CCGP Crossings Fall 2024

rossings C Fall 2024

Thanksgiving Service Tuesday, November 26 7 PM

We will gather at Grosse Pointe Memorial Church to celebrate Thanksgiving, offering gratitude to God through our worship this day.

Please bring a canned food item for donation to a local food pantry. The Rev’d Andrew Van Culin will preach.

Bringing God and people together to know and live the good news of Jesus Christ.

Contents

Sean Rowe................................... 12

Rector’s Message...........................4

A Chorister’s Journey.................. 18

Christ Church Commons............... 6

Being a Good Enough Parent......20

Sacrament......................................8

Buildings & Grounds Update...... 21

Organs of Wells and Salisbury.... 10

Birthdays & Anniversaries..........22

To Excel in Love...........................24 A Sermon by Fr. Drew.................26 Living with Grief.........................28 Journey of Generosity.................30

Cover: Book of Revelation, Donald Jackson, © 2011 The Saint John’s Bible, Saint John’s University, Collegeville, Minnesota, USA. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

Title`ōlelo i ku’u mau hoaloha He Sub-title (a word to my friends)

By-line By The Rev’d Andrew Van Culin

‘‘Lord, where are you going?’

(John 13:36)

At first glance, this simple question may appear to be little more than a passing exchange between Peter and Jesus or a simple tool of the Evangelist to transition from Jesus’ great teaching of the New Commandment to his foretelling of Peter’s pending betrayal. And yet, as we learn time and again, the simplest questions and stories of Scripture are often laden with meaning and learning!

In fact, the substance of Peter’s question speaks to the very heart of human, and Christian, life. A bit of context. This simple question comes at the crossroads of Jesus’ life. As the account of Jesus’ life unfolds in each of the Gospels, there comes a moment in which Jesus must choose his path.

In John’s gospel, this moment comes in chapter 11 as Caiaphas proclaims, “it is better for you [that is, the Chief Priests] to have one man die for the people than to have the whole nation destroyed” after which the Jewish authorities begin to plot Jesus’ death.

In the face of this looming threat, Peter asks, “Lord, where are you going?”

This is no passing exchange. No simple inquiry about his day or coming plans. This question gets to the very heart of Jesus’ life and love – what will he do, what path will he follow, in the fact of conflict, uncertainty, and threat? And he, like each and every one of us today and throughout human history, must choose his path. Like humans throughout time Jesus is faced with the proverbial “fork in the road”

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as the eternal pathways of overt fighting, innocent fleeing, or simple acquiescence stand before him.

Of course, Jesus finds a different path altogether. (In all honesty, it’s more of a deer track through the brush than a well-marked path through the hills!). In the coming chapters, as Jesus’ life and story play out, we will watch him embark on the seldom taken path of committed love. Rather than renounce his teaching with his disciples or take flight into the night from Gethsemane, Jesus holds fast.

He holds fast to the truth of God’s love for all people, the dispossessed and abandoned and the for the powerful and mighty. He holds fast to the truth of God’s power, revealed through mercy and compassion rather than domination and destruction. He holds fast to the hope and promise – and lived reality – of God’s kingdom – in

which there is no Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female.

He holds fast in the coming days not only in the overt teaching he proclaims, but in the concrete actions he takes. He places a piece of blessed bread into the broken hands of Judas.

He stands tall in the darkness of Gethsemane and, with a soon to be wounded hand, he stays the violent hand of Peter and heals the wounded ear of a soldier sent to arrest him.

With humility and compassion he accepts the heartbreaking judgement of Caiaphas and Pilate. He holds fast even until his dying breath pleading not for his own life(!) but for ours as he proclaims throughout time, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

He does not fight. He does not flee.

He does not acquiesce.

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He perseveres. More to the point, he perseveres in steadfast love.

Peter’s question is a profound one for each of us today. As the chaos of the past election settles around us, we, as an American people, we as individual citizens of this good nation, we as a Christian community within a broken and hurting society, must take heed of Peter’s question – “where are you going?”

but for all Americans and for all people who dwell within our borders and for all who come to them. We must persevere in compassion for our neighbor, especially the dispossessed and abandoned be they citizen or immigrant. And we must persevere with mercy and grace toward one another – with those whom we call friend and, especially, with those with whom we disagree.

Of course, there are countless responses to this question.

On the national level, we, the American people, have chosen a path under new leadership, charging the new incoming administration to take action through policy creation and implementation that has been promised these past several months. As individual citizens we will each choose a path of civic engagement for the coming term. Some will use this opportunity to gloat and some to take up the fight. Most will likely hunker down and keep on with the day to day struggle of human life – earning enough to pay the bills hoping nothing too difficult comes their way.

Others may simply walk away.

Finally, we must hold to the hope and promise of God’s kingdom, persevering in our work to build a community in which there is no Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, but one eternal communion in Christ.

Friends, let us hold fast and persevere in love.

Hoomau me ke aloha,

As a Christian community, and as Christian citizens within the American experiment, however, we have chosen to look to Jesus as our guide.

We have chosen to persevere in steadfast love ourselves.

And so we must hold fast in love for one another and the world – not only for our fellow Democrats or Republicans;

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Christ Church Commons Spotlight: Melway Meats

By The Rev’d Maureen Martin During a sermon this past summer, I mentioned the ancient practice known as Lamasstide: a celebration of the first fruits of the Fall harvest during which the first loaves baked from fresh wheat were presented to be blessed.

This practice is an elegant example of God’s economy in motion. God gives the seed and soil, the sunshine and rain. People receive these gifts and from them, as a sign of their gratitude, make something new and bring it back to God for blessing.

At each point of exchange gratitude is given: Gratitude for the richness of God’s handiwork in creation and God’s gratitude as well for openhearted participation in our earthly and divine partnership.

Candlemas has a similar series of exchanges: the candles brought for blessing represent the light of Christ coming into the world through the gift of Mary his mother, the highest example of God’s gift economy expressed through earthly-divine partnership. The mystery of the gift economy is hinted at during the prayers for Candelemas. Here is a short example of this: “O Gracious Father, almighty and eternal God, you created all things out of nothing, and by your command caused the labor of bees to be revealed in the perfection of wax.” The story of Creation is shrouded in mystery and

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the fruitfulness of God is holy. The labor of bees is also mysterious and the fruits of their labor is likewise holy and beautiful to our senses.

Layer upon layer creation is laminated with this pattern of God working in collaboration with Creation. We know not how the conversation sounds between, say, God and microbe, or God and bee, but it is sufficient to say that the conversation is real when we

to be makers in the Christ Church Commons. There were lots of reasons to get excited: their dedication to quality and professionalism is top notch. But what really got me going was their deep understanding of soil and commitment to regenerative agriculture: they get it. What follows is a conversation with Nicholas Ponte and Melanie McElroy, founders of Mel’s Farmstand.

What makes you stand out?

Mel's Farmstand consists of the Melway burger pop-up and sales of McElroy Farms beef & our new handmade sausages. We only use 100% grass-fed beef (and all-natural, pasture-raised pork) from McElroy Farms.

McElroy Farms is our family's ecoregenerative ranch in Hillsdale, Michigan.

see the produce of it. Conversely, when we examine what happens when God is excluded from human conversations and see the ways in which we have carelessly worked to destroy this fragile Earth, we realize that it is time to once again look to the silent wisdom of soil and bee and rejoice that, in mystery, God is there, waiting for us to take up our eternal partnership once again.

And so, with all of this buzzing around in my mind, I was really excited when Mel’s Farmstand asked

The church talks about creation care and the ways in which we participate with God in the development and sustaining of the world. Rather than seeing the world as a source of “natural resources” to be exploited, we seek to change our attitude to one of relationship with all that God has made. What aspects of your business build up our relationship with the created world?

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Our method is to step out of the way and let nature do its thing. Ancient seed beds are activated deep below the soil by grazing large animals for a short amount of time. The plants that grow are exactly what they need to stay in balance. We allow them to rotate around our farm so that after each grazing, the soil rests for 30 days or more. This has transformed the ecosystem of our region from the desolation of conventional, chemical crop farming practices to a lush, diverse pasture. Pollinators, insects, birds, rodents, deer, fungi and microbial organisms have all returned to our fields.

Thanks to the carbon sequestration from our regenerative grazing practices, our soil can now adequately retain water, which mitigates flooding and drought issues that crop farms face. Overall, regenerative practices are proven to help mitigate the effects of climate change, and the product is 100% grass-fed, grass-finished meat that is full of nourishment for local families. Whether they buy from our

market pop-ups, our burger pop-ups or through home delivery via our website, our customers get as much attention as our soil!

Share the ways in which being a maker at Christ Church has helped your business to grow.

information about turkey pre-orders.

They and a number of other small scale makers will be offering items to enhance your Thanksgiving meal, including pies and pickles, available for pick up on Sunday, November 24!

The beautiful, fully-equipped kitchen at Christ Church has been a gamechanger for all that we do. A Detroitarea licensed kitchen has allowed us to prep and create for our burger pop-ups and our sausage products in a safe and clean environment. We wouldn't be able to pop-up at Eastern Market without this opportunity of having a licensed commissary kitchen.

We are excited to meet new customers through Christ Church who are interested in our farm's products in the Grosse Pointe community.

We look forward to delivering to new households nearby!

Visit mcelroyfarms.com for more information and to learn about their products. Watch your email for

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Sacrament

By Lisa A. Brown

The traditional definition of a sacrament is "an external sign of God's internal presence and acting" or "an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible grace." 1 We hold a strong conviction that God wishes to communicate with us, every minute of every day. That is why many theologians speak of grace as "God's personal self-communication" and our sacraments as key moments when this self-communication of God comes to us.

Grace is not so much something that is given but someone who is experienced as present – namely God. This is why many theologians today do not speak so much of sacraments "giving grace" (like it’s a thing or

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substance) but rather we hold that our sacramental celebrations awaken us, "enabling us to experience grace to recognize God's presence" in a new or fresh way. They are opportunities to become focused and experience God in a profound way. A metaphor might be that they are like 'putting on eyeglasses', so that we can see more clearly, or become more aware.

So our sacramental celebrations invite us to become conscious of God's always present creative, sustaining, and loving presence. And when we Christians speak of the sacraments, we are not limited to the big seven. Every experience we have is sacramental if we cultivate an awareness of God in everyday life.

Key to our Christian understanding of the world is our sacramental principle which states: that all reality (everything we experience in our dayto-day life) is potentially the bearer of God’s presence and the instrument of God’s grace if we are paying attention.

Fr. Michael Himes writes, "A Sacrament is any person, place, thing, or event, any sight, sound, taste, touch, or smell, that causes us to notice the love which supports all that exists, that undergirds your being and mine and the being of everything about us."

"God is no more present in church than in a pub, but we generally are more present to God in church than we are in a pub. The problem of presence is not with God, but with

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us."2 In other words, we don’t pray to make God present to us. God is already present, always present everywhere. We pray to make ourselves present to God. 3 Dr. Richard Gallardietz offers this metaphor to help us understand our sacramental principle. He invites us to imagine being at the doctor’s office with the light, cheesy "muzak" playing softly in the background throughout the waiting room. Someone sitting next to you nudges you and asks "Hey, what is this song that is playing?" and you stop filling out your medical forms for a minute, listen and respond "Oh, that's the Beatles song, Let It Be."

At your dinner table laughing and sharing with your family members - God is present. You hold a two-weekold baby and feel a sense of awe and wonder as you touch her tiny hand - God is present. In a simple meal of wine and bread - God is present.

Even our suffering can be sacramental if we can manage to open ourselves in order to be broken open.

flows. But when you run up against the hard edge and have to stand true to love anyway, what emerges is a most precious taste of pure divine love. God has spoken his most intimate name.”

We are always free to pay attention to these experiences, or not. When we are paying attention, that is what we call a sacramental moment.

In closing...There is a story about 3000 kings who in succession sat on a high marble throne on the eastern gate of a great city. All of them called upon God to appear so that they might see him, but all went to their graves with their wish unfulfilled. After the kings had all died, a pauper, barefooted and hungry, came and sat upon that throne.

“ Every experience we have is potentially sacramental if we cultivate an awareness of God in everyday life.”

Before that moment you were not paying attention to the music in the background at all. It was there, but you were not aware until someone invited you to stop and pay attention. That is what a sacrament is; a celebration that helps us to become aware of God's grace that is ever present. Everything in life, every experience, sacred or profane, is potentially revelatory of God if we are paying attention.

All of creation is an overflowing of love from God, because that is just how God is - abundant and overflowing.

So, God didn’t just love us into being, but God loved everything into being.

God is the pulse, the ultimate ground to all that exists. Now, of course, we aren’t always aware of God’s presence in everything, but when we are, we Christians call that a sacrament.

As Episcopal priest Cynthia Bourgeault writes: “Could it be that this earthly realm, not in spite of but because of its very density and jagged edges, offers precisely the conditions for the expression of certain aspects of divine love that could become real in no other way? This world does indeed show forth what love is like in a particularly intense and costly way.

But when we look at this process more deeply, we can see that those sharp edges we experience as constriction at the same time call forth some of the most exquisite dimensions of love, which require the condition of finitude in order to make sense—qualities such as steadfastness, tenderness, commitment, forbearance, fidelity, and forgiveness. These mature and subtle flavors of love have no real context in a realm where there are no edges and boundaries, where all just

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God, he whispered, the eyes of a human being cannot look directly at the sun, for they would be blinded, so, of course, I know I cannot look directly at you? Have pity, Lord, temper your strength, turn down your splendor so that I, who am poor and afflicted may see you.

Then God became a piece of bread, a cup of cool water offered by a friend, a warm tunic, a hut, and in front of the hut, a woman nursing an infant. Thank you Lord, the pauper whispered, you humbled yourself for my sake that I might see you...and I do see you...and I bow down to your beauty and truth.4 1.St. Augustine 2.Shelia Cassidy 3.Fr. Rolheiser 4.Nikos Kazantzaki

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The Organs of Wells and Salisbury Cathedrals

By Jackson Merrill

This past July, the Christ Church choir was in residence at Wells and Salisbury Cathedrals in England.

Each residency lasted a week, and the choir sang nightly Evensong in place of the cathedral choirs, which are on break during the summer months.

Making music in the cathedrals of England is an unusual experience for American musicians, in part because of the age of buildings, many of which are a thousand years old. The organists of these cathedrals play and accompany major repertoire daily, so the organs are among the most used in the world. Their primary role is to support the “Opus Dei”, the unbroken, daily pattern of worship. Most English cathedrals tune and maintain organs monthly to keep them in good shape for this robust schedule of services.

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The earliest mention of an organ at Wells was in 1310, when chapter documents state that timber from Winscombe, in northern Somerset, should be used to build an organ for the Cathedral. Since then, there have been a number of new organs or restorations to existing organs.

The oldest sounds in the present instrument date back to an organ built by the famous Victorian builder Henry Willis, in 1857. Most of the present instrument is from an organ built in 1910 by Harrison and Harrison (the same firm which built the organ of Christ Church Grosse Pointe in 2001). The organ gained its beautiful casework following a rebuild

by Harrison and Harrison in 1974.

Now fifty years after this rebuild, the organ is right on schedule for a

new rebuild, with much of the organ presently not functional. Fortunately, the Swell division of the organ, which is the most important for choral accompaniment, was working well, so we were able to sing the liturgical repertoire we’d planned with some modifications. Wells Cathedral is now about halfway to its two million pound goal to realize the restoration.

Like Wells, Salisbury Cathedral has many organs in its history. Its most famous instrument is the present organ, built by Willis in 1877. Willis, who also built instruments for the Royal Albert Hall, St. Paul’s, London, and Durham Cathedral, is reported to have said that Salisbury was his finest organ. My first experience with this organ was at twelve, when my grandparents bought me a recording

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of organist Michael Murray at Salisbury (Murray sadly died this past August at age eighty-one). A faithful restoration of this organ was recently completed by Harrison and Harrison in 2020, so the organ was in perfect working order. I was fortunate on our second day at Salisbury to meet David Halls, Organist and Director of Music. David has been in the Director of Music post since 2005, and before that he was Assistant Organist from 1985. With the Salisbury Cathedral organ and music department essentially being his life’s work, he had much wisdom

to offer me as to how the organ might be used to accompany the choir in that space, which we found very useful in the limited rehearsal time.

This organ’s pristine ensemble sound is legendary, essentially unaltered since 1877, as is its famous tuba stop, a loud solo trumpet stop which can be heard over all other sounds on the organ combined.

In our tours to England, we in the music department and those traveling with us gain so much musically and spiritually from submitting ourselves to the life and discipline of daily

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worship in these Cathedrals. The model of choir training and repertoire we take here at Christ Church is inherited from this great English tradition. This responsibility and this unique vein of liturgical artistic expression is what we in the choir and music program work to carry forward in this community. These tours are a wonderful opportunity for us to come face to face with this tradition, and come home to Grosse Pointe changed and enriched.

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Sean Rowe: I See Significant Changes

By Kirk Petersen, The Living Church A few hours after his election was announced, Bishop Sean Rowe sat with The Living Church’s Kirk Petersen for his first one-on-one interview as Presiding Bishop-Elect.

This transcript has been lightly edited.

A couple of months ago, I did an interview with Presiding Bishop [Michael] Curry, sort of an exit interview, and I’ll start with the same question I started with him. He talked about each Presiding Bishop being chosen for their time. Bishop Katharine [Jefferts Schori] had to be the Iron Lady. The church was kind of at war, with the schism. Bishop Curry had the opportunity to refocus more on Jesus and evangelism and beloved community. My thought about the next presiding bishop has been that part of the work is going to be to help the church gracefully decline. Because I don’t think the numbers are going to turn around.

I think what the next Presiding Bishop is going to do …

That’s you, by the way.

[Laughs] That’s right, yes. I think the goal is going to be to help us take these values that we’ve identified, these priorities that we’ve identified — evangelism, creation care, racial reconciliation, and others we’ll identify — and to operationalize them for our time.

So, yes, the church is in decline, in terms of our numbers. Given the hand we’re dealt, given the situation as

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it is, given the state of Christianity, given the demographics of our various regions — how do we most effectively participate in this mission that we’ve called ourselves to? I don’t know if it’s about helping us to decline gracefully, as much as it is to rethink the whole enterprise, particularly the way that we do it.

Is the church going to be larger or smaller by the time you’re done leading the show?

All trends point to a smaller church, at least in the next decade. I think my particular role is to help us reposition.

We think about strategic planning. So we’re looking at the external factors that are at play, we’re looking at what we’re dealing with internally, and we’re saying, how do we reposition the organization to best take advantage of that?

Communion. What is that aspect of the job going to look like for you?

In light of my background, you mean?

I’m saying, you come from steelworkers, and then you’re going to be in Lambeth Palace.

And dealing with primates with different views from other places.

What I learned from my roots is how to be in relationship with people who are very different, who are speaking very directly, but also who are ultimately practical. I think one of the strengths I’ll bring is a kind of pragmatism and an ability to get along with most people.

And I think it’s going to be leaner.

It’s going to be smaller, at least in the short term. There’s no question about that. The question for me more is, can we get to a level, to a greater level of effectiveness, and can we lay the groundwork in which to grow? But that doesn’t happen overnight. We’re talking about a multi-decade process here of rethinking, to use an old term, how we prosecute the mission of the church.

One of the great joys of the General Convention work I’ve done over all these years is the kind of negotiation that takes place, the kind of give and take and the mutual discernment that happens. Sometimes it’s very hard, and sometimes there is a high level of conflict, and sometimes it’s very uncomfortable. Often I don’t agree.

But some of my closest colleagues in the church are people that I really have fundamental differences with about the polity of this church — but whom I’ve been able to work with and have a high level of respect.

You’ve talked a couple of times about coming from a family of steel workers in Western New York. Now in addition to being the head of the Episcopal Church, you’re going to be one of the most prominent primates in the global Anglican

In terms of the worldwide Anglican Communion, I think I have a lot to learn about what to do and how that will all work. But I think I’m going to bring the kind of common sense and resilience that comes out of that background to this work. I’ll listen to people who know more than I do,

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which is probably most people when it comes to that area.

Rowe was a member of the Task Force for Reimagining the Episcopal Church (TREC), as was President of the House of Deputies Julia Ayala Harris.

In 2014, TREC released a 73-page report proposing sweeping changes in the governance of the church, including dramatic reductions to the size of General Convention and Executive Council.

Virtually none of the changes were adopted.

Talk a little bit about TREC and that experience, and what that might do to inform what you do in the next nine years.

I try to have a sense of humor about my time on TREC. I actually enjoyed it. The people there were tremendous, there was tremendous creativity and commitment to the church there. But we weren’t ready then. We thought we were, and we just weren’t ready. We got to Utah in 2015 and it was clear that we were going to be able to make very modest movement.

That said, what I think TREC did was plant the seeds for what is now coming into being. I think there’s

By itself, is that a worthy goal? No. I think that what is worthy of our time and attention is, what is the best missional approach? If you just think our job is to keep the weak dioceses alive, what you may be saying is that we have a system that doesn’t work, and we just want to double down on that and prop it up.

What I’m suggesting is that it’s possible that we need an entirely different system.

a greater awareness of the kind of change that is going to be necessary. I think that some of it is already under way. I think we’re seeing it. I think that much of what we talk about in TREC is going to come back around to us now, and I think this is actually the time of reckoning. And part of the strength that I will bring to this role is understanding how this institution works, the General Convention, how we legislate, how we do business, and the art of working with these two houses to make things happen.

In one of the discussions about the assessments, there was language about keeping the weak dioceses alive. Is that a worthy goal?

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Of course, it’s important to invest in and support the weakest among us.

But that doesn’t mean investing in keeping structures that are part of the reason we’re in the predicament that we’re in, because that doesn’t make sense, right? Why would we want to do that? Why wouldn’t we want to create strength?

How are things going with your two dioceses in terms of their working together? I interviewed you five years ago about the two dioceses, and you told me the purpose of it isn’t to merge.

It’s to use resources more effectively. You talked about it being a five-year experiment.

Where are we with that?

That experiment is in its final year.

Given COVID, we extended it for 18 months, but it’s now being evaluated.

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Sean Rowe: I See Significant Changes cont’d

We brought evaluators in from the outside to look at all the goals that we set at the beginning. There’ll be a report in the spring to the standing committees, and then the standing committees will decide what to recommend.

So it could be, we want to continue what we’re doing. It could be, we want to continue what we’re doing with these modifications. It could be we’re going to go our separate ways. That process is now under way, and there will be a vote in October of 2025 about its future.

Merger is just one of the many options. There’s nothing that keeps dioceses from working together, creating economies of scale. That should be happening, and it isn’t at the level it needs to be.

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You talked about your work with General Convention over the years. There’s a debate going on: “General Convention is too big” — but “don’t you dare make it smaller. We need to give the voices their opportunity to be heard.” Do you see making significant changes to the structure of General Convention?

I think it has to be on the table. And I will want to work with the president to put these matters on the table and see how we can reimagine what we’re doing. Yes, I see significant changes.

I think we want to run different scenarios. What could it look like?

How could it be different? Maybe it needs to be smaller. Maybe not.

I don’t know if I want to start with how big it should be or how small. I

think I want to start with, what are we trying to do? What do we want to accomplish? And what’s the best way to do that now?

Anything else you would like the readers of The Living Church to know?

I do want to make clear: I talk a lot about organizational structure. I talk a lot about budgets, strategy — but it’s all in the service of the gospel. If we don’t get the vehicle working, you can have all the values and all the high aspirations you want, but if the vehicle can’t get us there, what good is it?

Petersen, K. (2024, July 17). Sean Rowe: ‘I see significant changes.’ The Living Church. https:// livingchurch.org/news/news-episcopal-church/ sean-rowe-i-see-significant-changes-2/

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Christmas at Christ Church Advent Wreath Workshop Sunday, December 1 | 10: 15 am

Advent is here, which means it’s time to make Advent wreaths and to begin our preparation for the in-breaking of God’s love! We supply the greens, candles, punch, cookies, and music while you and your family create a centerpiece to take home in preparation for the Christmas Season.

Advent Procession

community of friends, new and old. If you’re in need of a special gift, don’t worry – the Gifts and Greens Silent (and not so silent!) Auction is this night, the entire proceeds of which support the excellent ministry of Carsten’s Literacy Initiative and SOAR Detroit. Guests are encouraged!

Children are invited for movies, pizza and fun in the Education Wing!

Christmas Concert – An Italian Christmas

Sunday, December 1 | 4 pm

Sunday, December 15, 2024 | 4 pm | Free pre-concert lecture at 3 pm

A service of readings and music celebrating the Advent of Our Lord.

Christ Church Chorale and Orchestra Tickets: $25

Annual Christmas Party Gifts & Greens Silent Auction | St. Nicholas Party Friday, December 13 | 6 pm

Every year Christ Church comes together for the annual Christ Church Christmas Party to celebrate Christmas as a

Celebrate the joy of the Christmas season in this festive afternoon of traditional favorites and choral masterpieces.

This year’s concert features selections from the Italian choral tradition including Vivaldi’s Gloria and Pietro Yon’s Gesu Bambino. Then, the audience is invited to join in to sing some of our favorite Christmas carols and the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah.

Candlelight Service of Nine Lessons and Carols

Sunday, December 22 | Doors Open at 3:45 pm | PreService Organ Recital 4 pm | Service at 4:30 pm A service of lessons and music celebrating the Nativity of Our Lord.

Christmas Cookie Exchange December 22 | 10:15 am

Bring a plate or three of your favorite cookies and secret family recipes to nibble, taste, and trade with friends. Just in time for your family Christmas party!

Christmas Eve Family Service with Crèche Procession Tuesday, December 24, 2024 | 4 pm

Christmas Eve Festival Eucharist with Alumni Choir Tuesday, December 24, 2024 | 8 pm

Christmas Eve Festival Eucharist with Choir (Incense is used)

Tuesday, December 24, 2024 | 11 pm (Choral prelude begins at 10:30 pm)

Christmas Day Festival Eucharist with Choir Wednesday, December 25, 2024 | 10 am

A Journey Through Time: Chorister Reflection

By Jimmy Fitzgerald

This past July I had the opportunity to travel with the Christ Church choir and companions on their trip to England. It was a two-week adventure, staying a week in both Wells and Salisbury respectively. We went on many excursions to surrounding towns and landmarks, watching the choir sing almost every day in the Cathedrals of both cities.

I currently work at Christ Church as the media specialist, but this is not the first role I’ve had here. I joined the choir under Scott Hanoian in 2012 and was in it until 2017. Almost ten years ago to the date I went to England with the choir of boys and professionals to sing and tour various locations.

Funnily enough, that trip ten years ago bore many similarities to this most recent one.

Right off the plane I was made aware that the bus we were using was, although not the same exact one, a bus belonging to the Gloucester Rugby team. The same red, white and gray colors that adorned our bus ten years ago. As I walked down the center aisle, I could practically see my fellow boy choristers at the tables playing Euchre or Slap. The rush of nostalgia was instant, and was a ball that would keep rolling.

I didn’t sleep at all on the plane, so pushing through the first day was tough. From the airport we were taken to Windsor, which is a place we went on the 2014 trip. It wasn’t immediately familiar, but as soon as we stepped up into the Windsor & Eton Central train station I was greeted by “The Queen” locomotive. This train is a replica of the one which Queen Victoria would

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take between Windsor and London, and I vividly remembered it from the trip ten years ago. The rest of the town and its place in my memories fell into place shortly after. It was fun visiting locations and talking to others who had been on the trip ten years ago like Teddy Sweeney, another former boy chorister and professional singer on the trip, and seeing what they remembered.

Another similarity between the two trips was the opportunity for creating and strengthening bonds. I became much closer with just about everyone who was on this trip by grouping with them during tours, travelling the city or just having a meal together. Just as I still talk to friends I made in the

choir via group texts and video games.

Pictures were the most powerful thing on this trip besides the fire alarm waking us every night in Wells. I was really young when I went with the choir, so I would be lying if I had every single piece of that memory puzzle altogether. It’s ok though, my mother is Colleen Fitzgerald and the photos that needed to be recreated were probably already prepped and ready before we even set foot on English soil. If there’s one thing that those pictures told me, it’s that I was a lot taller this time around, which was also made aware to me every time I hit my head below the decks of the SS Great Britain in Bristol.

CROSSINGS | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/PentecostCROSSINGS 2022 | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/Fall 2024

how relaxed and welcoming the clergy of these cathedrals were. In Wells they were very gracious to let me film even during the service with a tripod setup, and in Salisbury upon learning that I was the livestream director at our church, were kind enough to give me an inside look at how their livestream system worked.

It was extremely surreal to see the younger photo of me standing in front of Wells, and rather existential. Ten years is a drop in the bucket to the eight hundred of the building behind me, but I think we both aged pretty ok.

There were also pictures of young me in front of Stonehenge that we recreated at our visit to the stones this year. However, I did not recreate pictures of chorister Jimmy sleeping, which I’m told I did a lot of. That is not surprising, viewing this trip on the outside really made me appreciate the tenacity of everyone in the choir.

Singing Evensong, an incredibly tough service music-wise, every day of the trip only a few hours after we’ve made our daily excursion is impressive.

Being on the other side of this trip as an adult I realize how lucky I was as a kid to be able to have an experience like that. These cathedrals that we sing in are unfathomably old and we are given the opportunity to add to the near millennium of musical tradition in place. I still have the certificate from Exeter Cathedral, which unfortunately we did not visit this time, that commends me on my taking part in the long musical tradition.

Another part that surprised me on my visit to these ancient cathedrals is how nice the staff were. Part of my role on this trip was to capture footage for an upcoming project, so I knew I would have to talk to the clergy to see if this was possible. I was not prepared for

CROSSINGS | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/Fall 2024

I would like to extend a massive thank you to Scott Hanoian, Jackson Merrill and everyone who sang on the trip for providing such beautiful music and ensuring that I would be reciting the Magnificent and Nunc Dimittis chants, as well as various anthems, well into almost a month after the trip. I would also like to thank the companions for being so welcoming to me and extending a chair at the table for meals. I would also like to thank my mother, Colleen Fitzgerald, who is the whole reason I was able to go on the trip ten years ago as well as today.

I was finally able to witness how much of a pillar she is on these choir trips.

This choir trip has left me wanting to go on every single one they have from here on out and has left me wanting to sing more. So it’s a good thing that they have trips planned far in advance, and that the Christ Church Chorale is always accepting new volunteers.

Being a chorister changed my life, because without that I would not be working at Christ Church Grosse Pointe today and I would not have many of the lifelong friends that I made during my time here.

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On Being a Good Enough Parent

By Lisa A. Brown

My husband and I have three daughters. Their ages are spread out, so for a few years we had one in high school, one in middle school, and one in elementary school. This made back-to-school time extra challenging with their varied start and dismissal times, supply lists, and vastly different fall clothing needs and styles. Every morning, it seemed there was one shoe missing, one lunch forgotten, or one permission slip turned in late. By the second week of school, the front office attendants knew me by my first name.

One particularly harrowing year, I attended 14 back-to-back teacher conferences. Several of their teachers said, in almost identical language, that my girls were very “self-advocating.”

At first, I wasn’t sure how to take this information. It felt a bit like a backhanded compliment.

When I shared my bewilderment about the teachers’ comments with a friend, she recommended I google pediatrician and psychoanalyst Dr. Donald Winnicott. He researched thousands of mothers and their children in the 1950s and realized that children actually benefit when their parents “fail” them in manageable ways (not major failures, of course, such as abuse or neglect). He was the first to proclaim the benefits of being a “good enough” parent for the longterm growth and well-being of our children.

When our babies are infants, we do our best to respond to their every need. As soon as they cry, we rush to snuggle, change, or feed them – offering immediate comfort. Our response at this age is crucial in

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teaching our children that they are safe and will be cared for. But, of course, this level of attentiveness cannot be sustained, nor should it be, according to Dr. Winnicott’s study.

In fact, he said the best thing we can do is slowly become “good enough” parents. In other words, our children actually need us to fail in tolerable ways on a regular basis so they learn to live in an imperfect world.

He states that every time we don’t hear them call us right away, are unable to give them our full attention, feed them a dinner they don’t particularly enjoy, or are unable to attend a concert or game, we are preparing them to accept and function in a world that will quite regularly frustrate and disappoint. Our children learn, through our “failures,” that the world doesn’t revolve around them, that life isn’t always fair, and that they won’t always get their way. But they also learn that despite life’s inevitable disappointments and conflicts, they will still be okay.

Even if it were somehow possible to be the “perfect” parent (whatever that might look like), the end result would be a fragile child unable to cope with even the slightest disappointment.

The gift of the “good enough” parent is that perfection is never offered as an option; rather, our children learn to accept, expect, and rise above the challenging experiences of anger, boredom, and sadness. Resilience is the great gift of the “good enough” parent.

Are our children safe, fed, clothed, and loved? Are we getting it right most of the time? If yes, then we need to be gentle with ourselves and trust that when our kids feel annoyed, frustrated, or sad because we have let them down, in those many small moments, they learn that life is hard, that they can feel terrible, and that they will bounce back. Each time we disappoint and they get through it, Dr. Winnicott’s research tells us they will be a little bit stronger for it.

I like Dr. Winnicott. In fact, I’d like to hug him and have him over for dinner.

CROSSINGS | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/PentecostCROSSINGS 2022 | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/Fall 2024

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Title

Behind the Scenes at Sub-title Building and Grounds By-line

By Diane Ward

At our church, many of the projects approved by the Building and Grounds Committee and Vestry happen behind the scenes, often going unnoticed.

However, we want to keep you informed about the enhancements we’re making to our facilities and parsonages in 2024. These initiatives focus on improving functionality, safety, and aesthetic appeal, all made possible through our generous endowment that supports capital projects.

Here’s a summary of the completed and planned projects for this year: Completed Projects The Tutag (Radnor) Parsonage had a total of $40,000 in improvements in preparation for the move-in of Miles and Paulina Kennedy. The renovations included a kitchen remodel, carpet removal and floor refinishing, and a fresh coat of paint throughout the residence.

The education wing received $12,550 in repairs to two flat roofs and the flashing on one peak to prevent water ingress.

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The old hot water tank in the undercroft kitchen and “old church building” was replaced with a new commerical tank for $5,500.

The stockade fence behind the Neff property was replaced to ensure safety and security at a cost of $8,434.

We spent $12,300 on upgraded equipment including two new computers and new round tables for the Undercroft. A new postage machine was acquired to comply with USPS regulations. We also replaced the washer and dryer at the Neff parsonage.

To prepare for Jackson and Allison Merrill’s move-in, the second floor of Neff underwent significant updates, including new carpet in three bedrooms, the living room, and den.

The living room and den were also painted. There was furniture left from previous tenants, so that was removed as well. The total for the Neff refresh was $13,500.

Upcoming Projects There will be some work done to refurbish the Carillon and Tower totalling $60,090. This comprehensive

project includes the humane removal of pigeons and installation of fencing to deter the pigeons from returning.

The tower will be cleaned once the pigeons are evicted. This project also includes the maintenance work on the 35 bell Carillon, including headpieces, clappers, transmission system, and keyboard.

We’re getting new carpeting in the Undercroft at a cost of $32,000. This includes a labyrinth design at the altar end. The carpet selection has been finalized and the labyrinth design has been approved, so we are just working on final layout and installation plans.

Plans are in place to remove a dead elm tree from the Tutag property, enhancing safety and aesthetics for a cost of $11,800.

We are proud of these projects, which reflect our commitment to maintaining and improving our church facilities. Your support and understanding of these behind-thescenes efforts are invaluable as we continue to foster a welcoming and functional environment for all. Stay tuned for more updates as we progress through 2024!

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Birthdays & Anniversaries!

November 1 Brian Juergens Ted Lambrecht Jane Van Osdol 2 Tim Hagan 3 Michael Hartnett Brian Peabody Ian Quinlan Chloe Tennyson 4 Helen Santiz Chris Vallee-Smith 5 Craig Melegari Margaret Torp Lisa Vallee-Smith 7 John Colman Kevin McMahon 8 Addison Teachey Marshall & Libby Irby 9 Paul Alandt Josephine Beardslee Trent Maghielse Patrick Spain 10 Cathy Collison 11 Nick Edwin Grant Moorhead George Nicholson Susan White Shirley Wong 12 Patrick Ryan 13 Addison Lynn John Starr Stephanie Stallings Sandra Thompson Mary Wilson 14 Sarah Bowe Jim Kastner James Koto Doug Schrashun 15 Elizabeth Alcott Bill Costello Tom Keating 16 Sandra Rudolph Kelly Walsh 18 Mark & Susan Lorenger 19 Wells Colman Craig Hupp Cindy McMahon George Sutton

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20 Robert Alcantara Dick Trost Patrick & Mary Mansfield 21 Gretchen Costello 22 Rachel Edwin 23 Ted McConnell 24 Gioconda McMillan Alex Varas Sam Van Culin 26 Lynn Detwiler Gerhard & Susan Heinen 27 John & Anna Warren, Jr. 28 Ralph Booth Theo Hagan Bob Johnson Gretchen Knoell Jan Starr John Woodhouse Chuck & Judith Mathews 29 Danny Bowen John Clark Peggy Maycock 30 Kit Greening Cynthia Reich December 2 Billy Mansfield Meredith Loomis Quinlan 3 Eliza Hix Richard Platt Graham Ryan Charlotte Walsh 4 Betsy McCormick Lorna Utley 5 James Gray Sue Mara Kathy Oranchak 6 Judy Kling Emma Reich Jessica Van Culin 7 Marica Ostrowski 8 Marisa Bennett Terri Lyn Huston Clara Pietsch 9 Claire Platt Ron & Linda Solterisch 11 Karl Baumgarten Sidonie Brown Tracy Magee

Jody Burton-Thompson Ali Carr Elizabeth Felix Gerhard Heinen Jocelyn Padden 13 Lori Moulton Boeckler Karl Koto 14 Charles Exley Edward Turner 15 Erik Traynham George & Lynn Detwiler 16 Marian Baal Kathie Gotfredson 17 Katie Wilson 19 Ryan Waller 20 Jamie Blaine Susan Higbie Barbara Nickles Jonathan Rudolph Ned & Liz Johnson, Jr. Dan & Cathryn Skedel 21 Heather Albrecht Jane Edwin Martha Lakis Gustav Svensson Gerard Vallee-Smith 22 Patrick Chesterton Rick Worrell 23 Jud Utley 24 Shirley Fortune Carol Gove Morgan Walker Sara Sweeny John & Caroline Watkins, Jr. Ursula & Maris Persidskis 25 Carol Exley Ryan Peabody 26 Chris Dirkse Moira Hix Jacqui Wilkinson 27 Len Azzaro Richard Baumgarten Andy Gavagan Tom MacMillan Sarah Ollison Garrett Redding David Tobbe Jan & Susan Starr 12

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Justin Donoghue Yolanda Turner Rema Waugh 29 Chris & Sara Dirkse 30 Reland Moore Rich & Melissa Larpenteur Ed & Pixie White

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Judy Duffy Brian MacLean Joshua & Kelly Darlington

61 Grosse Pointe Boulevard Grosse Pointe Farms, MI 48236 Church Office (Hours: 9 am–5 pm) Phone: 313-885-4841 | Fax: 313-885-7019 www.christchurchgp.org

Pastoral Emergencies: 313-885-4841, ext. 4 The Rev’d Andrew Van Culin, Rector dvanculin@christchurchgp.org 313-885-4842 Lisa Brown, Associate for Children, Youth and Family Ministries lbrown@christchurchgp.org 313-885-4841 ext. 104 Scott Hanoian, Associate for Worship and Liturgy, Director of Music and Organist shanoian@christchurchgp.org 313-885-4841 ext. 102 The Rev’d Maureen L. Martin, Associate for Parish Life & Community Engagement mmartin@christchurchgp.org 313-885-4841 ext. 116 Diane Ward, Associate for Finance and Administration dward@christchurchgp.org 313-885-4841 ext. 111

In Memorium Sandy Blaine Bill Cudlip Jeannie Davis Matina Hall Noah Huebner Jim Vogt

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gacy Society

The Legacy Society

Legacy Society

The Legacy Society

The

Le

The The

In gratitude

Legacy Society

Thank You • Mr. & Mrs. Mark Lorenger

• The Rev’d & Mrs. Andrew Van Culin

• Mr. Jeffrey Smith

• Mr. & Mrs. John Van Osdol

& Mrs. Lisa Vallee Smith

• Mr. John Snyder • Ms. Amie Sweeney • Ms. Karyn Weir • Mr. & Mrs. Michael Labadie • Mr. & Mrs. George Sutton • Mr. & Mrs. Richard Trost

• Ms. Martha Bangs • Ms. Libby Candler & Mr. Daniel Hughes • Mr. Michael DeFillip & Mr. David Gerdis • Mr. & Mrs. Peter Ferrara • Mr. & Mrs. Allan Torp • Mr. John Woodhouse

& Ms. Susan Vercruysse

At Christ Church, we are more than just a place of worship, we are a faith community that has stood the test of time, intertwining our lives and stories with the rich history fo Grosse Pointe. For generations, Christ Church has been a sanctuary of solace, a source of strength and a home for our souls. Planned giving provides a unique opportunity for each one of us to leave a lasting impact, to sow the seeds of faith that will blossom and bear fruit for generations to come.

By including Christ Church in your planned giving, you are ensuring that our spiritual home remains resilient and ready to guide those who seek solace, support, and a deeper connection to their faith.

Your gift, whether it be through a bequest, charitable trust or other planned giving option, will become a lasting part of your legacy of dedication and devotion to Christ Church.

To learn more about planned giving, please contact Diane Ward at dward@christchurchgp.org.

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CROSSINGS | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/PentecostCROSSINGS 2022 | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/Fall 2024

A Special Thanks to our Campaign Leadership!

Our campaign would not have been possible without ...

The vision of our Vestry who helped solidify the vision and approved the investment not only in our campaign but in our vision and mission!

The generosity of George and Nancy Nicholson, “Our First Family,” who encouraged us to build the plan and have led the way with generosity and faith!

The commitment of our Campaign Ambassadors, Richard Best, Betsy Creedon, Amie Sweeney, and Brendan Walsh, who have advocated for our ministry and invited so many to join the campaign!

And, of course, the steadfast leadership of our Campaign Chair, Lisa Vallee-Smith, whose friendship and attentiveness has kept us on task with humor, generosity, and efficiency!

To Excel In Campaign Status Campaign Goal.............................................................................. $6 million Household Commitments.............................................................. 101 Total Commitments Pledged ......................................................... $6.52 million Cash Pledges.................................................................................. $3.65 million Legacy Commitments.................................................................... $2.87 million Dollars Received to date:............................................................... $1.83 million

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On Christian Hope, Riches and Power

By The Rev’d Andrew Van Culin I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power.

mercy, no darkness beyond God’s light, no death beyond God’s life. This is the central revelation of Jesus – that through him, we might come to the simple and eternal truth: “For God so loved the world.”

Full stop.

Laying the question (which shouldn’t be a question at all!) of our salvation to the side we can look again at Paul’s prayer for the Church – for you and for me today:

Yes! This is my prayer as well!

I pray that, as you come to know God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you may come to know what is the hope to which you are called, what are the riches of God’s inheritance for you, and what is the immeasurable greatness of God’s power for you!

I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power.

Now, let us lay aside the easy answer to this prayer – eternal life or, by another term, salvation. Let’s lay them aside, not because they are untrue or unimportant, but because they are incomplete and distracting.

For the last century or two, Western Christianity, especially American Christianity, has been consumed by the question of salvation and eternal life; so much so that we have made them the singular focus of our faith.

“Have you been saved?” has become the central question of much of modern Christian evangelism.

So, let me say to you and to all the world – the answer to that question is, YES! You have been saved! No prayer required, no petitions to be made! In Jesus, God proclaimed the world’s salvation –there is no sin beyond his

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people but for all of creation! And it is a distraction because it focuses our attention on our last awaking – “eternal life” – a fact of life upon which we have as much control as our conception and birth, distracting us from what should be our true focus – living our belovedness here and now!

Our present day obsession with salvation and eternal life is incomplete because it presumes that our salvation is not assured, when in Jesus it has been revealed not only for all

Here in these three short verses, Paul lays out his hope and desire for the church: that we may know what is our hope, what are the riches of our inheritance, and what is the great power we have together.

CROSSINGS |CROSSINGS Christ Church | Christ GrosseChurch Pointe/Pentecost CROSSINGS Grosse Pointe/Fall 2022 | Christ 2024 Church Grosse Pointe/Homecoming 2024

So, let’s dive in!

What is the hope to which you have been called? The hope is not eternal life beyond our mortal death, as if our hope is waiting for us “out there somewhere.” Rather the great hope that Paul has for the church (and for the world, no doubt) it is something eternal – that is something that preceded your first breath, is present here and now with every waking breath you take (thank you Sting), and shall fill us yet again when our mortal frame breathes its last. This, of course, is the eternal love of God. What is our hope? That we may know the eternal love of God for us and for all the world. That we may know and comprehend within every fiber of our being that the same love which bedazzled the sky with infinite stars and galaxies, which raised up mountains and cedars and filled the great depths with waters wide and deep, this eternal love gave life and breath to you, dreamt you in to be, and celebrates all that is unique and distinctive about you. Perhaps no one says this better than Saint Francis de Sales as he writes: CONSIDER the Eternal Love God has for you: even before our Lord Jesus Christ became Man and suffered on the Cross for you, God in his Majesty designed your existence and loved you. When did He begin to love you?

When He began to be God, and that was never, for He ever was, without beginning and without end. Even so He always loved you from eternity, and therefore He made ready all the graces and gifts with which He has endowed you. He says by His prophet Jeremiah to you (and to all) “I have

loved YOU with an everlasting love, therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.”

Yes, this is Paul’s hope – that you will know the eternal love of God for you.

An eternal love has breathed life – life abundant and life eternal – into you!

If God’s love is our hope, what then are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints? The riches of our inheritance are those places where this very love – the eternal love of God – comes to be known and encountered! And those places are rarer that you may think!

You see, there are, I pray, many places where we come to know that we are loved, the home being first among them. I pray that every one of our homes is a place where we may each come to know how beloved we are. . . but here’s the catch – the home is the place where we are supposed to be loved and so what we come to learn at home is love of family …. Which is not quite the same as the eternal love of God! And what of the school and the soccer field or the work place – I pray, too, that each of these is also a source of love and reception for everyone . . . yet, behind them all is the hint of success and accolade – loved are the A students, loved are the soccer stars, loved are the standout employees. But what of the rest of us? What about the part of us that isn’t an A student or a star athlete or the standout at anything? Where do we encounter such love? I would argue that there is only one place that this great and eternal love is truly and regularly encountered – here in the Church among the people of God. Now, I

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don’t mean only here at Christ Church, or even only within the Christian Church. But I do mean, only within a genuine community that receives all, loves all, and forgives all. A place were we can fail miserably and return again tomorrow. A place where we can be truly known – that best of ourselves and the worst of our selves – and yet know that the door is open and the light left on in the hopes that we will return.

And that is not the school or the soccer field or the workplace . . . fail miserably at any one of those and you’ll be boxing up your belongings tomorrow.

And so I will say, I don’t care where you go – but go somewhere. Enter into that house where the door to God’s love is always open and the light of God’s love always shines. Find that place – may it be here for you and for all – where you come to know and encounter God’s love.

This place is the great pearl that we share – a place of remarkable love and affection.

Finally, what is the immeasurable greatness of God’s power for us who believe? That, together, we can create a haven, right here in the very midst of this broken, where God’s mercy and love is known, encountered, and proclaimed. God has empowered his people – implored his people even! – to follow the way of Jesus to create the very kingdom of heaven here and now, in whatever nook or cranny of society within which they reside.

Illustration: Life of Paul, Aidan Hart with contributions from Andrew Jamieson, © 2002 The Saint John’s Bible, SaintJohn’s University, Collegeville, Minnesota, USA. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

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Living With Grief: A Participant’s Experience

By Susan Tobbe

”Do not let not your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; If that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14:1-4) It doesn’t have to be the end. It isn’t the end. We can learn. We can heal.

In spirit with and as a follow up to Mother Maureen’s article in the Pentecost edition of Crossings, I was apprehensive as I didn’t know what to expect when I signed up to participate in the Living With Grief workshop.

The workshop was held mid-April to mid-May of this year and hosted by Mother Maureen and parishioners Sue Chaklos, Marisa Bennett and Sarah Clark. Clearly the title, “Living With Grief” provided an awareness of the delicate subject matter; nevertheless, what evolved for many, if not all of us, was perhaps a journey to newly found courage, understanding, friendship, and strength. A journey to living with grief and in community, Christ’s community.

We were asked to bring a photograph to the first meeting. This photo, of course, was specific to the individual who had passed. Goodness, what photo should I bring? What photos do I still have? It certainly couldn’t have been a recent photo as my childhood friend passed away five years ago and hadn’t taken too many photos years before her passing.

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While my choice was important and probably overthought, what was most important was the photographs placed me face to face with my old friend once again. My grief. I ended up choosing two – one when we were both in high school and the other when she was a bridesmaid in my wedding at Christ Church.

The photos reminded me of the many experiences we shared; both good and bad. The photos reminded me of growing up together and how much I missed her. They served as a stark reminder that her life was gone too soon, yet I still had some healing work to do. My grief.

Again, all these years later I felt those common emotions associated with loss, i.e., anger, sadness, and grief; however, I was now invited to embark on a journey to understand my grief in a new way with the guidance of our hosts and the other participants. I was introducing my old friend to new friends. I was accepting the possibility of being vulnerable in front of others and after the first night, I knew it was okay.

Sometimes it feels as though once a funeral is over, we must stop grieving, go on with our lives and pack away what once was. Certainly we do carry on but we do not have to neatly (or messily) pack away our grief. We now don’t have to search for the “right” photo because it’s already on the mantle or side table.

We can learn to live with grief in a different way. This journey workshop to “Living With Grief” confirmed this for me. Through our weekly prayers

and thoughtful conversations, I am learning a new way to process and live with my loss as a process and not a final stop.

Of course, we all have different experiences; nevertheless, the more our group evolved, it became evident the more alike we are, i.e., we wanted to share our losses in a more intimate way. We wanted to express our feelings safely in fellowship and in a workshop of learning and healing. The ultimate collage of our photographs introduced me to a shared world of loss but also a shared world of love. As Mother Maureen stated in Crossings, when a death occurs “life is changed, not ended.” My journey continues.

I was profoundly moved by my experience in this workshop; however, the term “workshop” or “class” seems so “educational” and doesn’t lend itself to the conversation which ensued.

Throughout our spiritual work, I felt as though I was with life-long friends in my living room (or theirs) - asking questions and seeking understanding about our common grief. Our hosts provided us with thought provoking coursework, including poems and prayers. Our participation was encouraged but not mandatory. Our hosts were the water and we were the seeds. My friend’s name was Amy and I miss her. Blessings to you.

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6) For more information or to attend the next Living With Grief session, December 5, 12, 19 and January 9, contact mmartin@christchurchgp.org.

CROSSINGS | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/PentecostCROSSINGS 2022 | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/Fall 2024

The Ecstasies Above Sunday, October 27, 2024, 4 pm Lakeshore Chamber Singers String Quartet TBD Scott Hanoian, artistic director

Ethel Smyth Mass in D

Free-will offering

Join Scott Hanoian and the relaunch of the Lakeshore Chamber Singers in a concert featuring Tarik O’Regan’s work based on the poetry of Edgar Allan Poe The Ecstasies Above. The concert will also feature the music of Caroline Shaw, Melissa Dunphy, ¬Ēriks Ešenvalds, and John Rutter.

Sunday, November 24, 2024 4 pm Christ Church Chorale and Orchestra Pre-concert lecture at 3 pm

$25

Journey of Generosity Pledging is an act of worship – thanking God for all God has done for us.

Pledging is an act of love – sharing our abundance to help others experience the joy and love of Christ.

Pledging is an act of faith – reminding ourselves that our greatest joy is found not in our wealth, but in God’s love for us and for all.

Thank you to all who have made a pledge to support God’s ministry at Christ Church.

Thank you for joining us in our worship, love, and faith!

Dr. & Mrs. Anthony Alcantara Mr. & Mrs. Dave Anderson Ms. Lynn Anslow Mr. Joel Anyim Mrs. Barbara Arrigo Mr. & Mrs. Rodney Arroyo Dr. & Dr. Eric Ash Mr. & Mrs. Len Azzaro Mr. & Mrs. Michael Bamford Ms. Martha Bangs Mr. & Mrs. Sandy Baruah Dr. Richard Baumgarten & Dr. Cheryl Wesen Mr. & Mrs. Dominic Bennett Mr. & Mrs. John Benson Mr. & Mrs. Richard Best Mr. & Mrs. Brad Blaine Mrs. Stephanie Blatt Ms. Antoinette Book Miss Terry Book Mr. & Mrs. Michael Bowe Dr. Jerry Brackett & Ms. Karen Kienbaum Ms. Libby Candler Mr. & Mrs. David Chaklos Mr. & Ms. William Champion, III Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Chesterton Ms. Sarah Clark Ms. Lauren Clune Mr. & Mrs. William Collison Mrs. Betsy Creedon Mr. William Cudlip Mr. Henry Darlington Mr. Michael DeFillipi & Mr. David Gerdis Mr. & Mrs. Peter Durand Mr. & Mrs. Edward Evans, III Mr. Steven Fehniger Mr. & Mrs. Peter Ferrara Mr. & Mrs. Ed Fitzgerald Mrs. Martha Ford Mrs. Shirley Fortune Mrs. Hadley French Mr. David Gaskin Mr. John Gillooly & Mrs. Ebony Duff

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Mrs. Carol Gove Mrs. Christine Gretchko Mr. Anton & Dr. Betsy Hall Mr. & Mrs. Scott Hanoian Mrs. Elizabeth Hardwick Mr. Mark Higbie & Mrs. Gretchen Knoell Mr. & Mrs. Henry Hubbard Mr. & Mrs. Peter Huebner Mr. & Mrs. Matthew Hurley Ms. Terri Lyn Huston Ms. Lynnette Iannace Mrs. Cheryl Johns Mr. & Mrs. Edward Johnson, Jr Mr. & Mrs. Robert Johnson Mr. & Mrs. Ian Jones Mr. & Ms. James Kastner Ms. Barbara Kennedy Mr. Robert Kingscott & Mrs. Susan Mara Mr. & Ms. Garland Knight, III Mr. & Mrs. Michael Labadie Mrs. Ann Lesesne Ms. Lynda Loch Mr. & Mrs. Mark Lorenger Mr. & Mrs. Terrance Lynch Mr. & Mrs. Edwin MacKethan, III Mr. Brian & Dr. Lisa MacLean Mr. & Mrs. Kevin Magee Dr. Michael Marsh Mr. David & The Rev’d Maureen Martin Mr. & Mrs. Roger Mason Mr. & Mrs. Charles Mathews Ms. Nadine Mathis Mrs. Margaret Maycock Mr. & Mrs. John McCormick Mr. & Mrs. Kenneth McIntyre Mrs. Helen McKnight Mrs. Lucinda McMahon Mr. & Mrs. James McMillan, II Mr. & Mrs. George Nicholson, III Dr. & Mrs. Peter Nickles Mr. & Mrs. Frank Niscoromni Mr. & Mrs. Blair Osborn Mr. & Mrs. Dennis Partridge

CROSSINGS | Christ Church Grosse Pointe/Fall 2024

Mr. & Mrs. Brian Peabody Mr. & Mrs. Tedmund Pryor Mr. & Mrs. David Redfield Mr. & Mrs. Michael Reich Mrs. Nancy Renick Mr. & Mrs. Alfred Reuther, Jr. Mr. & Mrs. Brendan Ross Mr. Charles Ruifrok Mr. & Mrs. Gregg Russell Ms. Helen Santiz Mr. & Mrs. Lloyd Semple Ms. Penelope Slough Ms. Carol Smith Mr. Jeffrey Smith & Mrs. Lisa Vallee Smith Mr. John Snyder Mr. & Mrs. Conrad Squitieri Mr. & Mrs. Jan Starr Mr. & Mrs. Frank Stellingwerf Mr. & Mrs. George Sutton Ms. Amie Sweeney Mr & Mrs Donald N. Sweeny III David Tarrant Ms. Sarah Teachey Mrs. Emily Tennyson Mr. & Mrs. David Tobbe Mr. & Mrs. Allan Torp Mr. & Mrs. Richard Trost The Rev’d & Mrs. Andrew Van Culin Mrs. Charlene Vickers Mrs. Barbara Wachter Mrs. Beverly Walsh Dr. & Mrs. Kenneth Walters Mrs. Salome Walton Mr. & Mrs. John Warren, Jr Adam and Rema Waugh Mrs. Lynda Webster Ms. Karyn Weir Mr. & Mrs. Timothy Whims Ms. Kathy Williams Timothy & Elizabeth Wood Mrs. Margaret Woodford Mr. John Woodhouse & Ms. Susan Vercruysse Mr. & Mrs. Luther Zinn

Living with Grief Winter Session

December 5th, 12th, 19th, January 9th 6 - 8:30 pm | Miller Hall Join Mtr. Maureen and a team of trained lay women and men for a 4-week encounter with grief for people who are mourning the loss of someone they love. Each class is centered in prayer, scripture, and story.

For more information or to register, please contact The Rev’d Maureen Martin, mmartin@christchurchgp.org.

Save the Date!

& Parish Christmas Party

December 13 | 6 - 9 pm Now accepting donations/commitments for: • Silent Auction • Marketplace (baked goods/homemade items) • Tin Can Raffle • Dinners Around Town

All net proceeds benefit the Carstens Literacy Initiative

For more information contact Colleen Fitzgerald, cfitzgerald@christchurchgp.org