Child Magazine | Cape Town September 2012

C a p e

To w n ’ s

b e s t

g u i d e

f o r

pa r e n t s

playing favourites are you the flavour of the month?

spring

the truth about teeth

into action

16 things you

didn’t know

golf – keep your child on par co-ed vs single-sex schools when to ditch the dummy

www.childmag.co.za

September 2012

free

health

30

education

ways to celebrate your heritage

entertainment

Growing up in Pretoria, I looked forward to the arrival of spring with huge excitement.

Winters were cold and dry, and yet, come the 1st of September, blossoms would magically appear on the peach trees in our back garden and, more importantly to me, our local swimming pool would be declared officially open. My brother and I would beg to be taken to Hillcrest Swimming Pool where we would queue, patiently waiting for that thrilling moment when the gates would open and we would be allowed to walk through the foot sanitizer to finally dive into the cold, clear blue water. After a couple of lengths we would lie down on the hot cement to warm up, smiling at each other as we relished the feeling that summer had officially begun.

Fast forward a generation and I see that same smile on my daughter’s face as she rollerblades through our local park. After a wild and wet winter, spring is in the air and it’s wonderful to see so many families coming out to play. I love that our park can be reached by taxi, train or luxury 4x4 and I love that, unlike Hillcrest Swimming Pool back when I was 10, my daughter gets to play in a park that welcomes and celebrates children from all corners of our diverse city.

There is something about our park that makes me feel so proud to be South African.

It makes me stand a little taller and smile a little wider so, come the 24th, I know exactly where my family will be celebrating our heritage.

Wishing you a happy Heritage Day too.

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Hunter House PUB L IS H ING

Publisher Lisa Mc Namara • lisa@childmag.co.za

Editorial Managing Editor

monthly circulation Joburg’s Child magazineTM Cape Town’s Child magazineTM Durban’s Child magazineTM Pretoria’s Child magazineTM

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Marina Zietsman • marina@childmag.co.za Features Editor Anél Lewis • features@childmag.co.za Resource Editor

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Free requested Apr 12 – Jun 12

Cape Town’s Child magazineTM is published monthly by Hunter House Publishing, PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

Office address: Unit 7, Canterbury Studios, 35 Wesley Street, Gardens, Cape Town. Tel: 021 465 6093, fax: 021 462 2680, email: info@childmag.co.za. Annual subscriptions (for 11 issues) cost R165, including VAT and postage inside SA. Printed by Paarl Web. Copyright subsists in all work published in Cape Town’s Child magazineTM. We welcome submissions but retain the unrestricted right to change any received copy. We are under no obligation to return unsolicited copy.

The magazine, or part thereof, may not be reproduced or adapted without the prior written permission of the publisher.

We take care to ensure our articles, and other editorial content, are accurate and balanced, but cannot accept responsibility for loss, damage or inconvenience that may arise from reading them.

September 2012

3

contents

september 2012

20

upfront

health

3

10 tooth wise

a note from lisa

6 over to you readers respond

regulars

features 16 the truth about favourites

Lucille Kemp reveals a few things you might not have known about teeth

aniella Renzon looks at why children D sometimes latch on to one parent more than the other

8 wins 12 best for baby – dummy dilemma

Anél Lewis looks at the pros and cons

of giving your child a dummy

20 the next big easy

14 dealing with difference

find out if your child is a visual,

auditory or kinaesthetic learner.

By Marina Zietsman

olf teaches your child life g lessons, not just ball skills, says Marina Zietsman

22 co-ed or same-sex?

19 upfront with paul

it is not an easy choice; Glynis Horning looks at what might work for your child

too many parents allow their children to act like louts, says Paul Kerton 28 resource – celebrate your roots

26 no place like home Lucille Kemp finds out why so many South Africans return after living abroad

L ucille Kemp has compiled a list of 30 reasons why you should be proudly South African

34 a good read

new books for the whole family

36 what’s on in september 50 finishing touch

22

Anél Lewis has developed the utmost respect for marathon runners

classified ads 42 family marketplace 47 let’s party

this month’s cover images are supplied by:

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September 2012

Joburg

Cape Town

Durban

Pretoria

Accessorize www.accessorize.co.za

shutterstock.com

shutterstock.com

Rochelle Haisley www.rochellehaisley.com

magazine cape town

magazine cape town

September 2012

5

letters

responses to “mean gene” article on ADHD (August 2012) ADHD and the gene One of the most frustrating aspects of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder for parents is the apparent subjectiveness of the diagnosis. Even though the criteria are fairly well documented in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition (DSM-IV), and updated and refined in the soon to be published DSM-V, the possibility of a single “test” that would confirm the diagnosis would be great to alleviate anxiety about the diagnosis of the condition and the resultant therapy, management and risks.

The popular myth though is that ADHD is a single condition. This is certainly not the case. Symptoms and signs compatible with a diagnosis could be associated with or caused by a whole range of conditions, including brain injury, prematurity, maternal smoking in pregnancy, maternal deprivation – the list expands daily. It is a single phenotype for a whole range of causes, and it’s therefore most unlikely that a single test – blood test or otherwise – would be effective in diagnosing all persons with ADHD. Results from studies about families, adoption and particularly twins have made a strong case for the link of ADHD to a genetic cause. In fact, a genetic influence is thought to be part of the cause in up to 80 percent of persons diagnosed with ADHD. However, no single gene has been found to be consistently linked to ADHD. There is usually great excitement when such a link is shown to be significant, but later followup studies fail to find the same associations, probably because different groups of individuals with ADHD are studied.

Finding such a gene marker may have its down side: if one is found to have the gene it can be deduced that one has the diagnosis, but if the gene is not found

over to you popular choice Your magazine holds the record for most popular publication at our information centre. You should see the disappointed faces when we run out of an issue, usually within a week. The comments people enthusiastically make about the magazine are all good.

I even have people coming to the mall especially to pick up a copy of Child magazine. A regular fan just came to collect a copy and I asked her why she liked it.

She replied with, “Because it’s good”. As they say, “You must be doing something right.”

Charles van Rensburg, Mall of Rosebank

magazine on the web Where I live, the moms fight over Child magazine, while the dads have given up on getting their own copies.

But now they have proudly announced that they have access to the magazine on the internet. It is such a help for new parents and older parents, as well as for divorced dads who need to know how to feed, bath and put a child to sleep, and what to do with them when they’re awake.

Karin Meyer

would that imply that one does not have the diagnosis and will not be able to receive appropriate medical and other intervention? This raises several ethical dilemmas. It is never as simple as it may appear to be at first glance.

Although genetic studies offer great promise and there have been significant advances in technology, the translation of genetics research into clinical practice remains a challenge. We should not delay making diagnoses and applying the best interventions because we are waiting for further scientific discoveries. It would be grossly unfair to the population who has to deal with ADHD, and its challenges, on a daily basis.

Professor André Venter, Head of the Department of Paediatrics and Child Health at the University of the Free State concern about article heading I’m a regular reader of Child magazine and find many of the articles informative and useful. However, I am concerned about a heading for the article on ADD/ADHD entitled “mean gene”. I think the word “mean” is inappropriate and potentially offensive. At best, it’s ambiguous; at worst, it’s harmful. For those not in the know, it suggests ADD/ ADHD children are “mean”, which is not a trait of the condition.

Megan Shorey Childmag says Thank you for taking the time to share your sensitivity to our headline. It certainly wasn’t our intention to imply that ADHD children are mean, but rather that certain genes may be problematic because of their possible links to the condition.

Let us know what’s on your mind. Send your letters or comments to marina@childmag.co.za or PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010.

important to me and I would love to know how I can work and achieve this.

Naomi Fisher

consider all your options In response to Samantha Wilson’s letter “be prepared parents” (August 2012); I did a CPR course when my son was a baby. When he was 13 months old, he choked on a piece of cereal. I followed what I had been taught on the course and gave him the three prescribed hard thumb presses on his back, while he was upside down against my legs.

I repeated this, but with no success. My son stopped breathing, his eyes rolled back, he went limp and turned blue. I had been instructed that the Heimlich manoeuvre should never be performed on a child younger than 10. Fortunately, my friend took over and performed the Heimlich manoeuvre and, after two attempts, the piece of cereal came out. This saved my boy’s life. Parents shouldn’t just accept everything they are told. Ask questions and find out what all the options are.

Debby

don’t label children work from home I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for almost eight years now. My youngest started preschool this year and I feel I now have some time to do something for myself while still being there for my family. Where can I find a job where I can work from home? I have data capturing and general typing skills. Being a full-time parent is very

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September 2012

In response to a letter from Sandra (August 2012); my son is four years old. He is a natural leader and is built like a little tank. I know that he can get aggressive when he feels “hard done by”. However, I have never seen him hit or push another child without being provoked.

He was bullied at his previous school, but learnt to fight back and stand up for himself.

On his first day at his current school, I was called in because he had hit two older children. It turned out that he had acted in self-defence, but he was the only one of the three to be punished.

Our son’s teacher said it is because “everybody in the school knows his name, so when something happens, he is blamed”. So my son has been labelled a bully by the parents at the school, just because all the children know his name? It is so unfair. He is a small boy trying to find his way in the world and already people are labelling him.

I agree that children should not bully others, but what parents teach with words and actions, sometimes can’t be undone. If the bullying starts with the parents, it sends the wrong message. Parents labelling children is a form of bullying that children pick up and act on.

Anonymous

left is right I read the letter in the August 2012 issue, where Anonymous mentions that she thinks left-handed children need more time for tasks. I don’t believe this should be the case at all.

I have a left-handed son, aged eight, and I find that he copes just fine. I have never made it an issue that he is left-handed and don’t believe parents should. You can buy left-handed aids to make life easier, if needed. I suggest that maybe her child has weak muscles, which causes her hands to ache when she writes.

Ursula

We reserve the right to edit and shorten submitted letters. The opinions reflected here are those of our readers and are not necessarily held by Hunter House Publishing.

Post a comment online at childmag.co.za

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magazine cape town

September 2012

7

wins

giveaways in september Eastern Cape big five getaway Shamwari Game Reserve, near Port Elizabeth, is a malaria-free reserve and home to the Big Five. There are six unique Lodges, an Animal Rehabilitation and Born Free Centre. Family-friendly facilities and a Kids on Safari programme are available. Contact: 041 509 3000, reservations@shamwarigroup.com or visit shamwari.com One reader stands a chance to win a two-night stay for two people sharing at Shamwari Game Reserve, valued at R18 000. The prize is valid from 1 October 2012 to 31 March 2013, excluding long weekends, public and school holidays, and 15 December 2012 to 15 January 2013. Bookings are subject to availability. The prize includes five-star accommodation, game drives and meals, and excludes transport to and from the lodge and alcoholic beverages. Simply enter via childmag. co.za/wins-ct and use the code “Shamwari CT”. Your details will be made available to The Shamwari Group.

gear up Ryan Maron’s Cricket School of Excellence (RMCSE) helps children improve their cricketing abilities while enjoying the game. Choose from a variety of coaching options including private and group coaching, holiday clinics and cricket parties. Contact: 021 671 9460, ryan@ cricketschool.co.za or visit cricketschool.co.za One reader stands a chance to win a RMCSE four-day clinic, a Powerade hamper, a Trion: Z band and Glider Eyewear, all valued at R2 000.

Simply enter via childmag.co.za/wins-ct and use the code “RMCSE CT”. Your details will be made available to RMCSE.

veggie bites Fry’s Vegetarian has a range of meat-free alternatives that are tasty, easy to prepare and contain no egg and dairy.

Their products, which are cholesterol-free, have no added MSG or preservatives. So whether you’re a vegetarian, a healthy eater or a supporter of Meat Free Mondays, you will enjoy Fry’s products. For more info, visit frysvegetarian.co.za One reader stands a chance to win six months’ worth of vouchers for Fry’s Vegetarian products, valued at R2 000.

Simply enter via childmag.co.za/ wins-ct and use the code “Fry’s CT”. Your details will be made available to Fry’s Vegetarian.

to enter simply visit childmag.co.za

or post your entry to PO Box 12002, Mill Street, 8010. Entries close 30 September 2012. Only one entry per reader.

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September 2012

spin power Spindel is a specialist laundry spin dryer that removes up to 80 percent of moisture from fabrics in just three minutes, so you can air dry laundry in a fraction of the time. It uses 100 times less electricity than a tumble dryer and is safe for all fabrics.

Contact: 0860 555 135 or visit spindel.co.za Two readers stand a chance to each win a Spindel Laundry Dryer, valued at R1 599. Simply enter via childmag.co.za/winsct and use the code “Spindel CT”. Your details will be made available to Spindel.

congratulations to our July winners Martjie Malan, Lindsay Visser, Felicity Lotter, Fathima Mohamed, Karen James, Marisa van Wyk and Liza Ernstzen who each win a pair of Crocband Jaunt Kids rain boots; Theresa van Niekerk who wins a voucher for Voilà toys from The Plastics Warehouse and Lavinia Van Schalkwyk who wins a two-night stay for two from Sanbona Wildlife Reserve.

magazine cape town

magazine cape town

September 2012

9

health

tooth wise LUCILLE KEMP speaks to the experts about dental hygiene and discovers some interesting facts about teeth that you may not have known.

y

Suck it up Many children love sports and fizzy drinks and flavoured milk, which contain huge amounts of sugar. Use straws when drinking these, as this directs the sugary drink away from the teeth.

ou know that your family should visit the dentist twice a year, but what else should you be doing to keep your family’s pearly whites healthy and cavity-free? Dr Janet Gritzman, president of the Paedodontic Society of South Africa and paediatric dentist, Dr Geoff Melman, shed some light on good oral hygiene practices.

Snack attack Instead of allowing children to snack on chocolate, have them nibble on a slice of cheese. Dairy, such as cheese and milk, are alkalinebased and counteract the acids that eat away at your teeth.

Twice a day keeps the dentist away Brushing your teeth, after you’ve flossed, should happen twice a day – after breakfast and just before your child goes to sleep, making sure that they don’t eat or drink anything before they climb into bed.

Safe from stinky breath Get your child into the habit of brushing their tongue, and make sure they get right to the back. Unfortunately, this is close to the gag reflex so take care and scrape gently so as not to damage the tongue.

Whether you buy them a tongue scraper or they use their toothbrush, the job is done if the tongue is a healthy pink.

How, not how long Brushing properly is more important than brushing for a certain length of time.

Brush all the surfaces of all your child’s teeth – top, front and behind. Gritzman points out that to avoid overbrushing, you should brush your child’s teeth for no longer than two minutes.

An added buffer Gritzman is a strong believer in tooth mousse, which is a toothpaste made from dairy products. A small amount should be rubbed onto the teeth with the finger, just before bedtime. It replenishes the minerals of the tooth structure and significantly reduces tooth decay.

Wash your mouth out Mouth wash with fluoride should preferably be used after breakfast and lunch, and before going to bed at night; half a cap full, swished around the mouth for 20 seconds. After this, do not eat, drink or rinse for at least 30 minutes. The teeth of children under six years old can be wiped with a piece of gauze dipped in fluoride mouth wash.

Start at birth Before your baby gets her first teeth, clean the inside of her mouth with a piece of wet gauze when it is bath time, to help keep the gums clean.

Apron strings, please Toddlers and young children don’t have the manual dexterity required to brush properly, so you need to brush for them until they are at least six years old. If your child is more independent than most, then be sure to supervise for as long as possible.

Little people love to be big people Along with bedtime, most children loathe that thing that comes before it: brushing their teeth. So make it something to look forward to by brushing your teeth together or letting them sit with you while you clean your own teeth. Also, make it fun by putting up a special star chart on the bathroom wall as an incentive.

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September 2012

Be gone bacteria When children take antibiotics or other medicine, which is usually in the form of inviting, sugary syrup, make sure that they rinse out their mouths with water afterwards.

A first The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends that children have their first dentist visit by their first birthday. Regular checkups from a young age can prevent paranoia of the dentist and help make visiting the dentist a lifelong habit.

Sweet relief For parents of sugar-hungry children, there is good news: Xylitol can be used as a sugar replacement as it has shown to significantly reverse early signs of tooth decay. Sticky, chewy and sucking foods are bad for the teeth, says Melman, as they spend a long time in the mouth where they are processed by bacteria. Xylitol has anti-bacterial properties as it is not processed by these bacteria, which are responsible for tooth decay. So, buy sweets and chewing gum with Xylitol, as well as Xylitol toothpastes and gels.

Lay a solid foundation Primary or milk teeth play a vital role in the growth and development of your child.

They are needed for speech and to bite food, they prevent tongue thrust or the reverse swallow, and even play a major psychological role in your child’s self esteem, says Melman.

The primary molars, needed for chewing food, act as a space maintainer to allow the permanent premolars to settle into the correct position. So, it is vitally important to brush and floss your child’s milk teeth twice a day to pave the way for their permanent teeth.

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32

the number of

the number of

milk teeth your

teeth an adult

child will have

should have

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PHOTOGRAPH: shutterSTOCK.COM

Sleep sweet Gritzman can’t stress enough how important it is that babies are not put to bed or left with a bottle of juice, or even milk, as this can cause baby bottle decay, also known as nursing caries. Plain water is the safest drink for your baby between feeds.

Brace yourself for the future The American Association of Orthodontists recommends that the initial orthodontic evaluation should occur at the first sign of any problems, or by no later than the age of seven.

Gritzman says that at this early age, orthodontic treatment may not be necessary, but vigilant examination can anticipate the most ideal time to begin treatment.

magazine cape town

September 2012

11

best for baby

dummy dilemma The battle of the dummy is one that rages in many households, as parents have mixed views about their value. ANÉL LEWIS looks at the pros and cons.

UK psychologist and child development expert Penelope Leach says in her parenting book, Your Baby & Child (Dorling Kindersley), that you should not assume your baby needs a dummy.

But if your baby is unsettled and you find that a dummy does help, give it for just a few months and preferably only at bedtime. The dummy will also encourage your baby to self-soothe and is a convenient distraction if they are niggly. Various studies, including one by the American Academy of Pediatrics, suggest that sucking on a dummy may reduce the risk of cot death, or Sudden Infant Death syndrome, although this evidence is not conclusive. Many mothers view dummies as a more palatable alternative to thumb-sucking.

Dummies may be given to a premature baby to help develop a weak sucking reflex.

...and against

Linda Thompson, a Cape Town-based speech and language therapist, cautions that prolonged use of a dummy could hamper speech development. One of her patients, four-year-old Julia, struggled with imprecise speech. “Julia arrived with her mother, and the first thing I noticed was a huge dummy in her mouth. She tried to talk to me through the rubber of the dummy and I couldn’t understand what she was saying.” Thompson says prolonged sucking of dummies or digits, such as the thumb, for six hours or more a day, has been associated with the development of an anterior bite. This means that when your child bites down on her back teeth, there is a gap between the upper and lower front teeth. When the soft, malleable cells in a child’s top jaw are replaced with hard bone cells, from about the age of four, the top arch will conform to the shape of the object being sucked. An orthodontist can operate to close the gap when the child is older, but this procedure is invasive and costly, says Thompson. Prevention is better than cure.

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September 2012

dummy do’s and don’ts

It may prove difficult to wean your child off the dummy.

Children should ideally not be using them after the age of one and definitely not after the age of four, when it could affect their speech and chewing, says Pretoriabased dentist, Dr Emil Jansen. Lactation experts advise that dummy-sucking may interfere with breast-feeding, and therefore encourage mothers to introduce them only once latching has been successfully established. Barbara Chambers, a Cape Town midwife, says one of the reasons dummies are not recommended is that they “dumb down” communication between the baby and their mother. With a dummy in the mouth, the baby cannot indicate that he is hungry. There are also possible links between dummy use and ear infections as well as snoring and sleep apnoea.

Make sure the base of the dummy has holes to prevent a rash from forming. Also, buy a dummy that is the right size for your baby’s face. Opt for dummies without bisphenol A (BPA), an organic compound linked to increased cancer risks. Thompson says there is no evidence that orthodontic dummies are more effective in preventing anterior open bites than conventional dummies. Jansen agrees, saying it is the intensity of the sucking, and not the type of dummy, that affects your child’s teeth. Make sure they are clean and sterilised. Avoid “rinsing” the dummy by putting it in your mouth, as you could pass on germs. Replace dummies that are torn or cracked. They should never be dipped in juice or sweet food, as this could damage your child’s teeth.

Children should ideally not be using them after the age of one and definitely not after the age of four, when it could affect their speech and chewing.

mothers’ dummy-ditching tips Candice Whitehead of Joburg weaned her son off his dummies by cutting down his supply to only three.

Eventually there was no dummy left to suck on.

Cape Town mother Susie Harris-Leblond decided to chuck the dummy before her son turned two. “We simply said that dummies were for babies and that he couldn’t have them any more. We kept it simple and worked on the theory that it takes three days to break a habit. He cried for a bit and then just accepted it.”

or not...

Anya Black of Cape Town was advised to tie the dummy to her child’s teddy bear, so that she would eventually find comfort in the bear, and ditch the dummy. Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked yet, and Lilli is still sucking on her dummy.

magazine cape town

illustration: shutterstock.com

for...

important to know

magazine cape town

September 2012

13

dealing with difference

knowing how to learn MARINA ZIETSMAN looks at the differences between the visual, auditory and

t

he Visual-Auditory-Kinaesthetic (VAK) learning styles model provides a simple way to explain and understand the way your child processes information.

While there is much criticism of this theory, the model is popular with many teachers and gives them a framework to identify the way in which their pupils learn. It allows them to make classes more varied and interesting by applying teaching techniques that will benefit the auditory, kinaesthetic and visual learner. It also gives the child a framework for how to approach certain tasks.

While one or two of these learning styles is normally dominant, children use all three modalities, in varying degrees, to process new information and experiences. Frank Coffield, a professor at London University’s Institute of Education, who reviewed 13 models of learning styles, said, “We do students a serious disservice by implying

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September 2012

they have only one learning style, rather than a flexible repertoire from which to choose, depending on the context.”

There are numerous questionnaires online, such as on vark-learn.com and brainboxx.co.uk, where you can take an easy test to determine which type of learner you are.

in the classroom Shannon Douglas-Henry, an occupational therapist from Johannesburg, with a special interest in study skills, explains how a mainstream class set-up can sometimes be a disadvantage.

Visual learner: “These learners are at home in the classroom, because it is full of visual stimuli such as posters and charts, but this learner will experience difficulty if information is only presented verbally and not in visual form.” Douglas-Henry adds that the visual

learner may forget something that is not written down.

Auditory learner: These learners are both advantaged and disadvantaged in the classroom. “The auditory learner does not relate well to visual information and does not see the point in completing worksheet after worksheet, writing out spelling words and copying notes from the board,” says Douglas-Henry. These children are easily labelled “talkative”, because they would rather discuss something or do activities like singing. “Such a learner hates comprehension and would rather, for example, after hearing a story, answer questions verbally than write about it, which they’ll find tedious, and do half-heartedly.”

Kinaesthetic learner: “The preschool environment is perfect for this learner, because children are encouraged to learn

through experience, with a lot of movement and tactile learning such as sand play and counting blocks.” But it’s when the kinaesthetic learner gets to primary school, where they enter the 2D world of pencil and paper activities, worksheets, readers, charts and textbooks that they start falling short.

“We tell children to sit still and listen, we read stories, explain the work and ask them questions, which are all auditory skills,” says Douglas-Henry. “Although some teachers do bring kinaesthetic learning into the classroom, it is still mainly visual and auditory.” Because of this, the happy kinaesthetic learner can become very discouraged, as the information given to him does not make sense.

lend a hand Visual learners: They learn best with visual stimuli such as notes, pictures, charts and

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ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

kinaesthetic learner in the classroom and offers handy study tips.

written information. It is important to provide visual stimuli with a verbal explanation, says Douglas-Henry. She offers these other study tips: highlight key words in different colours; make use of mind maps and flow charts to summarize notes; include multi-media when studying; use visual clues to remember keywords; use flashcards; test yourself in writing; organise the work logically and colour code different subjects and sections.

Auditory learners: It is vital to explain new information in the classroom. Provide opportunities for the learner to discuss or repeat information verbally and keep written information to a minimum. Also include music and movies wherever possible. Study tips for an auditory learner are: record key words and replay them; make use of rhymes, rap and songs to remember information; explain the work to someone else; include verbal brainstorming; use flashcards and say the words out loud; discuss important points with someone and let someone test the child verbally.

Kinaesthetic learners: Anna-Marie Markgraaff, a Cape Town-based psychometrist specialising in psychoeducational assessments of children with

magazine cape town

learning problems, says, “A child who gives preference to kinaesthetic or tactile learning may present as hyperactive, but would not necessarily have a learning problem.” Markgraaff suggests using such a child to assist with activities to help with their restlessness, such as cleaning the board, handing out books or taking messages. She adds: “For spelling, let the child write the words on the black board or build them on a mat, using cards. To aid with reading, ask the child to read to the class, if they are keen, or let them roleplay a story to aid with comprehension.”

With mathematics you can allow the child to use an abacus, if age-appropriate, to act out word sums. Douglas-Henry gives these study tips: do actions or hand symbols when learning new words; include examples – first show and then let the child do; make models out of clay to explain parts; use actual 3D objects where possible; use movement clues to remember key words; use flashcards; write notes on a large white board or poster to include movement; act out processes or events and have frequent stretch and study breaks.

which one is your child? the visual learner – to see is to understand • learns through seeing information presented in visual forms such as charts, graphs and pictures • is a reader and observer • enjoys visual stimulation • visualizes information in their minds (makes a “movie”) • pays close attention to the facial expressions and body language of others • is very aware of the aesthetics of their environment • is a good and independent learner • is a good organiser • prefers art to music • can switch off when having to listen to verbal instructions

auditory learner – to hear is to understand • is a good speaker and listener • works well in groups • appreciates music and singing • relates to verbal instructions • responds to lectures • is a good problem solver • has strong language skills the kinaesthetic learner – to do is to understand • is good at sport and physical activity • has good motor learning and memory skills • has high levels of energy, good handeye coordination and quick reactions • is good with hands-on tasks • memorises by movement or tactile (touch) information

September 2012

15

relationships

the truth about favourites It can be a secret fear that your child loves your partner more than you, but showing favouritism

w

hen it does come, it hits hard and fast. “Go away! I don’t want you! I want Daddy!” Your once compliant little angel has managed, in one foul swoop, to humiliate you in public (think judgmental aunties and friends at birthday parties) and made you feel utterly rejected. Right? Not if you understand what’s really going on.

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September 2012

Many parents will secretly be relieved to know that favouring one parent at certain stages of development is not only normal, but also a necessary part of psychological development.

When this happens, the trick is to contain your feelings of exclusion. “Don’t take it personally,” says educational psychologist Sheryl Cohen. “You’ll still develop a loving

relationship with your child. Remember love and favour are two different things.

Your child will always love and need you.

Sometimes children actually need to be able to push you away to know that you accept and love them no matter what. Each parent just fulfils different needs at different times.”

Initially, children form an attachment to their primary caregiver. Psychologist Sarah-Kate Engelbrecht explains that how you relate to your primary attachment figure sets the tone for how you relate to others later in life. A secure attachment means that Mom is there, available, and can meet the child’s needs, which gives the child confidence to be independent and explore their environment. During this time, she’s the preferred parent. This will

fluctuate when a child starts to look to Dad for identity formation, fun and exploration of the world. It also helps to buffer the intensity of the relationship with their mom and in gaining independence.

Part of same-sex identity formation begins with toilet training when children notice same-sex similarities. Later, favourites are swapped and you may find a boy sharing interests with their mother, while a girl will want the admiration of their dad.

it’s okay Tanya’s* children did exactly that. After forming a very close bond with their mom, Susy* found a way of connecting with Jeremy*, her father, by playing soccer together in the garden. She loved it so

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is not about love, says DANIELLA RENZON.

much she joined the school team. The enthralled dad signed up to coach her league team, which strengthened their bond. When Daniel was born, Susy drew much reassurance from her relationship with Jeremy. Soon Daniel couldn’t wait to be like his dad and play soccer too.

“Jeremy’s definitely the favourite and the boss,” says Tanya. “We joke about it. I don’t mind, I actually like it – I think it’s good for them – plus it gives me a break. They still come to me for emotional support.”

Cohen says their shared love of soccer is healthy because it came naturally and without pressure, while giving them common ground with their dad. Tanya’s secure sense of self has helped her children feel free to explore their own sense of self, in a guilt-free and supportive environment.

“When a mother isn’t secure in her own attachments she can project onto her child,” says Engelbrecht. “A child’s not there to affirm a parent. Asking that of your child can cause an unhealthy enmeshment and exacerbate separation anxiety.” If the primary attachment is an anxious one, the child will be clingy and too preoccupied with mom to explore her environment.

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Engelbrecht adds that wanting your child to like you can interfere with competent parenting. “Parents that are scared to play ‘bad cop’ become too permissive. While your child might favour you because you’re fun, they actually need boundaries, expectations, structures and discipline for healthy development.”

has to travel. Feelings of insecurity and possibly displacement, abandonment and anger can influence the child’s behaviour.

Divorce can also cause a “favouring” scenario. Cohen warns that favouring in a divorce situation can be a red herring and the important thing to ask is, “What’s the goal of my child’s behaviour?”

Don’t take it personally – you’ll still develop a loving relationship with your child. Remember love and favour are two different things.

She suggests that both parents share the fun and mundane sides of parenting. If a mom is at home in the week doing all the mundane stuff, dad should do bath and bedtime on the weekend and free mom up to do something fun with them.

Parental favouring becomes a problem when it really alienates one parent and causes dysfunction in the family dynamic; it can be very painful for the “ousted” parent.

Certain scenarios can exacerbate it – like when a sibling is born, if Mom suddenly goes back to a full-time job or if one parent

When Lukshana* got divorced her twins refused to stay at their father’s place. “Understand this behaviour before evaluating it,” says Cohen. “Divorced couples are quick to rubbish each other and this becomes their proof. First, get questions of bad behaviour from either parent out of the way; like, is dad’s behaviour upsetting the children? Are parents badmouthing each other ahead of listening to the children? Consider the possibility that the children aren’t actually commenting on dad at all. Maybe they’re expressing

difficulty at coping with all the changes happening in their world. Perhaps the familiarity and comfort of home helps them manage their own pain and stress from the change.” The twins’ rejection of their father stopped when he remarried and his bachelor pad turned into a home. Being older they had more things in common with him and wanted his involvement.

from the other side When a parent is ousted, the trick is to identify what the real issue is and not confuse it with actually being rejected.

Coming in as a step-parent can be tricky too. Like when Liz* met Matt*, his son Jake* was three. Liz says, “They were very close. Jake even slept in the bed with Matt. When I moved in, I quickly became the object of his anger. I tried hard to bond with, and parent Jake, but he constantly rejected me. The rejection was heightened during vulnerable moments like waking in the middle of the night. He’d kick me away, crying for his father, who was often away for work. Sometimes it was so bad I’d call the nanny to come and be with him. It was tough. Matt expected me to be this

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relationships

present and all-supportive mother to his child who didn’t love me.”

“I knew this was about Jake’s issues, but I was devastated so I spoke to teachers and therapists and read books. Matt began empathising with and supporting me more. I reassured Jake that I wasn’t taking Matt away from him, and that I wouldn’t leave. I even encouraged their closeness. I believed it was good for them: it gave Jake a sense of security and Matt more responsibility. Jake finally accepted me; the bonding just took longer, and we needed help.”

“Although Liz was hurt, she knew it wasn’t about her – just a little boy who was struggling,” says Cohen. “She also wasn’t ashamed to ask for help. Matt and Liz worked as a team, using their supportive network to manage a very difficult situation. Parents should do their best to work as a unified front and support each other during this period.”

Being the preferred parent can be a fickle experience based on a moment’s whim or on a particular stage or life event affecting the child – it seldom lasts a lifetime.

When it does happen, try to use it to gain insight into what your child is really trying to communicate through their behaviour. Ask yourself what the real issue is.

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i’m ousted, what should I do?

• F irstly, it’s not only your problem; it’s an issue for both parents to tackle together.

Speak to your partner about feeling alienated and hurt. Work it out together. If you can’t, seek professional help.

• If you’re the preferred parent, reinforce your alienated partner’s value and place as a parent. Be encouraging and supportive – it’s painful.

• Be a team – don’t allow fractions, “Mom and dad will take turns.” Be gentle but firm.

Acknowledge the experience of the child, “I know I do it differently, but that’s okay.”

• Don’t interfere when the “out” parent is trying. Help create opportunities for that parent to come in. When they do, give them a chance to work it out. Step back and show support and encouragement.

• Both parents should do fun and mundane stuff so no-one is only the good or bad cop.

• A child needs one-on-one time with each parent every week. Positive feelings should be associated with both parents.

• Different parenting styles are okay; just agree on basic ground rules, but don’t disagree in front of the children.

• The preferred parent can feel overwhelmed, drained and resentful. Find ways of getting a break too.

• It’s okay to comment on a child’s preference, “I can see you really enjoy spending time with Dad these days.” Don’t blame the child for your hurt feelings or force them to choose between parents. Reinforce that they can show a preference but that you still love them. The unconditional love is what they’re looking for.

• Discipline your child if they’re disrespectful when showing favourites. Boundaries must be set.

• Praise and encourage your child when she responds to the “out” parent’s effort.

Avoid scolding her if she goes back to the “in” parent.

• Watch what you need and what the child needs. Don’t ask your child to affirm you; that’s not his job. *Due to the sensitive nature of the subject all names have been changed.

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upfront with paul

the last supper for social conduct PAUL KERTON gives vent to the total lack of manners he sees in children and urges parents to not let them off the hook.

PHOTOGRAPH: MARIETTE BARKHUIZEN

i

was having dinner with good friends and their children the other day and, I’m sorry to say, the children ate like pigs. We may as well have thrown the beautifully prepared food into a trough and let them fight over it on the floor. They snatched at the serving plates, gobbled the food with their mouths open while talking and playing with their cellphones and ate with their fingers, which they repeatedly wiped on their T-shirts.

Look, I’m no prude; I’ve killed, cooked and eaten food with my bare hands in the bush. Nibbling on a leg of chicken or the remnants of a lamb chop, fair enough, even in a restaurant; but mashed potato?

And salad? At the end of the meal they just ran from the table without an “excuse me” or a “thank you”, leaving messy plates, spilt drinks and knives and forks strewn all over the place.

I was mesmerised. Watching them I felt physically sick. I couldn’t say anything, obviously; they weren’t my children, but I

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Saskia, Paul and Sabina

promised never again to chastise my own children for not impeccably putting their knives and forks together. Overall, my two daughters do generally adhere to the rules and eat like grown-ups. But then, am I being a pompous ass? Who really cares about manners? Clearly a fast-diminishing few of us.

Later that evening, I informally challenged one of the boys and asked why he never put his knife and fork together after

a meal? “What is the point?”, fired back the boy. Well, as far as I am concerned, a) it is a universal signal that you have finished the meal and the plate is ready to be taken, b) it makes the plates easier to clear, given that 95 percent of children don’t clear their own plates and c) it signals respect for the host, which generally is the harassed parent who buys, prepares, cooks and serves the meal before clearing up afterwards.

Can you imagine if that parent cared so little about the child that they said, “Get your own dinner. I’m sick of cooking for you and allowing your fussiness: ‘I don’t like this, I like that. Can I have boiled not fried. I don’t like eggs anymore’.”

I didn’t, but I almost said to the boy: “When you want to go to the toilet, why do you go upstairs to the toilet, close the door, do what you have to do, pull the chain, put the seat down, wash your hands and come back? What is the point? Why don’t you just roll off the couch, pull your pants down, do what you have to do on the shag pile in front of the fireplace, pull your pants up and roll back onto the sofa? I mean, that way you wouldn’t miss a second of your precious SpongeBob SquarePants, would you?”

I’m sure Mom won’t mind clearing it up.

Well, not that sure actually. There is a limit to a modern parent’s capitulation. I hope.

You can now also follow Paul on Twitter: @fabdad1

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spotlight

the next big easy Golf is not just about making money and winning big tournaments. It can also

t the tender age of 14 years and six months, Andy Zhang became the youngest golfer to ever play in the US Open. Nobody expected much of the Chinese-born amateur when he played at the Olympic Club in San Francisco earlier this year. After all, he made the line-up after another player withdrew due to injury, and he was set against the best players in the world, on one of the toughest golf stages on the globe. Even though it did not take the teenager long to realize just how challenging the US Open can be, his performance was more than commendable. First of all, he qualified because he was good enough. Second, after an abysmal start, he composed himself like a true pro, settled down, kept his score on a steady eight-over and didn’t end stone-cold last. There’s a lot to be learnt on the green.

nature of the game Golf not only requires physical skill, which involves and develops fundamental body movement, but it also hones a child’s hand-eye coordination, reasoning, planning, visualization, mental development and discipline. Lisa Mackenzie, a golf specialist at the South African Golf

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Institute at the River Club in Cape Town, says the discipline of the game as a whole involves rules, etiquette and the constant need and drive to improve. “This gives juniors a lifelong skill, which will assist them as they get older,” says Mackenzie. “These principles will come through in all areas of their day-to-day lives.” The rules of golf are there to instil a discipline among players to ensure the game is fair and just.

A child grows up a lot faster on a golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.

– Jack Nicklaus Patrick O’Brien, a former Sunshine Tour winner who runs a golf academy in Midstream, Pretoria, confirms how dynamic golf is. “The most important thing that golf teaches children from a young age is to deal with the diversity of the game. Golf is probably the most difficult game to master and even the top professionals still learn new things about the game and themselves every day.”

O’Brien says the mental ability to focus and channel your

thoughts, by concentrating, as well as understanding how to control your body, comes together in the perfect golf shot. “That is what we first teach children: the discipline to control the mind and all its powers. We teach them to think positively, but also to accept the outcome, as we cannot always control the result the way we want to.”

Mackenzie adds that the etiquette aspect of the game teaches children basic manners as well as respect for their fellow players and their environment. “This enhances a child’s ‘gentlemanly conduct’,” says Mackenzie. Jack Nicklaus, the great American golfer and winner of 20 major championships, named Top Male Golfer of the 20th Century, and father of five and grandfather of 22, once casually remarked: “A child grows up a lot faster on a golf course.

Golf teaches you how to behave.”

it’s physical, too Someone once said that golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. That is not entirely true. O’Brien says golf is as demanding on the body as any other sport, and proper preparation is vital to prevent injuries. “Core strength and balance are of utmost importance to control the golf swing,

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PHOTOGRAPH: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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teach your children life-enhancing skills, says MARINA ZIETSMAN.

and because of that, all types of developmental exercises are important when you learn to play golf.” Mackenzie says that fundamental movement skills are best developed between the age of five and 10. Activities such as running, jumping, hopping and skipping and exercises that improve stability, the ABCS – agility, balance, coordination and speed – and kinetic awareness, help with this.

“Core power is very important as this enhances balance and dynamic power,” says Mackenzie. Golf players should also be fit enough to walk long distances, so cardio fitness is necessary.

O’Brien adds: “Your mental fitness for golf needs to be at the highest level to compete in tournaments, and to achieve that your physical fitness needs to be at its highest level.”

Mentally, you need to be able to concentrate for long periods and plan well. And because of the high concentration levels required, players should follow a nutritious diet.

not everyone is a tiger At the end of 2011, Tiger Woods earned a whopping $64 million, or R521 million. Only $2 million was earned on the course, but it does explain why his runabout car is a Porche 2000 Carrera GT. However, the reality is that very few golfers can go professional. For example, only approximately three percent of South Africans make it onto the Sunshine Tour and even less play internationally.

“Every year on the South African men’s tour, about 200 to 300 players, both amateur and professional, compete at the

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Q school for 30 tour cards,” says Mackenzie. André Louw, the head teaching professional at the Graeme Francis Golf Academy in Centurion, says the reality is that the cost of travelling and playing professionally can be excessive if you don’t have a sponsor. “Children also have hectic schedules today,” he adds, “and just don’t have enough time to commit to practising and playing the game.”

Mackenzie reminds us of the 10-year rule: It takes 10 000 hours of training over 10 years for an able-bodied athlete to reach peak performance. Tiger Woods might have been the youngest US Junior Amateur Champion at age 15, but he started playing golf at the age of three. “The goal for every parent should be to give their child the opportunity to play the game, learn the basics and take it further according to their needs,” says Mackenzie. Golf can be enjoyed at any age and there are various other golf-related careers, including retail, green-keeping and marketing, that can be pursued. Ultimately, golf is not always about the important

trophy. It’s about the journey and what you learn along the way – from others and yourself.

you’re not alone “I have personally trained children as young as four and have seen how many new friends they make by taking part in practices and tournaments,” says Louw. “I have seen how their confidence grows. I have trained children that are hearing-impaired and children diagnosed with ADHD. The difference I’ve seen in these children after playing golf is phenomenal, because golf does not require you to be big, perfect or strong. Handicaps in golf make all participants equal in their own right.” Bobby Jones, one of the most successful amateur golfers ever to compete on a national and international level, sums it up like this: “Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots – but you have to play the ball where it lies.”

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education

co-ed or same-sex?

It’s a hot debate for many parents, with strong

a

s an only child sent to girlsonly private schools I did well enough academically, but with few opportunities to mix with boys, I still vividly recall my awkwardness at my first socials around age 12. Boys were fascinating but foreign creatures and I was unsure how to relate.

This is still a major consideration raised by those advocating co-ed schools. “It’s critical to interact easily and naturally with the opposite gender,” says Nicky Whyte, principal of Greenside High, a respected

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co-ed school in Joburg. “Having either all girls or all boys is highly artificial; there’s no place like that in the real world.”

I put my two sons in a co-ed government primary school because of that, but also because of its reputation for providing an excellent progressive education. It helped my boys mix comfortably with girls, and produced results that secured both scholarships for secondary school.

Yet here’s the thing: both chose a boys-only school. It wasn’t just where their mates were going, they assured me; it had

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claims from both sides, writes GLYNIS HORNING.

a strong academic record and they felt they would do well there.

They have and that, of course, is the major consideration raised by those advocating single-sex education. “Our boys don’t have the distraction of the opposite sex at adolescence, and it’s easier to teach them because we can focus on their specific emotional and intellectual needs. Boys and girls are not wired the same,” says Trevor Kershaw, principal at Glenwood Boys High in Durban.

Glenwood is one of a handful of singlesex government schools in South Africa, and here, as in Britain, the US and Australia, most schools are co-educational, though singlesex schools are reportedly on the rise. They tend to be private or religious, and it may be this, Kershaw muses, that lends them cachet with some parents. “But the biggest draw card is academic excellence,” he says. “The top performing schools are single sex.”

measuring excellence In the most recent Sunday Times Top 100 Schools survey, 44 were all-girls and 19 allboys schools. And last year it was reported that in the Western Cape, the province with

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the second highest matric pass rate, five of the top 10 performing schools were girls’ schools, four were boys’ schools and just one co-educational. Yet in Gauteng, the province with the highest matric pass rate, only four of the 20 top schools were single-sex.

What does this tell us? Very little, says Professor Ruksana Osman, head of Wits

even elude educationists abroad. A recent publication of the American Psychological Association lamented “a dearth of quality studies”, and the fact that “it’s nearly impossible to compare apples to apples when it comes to single-sex versus co-education”. Most research on single-sex education has been with private schools,

The most critical criteria are committed, capable teachers, sound leadership, supportive parents, and children that take responsibility for their learning.

– Prof Ruksana Osman, Wits School of Education School of Education. “These results are not enough to determine whether single-sex schools are better than co-educational.

There’s been little research on the effects of single-sex and co-ed education in South Africa. We look to international studies, but it’s hard to draw comparisons, as often their samples are from areas with few economic, ethnic or other differences.”

Meaningful comparisons between same-sex and co-educational schools

and when state co-ed schools change to single-sex, they often make academic changes, so it’s difficult to attribute gains or losses to any specific measure.

“The choice is something parents and children must weigh up for themselves,” says Osman. “Sit with your child and ask them: given your individual temperament, needs and talents, what could you gain from a same-sex or co-ed school, and what could you lose? Look at the plus and

minus points, but also at interesting points such as opportunities to explore things in different ways.” For the main issues to discuss, read “contentions to consider”.

In the end it doesn’t matter whether you opt for a single-sex school or co-ed, Osman concludes, so long as it’s a good one.

“The most critical criteria are committed, capable teachers, sound leadership, supportive parents, and children that take responsibility for their learning.”

Which type of schooling did you choose for your child?

31% 69% prefer single-sex

prefer co-ed schooling

childmag.co.za asked you

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education

contentions to consider

1

“Boys and girls are wired differently.”

The evidence: A 2007 neuro-imaging study by the US National Institute of Mental Health showed that areas of the brain develop in a different sequence and at a different rate in boys and girls; the part most associated with visual processing develops fastest in girls aged six to 10, and in boys after 14 years old. Other studies have shown that language areas in the brains of many boys aged five resemble those of girls aged three, and that boys of five are often developmentally unable to keep still and quiet.

Psychologist’s view: “Boys and girls are wired differently and need different methods of instruction,” says Cape Town educational psychologist Rene Daniels.

Same-sex schools can cater to different learning styles. One should however bear in mind that the brain grows and develops throughout a person’s life. Exposure to different things and opportunities can culminate in acquiring new and different skills, which may have been stereotyped to a specific sex. In any good educational environment, educators should expose learners to different teaching methodologies and learning styles so that the choice of how to learn becomes a personal one.”

2

“Girls do better at maths and science in all-girl schools; boys do better in languages and the arts in allboy schools.”

The evidence: According to a 2006 Cambridge University study, boys improved in English and foreign languages in singlesex classes, and girls improved in maths and physics. Boys felt freer to talk about aspects of certain set works without girls around, and girls felt less constrained to fit stereotypical expectations. This reinforced a US study that found boys at single-sex schools were twice as likely to pursue “non-macho” interests such as art, music and drama.

Psychologist’s view: “Stereotyping can have a self-fulfilling effect and reinforce certain beliefs in both sexes about their abilities in these two learning areas,” says Daniels. “If educators in co-ed schools

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have the same expectations, encourage participation and provide equal learning opportunities to both sexes, the same results can be obtained as in single-sex schools.

Educators need to cater to learners’ different personalities, coaching the more introverted of either sex to reveal their strengths, and teaching the more boisterous to allow each one the opportunity to share their talents.”

3

“Boys and girls mature emotionally at a different pace.”

The evidence: Girls mature faster than boys and tend to be more intelligent and more mature until puberty, when boys catch up and can overtake them. The ongoing UK National Child Development Study measured intelligence at ages seven and 11 (before puberty), and found girls slightly but “statistically significantly” more intelligent than boys. The gender difference reversed at 16, when the average IQ for girls is 99,2 and for boys 100,8.

Psychologist’s view: “That boys need to use force to stand up for themselves has much to do with the late acquisition of emotional intelligence,” says Daniels.

“Girls are socialised to be more empathic and passive. Co-ed as well as single-sex schools need to create opportunities for community service, perhaps reading with orphans at a shelter or visiting old age homes. Parents also play an integral role in developing emotional skills and aiding children’s maturity in the way they rear and interact with them.”

4

“Adolescent girls and boys (12 to 16) are less distracted, and study and behave better, in single-sex classes.”

The evidence: A study by the Australian Council for Educational Research showed that academically, students in singlesex classes scored 15 to 22 percentile ranks higher than those in co-ed. They were also better behaved, found learning more enjoyable and the curriculum more relevant. When UK educator Graham Able compared student performance in 30 single-sex and co-ed schools, he found the academic advantage of singlesex schooling even greater for boys, debunking the common notion that girls do better in single-sex schools, and magazine cape town

revealing that boys are “brought on” by the more studious girls in co-ed classes.

Psychologist’s view: “Research indicates that single-sex schools improve classroom behaviour and focus,” says Daniels. “Boys won’t have the need to impress or outsmart girls or show off, which causes distraction, and girls won’t have to downplay their strengths. In a co-ed environment, expectations create social pressures in both girls and boys to perform in a particular manner. If educators acknowledge strengths in both sexes at co-ed schools, have the same expectations from all learners, apply firm and consistent discipline and encourage a sound work ethic from both sexes, both can perform and focus equally well.”

5

“Co-ed schools are better preparation for adult relationships.”

The evidence: There has been little research to show that children from co-ed schools go on to have more stable or

fulfilling relationships. A 2002 study in the Journal of Biosocial Sciences found that attending a single-sex school did not affect boys or girls developing relationships during high school or university, and girls from single-sex schools were less likely to have unwanted pregnancies.

Psychologist’s view: “Co-ed schools represent a microcosm of society and allow more social interaction with the opposite sex and exposure to deal with social issues in mixed groups,” says Daniels.

“However, if single-sex schools arrange social or cultural events with an opposite single-sex school, enough opportunities can be generated. Parents need to create opportunities in their social circle to mix with their children’s cousins or family friends’ children of the opposite sex. Enrol them in drama, karate or dance groups or any other social clubs where both sexes participate and social interaction is enhanced. Such things are not the responsibility of schools alone.”

principals’ views co-ed schooling Nicky Whyte, principal, Greenside High: “In 25 years of teaching co-ed schools, I’ve never seen the progress of either sex affected by them being together. I think our classes and debates are more interesting and intense because of the different perspectives from both genders, and our pupils slot comfortably into tertiary education. Some parents worry about the safety of girls in a co-ed school, given the headlines about rape, but that depends completely on individual schools.” single-sex girls’ schooling Anthea Cereseto, principal, Parktown Girls’ High: “I’ve taught at girls’ schools for 30 years and co-ed for 10 and have seen children happy at both. I think our main advantage is the ability to develop confidence in girls, and I believe they are better prepared for tertiary education because they know how to focus on academic studies. Why should girls spend five years in a high school merely to learn to associate with boys and be the second-class citizens whose needs are generally subservient to boys’ needs?” single-sex boys’ schooling Andri Barnes, deputy head, Glenwood Boys’ High: “For boys who want to get on with learning, enjoy the relaxed camaraderie of other boys, and have classes and extramurals tailored to their strengths, I believe a single-sex school is the answer.

Boys can still socialise with girls through the likes of Rotary Interact and school plays where we partner with girls’ schools. I’ve taught co-ed and found girls were more confident and giggly, boys often showed off, and disciplining was more difficult. But there’s a place for both types of schools.”

pupils’ views Tim Botha, 18, Durban computer engineering student: “I was in a co-ed primary (Sarnia), then a boys’ high school for three years (Glenwood), and finished at another co-ed (Kloof High). I was fine with all three because all are good schools.

The fact that they were single-sex or co-ed made little difference except that Kloof High felt a bit more relaxed.”

Vicki Smith, 20, Cape Town PR intern: “I went to Rustenburg Girls’ School from Grade 2 to matric. After a co-ed pre-primary I couldn’t imagine not having boys around to climb trees with. But I had good teachers, and a dynamic and diverse environment with an array of extramurals, including cricket. I made amazing friends and in Grade 8 we met a group of guys from Rondebosch, our ‘brother’ school, at a camp, which grew wonderful friendships and the occasional relationship. I don’t think an all-girls school was detrimental to developing my social skills. I learnt lots from my girlfriends and was able to truly develop a good sense of self. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong option; it depends on the child.”

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25

spotlight

no place like home Many South Africans, having left home in search of a better life, have

outh Africans fly the nest for various reasons. Some go in search of a promising job opportunity, to earn foreign currency and give themselves a financial head start; others want to travel – about 10 years ago it seemed everyone was graduating from university and leaving on a two-year work visa to do some hard time in cold London town. For many, the reasons are emotional and so the circumstances under which they decide to leave are not ideal. South Africa’s sometimes unstable political climate, a lack of faith in our politicians and a growing fear and insecurity about crime, have prompted many a Saffa to jump on the brain-drain train to Australia, chanting that the country is going to the dogs.

Bruce Townsend, from Joburg, who relocated to Brisbane when his wife was offered a major IT contract, says on his return to the motherland, “I met people in Australia who have been away for many years and I’m pretty sure they will never return, which is fine. There are others who spend a lot of time affirming their decision to leave.

They feed off the bad press South Africa gets to convince themselves that they have made the right decision.”

Martine Schaffer, former chief executive officer of Homecoming Revolution, a non-profit organisation that helps expatriates return, says, “It’s the attitude you go with that counts: go because you are being pulled, not pushed; and don’t think that another country is going to be the answer to sorting out issues that exist in your environment – you take your stuff with you.” She goes on to say that if you stay, be aware that South Africa is not perfect and make an attempt to be part of the solution.

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Anyone with a strong “for or against” stance on living in SA will be able to provide endless lists of statistics and case studies to prove their point. However, for many, home is home and the pull back to their birthplace remains strong. Add to that the desire to give your children the childhood you experienced, as well as having them grow up near their grandparents, and the need takes a vice-like grip.

what’s not to love?

Often people who have been away from home for an extended period come full circle; finding that they are homesick for the things that initially made it difficult for them to adjust to life in a new country. There are the cultural differences: ever heard a South African complain that the English are miserable and never smile? There could be a language barrier, a new country naturally lacks familiarity, there is no family support and the weather in the northern hemisphere causes many sun-loving South Africans to become seasonally depressed, with many never quite getting used to the colder climate.

“What I missed most about SA were the people, the people, the people,” says Bruce. This country has its own special brand of culture, sense of humour and attitude – the English in all their politeness and mild manneredness can easily be affronted by how direct we can be, calling it rude. We, however, call it being down-to-earth, straightforward and to the point and we all get it here in SA. Then there’s our rainbow nation identity; unique and in that young, growing phase where amid the blackouts, crime rate and disillusionment, many are successfully

tapping into the opportunities this country has to offer.

You also miss your proximity to nature – paradise is never far from your doorstep in SA, so being stuck in traffic is tempered by mountain views and for some weekday lunch hours can easily be spent at a beach café.

Then there’s the way of life; the near-holy ritual of the braai, and one of the biggest nuances between us and Australia, according to David J Smith of The Guardian.

The Australian barbie, he says, is actually outdoor stoving where, “with a turn of the valve, a push of the button, the Aussie is cooking his meat on a Liquefied Petroleum Gas stove that just happens to be outside. There is no wood, no charcoal, not even a lowly briquette”.

missing the simple things Ask expats who have returned home what they missed the most and the answers are quite basic. Martine Kotze says, “Woolies food, biltong, the Spur, Table Mountain, our rainbow nation, the birthdays and weddings of our loved ones, African sunsets and the smell of rain on dry land.”

For Kirsten Dubberly, it was “family, good weather, the beach and genuine smiles on people’s faces”. Bruce, who has a renewed appreciation for home after being away, says the negatives outweigh the positives only if you allow them to. “With the high crime rate, you need time to adjust back to the realisation that if you are careful, crime does not have to be a ruling factor in your life.” After returning, Martine tries to avoid negativity and enjoys every day in the country that her family can once again call home. Kirsten can’t wait to have that feeling of belonging again.

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PHOTOGRAPHS AND ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

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returned with a renewed appreciation for their country. By LUCILLE KEMP

If you choose to stay, be aware that SA is not perfect and make an attempt to be part of the solution.

p is for planning If moving house is one of the most stressful things you’ll ever have to do; relocating countries will take years off your life if you’re caught unprepared. Ensuring that everything runs smoothly and perfectly in sync with the transition can become a logistical nightmare. Martine’s family, who were returning from Canada where the school term runs from September to June, needed to decide when to take the children out of school and enrol them in a South African school. There was also the challenge of small but vital things, such as getting a phone line and internet connection and opening bank accounts with no proof of address or utility accounts.

Concerns about uprooting yourself and your family, as well as the slow and uneasy process of settling in to a new life, can create emotional upheaval and anxiety about your future. Kirsten’s extended family is worried that, after being in London for seven years, she and her husband won’t be able to find work. But as she puts it, “If we don’t try we won’t know. It’s awful being so far away from close family when you have a baby and, after all, we are coming back with a lot more life experience and a lot more money than the £400 we rocked up with in London.”

Homecoming Revolution points out that the real planning begins when you decide you’re coming home and you’ve actually established the moving date. Kirsten had been homesick for years before she and her husband decided they were going to move back and, if left to her own devices, she would have packed up immediately after the decision was made.

Fortunately her husband was more sensible. He knew they had to achieve certain goals before they could return so he made the call to stay in London for another 12 months. Homecoming Revolution lays the procedure out clearly, providing different stages of planning – from what to think about with more than six months to go right up to what you should be doing a month before your departure date.

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useful resources • H omecoming Revolution: visit homecomingrevolution.co.za • South Africa.info: visit southafrica.info • Why I’ll Never Live In Oz Again by Rick Crosier, Andrew Donaldson, Josef Talotta, John Wardell and Tim Richman (Two Dogs, 2008) • My Traitor’s Heart by Rian Malan (Atlantic Monthly Press, 2000) • Should I Stay Or Should I Go? by André Brink, Kevin Bloom, Jacob Dlamini, Kerry Rogers, Liz Butler, Gillian Tucker, Sarah Britten, Sarah Penny, James Carolin, Barry Levy, Anne Townsend, Ian MacDonald, Daniel Ford, Louie Cowan, Ted Botha and Jenni Baxter (Two Dogs, 2010)

homecoming check list • S tart saving, especially to tide you over in the first few months while you’re looking for work, fitting out a household, buying a car and needing to cover relocation expenses.

• Start looking for schools back home. Put the children’s names on waiting lists. Also, you should try to time your return so that you create as little disruption as possible. Martine’s biggest challenge was finding a school when they arrived in May. Her son had to start Grade 0 the following year, but schools had already done their placements.

• Send money back home if you still have an account. As you get closer to your moving date, stop spending money on stuff that you will have to ship back. The fatter your wallet, the better.

• Invest in property. Often you can get a South African home loan while living and working abroad.

You could also start looking for temporary residence.

Martine’s family found a flat to stay in for the first couple of weeks, and then they went scouting for

a long-term rental. Staying with family may be an option for some, but most people prefer the privacy of their own space while they adjust.

• Organise valid documentation for all parties, including children and foreign spouses. Kirsten did a foreign birth registration through the SA Home Office in London for her UK-born son and she will eventually apply for an SA passport for him.

• Look at your lifestyle. Scout the different areas where you could potentially live. Find a good doctor and dentist, a church, restaurants, parks for the children and places to visit.

• Look at the cost of living. Kirsten and her husband, in preparing to make the move, are looking at the cost of living: school fees, grocery prices and buying a car, which has helped them figure out how much they should be earning per month.

• Arrange a container for your furniture.

Kirsten is shipping their home contents back so they have made financial provision to afford it.

Information courtesy of homecomingrevolution.co.za

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celebrate your roots Recognise your South African heritage this month by visiting landmarks of our country’s rich history. By LUCILLE KEMP

!Khwa ttu San Culture and Education Centre

Bo-Kaap

cultural villages Bo-Kaap The legacy The Bo-Kaap is one of the oldest cultural areas in Cape Town, going back almost 350 years to the development of this city. Shireen’s guided walking

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tours last up to 2,5 hours and cover the history, culture, architecture, religions and traditions of Cape Town.

To do The walking tour includes visits to a museum, the oldest mosque in SA, the oldest house in the Bo-Kaap area, the first farmhouse as well as eating Cape

The legacy The centre is a celebration of San culture, past and present, and supports the upliftment of the San people.

The team is working to clear out alien plants, set up an aftercare school and develop the cultural exhibitions. It also offers training and capacity building.

To do The San take you on a journey into their history, traditional knowledge, skills, languages, customs and current affairs.

Area Next to the R27, West Coast Rd, Yzerfontein For more info visit khwattu.org

Wupperthal Mission Village The legacy In the remote TraTra Valley, hidden at the end of the twisting Koueberg Pass, lies the picturesque Moravian Mission Village of Wupperthal. Established in 1830, the town has a long tradition of small-scale farming and is known for growing organic rooibos tea.

To do Walk around this pretty village filled with traditional thatched, white-washed cottages. Visit the Rooibos Tea Farms, Leipoldt House, The Church built in 1835 and the Shoe & Glove Factory.

Area Wupperthal, Cederberg For more info visit wupperthal.co.za or tourismwupperthal.co.za

galleries New Heritage Gallery The legacy The historic landmark of Heritage Square holds buildings that date

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PHOTOGRAPHs: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM / Maropeng / Carina Beyer

Malay food. Also, see two shrines and walk through the town, feel the communal village atmosphere and behold the signature brightly-painted houses.

Area Bo-Kaap and the city bowl surrounds For more info 082 423 6932

back to the 1770s, as well as the oldest grapevine in the southern hemisphere, which still yields wine, next to the gallery.

To do Perhaps the smallest gallery imaginable, and facing the renowned courtyard of the square, it houses a collection of unusual, vibrant and collectible outsider art, photography and mixed media from local and international artists.

Area Heritage Square, Shortmarket St For more info visit newheritagegallery.com

South African National Gallery The legacy Exhibitions explore our nation’s culture, both past and present, making it an out-the-box place to teach children about our history. The gallery also often hosts retrospectives of some of South Africa’s most respected and interesting artists.

To do Dispel the myth of art being “boring” at Cape Town’s premier art gallery.

Selections from the permanent collection change regularly to enable the museum to have a full programme of temporary paintings, works on paper, photography, sculpture, bead work, textiles, architecture and multimedia.

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Area Government Ave, Gardens For more info iziko.org.za/museums/ south-african-national-gallery

The Michaelis Collection at the Iziko Old Town House The legacy Not only does the Old Town House exhibit the largest collection of Netherlandish art in the southern hemisphere, but it was Cape Town’s first city hall. In 1895, the Town House became the first building in the city to have electric lights. An illustrated history of the building is on display in the reception area and provides some interesting and little known facts about one of South Africa’s hidden gems.

To do The fireplace tiles in one exhibition room depict scenes from the Bible – a great guessing game to play with the little ones. The Baroque meets modern exhibition will have older children exploring art through the centuries. End off with a cool drink at The Ivy Garden Café, situated in the courtyard.

Area Greenmarket Square, Cape Town For more info visit iziko.org.za/museums/ michaelis-collection-at-the-old-town-house

heritage trails Church Square Tour The legacy The walking tour area covers Church Square, the Gothic-style Groote Kerk, The Slave Lodge and St. George’s Cathedral. Some of these buildings date back to the time when slavery was a booming trade. The Groote Kerk took roughly 26 years to build and was completed in 1704. It is South Africa’s oldest Dutch Reformed Church, although little remains of the original church building today besides the old tower and extravagant pulpit.

St. George’s Cathedral is situated at the corner of Wale Street and Adderley Street. It is an Anglican cathedral and is the oldest cathedral in southern Africa. Apart from visiting the impressive cathedral, you can take a meditative walk through the labyrinth.

To do In the self-guided walk you can easily cover The Slave Lodge, Groote Kerk and St. George’s Cathedral.

Children will love walking the labyrinth at St. George’s Cathedral. Stop for coffee, milkshakes or toasties or for a

bite at the Crypt beneath the Cathedral and visit the Company’s Gardens to feed the squirrels.

Area Cape Town City Centre For more info visit capetown.travel

Gugulethu Township Tours The legacy You will be briefed on the history of Gugulethu and the townships before exploring the informal settlement, Kanana. View the inside of a shack, the site’s watering points, a spaza shop and crèche.

To do Liziwe Tours does walking guided tours stopping at all the heritage memorials.

The walk includes fun activities for the children, that will teach them the history of the townships. Visit a shebeen, walk to the Gugulethu Seven Memorial, proceed to the Amy Biehl Memorial and then head to Mzoli’s Place for lunch. The team can organise a street soccer match against community children in the new children’s park or at a primary school in the township.

Area Gugulethu For more info 021 633 7406 or 082 254 9591

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landscapes Cape Point Nature Reserve The legacy Named the “Cape of Storms”

by Bartolomeu Dias in 1488; the “Point” was a navigational landmark by day.

By night, and in fog, it was a menace beset by violent storms and dangerous rocks that over the centuries littered shipwrecks around the coastline. In 1859 the first lighthouse was completed; it still stands at 249 metres above sea-level on the highest section of the peak and is now used as the centralised monitoring point for all the lighthouses on the South African coast.

To do You can ride the Flying Dutchman funicular up to the viewing point, below the old lighthouse. Discover cultural and historical spots, including monuments to early explorers such as Vasco da Gama and Bartolomeu Dias. There are great swimming spots, picnic sites and walks at the Bordjiesrif and Buffels Bay tidal pools. You can walk the shipwreck trail to view a few of the 26 recorded shipwrecks around Cape Point. Take part in a range of exciting outdoor activities, such as sea kayaking and mountain biking. Always keep a lookout for the legendary ghost ship – The Flying Dutchman.

Area Cape Point For more info visit capepoint.co.za

Sutherland Observatory The legacy The first observatory to be established in 1820. The South African astronomical Observatory (SAAO) is the national centre for optical and infrared astronomy in South Africa. Probably one of the most important reasons why anyone visits Sutherland can be found 18km outside of the town in the direction of Fraserburg, where the largest telescope in the Southern Hemisphere, SALT, is found.

To do This is a slightly longer drive than normal for a day trip but is perhaps worth it for the extraordinary stargazing opportunities in this region. Go on a fully guided tour through the visitor centre and a guided tour of selected research telescopes including SALT. Night tours include the viewing of interesting objects in the sky through two dedicated visitor telescopes.

Area Sutherland For more info visit saao.ac.za or salt.ac.za

West Coast Fossil Park The legacy During phosphate mining operations that started in the 1930s, fossils were discovered in what is believed to be an ancient proto-Berg river channel dating back between two and five million years. During those times, the sea level was 30 metres higher than today, creating big offshore islands in the vicinity of what is now Saldanha and Vredenburg on the west coast. Table Mountain would also

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have been a huge island. The West Coast Fossil Park boasts more than 200 different animals and over one million bones, making it one of the richest of its kind in the world.

To do The hourly guided tours include a visit to the excavation site, which is under cover and can be viewed whatever the weather conditions. The visitor centre has a small museum. School groups have a choice of a variety of programmes including mock digs and skeleton activities.

Area Yzerfontein For more info visit fossilpark.org.za

museums Gold of Africa Museum The legacy The purpose of the collection is to preserve the art of African goldsmithing while inspiring contemporary design.

To do Gold of Africa’s school programmes have been designed for Grades 4, 5, 6, 7 and 10 learners and are all curriculum based. Book ahead for a guided Pangolin night tour.

Area Strand St For more info visit goldofafrica.com

Heart of Cape Town Museum The legacy The museum is built on a heritage site and is where the first successful human heart transplant was done by Prof Chris Barnard and his team on 3 December 1967.

To do Conducted two-hour tours give the story of the first heart transplant as you move through the actual operating theatres where history was made 45 years ago. They offer tours for school groups.

Area Groote Schuur Hospital, Main Rd, Observatory For more info visit heartofcapetown.co.za

The Chavonnes Cannon Battery Museum The legacy Step back into Cape Town as it was 280 years ago. In 1726, there was no Waterfront, no Clock Tower and no Alfred Basin. From the Museum, go into the depths of the now Nedbank building and see how the battery looked when it was built. Experience the ancient walls made of Table Mountain rock and granite cemented with a mixture made by burning seashells from Robben Island. Stand on the original Cape shoreline land reclamation.

To do Touch the cannons and see the different types of cannon balls and uniforms. Wear an 18th Century Tricorne hat and experience how people dressed at this bustling halfway stop between Europe and the East. See how soldiers loaded and fired the cannons that made this battery terrifying to hostile ships on the lucrative Spice and Slave Route. From the ramparts outside, see the smoke from Cape Town’s Noon Gun when it fires on the hill behind.

Area Clock Tower, V&A Waterfront magazine cape town

For more info info@chavonnesmuseum. co.za or visit chavonnesmuseum.co.za

The Iziko South African Museum The legacy The museum was founded in 1825 and moved to its current location in the Company’s Gardens in 1897.

To do For a fun and educational family outing, explore the Discovery Room and spectacular exhibitions such as Shark World, Whale Well, African Dinosaurs and Virtual Earth. Housed in the Iziko South African Museum, the Planetarium is a celestial theatre in the round that recreates the night sky, transporting audiences through the wonders of the universe.

Area Queen Victoria Rd, Gardens For more info visit iziko.org.za

rock art centres Sevilla Rock Art Trail The legacy The route is four kilometres long with nine rock art sites along the route. Permits for the route are required, and can be bought from Mrs Strauss at the farm.

To do There is a walking trail of two to three hours that takes visitors to various rock art sites. A short guide book can be purchased on the farm.

Area near Clanwilliam For more info visit clanwilliam.info

Stadsaal Caves The legacy San rock art paintings are found high in the central Cederberg Wilderness beyond Cederberg Cellars and Sanddrif. The region has open caves and rock formations. These caves were used in the 19th and 20th century for secret meetings by the government and community leaders. You will even find their names and the dates when they participated in these meetings on the walls of the Stadsaal Cave.

To do You will love going under and over the caves and rocks, capturing the play of light and shadows on the interesting

formations. There are some San rock paintings from the time when elephants roamed freely through the Cederberg.

The rock art is estimated to be up to 3 000 years old. You will need to buy a permit and the tour takes two to three hours.

Area Cederberg For more info visit cederberg.com or cederberg.co.za

theatre Artscape Theatre The legacy The Artscape Theatre Centre, which belongs to the provincial government, was opened in 1971 as the Nico Malan Theatre Centre. The Cape Performing Arts Board (CAPAB) programmed and managed the Nico Malan Theatre Centre as a production house with four arts companies – orchestra, opera, ballet and drama. These companies had full-time performers, and technical and administrative staff. In 2001, the Nico Malan was renamed the Artscape.

To do In September, the Shakespeare Schools Festival begins, followed by the Nando’s Comedy Festival. Mid September features the National Ballet of Cuba and at the end of the month, the renowned opera Porgy and Bess is coming to town.

Area Cape Town CBD For more info visit artscape.co.za

The Fugard Theatre The legacy The 280-seat Fugard Theatre is located within the historic Sacks Futeran building in Cape Town’s District Six, with the renovated Congregational Church Hall in Caledon Street as its entrance. The Fugard is named in honour of Athol Fugard, one of South Africa’s great playwrights.

In 2011 Fugard received the prestigious Tony Award for Lifetime Achievement in Theatre.

To do The line-up is Santa’s Story starting at the end of August, and David Kramer and Taliep Petersen’s smash hit musical,

The Iziko South African Museum

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the double Olivier award-winning Kat and the Kings runs until 2 September.

Area District 6, Cape Town For more info visit thefugard.com

tours of monuments, plaques and buildings Historic Church Street walk in Tulbagh The legacy Tulbagh is a unique 18th and 19th century streetscape that exudes an old-world charm.

To do This one- to two-hour walking tour is for those with a passion for history and architecture. The tour explains the role Tulbagh played in the Cape from the Stone Ages through to the pioneering and settler times in the Roedezant Valley. It covers the development of the Cape vernacular and gives an overview of the colony from the founding of “het land van Waveren” to the development of Tulbagh Village in 1790.

Special attention is given to the earthquake of 1969 and the renovation of the village.

There is also a guided tour of four museums.

Area Church St, Tulbagh For more info visit cdq.co.za

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Huguenot Memorial Museum and Huguenot Monument tour The Legacy The museum aims to preserve the heritage of the Huguenots of South Africa, their genealogy and the history of Franschhoek. Freedom of Religion in South Africa is represented through its exhibitions and programmes.

To do You can visit the museum and monument, and educational and guided tours are available. Picnics on the premises are allowed and the museum is open from Monday to Sunday.

Area Franschhoek For more info 021 876 2532 or visit museum.co.za

UNESCO world heritage sites in South Africa Cape Floral Region, Western Cape

Huguenot Memorial Museum and Huguenot Monument tour

for fresh, locally grown flowers… Sillery Flower Farm, Constantia

Sillery Farm, on the green belt alongside Lane Stables and Riding School in Constantia, sells dahlias, sweet peas, poppies, stocks, purple violets and other seasonal flowers; all at a good price. From Ladies Mile turn left into Spaanschemat Rd. Directly after Peddlars on the Bend, turn right into Brounger Rd (dirt track).

Park your car facing Lane Stables and walk down to the Wendy houses. Contact: 021 794 2125

A site made up of eight protected areas covering 553 000 ha, the Cape Floral Region is one of the richest areas for plants in the world. You can explore the many areas in and around Cape Town, including on the slopes and top of Table Mountain, at Cape Point, in the Kirstenbosch National Botanic Garden, and in the Silvermine Nature Reserve. For more info visit southafrica.info

Cradle of Humankind, Sterkfontein Widely recognised as the place from which all of humankind originated, the visitors center for the Cradle of Humankind World Heritage Site, Maropeng, offers exhibitions and interactive displays that highlight humanity’s origins. Walks and guided

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tours with scientists are offered around the active digs at Swartkrans and Coopers Cave, with stargazing events at night. For more info visit maropeng.co.za

iSimangaliso Wetland Park, St Lucia, KwaZulu-Natal The area comprises a variety of landforms, including coral reefs, long sandy beaches, coastal dunes, lake systems, swamps, and extensive reed and papyrus wetlands.

You can go game- and bird-viewing on self-guided and guided walking trails or drives on the numerous trails and loop roads within the park. You can also go on a guided night drive in the Eastern Shores and uMkhuze as well as kayaking, horse riding, scuba diving and snorkelling. For more info visit isimangaliso.com

Richtersveld Cultural and Botanical Landscape, Northern Cape Situated in the North West deserts of South Africa, the area is communally owned and managed by the Nama people, who still practise their traditional

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nomadic lifestyle and migrate across the landscape and collect medicinal plants.

Visitors can see ancient engravings of the San, enjoy a donkey cart trip or take a guided tour. For more info visit richtersveld-conservancy.org

Robben Island, Table Bay Between the 17th and 20th centuries, Robben Island was used at various times as a prison, a hospital for socially unacceptable groups and a military base.

Its buildings, particularly those of the late 20th century, such as the maximum security prison for political prisoners such as Nelson Mandela, have witnessed the triumph of democracy and freedom over oppression. Cape Town’s V&A Waterfront is the departure point for a 3½-hour trip to Robben Island. For more info visit robben-island.org.za

The Mapungubwe Cultural Landscape, Northern Province An open, expansive savannah contains evidence of a flourishing Iron Age city that was ruled by an African king almost

a thousand years ago. In 1933, a grave of unknown origin was discovered and said to have contained the largest archaeological gold collection in SubSaharan Africa, the remains of which now lie at the Mapungubwe Museum at the University of Pretoria. You can go on guided tours to the archaeological and cultural sites, self-guided trails, eco routes, San art sites, birding trips and night drives. For more info visit mapungubwe.com

uKhahlamba Drakensberg Park, Western KwaZulu-Natal For 4 000 years, the San people lived in these mountains, leaving behind one of the biggest and most diverse collections of rock art in Sub-Saharan Africa. uKhahlamba, the Zulu name meaning “barrier of spears”, aptly describes this mountain range that is characterised by rocky peaks and mountain streams.

There are numerous hikes, resorts and other activities for families to enjoy. For more info visit drakensbergtourism.com

Vredefort Dome, North West Province Around 2 023 million years ago, a giant meteorite struck earth, leaving behind a crater nearly 300 kilometres wide. Called The Vredefort Dome, this is one of the world’s largest and most visible meteorite sites and provides a wealth of geological information. The crater has eroded away over millions of years, but is still visible from the hills near Parys and Vredefort.

Hiking in the area gives you a chance to see a variety of plant and bird life. Other activities nearby include horse riding, river rafting or visiting South Africa’s largest wild olive forest. For more info visit vredefortdome.org

Cradle of Humankind, Sterkfontein

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books

a good read for toddlers

Lunchtime

By Rebecca Cobb

food, ship friend & fun

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R135) It’s lunchtime for one little girl, but she’s too busy and just not hungry. Her mom, however, will have none of that and she has to stay at the table until she’s finished her lunch. A visiting crocodile, bear and wolf, however, are starving (it’s just as well that children taste revolting), and they help the little girl finish her meal. But as evening approaches, our little heroine is ravenous. She has been playing all day, and dinnertime seems to stay away as her little stomach reminds her with “growls” and “roars”. Will she also offer the next meal to her new friends?

Oh no, George!

By Chris Haughton

for preschoolers The Buttons Family – Going to the Doctor

By Vivian French and Sue Heap (Published by Walker Books, R70) This book is part of a series of six brilliant new first experiences books about the Buttons family, for children aged three and older. Cherry has a cold but she doesn’t want to go to the doctor. Her mom gently persuades her and when she gets there she finds it’s not scary at all. In fact, she has fun listening to her heartbeat on the stethoscope while her mom gets her medicine. The other books in the series deal with new shoes, staying overnight with Gran, the first day at playschool, the babysitter and going to the dentist.

The books include fun “I love the Buttons family” stickers.

(Published by Walker Books, R167) It’s hard work being good all the time, and it’s especially difficult for a dog like George. Harris, his owner, is off to do some shopping.

“Will you be good, George?” he asks. George really wants to be, but chocolate cake is just so very delicious, and digging in soil is so much fun and he does love to chase Cat... What will George do now? Chris Haughton’s distinctive artwork perfectly accompanies the innocent charm of affable George, a dog trying to be good. Little ones from as young as four will enjoy this story, and older children will learn the importance of giving your dog his daily exercise.

Zig Zag Zebra

By Madeleine Deny Barroux (Published by Barefoot Books, R80) Children who are motivated to draw are preparing to learn to read and write at the same time. Encourage your children to paint, colour, copy, draw and doodle, and you will help them to develop their literacy skills along the way. Zig Zag Zebra offers the perfect way to develop creativity in children between the ages of three and seven. With all kinds of exercises, the book helps small children to master drawing skills, shape recognition, fingerprinting, line drawing, colour combining and composition.

for early graders Vulgar the Viking and the Rock Cake Raiders

By Odin Redbeard

Magic Toyshop – Treasure Island Trouble, The Rabbit Rescue and Ragbag Friends

By Jessie Little

(Published by Nosy Crow, R79) The Vulgar the Viking series is perfect to get boys from the age of seven hooked on reading. In this edition, Vulgar decides to carry out his own Viking raid: a voyage across the fishpond to plunder the bake-house. But as he and Knut sneak into the cellar to build their longship, Freya, who demands to join the crew, catches them. Crammed into their makeshift vessel, along with Grunt the dog, the trio struggle across the pond and successfully make off with a haul of rock cakes. But when a squabble breaks out on the return journey, the trio end up in the pond, and Vulgar finds himself in very hot water.

(Published by Faber and Faber, R57 each) The Magic Toyshop series of books is perfect for children between the ages of five and seven. Enter the world of the Hoozles – they are not ordinary toys and when they find a special friend in Willow, they come alive. In The Rabbit Rescue naughty Croc causes trouble and Smooches the rabbit needs Willow’s help. Willow can’t wait to go to Smuggler’s Cove in Treasure Island Trouble, but Croc secretly makes his way there as well and is set on making life hard for Willow. In Ragbag Friends, Croc creates his own set of Hoozles from bits and bobs, and Willow feels responsible for finding loving homes for these raggedy toys.

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for preteens and teens

for us

Whisper

By Alyson Noël

Love, Sex, Fleas, God: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad

By Bruce Clark

(Published by Macmillan Children’s Books, R85) This is the fourth book in the moving and uplifting Riley Bloom series, which explores one girl’s adventures in the afterlife. Twelve-year-old Riley Bloom – ace Soul Catcher – faces her toughest challenge yet. She must travel to Ancient Rome and convince dead gladiator, Theocoles, to accept his fate and move on. Then she meets the charming Messalina, who gives Riley a dramatic makeover, transforming her into a beautiful teenager. Finally Riley experiences her first kiss. In a world this enchanting, will she ever want to leave? The series is recommended for children from the age of nine to 12.

Oliver Stranger and the Journey to the Swamps

By Dianne Hofmeyr

an african tale

a dad’s story

(Published by Umuzi, R162) Bruce Clark, the world’s best dad, had a nightmare childhood that spewed him out onto the streets at age 16, uneducated and livid. Deep into adulthood he remained pretty much like that, until the love of a good woman grounded him. They got married and, at age 47, he became a father. Love, Sex, Fleas, God is Clark’s terrifically sad and funny account of parenthood seen through the eyes of one who knows about vulnerability; a father who would do anything to protect his children and rear them well and a man who feels a stab every day as his wife leaves for work. Clark’s story is What Women Want turned on its feet. This book makes you laugh and cry. It grips your heart and shows both the adult and child in you how frail and glorious a human life is.

(Published by Tafelberg, R120) Oliver is a boy from Tooting, England, whose frog specialist father has gone missing in Botswana.

A Small Fortune

By Rosie Dastgir

Lured away by the evil-minded Alecto, who pretends to be his aunt, Oliver makes friends with Zinzi, a girl who delights in caring for wild animals.

The two of them are blindfolded, drugged and taken off into the Okovango Swamps by Alecto and her sidekick Molotse. They have already captured Oliver’s father in their search for frogs, which are destined to be frozen, exported and eaten as sushi. It is up to Oliver and Zinzi to rescue his father and stop Alecto and Molotse’s terrible scheme. Oliver’s letters to his grandmother in Tooting with handwritten inserts and a few drawings liven up the text.

(Published by Quercus, R195) Harris Anwar is a British Pakistani proud of his Eastern heritage. He is also proud to have installed his own central heating; proud of his swanky blue Citroën; even proud to have owned the same Hoover for over 20 years. The only thing rivalling his pride is his Muslim sense of responsibility and obligation. He longs to do well by those dearest to him, whether it’s his 19-year-old daughter, his cousin Nawaz and his family living on top of their burgeoning takeaway in Yorkshire, or his friends and family back in Pakistan. But there’s a problem: Harris’ best intentions always seem to breed the worst results. And so it’s no surprise that, when he decides to use his divorce settlement for selfless ends, this small fortune brings a huge cost of its own.

parenting books The Ultimate Baby & Toddler Q&A – Your 50 most common questions answered

By Netmums and Hollie Smith (Published by Headline Publishers, R207) There are so many vitally important questions for mothers of babies and toddlers, and the answers are here in The Ultimate Baby & Toddler Q&A. This is a comprehensive and accessible handbook from Netmums, the fastest-growing online parents’ organisation in the UK. It includes hundreds of top tips and suggestions from other mothers – real advice that works, from real moms who have experienced what you are going through.

Some of the questions asked include: How do I pick him up? Is it okay to bring her into my bed? Is it okay to give him a dummy? When will she sleep through? When should I start weaning him? When will she start crawling? How do I make a start on solids? When will he start talking?

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Brain Development Milestones and Learning

By Melodie de Jager (Published by Mind Moves Institute, R240) The author invites her readers to an all-encompassing counselling session answering every possible question parents or parents-to-be might come up with. She addresses the reader at eye-level while sharing her extensive knowledge about a baby’s development. She enables her readers to grasp the perfect plan that underlies early childhood development and parenthood and recognise the wisdom of nature that hides in the natural unfolding of the reflexes.

Having read the book, parents and parents-to-be will find themselves in a position to meet the challenge of parenthood with enriched knowledge not only about their baby, but also about their own parental abilities. Order the book on mindmoves.co.za

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what’s on in september

You can also access the calendar online at

childmag.co.za

Here’s your guide for what to do, where to go and who to see. Compiled by LUCILLE KEMP

24 mon

special events

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FUN for children

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only for parents

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bump, baby & tot in tow

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how to help

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SPECIAL EVENTS

FUN FOR CHILDREN

West Coast National Park flower season is open During this time the Postberg section of the park, which is closed to visitors for the rest of the year, is open to the public who come to see the veld covered in carpets of colour.

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ONLY FOR PARENTS

bump, baby & tot in tow

how to help

Nando’s Cape Town Comedy Festival This year’s festival brings together seven of the hottest international and local comedy acts.

Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminar Medical professionals will look at your baby’s sleep, feeding, development and health. Ideal for pregnant women and parents with children up to 18 months old.

National Cupcake Day This event aims to raise awareness and funds for children suffering with cancer.

You can assist by helping to bake cupcakes or by volunteering on the day at the participating malls across the country.

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PHOTOGRAPHS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Asara Pure Food Braai Market In honour of National Heritage Day, there will be several barbecues simultaneously on the go, including a traditional South African braai, a Spitbraai, a fish braai, a wine-barrel braai and a wine-barrel smoker.

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SPECIAL EVENTS 1 saturday Franschhoek Uncorked festival Franschhoek wineries showcase their new vintages and releases with cellar and vineyard tours, barrel tastings, food and wine pairings, art exhibitions as well as a fresh food market, and a variety of live shows, ranging from talented jazz musicians and blues bands to French-inspired music. Car enthusiasts will be thrilled with a rare exhibition of überluxury cars. Also 2 September. Time: 10am.

Venue: participating wineries. Cost: R100, which includes a tasting glass and free wine tasting at these wineries for the duration of the weekend. Contact: 021 876 2861 or visit franschhoekuncorked.co.za Gaia Waldorf School Spring Fayre The fair offers food, craft, games and entertainment for the whole family. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: Oude Molen Eco Village. Cost: free. Contact: 021 447 0546 Mzansi Magic Market Day Support young entrepreneurs, aged 7–15 years, who are judged for regional and national prizes for their hand- and home-made products.

There is a talent show for 24 sing and dance finalists aiming to make it to the national finals. Time: 10am–1pm. Venue: Centre Court, Canal Walk. Cost: free entry. Contact Patti: 083 310 9765 or patti@finewomen. co.za and for more info and entry forms, visit mzansimarket.co.za

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2 sunday Pride & Joy fun run Enjoy a three-, fiveor eight-kilometre run in the vineyards – beautiful scenery and great prizes for winners. There is a lucky draw, food stalls, live entertainment by Jaco Loots, wine sales and fun for the whole family. Time: 8am.

Venue: Lourensford Estate, Somerset West.

Cost R50, children under 5 enter free.

Contact: prideandjoyfunrun@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page: Pride & Joy Fun run 2012

Spring Fun and Kennel Building Day Join the hundreds of people building and painting kennels. The KFM 94.5 Ground Patrol is your emcee, while you enjoy an indoor and outdoor craft market, delicious food and beverages, circus entertainment (no animals), gumboot dancers and live music. Take part in giveaways, raffles and prizes for the best built and decorated kennels. Please take claw hammers. Funds raised go towards SA.Mast’s mass animal sterilisation, primary treatment and emergency medical assistance programme. All kennels are donated to needy pets in Khayelitsha. 1 September. Time: 10am. Venue: the hanger of The Academy of Math and Science, cnr Firgrove Rd and Spaanschemat River Rd, Constantia. Cost: adults R40, children under 12 R15. Contact: 021 712 2170, 084 778 1215, samast@samast.co.za or visit samast.co.za

8 saturday Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminar Medical professionals look at your baby’s development, sleep, feeding and health.

By equipping parents with tools to help their babies sleep and feed better, they will help alleviate a mom’s anxiety, helping them cope with their baby’s needs.

This year there are two new practical workshops: Johnson’s Baby Massage workshop and Hipp Organic Weaning to Feeding. Every mom walks away with two goodie bags, invaluable information contained in a comprehensive booklet, prizes and refreshments. For pregnant women and parents with children up to 18 months old. Time: 8am–5:30pm.

Venue: Westin Grand Hotel. Cost: R120 per session for workshops or R260 per session for the seminar. Contact: 021 461 4669, babysense@go4word.co.za or visit babysense.com

1 sat

Kommetjie Primary School International Food Fair Sample the delights of countries around the globe and support Kommetjie Primary in their most popular fundraiser of the year. Enjoy traditional dishes from Portugal, China, America, Holland, Italy, England, Greece and, of course, South Africa. Time: 6pm.

Venue: Teubes Rd, Kommetjie. Cost: free entry. Contact Kathy: 082 746 1609

13 thursday Sunny Skies Nursery open day A day for prospective parents to see how the school operates on a daily basis. The school accommodates children 2–5 years old. Time: 9am–11am. Venue: Sunny Skies Nursery School, 26 Howard Dr, Meadowridge. Cost: free. Contact Daneël: 021 712 5657, 082 781 3080 or sunnyskies@telkomsa.net

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20 thursday Open Book Festival With 150 events over five days at different interesting venues throughout Cape Town, the Open Book Festival features readings from around 100 authors, of which 25 are top international writers including André P. Brink, Emily Gravett, Nadine Gordimer, Patrick Flanery and Georges-Olivier Châteaureynaud. The event includes author dinners and writer sports, where the Festival turns writing into an Olympic game. Ends 24 September. Time: varies.

Venue: several venues in the Fringe District including The Fugard Theatre, District 6 Museum, the Homecoming Centre, the Townhouse Hotel, the Slave Lodge, the Iziko South African Museum, the National Gallery, Central Library and Lobby Books.

Cost: varies. For more info: visit http:// openbookfestival.co.za

24 monday

Asara Pure Food Braai Market In honour of Heritage Day, there are several barbecues simultaneously on the go, including a traditional South African braai, a spitbraai, a fish braai, a wine-barrel braai and a wine-barrel smoker. On offer is an array of locally sourced fresh meats, artisan cheeses, freshly baked breads and organic produce. Relax to live music. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Asara Wine Estate. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit asara.co.za Free entry to all Iziko Museums Celebrate Heritage Day with free visits to 11 museums including the Castle of Good Hope and Planetarium – travel through space and experience the stars at the Iziko Planetarium. The young and the bold can help Morris Mouse with a problem that he has difficulty in solving. They can also join Davy Dragon as he travels through the Milky Way. Time: varies. Venue: all 11 Iziko museums. Cost: free. For more info: visit iziko.org.za The Annual Bosman Wine Release The 250-year-old cellar is transformed into a tasting journey of refined wines paired with delicious canapés.

Part of this tasting journey is a fascinating vine grafting display by the vine nursery, Lelienfontein Vine Growers. Apart from the wine tasting journey, guests 1 September – Gaia Waldorf School Spring Fayre are also treated to lunch under

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ancient oak trees on the estate’s verdant lawns. An area manned by trained crèche staff looks after the entertainment of smaller children to give parents time to relax and enjoy Heritage Day to the full. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: Bosman Wine Cellar, Wellington. Cost: R300, children free. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000

27 thursday Annual Bingo Evening There are prizes, including meal, hair and beauty vouchers and MP3 players. Time: 6pm–9:30pm.

Venue: Groote Schuur Primary School, Campground Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R5 per game. Contact Lynne: 083 699 6621 or lynne.meyer110@gmail.com

30 sunday Spur Lourensford MTB Classic This is the oldest fun ride on the Western Cape MTB calendar and remains one of the favourites. Also enjoy jumping castles, entertainment and food at the finish.

Appropriate age group: 0,5km, 1,5km and 3km for small children aged 10 and younger; 15km fun ride for children and novices; 27km fun ride for beginner riders; 38km challenge for intermediate, but fit riders; 57km challenge for advanced riders.

Time: 8am. Venue: Lourensford Estate, Somerset West. Cost: R60–R150. Contact Dirtopia: 021 884 4752, theteam@dirtopia. co.za or visit dirtopia.co.za

30 September – Spur Lourensford MTB Classic

FUN FOR CHILDREN art, culture and science CapeGators Kids Club plant a seed workshop Have your child join CapeGate’s free CapeGators Kids Club.

Activities include face painting, colouringin competitions, themed art and crafts, visits from the CapeGate aligator mascots and a different activity every month. This month’s activity is a plant a seed workshop.

Suitable for children 3–13 years old.

15 September. Time: 11am–12pm.

Venue: CapeGate Shopping Centre, cnr Okavango Rd and De Bron Rd, Kraaifontein. Cost: free. For more info: visit capegatecentre.co.za

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Registration opens on 1 September for the Santa Shoebox Project 2012

Craft workshops at Blue Route Mall The mall, in association with Kreative Kraftz, are running creative educational craft workshops. Workshop time slots of 30 minutes, one hour and two hours are available. No booking is needed. Time: 9am–5pm, on Saturdays, the crafts finish at 7pm. Venue: shop F172, first floor, Blue Route Mall. Cost: free. Contact: 021 713 2360 or visit blueroutemall.co.za Free two-hour introductory fabric painting workshop For adults and children. Holiday classes and children’s and adults’ parties also offered. 22 September.

Time: 8:45am–10:45am. Venue: Pinelands.

Cost: R30 per kit. Contact Wendy: 021 531 8076, 082 391 4954 or wendyadriaan@ telkomsa.net Get creative with your child for Santa Shoebox Project 2012 Parents are encouraged to once again involve their children in personally choosing and filling the gift boxes, and then decorating and labelling each with the recipient’s name. To participate in this heart-warming project, simply register online from 1 September where an easy step-by-step procedure guides you through the process.

The gift-wrapped Santa Shoeboxes need to be dropped off at central distribution points across the country between 24 and 31 October. Contact: info@santashoebox. co.za or visit santashoebox.co.za Children’s art classes Art coaching for the gifted child with ADD or ADHD. Suitable for children from 8 years old. Date arranged on booking. Time: on booking.

Venue: 10 Bronnies Way, Diep River. Cost: R90 per hour, materials included. Contact Leigh: 079 525 8991, leigh@justlove.co.za or visit justlove.co.za Mosaic Workshop for moms and children Join for a morning of creativity while learning the basic art of mosaic. For ages 8 and older. 29 September. Time: 8:30am–1pm. Venue: unit 2 Peter Park, cnr Montague Dr and Marconi Rd, Montague Gardens. Cost: R200 for moms and R70 for children, excluding materials. Contact: 021 552 4870, admin@mosaicworks.co.za or visit mosaicworks.co.za Speech and drama evening Pupils show off their acting talents. Suitable for children 5 years and older. 27 September.

Time: 7pm–8:30pm. Venue: tbc. Cost: R20.

Contact Liz: 021 559 8902, abeilleruche@ lantic.net or visit abeilleruche.co.za Sue Nepgen’s children’s art classes Children can still be signed up for term 3 and term 4. The programme includes painting on canvas with acrylics, textured collage on an environmental theme, creative colour etching as well as more drawing and painting techniques linked to personal themes. The emphasis is on fostering creativity, self-esteem and enjoyment of art, while learning techniques and a sense of aesthetics. For 4–13 year olds. Time: children from any school attend classes once a week in the afternoons or Saturday morning. Venue: Michael Oak Waldorf School, Kenilworth or 28 Klaasenbosch Dr, Constantia. Cost: R550 per term, including materials and firing. Pro-rata fees for late joiners. Contact Sue: 021 794 6609/4723, 083 237 7242 or snepgen@xsinet.co.za

classes, talks and workshops CPR Family and Friends A course for people with no prior medical knowledge, who want to learn life-saving skills. For children from age 10 and older. Time: 9am–12pm.

Venue: 1 September: Constantia Mediclinic; 15 September: Milnerton Mediclinic. Cost: R250. Contact Kathy: 021 705 6459, training@pec.co.za or visit pec.co.za Entrance exam for German International School for Grade 5 For current Grade 4 learners, who are not German speaking, who want to enrol with DSK. 15 September. Time: 10am–12:30pm.

Tots n Pots Southern Peninsula A fun-filled, hands-on cooking and baking workshop experience, dedicated to allowing moms, dads and grandparents some valuable time with their children, and creating a platform to educate children about healthy foods and eating habits. The workshops allow your child to be creative while having fun and learning a variety of skills. For 3–10 year olds. Time: 3pm–4pm, every Wednesday. Venue: Muizenberg. Cost: R70 per class or R280 per month or R560 per term. Discount for siblings or if you sign up for a term. Contact: 084 999 8068, susan@totsnpots.com or visit totsnpots.com

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Venue: German International School of Cape Town, 28 Bay View Ave, Tamboerskloof.

Cost: free. Contact: 021 480 3830, nsek@ dsk.co.za or visit dsk.co.za ER24 CPR and first aid course Time: 9am–3pm. Venue: 1 September: Milnerton Mediclinic; 25 August and 29 September: Cape Town Mediclinic; 25 August and 22 September: Panorama Mediclinic; 29 September: Louis Leipoldt Mediclinic, Bellville. Cost: R300, including a manual.

Certificate valid for two years. Enquire about the ER24 Level 1 First Aid Course: 20 and 21 August and Level 3 First Aid Course: 27–31 August. Contact Daniele: 074 337 0704 or daniele.milner@er24.co.za Kindermusik with Louise A great childhood development programme with music therapy and movement classes. For ages 0–7 years old. Enjoy a free preview class. Time and cost: call to enquire.

Venue: NG Church Bergsig, Boland Way, Vierlanden. Contact Louise: 074 102 5617 or lsteenkamp0@gmail.com Weekly djembe drumming workshop Drumkidz gets children drumming and singing to stories, songs and drumming games in an action-packed, high-energy workshop. Contact Helderberg region: 071 871 5839 or lana@drumkidz.co.za.

Northern suburbs: 071 685 5072 or jill@ drumkidz.co.za. Southern suburbs: 072 128 9708 or michelle@drumkidz.co.za. Table View: 079 161 3999 or melanie@drumkidz. co.za. For more info, visit drumkidz.co.za

family outings Asara Pure Food Braai Market 24 September. Time: 10am–3pm. Venue: Asara Wine Estate. Cost: free entry. For more info: visit asara.co.za Diabetes SA family camp For families who have children that have been diagnosed with diabetes in the last 18 months. Everyone will not only learn how to help their family member but also learn to live a healthier lifestyle. For families of 3–12-year-old diabetic children. 7–9 September. Time: starts at 4pm on Friday and ends at 2pm on Sunday. Venue: De Hollandsche Molen, a one-hour drive from Cape Town. Cost: adults and children 6–13 years R100; children 2–6 years R80. Contact Natasja: 021 425 4440 or capewc@diabetessa.co.za The annual Bosman Wine Release 24 September. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: Bosman Wine Cellar, Wellington. Cost: R300, children free. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000

finding nature and outdoor play Arbor Week walk in the winelands National Arbor Week is when South Africans of all ages are encouraged to appreciate the beauty and importance of trees. Vergelegen Estate showcases its historic trees as part of the national celebrations on a tour led by resident horticulturist Richard Arm. 1 September. Time: 9am–10:30am. Venue: Vergelegen Estate, Somerset West. Cost: R85 per person, which includes tea/coffee and a selection of cakes at the Stables Restaurant.

Contact: 021 847 1346/2156, stables@ vergelegen.co.za or visit vergelegen.co.za magazine cape town

Clean-Up South Africa Week interschool competition Plastics SA has announced the start of its annual CleanUp & Recycle Competition. Schools and organisations across South Africa taking part are encouraged to share the success of how they encouraged their fellow pupils, co-workers and local neighbourhoods to get rid of litter and start recycling where they live, play and learn. Schools and organisations have to ensure that they involve their teachers, fellow pupils, community members, municipality, local businesses and the media in their campaigns. To find out more about plastic recycling, identification and clean-ups, visit plasticsinfo.co.za or cleanup-sa.co.za or recyclingday-sa.co.za Table Mountain Kidz Season special Two children under 18 years ride free when an adult return ticket is purchased over weekends, public holidays and the September school holidays. Children receive a free treasure hunt map. Pick a clear day from now until 31 October and explore the picturesque landscape of this New Wonder of Nature. Time: 8am. Venue: lower cable station, Tafelberg Rd. Cost: R195 for an adult return ticket. Contact: 021 424 8181 or visit tablemountain.net West Coast National Park flower season is open The Postberg section of the park, which is closed to visitors for the rest of the year, is open to the public as they come in their thousands to see the veld covered in carpets of colour this month.

Ends 30 September. Time: 7am–6pm, Postberg section is open 9am–5pm. Venue: West Coast National Park. Cost: from R44, children up to the age of 12 pay halfprice. Contact: 022 772 2144, westcoast@ sanparks.org or visit sanparks.org

West Coast National Park flower season is open

holiday activities Blue Rock holiday camp Children learn knee-boarding, water skiing and wakeboarding, general life skills, rock jumping, foefie-sliding, swimming and play paintball. Package includes accommodation, three meals per day with snacks as well as 24-hour adult supervision. For children 8–16 years old. 30 September–4 October. Time: 5pm drop-off on Wednesday; 5pm pick-up on Sunday. Venue: Blue Rock, Somerset West. Cost: R2 299. Contact: 021 858 1330 or info@bluerock.co.za September 2012

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The Blue Bird Garage Market, every Friday

Kidz Discovery spring fun-factory holiday club For children 2–8 years old there is a fun-filled, semi-structured morning of art and crafts, baking, face painting, dress-up, role play, fairy garden, clambering on fun climbing walls and jungle gyms, crazy dancing, story time and more. Kidz Discovery programmes are tailored to specific ages: under 3s must be accompanied by an adult, the programme for 2–4 year olds is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Wednesdays and Fridays are special craft club days for 4–8 year olds and Mondays are for broader age groups.

The holiday workshop is 25 September– 4 October. Time: 9:30am–12:30pm, Monday–Friday. Venue: Kidz Discovery, The Drive, Camps Bay. Cost: R120 per morning including a full snack, baking

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and craft materials. Contact Kathy: 083 654 2494, info@kidzdiscovery.co.za or visit kidzdiscovery.co.za

markets Camphill Country Market The market has freshly baked breads, cheese from their dairy, garden-fresh organic veggies, clothing and bric-a-brac from the charity shop. The Camphill Coffee Bar sells home-baked cakes with coffee/tea, bacon and egg rolls and freshly made paninis.

There is a performance by the Camphill Marimba band. 2 September. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: Camphill Village, West Coast. From the N1 take the N7 towards Malmesbury; travel for approximately 35km. At the sign ‘Camphill Village’ turn left and drive another 4,5km;

they are on the left. Cost: free entry.

The Blue Bird Garage Market Set in Contact Lee: 021 571 8651 or info@ a beautiful old postal plane hangar on camphill.org.za the edge of an urban village, this space Gaia Waldorf School Spring Fayre is filled with a collection of local artisans, 1 September. Time: 11am–4pm. Venue: specialty cooks, bakers, producers and Oude Molen Eco Village. Cost: free entry. designers. Handpicked South African Contact: 021 447 0546 wines, craft beer, delicious food, live music Nitida Farmers Market On Friday from local artists and a wonderful creative evening there is ready-to-eat food, lots of children’s area all add to this inviting wine and live music. On Saturday morning market experience. Time: 4pm–10pm, get there early for your regular supply of every Friday. Venue: 39 Albertyn Rd, home-roasted coffee beans, freshly baked Muizenberg. Cost: free. For more info: bread and Italian delicacies. Time: 28 visit bluebirdmarket.co.za September, 5pm–9:30pm; 29 September, Tokai Earth Fair Market children’s 8am–12:30pm. Venue: Cassia Restaurant, activities 1 September: Spring bringNitida Wine Farm, M13/Old Tygervalley Rd, a-friend dress up and treasure hunt. 29 Durbanville. Cost: free. Contact: 083 651 September: Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. Time: 0699, getha@nitida.co.za or visit nitida.co.za 9am–2pm, Saturday. Venue: 333 Main Schoolyard Market Exciting new Rd, Retreat. Cost: free. For more info: visit products have made their way to the earthfairmarket.co.za Schoolyard Market such as Heart and Home gifts, bunting and children’s on stage and screen décor, mouth-watering shawarmas, a book Art of Rock 2 at Zip Zap Freshlyground shop, creative cards, a vintage stall and Raw and Zip Zap will be rocking the dome Honey products. Children can make their own cupcakes with the help of Crazy Cupcake Creations.

22 September. Time: 9am–1pm. Venue: Elkanah House, 85 Sunningdale Dr, Sunningdale. Cost: free entry. Contact: 021 554 8586, michellej@elkanah. co.za or visit elkanah.co.za Ben 10 Omniverse coming soon

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together. 14–16 September. Time: 7pm–9pm. Venue: Zip Zap, Founders Garden, Jan Smuts St. Cost: R150 for 4–12 year olds, R200 for adults. Contact: 021 421 8622, info@zip-zap.co.za or visit zip-zap.co.za Ben 10 Omniverse coming soon The allnew fourth series premieres on 6 October at 10am with a special one-hour screening of Ben 10 Omniverse’s episode one and two.

Catch the new series every Saturday at 10am with repeats on Saturdays at 4pm and the following Monday at 5pm. Viewers should also look out for the Ben 10 Omniverse’s two-minute “sneak peak” premiere on 27 September at 8pm. As a build up, episode of Ben 10 will be screened. On Cartoon Network, DStv channel 301. For more info: visit cartoonnetworkafrica.com Camps Bay Primary Senior Grade 6 and 7 class plays There is full tuck shop available. All primary school children welcome. 19 and 20 September. Time: 7pm. Venue: Camps Bay Primary School, Dunkeld Rd. Contact Belinda: 021 438 1503 Disney Friday night movie night Disney Channel broadcasts your favourite Disney films every Friday. September’s original movie is Lion King on 28 September.

The Friday movies show at 5pm on Disney Channel, DStv Channel 303 Shakespeare Schools Drama Festival Four schools are to perform 30-minute abridged versions of well-known Shakespeare plays. 1 September: Julius Caesar, Much

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Ado About Nothing, Macbeth and Twelfth Night. 2 September: A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Macbeth, The Taming of the Shrew and Twelfth Night. 10 September: Taming of the Shrew, The Tempest, Julius Caesar and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. 1, 2 and 10 September. Time: 7pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre (1 and 2 September) and the Little Theatre (10 September). Cost: R40 at Artscape Theatre; R40 at the Little Theatre.

For more info: visit ssfsa.co.za

1 sat

playtime and story time Open Book Festival 20–24 September.

Time: varies. Venue: several venues in the Fringe District, including The Fugard Theatre, District 6 Museum, the Homecoming Centre, the Townhouse Hotel, the Slave Lodge, the Iziko South African Museum, the National Gallery, Central Library and Lobby Books. Cost: varies. For more info: visit http://openbookfestival.co.za

sport and physical activities Family Yoga Classes Have fun as a family with yoga games, story-time yoga, affirmations and breathing games, just some of the elements you can expect in this family yoga class. For children from age 3 and their parents or other adult family members. 15 September. Time: 9:30am–10:14am. Venue: Yoga Way Studio, 9 Ohlsson Rd, Newlands.

Cost: R95 for a family of four. Contact Toni: 083 255 6752, toni@yisforyoga.co.za or visit http://yisforyoga.co.za

Entries open for 2013 Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour Entries for the 36th Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour open on 1 September. The Cycle Tour takes place on Sunday, 10 March 2013. To enter, visit cycletour.co.za and follow the easy instructions. For regular updates, follow them on Twitter @CycleTourTrust

Fun and games evening Enjoy an evening jam-packed with music, activities, gymnastics, a trampoline and other fun and games at the club. For 5–13 year olds. 7 September. Time: 7pm–10pm.

Venue: Gordon’s Gymnastics Club, 9 Hill Park Lane, Mowbray. Cost: R75 per child, supper included. Contact Lana: 021 686 9213 or info@gordonsct.co.za Lila Yoga and Pilates Studio classes 1 September: celebrate spring with yoga in the park. For children 4–12 years old.

Time: 10:30am–11:30am. 4 September: children’s yoga. For children 4–7 years old. Time: 3pm–3:45pm. Venue: Avirodha Yoga and Pilates Studio, Hout Bay. 8 and 22 September: yoga for adults and teenagers. Time: 9am–10am, and yoga for mom and/or dad and toddlers (2–4 years old). Time: 10:30am–11am Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. Contact: 083 377 9248

family marketplace

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19 September – A-Z of the Inca Trail with Wild Frontiers

only for parents classes, talks and workshops Abstract art in different media In a course over nine weeks, create your own piece of art under the supervision of a fine-arts teacher, and learn techniques to create a wonderful, personalised work. No experience needed. Minimum three people. Starts 6 September. Time 9:30am–12pm, every Thursday. Venue: ALAS Academy, Kommetjie Rd, Fish Hoek.

Cost: R800. Contact Amy: 021 782 6552, 084 244 5476, alasacademy@gmail.com or visit alasacademy.co.za A-Z of the Inca Trail with Wild Frontiers Allow the Wild Frontiers experts to share all you need to know about trekking the legendary Inca Trail. It includes discounted shopping and refreshments. 19 September. Time: 6:30pm–8pm. Venue: Cape Union Mart Adventure Centre, Canal Walk. Cost: free. For more info: visit capeunionmart.co.za/events Delicious And Divine four-week international cooking course Cook Italian, Indian, Moroccan or Asian with recipes to keep and take home and hopefully make with full confidence. Ideal group size is five people. Specific children’s cooking courses can be arranged. Time: 7pm–9pm, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Venue: Constantia or at your home – travel costs incurred. Cost: R100 per recipe for a two hour lesson. Contact Aisha: 021 794 1324, 076 129 9193 or aisha@bokhararugs.co.za Landscape oil painting workshop with Lesley Charnock Your only task each day is to capture the wheat fields, olive groves and vineyards during spring in Riebeek Kasteel. It’s a challenge, but utterly irresistible for artists. The workshop

is aimed at more experienced artists and is not for absolute beginners. Although you drive to various painting sites, you need to be fit, mobile and strong enough to carry and set up your own equipment en plein air. 9–13 September. Time: call to confirm departure time. Venue: Riebeek Kasteel.

Cost: R6 000, which includes tuition, all meals and accommodation in a choice of two charming guest houses. Contact Lesley: 082 424 1033 or lescharnock@telkomsa.net Leading and Developing Myself seminar In this two-module course the primary focus is on increasing EQ, developing self-awareness and effectively increasing one’s personal style of communication. You also receive a Contract SA certificate for the two-module course. Contract SA is a Seta-accredited service provider so your company can claim training levies back should they send you. 24 and 25 August (module one); 21 and 22 September (module two) Time: call to enquire. Venue: Woodstock Industrial Centre, Block B, 3rd floor, 66–68 Albert Rd, Woodstock. Cost: R1 600– R3 200 excluding VAT. Contact Judith: 021 409 7043 or info@contract-sa.co.za Montessori Teacher Training You can now register for 2013 enrolments.

Information session on 15 September. Time: 10:30am–12pm. Venue: Auburn House Montessori School, 3 Auburn Rd, Kenilworth.

Cost: free. Contact: info@montessorisa.co.za Teach Your Child How to Read lectures These sessions are for parents and educators, and are based on the world-renowned Montessori philosophy.

The lecture gives you concrete exercises to give your child a head start with reading, developing self-discipline and ultimately a love of learning. The focus is on children 3–9 years old. 25 August (lecture

13–16 September – National Ballet of Cuba

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Clos Malverne Spring Ice Cream and Wine Pairings This family-run wine estate’s new spring ice cream and wine combinations promise to enliven hibernating palates. Combinations include Snow Pea, Mint and Lime ice cream matched with the estate’s Sauvignon Blanc and Gooseberry and Macadamia nut ice cream paired with the lightly wooded Clos Malverne Chardonnay.

The estate’s popular coffee-style pinotage, Le Café, is matched with a scoop of Carrot Cake ice cream and Clos Malverne Pinotage Reserve with Lavender and Honey ice cream. Starts 1 September. Time: 10am–4pm, Tuesday–Saturday.

Venue: Clos Malverne, Devon Valley Rd, Stellenbosch. Cost: R55, which includes four pairings. Contact: 021 865 2022 or visit closmalverne.co.za

1) and 1 September (lecture 2). Time: 9:30am–12pm. Venue: ELF Montessori Teacher Training, Main Rd, Mowbray. Cost: R200 per lecture. Contact Claire: 021 685 8119 or elfsecretary@gmail.com Teach Your Child Independence lecture This lecture gives you concrete exercises to give your child a head start to develop self-discipline and ultimately a love of learning. The focus is on children 3–9 years old, for parents and educators, and it is based on the world-renowned Montessori philosophy. 15 September.

Time: 9:30am–12pm. Venue: ELF Montessori Teacher Training, Main Rd, Mowbray. Cost: R200 per lecture. Contact Claire: 021 685 8119 or elfsecretary@ gmail.com The Power of Purpose A course for parents, au pairs and teachers that invigorates your parenting and caregiving, bringing balance, harmony and inspiration into the fold. It teaches you skills that help you to be focused, present and enjoy your parenting, and even in your work life. 18 September– 16 October. Time: 6:30pm–9:30pm, every Tuesday. Venue: Constellation House, 5 Oakvale Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R2 200, R1 950 early-bird special if you register and pay deposit by 4 September. Contact Mandy: 084 200 9700 or mandy. freedom44@gmail.com Training in Rave-O Training for small groups in reading intervention that targets serious challenges. The programme teaches every aspect of a word, making connections between sounds, word parts, multiple meanings, grammar and spelling patterns.

17–19 September. Time: 8:30am–4pm.

Venue: Oakley House, Plumstead. Cost: R2 500. Contact: 021 762 7204 or visit oakleyhouse.co.za

on stage and screen Nando’s Cape Town Comedy Festival This year’s festival brings together seven of the hottest international and local comedy acts. 3–9 September. Time: 8pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: R180–R220. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 magazine cape town

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National Ballet of Cuba One of the world’s great ballet companies captures highlights from Swan Lake, The Sleeping Beauty, The Nutcracker and other classics.

13–16 September. Time: 8pm. Venue: Artscape Theatre. Cost: R90–R300. Contact Artscape Dial-A-Seat: 021 421 7695

out and about Barleycorn Music Mondays The club is run by a group of unpaid volunteers and has played a defining role in the careers of artists such as David Kramer, Flat Stanley, Amapondo, Freshlyground, Steve Newman and Tony Cox, to name a few. They usually showcase four acts per evening. Time: 8pm, every Monday. Venue: Villagers Football Club, 11 Lansdowne Rd, Claremont. Cost: R20 for members and R30 for non-members. For more info: visit barleycorn.org.za Cellar2Cellar Trail Run and Wine Experience Lace up those trainers and join the colourful brigade of wine lovers among the vineyards for a trail run. Those who swap their usual running gear for fancy dress costumes can “win their weight in wine”, and the top prizes awarded are for the most spectacularly dressed male and female entrants. 8 September. Time: 12km and 20km trail runs start at 8am.

The fun Wine Experience starts at 8:30am with a staggered start every 10 minutes until 10am. Venue: Blaauwklippen Wine Estate, Stellenbosch. Cost: R285 for the trail run and wine experience; R120 for 12km trail run; R160 for 20km trail run.

For more info: visit cellar2cellar.co.za or enteronline.co.za Mystery Ghost Bus tour The tour includes pub and grub stops, ghost stories, poltergeists, graveyards and more.

8 September. Time: 7pm–midnight. Cost: R295. Book through Computicket: 0861 915 8000 or visit mysteryghostbus.co.za Old Cape Wine Shop tastings The tastings take place every Saturday. Time: 11am–2pm. Venue: Old Cape Wine Shop, Imhoff Farm. Cost: free. Contact: 021 783 5054 or info@ocws.co.za September 2012

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calendar

support groups ADHD Awareness Ribbon Challenge In recognition of ADHD awareness day on 14 September, challenge a school of your choice in a friendly competition to see who can sell the most ribbons. Ribbons are R5 each. Proceeds go towards providing support and awareness of ADHD. For more info: visit adhdsupport.co.za LGBTI Parents For gay and lesbian parents or parents-to-be. There are regular meetings between LGBTI parents to exchange ideas and experiences. Contact Heather at the Triangle Project: 021 448 3812, health2@triangle.org.za or visit triangle.org.za The South African Divorce Support Association SADSA supports a childcentered approach to help divorcing/ separating parents by assisting you in working together to develop a custody plan and improving your ability to co-parent. For more info: visit sadsa.net The South African Inherited Disorders Association (SAIDA) An umbrella organisation for support groups of most inherited disorders. SAIDA is also actively involved in promoting the understanding of and education about inherited disorders.

For more info: visit saida.org.za

bump, baby & Tot in tow

classes, talks and workshops Babyproof Your Relationship workshop The course makes you aware of the stumbling blocks a relationship can face and helps you to communicate about these issues in an appropriate way, and before a baby arrives. 22 and 29 September. Time: 9am–12:30pm. Venue: southern suburbs.

Cost: R1 290 per couple. Contact Catrin: 071 334 5627, catrin@head-start.co.za or visit head-start.co.za Home birth gathering This gathering is open to those who have given birth at home, for those who have wanted home births and for those who are planning a home birth. Midwives, partners and doulas are welcome. There is a guest speaker, a short film and an opportunity for discussion. Refreshments are served.

9 September. Time: 2pm–4pm. Venue: Erin Hall, Erin Rd, Rondebosch. Cost: R60 per person, R100 for two. Contact Ruth: ruth@ homebirth.org.za or Lana: doulalana@ vodamail.co.za or visit homebirth.org.za Johnson’s Baby Sense Seminar For pregnant women and parents with children up to 18 months. Time: 8am–5:30pm.

Venue: Westin Grand Hotel. Cost: R120 per session for a workshop or R260 per session for the seminar. Contact: 021 461 4669, babysense@go4word.co.za or visit babysense.com Moms and Babes Claremont classes Join these mom-and-baby stimulation classes for 2–12 month olds. Your baby’s class is age dependent. Time: 10am and 3pm, Monday–Thursday. Venue: 36 Water St, Claremont. Cost: call to enquire. Contact Di: 021 671 8690 or 082 746 3223 Parent Centre for moms-to-be and moms-and-babies group Join their Facebook page: Thursday Moms Group.

Time: 10am–12pm, every Thursday.

Venue: Kingsbury Maternity Hospital, 2nd floor maternity section, Wilderness Rd, Claremont. Cost: R40, including refreshments. Contact: 021 762 0116 or zaiboe@theparentcentre.org.za Yoga for moms-to-be 6, 13, 20 and 27 September. Time: 5:30pm–6:30pm. Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. Cost: call to enquire. Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248 Yoga for parents and toddlers For children 2–4 years old. 8 and 22 September.

Time: 10:30am–11am. Venue: Lila Yoga Studio, 201 Bree St. Cost: call to enquire.

Contact Nicole: 083 377 9248

playtime and story time Baby and toddler music and movement classes Small classes combine singing, movement and rhythm using percussion instruments. For children 6–18 months (Wrigglers) and 18 months–3 years (Rhymers). Time: 9am for 6–18 months and 10:30am for 18 months–3 years. Venues: Bergvliet, Claremont, Fish Hoek, Sun Valley and Wynberg. Cost: R430 per term plus a once-off joining fee. Contact Kirsty: 079 740 4561, info@wriggleandrhyme.co.za or visit wriggleandrhyme.co.za

PinkDrive Schools Schools can get involved by raising funds through a Civvies Day, cake sale and other initiatives. Should a school raise R5 000, the PinkDrive team and Pink truck will go to their school and educate them all about breast cancer awareness. If over R10 000 is raised, PinkDrive will go to that school and an underprivileged school of their choice to educate them on the subject. From funds raised, a mobile unit will be created to take education and awareness to as many schools as possible.

For more info: visit pinkdrive.co.za

Sea Point Library story time For preschoolers and younger. Time: 10am– 11am, every Wednesday. Venue: Glengarriff Rd. Cost: free. Contact: 021 439 7440/1

support groups Cleft Friends A network of support for parents with babies born with cleft lips and palates. For support groups in your area, contact Helena: 0861 A SMILE (276 453), 082 393 1206, helen@cleftfriends.co.za or visit cleftfriends.co.za La Leche League’s breast-feeding support groups Pregnant and nursing mothers are welcome to attend. Time: 10am, unless otherwise stated. Cost: free.

Panorama: 3 September. Contact Carol: 021 558 5319. Durbanville: 18 September.

Contact Trudy: 021 913 2816 or Tiffany: 021 913 3586. Parow: 19 September.

Contact Dilshaad: 021 930 2475. Milnerton Mediclinic: 4 September at 9:30am. Contact Juliet: 021 556 0693. Parklands Intercare: 26 September. Contact Simela: 021 553 1664.

Paarl: 4 September. Contact Jonette: 021 872 5297. Rondebosch: 11 September.

Contact Becky: 021 531 2485. Fish Hoek: 4 September. Contact Tammy: 021 782 9240.

Stellenbosch: 11 September. Contact Olga: 082 062 0206 or Francia: 082 940 9685.

Malmesbury (for telephone help). Contact Selma: 083 265 5458. Napier (for telephone help). Contact Emma: 082 696 3584 Postnatal Depression Support Association The organisation offers help for moms and their families. You can also

join the chat group. Contact the national helpline: sms “help” and your name to 082 882 0072 for them to contact you. Contact: 021 797 4498 or visit pndsa.org.za

how to help Calling all teachers Local children’s home Heaven’s Nest requires volunteer teachers to assist children in need with remedial education. Heaven’s Nest is an emergency foster home, for children under the age of eight who have been abused, abandoned, neglected or are affected by HIV/Aids. The home hopes to ease the children’s transition into schools through their on-site classroom. Contact Eleanor: 021 703 9781, onheavensnest@telkomsa. net or visit heavensnest.org.za National Cupcake Day This event aims to raise awareness and funds for children suffering with cancer. You can help by baking cupcakes or by volunteering on the day at the participating malls across the country. 29 September. Time: from 8am. Venue: Canal Walk. Cost: R10 donation. Contact Sandy: 073 208 6757, sandy@cupcakesofhope.org or visit cupcakesofhope.org PINC This group is in desperate need of new bras, panties and toiletries for girls and boys from two year olds to teenagers. Such donations can be collected from all schools.

Contact Lisa: 073 953 6771 or lisa@smartart.za.net

don’t miss out!

For a free listing, email your event to lucille@childmag.co.za or fax it to 021 462 2680. Information must be received by 31 August 2012 for the October issue, and must include all relevant details. No guarantee can be given that it will be published. To post an event online, visit childmag.co.za 8 and 22 September – Yoga for parents and toddlers

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it’s party time For more help planning your child’s party visit

childmag.co.za/resources/birthday-parties

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party time continued...

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finishing touch

between lycra and lace ANÉL LEWIS never strived for an Olympic gold medal, in any sport, but she’ll put on a good show to get fit.

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self into what I thought was a pair of Lycra shorts and survived the 60-minute class without passing out.

As I walked out of the studio, flushed with exertion and pride, a gym instructor tapped me on the shoulder saying, “Erm... you do know that you have a hole in your pants.”

It turns out, in the semi-dark, I had donned a pair of my husband’s old cycle pants, which he had discarded because they were torn. And there was not just one little hole, but a lattice of threads holding the pants together, giving new meaning to the term “broekie lace”.

Yes, I had spent an entire hour with my derrière in the air, exposing my undies to the hapless spinners behind me. And of course, in my eagerness to get back on the bike, so to speak, I had positioned myself right at the front of the class.

After that disastrous reintroduction to physical activity, it was with some

trepidation that I recently found myself at the starting line of a 5km race.

I am not a natural born runner. I really believe that if man was meant to run from Pietermaritzburg to Durban, economy airlines would not have been invented. But I’m tired of hearing friends wax lyrical about the joys of running, and I’ve been too embarrassed to venture back into that spinning class.

Within a few seconds of the start, I was ready to head home. “Has it been 1km yet?” I wailed, as we took the first corner. By the second kilometre mark, I was almost in tears. It was raining, I was being passed by 10-year-olds running in their coats and winter boots and I couldn’t feel my thighs. Then we caught up with a mother-and-son team. They were laughing as they struggled up the hills. When he faltered, I heard her setting him small goals.

“Just run to the end of this street and then we can walk.” When he succeeded, they high-fived each other. She was always

Erin, Anél and Conor

encouraging and although he looked tired, it was apparent that he was motivated to cross the finish line. Beaming, they held hands when they reached the end.

I realised then that it’s that kind of sportsmanship that I want to teach my children. So, with spring in the air, I’m going to lace up my tekkies and head outdoors with the family for some fun exercise. But first, I’m going to buy myself new cycling pants.

Anél Lewis is Child magazine’s features editor. She’s back at work after a wonderful, but busy, four months on maternity leave.

Follow her on Twitter: @LewisAnel

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PHOTOGRAPH: STEPHANIE VELDMAN

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’ve never been the sporty type. I managed a bit of netball in junior school and I dragged myself out of bed for 6am swimming training in high school – but it was just for one term and I only did it because I wanted to lose weight for a school dance.

A brief flirtation with tennis came to an abrupt end when my mother packed away my racket over the December holidays, to keep it safe. Unfortunately, she forgot that she had stored it, and when the term resumed my racket was nowhere to be found. I still reckon I could have given Serena Williams a run for her money.

Anyway, it’s too late to reprise my tennis skills. But, after the birth of my second baby, I’ve decided it’s time to improve my fitness.

It started off well enough. I managed to get someone to watch the children so I could hit the gym for a spinning class, at some ungodly hour. I squeezed my flabby