Off My Chest: In My Zone

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people experiencing, navigating and surviving complex traumas in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising

LION SPEAKS

and publishing memoirs, participants strengthen self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives.

Off My Chest is the culminating work from ConTextos’ 2025 summer internship in collaboration with the Steans Family Foundation, an organization dedicating time, resources and skills within the North Lawndale community. The youth featured in this compilation undertook this journey of self-reflection and subsequent creation through ConTextos’ Authors Circle. All stories matter. And every human being has stories to tell.

The pages of this compilation are full of a few of them.

The writing in this compilation reveals the complex truths of powerful and beautiful Chicago youth transcending the narratives assigned to them. The works in this book are raw, real, and revealing. We invite you to behold and hold space for the inner workings of youth who are the face of the future.

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"Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."

- African Proverb

In collaboration with:

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Dear Young Visionaries, You stepped into this internship with curiosity, courage, and a willingness to grow—and you’ve done exactly that. Over these weeks, you’ve learned new

INTRODUCTION

skills, faced challenges, and discovered strengths you didn’t even know you had. You came as individuals with your own dreams, stories, and strengths, and you leave as a collective force ready to take on what’s next.

Remember, growth isn’t always loud—it’s in the quiet confidence you carry now, the courage to try again, and the wisdom to know your worth. What you’ve gained here is more than experience—it’s the foundation for everything you will build next. Let your voice be heard, your ideas be seen, and your work speak for itself.

The road ahead will not always be easy, but it will always be worth it if you lead with purpose, kindness, and confidence in who you are. The world needs your ideas, you energy, and your perspective. Keep creating, keep questioning, and keep moving towards the life you imagine.

I am so proud of you, and I can’t wait to see you rise.

With Love and belief in you, Kali Rose, Dean of Interns

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INTRODUCTION

When I look at you, I can’t help but to see me…

I see in you now what I couldn’t see in myself when I was your age: opportunities, possibilities, the chance to imagine being whatever you want to be, and access to the doors to walk through to make it happen. I see your value, your brilliance, your intelligence, and creativity; I see your toughness and tenacity, your individuality and ability to style effortlessly. I see your courage and intrepidity, that Chi-Town drip and swag bold enough to set new trends and brazen enough claim it as your own. I see you as leaders with the power to become the kind of change agents that this world so desperately needs. I see you! What I hope, with my whole heart, is that you see yourselves.

Throughout our short time together, I hope that I played some small part in helping you to see your value and worth and in encouraging you to know that you are capable of reaching for the stars and grabbing hold of galaxies. I hope that I played some small part in providing you with the tools to hone and own your stories, gifts, and talents and to use them for your beneficial best interests and the beneficial best interests of others.

Just as importantly, I hope that I served you well in developing an ethic of inter and intrapersonal responsibility and accountability.

I love you all as if you were my own children. I wish you all the best in the things you choose to commit yourselves to on your journey. I promise to continue to walk with you along the way.

Because when I see you, I can’t help but to see me!

Spankey Davis, Facilitator and Community Advocate 6

Dear Youth,

INTRODUCTION

It has been a treasure of an experience working with y’all this summer. I hope you all are proud of yourselves, because this experience and the hard work you did to get here shows that you're capable of anything. I know I will see y'all in the future again very soon, but until then I want to leave you with a couple of my hopes and wishes.

My first wish is that you keep writing (even if you hate it). Whether it’s journaling, poetry, rap... just keep writing. Your perspective is so vital to making the world a better place. Y’all have insights and experiences that put you closest to solving the world's problems. You are the brilliant minds of the future. So trust yourself, be proud of your experience, and do something with it. Let it lead you to heights you had not imagined. And keep writing!

My second wish is that you remember to ask for help. This was one a lot of us struggled with, and truthfully will probably struggle with for a long time.

Being vulnerable is a strength, and I hope y’all continue to nurture it through staying connected with each other. I hope you continue to surround yourself with people who care about you and have similar life goals. I hope all of y’all are still friends years from now, and that you remember ConTextos: the stories, experiences, and the lessons that bond us together.

I believe in each and every one of you and the incredible things y’all will do.

Stay curious, stay bold, and never stop using your voice. I'll be cheering you on every step of the way.

Love, Ahnika, Facilitator and Community Advocate 7

Dear Reader, These stories are more than words on paper—they are pieces of real lives in

FOR THE READER

motion. Each voice you meet here belongs to a young person still finding their place in the world, shaped by triumphs, struggles, questions, and hope. Their journeys will not look like yours, and that difference is where the beauty lives.

Read slowly. Listen deeply. These voices carry the weight of beginnings, the ache of lessons learned too soon, and the spark of dreams not yet realized.

They are not asking for judgement—they are asking to be heard.

As you turn each page, honor their bravery for telling their own stories, allow their truths to expand your understanding, and let their words move you beyond what you know. Meet them with patience, empathy, and care— because in doing so, you help create the world they deserve to grow in.

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OFF MY CHEST: IN MY ZONE TABLE OF CONTENTS

LION SPEAKS INTRODUCTION AESHA THAIESE DANNY MALIK MARIAH DULCE JAVON JERAMIAH TENISHA LAYLA

3 5 12 16 21 24 29 32 37 40 43 47

JADEN KAMERON JADA SAVION TYWON SHANIYA MARCUS AMYA TRAVANT SEAN CLOSING

51 55 58 61 64 67 71 76 80 84 88

dication.”

“Wo r k

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de eal

AESHA 12

AESHA I’m from dying at a young age From wetting the bed and bed bugs.

I AM FROM

I’m from black people not getting equal rights.

I’m from negativity and bad vibes.

I'm from mac and cheese.

From freestyles and cookouts.

I’m from sleepovers with my cousins where we all popped melatonin and the first one to go to sleep got splashed with water.

From Tamisha’s Lawn Service and riding in the back of Uncle Moe's truck in the summer time.

From going to watch lil’ bro drop 15 per game.

SINCE YOU ASKED

I’m from Aesha to Baby D.

Ma, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I'm so angry…

Because I hate Dec 29th!

Because you are not here.

Because December isn't snowing without you.

Because He’ll rather spend one last Christmas than many more.

Because what’s Dec 25th without my Santa.

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AESHA

I will feel loved more if I see my dad more.

NIKKI-ROSA

I will feel loved more if we have deeper talks.

I will feel loved more if I could see my mama more.

I will feel loved more if I am celebrated more.

I would feel loved if my family were to hang out more.

I would feel loved more if I had more support.

I felt loved more when titi and unc took me in.

I felt loved more when I realized I was getting brothers.

I felt loved more when my family gave that extra love after my mama passed.

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NORMAL NOT NORMAL

AESHA

When people's dads leave, when people die, when people lie, when people kill, also when black and brown people die at a young age.

When people tell you they love you and they really don’t.

It’s hard to love when someone broke your heart before, it may be hard to love again and recover.

15

im

breathe.”

“Take

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elf, s r u

THAIESE 16

THAIESE

I AM FROM

I am from out-south and out-west. I've touched both sides.

I'm from extra mild sauce on my chicken and fries.

I’m from ding dong ditch, riding bikes then going to middle schools and instigating fights.

I'm from dressing up every holiday and playing in the snow.

I'm from the ‘Raq, where we never know what the weather will be.

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THAIESE

Mom, since you asked, I'll tell you why I'm so avoidant…

Because I was always turned away

SINCE YOU ASKED

Because I hate feeling like a burden Because I’d rather not be judged Because I hate pity Because I hate asking for help Because I believed I could fix it myself Because I’d rather confide in myself Because I hate being let down Because I’d rather suffer Because if nobody has me, I do.

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THAIESE

The bystander effect is way

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

too normal to today's society.

A lot of people would rather sit around and rather record a situation than to actually stand up and offer support.

Something that should be normalized is taking accountability.

A lot of situations that happen are because of the lack of accountability and are just misunderstandings that could be talked about.

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THAIESE

I don't know what LOVE I deserve!

Because at times I feel undeserving of it.

I feel as if I don't deserve love because every person I’ve loved left at some

NIKKI-ROSA

point in life.

What I want is little things like notes.

Or remembering things I like.

To have a real bond.

I have a big heart and I love loving people because I'm used to people having a good time and not a long one.

I love being in love.

I believe it's one of the best feelings En el mundo yo no le gusta falling out of love.

That hands down is one of the worst feelings en el mundo.

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DANNY 21

DANNY

NIKKI-ROSA

I think the amount of love you should receive counts for the loyalty you give.

To feel loved you need loyalty. When I was young I felt loved a lot. My mom always showed me love. Even after I would do something bad, she always had my back. This is how I know that her love is unconditional. I stayed in trouble! Teachers used to always call home but no matter what, my mom still got me what I asked for. She taught me to forgive and forget. I remember one time I had a situation with a teacher when I was in fifth grade. Even though my mother found out the truth of what I actually did, she still had my back.

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DANNY Dear Basketball, I loved the game so much when I first started hooping. I only started hooping because of Devon. I was trash, no lie! I remember them days at Harris Park when coach Charles used to stay on my ass. I ain’t used to do nun but play around. I was the weakest person in the gym; barely made a lay up, but after I stopped going there, I kinda started taking it seriously. I played for a lil’ bit then left to workout with Ahmad, which is one of the

DEAR WRITING

reasons I'm better now. I was an eighth grader the following season, but I didn't take school seriously. I went to a weak school and they sat me on the bench for the whole year! After that, I didn't wanna be on the team anymore. Then I went to play for Team M.O.R.E with Coach Tae. From the first day I met him, we been locked in! While playing with them, I met Coach Keys and transferred to Longwood. I saw how much my game improved with me being one of the youngest players on the team and playing against upperclassmen. I can say that helped me a lot. We had a 22-23 season that year at Longwood. It wasn't the best winning wise, but it led to me transferring with Coach Tae at his first time coaching high school basketball. In my junior year I averaged almost 30 points, but we weren't really winning and we ended up falling short and losing in the 1st round at the state playoffs. My senior year was way better than my junior’s. We had a way better team and greater success that led to us winning a Noble championship and winning a regional state championship. However, we fell short one game that ended our season. I thank all my coaches and trainers for believing in me and helping me on this journey.

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MALIK 24

MALIK

I am from noodles, soul food, BBQ, chips, nachos, hot chips, school donuts.

I am from a big family: aunties, uncles, eight siblings, grandmas, grandfathers, Both parents in life.

I AM FROM

I’m from clothes, bikes, trains.

I’m from, “don’t talk back,” “Don’t ask for anything when we get in this store,” “Stop touching stuff,” and “Get off that phone/game and go outside.”

I am from baby pictures, family pictures, graduation pictures I’m from riding bikes, going to parks, tag, hide and seek, ding dong ditch I’m from BBQ smell, loud smell, home cooked meals, and cleaning supplies I am from sounds of gunshots, police sirens, Church music, hood music, screaming I’m from seasoned food, soul food, Kool aid, drinks, snacks.

I’m from rocks, grass, snow, rain.

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MALIK

Mom, since you asked I will tell you why I’m always in the clouds

SINCE YOU ASKED

Because since freshman year I been going through a lot, Because I can't ever get to a point where I can vent or express my feelings.

Because my life changed my first time losing somebody.

Because it helps me stay calm during the day Because if I don't, I start thinking about the ones I lost to death Because I barely sleep at night Because after losing my day one homie, it still hurts Because I miss the calls to pop outside Because I wish we texted more the night before he passed away Because we was supposed to get rich in life together Because I could trust him with any and everything Because it stopped me from getting in my feelings Because after I lost somebody, I lost another person a month or 2 later.

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MALIK

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

Things that’s normalized that shouldn’t be is how kids are smoking and popping pills at a very young age. Also with anybody popping pills at any age. Also how killing/shooting people is normalized. We shouldn’t have to lose our life at an early age. It should be old age and by nature, not killing.

Something that should be normal is kids going outside to play and not having to worry about getting hurt or seeing one of their friends getting hurt. Also we should normalize not hurting women at all. Just because they don’t wanna socialize with you doesn’t mean you should up a gun on them, pointing it at them, shooting them, or even hitting them with bare hands.

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MALIK Dear Safe Place, A place I feel safe and comfortable is at my father’s house. The reason I say my father’s house is because everytime I go out there, it is always peaceful and calm. When I'm out there I dont have to worry about anything.

DEAR WRIITNG

You won’t hear police sirens or gunshots or anything ghetto happening while out there. I also get some good breakfast made every time I'm out there. My home feels comfortable because that's where I sleep every night.

Also I be peaceful in my home.

Something or someone that is important to me is my parents. The reason they are important to me is because they birthed me, Also they are the main two people who encourage me and are always by my side and never give up on me with anything I want to do or be in life. The other reason I say them is because they will always be there for me, no matter what I have going on.

Something I have overcome was actually writing down and expressing my thoughts and feelings instead of keeping everything inside and not showing how I feel. Also speaking up for what I actually care about and think.

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MARIAH 29

MARIAH I'm from police sirens and alarms

I AM FROM

I'm from late-night shooting and daylight shooting I'm from abandoned buildings and traphouses I’m from trash-covered streets and drug lords who creep at night BUT I'm also from joined laughter and block parties I’m from not comos and bauretts I’m from skyscrapers and deep-dish pizza I’m from wet winters and humid summers I’m from candy ladies with icees and nachos on the corner I’m from CHICAGO

NIKKI-ROSA

Love growing up looked like Arguing one day and making up the next It sounded like pulling all-nighters and laughing until the sun rose It smelled like home-cooked meals on Sundays, followed by group cleaning Love was family vacations and road trips It was fighting over the passenger seat and the remote It was sitting for hours doing each other's hair and fighting afterwards It was my mom picking us up from school after working all day

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SINCE YOU ASKED

MARIAH Grandma, since you ASKED, I’ll tell you why I’m so upset Because you were the glue to the family Because I miss your home-cooked meals and kisses Because I now take care of you like you used to take care of me Because weekends at your house aren’t the same Because while your body is here, your mind is somewhere else Because this sickness has captured your soul Because you’re fighting so hard, yet you’re just not quite there yet

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

Gang life in Chicago isn’t normal and shouldn't be normalized. This is because it’s a never-ending cycle. It’s a generational curse; the youth turn to the streets looking for love and protection that they never felt at home in hopes of finding a new home and a new family, but as I mentioned earlier, it’s a curse. It’s a never-ending cycle of fear, anticipation, grief, and death.

It’s a never-ending cycle of funerals and trauma, a never-ending cycle of running and never looking back; you never really have a day off. You don’t have the time to relax because your mind won’t let you. Gang life is full of constant fear and grief. THERE IS NO LIFE IN THAT LIFESTYLE!

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DULCE 32

DULCE

Love growing up sounded like the nickname “Pantera,” and “Yurie” Love looked like my 2 cousins growing up Love were the hands holding me as I rode the skateboard, making sure I didn’t fall.

Love looked like the braids, ponytails, and hairstyles for school.

NIKKI-ROSA

Love looked like my dad picking up pennies on the floor just to afford a Little Caesars 5 dollar pizza.

Love looks like my dog wagging her tail when I open a bag that crinkles.

Love looked like my cousin’s determination to get me to the concert I’ve been wanting to go to despite the incident a day before, his words “We gon make it there.”

But love also looked like the care and love I still gave despite being hurt by the same person over and over again.

Love also looks like staying there for the person who’s clearly a bad person but still seeing the best of them.

Love is having to love the people at home despite what they say and do to you.

This is love... right?

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DULCE

I’m from where it all started, my older cousins who I played with growing up

I AM FROM

The digital camera with pictures frozen in time, with my little pigtails, and later on the Dora haircut.

I’m from reading papers to translate at a young age.

I’m from not having anyone growing up due to being the first gen.

Im from the strength I got from being alone Broken promises Then broken family I’m from the independence Walking the stage with the pride of being the first gen along with my cousin.

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DULCE

There are several things that are normalized that shouldn’t be, such as the assumption that it's the girl’s fault when a friendly advance by a guy is rejected, or when older guys try to talk to younger girls, or when men think

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

that they can overpower women by not taking “no” for an answer.

There is also the “Bystander Effect,” where people stand by and either watch or completely ignore when someone needs help. We should always be willing to help other people out. Be “outstanders” rather than bystanders.

Another thing is when people stick to their nonchalant attitudes and lock their emotions away, erecting facades to mask their true feelings.

Particularly when it comes to men, society makes them feel like having emotional acuity is weak and being in touch with their feelings is being less than a man. Everyone should feel safe to express their true feelings, and no one should have to walk around hiding who they really are in fear of social judgement.

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DULCE

SINCE YOU ASKED

Mom, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m disrespectful: You don’t understand me, even though you swear you do.

You get angry when I answer your questions, even though you asked a question and say I’m talking back.

You only care when you need something and use it against me.

Because you don’t see your mistakes.

Because you don’t try.

Because of you.

I’m not disrespectful, you see it as that.

Because you don’t see it.

You don’t see what you do around.

Why can’t you see?

I’m not what you think I am; you are what you think I am…

36

w

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JAVON 37

JAVON SINCE YOU ASKED

Mom, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I wanna go outside so much: Because outside is fun.

Because all my friends are there.

Because I can’t do nothing in the house.

Because I can do fun things.

Because I can be a young adult.

Because I can meet new people.

Because I can become something in life.

Because people can give me a good life opportunity.

Because I can find something I wanna do and like.

Because I can learn what life really is.

I AM FROM

I'm from playing in the park to hearing gun shots.

I’m from 3PC and Italian Beef sandwiches I'm from good music and having fun.

I'm from, “be safe outside.”

I'm from bright and flashing lights.

I'm from all you see is hypes.

I'm from snowballs and candy ladies.

I'm from block parties and juke parties.

I'm from an old lady with a sweet soul.

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NORMAL NOT NORMAL

JAVON

Something that’s normalized that’s not normal is making people strip while they’re getting robbed on camera, kids playing with their noses, kids gangbanging playing with guns. Rapping is not for everybody.

Something that should be normalized is staying/going to school.

Something that’s assumed when we say rapping is not for everybody is that we hating.

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JERAMIAH 40

JERAMIAH

NIKKI-ROSA

Love is my G Love growing up is not having much, but making what you do have work Love growing up is pushing me to my limits to be great Love growing up is getting on me whenever my grades are bad Love growing up is spending your last on me just to make me happy Love growing up is arguing over the little things then being cool two minutes later Love is putting me back in line whenever I fall out of line Love is MY GRANDMOTHER

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NORMAL NOT NORMAL

DEAR WRITING

JERAMIAH

Dear future self, I hope we make our life long dream come true of making it to the NFL and moving our family to a nice peaceful place. I also hope we get to marry Jada and have a nice family with a nice home and lots of money to spend and spoil my loved ones with while also having a good crowd to be around to elevate myself with, and also growing old and getting to see my children and grandchildren grow.

Two things I feel like shouldn’t be normalized is when people are being used for their body. I feel like this because they are humans and shouldn’t be manipulated for what they have between their legs. My second thing I feel is normalized and shouldn’t be is forcing children to grow up fast, because you only get to be a kid once before you are faced with the real world.

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TENISHA 43

TENISHA

SINCE YOU ASKED

Grandma, since you asked, I'll tell you why I'm so glad.

Because you've made me that young woman that I am today.

Because since a young child, you have taught me all the important things that I needed to know. Not to be easily influenced (especially by boys) and to always know my worth and to be who I am because there is only one me.

Because I’m glad you are in my life and someone I can go to for literally anything.

Because you are an amazing, important adult figure in my life and I wouldn't ask for another grandmother in another lifetime.

Because you give me courage, hope, and overall inspire me.

Because you believe in me and tell me no wrong.

I love you grandma; I think everyone should have a grandma like mine.

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TENISHA NORMAL NOT NORMAL

Something that's normalized that I believe shouldn't is people's mental health being ignored. I believe that that's a big factor in today's society, yet people lack any care for it. I think that any time someone is going through something, it's always being overlooked; they don't feel seen or heard or cared for. So that person might end up doing something to themselves.

Any time I'm on social media and someone's getting bashed (sometimes) I feel bad because you'll never know what that person might be going through and what they've dealt with, and that person will say something about their mental health and still be ignored.

NIKKI-ROSA

The memories that made me feel loved was my mom giving me the things that I needed as well as caring for and being there for me. Other memories are with my siblings, just us hanging out talking about things we've been through or just to talk about anything that's on our minds.

A memory that made me feel loved was when my grandma would hear me out and actually talked to me about certain things and gave me advice. I believe that that’s all I need to feel loved. Just able to hear me out and actually talk to me.

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TENISHA

I am from barettes, Duck Duck Goose and

I AM FROM

the best city, my city, Chicago.

I am from Washington Park, candy bags and sirens that you hear most of the time.

I am from family reunions, tag and the place where I’d blow dandelions.

I am from my mom, blue magic and fried chicken.

I am from “don’t open the door for nobody,” cars honking, and shoes being randomly hung off wires.

I am from baby pictures, going to the park and noodles.

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LAYLA 47

LAYLA

I am from 71st I am from hot combs And Pelle coats I am from pot roast and mashed potatoes.

I AM FROM

I am from playing hide and go seek around the whole block And eating with your right hand I am from Charmaine I am from kids playing outside and cars speeding I am from pictures of my grandpa And of me with Black Santa I am from the Masjid and playing ‘catch one beat one’ I am from incense and Fabuloso I am from Alicia Keys and Michael Jackson I am from snow balls and super donuts I am from dandelions and cicadas I am from laying my clothes out before the first day of school I am from Eid and Ramadan

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LAYLA NORMAL NOT NORMAL

Something that is normalized that shouldn’t be is drugs. Not judging anyone that uses drugs to cope, but that isn’t normal. Popping pills, drinking lean, both are unhealthy habits. It may not affect them now, but a lot of young people won’t see their 40s or 50s. There are many kids abusing drugs and becoming addicts without realizing. Saying, “I can stop when I want to,” but you need them to fall asleep, eat, and even be social. Too much of anything can be deadly. Instead try sitting with your emotions or talking to someone to feel heard and not suppressed. Drugs are only a temporary fix until the next problem.

DEAR WRITING

Dear Fear, I am no longer stuck thinking about all of the worst possibilities of everything bad that could happen. Thinking of what people might say if I act this or say that, it's no longer a thought in my head. “What if I fail?”

“What if nobody likes me?” I no longer feel the need to be so self conscious about anything. You are no longer a part of my heart. I’ve let you go. Not forever, but only in cases when you are definitely not needed. For that I am better, more happy, curious, and living life.

From, Layla 49

LAYLA

SICNE YOU ASKED

Since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m motivated: Because I want a better life for my family.

Because I want to give them anything they couldn’t have.

Because I don’t want them to feel stuck.

Because I deserve success and a great life style Because I want my kids to have a great life.

Because being bigger than my surroundings is very important to me.

Because I want to be the key to generational wealth.

I am motivated because I have a hunger to win.

50

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“Pai

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ild u b ;

JADEN 51

JADEN

I’m from, “stop crying before I give you something to cry about.”

I’m from 50 cent juices at the corner stores I’m from 6 piece wings with mild sauce and lemon pepper I’m from Lil Foe and Lil Dirk

I AM FROM

I’m from the basket with all the hair products I’m from, “go get a switch off the tree.”

I’m from kids eating hot dogs and barrel juices I’m from Pelle Pelle and Arizona's I’m from bopping I’m from Drill music I’m from backyard football I’m from all white forces G Fazos I’m from addicts on the corner I’m from loud train sounds at night I’m from, “be back before the street lights turn on.”

I’m from the RAQ

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SINCE YOU ASKED

Sis, since you asked, I'll tell you why I go out so much...

JADEN

Although I know that you don’t like it, it’s my peace.

Because it's a distraction from life.

Because it silences the noisy thoughts bombarding my brain.

Because sitting in my bed leaves too much space for the wrong kinds of thoughts and bad vibrations.

Because the sound of laughter heals me.

Because I feel lost like wind pushing leaves through the streets.

Because I feel like I’m swimming underwater, scratching for the surface, only to sink deeper into darkness and the currents take me away.

What's normalized that's not normal is guys pulling guns out on girls when

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

being rejected. They assume it's "cool" or that it's “funny” but it's not! It's dangerous, corny, goofy, immature, and leaves trauma in its wake. No one should be subjected to this, but especially our women.

What should be normalized is black men saying “I love you” to their male friends, or to be given a simple hug every now and then. Men hardly ever experience this form of affection from other men. It's sad because men go through a lot. We are the backbone of a lot of households, companies, and even the country. It's not normalized because in this day and age, men being affectionate to other men is perceived as being soft or sus when it's really just showing love.

53

JADEN

Dear Heights…

DEAR WRITING

I'm not afraid of you anymore.

You brought me anxiety, stress, fear, and a sense of danger.

I hated you, but now you bring me peace.

Standing tall on the tops of mountains or on top of a skyscraper makes me feel strong, powerful, and bold.

The wind up there makes it feel like you're flying.

Up there, It feels like you’re on top of the world as opposed to down below where it feels like death is imminent.

Being in places that are high up from the ground is so relaxing now.

Up there, I look over the city of Chicago, watching people go about their daily lives while day-dreaming in the sky I'm not afraid anymore.

54

ht

h

l come . ”

“Thin

kb

rig

,t

ig l e

il w t h

KAMERON 55

DEAR WRITING

SINCE YOU ASKED

KAMERON

Big brother, since you asked I’ll tell you why I’m so outgoing Because we didn’t get to grow together Because without you I feel like I’m missing a piece to the puzzle Because I want to make mom proud because you couldn’t Because you left me confused and scared Because of you I have to keep going and this for you

Dear Future Self, Sometimes I want to clown you for being so second-minded.

I just want to tell you to always keep going and to never let nobody put you down just because they are not on shit and not on the same timing you are.

You really one of a kind and I just want to tell you keep being you and keep making these dudes hate on you. Cause they are not messing with you on any day!

56

KAMERON

NIKKI ROSA

The love I feel like I deserve is a caring love and uplifting Love I need is somebody I can always count on and be there for me to feel loved Because I feel like that's the only way you can tell if someone really loves you for you. Because someone can always change you. The memories that made me feel love is my mother always having my back when I needed her the most. Also, someone not lying and standing on their word makes me feel loved.

I AM FROM

I am from Robin Jeans From Granny’s crib sleeping with my cousins From Sunday cleaning and family gatherings From fried chicken and hot fries From the loud gunshots and parties down the block From my mom blasting gospel music From tough love and Chief Keef I am from the smell of sunflowers and roses on a hot sunny day I am from not being able to walk at night or 12 going to bother you

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ckground

.”

“Don’ t ev

er

jud

ge

a

pe

rs

s ba ’ n o

JADA 58

SINCE YOU ASKED

JADA Dad, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m demented Because you hurt me in so many ways Because you told me the reason why you chose to be outside rather than spend time with your own daughter Because you waited until I was 16-17 years old to be around fully Becasue I am disappointed in you

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

The thing that is normalized that shouldn't be normalized is older men talking to underage girls. I have to deal with that every day. Mind you that I don’t do too much but head where I need to be. You could just be walking and some grown man would try to talk to you. To me I feel like it’s disgusting and not right for that to happen. Another thing that is normalized is men not taking accountability for their actions. I say this because they shouldn't blame their childhood for how they react and feel. I wish my father and other people took a different route. I wish he spoke to me at an earlier age. When men don’t want to hold themselves accountable for something, they try to blame the other person.

59

JADA I am from 1300 Where you see people hanging out on porches and sidewalks.

I am from the west side where I can walk to the yellow or the Adams store.

When it's hot outside me and my cousins can go to snowball stands for candy, drinks, etc.

I am from Chicago When I am walking anywhere, I see people asking for money on the trains.

I AM FROM

Where I am from every time I walk into a coway building It’s always pissy hallways.

When I had to get my hair done, my momma would say, “Go get the blue grease, comb, and the rubber bands.”

When it was time for me and my sisters to get a perm, my momma would use Just For Me for our hair.

Where I am from my grandma always made peach cobblers, homemade chili, and ghetto punch.

I am from Chicago where I always see churches, restaurants, libraries, and corner stores.

I am from where my cousin chased me with sticky bugs.

I am from police sirens And when I go outside I see little kids.

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ft

a

ith peace

.”

“Grind y

ou

rs

el

o

e r g

sw s e tn

SAVION 61

I am from a hard life and broken homes

SAVION

I am from the Roseland area I am from fast cars and electronics and people serving around the block I am from soul food and struggle meals

I AM FROM

I am from Ahkevah, Donna, and Latisha I am from a place of killing, drug dealing, robbing, stealing, kidnapping, and more I am from rap music and gossip I am from baby pictures and memories I am from crate rims and bad scars from ding dong ditch and jumping fences I am from cologne, weed, liquor, BBQ, sweat from gunshots and sirens I am from arguing and chaos I am from fast food and home cooked meals I am from roses and daisies I am from holidays with the family

NIKKI-ROSA

I am from scabs, fireworks, and taking risk

What love looked like for me was peace and my family. I needed my family to build true bonds to feel completely loved. One memory I felt made me feel loved was letting my mom see me finish school. I feel like love is deserving and true. Love can show itself in many different ways but it’s all up to you to find it and keep it. My advice is don't run from love.

62

SAVION

Since you asked, I’m gonna tell you why I’m stuck-up

SINCE YOU ASKED

Because my closest friend died right next to me Because we don’t share the same dream anymore Because I can’t come in to take your snacks Because we can’t pick on your nephews and brothers anymore together Because your mom can’t cook for us anymore Because I feel empty when I don’t get to talk Because I can’t focus without thinking about you Because the ambulance didn’t come on time Because I feel like your life was taken Because I gave you a name and you ran with it Because you was the first friend I had Because bonds like that only come like that once in a lifetime

63

w

han love”

“Loya

lty

is

al

ay

r g s

rt e t ea

TYWON 64

TYWON

One thing that is normalized inside of Chicago is pill popping. Pill popping shouldn't be normalized at all. Popping a drug for your fulfillment, it's killing

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

people. When you get off pills anything could happen, like killing. People acting out their body because the drugs is eating their bodies. On May 11th 2024 I lost a brother to popping a fake pill. I was so devastated by what happened because I really grew up with this man, so hearing that he passed off a pill just makes me hate them so much more.

Something that should be normalized is A LOT more community involvement. If every community had something to do, the community could prevent so much more. I know many communities that have organizations in it and it completely changed the whole community all because of the simple fact that people care, provide, and want to change their community around for a good cause.

65

SINCE YOU ASKED

Tywon since you asked, I’ll tell you why I'm dedicated.

TYWON

Because I want to be myself .

Because I want to prove people wrong.

Because I want to make my people proud.

Because I want to provide for my family. Because I want to give my loved ones something positive to look at.

Because proving people wrong gives me confidence to do anything.

Because dedication means to go and get what you want with heart.

I am from the westside and trenches.

I am from the corner store that sells foods and snacks to From the nature of grass, trees, and flowers.

I AM FROM

I am from Debra and Tyrice.

From going out to play ding dong ditch and basketball, to coming into the smell of seasoning and cleaning supplies.

I am from the sounds of yelling and arguing.

From the music of actives.

R&B, rap, and hip-hop.

I am from seeing my loved one obituaries to seeing family pictures.

I’m from ’’Don’t go in my room’’ and “Knock on my door” ’m from the injuries and pain that's leading to success.

I am from Chicago.

66

re

true.”

“I be

liev

ed

am

a c s

ome c n

SHANIYA 67

SHANIYA

Since you asked, I’ll tell you why I hate weird people

SINCE YOU ASKED

Because I dislike the way they make me feel.

Because if we were “friends,” why are you making things weird?

Because I hate secret animosity Because I hate when someone tries to be funny Because I don’t like when people make me feel left out of something Because your vibe is off and you know it Because I hate weird things especially aimed towards me Because your energy feels fake Because you switch up too fast Because you act like I did something wrong Because you ruin the vibe every time Because you make drama out of nothing Because I’d rather be alone than deal with that.

68

SHANIYA

Something that is normalized that's not normal is grown men talking to younger females when they can obviously see that the girl is underage or

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

not close to their age. It’s assumed that girls are fast or dressing too inappropriate when really they will try to get you no matter how you look or dress, even if you tell them you're underage. What should be normalized is males learning how to talk to people in their own age range and stop making people uncomfortable.

Do you know how it feels to be a young female or female in general in Chicago? Do you know how it feels to be bothered every time you walk outside by men who always feel the need to try to talk to you? Women shouldn’t have to change how we dress or act, we should be able to feel safe and comfortable going anywhere. Everyone deserves to feel safe, no matter where they go.

69

SHANIYA

I am from Chicago From beauty supply stores and Walmart.

I am from pizza and nachos

I AM FROM

I am from hot chips with cheese, and freeze cups from the lady from the street.

I am from butterflies, scraping my knee, and bedtime stories.

I am from my mom and dad, a family of 5 siblings.

I am from taking photos, barbecuing, family gatherings, and loud music.

I am from playing tag, Johnny come across, and freeze tag, I am from braids so tight they shine, and edges laid just right I am from hoodies in summer and shorts in fall I am from group chats with emojis and tea I am from popsicles on the porch with my cousins I am from chasing ice cream trucks down the block

70

h

h

t tree.”

“Do

n’t

re

ac

f

t r o

ui r f e

MARCUS 71

MARCUS Dulce, since you asked, here’s why I’m so patient: Because love doesn’t happen overnight.

You deserve something real, not something rushed.

The best things take time to grow, just like trees, just like trust.

SINCE YOU ASKED

I’ve learned that silence can say more than shouting ever could.

And when you’re hurting, I want to be the one who helps you feel safe.

Storms come and go, but kindness lasts.

Someone waited for me once, so now I’m choosing to wait for you.

Your smile makes it all worth it.

I’d rather really listen to you than win some argument.

You matter more to me than being right.

We’re creating something real here.

Patience, to me, is just love shown over time.

I see so much in your eyes, our future, our peace.

I want to grow old with you and look back without regrets.

Because every second I’m with you is a choice I’m proud to make.

And I’ll keep choosing you, again and again.

72

MARCUS I’m from alarm clocks that never cared if I was tired, just rang loud enough to remind me life keeps moving.

From early mornings and long bus rides, where the CTA became my thinking space.

I’m from ketchup on mac and cheese, because when you're one of twelve, you eat what you get and make it yours.

I’m from the smell of rain on the pavement,

I AM FROM

wet grass stuck to my shoes after running around with no real destination.

I’m from downtown Saturdays, under the Bean with friends, acting like tourists in our own city.

From the Crown Fountain splash and music drifting from street performers near the Red Line.

I’m from walking past the Art Institute, not always going in, but knowing something powerful sat behind those doors.

From Garrett Popcorn smells that always made me wish I had more money.

From busy sidewalks and people who walk like they’ve got somewhere to be.

I learned to walk like that, too.

I’m from carrying groceries up three flights with my mom, no complaints, just part of the routine.

From making noise with eleven others in one house, a mix of chaos and comfort.

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I AM FROM (CONT.)

MARCUS I’m from saving moments on my DSi and 3DS, back when those blurry pictures felt like art.

From split weekends, my dad waiting in the car outside, me hoping he stayed a little longer this time.

I’m from a little boy who had to grow up early, but still found ways to laugh, to dream, to hope.

Dear Death, I never thought I’d write something like this, but lately, I’ve had so much on my mind that I

DEAR WRITING

need to let it out.

I’ve been afraid of you for a long time. Just the thought of getting older and knowing there’s nothing I can do to stop time makes me feel scared. Every birthday, every minute that passes reminds me that I can’t get that time back, and that one day, I’ll have to face you. I was so afraid that you even started showing up in my dreams.

I remember dreaming that my grandmother passed away. I saw it happen right in front of me. A few nights later, I dreamed the same about my dad. The fear and sadness were too much. I had my first panic attack, and I didn’t even know what was happening. It felt like I was trapped in a moment I couldn’t escape.

Sometimes I think about what it’s like to be buried forever. Even though people say you won’t feel anything after you die, the idea of being stuck in a box underground gives me chills. It’s hard not to think about.

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DEAR WRITING (CONT.)

MARCUS

I hope that when my time comes, I’ll be proud of how I lived. I hope the things I do and say will still matter, even after I’m gone. I want to leave something good behind.

So until then, I’m going to live my life the best I can.

Sincerely, Someone learning to live without fear.

75

be

“Don’

t ju

dg

e

r o f

o y e

ow them. ” n k u

AMYA 76

AMYA I am from Uncle Remus.

I am from Urban Air. I am from singing.

I am from McDonald’s.

I am from rap.

I am from block parties.

I am from clothes.

I AM FROM

I am from Thanksgiving.

I am from fireworks.

I am from shoes.

I am from skating.

I am from North Riverside.

I am from locking the doors behind me.

I am from, “don’t talk to strangers.”

I am from, “say no to drugs.”

I am from barbecues.

I am from Jordans.

I am from nachos I am from, “don’t touch anything unless you’re going to buy it.”

I am from snow balls.

I am from making pallets to sleep on.

I am from making a to-go plate.

I am from when I go to Old Country Buffet

77

SINCE YOU ASKED

Since you asked I will tell you why I’m antisocial

AMYA

Because most people are fake.

Because people are weird.

Because I don’t like most people.

Because I like being alone.

Because I prefer it that way.

Because most people are not your real friends.

Because people always show their cards before they are played.

Because the truth always comes to the light.

Something that is normalized is that younger kids at ages 7 are smoking

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

and I feel like the ages that these kids are smoking just keeps getting younger and younger for each generation, as well as things like going to strangers houses, cheating, underaged drinking, killing/murder, and having 10 different baby mammas.

I also think that kids that are in high school shouldn’t normalize going to parties that include people with guns and pill popping and smoking and drinking, etc. I also feel like cheating is way too normalized. I feel like kids think it’s cool to cheat or feel the need to have more than one girlfriend or boyfriend.

78

AMYA Ways I feel like I need to be loved are people being there for me when I need them, for example. It was on a Friday and I was going on Christmas break and school had just ended and my dad wasn’t outside to pick me up. So I tried calling him to see where he was, but he didn’t answer the phone so I called my mom to see where she was, but she didn’t answer so then I called my brother and then I called my cousin, but none of them answered the phone. Then I called my aunt and she got me an Uber home.

NIKKI-ROSA

Somewhere that I feel peace is my bedroom because I can watch TV or I can play on the game and play with my family or friends, and I can go to sleep, talk on the phone.

Someone that I’m most comfortable around are my family members. I would say my favorite 3 people are: my older cousin who is grown, my 2nd favorite is my cousin that is in the same grade as me, and last I would say is my auntie.

Something that I feel like I had to overcome was my fear of heights. It was my first time ever going to Six Flags with my family, I wanted to get on the “drop” for the first time, but I was thinking that if I got on it that I might fall off of it, till my grandma asked me and my brother were we going to get on it, then I said no, my brother said yea, then my grandma asked why I didn’t want to get on, I said because I just don’t want to, then my brother yelled out, ”because she scary,” then I said, “No I’m not,” then he said, “get on the ride then,” I said, “ok.”

That’s when I got over my fear and finally got on the drop for the very first time.

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am

a

face.”

“You

rd

re

s

i e r

our y n

TRAVANT 80

TRAVANT

I’m from the west side and the north side From granny’s crib From where the P’s be at From nachos, snowballs, chicken and sub sandwiches

I AM FROM

I’m from my mama, granny, uncles, aunties, and cousins I’m from money, clothes, cars, and police I’m from, “Boy, what you want?” “Take that garbage out!” and “Don’t touch nothing!”

I’m from ding dong ditch and riding bikes.

From going to the pool with my peoples.

From baby pictures, family pictures, and obituaries.

From za, candles, and food.

I’m from police and ambulance sirens, gunshots, p’s humming and silence in the crib.

From pot roast sandwiches with chips on it, cereal, and nachos.

I’m from, “Stop running in and out my house!” and family reunions.

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TRAVANT

SINCE YOU ASKED

Bang, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I'm so mad…

Because I will never get the chance to see you again.

Because I’ll never see you spending time with your kids again.

Because we’ll never party again.

Because you can never tell me my wrongs from right again.

Because all I have now are memories.

Because you can never chase money again.

Because thinking about my life, I probably would’ve died.

Because I remember our last conversation.

Because I’m mad that you didn't get the chance to complete your goals.

Because R.I.P Bang.

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DEAR WRITING

TRAVANT Dear Son, I want you to know everything I do is for you ever since I found out your momma was pregnant. I was filled with joy. This is a new chapter for us. I am grateful to be blessed with a son. I promise to you the world and to protect you from everything that can be negative your way. My life hasn’t been best these last few months, but I’m pushing to make my life better for you. I can be the best father I can be then in September, son, pops loves you.

NORMAL NOT NORMAL

I feel some things that are normalized shouldn't be normal such as: People shooting women, children, and innocent people.

Backdoorin’ people is crazy! Ain' t nothing cool about hittin’ somebody from the blindside.

The youth being influenced by what older people and social media present to them. What’s not being normalized is the youth being better than them.

Letting your potential go unnoticed.

Not speaking up for yourself because you're scared of how somebody will react.

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be

list.”

“Be

nu

m

r

o

o e n

our y n

SEAN 84

SEAN

I am from the jungle, where cigarette buds rest on concrete paths and the

I AM FROM

soles of soldiers hang from the trees above.

I am from "Get it how you live" and "Stay dangerous" where at 8AM, you see the tamale lady getting her paper and by 8PM on that same corner, you see white sheets and caution tape.

I'm from "Get home safe" from "Keep your head up at night" because the people you went to school with grown into hatred and spite.

Im from Italian beef and fries, root beers and sprite. Sit down on the couch and watch some shameless for the night.

85

SEAN Sean since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m frustrated with you.

It’s because you’re in your head so much you’re living outside of your life.

It’s because you work so hard and when I tell you to stop you ignore me.

SINCE YOU ASKED

It’s because you still call me lazy when you see I’m trying It’s because you want me to be great and you won’t shut up about it it’s because when I don’t wanna smile, you tell me to fix my face.

It’s because you’re tough love is so tough. It doesn’t even feel like love anymore.

It’s because when I do feel the love, it’s two-faced it’s because I’m a Gemini and you’re my twin it’s because I looked in the mirror for too long and now I feel uncomfortable.

It’s because that potential you have is infinite and I wanted to go the wrong way.

It’s because I made a path for us and all you wanna do is complain about how your feet hurt It’s because I’d rather get to the end with broken feet than nowhere at all.

I’m frustrated with what you are currently because I know you can be so much more.

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SEAN

A letter to The Gateway I have so many feelings towards you: love, disgust, safety, rage. I had my first concert atop your crown. But before Maquel knew you, Sean did. I

DEAR WRITING

came to you when I felt I couldn’t go home, but l also came to you to build a new home. I tattoo’d my name across your walls and treated you like a temple, so I get kinda mad when other people come and walk over you.

But you don’t belong to me. They probably knew you before I did, but they don’t know what we’ve built together. You were always there, but I never saw you. I’m talking to you like a person because you are more than a place to me.

You hold memories like a person would. You hold me close like my mother would. But you also can’t let me get too comfortable, like my father would.

It’s hard trying to explain how I feel about you, like it’s hard explaining how home feels. There’s an overbearing feeling of happiness, but still an uneasiness that comes with the years of memories. I have so many feelings towards you. But if I could only express one, it would be my gratitude.

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Dear Author & Young Leader, YOU ARE MY WHY! YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I WOULD BE YOU MADE ME I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE STRONGER THAN ANYTHING THAT TRIED TO TEAR YOU DOWN FOR EVERY NO THERE IS A YES I WANT YOU TAKE EVERYTHING WE’VE TAUGHT YOU THIS SUMMER AND

CLOSING

APPLY IT TO LIFE I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE CHANGE THE WORLD NEEDS KNOW THAT YOUR VOICE MATTERS AND YOUR STORIES ARE UNIQUE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT, KNOW THAT I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE TO GIVE YOU MORE I ASK THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU GROW INTO THE PERSON YOU NEEDED WHEN YOU WERE HURT ALLOW YOUR STORY AND CHALLENGES YOU FACE AND FACED BE THE STAIRS YOU CLIMB REMEMBER...

“WE CARRY THE WEIGHT OF OUR STORY NOT AS A BURDEN BUT AS THE FIRE THAT FUELS OUR PURPOSE” SINCERELY, YOUR MENTOR FOR LIFE, DAVID ABDULLAH

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CLOSING

Dear Summer Interns, Since you asked...

Because: Wi likkle, but wi talawah. (we are small, but we are mighty.)

We are interns too, just at a different level.

(Interns climbing, levels shifting, dreams rising) Experiences...

Can be either a LESSON or LAUGHTER or BOTH. Social conditioning? Whose voice is that?

IT IS NOT WHO YOU’RE MEANT TO BE! So, Give yourself GRACE. Give yourself permission to enjoy or to curate safe joy spaces.

Remember this...

You are always your own checkbox.

Your actions today help determine tomorrow.

What will your tomorrow look like?

Finally Your location does not hold the keys to your future.

With respect. With love. With solidarity.

From interns who’ve walked ahead, but still walk alongside you.

Lashauna Lumsden, Peer Counselor

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To learn more about our work and read memoirs and other compilations written by our Authors, visit: www.contextos.org Find us on social media: @ContextosChi

Book design by Killian Harris

Cover images by Kalief Dinkins 2025