myself a big note tv include the 2006 index in our December issue.

A handful of readers did not receive a copy of MBMS Intemational's Witness in their January Leader due to the inserts being damaged in shipment. If you would like a copy of the January Witness, please contact the Leader at editor@usmb.org.

> UP & COMING

• Feb. 23-24 - U.S. Conference Leadership Board meeting, Phoenix, Ariz

• Feb. 25 - U.c. Conference Leadership Summit, Phoenix, Ariz

• March 9-15 - Mennonite World Conference General Council, Peace Council and Faith and Life Council business sessions with "mini-assembly," Pasadena, Calif.

• July 26-28 - U.S. Conference national pastors' conference, Boone, NC

• July 28-30 - U.S . Conference biennial convention, Boone, NC

Connie Faber EDITOR

Myra Holmes ASSISTANT EDITOR

Elaine Ewert GRAPHIC DESIGNER

MANDATE The Christia n Leader (lSSN 0009- 5149) is publi shed monthly by the U S Conference of Mennonite Brethren Churches The Christian Leader seeks to inform Mennonite Brethren members and churches of the events, activities, deci sions and issues of their denomination , and to instruct, inspire and initiate dialogue so members will aspire to be faithful disciples of Christ as understood in the evangelicaVAnabaptist theolog ical tradition

EDITORIAL POLICY The views expressed in thi s publi cation do not necessarily repre sent the position of th e Christian L eader the U.S. Conference Leader ship Board or the Mennonite Brethren Church Scripture references are from New International Version unless otherwise noted The editors invite freelance article submissions. A SASE must accompany articles

READER PARTICIPATION The editors invite readers to share their thoughts and opinions on topics relevant to the Mennonite Brethren Church using letters to the editor and Forum essays Leiters to the editor should be brief- JOO words or less-and on one subject Letters must be signed and inc:tude the writer's city and stale Leiters will be edited for clarity appropriateness and length Letters will be published as space allows, unless marked - Not for publication - Forum is open to members or attendees of Mennonite Brethren churches. Essays should not exceed 800 words, and should include the writer's name, address, home church and occupation

COMMUNICATION All correspondence. including change of address, should be addressed to the Christian Leader Box 220, Hillsboro, KS 67063 Phone : 620-947-5543 Fax : 620-947-3266 E-mail : christianleaderfilusmb org

SUBSCRIPTIONS $18 for one year $34 for two years and $50 for three years ($20 $38, $54 in Canada!; $1 50 per copy

MEMBERSHIP The Christian Leader is a member of the Evangelical Press Association and Meetinghouse, an association of Mennonite and Brethren in Christ editors

POSTMASTER Send address changes to the Christian Leader, Box 220 Hillsboro KS 67063 Periodicals postage paid at Hillsboro, Kansas.

By Michael Dick

Congo partnership recommended

One church's mission project shows they care

Itraveled to Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo, with six other people from Bakerview Church in Abbotsford

We were sent as part of our church's 40th anniversary celebrations to partner with Congolese MB churches in a renovation project on the campus of the Christian University of Kinshasa (UCKIN).

Recent issues of the Leader (November 2005) and the MB Herald (Sept. 23, 2005) have highlighted needs in the DR Congo and raised the question of what Mennonite Brethren can do if we care. Bakerview's mission project demonstrates in a small way that we do care.

Mission is a core value here at Bakerview and we have been active in mission in the Congo during most of our 40 years of church history. Murray and Faith Nickel are current MBMS International missionaries serving in medical work and leadership development in Kinshasa, Congo.

Prior to returning to Kinshasa in August of 2004 Murray shared with me his vision for facility upgrades at UCKIN. As you talk with Murray it is readily apparent that he recognizes the significance of training future leaders for the church and the country at large. Education is essential in the training of leaders and training institutions need facilities.

In addition to the academic disciplines of theology, economics and medicine at the university level, UCKIN has an educational program for preschool through grade 12 In total approximately 1,500 students attend. The university is jointly operated by six denominations.

Murray, in faith, asked if we as a church could commit to funding the renovations of a number of campus buildings. A number of the buildings had been constructed by his father, Jake, in the late 1960s and early 1970S and were in need of maintenance. After research, reflection and prayer our congregation agreed to commit $120,000 for renovations on the UCKIN campus.

In addition, we agreed to send three teams of people to encourage and work alongside the Congolese workers in the renovation process over the course of the next year. This mission project became the major focus of our 40th anniversary celebrations. We began fund-raising in March 2005 and by the conclusion of our anniversary services Oct. 8-9 we had surpassed the goal and had sufficient travel funds for the first team to go.

The first project was the renovation of the grade school building - a row of eight elementary school classrooms. The project included removing the existing roof and raising the walls a meter so that the classrooms would have more headroom and better ventilation . The cement grid windows were to

be knocked out and replaced with glass and new doors were also to be installed. Electricity would be brought to the building so the classrooms could have fans and lights. New cement floors would also be poured

The first team was on-site Oct . 13-30. The team, which included Murray and Faith Nickel, were pleased to represent Bakerview and work alongside the Congolese tradesmen Our team learned patience as we communicated through interpreters, waited for materials and adjusted to working in temperatures that reached the mid -30'S centigrade with high humidity The Congolese learned new skills as they worked with the power tools we had brought- and left for them to continue using.

During the two weeks we were on-site we completed the demolition, made the bricks and raised the walls, built 25 trusses and had six in place and worked on the electrical rough-in. The Congolese tradesmen and laborers are in the process of completing the renovations.

On our breaks we toured the city and two medical clinics, and on Sundays we visited area churches. We communicated our vision of joining with the Congolese Mennonite Brethren in the refurbishment of their university facilities-help that in my opinion they desperately need.

As a team we were impressed by the determination and vision of church and university leaders to improve their situation but recognized the scarce resources they have available. Teachers and pastors often serve with little or no remuneration and supplement their income through tent-making Their resourcefulness and commitment to serving the Lord is truly an inspiration They are to be commended for maintaining the educational and church programs and planting new churches.

In addition to renovating the grade school building the funds we have raised will be used to repair, upgrade and repaint numerous other buildings on -site. Our second team is preparing to go March 14-27 and a third team will go in July 2006.

I would encourage other churches and individuals to follow Bakerview' s lead and partner with our Congolese brothers and sisters by funding capital projects.

Michael Dick is lead pastor at Bakerview MB Church in Abbotsford, BC.

What's your mission score?

How your church can develop a strategic mission goal

Irecently spoke at a weekend mission conference for a Mennonite

Brethren church that has more than doubled in the past five years The congregation has caught the vision for outreach and now meets in multiple services including a satellite location. I was amazed to hear that this was their first global-focused weekend in many years. Mission had been defined as local; mission as global was new.

next three years in each of the commitment categories. Seeking the Lord and entering into strategic planning together has huge potential to move your church from where you are today to achieving the three year faith goals. I occasionally hear people question the value of being connected to a denomination like the Mennonite

[J Seeking the Lord and entering into pbnning together h41" huge potential to move your church from where you arc today to achieving the three year faith goals.

I asked the leadership team how they had developed such a successful satellite worship service location. They described God's guidance, the call to risk and some clear strategic planning. They talked to God about the vision and then began tapping a few folks on the shoulder. About 20 families agreed to form the core group of this new worship location, one of the pastoral team members agreed to serve as the satellite site pastor and a worship team was mobilized. Not much had been left to 'let's wait and see what happens" in this new ministry. They prayed and planned for success.

Why is global mission any different?

The lead pastor mentioned he'd had lunch with a local Pentecostal pastor whose congregation was half their size but whose annual mission giving was five times as much. The lead pastor indicated they could all give a lot more to global mission, especially projects they were involved in as a congregation.

We talked about discipling the congregation in global mission principles and practice through short-term mission assignments. Instead of just hoping people would consider a short-term mission assignment and supporting any idea that came up, why not plan for 25 people a year from the congregation to serve and learn in a cross-cultural setting connected to a long-term church planting team their church supports, and then start tapping shoulders beginning with key leaders.

That's strategic.

I mentioned that MBMS International facilitates cross-cultural experiences for up to 1,000 people each year. Our Regional Mobilizers are focused on connecting MB congregations to global mission.

A congregation of their size could mobilize two to three families to form a holistic church planting team that serves with MBMSI in a location where few have ever heard the gospel. This team could include individuals with skills in evangelism, business, teaching and hospitality. Several churches in a region could together mobilize a team There are locations in Thailand, North India and North Africa waiting for teams like this.

We'd like to develop a mission score card for your congregation that measures your present mission commitment in terms of people involved in shortterm and long-term assignments, financial and prayer investments.

Then we'd like to discern with you God-inspired faith goals for the

Brethren. We are a family on a mission While it's challenging for a single congregation to plant churches crossculturally among the least reached, when we work together we can accomplish a lot. That's strategic.

Over 2 billion people have never heard the gospel. Many of them live in places like North India, Central Asia, North Africa and the Middle East. Picture a hospital emergency room with limited resources and only one doctor. Two patients are rushed in for treatment, one with major injuries requiring surgery, another needing minor stitches. Who gets treated fitst? The triage approach focuses resources on the most critical need first.

Approximately 97 percent of North American church resources are focused on local programs while 3 percent is invested in the least reached - the 2 billion least reached. We can do more to reach those living in places like New Delhi, Bangkok, Algiers and Casablanca. Triage is strategic use of resources.

There are some amazing young leaders signing up with MBMSI for holistic church planting teams among the least reached. They are gifted and trained, love God and love the church. They will need our full support in every way as they launch out on lo-year strategies to transform communities with the power of the gospel.

It's strategic to send our best.

The Mennonite Brethren movement has been on a mission to reach and transform our communities here in North America and around the world for over 100 years . Mission is who we are. "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48). Let's continue to live on mission! - Randy Friesen is general director of MBMS International, the MB global mission agency of churches in Canada and the u.s.

Missionaries prepare for outreach following tragedy

Delay spares MBMSI workers' lives when roof collapses

The MBMS International missionary team living in Bad Reichenhall. Gennany, is grateful for God's protection and is praying for wisdom as they reach out to the many families affected by the recent tragedy in their community.

Concerned after heavy snowfall. officials in this small Bavarian resort town tested the weight of snow on the roof of their local community center and skating rink Jan 2 and pronounced the structure safe. Hours later, the roof collapsed on dozens of people, killing IS and injuring 30 others between piles of debris. News reports describe the collapsed steel and wooden structure as a "giant broken rib cage."

One of MBMSI's year-long TREK teams is serving in Bad Reichenhall alongside missionaries Dave and Alexandra Rempel in a church planting assignment. Each Monday evening the team visits the local community center for exercise. The Monday of the collapse, the Rempels had planned to take

FPU has two celebrations

Fresno Paci fi c University closed the 2005 year with two celebrations : the opening of a new education center Dec. 8 and a fall commencement Dec . 16.

F PU's North Fresno Center, located at River Park Place West off Friant Road welcomed about 75 guests during an open house of the 5.877-square-foot center. City. county and state leaders in education and government participated in the event

The center has the classrooms. offices and other facilities to offer programs leading to bachelor's and master's of arts degrees Since classes began Aug I more than 100 studenrs have begun completing bachelor's degrees in business management or organizationalleadership or pursuing a master's degree in leadership and organizational studies. Enrollment is underway for the early child development bachelor's program, to begin in the fall of 2006 All programs are geared to working adults

The fall graduation ceremony, held in the campus Special Events Center. recognized 170 students . Paul Vinion II. senior pastor at Fresno's Westside Church of God. addressed the graduates. In all, 40 students received master's degrees and 130 received bachelor's degrees One student earned an associate degree. A reception took place before commencement in Steinert C ampus CenterFPU

their girls swimming as well.

However, the Rempels changed their plans and the TREK team was delayed. When they finally arrived. they were told that the roof of the skating rink had collapsed, killing several people inside.

Bad Reichenhall is in Bavaria, on the Gennany-Austria border. With a population of less than 20,000 people, this tragedy has been quite a shock for the town, say the Rempels.

In an e-mail to MBMSI David Rempel writes. 'We thank God for his protection and have been praying for wisdom how to react as a church in the midst of all this. We had already planned to have a concert on January loth with a group coming from Bethel College in Kansas. It is fascinating that God prepared the choir to come. We pray that many would experience God in the midst of this."-MBMSI

Former missionary dies

Fast long-time MBMS I nternational miss ionary to India, died Nov. 29. 2005, at the age of 81 years in Dallas, Ore.• after a brief illness . Between 1951 and 1969 Fast and his wife Esther. who survives served in a variety of roles , based at the MB mission station in Deverakonda He worked in promoting village evangelism, mentored leaders. supervised construction pro jects and handled missionary administrative matters He served at a time of significant transitions in the mission work in India as national church structures were being developed.

From 1970 to 1980 the Fasts made their home in Dallas where he served in a pastoral role In 1980 MBMSI asked the Fasts to return to India They served two additional tenns. first based in Shamshabad, where Ted taught at the M B Bible Institute and in Bombay where they helped with a new outreach to Telegu speakers there .

"Ted loved to preach . People in India still talk about his ability with the Telegu language," writes Darren Duerksen. current MBMSI liaison to India serving in Delhi.

"For a period that spanned parts of five decades. Ted served faithfully in a variety of missionary roles in India, alongside the workers of the India MB churches . His death is one more milestone marking that generation of career missionaries " says H arold Ens fonner MBMSI general director - MBMSI

Hamm returns to BGEA

V:ktor Hamm, the MBMS International team leader for Global Programs, has returned to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association to continue his evangelistic ministry. Harnrn's tenure with MBMSI came during a time when the global mission agency was undergoing restructuring . MBMSI recruited Hamm to irs leadership team because of his wealth of international experience, focus on evangelism and administrative skills.

For the last nine months, together with the MBMSI Lead Team, Hamm worked on streamlining the agency's programs and developing an overall strategy for worldwide ministry. Ray Harms-Wiebe, director of Training and Team Health, will continue implementing the strategy and give supervision to Global Programs

MBMSI says irs Board of Directors and General Director Randy Friesen are "grateful to Viktor Hamm for his work and bless him as he enters this new chapter in his journey " - MBMSI In announcing Hamm's resignation,

Online resource to expand to include U.S.

The editorial committees of GAMEO, a new Internet international Anabaptist history initiative, held their first meeting Dec. 1-2, 2005 to start expanding a current online resource

GAMEO, or the Global Anabaptist Mennonite Encyclopedia Online, originated with the Canadian Mennonite Encyclopedia Online, begun by the Mennonite Historical Society of Canada in 1996. But that project broadened with the addition of the Mennonite Church USA Historical Committee and the binational MB Historical Commission as partners.

A U.S . editorial committee has been formed to work with a Canadian committee under the oversight of a management board Kevin EnnsRempel of Fresno Pacific University and Peggy Goertzen of Tabor College

are Mennonite Brethren members of the seven-member U.S editorial committee.

The committees will be responsible to put the entire five volumes of the current Mennonite Encyclopedia online, select writers to update existing articles and write new ones, then edit the submissions. The GAMEO Internet site currently has about 2,500 articles, mostly carried over from the Canadian Mennonite Encyclopedia Online, plus about 125 confessions of faith and other denominational statements

Organizers hope GAMEO will eventually include articles from the Anabaptist family around the world and be available in multiple languages. At the start, however, it will focus on the U.S and Canada and be only in English - GAMEO

NEW BOOK RELEASES

An Introduction to the Russian Mennonites by Wally Kroeker was released late last year by Good Books. Kroeker, a former Leader editor, tells of the flights and resettlements of Russian Mennonites to new homelands in the Ukraine, the Chaco North American Midwest, Germany and beyond. The book includes dozens of historic and contemporary photographs.

New translations of From Anabaptist Seed by C. Arnold Snyder have been released in Italian and Telugu, bringing to 13 the number of languages in which the book is available. The small book's presentation of basic Anabaptist doctrine and principles of identity and faith has become a popular choice for study groups around the world. The Jadcherla Centenary MB Church in India released the book Nov. 6, 2005. This first publication of the MB Historical Commission in India was made possible by the generosity of "an Indian Mennonite brother who lives in the U.S." The excellent response has already put in motion plans for a second printing in about six months. The book was commissioned by Mennonite World Conference and first released in English in 1999.-GB/MWC

MENNONITE RECTOR

Mennonite Kris Herawan Timotius has been appointed as the new rector of Satya Wacana University (UKSW) in Salatiga in Central Java for the 2005 to 2009 term. Timotius, an advisor to Gereja Kristen Muria Indonesia, was inaugurated in November 2005 and is the university's first rector with a Mennonite background The Christian university, with masters and doctoral programs, was established in 1956. It is owned by 18 church conferences in nine provinces Its 11,000 students in 13 faculties are of various ethnic groups, making the campus a "mini Indonesia. " - MWC

he writer of Ecclesiastes tells of a man who is all alone. His work is endless and his wealth does not satisfy. Why am I working so hard, he wonders, depriving myself of enjoyment? The writer concludes that such an existence is umiserable business.:»:»

Life is better, continues the writer, when one is not alone and he then celebrates the benefits of relationships. (;'Two .are better than one, P#l '18 -because they have a good return for their work· I1Jt falls friends can help him up. But pity the > help him up! Also, if two lie down how can one keep can defend themselves strands is not . Issue on

Horse sense

What I am lea rning from horses

HORSES HAVE BECOME SOME OF MY MOST VALUED COMPANIONS and teachers, even though they were not a big part of my early life. Through my experiences and interactions with my horses - Spanky, Buddy, Sonny, Sammy and Bandit- I am learning more about myself and how I interact with people.

Trust is key

Trust is fundamental to healthy relationships Some people believe horses approach life as prey animals, vulnerable to predators. If this is true, alleviating the instinctive fear horses have of humans as potential predators is basic to building relationships with them

I remember a horse trainer saying that if you can allay a horse's instinctive fear , develop a trusting relationship with it and tap into the horse's natural curiosity and desire for relationship, you can do almost anything with it. But if the horse is afraid, it is a dangerous animal.

Loading horses onto an enclosed trailer is a good example. Few things are more unnatural than for a horse to enter a dark, enclosed hole, which is what an enclosed trailer must look like to a horse. Buddy, one of my older horses, resists trailer loading and loading him can be a dangerous ordeal. The others easily jump into the trailer with little coaxing. They have come to trust that when I ask them to enter the trailer I will do them no hann

When I was with my horses several years ago, it occurred to me that a person with whom I had a difficult relationship might be resisting my concerns and overtures partly out of mistrust and fear. The lack of trust between us was more basic than the issues I thought needed to be addressed. I saw how I needed to listen more carefully and be less insistent about my agenda if trust were to develop between us. This experience helped me realize that trust is undennined when I become willful and demanding about my concerns and when others are not sure I am listening to what they are thinking and feeling.

Sensing emotions

My experience with horses confinns that humans and animals share a common emotional field that includes fear, anxiety, love and trust. A horse has an uncanny ability to recognize a person's underlying emotion-love, trust, fear, bravado, hostility-and will respond out of its own emotion, be it trust, anxiety or hostility.

In their book Horse Sense and the Human Heart, Adele and Marlena McConnick tell stories about their use of horses in their work with youth. They tell about horses detecting the bravado that tough, streetwise kids sometimes bring to their first encounter with horses The horses immediately recognize the fear that may be masked by bravado. The honest, straightforward feedback of a horse often leads to more honest and transparent relationships with other people. Horses are used in a variety of therapeutic programs partly because of their capacity to sniff out the emotional dynamics that words sometimes hide and deflect.

My horses are not impressed with what I know or my ability to talk about what I know. But they immediately know when I am tense or anxious, even

when I am not in touch with these emotional undercurrents. They know when I am bluffing or posturing to make an impression. They react when I get impatient and try to force them to do what I want them to do.

Relating to horses has helped me become more aware of deep-seated emotions with which I am sometimes not in touch

Nonverbal cues

Monty Roberts, in his book The Man Who Talks with Horses, describes how he developed his system of horse training by observing wild mustangs communicating with each other. He saw how they communicated with each other with their heads, mouths, ears, tails , feet and withers. From this he concluded that safe and effective interaction with horses requires awareness of these nonverbal cues . Horses are quick to give off and pick up on nonverbal signals by which emotion is communicated.

Rational, verbal communication may set humans apart from other animals but we also depend on nonverbal, bodily communication. We communicate many of our emotions, especially our fears and anxieties, reactively and nonverbally. Becoming more observant about the cues given by horses has helped me recognize that I have often been too focused on verbal communication and concepts and missed nonverbal cues that others gave me or that I inadvertently gave others. Relating with horses requires being in touch with the underlying emotional process in our interaction and the nonverbal ways it is communicated. Interacting with horses is helping me become more observant and increases my capacity to recognize and decipher nonverbal communication.

I am also learning that communication only happens ifthe message is accurately received. It's not enough for it to be sent. If a horse does not understand or trust what I am trying to communicate, my efforts to communicate are worthless or even dangerous. My horses are teaching me that I can't think, talk or will my way into a relationship Like horses, people instinctively react to having a relationship imposed upon them.

It's satisfying when a horse responds to nonverbal signals - strokes on its neck, a twitch of a rein, a bump on its side or the slightest shift in the

saddle. Some people believe that a kind of mental telepathy can develop where a horse actually reads its rider's intention. I marvel at the bond possible between a horse and a person when they trust each other and are on the same emotional wavelength.

Fast is slow

In his book Horse Sense for People, Monty Roberts explores the adage that "fast is slow and slow is fast ." He insists that it simply doesn't pay to get in a hurry with a horse.

I am leaming that my impatience usually reflects my anxiety and usually raises anxiety in others It may reflect unspoken demands and my need for control that usually increases resistance and gets in the way of what I am trying to do - fast is slow.

I am also learning that this principle applies to my relationship with God. I often become demanding and insistent about what I want. My impatience with God belies a lack of trust in God's love and provision Building trust and healthy relationships with horses , people and God takes time and patience.

Slowleamer

My experience with horses is helping me achieve greater self-awareness and understanding of what goes into healthy relationships and good communication. These principles are neither novel nor complex. Most people learn them without ever interacting with a horse. I have known these principles in my head most of my life, but I've been slow in learning how to apply them in my relationships.

I still have much to learn about building trust with horses and people and about nonverbal communication. I still get anxious and impatient and find it hard

to act on the axiom that "fast is slow and slow is fast." Interacting with horses is teaching me about the corrosive impact of excessive anxiety and fear.

I don't mean to romanticize horses . They can be stubborn, mean and temperamental. I have been kicked, bucked off and bitten. As a young child I was riding with a grownup and fell off when the horse was startled I still have a scar on my head to prove it. But that horse did not mean to hurt me or anyone else. He was responding out of fear.

Problem horses are usually the result of mismanagement or mixed messages from people. Their misbehavior is often the result of fear and responding to nonverbal cues that may have been given inadvertently. One trainer said he had seen few problem horses but many problem riders.

I am grateful for the simple pleasure of being with horses and the opportunity of building trusting relationships with them. I am also grateful for what interacting with horses is teaching me about myself and my interactions with people.

Keith Harder of Hillsboro, Kan ., is director of Congregational and Ministerial Leadership for Mennonite Church USA. This article first appeared in the Oct 4, 2005 issue of The Mennonite. It is reprinted with permission.

rake your marriag

"HEY, DO YOU WANT TO GO someplace newt' my beloved asks.

"Mmm," I think to myself, 'Tm intrigued. It might be great. Then again .. .."

This snippet illustrates what so ohen hoodwinks marriages in our culture into resignation and apathy. Going someplace new seems a lot like investing in growth stocks A person has to strongly desire significant gains to endure the possibility of loss. For most of us the fear of risk and discomfort seems so much bigger than the potential life and vitality we seek. It becomes very tempting to just stay safe.

It reminds me of the 10 spies who had experienced the wealth of the Promised Land. Instead of being emboldened by God's provision and the adventure ahead - as were Joshua and Caleb-these spies focused only on the problems and their fear. Their recommendation: "Let's just stay here in the desert for now."

Renewal and risk

When I read the Gospels, Jesus seems to always be calling people to a new place. To go someplace new involves risking the unknown. I want renewal. I want to feel alive and vital. But I keep discovering that the aliveness and "abundant life" Jesus came to bring does not come without venturing into new territory.

The famous quote hom The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe marquees this truth. The children are about to meet the great lion AsIan and ask, " Is he safe?" The reply, "No, he is not safe, but he is good." Again we see the truth of the marriage between great risk and great goodness in the spiritual arena.

I admit that experiencing safeness in marriage, as in life itself, is quite important. Safety and protection are part of our experience of God. God is a rock, a hiding place and a shelter in the time of stonn . But God is also a refining fire, a

someplace new

wind that blows where it wills and an awe-inspiring presence that leaves our jaws agape.

The true God offers both of these experiences to us. And as sons and daughters who are being remade into God's image our relationships, especially in marriage, must be both refuge and adventure

Most of us marital therapisrs, however, have operated on a different assumption . For decades now our profession has labored to help couples develop relationships that are more comfortable, known, predictable and safe, believing renewal would then magically come out of hiding.

grace before meals. Yvonne didn't want to make John uncomfortable by pointing out the lack of prayer between them, but she also felt her love toward John cooling. John just gave her space to "work it out." They played it safe.

Then one day Yvonne admirted to herself that she was feeling very attracted to a man at work. This really surprised her and frightened her. After months of trying to suppress her desire, she confided in a friend. Wisely, the friend directed her to discuss her situation with John. Although they had never visited this land before, Yvonne told John about her struggles .

Awkward, unexpressed and painful feelings surfaced. They went to therapy, another new land for them . A regular time to really talk helped a lot. The therapist helped them discover what the longing was in Yvonne that had become detoured into an attraction to another man. They also let a few friends know that

It seems to me that most marriage enrichment approaches pursue a kinder, gentler way of being with each other and don't bring the desired energy or transformation.

Be bold

Marriages need to choose and offer adventure, desire, imagination, challenge and play every bit as much as they need to choose and offer comfort, predictability, security, kindness and understanding Both are needed for marriages to thrive.

It seems to me that most marriage enrichment approaches pursue a kinder, gentler way of being with each other and don't bring the desired energy or transformation Sadly, those who aim to enrich marriages do little more than encourage us to stay in the desert of safety and to spruce it up a bit rather than to boldly embrace the adventure of journeying forth toward the Promised Land Jesus, following the example of Joshua and Caleb, didn't come proclaiming the gospel of safety and selfpreservation. He kept calling people to a new way of living, a new way of thinking and relating.

John and Yvonne are an example of a couple who took their marriage someplace new. They were a model couple in their church with a good, strong faith. They spent their lives caring for their kids , friends, co-workers and extended family.

Several years ago, Yvonne had a very intimate, renewal experience with God through a prayer retreat. She told John about it, but he didn't seem to comprehend how miraculous this event was to her. She chalked it up to John being more head than heart and to being raised in a family where one's piety is private

They had prayed together as a young married couple. But once kids came, prayers together were limited to

their relationship was being tested. The support they received helped them feel more normal and encouraged. But they still were struggling.

Then after several months, their friends noticed a budding warmth and affection between John and Yvonne. When asked, they beamed, 'We got to the end of our efforts to fix ourselves so we turned to God and started praying together." Every time Yvonne heard John pray for God to make him the kind of man to whom Yvonne would be attracted, tears of love and joy were released in her.

Power of prayer

Prayer with a real God about real things between spouses is never safe but it is good. We're talking about putting conversation with God right in the middle of who didn't vacuum or come home on time, what discipline to employ at meals, eating habits, lack of compliments, who controls the remote, navigating the when, what kind, and how much of lovemaking, who we are attracted to, etc.

The self-protective, avoidant, subtly critical ways we speak to each other often don't fly when we're in the presence of Jesus. Often our marriages and our own struggles are the last things we take to God in prayer. Safe prayer is just gratitude and praise coupled with prayer for others' needs. Bringing our own brokenness, hurts, internal conflicts and longings to God together is someplace very new for most Christian marriages.

The lesson learned from John and Yvonne: One way to take your marriage someplace new is to open up to someone wise who loves you. Share with God or someone who embodies God's love and wisdom such as a marriage mentor or counselor the real events between the two of you

Work or play

Herb and Joyce are another example of a couple who took their marriage someplace new. On good days their marriage was complementary. On bad days it was polarized. Herb was all work. Joyce was all play

Herb had worked since age II. He had taken over his dad 's business in his

20S and felt work had taught him responsibility. respect and everything he valued. He married Joyce and they had six kids together. But rather than keeping house and preparing meals. Joyce gravitated daily toward creative activities. both by herself and with the children. She loved singing. laughter. painting and play.

Herb wanted the kids to work at the family business for a few hours each day after school like he did growing up. Then he wanted them home for homework and to help him and Joyce with house and yard work. Joyce wanted them to enjoy life. be creative. play and explore their imaginations. When they came to therapy. Joyce had taken to sleeping up in the attic and painting hours upon end to escape the conflict and tension. Herb just pushed himself and the kids to work harder to keep things afloat. We rried different things. but with little success And then God intervened.

Every year the family traveled to Florida. all eight of them by van. At the last minute. Joyce's mother fell and needed someone to stay with her But Herb was only free this patticular week. Rather than cancel the trip. Joyce and Herb decided Herb would take the kids by himself The kids all

groaned. Dad's idea of a vacation was to pick up trash on the beach. It was Mom who kept things relaxed and fun

Traveling new roads

When they returned to therapy weeks later. Herb and Joyce looked amazingly better. Herb confessed that after about 13 hours of sullenness driving alone with his children. he realized "all work makes a dull family!" He decided he'd better offer more of Joyce's spirit to the rrip. So he started singing show tunes with the kids, something he had always let Joyce do alone

Herb felt convicted that his great legacy of productivity was little more than the ranting of a workaholic. He realized he had a lot of catching up to do in playing with his kids. Herb and the kids had a great vacation. Plus. seeing Joyce sacrifice and "work" on her mother's behalf helped him see Joyce in a whole new light.

In reflecting with people about their marriage dynamics. I constantly see couples lost in the desert. They are hoping to find the Promised Land there rather than in the place God has provided. Herb. who was really good at being dutiful, only looked for what he desired in the land of dutifulness while Joyce. who Was really good at self-expression. only looked in the land of self-expression. It was only when Joyce and Herb ventured into each other's values and perspectives that they could embrace what was lost in themselves and find the healing they desired.

There are moments in every marriage where love calls us to abandon our agenda and to die to our prized beliefs about what is needed and important. To join wholeheartedly in our spouse's vision for what's needed and important. For most spouses. this is definitely "going someplace new." I believe in so doing our marriages can experience the wealth of the marital Promised Land.

And so the question remains, "Do you want to go someplace new?"

Ron Vogt is a marriage therapist with Recovery of Hope. a service of Philhaven Behavior Healthcare Services, an agency of the Lancaster Conference of the Mennonite Church located in Mt. (jretna, Penn. Vogt. who became the Recovery of Hope director in 1994. began his training in pastoral counseling and graduated from MB Biblical Seminary in 1985. He recommends www.smartmarriages.com for links to resources

Tough words for

On his son's wedding day. a father offers some tough words.

This marriage challenge is excerpted from a sermon given last summer at th e marriage of th e author's son

In this celebration Bruce and Natalie are marrying each other and al so into each other's families: another set of parents, more siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews This can be a tremendous support group for beginners on the road to wedded bliss as they learn to share their lives and resources.

I will base my thoughts on the words beginning with the three letters ' 'TLC ."

No, I am not thinking of the soft fuzzy words we usually associate with these letters. I have chosen some tough words that will help make the "soft words" a reality.

'T' stands for total. This is an all-inclusive word For each of you it means: "I bring all my affection, energy, resources and time to bear on our relationship so recently begun, for all of my life." This is an awesome thought and an awesome commitment. It will take you a long way in your relationship. We ask God to give you a long time in which to grow together.

"L" stands for loyal This word has an exclusive connotation. In the marriage relationship it means: "I give my all to you and to no one else but you ."

First of all for the Christian, it means total loyalty to God, to serve him with the whole heart. This is the true foundation for successful living and a good marriage relationship.

Loyalty also means a deep desire that says: "I want to help you, my spouse, to succeed in your life as a total person-in the spiritual, intellectual, social, physical and material aspects of life, and to hold them in proper priority and balance ."

Finally, loyalty means that the inner room of human intimacy is reserved exclusively for the one I marry.

"c" stands for commitment. Whatever the circumstances or personal feelings may be, this is not an on/off relationship . Commitment means constancy and consistency. You are assuming responsibility for each other's well-being and development. It is saying : "I will be accountable to you and hold you accountable to me in love "

This is the environment in which a loving marriage relationship will grow. We find these concepts written in the Scriptures and also in your marriage vows These tough words-total, loyal and commitment-form one phrase and together give substance and strength to the soft, warm, fuzzy words "tender loving care."

May God make these truths an ever increasing reality in your lives as you walk hand in hand together with Jesus . Paul and Maurine Friesen were missionaries with MBMS International to Peru on a volunteer retirement status. He was killed in a December 2005 automobile accident.

A BRITISH PUBLICATION ONCE offered a prize for the best definition of a friend

The winning definition read. "A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."

C.S Lewis made an astute comment on the origins of friendship: " Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You. too? I thought I was the only one .'"

Life lacks hope without meaningful relationships. And without significant friends to draw out their best. many never reach the maximum poten -

When two are better than

one

Few people consider relationships as something to be stewarded. But strong relationships should be cultivated as an essential part of a holistic life

.

tial of their strength and influence . Mary Carolyn Davis put it best in her verse, entitied 'Three":

'Three men. together riding.

Can win new worlds at their will; Resolute. ne'er dividing.

Lead, and be victors still.

Three can laugh and doom a king.

Three can make the planets sing "

But amidst our daily schedules it can be easy to forget-or even ignore - the important relationships in our lives. whether they are friends and family or church members and neighbors .

For example many may receive great satisfaction from their work. But labor does not provide the most essential purpose and joy in our lives . You will rarely hear of someone on their deathbed who bemoans the lack of time spent at work. but people often express regret for time not spent in relationship .

Few people consider relationships as something to be stewarded But strong relationships should be cultivated as an essential part

of a holistic life. Meaningful connections multiply our options, output and outreach.

Close relationships bring good spiritual accountability, emotional stability and a sense of belonging - all

more to us than just an hour on Sunday moming. It ought to be cultivated in the larger context of shared meals, small groups and solid friendships We are not whole, independent, self-sufficient, super-capable and all -powerful. We need others, and they need us.

In this era of independent churches , ent re preneurial bu sin esses a nd individualism, we should grasp that God m eant for us to live in connection.

elements which are critical to effectiveness. We conserve time because we are not wasting precious hours resolving conflict. Relationships help us use our talents productively because multiple gifts can complement and enhance each other, as in an orchestra, for example. And groups who pool financial resources in relationship get more done with less money - there is power in combining financial influence

Conversely, poor relationships can limit our usefulness in other stewardship areas. The Carnegie Technological Institute has stated that 90 percent of all people who fail in their life's vocation fail because they cannot get along with people.

Health crises are statistically harder and longer when faced alone; most ministry efforts have limited success when solitary endeavors and finances are not maximized without effective counsel from others. Relational conflict or crisis adds stress to ministry efforts; it is a distraction from fully investing with our time, talent, health, or finances. Poor relationships adversely affect all other stewardship areas to a significant degree.

So how can we invest in this area prudently and ensure that we are wise stewards of our important interactions?

We should understand our need for relationship. In this era of independent churches, entrepreneurial businesses and individualism, we should grasp that God meant for us to live in connection. We are told in Scripture to put into practice the "one anothers" of the New Testament: love one another, pray for one another, be kind to one another, etc.

Community should come to mean

One night three -year-old Laurie requested her mother's aid in getting undressed. 'Iou know how to undress yourself," the young mother reminded her. 'les," Laurie explained, 'but sometimes people need people anyway, even if they know how to do things by themselves."

We should make our most significant relationships a priority. When relationships are not fostered, they wi\1 tend toward entropy.

Therefore we must begin to make decisions that put people before production This sttategy will lead to a long -term validation of our ministry, not its undermining . We should

better "

Only God will be able to calculate the eternal impact made in our world when we make friendship and fellowship a successful stewardship goal.

Only when we bring our sins and struggles into the light with fellow believers will we find the free dom to conquer those sins.

choose God first- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart" (Deut. 6:1$) - family second-"Love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev 19:18)-and ministry third.

We should cultivate relational openness, getting under the surface to what is authentic. So many people struggle needlessly with sin because they are respectable with others, but not real. Sin by its very nature isolates and divides. Sheep that stray or are cut off from the rest of the flock are easily picked off and devoured. Only when we bring our sins and struggles into the light with fellow believers will we find the freedom to conquer those sins. The Bible says, "Confess your sins to each other that you may be healed" (James $:16). Someone once wisely said long ago, 'The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself." It is still true today.

Churches can help create this culture of relational vulnerability by making opportunities for members to connect on a deeper level: initiating small groups, facilitating relational seminars, encouraging ministry in pairs, developing systems of accountability and designing opportunities for older church members to mentor younger believers.

We must create connection activities that give people a chance to develop spiritually nurturing relationships. In doing so, we become less like a bag of marbles, independently bouncing off each other, and more like a bag of grapes, involved and intertwined in each other's lives to everyone's spiritual benefit.

In the spring of 1994, Mr. Alter's fifth grade class at Lake Elementary School in Oceanside, Calif., included 14 boys who had no hair. Only one, however, had no choice in the matter.

Ian O'Gorman, undergoing chemotherapy for lymphoma, faced the prospect of having his hair fall out. So he had his head shaved. But then 13 of his classmates decided to shave their heads also. Ten-year-old Kyle Hanslik started it all . He talked to some other boys, and before long they all trekked to the barbershop. 'The last thing he would want is to not fit in," said Kyle 'We just wanted to make him feel

Roy E. Bronkema is a freelance writer specia li zing in work for churches and Christian organizations Roy and his wife Nancy reside in Niles, Mich. This article is part of a holistic stewa rdship series commissioned by Mennonite Mutual Aid, a stewardship solutions organization dedicated to promoting holistic giving through its expertise in insurance, financial services, charitable-giving programs and fraterna l benefits.

National convention scheduled for July

Bylaws and reports to dominate business sessions

Transformation will be the highlight and theme of the 2006 U.S. Conference biennial convention to be held this July in North Carolina Keynote speakers will address transforming the local church while business sessions will give delegates the opportunity to take action on significant proposals, including a set of bylaws that will alter the way in which the denomination is governed.

The 2006 convention continues two popular features of the 2004 convem1on. A national MB Pastors' Conference will precede the national convention; the first such event for pastoral staff members and their families held two years ago was very well received .

Local congregations will again host the national convention, a practice that was resumed in 1998 following a decade of meeting in Colorado Springs, Colo., without a contingent of local host congregations . The 2006 convention will be hosted by the North Carolina Conference of MB Churches and will be held in Boone, NC, a college town nestled in the scenic Blue Ridge Mountains.

Convention business

Restructuring the U S Conference, a process begun at the 2004 convention, will he continued- and hopefully conc1udedthis summer. Two years ago convention delegates authorized a twO-y¢ar provisional Structure based on a Staff-driven; single lead" ership board model. This summer delegates will vote on a set of based on that provisional structure. 'or tWO years amne .mtmtber Leade.tsbip B<lard1las t'be:.{,1SC.1il!at much of its atte ·

on the development of bylaws. Last spring the board hired consultant Les Stahlke to assist in writing bylaws and other governance documents.

Next month Leadership Board members as well as board chairs and chief executive officers of all U.S. MB entities will review a draft of those bylaws when they meet in Phoenix, Ariz., for the 2006 USC Leadership Summit. A final draft will be published prior to the July convention.

While the provisional structure included a single national conference board, the proposed bylaws have expanded that to two boards 'We will be proposing the creation of a new board of faith and life," explains USC Executive Director Chuck Buner.111e main function would1£to uphold andapply the MB confession of faith.

The proposed bylaws incorporate material from memos of understanding drafted when the General Conference was divested to the Canadian and U S Conferences, current bylaws and other documentation of MB Biblical Seminary, MB Foundation and MBMS International as well as the Southern, Central and Pacific District Conferences . The proposed USC bylaws make no changes to the bylaws of these agencies .

Delegates are key

Buller hopes that each church will consider sending its moderator and church treasurer as delegates to the July convention "If they did so, it would probably transform the U S Conference, " he says

Every U.S. Mennonite Brethren church is asked to send one delegate for every 50 members Delegates can prepare for the convention by reading the report in the Christian UAckr the month prior to the con:ventiott Buller. :Buller sayt

willingness to report back to their local church leaders.

worship team will facilitate times of singing and worship. According to Buller. 2006 convention delegates have a unique opportunity to help organize the denomination . "If delegates would come and take ownership for the convention. that would be ideal." says Buller Buller considers decisions being made at the 2006 convention as " monumental" and says delegates have an "incredibly important function."

The proposed changes in the USC governance structure present an opportunity to organize and anticipate upcoming issues 'We will be positioned to serve the needs of the church in the future while we celebrate our past." says Buller.

Business sessions and agency reports are scheduled for Saturday and Chuck Buller will be the Saturday keynote speaker. As is tradition. the convention will culminate Saturday with a communion service. Delegates are invited to attend Sunday morning worship services at one of the area MB churches

Both the Pastors' Conference and the USC convention will include a full children's and youth component. Activities provided for youth will include several options that are native to the North Carolina region. Hiking and rafting are among the many local recreational possibilities. Convention highlights

The convention will begin Friday. July 28. with dinner and a time of worship at Boone Methodist Church. The North Carolina MB Conference has made arrangements with this church to use their facility as it will nicely accommodate convention delegates and guests as well as children and youth Seven of the eight MB churches are located within 45 miles of Boone in western North Carolina. They were established by the Krimmer Mennonite Brethren Church over 100 years ago. Spiritual Revival Center. a Slavic congregation located near Charlotte. is a recent addition to the North Carolina district conference.

Terry H!!nt. modc,rator North Carolina COf!ference. will be the Friday evening keynote speaker. A North Carolina conference

Pastors' Conference

Pastoral staff members. their spouses and families are invited to the Pastors' Conference that will precede the convention. The Pastors' Conference begins with dinner July 26 and will conclude the afternoon of July 28. allowing the first event to flow into the beginning of the convention that evening.

The Pastors' Conference seeks to achieve three goals. says Buller. First and foremost. it will provide a setting for pastors their ¥!lses from all five geographic areas of the USC to be together for fellowship and build a sense

Ne churches to host convention

Recent u.s. C onference conventions have provided attendees with the opportunity to experience firsthand the dive rse congregations that compri se the U.S Mennonite Brethren family. and the 2006 convention continues that tradition In 19 98 delegates met in Los Angeles C alif.• and were introduced to MB Korean congregations in that metro area Denver. C olo .• was th e si te of the 2000 convention . Delegates ventured north in 2002 and were ably ho sted by MB congregations in Abbotsford. BC . as U .S. delegates met jointly each evening with their Canadian counterparts to celebrate the conclusion of a binational General Conference .

In 2004. th e co nvention and Pastors' C onference were hosted by the two MB congregations that call home the greater Salt Lake C ity area : Sou th Mountain C ommunity C hurch and its daughter congregation Shadow Mountain Community C hurch

This summer pastors and convention delegates will be hosted by the churches of the North Carolina Conference of MB Churches The eight congregations that comprise the district will be hosting the Pastors' Conference and the USC convention in Boone using the facility of a la rger congregation . U S Conferen ce Executive Director

Chuck Buller says North Carolina is the site of th is year's convention for a variety of reasons Holding the biennial national convention in Boone provides an opportunity for the denomination to celebrate the loo -plus year history of this band of churches and to bless their ongoing efforts to minister to their communities

Th e North C arolina churches have been part of the USC since 1960 when the Krimmer Mennon ite Brethren Conference merged with the Mennonite Brethren . The North C arolina churches were founded in

the early 1890S as the result of KMBC home mission efforts

Up until now. property deeds of the majority of North C arolina district churches have been in the USC 's possession The 2006 convention will serve as a milestone as the national conference turns the property titles over to the local churches

"We want to celebrate and bless the North Carolina District. It was an oversight that the titles didn't get transferred and we want to correct that. " says Buller

Another draw of a North Carolina convention locale is its beautiful surroundings in the Blue Ridge Mountains the array of recreational activities available and the various furn iture manufacturers located in the region Boone's proximity to other East C oast attractions is another draw Convention organizers anticipate that delegates may include the convention as part of an extended family vacation - JB

of community

A second purpose of the Pastors' Conference is to provide for pastoral education.

Reggie McNeal, director of leadership development for the South Carolina Baptist McNeal Convention, will be the keynote speaker McNeal will focus his talks on church transformation.

McNeal is the author of four books including The Present Future: Six Tough Questions for the Church and Practicing Greatness to be released this spring. He has served as a consultant to church and para-church leadership teams, as well as a seminar developer and presenter for church leaders in North America.

Reggie Hunt, senior pastor of Cornerstone Summit Church in Boone, will address the pastors as will Buller. Hunt has served as a pastor widn he North Carolina ME Confeyence.

Worship will be another major component of the Pastors' Conference. A worship band coordinated by Rod Jost, youth minister of Hillsboro (Kan .) M.B. Church, will lead the pastors in music and worship. The Cornerstone Church worship band will also enhance the worship experience.

Comedian Kenn

Kington will be featured during the Thursday evening dinner hour

Kington is considered one of the most sought-after comeKington dians in the country and is known as a creative and humorous organizational, conference and church speaker He is the author of the top-ten book on relationships Searching for a Super Man Watching for a Wonder Woman .

The Pastors' Conference will conclude Friday morning with a tour of Samaritan's Purse, a ministry of Franklin Graham. Many MB churches participate in the Samaritan's Purse Christmas shoebox project. Touring the ministry will give pastoral staff the unique opportunity to take a firsthand look at the ministry headquarters. In the afternoon, pastors will have £tee time before the evening's start of the USC convention .- by Jennifer Brandt newswriter

V-&lunteers Fefurb-ishchurch facilities

Pacific volunteers prepare for MDS work

Mennonite Brethren with construction skills have opportunities to put their experience to work for regional MB churches thanks to two USERV teams. The Pacific District U-SERV ministry is coordinated by Don Loewen of Bakersfield. Calif. Wilmer Thiessen of Hillsboro, Kan • coordinates the Southern District Conference Team U-SERV ministry Both teams have recently completed church renovation projects

In late 2005. the Pacific U-SERV team completed a project re -roofing a Mennonite Church USA church building in downtown Los Angeles Volunteers included Loewen, John Friesen of Reedley (Calif.) MB Church, John Lopez of Rosedale Bible Church in Bakersfield, and Eddie Neufeld and Eric Manca. both of Neighborhood Church of Visalia, Calif. A team of seven Pacific District volunteers plans to work with Mennonite Disaster Service in hurricane damage cleanup this spring.

Southern District volunteers with Team U-SERV built a wheelchair ramp for Lighthouse Community Church in Wichita, Kan. 'The volunteers came with just the right experience and tools to do the job well," says Thiessen .

Over the course of two Saturdays in November, a total of 17 volunteers ftom four Mennonite Brethren congregations built the forms and poured the cement for a five-foot-wide sidewalk and for 12 foundations for the ramp, constructed the ramp and installed a larger door to accommodate wheelchairs . Parkview MB Church of Hillsboro. Kan ., collected funds toward the project as part of their mission conference Those contributions covered the cost of the entire project.from U-SERV reports

PDe volunteers repair church roof in downtown Los Angeles

Congo moves toward local, national elections

MCC hopes to ensure peaceful process

Common parlance in Nonh America is that politics and reli· gion do not mix. But in the Democratic Republic of Congo (ORC), where in 2006 local and national multipany elec· tions will be held for the first time in 4S years , religious groups, including the country's Mennonite and Mennonite Brethren churches, are hoping their involvement in the electoral process will assure peaceful elections

The ORC is, by any measure, one of the world's most trou· bled countries, devastated by decades of corrupt leadership and a civil war from 1998 to 2002. Hunger, disease and violence are widespread.

The Mennonite churches, with suppon from Mennonite Central Committee, are teaching their communities to panici· pate peacefully in the elections. Protestant and Catholic organi· zations are disttibuting booklets and posters describing the vot· ing process.

Both hope and dread accompany the current election sea· son, which is the first experience with democracy for most Congolese people. Although there is hope that a democratically elected government will lead the ORC into a better era, many also fear that the election process will divide the nation and cause violent conflicts

"(Political) patties are somewhat agitated here against each other, and they could potentially stir things up against each other," MCC worker Dennis Rempel says

Working with several Congolese colleagues, Rempel teach· es religious and community leaders to serve as election observers and conflict mediators throughout the election season. They have held training seminars in the capital city, Kinshasa, and in sever· al eastern cities where conflicts have been more frequent and often more violent.

MCC is contributing $92,000 to train conflict mediators, organize election observers and provide funding for civic educa · tion seminars that help prepare people for elections MCC is the relief. service and peace agency of the Nonh American Mennonite and Brethren in Christ churches .

Rempel is a former missionary to Burkina Faso and holds a master's degree in dispute resolution He says that despite the uncenainties surrounding the ORe's elections, it is exciting to work with Congolese people who are dreaming of a better future for their country.

"One of the things that I use in the training is 'imaging'having everybody imagine what they would like the Congo to look like in a perfect sense and what that means for choosing leaders," he says - MCC

elections in the Congo

Students and professors of the Christian University of Kinshasa recently gathered over lunch to discuss upcoming elections in the Democratic Republic of Congo As one could expect in a country recently tom by a brutal war, where economic and state infrastructures are close to nonexistent, their list of grievances was quite exten· sive.

What is the international community doing about insecurity? Why are professors not being paid correctly? Why are there no jobs? Are the elections going to change anything? The students waver between hope and skepti· cism, anger and expectation.

General elections are expected to be held between March and June 2006, and the students' queries remain in flux Most don't know how they will end up paying for school fees Most, if not all, struggle on a daily basis to make ends meet.

"In such a situation it is tempting to hope that the elec· tions will revolutionize everything." says David Blough, who traveled to ORC as interim director of MCC's U.N. Liaison Office. "It is also easy to think the elections won't change anything."

On one hand optimistic students point out that over 23 million Congolese, an estimated 7S percent of potential vot· ers, have been registered to vote despite huge logistical issues. Those students also insist that the suppon of the international community is unprecedented: while the

Congolese government is covering one-tenth of the total cost of the elections, estimated to be $432 million, the United Nations Mission in the DRC is providing $103 million in logistical support Individual donor countries are providing close to $300 million.

Considering the wars that erupted in 1996 and 1998, the fact that the transition process is on track is indeed a great source of hope, according to Blough. Looking at the history of the Congo since its independence also brings reasons to believe that the future looks a lirtle brighter, Blough says "'The people and their leaders will at last have a chance to build a democratic state."

On the other hand , pessimistic students insist that the transition to democracy remains fragile. In addition to humanitarian and security

Canning a better apricot MEDA helps Tajik growers compete on global scale

In Tajikistan's Ferghana valley, thousands of acres of apricot trees were heavy with issues throughout the country, political condi- fruit, ready to be picked. Fruit farmers Eugene Enns of California and John Janzen tions are far from ideal. While the population is of Ontario were impressed with the potential harvest. clearly yearning for change, the political elite

But at a nearby processing plant, last year's canned apricots told a different story. appears to be satisfied with the status quo. Most 'The end product was blemished and mushy. 'The old Soviet-style canning line was rustpoliticians in power have gained their influence ing and decrepit. t hrougn the war an d Will lose tl1 en c out wi·" t r-t.,-e I-

"Nothmg ed ible can come from tl1 ls eqUipment, elections. (Calif.) MB Church, concluded.

Moreover pessimistic students fear the elec- It sounded harsh, but this candid assessment would help determine what had haptions themselves might trigger local outbreaks of pened in the short distance between the luscious tree fruit, only an hour down the road, violence. Because of the lack of a strong demo- and the dismal product emerging on the other end. It would help Mennonite Economic cratic tradition and a real political base, many par- Development Associates decide how best to help Tajik growers compete on a global ties will campaign along ethnic or regional lines. scale.

Blough says that elections clearly will not be Tajikistan is a small mountainous country bordering China, Afghanistan, a panacea for the DRC 'The post-electoral peri- Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan. Until 1991 it was part of the former Soviet Union, but even od will be filled with challenges. Large amounts then it was the poorest of the republics Civil war and economic collapse reduced 84 of funding are needed to meet humanitarian percent of the population of 6·4 million to poverty. needs : 25 percent of the DRC remains inaccessi- In the Soviet era, the "market" was secure. Farmers and processors simply met ble and mortality rates are high in many areas. their quota and delivered their product There was no penalty for low quality; no incenVast investments are also necessary in the devel- tive to improve. opment sector. Basic infrastructures and services

With the demise of the Soviet system and the rise of Asian and Eastern European are desperately needed, while public services markets, Tajik farmers now need to compete with berter quality imports of fresh, dried such as health and education must be dramatical- and processed fruits that are produced more efficiently in Turkey and China. Unless the ly improved. trend is stopped, their market share will continue to shrink. But if they get up to inter-

Whether the optimistic or the pessimistic national standards they can compete with imports as well as participate in a huge marstudents are right depends much on the involve- ket in Eastern and Western Europe. ment of both the international community and In 200 4 MEDA undertook a four-year $4 5 million contract with the Canadian the churches before, during and after the elec- International Development Agency to alleviate poverty by boosting fruit and vegetable tions . Through the Urgent Peace Project, production in northern Tajikistan. Mennonite Central Committee is providing civic

The first task was to help thousands of small farmers adapt to and grow in a mareducation, mediation training and observer pro- ket economy. This involved extension services, affordable micro-irrigation and rural grams. Local churches, including Mennonite credit. The project has several components-working on the farms with technical assiscongregations, are making efforts to coordinate tance and credit (from planting, varieties, cultivation, harvesting); processing (transthose numerous initiatives. portation, equipment, product design and R&D) ; and marketing (development of mar"Success is ultimately not about being opti- kets and products, quality control). mistic or pessimistic," Blough says. "It is a matter

The primary purpose of this most recent visit by MEDA members with expertise of commitment, faith and determination." - in fruit production and manufacturing was to Mee examine the situation and offer counsel on A young Tajik girl helps her mother pit apricots.

setting priorities. A second purpose was to expose Tajik businesspeople and farmers to people who know what it takes to make businesses work in an open market.

The group followed fruit and vegetables from the farm to the market to see why good produce does not translate to a good product on the shelves They toured orchards. processing plants and support businesses such as a jar factory and a machine shop.

The experts found problems at alllevels - varietals and product selection; pruning. harvesting and culling techniques; storage; processing; and shipping Most obvious was old. hulking and rusting fruit processing equipment - left over from the Soviet days. All had a part to play in a dramatic 'land to jar" drop in quality

There was a great deal of advice to farmers and processors on new varieties. how to avoid consistently early frost damage. pruning techniques. harvesting

There also were several meetings with government officials The MEDA members shared their stories and explained what it takes to do business in a free market econo -

"It is important that the business pay taxes and be transparent in its management to all." said tour member Marty Friesen. manager of a machining company in Manitoba. "It is also important that government play its role in a predictable and fair manner This type of partnership between private business and government is key to our success "

These were unusual words in the Tajik setting where there is huge mistrust between business and government.

Friesen went on to point out his company's philosophy of business and moral code. For many of his listeners this was a new way to look at business behavior.

The tour underlined the importance of direct contact. It was one thing to tell people what it takes to meet market demands. but another for seasoned businesspersons to share experiences.

One local cannery owner said. 'We could not have dreamed even a few years ago of the chance for such an exchange. Three years ago I would not have believed that we would be sitting at a table with businesspeople from Canada and the U.S .• learning and seeing what we need to do to be more successful. " - Ed Epp for MEDA news service

MEDA members John Janzen and Eugene Enns examine grapes being dried into raisins in the attic of a Tajikistan home

Leaders are madenot born-at MBBS

Seminary emphasizes Chri st ian lead ership development

Before immigrating to Canada. Michelle Huen was an anti-corruption investigator in Hong Kong. John Mair earned a master's degree in business administration from Wilfred Laurier University. in his hometown of Waterloo. Onto Cecilia Lau is a nurse in Vancouver. BC. working with children who have cancer.

Huen. Mair and Lau now find that their life paths. which seem to be miles apart. have intersected Through classroom and internship experiences at MB Biblical Seminary's campus in Langley. BC. these three students with vastly different experiences and vocational goals are learning what it means to be a Christian leader.

accompanying them on their journey. Both have experienced the challenges of being a leader: Berg was president of Bethany College in Hepburn. Sask.• and taught there a total of 22 years. while Toews was a pastor for 1$ years. As they investigate Scripture passages. explore leadership theories and share their stories. Berg and Toews are helping students like Huen Mair and Lau grow into effective and healthy leaders

MBBS has campuses in Fresno Calif.; Winnipeg. Man.; and Langley At its Langley campus MBBS is a member of the Associated Canadian Theological Schools. a consortium of six seminaries.

When Toews came to ACTS in 2002. the leadership courses were in need of rebuilding Barry Pallfreyman. the professor who had designed many of the courses had passed away unexpectedly of cancer 18 months prior to Toews' arrival. and Toews was asked to redesign the CLD program for greater impact He molded the program around a combination of classroom education and mentoring in hands-on ministry.

As the courses were re-worked. the name of the leadership stream was changed from Church Leadership Development to Christian Leadership Development. The change reflects an understanding that Christians play a leadership role beyond the walls of the church as they are involved in para-church ministries. mission work. chaplaincy and careers in the marketplace.

"Long before the church establishes a single program or church-based ministry. its people are out and about in society- working. serving. learning. leading." says Toews '1\5 part of the creation mandate. God's peo-

Each affinity group is given a faculty

pIe have an obligation to give leadership to ing component. In these courses, students themselves and the situations in which God are formed into affinity groups based on has placed them. Our hope in CLD is that their current or anticipated vocation, such as our students will see themselves as leaders lead pastors, youth pastors, chaplains and contributing greatly to the significant work those in para-church ministries. God wants done in our world."

Today, the Christian Leadership member who mentors the group. Meetings Development courses reflect the breadth of of the groups occur face-to-face (or by teleissues involved in development as a conference call with the group for those livChristian leader. Topics include Christian ing outside the area) and in online chatleadership foundations; personal dimensions rooms. of leadership development; power, change

Mentoring also happens on an individand conflict; mentoring, team building and ual level. While enrolled in each CLD equipping; values, vision and strategic plan- course, students commit to an eight-hour ning; and a multicultural leadership per week internship in which they will get encounter experience. one hour per week of mentoring from, as

Each course may include teaching by Toews says, "someone they'd like to be." several different faculty members, plus an As part of the mentoring program, assortment of people who serve as leaders Toews and a colleague have developed a beyond the seminaty walls. The diversity of web site, at www .mentorwise.ca. The site input and activities is intentional. "We don't provides tools for the students' mentors, so want just one person's perspective," says that the relationships can be as effective as different people add to the richness of the Toews says his commitment to mentorcourses." ing grows out of deep gratitude. "My life has

The ACTS consortium's multi-denom- been deeply shaped by the many women inational student body brings a variety of and men who took me seriously and who theological perspectives to classroom discus- prayed for me, modeled the way, challenged, sions. And because Christian Leadership and simply kept on loving me," he says "I Development courses are core requirements wouldn't be the person I am without the for students in the Master of Divinity and impact of their intentional mentoring in my Master of Christian Arts degrees, classmates development " come from, and are heading toward, a variety John Mair, Cecilia Lau and Michelle of vocations. One result of this diversity is Huen have all experienced growth through that students encounter a variety of issues their seminary experiences, and in the leadand perspectives from classmates.

Berg comments on the implications of

this diversity: 'l\s leadership concepts are discussed in class, an individual from a certain denomination or ethnic group could struggle with the implications of that understanding in their situation. For instance, the notions of servant leadership and multiplicity of leaders reflected in the New Testament are difficult to implement in some contexts. There is enlivened discussion about the concepts, but the environment of ACTS is such that all opinions and perspectives are respected."

Toews recognizes that classroom learning is only one piece of a successful education. Mentoring is a significant element of the leadership program, with four of the six CLD courses including a mentor-

ership courses in particular.

Lau says her greatest driving force is learning to provide effective spiritual care in her vocation as a nurse "I love my job," she says. "It's a position of honor to be part of children's lives for a while."

As she has studied Christian Leadership Development, Lau says she has learned more about calling, servant leadership and marketplace ministry ''The courses are a foundation. They provide me with the core values of the Christian leader and how to be a proper witness."

During his MBA studies in Ontario, Mair was exposed to secular leadership theories and models. At seminary, familiar models are being given Christian application. 'Tm coming to understand what the differences are between Christian and secular leadership," he says . "I hope it will help me develop into a Christian leader, to be more effective in leadership in the local church."

Huen's goal is to minister as a Christian education coordinator at her home congregation, Vancouver Chinese MB Church. 'Tve been serving since 1997 in Sunday school, on the fellowship committee and in other roles," she says "But I never had a full grasp of what Christian leadership was about. The Christian Leadership Development course shifted my thinking, to seeing leadership as more people-oriented, as leading people toward God." - Brad Thiessen for MBBS

"MB Biblical Seminary equipped us to deeply process our faith and gifts , which equipped us to join God's mission of re conciliation in counseling and ministry "

-

J eanine Yoder, ProjeJsor of Biblical

&

ReligioUJ Studies, Frnno Pacific Uni versity; and Greg Yoder, Licemed Marriag e Fttmily Therapist

Dwayne's journey

Canad ian pastor's blog

co n t i n u es his ministry

iIIIiIII

Ihate it! I can 't stand it! I'm nearly going crazy here! For 12 years I've been pastoring! That's what I am - a pastor. It's my gift, my heart, my passion, my identity. And I love doing it! I'd do it all my life It's my calling in life. Now I'm on a medical leave ' Stop pastoring: they said. You can't just tum that off. A pastor's heart is not like a tap "

Dwayne Harms, a 37-year-old Mennonite Brethren pastor, husband and father of two from Saskatoon, Sask , didn't hide his frustration ove r the malignant cancer that took him away from his duties as he wrote about his struggle with cancer.

Unable to preach during his medical leave and frustrated by his lack of ability to contribute to his community, Harms needed a way to keep in touch with his congregation, family and friends. He had intended to post his daily thoughts and inspirational messages on his church's Web page but his illness sidelined that project until he started a weblog. an easy to update online diary, from home.

Whereas most blogs focus on the daily ruminations and thoughts from a predominantly youthful point of view and discuss relationships, workplace problems and everyday annoyances, Harms' blog, "Dwayne's Journey, " was going to be different. Instead, he would talk candidly about an intense personal struggle, gaining readership from across the globe.

On June 21, 2005 , a day after he had told his young children, Ashlynn and Tyler, Harms posted his first message , announcing to the world that he was diagnosed with renal cancer, which was in its later stages He believed he would die soon but wanted to share his experience with whoever cared to take it in, inviting people to follow his fight with the illness.

Harms' blog. like most, is equipped with technology that allows readers to leave comments on posts Through this interactive process, Harms began receiving numerous comments about his writings As well, other bloggers began to spread the word on Harms' story. Word quickly spread about his writing and soon he had a large following of readers, who, for the final post, left an astounding 113 comments, or 64 printed pages.

Cod hrings us 10 ph1CCS in our lives where hc " de serts" 1 \ placc of suffcring and pain. A place of humiliation and A place of and sadness. There we are alonc. And what do I do? I Cf\ ' out! "God, where Jrc you?" Exactly like the pS;'11misl (Ps. 102: r'-2) J -h 200S

"I was shocked," says Janet Hanns, Dwayne's wife. " He had no idea that his blog would touch as many people as it did He thought a few friends and family would log on He never wanted to make it about the numbers but we were hearing from people as far away as Japan, Saudi Arabia, Bolivia and Taiwan."

Born in 1967 in Killarney, Man , Hanns never set out to be a pastor. After several years as a welder, he felt there was a greater purpose to his life and started a pastoralresearchship.

According to Janet, however, he was a pastor long before he had a church. His coworkers jokingly referred to him as " Pastor Dwayne" before he entertained thoughts of entering the ministry.

After a short assignment at a church in Midale, Sask., Harms soon moved to Living Hope Church, a daughter church in Saskatoon's north end of West Portal MB Church. It was this church where he thrived before falling ill in June.

Starting a blog was a natural extension of Dwayne's open personality and a perfect place for him to relay his thoughts on his leave, says longtime family friend Linda Kasdorf.

"He was a masterful communicator; he knew something about everything. His ability to communicate, both one on one and in a group, was amazing. He would always have serious life conversations and you would always come away with something to think about," Kasdorf says. His ability to communicate, coupled with the authenticity of his blog posts, is what drew people to his site and kept them coming back to read more.

Posting up to three times a day in the first month after starting the blog, Hanns spoke openly and honestly about how he and his family dealt with his cancer battle On top of updating readers on his physical condition, he often spoke about how his illness affected his children, the people around him, and his emergent relationship

with God. Expressing his raw emotions, confusion, desperation and faith and not hiding behind the false impressions, Hanns was open and honest to his readers about his doubts and fears.

"Monday was the darkest day of my life. How do you tell your children that you have cancer?" Harms posted June 22 ' There's no books for that. No one teaches you how We knew we had to. We cried. 'How, God, do you tell your children?' We cried some more."

Posts like these led to more and more comments, where friends, family and strangers from across the world left prayers, reflections and supportive messages for the Hanns family.

The average blogger receives less

than one comment per entry A week into his writing , Dwayne was getting between 20 and 30 messages per post It was this remarkable response that led other bloggers to spread the word about "Dwayne's Journey" through links and e-mails.

However, as the popularity of the blog grew, Dwayne's condition worsened, and he soon entered Royal University Hospital for surgery. The resilient and purposive preacher entered his final post ftom a laptop on his hospital bed. Weakened after surgery, he was unable to continue typing.

Saddened but hopeful, Janet decided that the blog had to continue so people could still follow her husband's story, which they had become accustomed to reading daily. Encouraging her children to

James Nikkel DMI Direc/or

1 made a spiritual commitment today that released me from 111\' fears. It took all of this just to get me there. But I it. I gave up my life. 1 had been needing to S..lY Cod. ''I'll give you my Hfe" for ;] ]ong time. But 1 c(;u]on't 00 it. 1 was clinging to that last thing. I could face a number of challenges that might he put in front of me. :.lS long I diun 't h:.lVe to give up my life. As long as I woulu be he;;11cd. But now I sensed God calling me to trust him with everything. life. And now that I have. the tear has nothi;1g 10 '-hang on to. \Vhat can you tear when you are ready to give up your Hfe? - luly 20 • 200S

still go to camp despite their father's worsening condition, Janet made the decision to take over Harms' blogging duties.

"I felt like his story needed to be told and he c()l.ddn't do it anymore," says Janet. "I wanted to carry that on for him even though I would not have the same insight. If I hadn't continued, people that were reading would have said 'what happened: The story needed to have an ending."

Eventually Harms' illness left him unable to read the comments left on his blog. Janet knew how much people's comments inspired and strengthened Harms and started to print off selections from the comments section to read to her ailing husband from beside his hospital bed.

Harms was still enjoying the comments Aug. II through the haze of pain and medication. Janet sat at his side reading a few comments at a time so the couple could savour the thoughts and prayers of the many friends they made near and far.

At 7:30 the next morning, Harms passed away from adrenal cortical cancer, a rare form of the disease affecting less than one in a million people. There was only one more post left for Janet to make.

After some tearful contemplation , Janet finalized her words and

announced Dwayne's passing and the funeral arrangements on the blog. She thanked readers and called for them to post their own personal stories of Dwayne . Reflections and condolences poured into the comments sectien after the final pest.

"I knew that Dwayne's passing would be the end of the blog. The journey ended for him; there wasn't really anything to add," says Janet.

Weeks after Harms' death the comments were still coming in Thus far, "Dwayne's Journey," a 56 day journal, contains 56 posts, over 500 comments and well over 50,000 words, all documenting a period in a life which had an impact on countless people.

'''The blog tells Dwayne's story. Our family has lost so, so much, we are eager to take hold of anything we can get to keep Dwayne's legacy intact. For the kids, the writing on the blogs and copies of sermons can have an influence on their lives as they grow. It feels good to know that someone you cared about so deeply was cared about by others.

"His DNA is in his church, his children, in his friends and in me because he has made an impact. In a way, the blog ensures that Dwayne's story will continue to be told."

This article by Jeremy Warren and David Hutton first appeared in the Saskatoon, Sask., Star Phoenix. This edited version was first published by the MB Herald, the Canadian Conference English -language publication.

the Neighborhood You Remember

Step back in time at Palm Village to the warmth of the neighborhoods of yesterday you remember so well.

Our residents look out for each other, much like it was years ago, when the friends next door cared deeply about your well being.

You'll love living in the historicallyrich city of Reedley, where proud citizens walk tree-lined streets at a pace that will remind you of the places where you grew up.

Enjoy life as it was meant to be lived ••• at Palm Vi"age!

New snow and the New Year

Personal growth is goal for 2006

Wlifestyle, social structures, the environment, our worldview and how we should live . I am challenged by Eknath Eswaran who writes, "Lasting change happens

at a surprise I had this moming when I woke when people see for themselves that a different way of up to several inches of snow on the ground! We life is more fulfilling than their present one." have had unseasonably warm weather this past

Last January I listened to a program designed to month, even setting a few all-time high temperature help me get o rganized around the house, a common records . Yesterday it was no- jacket-needed weather and challenge at the starr of a new year. I still remember the now today everything is white and freezing . The snow is speaker's statement, " Shop at home for containers you piled several inches high on the branches of the trees, need before you go out and buy more You are trying to shrubs and anything else that is out there It looks as reduce clutter, not increase it." It worked for me last year though a master sculptor has plopped globs of white and this year I want to continue my efforts to de -clutter everywhere. and downsize my stuff. It feels really good to have less

With my coffee and carrot- raisin -coconut-pecan stuff around rather than more. quick bread, I went into the dining room where I could

My body is a gift from God. The Bible says that I ___ -see-the.snow.gent1¥-OOming..down and settling-on the puffs'--___ ha'Je been L39 :14and piles already there I lit some candles, put on an old- KJV). Furrhermore, I am told that it is the "temple of time hymns music CD and had a time of worship God" (I Cor 3:16 KJV). When everything is working as

Soon the birds starred appearing at our feeders just it should, I don't really pay much attention to my body. outside the dining room windows . The scene expanded as It's when things go wrong that I realize how intricate goldfinches flew to the feeder perches, pushed off the and delicate the various systems of the body are. snow and pecked at the seeds through some narrow slits

This means I need to take better care of it. I need to in the plastic tubes. I watched as a red-breasted finch flew feed it properly, exercise and get plenty of rest. So this into a snow-decked bush nearby. His red -brushed feath- year I'm going to do a better job of keeping up with exerers were in vivid contrast to the frosty white snow. The cising as I should When the weather is good I love to slate-colored juncos added just the right balance to the walk through our local zoo grounds. During the growscene. God gave me this palate of colors to enjoy. ing season our yard and garden provide lots of opponu-

As I enjoyed the new snow, I reflected on the starr of nities for good physical activity When the weather is the New Year Last year was a good year and I want this bad our indoor treadmill makes more sense year to be even better. This is to be a year of furrher per- I will continue baking our bread as often as I can sonal growth and I have chosen to work through the book The aroma of fresh baked bread is wonderful and the Simpler Living, taste is better than anything I can buy in the store. A Compassionate Life, bread machine makes yeast breads so easy. I dump all edited by Michael the ingredients into the bucket and let the machine do Schut. the work of mixing, kneading and rising. Then I take the

This book com- dough out and put it into pans and bake it. This system piles a number of works just as well for cinnamon rolls , zwieback and Christian writers pizza crusts. perspectives on how This is just the beginning. As this to have the abundant year progresses I want to capitalize on all , life Jesus promised that God has already given me: the beauhis followers These ty that surrounds me in his creation, my ..-. writers contend that reasonably good health and the opponuvoluntary simplicity is an imporrant component of and nities he will give me to serve him. My pathway to this life. They focus our thoughts inward and challenge will be how to translate this challenge our spiritual attitudes toward time, money, into everyday living as life happens .

Writing the story of your life

Prepare now for autobiographical writing projects

QI hear you've completed your memoirs. What was it like to write them and how would you direct others who may want to do similarly? (California)

AJe three-year project ended with the publication in December of My Lines Have Fallen in Pleasant laces . The title comes from Psalm 16 :6 that ends with the words, "I have a goodly heritage. "

My primary audience, as I began writing, was my family. I wanted my children and grandchildren to glimpse something of my love for the church and its mission It did not take long to realize, however, that I was writing for myself. I became deeply grateful not only for my "goodly heritage" but for the scores of people who were instrumental inJQrmil1g tD¥lif.e and .wQrk. _

Where do you go for resources when writing your life story? I have not been a good record keeper nor do I have a keen memory for details in the past. Twice in my teens I began journaling in a five-year diary. Neither lasted more than 13 months

My major initial resource was a series of diaries written by my parents. My sister and I knew that our parents had kept some diaries, stored for many years in the unused shower room in the retirement center where our mother lived for 35 years A few years ago I asked my sister to rescue them , but neither of us read any of them until I began writing

What I found was amazing. For 40 years (1924-1964) there was a daily record of their lives and ours. Every day's weather, family activities and even the number of eggs laid by our hens were reported. For the first 18 years of my own marriage, the activities of my family often were recorded.

A scrapbook I had compiled during my junior year in high school when I applied for a State Fanner degree in Future Fanners of America was helpful. Microfilms from my hometown weekly newspaper added to my story. A photographic history I had prepared for my high school

Have a question about a Bible passage, doctrine, conference policy or other spiritual issue? Send your question to "Inquiring Minds," Marvin Hein, 3036 East Magill Avenue, Fresno , CA 93710 or e-maIl Marvin at marvinhein@sbcglobal.net.

graduating class's 60th anniversary provided more information. A short history I wrote of the Civilian Public Service camp in Lincoln, Neb., during World War II told about my draft experience.

How would I research my vocational life as a pastor? I traveled to Kansas several times and read every Hillsboro MB Church bulletin for 24 years For that same time span 1 read all church council, church business meetings, trustee and pulpit commirtee minutes, as well as Southern District Conference Youth Committee minutes . All but the bulletins were stored in the Tabor College Center for MB Studies . I researched all minutes of the United States and General Conference boards on which I served I tried to do likewise at the North Fresno MB Church , but to my chagrin, and that of church officials, 1learned that many of th e records had been dumped In the trash, apparently because they required too much cabinet storage space.

What did I learn in the process of writing one's memoirs? I found that writing about yourself is awkward So I wrote about my foibles as well as apparent successes 1finally took the position espoused by Yogi Berra or someone of his ilk who said, "If it really happened, it ain't braggin'."

I learned that it was a good thing that "bum-out" was not in our language 50 years ago I preached about 2,000 sennons, taught more than 2,000 Sunday school and midweek Bible classes, married 150 couples, officiated and preached at 250 funerals and baptized about 350 people.

I learned that people should journal. 1learned that families should interview their parents and grandparents before they lose their memories or pass from this life.

I learned that local churches should store their records in our conference archives. I learned that it can be fun scrounging around in your past. I think I learned that if ,1 could do it, almost anyone can. I learned that you shouldn t wait too long.

You are never too young to begin writing your life story. I learned the truth of Patti Davis' words : "We remember so that we can go forward with a sense of where we 've come from. We return to the places of our childhood because, when enough years have passed we understand that we really never left And because we know that to walk through the rest of our days, we have to linger among the days that are gone . We have to fall in love with them in all the ways we didn 't when we were young, and weave the rest of our lives around them. "

BAPTISM/MEMBERSHIP

CloVl ' S Call'f (C II C 'tyl R' h

Brandt er . d b J 8

bid on the donated items

Rapid City, SO (Bible Fellowshipl-Several members , • 0 ege ommunl - IC ard and Diane Ferndale, Wash. (Good Newsl - The church is offer-

from a short - te r m miss ion team to Thailand shared thel'r w e receIve as mem ers an. ing a 10-week course called "Christianity Explored," Wichl'ta Kan (FI'rstl H d J W'll experience during worsh ip Dec. 18 The team included , • - arry an amce I ems were designed to help participants exp lore and learn welcomed as members in December about the Christian faith The co urse began in members from Bible Fellowship, Corn (Dkla.l MB Huron, SO (Bethesdal - Don and Jule Carrington were January Church and Harvey (NDl MB Church received as members Nov 27.

Bakersfield, Calif (Laurelglenl-Volun teers WORSHIP Weatherford, Okla. (Pine Acresl - Melvin, Blane and Jay launched a weekly after-school cente r for neighborWhitson were baptized Nov 13. hood youth in January. The program, S.A.Y Yes! was held Dec. 18 This is an annual event for those who

FELLOWSHIP Center for Youth Development, helps at -risk ch ildren have lost loved ones This year's memorial included

Papillion, Neb. (Rolling Hillsl-The mayor and several learn basic intellectual, spi ri tual and social skills lighting candles and decorat ing a tree with ornaments community leaders were scheduled to be present Dec The lead team completed a seven -week training representing loved ones The church's Christmas Eve 18 to celebrate the new name of the church: Shadow preparation course Volunteers from the church help service included an outdoor candlelighting to represent Lake Community Church with snacks, crafts, mentoring and instruction. the church 's desi re to reach out to the neighborhood Reedley, Calif.-Starting Jan 15, the church empha- Garden City, Kan. (Garden Valleyl- The kid 's choir Clovis, Calif. (College Communityl-A Christmas Service sized fellowship through "50 Days of Fellowship:' The traveled to Wichita, Kan., Dec 21 - 22 for a missions of Mourning for those who have experienced loss during focus included celebrations and opportunities to "try experience They sang at Lighthouse Community the past year was held Dec 18 or-dsmatrgrolutT:-- Calif. (Nor1h Fresnol-AdYeIlt wOLsbip illcluded Rapid City, SO (Bible Fellowshipl - Members of the con- Bakersfield, CaUf. (Laurelglenl-Church members a ''WalL Art Project. " Families and individuals -chOse '-' gregation are encouraged to become better acquainted donated new stuffed animals for seniors in area care "frames" on the wall to creative ly express gratitude for through a series of desserts, called "Sweet Fellowship, " facilities. The anima ls were distributed Christmas the birth of Jesus Ideas included written messages, during January, February and March Groups of three morning A church ministry called "Prayers and photos or objects from home families take turns hosting dessert once each during the Squares" invites the congregation to pray for specif- Yale, SO (Bethell-Several worship services during three-month period ic members in need by stopping by a quilt set up in Advent centered on color themes, such as green (the Wichita, Kan. (Firstl-An indoor "winter picnic" was the lobby as they exit the service to tie a knot in the color of lifel, red (sacrificel, violet (royaltyl, blue (eternischeduled for Jan. 27. Fami l ies were invited to bring a quilt and say a silent prayer. tyl and white (purity!. picnic basket and wear black or dark - colored clothing Bakersfield, Calif. (Heritage Biblel- The church Kingsburg, Calif. - The church presented "Bethlehem for the event, which included an indoor snowball hosted a Country Christmas Festival Dec 10 The Experience," a live walk - through nativity with extensive fight....The church staff hosted a reception Jan. 8 to free event was an outreach to the community and costuming and props, Dec 19-20. the congregation and thank them for their support included a pancake breakfast, crafts, cookie decorat - Freeman, SO (SalemI-Members were invited to submit In the past year. ing, Christmas carols, gingerbread houses and poems, prose, testimonies. handicrafts and pictures

Visalia, CaUf. (Neighborhoodl - In late December, the pinewood derby building. expressing what Christmas means to them. The church's Grief Ministry invited members to decorate a Clovis, Calif. (College Communityl-Church mem- responses were incorporated into the Dec. 25 service tree with ornaments in memory of loved ones who had bers contributed to needs in Fresno, Calif., Congo Wichita, Kan. (Firstl-Piano students from first grade died Ornaments could be photos or symbolic objects, or and Central America through their Global Christmas through high school were invited to prepare and playa members could write messages on blank paper orna- Gift Market. Given were funds for: 39 blankets for religious Christmas piano piece during the prelude for ments Central America hurricane victims, 14 sewing the Christmas Eve service Dec. 24.

Oinuba, Calif.-Church members were encouraged to machines, 30 resource library books for MB schools Blaine, Wash. (Birch Bayl - The church hosted a comsign up in teams for bowling on New Year's Eve. in Congo, three kitchen startup kits for recent immi - bined worship service Dec 4 with Community Bible Refreshments, sharing and singing at Palm Village grants in Fresno and gently used children's clothes Fellowship (Bellinghaml and Good News Fellowship Retirment Center was also planned for New Year's Eve for needy children in the community (Ferndalel A light meal and fellowship followed the The Deacons invited all seniors, widows and widowers to Visalia, Calif (Neighborhoodl- The church was service. a Christmas dinner Dec 6 transformed into a dinner theater for performances Ferndale, Wash (Good Newsl-One of the regular feaHarvey, NO-Short-term missionaries Jason and of "A Time for Joy" Dec. 9- 11 Members were tures of the church 's worship is a prayer ministry. Quincey Faul(ThailandJ, Curtis Lautt and Sam and Amy encouraged to invite friends and family to the musi - Designated members are available at the close of the Ongstad (Costa Rical were the guests of honor at a for- cal. Tickets included either a catered dinner or service to pray with those who have personal or spiritumal Christmas banquet Dec 4. dessert. al needs Freeman, SO (SalemI-Church women brought pumpkin pIe for a monthly birthday party at a local senior care center

MINISTRY

Buhler, Kan.-Church women organized a "clutter auction " Jan 23 Participants brought one or two next-tonew items to auction off and gave a small financial donation for missions They received "money" with which to

PROCLAMATION

Bakersfield, Calif. (Heritagel- The church hosted a one - day seminar Jan 21 on "Recovering from Loss. Crisis and Trauma" by well-known author and counselor Dr H Norman Wright. Clovis, Calif. (College Communityl-Sam and Annette Sarkissian, church planters at The Grove, Fresno, Calif., were guest speakers Jan 1

YOUTH

Fairview, Okla.- Once a month, youth have a "RAK Night," during which they focus on doing "random acts of kindness" in their community Some of the recent acts of kindness have been sorting clothes and food at a local outreach center, moving appliances, helping with yard work, reading and visiting at a senior center and making and delivering gifts of appreciation to church leaders

DEATHS

BULLER, GENEIVE MAURINE, Enid, Okla , a member of Enid MB Church , was born March 29, 1953, in Enid to William and Marine Pankratz Buller and died Nov 20, 2005, at the age of 52 She is survived by her parents; one brother, James and wife Beverly; one sister, Loretta and husband Jerry Janzen; three nieces, four greatnephews and one great -niece.

BURNSI DE, KIRK C. , Enid Okla , a member of Enid MB Church, was born Nov 26, 1966, at Buffalo, Okla ., to James and Shirley Quakenbush Burnside, and died Dec. 2, 2005, at the age of 39 On June 15, 1996, he married Tisha Mussman Jo nes, who survives He is also survived by his parents; three sons, Austin Taylor Jones, Dillon Parker Jones, and Zachary Lane Burnside; and one brother, Ke ith and wife Cindy Burnside of Hesston, Kan CLODFELTER, WALTER, Enid , Okla , a member of Enid MB Church , was born Sept 8, 1921, near Covington , Okla , to Jean and Nina Sharp Clodfelter and died Sept. 29, 2005, at the age of 84. On Nov 6, 1948, he married Evelyn Arlene Kroeker, who survives He is also survived by two daughters, Vi ckie and husband Greg Casey of Plano, Texas, and Cindy and husband Mark Gragert of Mandeville, La ; one sister, Wilma Jean and husband Melvin McKee of Disney, Okla ., and four grandch ildren

-.OAI:tt.

1918, in Garden City, Kan , to Peter H and Lena Wiebe and died Dec 18, 2005, at the age of 87 She married Carl B Dahl, who survives. She is also survived by one brother, Allen and wife Linda; one siste r-in -law, Ruby Wiebe Warkentin ; two nieces, Beverly Christman and Jeanette Cook ; one nephew, Bob Wiebe; two greatnephews, one great -niece and one great-great niece.

FLAMING, MARIE, Fairview, Okla , a member of Fairview MB Church, was born Dec. 17, 1906, in Beaver County, Okla , to John and Helen Heinrichs Berg and died Dec. 23, 2005, at the age of 99 On Dec. 5, 1926, she married Sam Flam ing, who predeceased her in 1984. She is survived by four sons, Bernard and Lea Ann of Ponca City, Okla , Arlya and wife Virginia of Owasso, Okla , Royce and wife Wilda of Cherokee, Okla., and Dennis and wife Elaine of Fairview; one daughter, Kleta Wallis of Enid, Okla ; 16 grandchildren, two step-grandchildren, 22 great -grandchildren, five step-great-grandchildren and three great -great -grandchildren

GAEDE, HARVEY, Bakersfield, Calif., a charter member of Laurelglen Bible Church, Bakersfield, was born Aug. 16, 1914, in Medford, Okla , to Henry and Katherine Gaede and died Dec. 20, 2005, at the age of 91. In 1936, he married Fern Wendland, who survives He is also survived by one son, Ken and wife Joanne of Fresno, Calif ; one brother, Harold of Beverly Hills, Calif.; one sister, Hulda of Wichita , Kan , and two grandchildren

GOERTZEN, DAN E., Buhler, Kan., a member of Buhler IKan 1 MB Church, was born Oct. 10, 1913, in Beaver County, Okla ., to Jacob H. and Anna Schierling Goertzen and died Nov 22, 2005, at the age of 92 On March 14, 1945, he married Lynda Klassen, who survives He is also survived by two sons, Daniel of Aurora, Colo , and David and wife Marilyn of Colorado Springs, Colo ; one daughter, Ruth and husband Tim Tiffany of San Diego, Calif ; two brothers, Bill of Shafter, Calif , and Henry of Sutherlin, Ore ; two sisters, Martha Schmidt of

Bakersfield, Ca lif , and Esther Smith of Ch ino, Calif ; five grandchildren and seven great -grandchildren

JOST, JAKE, Reedley, Calif , a member of Reedley MB Church, was born May 26, 1921 , at Herbert, Sask , to David and Tina Prieb Jost and died Dec 7, 2005, at the age of 84 On Aug 6, 1948, he married Rosella Wiens, who predeceased him Sept. 21, 1988. He is survived by four sons, Bob and wife Betsy of Fresno, Calif , Norm and wife Vicki of Bellingham, Wash ., Larry and wife Karen of Dinuba, Calif., and Ed and wife Karen of Visalia, Calif. ; one brother, David ; 10 grandchildren and two great -grandch ildren

KARBER, BERNICE J , Fairview, Okla , a member of Fairview MB Church , was born July 10, 1919, near Hillsboro, Kan , to Gerhard and Anna Loewen Suderman and died Dec. 16,2005, at the age of 86

ter, Margie Flaming of Weatherford; seven grandchildren and three great -grandchildren.

WALLS, JOHN EDWARD, Dinuba, Calif., was born April 16, 1950, and died Nov. 27, 2005, at the age of 55 He is survived by his wife of 34 years, Frieda ; his parents, Dick and Ruth Walls of Selma, Calif ; two siblings, Carolyn and Ray Cooper of Steens, Miss., and Randy and Janet Flowers of Hanford, Calif ; two sons, Brian and wife Crystal of Kingsburg, Calif. , and Nathan of Long Beach, Calif. ; and one daughter, Julianne of Reedley, Calif

On July 27, 1941, she married Albert Karber, who ••

predeceased her. She is survived by one son, Curtis Lead Pastor: The Buhler MB Church in Buhler, Kan , is and wife Debbie of Fairview; one daughter, Elaine looking for a lead pastor to be part of our four person and husband John Franz of Buhler, Kan .; one broth - pastoral team . We are an active, healthy, 500-member er, Eli Suderman of Hillsboro; one sister, Irene small town church that believes Jesus Christ is Lord of Siebel of Hillsboro; six grandchildren and six great- our lives Buhler MB is committed to being a sending grandchildren church to the pastorate and missions and feels called to NICKEL, LILLIAN VERNICE, Fairview, Okla , was fulfill our Christ -centered purpose in the world. born Aug 12, 1920, in Goultry, Okla , to Cornelius nnlir:o ntu bould. bm aILUflde.r:sta.ndi ng and belief in = T: Ana baptist theology, pre era y with five yea rs expen :-' the age of 85. On Sept. 22, 1946, she married Frank ence in a lead or associate pastor position in a multiple Nickel, who predeceased her She is survived by one staff setting We are looking for a man with demonstratson , Galen Frank and wife Vickie of Mannford, Okla ; ed gifts for leading, preaching, teach ing, caring, commuone daughter, Glennis and husband Mike Hoffman of nicating, developing strong staff, and vision for the Enid, Okla.; two brothers, Leslie V Unruh and wife future Resumes may be sent to the Search Committee Ann of Waynoka, Okla , and Kenneth L. Unruh and at Buhler M B Church, 415 N West Street, Buhler, KS wife Virginia of Lahoma, Okla ; four grandchildren 67522 or e-mailed to infolabuhlermb org 13/121 and three great-grandchildren

SCHAFER, ERNESTT., Bismarck, NO, was born Nov 18, 1916, near McClusky, NO to George W and Johanna Schock Schafer and died Nov 27, 2005, at the age of 89 On July 16, 1951 , he married Elma A. Hooge, who survives. He is also survived by one son, David of Bismarck; one daughter, Lynn and husband Bob Schindler of Mandan, NO; one brother, John P of Bismarck ; one sister, Elsie and husband Ernie Friesen of Wichita, Kan., and one granddaughte r.

SUDERMAN, LESLIE W., Hillsboro, Kan , a member of Ebenfeld MB Church, Hillsboro, was born Aug 28, 1922, at Hillsboro to Edward and Martha Seibel Suderman and died Dec. 11, 2005, at the age of 83.

On April 18, 1946, he married Rubena Franz, who survives He is also survived by one daughter, Lola and husband Lyle Unruh of Hillsboro; two sisters, Adena Schmidt of Fresno, Calif , and Hilda and husband Ira Hein of Hillsboro; one sister-in-law Ruby Suderman of Hillsboro; one brother-in-law Jim Helling of Halstead, Kan , and one granddaughter TH IESS EN , ABE CURT, Corn, Okla , was born Jan 26, 1930, at Colony, Okla , to Lizzie Hoock and Peter B Thiessen and died Nov 25, 2005, at the age of 75.

On Nov. 9, 1956, he married Kathrine Hornsby, who survives He is also survived by three sons, Mark and wife Donita of Corn, Olen and wife Cherie of Corn, and Justin and wife Christina of Forestville, Calif ; one daughter, Laura of Hydro, Okla ; one brother, Paul and wife Delores of Weatherford , Okla. ; one sis-

2006 for pOSitions in psychology, Bible, secondary teacher education , athletic training program director and sociology/social work Doctorates preferred Passion for mentoring and advising undergraduate majors. Must affirm Tabor distinctives as an Anabaptist evangelical Christian college and articulate personal Christian commitment Complete position listings at http://www tabor edu Send a letter of interest to Dr. Lawrence Ressler, VP of Academics, Tabor College, 400 S Jefferson, Hillsboro, KS 67063. 12/21

new

school curriculum , Gather 'Round : Hearing & Sha r ing God 's Good News, coming soon. Gather 'Round includes materials for preschool through high school. as well as year-round multiage resources and a class for parents and caregivers All groups study the same Bible text at the same time Bible outlines, free sample sessions, and more at www.gatherround ,org

11m ' h C ' l

The Balko Okla MB Church Will ost a entenOia Celebration Sunday, April 30, 2006, beg inning at 9:00 a m and followed by lunch Former members and friends are invited to attend and share photographs and memories as we praise God for what he has done, what he is doing and what he will do

A little goes a long way (sometimes)

There are times when modest efforts deliver big payoffs

somewhat of a skeptic (please ignore my wife's background laughter regarding "somewhat"), I don't readily believe many of he maxims that are generally regarded as truth

For example, I don't buy the oft-repeated statement that quality

On the subject of well-being, I also learned recently that a little deep breathing goes a long way. During work-related training about stress, a presenter talked about simple techniques of deep breathing that can relieve anxiety and bring clearer thinking. At first I was a little skeptical about this (of course). But the more I listened, the more it made sense.

Deskbound types like me tend to sit hunched over a computer, taking shallow breaths into the upper part of the lungs. But healthy, energizing breathing involves complete filling of the lungs and thorough inhaling and exhaling That this eases time is more important than quantity time. In my view, quantity time is a crucial component of quality time. Sure, you can experience quick connections and meaningful [J A little bit of critici';m ... goes a long way towaro a conlidence ano sell-won-h. A little bit 01 by con<l oent

moments in the rush of life. But usually these are possible only when longeLtenn effort has beeninvested in a relationsh ip.-Often-the.:quali= -ty time" mantra is just an excuse for those who don't want to put in quantity time., . " .

On a similar note, I ve never been sold on the saymg a httle goes a long way." Does it really? To me that can sound like another justification for giving or trying or getting involved only a little bit, rather than a whole lot.

However, there are times when a little really does go a long way. A little bit of criticism, for instance, goes a long way toward destroying a person's confidence and selfworth. A little bit of praise, by contrast, hardly makes a dent in the discouraged person's outlook I've heard it takes 10 instances of encouragement to offset one insult.

Well, I'm just a ray of sunshine, aren't I? Let's lighten up and move on to what I really want to say: that lately I've had second thoughts about "a little goes a long way." Sometimes it's true. And I mean that in a goodway.

Here are a few examples.

According to a study I read about, small amounts of exercise can produce big benefits. It was found that for sedentary overweight men and women with rising briskly just 12 miles a week "will significantly improve their aerobiC fitness and lower their risk of developing heart disease."

Interestingly, the study also looked at people who jogged 12 miles a week to see if intensified exercise increased fitness even more. The walkers experienced the same benefits as the joggers. Apparently it is true that a little goes a long way when it comes to exercise .

in the discoura ged persons outlook.

stress and sharpens the mine! is not a mere mental trick, but a physical reality. So my wife has been right all along, when I've staUea heaking out atiJ ut something; to say, '''Thke a deepbreath!"

It is also a well-known fact that a little money management goes a long way. Someone who invests a small amount of money per month can build a substantial savings account over time. Keeping to a simple budget works wonders to avoid overspending and getting in too much debt My wife and I haven't always followed these principles as well as we should have, but we've learned over time that a little effort in these areas can make a big difference.

The Bible too talks about a little going a long way. Jesus taught, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move" (Matt. 17:20). He also said, ''Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much" (Luke 16:10)

Here we need to be careful, however, because today there are many churchgoers who misinterpret "a little goes a long way" to mean, "a little is enough " And so they only give a tiny amount of time and energy and resources to God's work and call it good. .

The apostle Paul had an answer to that: "Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously" (2 Cor. 9:6).

Sometimes a little really does go a long way, but sometimes a little just isn't enough. Even that mustard seed of faith must be developed and nurtured so it will grow into "the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade" (Matt. 4:32) .

Monday through Friday marriage

Thoughts on Turkish Oelight, weekends and substance

are wonderful celebrations not only for the bride and groom but also their family, friends and church community. Within a month of each other, my husband and I have two nieces getting married this summer. One is the first grandchild to be married, an exciting event for our family. Both were very little when my husband and I were married, and we've enjoyed watching them become beautiful young women

'Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friends can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken'" (Eccles. 4:9-12).

I've decided th ..n m ..urieJ liie is best when it\ onJinary-like i\londJY through Frid ..1Y . It i"n't horing; it's gcnuinc',

''These verses don't say anything about marriage," say the nieces.

'Well, the writer doesn't talk directly about marriage, but the three reasons he gives for why companionship is a

'/\unt Connie, what advice do you have for my new life with Mr. good thing can be applied to any relationship including Wonderful?" Should our nieces ask this question-and I doubt they marriage. He says that we get more done when we work will - what would I say? together. That there is safety and strength in numbers. That fI tmI3Mg!i!e;;=: ,

probably say something like, "Being married is about Monday through warm-benefits both parties involved. This is substance, Friday, not the weekend. Like any good relationship, marriage should not Turkish Delight." be anchored by a steady string of the ordinary rather than bursts of the "Okay," say the nieces, "we get the part about Turkish exotic or exciting. And, in healthy relationships we do not solve prob- Delight, but what do you mean about being married lems with Turkish Delight." Monday through Friday? You're married for seven days a

''Turkish Delight?" say the nieces. "What's that?" week, not five."

I reply with a brief explanation.

''That's my point," I say. "For some people, weekends ''Turkish Delight is probably best known as the addictive confec- are the spice at the end of an otherwise boring week tion to which Edmund succumbs in C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch Saturday and Sunday are special and even exciting. and the Wardrobe. The sweet has its origin in the Ottoman Empire Monday through Friday is predictable and mundane. when a famous sultan was having a difficult time keeping his many wives content So he ordered his confectioner to create a unique sweet. The confectioner experimented with a combination of sugar syrup, various flavors, nuts and dried fruits held together with a gel until he achieved a most delectable sweet.

''The sultan was so pleased with the delicately scented and sugary sweet creation that he promoted the confectioner and served Lokum, as it is known in the East, at every feast in his court. The confection made its way to Britain in the 19th century thanks to a traveler who shipped home cases of the stuff under the name Turkish Delight. While not especially common in the U.S ., Turkish Delight, said to be the world's oldest confection, is still the sweet of choice in many Middle Eastern homes ."

''That's a nice story," the nieces say. "But what does Turkish Delight have to do with me and Mr. Wonderful?"

I elaborate ' 'The sultan thought that sweets would appease his wives. Maybe it worked for him, but I doubt it will work for you and Mr. Wonderful. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that fluff - Turkish Delight- is what we need in our relationships. But what we really need are things of substance."

"What are things of substance?" ask the nieces.

"Substance is what the book of Ecclesiastes talks about. It says,

"I ' ve decided that married life is best when it's ordinarylike Monday I through Friday. It isn't boring; it's genuine. Lots of married couples find great happiness in knowing that they have the real thing. It's not the kind of relationship that dominates television shows, movies and books - it's real."

I stop talking. The looks on the nieces' faces suggest that I'm losing them. And I realize that 21 years ago I was in their shoes: in love and ready to dive into marriage and all that came with it. Sometimes, I decide, it's good to enjoy the weekend. Monday is coming and it's going to be even better.-CF

Come to one of rica·s most scenic tourist destllHltions in the Slue RJdae McHllltai"s] Experience the vibrancy of worship and the comfort of fellowship. friends and soul provided by this African-American district in our conference.

Event Site: Boone Methodist Church Pastors' Conference:

Wednesday, July 26: 4:00-7:00 PM 7:00 PM

Thursday,July 27: 8:30AM

9:4SAM IO:ISAM

6:00 PM 7:00 PM

Friday, July 28: 8:30AM '0:00 AM 12:00 PM

Registration & Reception

Worship Celebration led by Cornerstone Church Worship Band; Reggie Hunt,

Worship led by Rod jc)st and the US Worship Band Teaching by Regie McNeal &n.k

Free Time, Recreation Dinner & Comedian Kenn Kington Worship & Teaching by Reggie McNeal

Worship & Teaching by Chuck Buller Tour of Samaritan's Purse Lunch

Free Time, Recreation US Conference Convention

Friday, July 28:

4:00-6:00 PM 7:00 PM

Saturday, July 29:

Registration & Dinner

Worship by North Carolina MB Worship Team Message by Terry Hunt, Moderator of NC MB Conference

8:30 AM-S:OO PM U.S. Conference Business Sessions (lunch break)

6:00 PM Dinner, Worship Time and Message, Chuck Buller 9:00 PM Closing Communion

Sunday, July 30: Worship with NC MB churches

HELP YOU REVIEW YOUR WILL

Many estates are not distributed according to the individual's desires, simply because the estate plan was outdated.

Ask the following questions:

• Are witnesses to your will still living?

• Have you moved to another state since your will was drafted?

• Does your will appoint a personal representative who would be unable to serve today because of where he or she lives?

• Have minor children become financially independent, resulting in a change in your desires for estate distribution?

• Have tax laws changed since you last reviewed your estate plan?

• Do you need to explore the use of a trust?

• Have your charitable interests changed since your will was drafted? need for tax planning?

• Does your present estate plan provide for management of property in case of disability prior to death?

• Are there additional methods you may employ to avoid probate at the time of death?

concerned that my will might be out of date. But how do I know when it should be reviewed?"

Your answers to these and other questions may indicate that you need to update your estate plan. We have prepared a special Guide To

to you as you review your

and

carry out your current distribution desires. Please