课 cppdsm4056 manage conflict and disputes in the property industry

___________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

CPPDSM4056 (Elective) Manage Conflict and Disputes in the Property Industry

Learner Guide © The Australian Salesmasters Training Co

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

Contact Page

Australian Salesmasters Training Co P/L Registered Training Organisation #6854

Phone:

(02) 9700 9333

Fax:

(02) 9700 8988

Email:

Info@thesalesmasters.com.au

Mail:

PO BOX 638, Rosebery, NSW 2018

www.thesalesmasters.com.au

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Š Australian Salesmasters Training Co P/L (ASTC) ASTC believes that the content of these notes and checklists are accurate and current at the time of printing. ASTC does not make any warranty of any kind, what so ever expressed or implied, with respect to the contents. It is the responsibility of the real estate professional using the notes and checklist to verify any information before relying on it.

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

COURSE AGENDA

CONTENTS

UNIT DESCRIPTOR ............................................................................................... 5

LEARNER ACTIVITIES ....................................... ERROR! BOOKMARK NOT DEFINED.

ELEMENT 1 – ASSESS CONFLICT OR DISPUTE ....................................................... 7

ELEMENT 2 – NEGOTIATE RESOLUTION ............................................................ 26

ELEMENT 3 – EVALUATE RESPONSE.................................................................. 83

CONCLUSION .................................................................................................... 92

ACTS REGULATIONS AND FORMS ...................................................................... 93

OUR MOST SOUGHT AFTER PRODUCTS AND SERVICES ..................................... 94

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

CPPDSM4056 MANAGE CONFLICT AND DISPUTES IN THE PROPERTY INDUSTRY UNIT DESCRIPTOR This unit of competency specifies the outcomes required to use communication techniques to manage and resolve conflict and disputes in the property industry. It requires the ability to assess conflict or dispute situations, accurately receive and relay information, adapt interpersonal styles and techniques to varying social and cultural environments, and evaluate responses.

The unit may form part of the licensing requirements for persons working in the property industry including in the real estate sector in those States and Territories where these are regulated activities.

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

ELEMENT OF COMPETENCY ELEMENT

PERFORMANCE CRITERIA

1 Assess conflict or dispute.

1.1

1.2

1.3

1.4 1.5

Conflict or dispute is identified and responses are evaluated according to organisational and legislative requirements.

Causes of conflict or dispute are recognised and appropriate responses to prevent escalation are identified according to organisational procedures.

Effective observation and active listening skills are used to elicit and interpret verbal and non-verbal information.

Effective communication techniques are used to ensure an accurate exchange of information.

Situations requiring specialist advice are identified and assistance is sought as required according to organisational requirements.

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

ELEMENT 1 – ASSESS CONFLICT OR DISPUTE GETTING STARTED There are many ways to resolve conflicts - surrendering, running away, overpowering your opponent with violence, filing a lawsuit, etc. Conflict resolution, grew out of the belief that there are better options than using violence or going to court. Today, conflict resolution is used in a wide range of industries covering an array of different situations.

This unit will demonstrate the six-step process to resolve conflicts of any size. You will also learn crucial conflict resolution skills, including dealing with anger and using the Agreement Frame.

Learning Objectives Research has consistently demonstrated that when clear goals are associated with learning, it occurs more easily and rapidly. With that in mind, let’s review our goals for today.

At the end of this unit, participants should: • • • • • • •

Understand what conflict and effective conflict resolution means.

Understand all six phases of the conflict resolution process.

Understand the five main styles of conflict resolution.

Be able to adapt the process for all types of conflicts.

Be able to break out parts of the process and use those tools to prevent conflict.

Be able to use basic communication tools, such as the agreement frame and open questions.

Be able to use basic anger and stress management techniques.

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

INTRODUCTION TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION It is very easy to view all conflict as negative, but this is not true. We are all different and those differences can sometimes emerge as conflict. Viewing conflict in this way can help us consider the possible positive outcomes of the problem at hand. This workshop will introduce conflict resolution processes that will help you better understand those differences, enabling you interact in a more positive and productive way.

Causes of conflict or dispute….Conflict, What Is It? Let’s look at the true meaning of conflict. The Dictionary defines conflict as, “to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash.”

Wherever people live and work together there will be tensions and disagreements. Whilst some are relatively minor skirmishes which soon blow over; others become entrenched and simmer away for years. A few escalate and explode into serious strife.

Some examples of conflict can include: • • • •

Executives receive a 10% pay increase whilst shop floor employees are laid off.

An employee gains permission to work from home whilst other employees are refused.

One department refuses to work with another due to a personality clash with management.

One employee is bullied by their supervisor.

Workplace conflicts will be our main focus during this workshop; however the tools we utilise can be used in personal situations also.

Conflict can also be healthy for an organisation. Conflict can sometimes increase motivation and competitiveness in certain situations.

• • •

Two companies vie for the top market share.

Several sales people work to be the top salesperson.

AFL teams work towards playing at the grand final

These examples of conflict can result in greater success, whether “success” means a better product, better teamwork, better processes, lower prices, trophies, or medals.

Everyone experiences conflict – it’s how you deal with it that matters.

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

What is Effective Conflict Resolution?

Conflict resolution can be obtained in many different ways, from mutual agreement to completely wiping out your opponent. Few of us can deny that the conflict of World War 2 was eventually resolved, but at what cost? If Germany had won the war, this would also mark the resolution to the conflict. This would imply that conflict resolution has no right or wrong outcome, only a subsidence of the conflict. Effective Conflict Resolution implies a satisfactory outcome to the conflict which satisfies all parties.

Some common conflict resolution terms include: •

Mediation: A process to resolve differences, conducted by an impartial third party.

•

Mediator: In impartial person who conducts a process to resolve differences.

•

Dispute Resolution: The name given to any process aimed at resolving differences between two parties.

•

Apparent Conflict: A situation where the conflict is in the open.

•

Hidden Conflict: A situation where the conflict is not in the open.

•

Destructive Conflict: can result in heavy organisational and personal costs.

•

Constructive Conflict: can enhance problem solving, and decision making

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

Understanding the Effective Conflict Resolution Process Conflict comes in many forms, and our process will help you in any situation. Below you can find a brief overview of how we are going to spend most of this workshop.

Although we have outlined the various conflict resolution phases in a particular order and with a particular grouping, that doesn’t mean that you have to use all the phases all the time.

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1.4 Effective communication techniques are used to ensure an accurate exchange of information COMMUNICATION Running a business in the property industry relies very much on effective communication.

This is true of any client-focused service business.

Communicating well with clients requires more than just luck. It requires good skills incorporating the right technique and a positive commitment to the client.

Rapport?

If you have rapport with another person then you understand each other very well. It is also about mutual trust and respect. People often talk about meeting someone and having instant rapport with him or her, but in fact rapport is important throughout a relationship.

Both parties need to work at maintaining rapport in the business relationship.

Who are our clients?

A general definition of clients might be anyone who utilises the organisation’s services.

The broad business philosophy behind client service suggests that clients are all who deal with the organisation, and not just principals (people who pay a fee for work undertaken on their behalf). This broader definition can include property occupants, council staff and even the photocopier salesperson. These clients, who are from outside the organisation, are referred to as external clients.

The wider theory of client or customer relations also includes those who are internal to the organisation. One department receives service from another and is a client of that department. In dealing with your internal clients, you should use the same communication skills as you use with your external clients.

However, as commonly used in the property industry, the word ‘client’ best describes those who pay you a fee. In this reading we will focus on establishing positive relations with external customers—in other words, building rapport.

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Forms of communication It is worthwhile considering the forms of client communication that can occur in agency practice. The obvious ones are: • • •

face-to-face—where the agent and client relate interpersonally telephone—the ever-present tool written— not only business letters, meeting notices, agendas and minutes reports but also electronic writing such as emails and websites and social media

First impressions

When clients meet you for the first time, they will form an opinion of you within the first ninety seconds or so. This first impression is difficult to change so it’s important to work at making it positive.

The greeting Smiles are infectious. If you greet someone with a smile, more than likely they will respond with a smile of their own. A warm greeting starts the relationship off well.

Then, offering a hand to shake is also an accepted business norm.

Do not be afraid to shake hands with women as most women in Australia accept this as a normal business greeting. If an older woman or someone from another culture does not respond, just withdraw your hand and carry on with the greeting.

You should aim to be friendly, looking the client in the eye as you speak which is honest body language. Sound keen and enthusiastic: the client should feel that nothing is too much trouble for you.

Non-verbal communication Just imagine you are an owner seeking to find a property manager who can manage their property competently. If the property manager doesn’t make eye contact with you and keeps looking at his watch as you try to speak to them, how would you feel?

You might get the feeling that they are not interested in doing business with you.

Maybe they've got something very worrying on their mind and just can’t help showing it but they have certainly lost the opportunity to establish rapport at that moment.

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Did you know that, when we communicate with someone, about 75% of our message is non-verbal? In other words it is not spoken. So we have to be just as careful of our body language as of the words that we use, if not more so. Our appearance and the way we greet clients are examples of non-verbal communication, but there are lots of other kinds of nonverbal communication too.

BODY LANGUAGE Body language refers to those gestures, postures and facial expressions that people use to communicate non-verbally with each other. Body language is critical to building rapport.

You can use it to gauge your client’s mood, or to project a certain mood yourself. You can observe clients’ initial body language and then moderate how you approach them.

Observing posture There are two basic types of posture, closed and open.

A closed body posture is probably the most obvious. People with arms folded, legs crossed and bodies turned away are signalling that they are either not interested in receiving messages or they are rejecting the ones that they are hearing.

People displaying open gestures are also easy to pick. They might initiate a handshake, fully face you, offer a warm smile and lean forward or nod enthusiastically as you speak. This type of person is generally more at ease from the beginning, so you don’t have to work as hard to establish rapport.

Sometimes body language isn’t so obvious or easy to interpret. If clients lean back, look up at the ceiling, doodle on a pad or clean their glasses while you speak, does this mean that they are not interested in what you are saying or are rejecting your message? Perhaps this is simply their preferred style: listening passively but still absorbing what you have to say. If you are not sure, measure their mood by asking questions, using empathy and generally getting them to open up and tell you what they want. Above all, listen.

Careful observation and experience in dealing with a range of clients will prove the best teacher.

Using posture You can use body language to project a confident, friendly image to clients. However, it does take practice to control your body language. Here are some ideas to help you.

• Don’t adopt a closed posture yourself. This can form a barrier between yourself and the client and this may stifle the conversation.

• Turn your body towards the speaker. This is an open and positive body language posture, showing you have nothing to hide.

• Lean forward to show interest, but take care not to lean so close as to invade the other person’s personal space.

• Appear relaxed and receptive. The more relaxed you are the more relaxed and open the enquirer will become.

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Eye contact Eye contact is one of the most important elements of non-verbal communication. It shows you are giving your client your full attention, which in turn creates rapport. You can ascertain if they are listening to you if they maintain eye contact.

If you do not make eye contact, your client may feel that you are hiding something; proper eye contact creates the trust that is so important in establishing and maintaining the business relationship. It is also about confidence; any enquirer wants to deal with a confident manager rather than one who is ill-at-ease or not interested.

Gestures Gestures are also critical to making the right impression. Standing with your hands on your hips or summoning people with a wave will not create a positive impression. Crossing your arms in front of your body will seem defensive. When dealing with a client, try to keep your hands loosely folded or at your sides.

Cultural differences It is important to be aware that many cultures and nationalities have differing expectations of how clients should be treated. Many cultures are much more formal than we are in Australia.

For example, using first names might be considered rude in some cultures, as may direct questions and enquiries about personal matters. Then again, in other cultures, asking direct and personal questions might be more acceptable than it is in Australia.

Physical contact is another area where practices and expectations can vary a great deal between countries. Shaking hands is a good example: whether to do it at all, whether to shake gently or firmly—it all depends on the culture that the other person comes from.

People may also interpret your gestures differently from the way you intended them. Some gestures are considered quite offensive by particular cultures.

As a general rule, it’s best to use formal manners at first and let the client set the standard.

Observe your client’s reactions if you are not sure. If you are dealing with people from other countries on a regular basis, it’s a good idea to find out about their culture to avoid making embarrassing mistakes.

Putting clients at ease No matter what type of enquiry you’re handling, your first goal must be to put the enquirer at ease. If enquirers are comfortable they will ‘open up’ and you will be able to get the information you need from them in a relaxed and open way.

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For example, if you have a meeting with a new client, the worst thing you could do would be to go bounding over offering a handshake and introducing yourself loudly. This probably wouldn’t put the client at ease.

The best way to break the ice would be to approach, smile, introduce yourself in a moderate voice and then stand back a little.

Clients don’t need you in their personal space. The smaller or frailer they are, the more important it is to give them a little distance and moderate your approach. Don’t stand too close and tower over them. It’s better to offer them a seat and sit opposite them; this puts them on an equal footing with you.

Remember that, when you’re in the office, you’re on ‘home turf’—familiar territory. So naturally you feel relaxed—but don’t let your familiarity with your work surroundings make you careless. Use empathy. Look at the meeting through your clients’ eyes: they may be nervous, uncertain or apprehensive.

Personal space

All people have a sense of personal space—the minimum distance in which they feel comfortable with another person. It is an invisible volume of space—close to you at the back, a little wider at the sides, and larger in front.

The actual distance varies between cultures. Nationalities with large personal spaces can seem cold or distant to us while others with small ones may seem pushy or aggressive. It’s all in the subconscious but it definitely has a noticeable effect on how we react to others, especially to those with whom we are unfamiliar.

There is also a city/country divide in this respect. City people are acclimatised to being close while country people are not. Notice that, when shaking hands with a farmer, they will lean forward and extend their hand as though reaching through yours and their personal space to greet you.

So it is best to maintain a respectful distance between your client and yourself and not get too close.

Touching

Don’t touch people. This relates to personal space and a person’s comfort zone. After an initial handshake, touching a person to emphasise a point or to show closeness is not advisable. It is a personal gesture that has no real place in business—particularly in the case of opposite sexes, where the touch could easily be misinterpreted.

Focus

Resist distractions in the environment. Give the enquirer your full attention. Responding to distractions might be interpreted as rude, signalling that you are not interested in what the enquirer has to say.

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Don’t look at your watch. One of the fastest ways to let clients know that you are not thinking about what they are saying is to look at your watch while they are talking. Do this and you run the risk of indicating that you would rather be somewhere else. This does not build rapport.

Verbal Communication Verbal communication takes place both in a face-to-face situation and on the telephone.

The main difference is that, when you use the telephone with a client, neither of you can interpret the other’s body language.

Using names

One thing to learn pretty quickly in any job is that most people like to be greeted by name.

Do you like it when people remember your name? How do you feel if you say ‘Hello Mr Smith’ and he replies ‘Oh, hello Mrs …’?

Is Mr Smith being deliberately rude, or does he really not know your name and is embarrassed about it? To save yourself embarrassment, it really is worthwhile taking the trouble to find out the names of people your organisation deals with regularly.

You will notice that clients really respond to having a personal relationship with a service provider who knows them by name. They will go back again and again to ‘my barber’, ‘my coffee shop’ or ‘my mechanic’ simply because they unconsciously feel there is a personal connection there.

Whether you should use first or second names, using the first name seemed friendlier but in some situations may seem impolite. Until on a first-name basis with clients, use their title, such as Mr Smith or Mrs Jones. Invite clients to use your given name during the meeting and they often do the same. Use a client’s name at the beginning, at the end and during an interaction. This helps to remember it, as well as creating rapport with the client. Clients usually seem pleased that you’re bothered.

Using empathy

The key to developing a good rapport with a client is the ability to listen well and empathise with them. This means being able to: • • • •

have an understanding of the other side’s position ‘put yourself in their shoes’—try to see things from their perspective recognise their needs and wants use active listening techniques as they speak

For your part, your responses should be positive and enthusiastic, showing that you have concentrated on what was said and focusing on the content of the discussion.

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Empathy enhances the exchange of information. The tone of communication tends to be positive and concentrates on the needs and expectations of the parties involved.

Active listening techniques Here is a really good technique to learn to make sure you really understood what clients were saying. It’s called active listening. Active listening involves participating in the conversation with the other person by such means as using questioning skills to show that you have understood the message that the client is trying to relate.

It also involves paying attention to the whole of the message and repeating in your own words what you think has been said. This is called paraphrasing. Paraphrasing focuses on content rather than feelings. You can use phrases such as ‘Do you mean …’ or ‘What I am hearing you say, is…’.

Here is an example from a conversation with Mrs Petersen: Mrs Petersen: We have a problem with the young people here …

You: Do you mean some of the tenants in the block?

Mrs Petersen: Not just them, they are all over the front yard…

You: What I am hearing you say is that young people are congregating in the front yard, is that right?

Mrs Petersen: Well, it’s on their way to the hotel over there.

You: So they use the front yard as a shortcut?

Mrs Petersen: Yes exactly! It can be scary at night with people walking all around!

By using skilful questioning and active listening, you can obtain the necessary detail and fulfil your client’s expectations that they have explained themselves well. When you paraphrase like this, it gives clients a chance to confirm what they mean or gives them the opportunity to give more information until they are sure you clearly understand their message.

Being aware of your language When talking to your clients, it is important to use language that suits the situation you are in. Inappropriate language makes establishing rapport unlikely. For example, you would use polite formal greetings in an office situation or the specific phrases needed for answering the telephone, for example ‘Putting you through now’. Here are some other factors to remember.

•

•

Avoid colloquial language—you should use appropriate, clear English when you speak.

You can be friendly but you must also be businesslike. Being overly friendly with new contacts is unprofessional and reflects badly on your organisation. Using casual language such as ‘see ya’ or ‘dunno’ is not appropriate in a business setting.

Avoid highly technical language or jargon. Using technical jargon may be appropriate in some business settings but could confuse clients. So keep your language simple. The

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use of acronyms (abbreviations) may also be a problem if your client is not familiar with the abbreviated form. Many government departments, for instance, are known by their acronyms but you should always use the full title. For example, instead of ‘the OFT’ you would say the ‘Office of Fair Trading’.

Tone of voice

Your tone of voice conveys a great deal about the real message you are sending. You can also use clients’ tone of voice to find out how they are feeling.

Timing

We all have a sense of rhythm or timing in conversation and some people are better at it than others. Do you finish people’s sentences for them? Do you have trouble waiting for people to finish what they are saying? All people need time to clarify what they want and appreciate being given that time. If you do this, you are showing empathy and understanding. If you show by your body language that you are frustrated with a person taking too long, you may unsettle them so much that it will take more time to complete the business. If you either rush someone or take up more time than is necessary, you can destroy any goodwill created earlier.

Saying goodbye

How you end interactions with clients is just as important as how you start them. After all, this is the final impression of you that they will take home with them.

Five things to remember are: • be friendly • be polite • use the client’s name • thank them • anticipate your next meeting Try to avoid over-used expressions such as ‘Have a nice day’.

Here is a procedure for a successful ‘goodbye’ using the client’s name and being polite and friendly as well as thanking them and anticipating the next meeting: 1 2 3

Ask clients if they have all the information they need.

Tell them what will happen from here.

Assure them of good service.

If you are behind a counter with no way out, offer your hand for shaking and say goodbye. If you are in an interview room, stand up, shake hands and then walk your client to the door, saying goodbye.

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Using the telephone Of course, we couldn’t run this business without telephones and mobiles. We can all keep in touch with our clients and with each other. However, there are a few strategies that you should keep in mind when accepting or making phone calls.

Remember, the decision for someone to call you is outside your control. And those calls have a habit of occurring when your attention is focused on some other important task and time is an issue. However, you can never sound impatient, as often a phone call is a ‘seed’ to new business.

There are a couple of techniques you can use to shorten any lengthy calls to suit you and keep them to the productive business point: Firstly, be ready to take down details of any call. Don’t back off a new caller by making them wait for you to grab a pen or diary.

Secondly, rejoinders that steer the conversation are very useful. For example, ‘…so what is a better time for you, Thursday afternoon, or even Friday morning?’

And when you talk on the telephone, always try to sound positive and enthusiastic—be willing to answer questions and show you are courteous and helpful. And always try to use a greeting such as, ‘”Thank you for calling” and then identify yourself or the organisation by name to the caller: “Thank you for calling ABC Realty. This is Sarah Jones. How may I help you?”

Another popular identification is:

People want to speak to a person, not an anonymous voice!

Also, remember that the telephone is a very impersonal instrument. Your voice always sounds ‘flatter’ over the phone. Try to vary your vocal tone and voice modulation more. A good tip is to smile. If you are smiling, the timbre or tone of your voice naturally lifts and you sound enthusiastic.

Finally, try to remember that over the phone you can’t see the other person. In face-to-face conversation, non-verbal signals (body language) let you offer a welcome or emphasise a point. Over the phone you don’t have the benefit of being able to read the other person’s body language, so it is often necessary to draw out a clear understanding of the requirements of the caller by using appropriate questioning techniques.

Delays

The property industry is a service business. A slow response to a ringing telephone is poor business practice, as it will give clients a bad impression of the organisation.

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Things can get busy but it is important that all new incoming calls are answered after just 34 rings. However, try not to answer after just one ring, because this might startle the caller.

When another call comes in and no-one else can answer it, ask the caller you are with, whether he or she minds if you answer the new call and—here’s a tip—wait for the answer before you do. Too often callers hear a rushed ‘please hold’ and the person is gone.

When answering the new call, if you cannot quickly switch the call to another staff member then take a message and inform the caller that you will pass the message on to the relevant person. Then return to your original caller and begin by apologising for the delay. Small courtesies matter in business, no matter who you are.

Automated telephone systems

If your organisation has an automated telephone system, callers might hear music while they are on hold. Take care when selecting the type of music callers will hear. Light music is better than loud head-banging music or droning talkback, if you pick a radio station. You might also consider having a recording of some corporate information (about the services your organisation offers, for example) for clients to listen to while they wait.

Voicemail

If callers leave a voicemail message, they need and expect a response. If no-one checks the messages regularly and actions these messages, then the organisation runs the risk of annoying the caller. It usually falls upon the receptionist to clear the message bank but everyone in the organisation should be trained to retrieve the calls. Enquiries are the lifeblood of the business and all need to be actioned promptly. Miss doing this or be slow in doing so and a caller might rightly wonder if the rest of the business association will be marked with similar slack treatment.

Clearing the message bank should form part of the morning set-up duties in the same way as turning on the computer. Most agents use mobile phones, so messages can be passed on to them even if they are out of the office.

Mobile Phone Etiquette Most property professionals carry a mobile phone. In fact, in a small organisation they are vital to gaining new business as the principal/s are often in the field. So don’t forget to recharge the phone.

A few more considerations that apply to mobile phone use: •

Don’t use them while driving—this is illegal, unless you use a hands-free kit.

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• • • •

Try to remember that most users will raise their voice, especially when they are in a noisy location.

Turn your mobile off at the theatre, cinema or other similar event.

Switch the phone off at meetings and during appointments with clients.

If you must leave it on in a meeting, excuse yourself to take the call.

Developing and maintaining business relationships Handling property enquiries and forming appropriate responses should be a positive experience: • •

acting on first contacts to establish a meaningful business relationship with the enquirer and then taking it to a conclusion that satisfies both parties

Is a challenge that all in the organisation should achieve well. From the client’s first approach through to the successful conclusion of the contact, there is the opportunity for the organisation to provide a quality service. The smaller the organisation, the greater is the need for all staff to have good customer relations skills.

Relational Marketing and Referral Business It should be the aim of any organisation to develop an initial contact into a longstanding relationship. There are two concepts at play here.

The first is relational marketing. Over time, clients’ needs change. Parties that engaged your services to manage their property may well do the same when they come to buy or, if they invest, to determine a current fair market rental. Tenants can become owners, or developers who are seeking a competent manager for their property, and so it goes on.

In fact, it’s surprising how much of the organisation’s activities can be repeat business.

Most property managers will handle the same property for a long period with a number of tenants coming and going. Also owners will move from one property to another and want “their” agent to handle the property for them and are likely to refer you to their friends. By definition, you offer a renewable service; if your work is competent and you have demonstrated good communication skills and developed a professional relationship with the client, you will be called on to attend to their other needs as time goes on. Better still, if that client is satisfied with your work, they will tell others about it! It all depends on building up a successful relationship. This is the best business an agency can win. However, it works both ways! If an initial dealing with a client is unsatisfactory, there will be no repeat business. I always make sure that my staff realise that a happy client is an ongoing advertisement for our agency’s services.

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) Trust and honesty

At the heart of any successful relationship is respect. Respect between people comes about when they: • • •

participate in a long, successful professional relationship observe each other’s actions and are impressed trust each other

The first two grow over time, but the third is important when initiating and then maintaining a successful business relationship. It is an essential ingredient of rapport.

Strategies to build trust and rapport 1

Be mindful of continually working towards developing trust.

If you are aware all the time that you are trying to build up trust, you can develop strategies to achieve this goal.

2

Respond to questions and enquiries accurately.

If you can show enquirers that you have access to the correct information then this will impress them. The more you have in memory the better. Attention to detail is the difference between an amateur and a professional.

3

Admit that you don’t know.

No-one could expect you to have all the answers to every property-related matter.

Don’t try to pretend you do, otherwise your credibility will disappear.

4

Respond to questions and enquiries promptly.

Equally, if you are prompt in your responses, clients will interpret this as a sign of honesty. If you are hesitant or faltering in your approach, then this rarely inspires confidence.

5

Try to work in an overview of the market when the opportunity presents.

Boring somebody does nothing to add to your credibility, but being able to tie your statements back to market evidence is a credible expert’s method.

6

Use language that is free of slang or exaggeration.

Slang is ‘loose’ language, informal in structure and sometimes offensive. At the very least, it isn’t precise—and your business relationship should be.

7

Look clients in the eye when you talk to them.

If someone does not look you in the eye, how do you feel? Do you think that they have something to hide, or are they just nervous, and if they are nervous, why? In any event, this is not something you want clients to be wondering while you’re talking to them.

Look them in the eye.

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8

Always seek extra clarification when it’s your turn to listen.

Clarifying shows you have been listening actively. Also, if you paraphrase what clients have just said to you then it will ring true for them.

9

Act confidentially.

Maintaining your principal’s confidentiality is more than good business practice – it is a common law duty. How can you act in the clients’ best interests if you disclose private and confidential information you have about them? Maintaining confidentiality is the same as maintaining trust. Breaking confidentiality is therefore dishonest and discreditable.

Don’t forget that honesty in business is the pillar of every service business's credibility. If you project a positive image to the wider market, business will flock to your door but if you ignore ethics and the statutory rules of conduct then your chances of successfully participating in the property industry will evaporate.

SITUATIONS REQUIRING SPECIALIST ADVICE ARE IDENTIFIED AND ASSISTANCE IS SOUGHT AS REQUIRED ACCORDING TO ORGANISATIONAL REQUIREMENTS •

Plumbers_____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

•

Electricians____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

•

Landscape Gardeners______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

•

Painters______________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

•

Architects_____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

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•

Builders/ Joiners__________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Locksmiths/ Burglar alarms__________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

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ELEMENT OF COMPETENCY ELEMENT

PERFORMANCE CRITERIA

2 Negotiate resolution.

2.1 Conflict or dispute is negotiated and resolved constructively using strategies that comply with established organisational procedures.

2.2 Negotiation techniques are used to maintain positive interaction, and divert and minimise aggressive behaviour.

2.3 Communication with others is conducted in a courteous manner that reflects sensitivity to individual, social and cultural differences according to organisational requirements.

2.4 Contradictions, ambiguity, uncertainty or misunderstandings are identified and clarified according to organisational procedures.

2.5 Factors that might impact on the safety or security of clients and colleagues are identified and appropriate responses or contingency measures are formulated and implemented.

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ELEMENT 2 – NEGOTIATE RESOLUTION As with many subjects that improve our working or personal environment, Effective Conflict Resolution has five widely accepted styles and processes. We will concentrate during this workshop on the collaborative style. There may be some situations that require a different style so during this section of the workshop we will touch on the other five styles.

Understanding all five styles and knowing when to use them is an important part of successful effective conflict resolution.

The Five styles include: • • • • •

Collaborating Competing Compromising Accommodating Avoiding

COLLABORATING Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative -- the complete opposite of avoiding.

Collaborating involves an attempt to work with others to find some solution that fully satisfies their concerns. It means digging into an issue to pinpoint the underlying needs and wants of the two individuals. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other's insights or trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem. This is the approach that we will use during this workshop.

The collaborative approach encourages parties in conflict to work together to develop a win-win solution. This approach promotes assertiveness (rather than aggressiveness or passiveness).

This style is appropriate when: • • • •

The situation is not urgent.

An important decision needs to be made.

The conflict involves a large number of people.

Previous conflict resolution attempts have failed

This style is not appropriate when: • •

A decision needs to be made urgently.

The matter is trivial.

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COMPETING Competing is assertive and uncooperative -- an individual pursues his own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power-oriented mode in which you use whatever power seems appropriate to win your own position -- your ability to argue, your rank, or economic sanctions. Competing means "standing up for your rights," defending a position which you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.

With a competitive approach, the person in conflict takes a firm stand. This style is often seen as aggressive, and can often cause, the other party to feel injured or stepped on.

This style is appropriate when: • • •

A decision needs to be made quickly (i.e., emergencies).

An unpopular decision needs to be made.

Someone is trying to take advantage of a situation.

This style is not appropriate when: • •

People are feeling sensitive about the conflict.

The situation is not urgent.

COMPROMISING Compromising is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. It falls intermediate between competing and accommodating. Compromising gives up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but does not explore it in as much depth as collaborating. In some situations, compromising might mean splitting the difference between the two positions, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground solution.

With the compromising approach, each person in the conflict gives up something that contributes towards the conflict resolution.

This style is appropriate when: • • •

A decision needs to be made sooner rather than later.

Resolving the conflict is more important than having each individual “win”.

Power between people in the conflict is equal.

This style is not appropriate when: • • •

A wide variety of important needs must be met.

The situation is extremely urgent.

One person holds more power than another.

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ACCOMMODATING Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative -- the complete opposite of competing.

When accommodating, the individual neglects his own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an element of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person's order when you would prefer not to, or yielding to another's point of view.

This style is one of the most passive conflict resolution styles. With this style, one of the parties in conflict gives up what they want so that the other party can have what they want.

In general, this style is not very effective, but it is appropriate in certain scenarios.

This style is appropriate when: • •

Maintaining the relationship is more important than winning.

The issue at hand is very important to the other person but is not important to you.

This style is not appropriate when: • •

The issue is important to you.

Accommodating will not permanently solve the problem.

AVOIDING Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative -- the person neither pursues his own concerns nor those of the other individual. Thus he does not deal with the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation.

People who use this style tend to accept decisions without question, avoid confrontation, and delegate difficult decisions and tasks. This is another passive approach that is typically not effective, but it does have its uses.

This style is appropriate when: • •

The issue is trivial.

The conflict will resolve itself soon.

This style is not appropriate when: • •

The issue is important to you.

The conflict will continue or get worse without attention.

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CREATING A COMMUNICATIVE AND POSITIVE ATMOSPHERE Creating a communicative atmosphere is a very important step in the effective conflict resolution process.

The people involved in the conflict will typically be negative. With emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment being only a few roadblocks you will have to contend with.

By establishing a positive communicative atmosphere, you can begin to turn that negative energy around, and create a powerful problem-solving force. This creates a sound foundation for the effective conflict resolution process to start.

Defuse Emotions Before beginning the effective conflict resolution process, there must be a willingness by both parties to resolve the conflict. This may seem a an obvious requirement but in some competing conflicts one party may not wish to discuss if there is any hint they may need to give any ground. Without buy-in from both sides, achieving a win-win solution is close to impossible.

Once participants have agreed that they do wish to resolve the conflict, it is important to defuse as many negative emotions as possible. This requires you to allow the participants in the conflict time to vent and work through the feelings associated with the conflict.

Key steps for the people in conflict include: • • •

Accept that you have negative feelings and that these feelings are normal.

Acknowledge the feelings and their root causes. Example: “I feel very angry that Marie never offers to make the tea.”

Identify how you might resolve your feelings. Example: “If Marie would offer to make the tea occasionally instead waiting for me to make it.”

This can generate ideas about what the root cause of the conflict is, and how to resolve it.

Example: “Marie’s work may be heavier than mine. I wonder if she might be having some stress and anxiety regarding her time.”

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Setting Ground Rules Ground rules provide a framework or a set of rules for people to resolve their conflict.

Ground rules should be set at the beginning of any effective conflict resolution process.

They can be very brief or very detailed – whatever the situation requires.

Ground rules should be: • • • • • •

Developed and agreed upon by both parties.

Positive when possible.

Fair to both parties Enforceable Adjustable Distributed to both parties who agree to the rules prior to the meeting taking place.

If the parties are using a mediator to help them resolve the conflict, it is important that the ground rules are developed by the parties and not the mediator. The mediator’s role is to guide and mentor, not to judge.

Some examples of ground rules include (including an explanation of its purpose): • Keep interactions respectful, even when feeling frustrated or hurt. Avoiding put-downs, name calling, interruptions, etc. This helps prevent conflict escalation.

• Maintain emotional control, even when feeling angry. Vent or redirect emotions to avoid yelling or other intimidating behaviour. This helps provide a safe environment for resolving differences.

• Keep interactions on "hot topics" within a structured process. Avoiding spontaneous discussions on such issues helps prevent unintended "blowups." Using a planned negotiation or mediation helps focus and balance communication about especially delicate issues.

• Show a willingness to understand. If others feel understood and acknowledged, they are more likely to collaborate when problem solving. This requires focusing on and empathising with what is being communicated by others rather just waiting for a turn to respond.

• Communicate honestly and openly. Holding back on what the real concerns are will only delay or complicate the resolution of differences.

• Be as objective as possible. Avoid speculation, rumours, and assumptions. Rely on personal observations and experiences or what can be independently verified through a credible witness or available documentation.

• Express concerns in a constructive manner. Each party describing which of his/her needs are not being met is typically better received by others than accusations or demands for change.

• Focus on future solutions rather than past blame. Emphasising what needs to be changed rather than who is at fault takes less time and energy and increases the chances of successful change.

• Look for solutions that meet everyone's needs. Using an approach that tries to find common ground or shared interests is the most effective way for each person to get his/her own needs met. An approach that disregards a person's needs is likely to cause resentment in that individual, which can lead to future resistance or retaliation.

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Participants can use the ground rules throughout the conflict resolution process to monitor and modify their behaviours. Ground rules give participants an objective, logical way of addressing personal attacks and emotional issues.

An example: “David, I feel like you have cut off my last several statements. We agreed at the beginning of this that we would listen to each other’s statements fully before answering.”

If the conflict is being mediated, this also gives the mediator a fair way to give participants feedback and help them work with the conflict. Since the same rules are being applied to everyone, it can help the mediator maintain fairness and avoid bias.

Choosing the Time and Place Thoughtful consideration of the environment in which the discussions are to take place are very important. The correct location enhances the parties’ commitment, supports quality decision-making, and can enhance the appearance of the mediator’s neutrality. It could be the most important decision made by the mediator.

The environment should include physical surroundings that affect people’s bodily comfort levels. It also should include some less tangible elements: the parties’ relative levels of power, their feelings of safety, and arrangements that convey respect.

You should remember to bring flip charts, markers, calculators, and notepads for the parties. Make sure the facility has available phones, fax machines, laptop computers, and printers. If you feel it necessary, make tissues available. On-site tissues relieve emotional parties of embarrassment and tension. They communicate a clear nonverbal message that crying is an acceptable and normal event that happens during this stressful time.

Make sure that there is lots of time allowed. Minimise distractions if possible: turn cell phones off, forward office phones to voice mail, and turn off computers.

If you are mediating a conflict resolution meeting, be conscious of the needs of both parties when scheduling the meeting. Make sure that the time chosen works well for both of them.

Choose a location that is neutral (one that they are both comfortable with or that neither has visited before). Removing distractions will enable both parties to concentrate on the matter at hand: resolving the conflict.

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MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING Two teenage brothers still living at home with their parents, both wanted to borrow the family car at the same time. Their parents arrive home to hear a blazing row between the two young men. The arguments went on for hours until their mother couldn’t stand it any longer and intervened, asking the boys where they were going. One of the brothers was travelling to his girlfriends and the other was playing football at the other end of town. On closer investigation it became apparent that the brother seeing his girlfriend could easily be dropped off by the other brother on his way to play football. This would allow the other brother to have a few beers as he didn’t have to worry about drinking and driving.

This model of win-win situations and mutual gain is our preferred outcome for any conflict.

In this section, we will explore how creating mutual understanding can lay the groundwork for a win-win solution.

What Do I Want?

The previous story regarding the two brothers highlights something fundamental to effective conflict resolution, “what do I really want?” The possession of the car wasn’t the root of the problem, arriving at the desired destination was.

Identifying what you personally want out of the conflict should be stated as objectively and as positively as possible.

Examples of this could be: • • •

I want a fair share of all new customers.

I want a better working relationship with my manager.

I want changes to the schedule.

A good idea is to create two versions of your personal needs statement: your ideal resolution and your realistic resolution. Or, you could frame your statement into several steps if the conflict is complicated.

Another useful exercise is to break down your statement into wants and needs. This is particularly valuable if your statement is vague. Let’s take the statement, “Ben is unhappy with his/her manager over work assignments.”

WANT More input into the scheduling process A more regular schedule

NEED To work less than 40 hours per week More notice of any overtime requirements

This will give you some bargaining room during the conflict resolution process, and will help ensure that you get what you need out of the solution. In the example above, you may be Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 33 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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willing to give up a more regular schedule if more notice for any overtime work was provided.

What Do They Want?

Next, identify what the person that you are in conflict with wants. Try to frame this positively. Explore all the angles to maximise your possibilities for mutual gain.

These framing questions will help you start the process.

• • • •

What does my opponent need?

What does my opponent want?

What is most important to them?

What is least important to them?

What Do We Want?

Now that you have identified the wants and needs of both sides, you need to look for any overlaps. These overlaps will be the start for establishing mutual ground.

Here is an example. Sam and Jane are in conflict over the current working schedule. As the most senior members of the production line team, they both alternate their regular duties with that of the line manager. Although taking on the responsibility gives the line manager an extra $250 per shift, the line manager also has to work an extra hour per shift, and has additional safety responsibilities.

Sam and Jane both work Monday to Friday. As a regular production line team member, their shifts are from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. As Line Manager, they are expected to work from 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

WANTS

NEEDS

•

• •

SAM To have at least two line manager shifts per week, as the extra money is useful.

To leave by 5 p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays to pick up his children.

To ensure that the line manager position is covered by someone from Monday to Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

• • •

•

JANE To have at least two line manager shifts per week.

To leave by 5 p.m. on Fridays.

Not to have more than three line manager shifts per week as it will require her to pay extra taxes.

To ensure that the line manager position is covered by someone from Monday to Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

The chart above shows clearly that Sam and Jane have the same goal, which is to ensure that the line manger position is covered by someone. This is a logistical conflict rather than one driven by emotion. We can also see from the chart that there seems to be some good starting ground for a solution.

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When working through the wants and needs of both parties, be careful not to jump to conclusions. Rather, be on the lookout for the root cause. Often, the problem is not what it seems.

FOCUSING ON INDIVIDUAL AND SHARED NEEDS At this point in the process it may appear we have made hardly any progress in resolving the conflict. Indeed, most of these primary steps are focused on information gathering and problem solving.

But by building shared interests or common ground, you will have a better understanding of, each other’s needs. Get to know the other party better, listen to their desires and assess their statements. Let the other party know more about you so they may better know you as well. This will allow you to positively progress toward resolving the conflict. You can then make a list of options you share as a way to satisfying individual needs and interests, one of the key building blocks for win-win solutions.

This section will look at some techniques for building common ground, and how to use common ground to create a partnership.

Identify Common Ground In almost every situation of conflict there will be common ground between the parties. We have already talked about finding common ground when exploring each side’s wants and needs.

In our earlier example, with Sam and Jane in conflict over the line manager schedule, they both wanted to ensure that the position was covered during their hours of responsibility.

Other possible areas of common ground could include ensuring the safety of the assembly line team or both Sam and Jane needed the extra money. Try hard enough and you’ll find something in common!

You should continue to try to find common ground throughout the entire conflict resolution process. It will help you understand your adversary’s position and better position you to help create a win-win solution. These positive gestures will build goodwill, and help you make the shift from being two people in conflict to being two people working to solve a mutual problem.

From an emotional perspective finding common ground between you and the other party, or you and the disputing parties (if you are acting as a mediator) will enable the two parties to see each other as people again, rather than the enemy.

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Some examples: • • • •

“I think the company needs a more unified sales team, too.”

“I would really like us to win first place this year, too.”

“I agree that we can get this conflict resolved and build a better widget.”

“I would like to take my family on a special holiday this year, too.”

Build Positive Energy and Goodwill There are often many negative emotions associated with conflict. No wonder – conflict makes many people upset and anxious, and often results in negative feelings like anger and disappointment.

If you are able to turn that negative energy into positive energy and build goodwill with the person that you are in conflict with, resolving the conflict will be much easier. Ironically, the more negative the situation, the more important this step is.

Let’s say that the person that you are in conflict with is very angry with you. Although they have agreed that they want to resolve the conflict, they are cool towards you and putting in minimum effort towards resolving the problem.

You may think, “Why should I bother?” This is a very important question indeed. How much energy and time are you willing to spend on this conflict? Is it worth resolving? (We will explore these questions more in the next section.)

Consider, however, the power that your approach has. You have two basic options: to match your adversary’s demeanour, or to be a positive influence. Both will likely take as much energy, but which will yield greater results?

Here are some ways to build positive energy: •

If you say, “I see where you’re coming from,” make sure you mean it. If you can’t see where they are coming from, ask them to tell you more. Often, sharing information can break down even the toughest person’s defences.

•

Frame things positively.

•

Have a good attitude. The preparation steps we discussed earlier should help you identify the positive things that will come out of this conflict. Try to focus on these things instead of the negative aspects of the conflict.

•

Create actionable items.

•

Try to keep emotions out of your statements. State feelings and opinions in as objective a manner as possible. Label your thoughts as thoughts by starting sentences with, “I think…”

•

Take a break when you need it.

•

Invite the other person to step into your shoes. Tell them a story, outline consequences, and explain how you feel in an objective manner. Share as much information as you can.

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Strengthen Your Partnership Making the transition from opponents to problem-solving teammates is one of the most powerful conflict resolution tools. We have already discussed ways to build common ground and help bridge the gap between you and the person you are in conflict with, or the parties you are mediating. These tools are a great start, but there are some additional things that you can do to maintain and strengthen that partnership. The Tuckman team development model to conflict resolution is one of those things, and is detailed below.

Bruce W Tuckman is a respected educational psychologist who first described the four stages of group development in 1965. Looking at the behaviour of small groups in a variety of environments, he recognised the distinct phases they go through, and suggested they need to experience all four stages before they achieve maximum effectiveness.

This model can be applied to one-on-one human interactions, too.

STAGE

EXPLANATION

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP

FORMING

Team members are just meeting; Encourage team building through nonunsure of their role and themselves. conflict laden tasks and activities.

Involve the team in task planning and goal setting.

STORMING

Team members discover differences Continue with the plan; evaluate and and butt heads; conflict can adjust as necessary. interfere with progress.

Support the team through conflict and help them resolve it.

NORMING

Team members start to discover similarities too. Performance typically improves, but social interaction may also cause it to drop.

Keep the group focused on the goal; encourage social activities outside of team time.

PERFORMING

Team members are now comfortable with each other and work together well.

Continue to offer resources and support to the team. Monitor performance, as teams can change stages at any time (particularly when members join in or drop out).

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ANALYSING TO THE ROOT CAUSE In medicine, it's easy to understand the difference between treating symptoms and curing a medical condition. When you're in pain because you've broken your leg, you want to have your symptoms treated immediately. However, taking painkillers won't heal your leg, and true healing is needed before the symptoms can disappear for good. In this example numbing the pain may encourage you to walk on your broken leg causing more damage, damage that will be very apparent when the pain killers eventually stop working.

But when you have a problem at work, how do you approach it? Do you jump in and start treating the symptoms? Or do you stop to consider whether there's actually a deeper problem that needs your attention?

If you only fix the symptoms – what you see on the surface – the problem will almost certainly happen again. Which will lead you to fix it, again, and again, and again?

If, instead, you look deeper to figure out why the problem is occurring, you can fix the underlying systems and processes that cause the problem.

Root Cause Analysis (RCA) is a popular and often-used technique that helps people answer the question of why the problem occurred in the first place.

In this section, we will learn how to delve below the current conflict to the root of the problem. This phase is important for long-term resolution, rather than a band-aid solution.

Examining Root Causes It is important at this stage to look at the root causes of the conflict.

One way to do this is through simple discussions with the parties. This involves continuously asking the question, “Why?” to get to the root of the problem. An example: •

I was really upset when Mark dismissed my idea at the workshop.

•

Why <did this upset you>?

•

I felt that my idea had real value and he didn’t listen to what I had to say.

•

Why <do you think he didn’t listen to what you had to say>?

•

He has been with the company for a lot longer than I have and I feel that he doesn’t respect me.

Now we have progressed from a single isolated incident to the root cause of the incident itself (and probably many more past and future incidents). Resolving this root cause will provide greater value and satisfaction to all involved.

Paying attention to the wording of the root cause is important, too.

•

Watch out for vague verbs.

•

Try to keep emotions out of the problem statements.

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Creating a Cause and Effect Diagram Another way of examining root causes is to create a cause and effect diagram (also known as a fishbone diagram) with the person that you are in conflict with. To start, draw a horizontal arrow pointing to the right on a large sheet of paper. At the end of the arrow, write down the problem.

Now, work together to list possible causes. Group these causes. Draw a line pointing to the large arrow for each cause and write the cause at the top.

Now, write each cause on a line pointing to the group arrow. (Sticky notes work well for this.)

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Now the people in the conflict have a clear map of what is happening.

Although this technique can be time-consuming, it is excellent for complicated conflicts or for team conflicts where there may be more than one root cause. The drawing should be updated as new causes are discovered.

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Identifying the Benefits of Resolution Effective conflict resolution digs deep into the issues, often exploring unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory in order to resolve the core conflict; it is only this that will prevent the problem from reoccurring.

However, this process can be time-consuming and emotionally difficult. You and the person that you are in conflict with may arrive at a point (or several points) in the conflict resolution process where you wonder, “Is this really worth it?”

When you arrive at these stalemates, take a look at why you are resolving the conflict. It can also be helpful to explore what will happen if the conflict is not resolved.

•

What relationships will deteriorate or break up?

•

What is the financial cost to the company or yourself?

•

What will be the emotional cost?

•

Who else will be affected?

Questions like these should help you put things into perspective and evaluate whether or not the conflict is worth resolving. In most situations, resolving the true conflict is well worth the effort in the long term. Visualising the benefits can provide the motivation to work through the rest of the process.

For complex conflicts, there are some additional ways to stay motivated. It’s acceptable to break the resolution sessions into parts, with a different goal for each session. It’s also acceptable to take breaks as needed – a short walk in the fresh air or a drink of water or coffee can do wonders to refresh the mind and body.

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•

CREATING OPTIONS The creation of options is an essential step in the process of resolving any conflict, including seemingly stubborn situations. In a conflict resolution scenario, once all parties to the conflict have identified the issues under contention, they should systematically list ALL options that they see available to them for advancing their interests. The parties should include options they would not normally choose, as these could turn out to be compatible with those of an opposing party.

This stage is all about quantity, not quality; you want as many options to choose from as possible.

Generate, Don’t Evaluate It’s time to begin generating ideas for resolving the symptoms of the conflict. Focus on to the root cause and expand your list of ideas.

Don’t be afraid to offer any ideas, even if they sound silly. Remember, this stage is about identifying what you can do, not what you will do.

It is very important not to censor yourself or the person that you are in conflict with, or if you are mediating allow both parties to speak freely. Record all the possible ideas or perhaps use a brainstorming diagram. If you have created a cause and effect diagram, you can record the ideas for resolution right on the diagram. (Once again, sticky notes are ideal for this initial, idea-generating phase.)

At this stage, all your work to build common ground and positive relationships will really start to pay off. As you and the person you are in conflict with start to generate options, the positive energy will build, increasing your creative output exponentially.

If you are having trouble thinking of solutions, use these questions to jump-start your creativity.

•

How do we not want this conflict to be resolved?

•

How might others resolve this conflict?

•

In an ideal world, how would this conflict be resolved?

Creating Mutual Gain Options and Multiple Option Solutions Once you have a good list of options, review the list and perform some basic evaluation.

•

Highlight options that provide gains for both parties.

•

Look for options that can be combined for an optimal solution.

•

Cross off options that are an absolute no-go for either party.

•

Make options more detailed where appropriate.

•

Continue brainstorming and generating ideas.

What if your entire list of options gets crossed off? Then it’s back to the drawing board! If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, consider taking a quick break, moving the brainstorming meeting elsewhere, and/or involving outside parties.

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Digging Deeper into Your Options Once the list has been narrowed down it’s time to delve deeper into each option. Identify: •

The effort for each option (perhaps on a scale of one to ten)

•

The payback for each option (also on a scale of one to ten)

•

Your estimation as to its likelihood of success

•

Other options that could be used to complement it

•

Each party’s preference for it (expressed as yes/no, or a percentage in favour)

At this point, we are still gathering information and exploring options, so try to make the list as long as possible. For simple conflicts, three to five options is usually sufficient. For more complex issues, five to eight options may be necessary. If the team involves more than two people, you will likely need eight to twelve options.

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SOLUTION BUILDING Now we have a list of all the possible solutions, it’s time to move on to choosing a one and laying the groundwork for a resolution. This section will explore how to create criteria and how to use those criteria to create a shortlist of options, and then to move on to a solution.

Creating Criteria For the moment, set aside your list of options. It’s time to create a framework to evaluate those options. Try not to think about the different options as you create the criteria. Focus instead on the wants and needs of both parties.

Criteria should basically explore what you want and do not want from the solution. You can also prioritise your criteria by what is necessary to have and what you would like to have (also known as needs and wants). Identify any items you would be willing to compromise on.

CRITERIA

WANT?

NEED?

SHARED WITH OPPONENT?

COMPROMISE ON?

The best approach is for each party to take a few moments to write down their individual criteria, and then come together and combine the lists to create a final set of criteria.

Although it is important to work together on this list, it is also important that the wants and needs of both parties are respected.

You may ask, why create criteria after creating options? Wouldn’t it make more sense to create a list of criteria and then generate a list of options?

Logically, this approach does make more sense. However, it can be difficult to come up with creative options when you already have a framework in mind. Therefore, we recommend brainstorming first, and then creating criteria second.

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Creating a Shortlist Once the criteria have been created, bring out the list of solutions. Eliminate any solutions that do not match the must-have criteria that you and your partner identified. At the end of this process, you should have a small, manageable list of potential solutions.

If you find that there are no solutions left after following this process there are two options open to you.

1.

Re-evaluate your criteria and re-evaluate the solutions, to ensure there really are no options left.

2.

Go back to the drawing board and work on additional solution ideas.

Choosing a Solution Now, choose a final solution. Remember, you can often combine multiple options for even greater success!

Here is a checklist to evaluate the chosen solution.

•

Is it a win-win solution for everyone involved?

•

Are all needs provided for?

•

Are all criteria met?

Building a Plan The greatest solution in the world is worthless unless it is successfully implemented. To make sure this happens successfully it is important to have a plan. The complexity of this plan should vary with the complexity of the situation. For simple conflicts, you may frame an agreement like this: “Marie and I will take turns making the tea, and we will make sure that we let each other know when this happens.”

For more complex situations, such as those involving groups of people or multiple option solutions, a detailed action plan may be appropriate. It is important that each party take responsibility for implementing the solution, even if it is determined that one party is at fault.

For example, let’s say that the conflict resolution process has determined that communication issues between Ben and Mark are causing most of the conflict regarding overtime assignment. Although Ben and Mark are going to work on this problem by improving communication and keeping fairness in mind, the remainder of the team will be responsible for supporting Ben and Mark and following up to make sure no further issues arise.

For even larger implementations like corporate process changes involving many departments and teams, it is important to follow strict Project Management methodology like PRINCE2 or PMBOK. In some cases you may look to engage a Project Manager to implement the solution.

The action plan should also include a list of things to do if the conflict is not actually resolved after implementing the solution. Typically, the parties will re-evaluate the cause and effect diagram to ensure their analysis of the root cause was accurate. They may also want to examine their criteria and explore other solutions.

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ADDITIONAL TOOLS To wrap up this workshop, we would like to share some additional tools that can help you resolve conflicts.

Stress Management Techniques A definition of stress is physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension. You know when you are under stress. Nothing is worth more than your health. Keeping your mind and body free from stress requires a conscience effort on your part. Here are some suggestions to keeping a healthier you: •

Get plenty of exercise. If you do not exercise, park your car farthest from the building and walk briskly, take the stairs as much as possible and walk at a faster than normal pace around the office.

•

Get plenty of rest and sleep.

•

Learn to compartmentalise your work and home life. Leave home issues at home and work issues at work.

•

Remain positive

•

Stretch at least twice a day. Take your hands and place them on your hips and lean back slightly until you feel your back stretch. Take your right arm and cross it in front of you, then take your other arm and gently push on the elbow of your right arm. Repeat this for your left arm. Get on your tip toes then rock back on your heels. Repeat several times.

•

Maintain your work schedule.

•

Leave early to work and avoid traffic if possible

•

Make sure you spend time at home with your family, meeting their needs too.

•

Laugh whenever possible.

•

Help others

Keep good relationships with your colleges and manager and you will experience less stress.

Anger Management Techniques Dealing with conflict can be hard on the mind and the body. Being well-equipped with some anger management techniques can help you stay calm during the conflict resolution process. Nothing is going to get solved when either (or both) parties are angry and upset.

Here are some tips to help keep you cool during the conflict resolution process.

•

Deep breathing has beneficial mental and physical effects.

•

Coping thoughts can help you stay calm, too. Some examples: “I feel like he is just trying to push my buttons. I’m stronger than that!” or, “I’m not going to let myself get upset – that won’t solve anything. Instead, I am going to focus on getting this conflict solved.”

•

Make sure to take breaks as needed. If the person you are in conflict with becomes emotional or stressed, encourage them to take breaks as well.

•

After the conflict is over, talk about it with someone appropriate.

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The Agreement Frame The Agreement Frame can be used in any situation to explain your viewpoint in an assertive, non-confrontational way, without watering your position down. It is designed to encourage discussion and information sharing between all parties. Although it can be used in many situations, it is particularly effective in conflict resolution.

The Agreement Frame takes one of three forms: •

I appreciate, and…

•

I respect, and…

•

I agree, and…

Here is an example of the Agreement Frame in use.

PERSON A The best way to resolve this conflict is for you to resign your position immediately.

What options were you considering?

I think that option is too low-key for this situation.

PERSON B I respect your opinion, and I think that there might be some other viable options.

I think that if I issued an apology to the team for the misunderstanding that we would be on our way to resolving the conflict.

I agree that it might not be a strong enough statement and I may need to have team meetings to address the underlying issues.

Remember, the words “but” and “however” are conversation-stoppers. Try to avoid using them with the agreement frame.

Asking Open Questions When possible, use the five W’s or the H to ask a question.

•

Who?

•

What?

•

Where?

•

When?

•

Which?

•

How?

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These questions encourage discussion, self-evaluation, and open conversation. Some useful questions for conflict resolution include: •

What happened?

•

Which of the 2 options do you want to go with?

•

When did this problem start?

•

How does that make you feel?

•

Who else is involved?

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RESOLVING THE COLLISION OF GENDER-LINKED VALUES Values - rules for the road Values are our rules for the road. They determine what behaviours and paradigms we regard as acceptable. They colour our perceptions of morality, beauty, justice, sound practice and fair play. They underlie our decision-making about goals as well as our methods of achieving them. Values determine mind-set, offer a consistency of behaviour over time and govern the 'how' as well as the 'what' of behaviour. They are the mechanism behind the clock face, the workings of what we loosely call 'personality'.

The degree of our commitment to a value indicates how core to our personality it is, and gives some indication of how flexible or inflexible we are, and hence how hard it will be to find a meeting ground in a conflict situation.

We express values as: ✓ preferences; ✓ opinions; ✓ beliefs; ✓ principles This list follows our increasing commitment to the value we hold and indicates deeply it resides in the core of our personality.

People hold some values consciously, such as being for or against abortion, or for or against gun control. But often people take their values for granted. These unconscious values emerge only when the person reflects on why they choose to act in a particular way, perhaps in response to being questioned. These unconscious viewpoints are often expressed in very personal terms. Don't expect a handy label.

The formation of values Most people would rate core values or principles, such as self-preservation, honesty, loyalty, pride in good work, very highly. But we cannot presume that other people hold all the same values as we do, or that they give them the same priority, or that they should. Values are formed by: 1. Personal experience: Values are frequently formed as a result of personal experiences. In the light of everyday experience and the behaviour we 'discover' ourselves exhibiting, we are constantly redefining our preferences, opinions and beliefs. These are our more lightly held values or attitudes. Core values or principles usually require life-changing events to dislodge.

2. Culture: Children learn values, openly or by implication, from others who hold that value; for example, in the family or at school. Men and women have usually grown up in and Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 50 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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continue to be affected by different subcultures. These subcultures influence our values and the order of importance they hold for us. Certainly there is a large overlap. Men's and women's lives are different, but not that different.

In times of conflict, values may express as opposite polarities - when a particular value is called into question during a conflict, people tend to polarise and move to opposing extremities - their conflict corner. At these times, particularly when they are in opposition to someone of the opposite sex, many men may align more closely with values from the stereotypically masculine style, women with values from the stereotypically feminine style.

If we move to our conflict corner, a polarised extreme, we are liable to play out the conflict as a win/lose game. Whoever shouts louder or has the greater power or manipulates best, wins. On the day it can seem great, but winning when the other person is losing sows the seeds for resurrection of the conflict. Long-term solutions that won't backfire or break down will usually require us to acknowledge and accommodate other people's values as well as our own. Each of the following eight gender-linked values is inherently valid in itself and each needs due consideration and respect. This is the essence of the win/win approach to conflict resolution. The objective of the gentle revolution is to balance the masculine and feminine ultimately within each person. To do so requires that both masculine and feminine values are validated and advanced.

Language We probably cannot make one definitive statement about 'all men' or 'all women'. The adjectives female and male denote sex type, and feminine and masculine refer to psychological qualities which might reside in either sex. In order not to limit discussion, the person is often indicated by the value that is motivating them at the time, to avoid naming a specific gender. The following comments are relevant to the cross-value conflict. This is often, but not always, a cross-gender conflict.

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THE GENDER-LINKED VALUES EQUALITY AGREEMENT FEELING INTERDEPENDENCE

STATUS COMPETITION ACTIONS AUTONOMY

OBJECTS

EQUALITY AND STATUS Characteristics: equality The term equalizers is used to describe those people motivated by the value of equality at a particular time. They are often, but not always, women. A number of characteristics cluster around the equality value. Equalisers: ✓ Prefer to share power with others rather than use power over them. ✓ Create a level playing field. ✓ Want equality of opportunity. ✓ Measure with a yardstick of fairness. ✓ Tolerate different viewpoints. ✓ See everyone as basically the same. ✓ Consult. ✓ Seek power for the opportunity to self-actualise Characteristics: status The term status-watchers is used to refer to people at the particular time they are motivated by the status value. They will often, but not always, be men. Status-watchers: ✓ Shoulder responsibility ✓ Measure status by output, position, resources or strength ✓ Test relationships to check their relative standing ✓ Accept legitimate authority ✓ Validate hierarchies ✓ Observe power issues carefully ✓ Regard people as basically different ✓ Demand respect ✓ Seek status as a yardstick for self-respect

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What is the good intention?

It's easy to misjudge people whose value systems are very different from our own, particularly if their actions impede our own needs or what we believe is for the best.

Identifying a good intention will temper our negative judgment. Even if we don't directly mention our appreciation of other people's good intentions, our own identification of it will subtly affect the way we communicate with them and significantly improve the climate of negotiations. Behind almost every action, no matter how inconvenient or hurtful it is to us, lies a good intention in the eyes of the doer.

We don't have to agree with the underlying value or motivation, merely understand it so we can open up discussion. When we identify the other person's best intention, we offer ourselves a reality check. Of course, there may be some other pretty poor intentions, but refrain from angry confrontation until you find at least one positive (or acceptable) purpose for their behaviour. Good conflict resolution begins with respect for the other person and the values that they stand for.

While the range of people's good intentions is enormously broad, a number arise directly out of the equality value. Equalisers often adopt rules for equitable relationship. These include: ✓ supporting the rights of friends and colleagues; ✓ avoiding arousing others' jealousy; ✓ using fairness as a yardstick for evaluating; ✓ negotiating from a win/win perspective; ✓ encouraging others' participation in decision-making ✓ Good intentions of status-watcher may include: ✓ striving for self-improvement or self-reliance; ✓ building self-respect; ✓ creating a clear chain of command; ✓ using a strategically sound approach; ✓ supporting justice and law

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Spotting the underlying values The underlying value will influence decision-making and sensitivities in a wide variety of situations. Listen to people’s language. It often tells us about the values they are using.

Here’s a summary of a phone conversation I had recently. I’ve italicised some of the status and equality clue words that reverberated throughout.

A representative for a group of hospital staff, mainly women, phoned the Conflict Resolution Network. We chatted. She thought her group probably needed some sort of team-building workshop. They had serious morale problems to deal with. She described for me the hierarchical structure of operating theatres where control and the issuing of orders and instant obedience were necessary for efficient operating practice. The doctors and surgeons (mainly men) have superior status by virtue of position and education.

‘We know they have to be in charge, but we wish they had more of a win/win approach.

Surely, we deserve a fairer deal?’ she said.

‘You want it to be more even-handed?’ I asked.

Her next comment betrayed her group’s deep hurt and anger. ‘Sometimes doctors treat us like dirt. Some of the men, in particular, act like we’re their slaves.’ Although very dissatisfied, they kept their conflicts hidden. Status-holders in their hospital system had the power to deal with troublemakers summarily. ‘Do I call it “equal rights”?’ queried my caller.

‘What would it look like if you had it?’ I asked.

‘Well,’ she said, ‘the other day we had a new woman surgeon on duty. We had a car crash patient in theatre. When the operation was over, it needed a big clean-up - there was lots of blood around. This woman surgeon just pitched in and started helping. “You don’t have to do that, you know,” I said to her. “I do know,” she replied, “but I’m already dirty so I might as well help.” She wasn’t setting herself up as higher than us. How could we encourage more of that sort of attitude from the men?’

Not an easy one, I thought. Time pressures in the hospital system must make status issues worse. ‘I’m really not saying that they should help clean up,’ she said, ‘but we need something to change their attitude. They think we won’t look up to them if they treat us like equals, but in fact we’d respect them much more..’

Her group was quietly desperate and feeling totally unheard. The senior hospital staff of doctors and administrators weren’t tuned in to equality language and values. The nurses and orderlies were just as dedicated to goals of efficiency and patients’ wellbeing. They believed they were entitled to a team relationship. They accepted their lower positional status, but didn’t believe it required the type of work atmosphere they presently endured.

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This group didn’t really need structural changes. They wanted changes in day-to-day communication and attitudes.

The language and concepts this woman used in trying to define the problem, pointed clearly to her group’s thirst for recognition beyond relative status.

It would be very wrong to think that status-watchers don’t include equality as a value at all.

But when interacting in organisations they may focus first on status and position, and be slower to recognise that within positional power structures lie other possibilities for relating with others.

EQUALITY: stumbling blocks and stepping stones Equality has a number of potential stumbling blocks. Values such as equality often reside below consciousness, but that doesn't mean they're inactive. At times we'll need to choose a more considered response. We sharpen our conflict resolution expertise when we ask ourselves: 'Will I react or respond?'

React: To behave impulsively. To act out of conditioning (habit), whether or not that action is appropriate. To be swept away by emotion.

Respond: To behave thoughtfully. To act out of freedom, tailoring action to the circumstances. Emotions guide but do not rule.

Stumbling block: Being too modest 'It's nothing, really.'

Equalisers may be very alert to and uncomfortable with situations in which they are envied by others. Acutely sensitive to unequal power relationships, some will underplay their achievements to avoid alienation from less successful friends and workmates.

Stepping stones Delight in our successes is healthy self-actualising. Over-inflation of ego is different, but can be easily confused with self-actualising. Modesty will always have its place. If we don't want to irritate others, we need to practise self-disclosure about achievements with discretion.

However, sometimes it's important to sing your own song, to blow your own trumpet. If your achievements are unknown, you may not be given the respect you deserve.

Stumbling block: Taking offence at inequality 'I do so much for them. What do they ever do for me?'

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If you are frequently doing favours for someone else, you like to know you can count on that person to reciprocate sooner or later. Equalisers are more likely to be keeping score than status-watchers. To preserve equality, favours can't always travel only in one direction

Stumbling block: Taking offence at inequality 'I do so much for them. What do they ever do for me?'

If you are frequently doing favours for someone else, you like to know you can count on that person to reciprocate sooner or later. Equalisers are more likely to be keeping score than status-watchers. To preserve equality, favours can't always travel only in one direction Stumbing block: Continued resentment 'I'll never forgive them!'

In the animal kingdom, status conflicts are usually associated with the male of the species.

These conflicts are generally violent and short - when dominance is established they're over.

Fights also occur between females, however, and these are often far more vicious.

It's not that different for humans. Women aren't always the sweeter sex. In fact, women can be more vindictive than men, and can hang onto their anger a lot longer.

Here are a number of common conflict triggers for a woman: ✓ she feels power has been used over her unfairly or manipulatively; ✓ she believes someone has usurped or undermined her equal status; ✓ someone won't give her the support which she feels, in fairness, she deserves; ✓ someone has been deceitful or spread lies, destroying the trust on which her equal relationship with them has been built; ✓ someone has abused her goodwill and tolerance, another trademark of her equality stance A woman probably won't get over any one of these slights in one short dispute. Unless the incident was a pure misunderstanding, she probably is quite likely to hold a grudge for a long time. Male equalisers are quite likely to have similar reactions.

Stepping stones Resentment is frozen anger. It is a deadly poison in relationships. To head towards forgiveness you might ask yourself these questions: ✓ Is there something you need to say to the other person in order to communicate your problem clearly? ✓ Is what you wish to say appropriate? ✓ Could you make a time to discuss the issue in private? The middle of an open-plan office is rarely the right setting. ✓ What else would help you get over your anger and hurt?

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✓ Are you able to ask for what you wish? ✓ Do you need to broaden your tolerance (not necessarily your approval) of some negative qualities the person displays so that you can forgive the other person and wipe the slate clean?

The real purpose of anger is to create change.

STATUS: stumbling blocks and stepping stones Stumbling block: Domination 'You'll do it because I say so.'

Overt obsession with control: When people openly display excessive controlling behaviour, they often presume it is a requirement of their rank. They have misjudged the responsibilities of leadership. This misjudgment is often fuelled by underlying emotional issues such as: ✓ perfectionism - a need for order and system, often to avoid being overwhelmed; or ✓ a need to establish status based on other people's subservience.

Covert obsession with control: Controlling behaviour doesn't only occur with people who are formally in charge of others. If the person doesn't actually have authority over another, the way they exercise their demands may be more covert. Many men complain about women's covert controlling behaviour. Possibly it is the presence of a focus on equality alongside the status. value that leads women's to adopt covert behaviours. Also, they are less likely to hold the rank usually necessary for overt control.

Stepping stones When is it appropriate to ask someone to change? When is out of line? Here are three questions to ask yourself when a 'should' arises in your mind: ✓ Does the problem affect you? ✓ Can you live with the problems their way creates? ✓ Does their way work?

Stumbling block: Territory protection 'Get off my patch!'

Status is often defined by personal territory. Territory is the area over which you have control, the 'patch' over which you have power or ownership. It may be physical territory your office - or non-physical territory - your job responsibilities, or the number of people under your supervision. Some status-watchers can invest enormous amounts of time and energy in disputes over territory.

Disputes over territory issues can be very vindictive and need to be handled with the utmost care, so that neither the individual nor the company loses out.

Stepping stones ✓ Talk more openly about territory issues as they arise. ✓ Recognise the legitimacy of someone's concerns over territory infringements.

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✓ Use every possible means to develop win/win outcomes that don't leave one person dissatisfied.

Stumbling block: Undervaluing others 'She couldn't do that. She's only a secretary.'

Status-watchers with one eye usually on their own status, can easily and quite unconsciously discount others' skills and abilities. Undervaluing other people keeps statuswatchers feeling they're on top and in control. This attitude, however, is extremely frustrating for those affected by it, and often results in the repression of people's potential.

Stepping stones Discounting other people's skills and abilities is insidious and unkind. We can guard against being prejudiced and lobby for change in organisations where prejudice occurs. Large organisations often have equal employment opportunity divisions to address these problems. In organisations without a formal department, the disadvantaged group - for instance, women or migrants - may need to network closely with each other to explore every avenue for change. Positive change may require long and careful work. Helpless resentment will not achieve the goal.

AGREEMENT AND COMPETITION Characteristics: Agreement Agreers exhibit a number of characteristics. Generally, agreers: ✓ Keep the peace. ✓ Emphasise similarities and common ground. ✓ Are urgent about concluding disagreements. ✓ Modify behaviour and suppress needs readily to fit in with others. ✓ Need harmonious teamwork for job satisfaction.

Characteristics: Competition Competers' style contrasts with that of agreers in a number of significant ways. Competers are likely to: ✓ Enjoy the challenge of competitive strategies. ✓ Value competition because it drives people forwards and tests worth. ✓ Accept some aggression as part of the ‘rough and tumble’. ✓ See interaction with others as inevitably competitive. ✓ Use and receive one-upmanship as a comfortable, light-hearted way of relating.

What is the good intention?

Agreers’ good intentions start from the premise: other people will be considerate towards me, as long as I’m nice. Competers generally base their behaviour on the premise: other Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 58 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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people probably won’t look after me, especially if I appear to be a pushover. I must watch out for myself.

It’s important to remember that self-interest is not a crime. Agreers sometimes need to give themselves, as well as others, permission to pursue it more actively.

Three stepping stones for finding the good intention The following three steps for finding the good intention apply not only to agreement and competition, but also to any set of values that is not our own.

STEP 1 Recognise how you may have suppressed your urges for a style opposite to your preferred style. Acquaintance with your suppressed urges dissolves the 'sound barrier' when others are doing things you don't approve of.

STEP 2 Acknowledge the good intentions of the style that is not your own. This opens a chink of empathy, one of the most helpful ingredients of good conflict resolution.

STEP 3 Start listening. You may need to invite reticent agreers to talk to you. It's important not to later use what they say as ammunition against them, or you're unlikely to hear the truth from them a second time.

AGREEMENT: stumbling blocks and stepping stones On the whole, agreement-oriented people are great to be around. When agreers take the path of least resistance, other people's lives go pretty smoothly. The agreer, however, may be drowning in a private sea of frustrated emotions and disappointment.

Stumbling block: Arguments lost ‘I thought it was obvious I disagreed. That didn’t stop him!’

When agreers argue with competers, not only is there a clash about the substance of the problem, there is also a style clash to be addressed. It is usually the agreer who backs down.

Agreers may see only two alternatives: losing repeatedly to competers or sacrificing their own principles by ‘playing dirty’. There is a third way, however - appropriate assertiveness.

Stepping stones Agreers can remain true to their core values and not lose out when arguing with a competer. This might imply that they: ✓ Adjust their expectations. Agreers cannot rely on the competer to tune in to what they need and consider their needs. Also, they cannot presume that they will be offered the space to put forward their point of view. They may have to grab it. ✓ Master a win/win approach and use the approach very assertively. Don't go along with things they really disagree with in order to please. ✓ Oppose dominating or narrow-minded approaches. ✓ Are not always 'nice'.

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â&#x153;&#x201C; Show their anger clearly but in a controlled way. â&#x153;&#x201C; Plan strategically to 'call in the troops' if their own efforts are not sufficient.

Many agreers when they first resolve to become assertive are a bit clumsy and heavyhanded about it. Pent-up frustrations from past losses are liable to spill into the present situation. Unsure about how much pressure it takes to win, they push far too hard. Their judgment on how far it's fair and responsible to take an issue can be defective. Their newfound assertiveness dramatically changes the dynamics of their relationships, and others around them may resist major adjustments. Gradually things do settle down, as the person carves out a network of mutually respectful relationships.

Use 'I' statements, which are an invaluable tool for an assertive win/win style. A well formulated 'I' statement is often an excellent opener to an assertive approach to a difficult issue. It aims to communicate clearly and cleanly.

Clear: Your statement of the problem is precise and explains what is the matter.

Clean: Your statement does not attack or blame the other person, and does not aim to hurt.

Stumbling block: People pleasing 'She'll promise the moon...while you're in her office.'

Agreers are people pleasers. They can find themselves agreeing with whoever they are talking to at the time. The agreer must not appear to blow with the wind. Unless they have clearly established their impartiality, they are likely to be perceived as a turncoat.

Stepping stones Conflicts are generally best addressed early. If issues that could have been addressed are ignored, they can lead to further misunderstandings, mounting tension and, ultimately, a crisis.

Stumbling block: Failure to achieve positive results from conflict If we avoid addressing conflicts, we lose the opportunity to search for new and better solutions to problems.

The win/win approach Sometimes problems seem like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Win/lose solutions are an incorrect assembly of the pieces. It takes care and thought to get all the parts into the right position so that a win/win picture can emerge. This requires a win/win approach and the expectation of finding an acceptable win/win outcome.

It certainly can be very difficult to maintain win/win strategies when the other person is playing a win/lose game.

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Elements of the win/win approach The win/win approach demands two commitments: 1. To work towards better solutions that give everyone more of what they really need in the long term.

2. To engage in as much consultation and joint decision-making as the situation will allow.

A win/win approach is not the same as a win/win outcome. The commitments above do not guarantee a perfect result. But even if the result is less than a perfect win/win outcome, the use of the method makes a vast difference to long-term relationships.

When you know how you really want to play the game, you will become wonderfully inventive about new options. You may not even see problem situations as conflicts any more. They’ll look much more like opportunities for positive change.

COMPETITION: stumbling blocks and stepping stones Let’s remember that the spirit of competition is responsible for some of the finest qualities people can display. When we unite to face a common enemy, we place ourselves in testing circumstances that will ultimately prove our worth. We learn courage and endurance, as few things worth fighting for come easily. We learn to shoulder responsibility as others rely on our skills, and we learn trust as we rely on other team-mates to do their part.

Despite all this potential for good that can come from competition, competiters can get it horribly wrong.

Stumbling block: Merged attachment to others inhibits personal power ‘She’ll never cut it when the going gets rough.’

A highly competitive culture is self-perpetuating, keeping out anything unlike itself.

Competitive leaders recruit senior managers who display the traditional qualities of the hero warrior - the victor of battles. These qualities include: 1. dominance; 2. courage; 3. confidence; 4. tactical analysis Women’s agreement-oriented subculture generally encourages a very different set of leadership skills. These are: 1. consultation ; 2. an ethic of care; 3. communication & conflict resolution expertise; 4. whole system awareness

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Stepping stones The gentle revolution is still essential. Many men still need to learn that the contributions from masculine and feminine perspectives can serve to balance each other, equaling better leadership.

Today’s environment needs both sets of skills.

Real authority = dominance + consultation Right action = courage + ethic of care Enabled, empowered teams = confidence + communication & conflict resolution expertise Strategic thinking = tactical analysis + whole system awareness While our best leaders will be strong in all aspects, organisations will benefit greatly by putting together teams of leaders with differing strengths, if the full range of those strengths is valued.

Stumbling block: Poor listening skills “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said” Often when people are in competitive mode, they don’t really listen.

The secret of good listening is not only waiting for your turn to speak but taking in what the other person has said, staying with their topic and their feelings. An appropriate response may be a question that gathers more information about what they are trying to communicate. Make sure you really listen to the answer! Listen to their criticisms, but look beneath what they say to their thwarted needs, no matter how badly expressed.

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FEELING - ACTIONS-AND-OBJECTS Characteristics: feeling focus People with a feeling focus display certain characteristics. Usually they: ✓ Believe that feelings, and sometimes intuition or creativity, are what really matter. ✓ Closely observe their emotions, creativity and intuition throughout the day ✓ Are relatively willing to disclose vulnerable feelings. ✓ Believe workplace climates and processes should support employees. ✓ Believe discussion of feeling cements a team. ✓ Think emotions can be a guide to action. ✓ Tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty relatively well. ✓ See life as fundamentally an inner journey. ✓ Try to extract emotional meanings from their experiences.

Characteristics: actions-and-objects focus The usual attention point for actions-and-objects focusers is external reality, rather than their internal world, as is the case for feeling focusers. This outer focus may lead actionsand-objects focusers to display many or all of the following characteristics. They: ✓ Are happiest when they are doing something.. ✓ Focus on the external world, or the world of ideas. ✓ Resist the expression of vulnerable emotions. ✓ Focus almost exclusively on tasks and output when in the workplace. ✓ Build rapport through the exchange of concrete information and conversations about activities and objects. ✓ Use logical thought to plan action. ✓ Are often willing to take risks. ✓ Believe life is about mastery of objective facts and circumstances through action. ✓ Aim for competence and want others to trust and respect their abilities.

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What is the good intention?

Feeling focused people and actions-and-objects focused people often find themselves at odds. Often the conflict between them cannot be solved until the other person believes their perspective has been heard, understood and respected. We each need to cultivate an understanding of the good intentions of people whose primary focus is different from our own. In situations where there is a clash between focuses, it is generally true that each perspective has a contribution to make. A good solution will nearly always incorporate something from both perspectives.

Appreciating others’ differences can help us appreciate and grow ourselves. Negative judgments about others are often negative judgments about repressed areas of our own nature. Many psychologists believe that, in order to display the qualities we presently espouse, we may be suppressing our potential for their opposite. Wholeness and integration comes when we know how to manifest both a feeling and an actions-andobjects focus.

Spotting the underlying values We can often spot these underlying values in everyday conversation once we are attuned to them. We can hear the values in common expressions such as: ‘I don’t want to hurt her feelings’, or ‘Just give me the facts’.

Mapping The conflict resolution skill of mapping is of enormous help when a feeling style clashes with an actions-and-objects style. Mapping is a method of clarifying the differing needs and concerns that are driving the conflict, and is used when two or more parties to the conflict are together. It builds up a picture of the whole problem in context, and makes place for people’s deeper values, as well as their immediate concerns.

Someone who understands the method can usually initiate the mapping process quite easily. Although mapping is often done using pen and paper, the steps do not always have to be written down. Instead, the points can be brought up in discussion by asking questions and making statements about everyone’s needs and concerns. Sometimes one person will do a map of a conflict alone as a preliminary to tackling the issue together, making informal guesses about what is motivating the other people involved.

Mapping meets the feeling focuser’s need for understanding and acknowledgment as well as the actions focuser’s need to objectify the situation and consider the problem via an analytical, logical and practical process. The person initiating the process can start with a feeling (e.g. distress, anger at injustice), then ask, ‘Why do you feel that way?’, and with a little probing they will arrive at the feeling focusers needs and concerns. Or they can start with the actions focuser’s ‘solution’ - their preferred action in the circumstances - and ask, ‘Why does that seem like the best answer to you?’, and once again they will arrive at needs and concerns. Even though they are seeing the problem from two very different perspectives, mapping helps them arrive at equivalent conflict source points. Mapping may help both parties with practical work-based issues and with deeper values clashes. It’s also a very useful tool for group planning.

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Identifying needs and concerns What does the actions person need?

What does the feeling person need?

The purpose of mapping at this point in their argument is to go behind each person’s position and find out what supports it. The major focus in mapping is: Step back from conflict about solutions and get down to needs and concerns.

It’s a shift from confrontation to exploration. When you’re mapping, ask questions that draw out the needs and concerns behind each person’s stand. If it’s impractical to ask them directly, put yourself in their shoes and consider how they’d be likely to answer. To develop a full map, you’d look at the needs and concerns of all relevant parties.

Values exploration You may also uncover relevant values with ‘why?’ questions. It is not necessary to distinguish them from needs and concerns, but it is worthwhile watching out for them, as people don’t shift their values quickly and get angry if solutions do not accommodate them.

Drawing your map 1. Define the problem area to be resolve.

2. Name the parties.

3. List needs, concerns and, if appropriate, values.

4. Design new options.

The mapping process makes the scope of the problem clearer and provides the opportunity to tailor solutions to its various aspects. As well as pointing towards solutions, mapping provides an opportunity to understand other people’s concerns more deeply and often suggests alternative practices to avoid conflict in the future.

5 FEELING FOCUS: stumbling blocks and stepping stones We all need an intelligent balance between head and heart. Both men and women need aware contact with feeling and enough distance to direct its development and control its use.

Stumbling block: Extreme emotional reactions ‘How could you criticise me like that?’

Criticism hurts. Both men and women suffer when criticised, but those more in touch with their feelings may be seriously rocked. Actions-and-objects focusers are more likely to fend off criticism by lashing out at the criticiser. Feeling focusers, on the other hand, will mull over the painful words and become stuck in mental rehearsals of defences that they never deliver.

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Stepping stones A robust conflict, with open exploration of the issues involved, might serve the situation better. Alternatively, a mapping process could help: formally with pen and paper, or informally through detailed discussion of each other’s needs and concerns. It is possible for them to reach some good solutions together.

Stumbling block: Difficulty confronting others ‘I just can’t tell them what they’re doing wrong. But it’s driving me mad.’

Feeling focusers are prone to paint a surface veneer of agreement over discord, keeping their true feelings on the matter hidden and thus undealt with.

Stepping stones Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for another person is to give them considered and appropriate criticism. If you get a defensive response to a legitimate criticism, sometimes it's best just to make your point and not worry that they seem to be ignoring it. Don't necessarily demand an admission or an apology. Often you'll see you've made a difference by their future actions.

Stumbling block : Focus too open ‘If only you’d get to the point!’

Feeling focusers are sometimes excessively inclusive when presenting reports to colleagues.

While each detail seems very important to them because it affects relationships and decision-making, actions focusers often prefer to make quicker assessments based on just the main facts. An over-inclusive feeling focuser can really annoy them and make them tune out.

Stepping stones Feeling focusers should tailor their report to the person receiving it. Are too many details going to bore or irritate an actions-oriented listener? Sometimes, you will look more efficient if you present the bare facts first. Wait to be asked for the extra information. In more formal presentations, numbering your points often helps actions people follow your line of reasoning.

Willingness to resolve How can you move on from conflict? The key step is a willingness to resolve. It demands a willingness to let go of bad feelings left over from the conflict and to overcome the desire for revenge - even if it is as subtle as withdrawing contact. Of course, with some people you may have to set limits. But you need to be sure you motive is necessary self-protection, not retaliation.

The feeling focused person achieves self-mastery when they understand their emotions, and accept both the positive and negative aspects of themselves. This doesn’t mean acting from their negative side, but it does mean being aware of it. When reactions such as anger, envy and the desire for revenge are out of awareness, they are out of control.

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Soliciting a win/win approach when the other person is in the grip of destructive feelings may require courage and great emotional strength on your part in order to break out of ingrained habits of attack/defend and win/lose thinking. It may also require giving up assumptions about how things are, and how things should be. Transforming negative emotions into win/win approaches to resolution demands that your emotional intelligence is finely tuned, robust and resilient.

ACTIONS-AND-OBJECTS FOCUS: stumbling blocks and stepping stones Stumbling block: Task at the expense of people ‘At least you could ask me how my holiday was before we get started.’

Actions focusers are goal-oriented. They want to know: What needs to be done? Feeling focusers are more oriented to the process - in particular, the human interactions involved in achieving a goal. They want to know: Is everything alright? Both focuses provide useful watchdog services, though they may not want to hear each other’s news.

Stepping stones The ability to focus on goals is an important key to organisational success. But there are moments when a focus on process, particularly if it’s going wrong or could go wrong, is more important. Single-mindedness can be a great source of strength, but it may limit the leader’s ability to take in diverse opinions.

Focusing only on goals can also mean you miss the pleasure of the journey. Putting some focus onto the human element might add creative buzz and camaraderie - the best antidote to burnout.

Stumbling block: Poor skills in the domain of feeling ‘What you should do is …’ ‘Yes, but …’

Most people prefer to find their own solutions to problems. Actions focusers often won’t talk about a problem until they’ve run out of ideas. So they believe that if another person is talking about a problem, then they must want advice now. However, feeling focusers often use talk to clarify their process well before they’ve exhausted their options.

Stepping stones If someone is using you as a sounding board, don’t try to hurry their conversation along too quickly. Remember, listening alone may be the best support you can offer. There is a place for your input, but it’s usually further down the track and is best phrased as extra information rather than instructions. For example: ‘You know what I saw someone do in similar circumstances…’, or ‘I’ve tried … and it’s worked’, or ‘One possibility you might want to explore is...’. You leave the power to take up your suggestion or not with the person.

People learn far more when they work with solutions they have chosen.

Men are beginning to reclaim their emotional life that has been stolen by their need to conform to outdated masculine stereotypes. They are beginning to tell the truth, even to Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 67 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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each other, about their fears, confusions, hopes and grief. They are beginning to see the problems that arise from being too angry, too distant, too clever or too busy.

When we start looking at our emotions in depth, often there are no answers - a huge challenge to the outcome-oriented person. Emotions can be dark and confusing and seem to be, dare I say it, feminine. Action focusers may need to be vigilant in order to reclaim the whole of who they are: feeling and actions focused, internally and externally directed, analytic and global thinking, masculine and feminine!

INTERDEPENDENCE - AUTONOMY Although the values of interdependence and autonomy are frequently gender related, obviously this is not always the case. As you read, consider how closely you and those you know fit or diverge from the stereotypes. Knowing there are many exceptions, we often do see that: ✓ women generally place a higher priority on interdependence (social relationships, closeness and intimacy); ✓ men generally place a higher priority on autonomy (individualism, adventurousness and independence).

Characteristics: interdependence The interdependence value will influence a range of attitudes and behaviours in the workplace. Interdependent players may: ✓ Believe we don’t get anywhere alone, nor do we have to. ✓ See people as a resource for support, information and advice. ✓ Accept responsibility to care for others. ✓ Place their own personal goals second to group goals. ✓ Prefer a consultative approach. ✓ Prefer collective group activity. ✓ Closely observe the patterns of interconnections between people. ✓ Use their social context to define themselves.

Characteristics: autonomy While autonomous players may relate very well to other people, unlike interdependent players they are likely to have a clearly defined sense of self as separate from others. They will express this in a number of ways. They may: ✓ Aim to be an independent, powerful contributor to the organisation. ✓ Like the freedom to make independent contributions. ✓ Make tough decisions and see them through. ✓ Prefer to have total responsibility for a task. ✓ Form strong personal opinions. ✓ Rise to leadership positions easily. ✓ Protect individual rights. ✓ Value self-sufficiency and ego-strength, and expect others to act responsibly.

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What is the good intention?

Excessively interdependent people can indulge in self-righteousness about their consultative, interactive style, while excessively autonomous people can be equally selfrighteous about the responsibility they exercise.

While interdependent and autonomous players probably have very different agendas influencing how they relate to each other, good conflict resolution demands they respect each other’s viewpoint. The following exercise could sharpen your awareness of what may be driving another person to the conclusions they are reaching.

Spotting the underlying values The purpose of recognising each other’s differences is to help us forge meaningful and productive relationships based on mutual respect, less clouded by negative judgements.

When interdependence or autonomy values are at issue, they influence people’s communication patterns. By observing these variations, we are able to pick up important clues about a person’s underlying values. Consider whether they: ✓ Seek someone else’s advice or make decisions alone. ✓ Seek people out or withdraw when distressed. ✓ Use either rapport-talk or report-talk. ✓ Have different needs. ✓ Work from different morality bases. ✓ Guide decisions of ethics and rules with situational concerns or with abstract principles.

Effective teamwork An interesting balance between interdependence and autonomy was suggested by a group of firefighters who seemed to me to have raised the elements of effective teamwork to the level of high art. They have to be highly disciplined, obeying instructions instantly and performing precisely the role they were assigned that day. In a fire, their lives depend on each other, both as individuals and as team. I asked them what they saw as the keys to effective teamwork. Their experience suggests useful principles for all team-builders in the workplace. ✓

Mutual support

✓

Communication

✓

Trust

✓

Respect for everyone’s abilities

✓

Respectful familiarity with the team leader

✓

Team as community

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INTERDEPENDENCE: stumbling blocks and stepping stones Interdependence causes problems for many women and for a considerable number of men.

Establishing an identity separate from others can be a lifelong struggle, with many stumbles on the way. Conflicts can highlight lessons we must learn and motivate us to define for ourselves a workable balance between interdependence and autonomy.

Stumbling block: Merged attachment to others inhibits personal power Interdependence implies mutual dependence. When support doesn’t go both ways, we’re either too reliant on others or we are being excessively helpful. Both are inappropriate forms of dependency.

Excessive reliance on others - ‘You’re so much better at it. Will you do it for me?’

A number of quite intelligent women habitually play ‘helpless and incompetent‘, particularly around men. When relationships are dependent rather than interdependent: ✓ we may expect that others should know what we need without us asking; ✓ we may rely on others for things we ought to be able to do for ourselves; ✓ we may manipulate others to help us when they don’t really want to.

Stepping stones Interdependent players may need to regularly monitor their dependent behaviour, asking openly for what they want from others, being clear about how much help they’re really asking for, without demanding, expecting the answer yes or manipulating. They can take steps to enhance their own self-reliance. Whenever they manage alone a task they would once have relied on others to help them complete, they can celebrate their growing competency.

Stumbling block: Merged attachment to others inhibits personal power Lack of clear boundaries - ‘I can’t say no.’

Boundaries are the way we use our energy to protect ourselves from others intruding into our personal space. Good boundaries are part of having a clear self-identity. Interdependent players may have a poor sense of self-identity, another problem of merged attachment. If we have diffuse boundaries, we get upset when others are upset, deeply disturbed when others are angry and we are unable to distinguish clearly between our own needs and someone else’s needs. We may feel guilty if we are unable to do what another person us to, even when there is nothing we can do about it. We may be unable to say no to requests from others, even though we cannot or do not want to respond.

Stepping stones To establish a separate self, we must be able to separate our own needs from other people’s needs. While at times we may postpone our own needs, we will be comfortable asserting what we want. This is personal power-interdependence style.

In the process of pulling away from others, the interdependent player may appear to undergo a personality change. Suddenly, the person that others could always rely on to be accommodating and helpful seems to have deserted ship. Personal power for the interdependent person takes a huge leap forward if this transition stage is successfully Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 70 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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accomplished and the sense of moral obligation about serving others’ needs has fallen away. Then helping others become a choice, not an obligation.

Stumbling block: Creating 'them' and 'us' situations ‘Did you hear what they’re plotting against us now.’

In masculine, autonomy-oriented workplaces, women can find that socialising together to create a deeper connection helps to counter feelings of alienation. Between themselves, they can provide a community of mutual support. But this has its dangers. Women grouped for solidarity against men may also unite their opposition! Heavy adversarial approaches can make interdependent people highly uncomfortable and so they will often band together as a group. When they become involved in ongoing conflicts, they can be poisoned by gossiping and can stir each other to greater division. Internal fractures in the group are also likely when these dynamics get out of hand. Petty rivalries and infighting can become particularly bitter.

Stepping stones If you find yourself involved in such struggles, asking yourself these questions might help: What is at stake here? Are we being competitive? If so, why? Is it: 1. the need for recognition?

2. a cover for feelings of inadequacy?

3. an urge to establish a separate identity?

Or is it: 4. representative of a genuine difference of opinion that needs to be resolved?

Look for solutions to these problems rather than participating in ugly rivalries AUTONOMY: stumbling blocks and stepping stones We seek autonomy to be free, to feel independent and have our own sense of identity.

Ultimately, autonomy is the freedom to be ourselves; to be self-reliant, empowered, willing to lead and able to function alone; being prepared to stand up for a different opinion we believe in.

Often we clutch at autonomy by standing against others rather than alongside them. Are we seeking autonomy by shutting other people out? Are we rejecting the influence of other decision-makers in our work? Do we see leadership as an all-or-nothing role rather than a flexible function that may rotate within the group? Are we failing to recognise and respect our daily reliance upon other people? Or are we failing to build solid channels of communication? When we succumb to these stumbling blocks, the drive towards autonomy can become a limiting rather than a freeing force in our lives.

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Stumbling block: Resentment about taking orders or advice ‘No one's going to tell me what to do.'

Many men deeply resent taking orders from women. Their need for autonomy seems to come to the fore when women rather than men may be controlling what they do.

Autonomous players are liable to resent anyone who takes away their sense of being free to choose exactly what they do and when.

Stepping stones Being an autonomous player, you have a strong need to be the captain of your own destiny.

One way is to learn to align your own free will with the instruction you have received. Of course, you do ultimately have some choice. You could refuse to do the work demanded.

However, that will have consequences, probably serious ones. For this reason alone, you can choose to do what's asked. But fear of negative consequences isn't usually a very good motivation for an autonomy-driven person.

You generally need to find a more immediate reason. The challenge is to rethink the situation so that you can put your whole self behind the task.

Stumbling block: Hidden dependence ‘I'm not dependent. Make me a cup of coffee, will you?'

Some men affirm their separateness from others because they believe the alternative is unwelcome dependence. When this is their underlying reason, they have not achieved true autonomy. They are instead caught up in rebellious individualism. Some men are so conditioned to expect subservience from others, some are so used to being nurtured, that they don't realise how often they are relying on others anyway - both in the workplace and at home. The unthinking assignment of menial tasks to women because ‘that's what women do' is a common source of deep resentment for women.

Some men affirm their separateness from others because they believe the alternative is unwelcome dependence. When this is their underlying reason, they have not achieved true autonomy. They are instead caught up in rebellious individualism. Some men are so conditioned to expect subservience from others, some are so used to being nurtured, that they don't realise how often they are relying on others anyway - both in the workplace and at home. The unthinking assignment of menial tasks to women because ‘that's what women do' is a common source of deep resentment for women.

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Stepping stones Very autonomous people can take the service of others for granted. When they are conscious of their interdependency on others, they will respect and recognise their reliance on those who do more routine tasks on their behalf. When other people do things for us, it needs: • thanks; • praise; • acknowledgment of the interdependent relationship; • adequate financial reward; and • appropriate opportunities to advance to tasks with greater levels of responsibility Stumbling block: Inability to sustain contact ‘He never takes a moment to just talk.'

For many autonomous players, too large a dose of interaction takes them beyond their comfort zone. Autonomous players and interdependent players sustain different quantities of contact. This difference is most obvious at times of stress, when the interdependent player will usually attempt to engage with other people, while the autonomous player is likely to withdraw. Sometimes autonomous people will appear to be attending when they are not really listening and at other times they don't even pretend. In sustained periods of stress, it can be all too easy for autonomous people to move into isolation and let important relationships fall into disrepair. The very autonomous person may find connection with others difficult at the best of times. Sometimes it's due to an introverted personality style.

Sometimes it masks insecurity or a fear of closeness with others.

Stepping stones Allow time when you're not overly stressed to connect on a personal level with others who desire it. It doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, but it does have to be personal so they can build a sense of connection with you. Connection is a two-way process - learning about the other person as well as allowing yourself to be known to them. True autonomy is not incompatible with a degree of reliance on others, or with recognising and fulfilling others' reasonable needs for intimacy and involvement.

For psychological wellbeing, both autonomous and interdependent players need to create a balance between both sets of values and possess the flexibility to adjust to circumstances.

Both need to develop a strong sense of self and an ability to set clear boundaries. Both need to be able to give and receive support without negative consequences. True autonomy gives you a clear sense of your separate self with a capacity to create real connection with others.

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ALTERNATIVES FOR HANDLING VALUES COLLISIONS Challenging and changing values The deep anger generated by values conflicts can become an instrument for positive change. People's values are not easily brought into question. They have a long history. They are generally unlikely to be open for reconsideration. Yet if we fail to address the values collision, it is likely to fester and become a serious communication breakdown.

It is not the differences in values per se that lead to conflict, but rather the claim that one value should dominate or be applied generally even by those who hold different values.

Values are our guide to what's right for us. Problems arise when we use our values to dictate what's right for other people, too.

When communicating your point of view, limit your use of ‘oughts', ‘shoulds' and ‘musts'.

Useful alternatives are: ‘The way I see it ...', or ‘What seems important to me to consider is ...'.

When someone is expressing values you personally disagree with, you may wish to make it clear that their value is personal to them: ‘So do you feel that it's really important to preserve your status in this situation', or ‘So you feel a bit of healthy competition is a good thing here?', or ‘So you want to keep relationships between staff harmonious?'. You move the emphasis away from moral imperatives and back to statements of legitimate, but personal, opinions. In dealing with a clash of values where the other person's value is not particularly honourable or suitable, it is sometimes wiser not to encourage them to state the value they hold. Let's consider here a psychological theory called cognitive dissonance, the term used for the inner tension that causes us to alter either values or behaviours.

When our values and behaviour conflict, we restore their alignment by changing one or the other. If there is a discrepancy between what is publicly declared and what is privately believed, this is usually resolved by the person shifting the privately held value to align with the publicly stated one. So be careful. People cement in place values they publicly declare. If someone can be encouraged to state in public a positive value, the positive value is more likely to motivate future action, even if at the time they don't really believe it.

The theory of cognitive dissonance maintains that although values/behaviour modification is a two-way street, the heaviest traffic is in the direction of behaviour driving the revision of values. Thus, if you are able to get people to alter their behaviour, their values are likely to shift gradually, too.

It's important to remember that most people maintain a fairly consistent set of values throughout their lives. I believe this applies to the eight gender-linked values discussed in this book. Experience will modify behaviour to some extent and thereby impact on the value and refine it, but in the crisis of conflict people return to their preferred ‘corners' that have probably been established since childhood.

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that is, it appears relevant and achievable - we may also be catalyst for some values reassessment.

Values collisions are particularly likely to occur at times when society's attitudes are in a state of flux. Both men and women struggle with defining new boundaries of acceptable behaviour. Expectations are changing so rapidly, that people often don't know where they stand.

As we absorb what the media, legislation, latest best business practice and colleagues are saying, we are swept away from rigidly defined masculine and feminine stereotypes and values. The new workplace mix of men and women is taking us into uncharted waters. We cannot fall back on prescribed, clear gender roles any longer. Individuals must work out their own personal response to the enormous choice. In this sea of new relationships, conflict resolution skills and techniques for handling values collisions are life rafts. They can give us the courage to tackle the tough issues.

A willingness to resolve conflict, first in yourself and then in the other person, will be the major breakthrough. As soon as you start focusing attention on the conflict resolving or dissolving process, things generally begin to change for the better - and often very rapidly.

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HANDLING COMPLAINTS By its’ very nature of being a service industry, dealing with people will create some tense and difficult situations in our communications. The focus of dealings is often concerning valuable property and large sums of money; hence the issues can be highly emotive, sparking stress and sometimes aggression. By using the appropriate communication skills we can diffuse such difficult or aggressive client behaviour. A complaint may be received by the agency either verbally, by fax, email, letter, or via a customer feedback survey and it is the method of handling the complaint that is crucial to the agency.

Correct business conduct and the legislation require that complaints be documented in a “Complaints Register”. A record of incidences and complaints can then be explored and resolution of those incidences is also documented.

The legislation of the Property Stock and Business Agents Act 2002 Section 32 dictates that there must be formal procedures in place for the handling of complaints. These are:

A licensee must maintain documented complaint handling procedures. These procedures shall include a process that ensures that all complaints about staff behaviour towards consumers, and the agency’s response to those complaints, are recorded and retained. The procedure is to provide that complaints of a financial nature are directed to the attention of the licensee in charge or the Manager to be supervised directly by that person. A separate record of the handling of financial complaints must be kept.

Due to the large sums of money in real estate transactions it is also particularly important to register any complaints of a financial nature. This ensures adequate tracking of any discrepancies and admission of error, showing the agency’s accountability in all transactions. E.g. If a landlord does not receive his monthly account, it will be important to track his money, referring to his account and the rents received. Any outstanding money needs to be traced and accounted to the landlord. Monitoring of complaints in this formal manner protects the agency, the client and the staff. It is important that all agency staff is familiar with the agency policy regarding the handling of complaints to assist the process of resolution and continual improvement of the agency’s procedures. The complaints register needs to be completed by the appropriate person and dealt with according to agency policy.

Another complaint scenario: Mr. Sweet calls the agency, complaining to you the receptionist that the sales agent did not turn up to their appointment at 10 Victoria Ave 45 minutes ago and he is still waiting there. As well as handling the issue and attempting to locate the missing agent, the complaints register should be completed. A sample format of a complaints register could be:

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COMPLAINTS REGISTER

Date

Name

Contact Details

Nature of Complaint

Internal direction of complaint

Corrective strategies adopted by agency

Outcome

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DIFFICULT CLIENTS As mentioned previously we cannot escape the possibility of conflict occurring in our dealings with clients given the nature of the dealings in real estate. Conflict is perceived as a negative issue when people have different needs they are trying to meet but negative reactions or responses result instead of their needs being satisfied.

Conflict situations are not easily managed and we need to apply the appropriate strategies in the workplace to diffuse the conflict and achieve positive outcomes from the experience.

Sample conflict situations that can occur in real estate: • • • • • • •

Not upholding duties; the agent not doing what they said they would Poor quality of advertising, unsuitable photos published Tenants breaching their agreement, putting dogs into the premises Misinterpretation of details, buyers thinking that the property is off the market due to their offer being accepted Allocation of workload; scarcity of human resources in the office Differences of opinion or perceptions over in-office duties Allegations of discrimination

Aim for Outcomes- an appropriate skill when dealing with difficult clients is to aim for effective outcomes to satisfy all parties and to resolve the conflict. Negotiation skills will assist you to arrive at the best outcome, which is a WIN/WIN situation. This refers to resolving the issue when both parties feel that they have gained from the negotiation. The most optimal outcome will be one that is accepted by both parties as meeting their needs and solving the conflict. If conflicting needs and negative reactions continue, the situation can be made worse, therefore a solution is always sought.

Consider this scenario: Peter the property manager has informed Tommy tenant in writing that the townhouse he leases is listed for sale. Peter requests in the letter that he wants an appointment with Tommy next week to organize access to his townhouse and inspection arrangements for the sales team. The following week Tommy does not respond to the letter and Peter cannot reach him by phone. Peter is feeling the pressure from the salespeople, the contract is now in the agency and the property is formally on the market.

Two weeks down the track the for-sale sign goes up in front of the townhouse and the agents have buyers to inspect the premises. Peter sends a letter to Tommy informing him again of the lack of Tommy’s response and gives him 7 days’ notice that inspections will be occurring on Saturday. That Saturday the agents take their buyers through the townhouse.

Tommy arrives home to see the agent’s card and storms up to the agency to have a piece of Peter for entering the townhouse.

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DIFFICULT CLIENTS OVER THE TELEPHONE The telephone can be an effective way to communicate and promote and market the agency, however not all communication over the phone will be pleasant. Rejection over the phone can feel very impersonal and final in its effect. Angry clients can use the telephone to their advantage and the receiver lacks the use of those non-verbal clues to attempt to diffuse the anger.

Strategies to use with such difficult clients: • Let the client talk, it provides you with a lot of information and can assist to diffuse their anger • Take notes as they talk to record details, always get their name and number • Use a calm, monotone voice • Show reflective listening by summarising the issues to them • Be apologetic but do not admit blame, this must be handled by the appropriate person in the agency • Gauge the urgency of the situation, you may need to seek assistance immediately • Show empathy and advise them of how their problem will be dealt with • Ensure the incident is recorded in the complaints register

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SIGNS OF CONFLICT A useful strategy when dealing with difficult clients is to be able to recognize behavior associated with conflict, these are: • Physical aggression • Verbal threats • Signs of distress such as trembling • Intimidation or ridicule • Resentment Use your communication skills in the attempt at diffusing these behavioural signs by listening for their emotion, empathic listening will assist you to identify the conflict and view it from their perspective. Also treat their emotion, focus on the issue not the person themselves, let them have their say, do not get defensive. Be firm but respectful, explain how you can/cannot assist them in an honest, approachable manner and finally keep calm.

If you display conflict behaviour the situation will be exacerbated, a smooth tone and voice will not aggravate their behaviour.

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ELEMENT OF COMPETENCY ELEMENT

PERFORMANCE CRITERIA

3 Evaluate response.

3.1

3.2

3.3

3.4

3.5

Effectiveness of response is evaluated and reviewed according to legislative and organisational requirements.

Response evaluation findings are organised in a format suitable for analysis according to organisational requirements.

Incident observations are provided in an accurate, concise and constructive manner when reviewing and debriefing situations.

Business equipment and technology are used to prepare records and reports according to applicable WHS, legislative and organisational requirements.

Information is securely maintained with due regard to confidentiality, and legislative and organisational requirements.

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ELEMENT 3 – EVALUATE RESPONSE The process of reviewing and evaluating your organisation’s complaints and disputes is critical for continuous improvement and the mitigation of these.

Benefits of reviewing and evaluating disputes are: •

you can see inappropriate behaviour patterns by team members

•

you can see what are the areas of the inappropriate behaviour

•

you can put in some timelines for when the above occurs

•

you can see if and when measures were put in place to rectify the complaint/ disputes

•

are you currently using a complaints/ disputes register? If not, why not?

A lot of great information can be sourced from previous complaints and disputes.

If you do not measure it you can’t improve it!

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TENANCY ISSUES Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let problems with tenants escalate If a problem arises at any point in the tenancy, taking a pro-active approach to resolving the issue may be an effective way to prevent the problem from escalating into a dispute. Minor problems can become major issues if not dealt with early enough.

Fair Trading encourages landlords and agents to intervene early when tenancy problems first emerge. For example, a tenant may be experiencing some kind of temporary personal crisis which is affecting their tenancy. Rather than take action in accordance with the tenancy agreement or the Act it may be more practical to provide the tenant with information on where to go for help, such as a Tenancy Advice and Advocacy Service.

Resolving problems quickly is not only good for tenants, it also benefits you the landlord by minimising the possibility of financial loss.

When you have problems The first step in resolving a dispute is to discuss the matter with the parties involved. Ensure you have a clear understanding of your rights and responsibilities in relation to the dispute by checking the residential tenancy agreement, reading the Tenancy handbook or contacting Fair Trading.

If the dispute with your tenant cannot be resolved either on your own or with the assistance of Fair Trading, you may have to take the case to the Consumer Trader and Tenancy Tribunal (CTTT). The role of the CTTT is to quickly and effectively resolve disputes between tenants, landlords, traders and consumers.

NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal â&#x20AC;&#x201C; NCAT http://www.ncat.nsw.gov.au/ It is recognised that information will not resolve every problem or dispute. Some matters may need to be taken to the Consumer and Commercial Division of NCAT. Fair Trading staff can answer any questions you may have on the process involved.

The Consumer and Commercial Division is an independent decision making body which hears and decides applications for orders from tenants and landlords. The Consumer and Commercial Division is a quick, inexpensive, and relatively informal way of resolving disputes.

Administrative Review Application Form on next page.. Alternatively, pick up an application form from your nearest Fair Trading Centre.

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Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 85 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 87 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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Costs Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 88 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

The current fee for applying to the The Consumer and Commercial Division of NCAT can be found on the NCAT fees page. A reduced fee is also available for eligible pensioners and full time students. Hearings are usually held within one month and are conducted at a venue as close as possible to the premises.

Time limits There are prescribed time limits for making applications to the NCAT for certain orders. For example, in cases where an order is requested regarding broken terms of the tenancy agreement, this order should normally be sought within 30 days of becoming aware of the event.

NCAT ORDERS NCAT can make orders, among others that: • a term of the agreement be complied with • compensation be paid to a tenant or landlord • a rent increase is excessive • the agreement be ended • a rental bond be paid More information about time limits and orders is available on the NCAT website.

Hearings The Member will first ask the parties to try to reach a settlement. If this cannot be achieved the case will then be heard in the Tribunal hearing room. The Member will allow both parties, in turn, to tell their side of the events and present any evidence.

Hearings are usually informal, but formal hearings can be held on request, where witnesses can be called and evidence is given under oath.

It is up to the person who made the application to provide enough evidence to convince the Tribunal Member, on the balance of probabilities, that the orders they are seeking should be given. Any orders made are binding.

Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 89 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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BUSINESS EQUIPMENT AND TECHNOLOGY ARE USED TO PREPARE RECORDS AND REPORTS ACCORDING TO APPLICABLE WHS/ OHS LEGISLATIONS AND ORGANISATIONAL REQUIREMENTS

Best practice agencies use a variety of business technology and equipment in preparing and recording records and reports.

These business tools will include the following: Computers: with appropriate programs ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Laser Printers ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Fax Machines ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Emails ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ Mobile Phone Texts ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________

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Thermal Binding Machine ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ CRM System (Customer Relationship Management System) ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________

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________________________ CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate)

CONCLUSION Congratulations! You have now completed the activities and assessments for CPPDSM4056 Manage conflict and disputes in the property industry.

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ACTS REGULATIONS AND FORMS â?&#x2013;NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal Application Form

Doc ID: CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning Date: 28/03/2018 Developed by: SL Version: 5 Approved by: CEO P a g e | 93 File LocationS:\Learning & Assessment Resources\Real Estate\CPP40307 Certificate IV in Property Services (Real Estate) NSW\Assessment Tools\19. CPPDSM4056\CPPDSM4056 - Workbook (L) eLearning.doc

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