women walking by faith
Knowing Your Numbers
Health, Wellness and Stress...
Summer Eats At it's Best In Summertime, Health and Well
The Invasion of the Body Snatchers
04 Editor's Note 11 15 19 23
CONTENTS 04
EDITOR'S NOTE You Can Make It
06
09
SOARING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR LIFEÂ
Creating is a MUST for the SUCCESS of Your Life and Business
11
IT'S A WOMAN'S WORLD
SURVIVING LOSS
The Pleasures of India
A conversation with Vernessa Blackwell, Grief Strategist about how to handle loss, especially during the holidays.
EDITOR'S NOTE Hello, Beautiful People., we have made it to another year. I don't know about you but 2017 was a tough year for many people. I can only speak for myself, I am glad it is over and that I made it to 2018 in one piece. Our world has been overtaken with so much chaos from the white house and I can even say to my house. The common denominator in all of it is the human race. What happened to the respect for human life regardless of race, color, creed, socioeconomic status etc.? What happened to the love of human life? What happened to mutual respect between men and women? What happened to respect for one's elders? It seems that people feel that that can do and say whatever they want without any kind of consequence, especially those in leadership in any sector. During 2017 there was so much personal loss, that Real Life Real Faith Women Walking by Faith decided to address the issues of loss. Experiencing, Coping and Surviving Loss with our interview with Grief Strategist Vernessa Blackwell. Vernessa helps us to see that as difficult as it may be to suffer a loss we can survive it but we must confront it first. Just know that no matter what if you seek ye first the Kingdom of God you will make it. Keep your head up 2018 is the year of NEW BEGINNINGS and Fresh Starts. Just Go for It!
Cee Cee H. Caldwell Senior Managing Editor Real Life Real Faith Women Walking by Faith
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IT'S A WOMAN'S WORLD The Pleasures of India .
Mary S. Newman
If you want to enjoy life's pleasures, make sure that you plan for traveling to India as soon as possible. Some people love to travel and if you're one of them, you should not forget to include India in your travel destinations. You can find fascinating travel locations that you can visit alone or you can join the tours given by the different travel agencies. India is an incredible combination of modernity and tradition. No matter what you're desires in traveling, it will surely be fulfilled in India. This country is also among the leading tourist destinations all over the world. In fact, millions of people visit India every year and after their tours, they are able to carry sweet memories that can last a lifetime.
WOMEN WALKING BY FAITH MAGAZINE Â | Â 6
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What attracts many tourists to travel to India? You see, there are many beautiful and attractive places that you can visit in the different regions of India. The hearts of the many visitors are captured as they see the full range of India's captivating tourist spots. They get ultimate pleasures in all of their trips in the locals. You too can see all the tourist places that include beaches, mountains, wildlife, hill stations, sports and adventure, heritage sites, deserts, pilgrim sites, palaces, and monuments. One tour alone will already tell you why so many tourists visit India each year. Each tourist spot you visit can give you a different experience, as well as pleasure. You'll never get disappointed and that is a fact. New attractions are out there waiting for you. You can visit Kashmir, Goa, Kerala, Rajasthan, Uttaranchal, Himachal Pradesh, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Delhi, and many other places. What can you expect from these locations? You can see things of spectacular beauty, breathtaking beaches, and intricate monuments, palm-dotted beaches, magnificent forts, exotic culture, palatial palaces, churches, and gardens. If you don’t believe any of these things, surf the net and visit India's official site. Check out their tourism and you will be astonished to find out that all these things are real. Take it from the previous visitors of India; you're going to get the grandest vacation ever if you plan your next trip to India. Planning for a trip to India is not that hard. You can easily contact a travel agency that can guide you in your trip. There are several travel agencies in India, so make sure that you choose a reputable one and that has been in service for quite some time now. Ask for the travel package that suits your needs. There are expensive packages as well as cheap ones; so you decide which is best suited for you. The budget is another thing to consider because traveling to a foreign country can get very expensive. If you want, you can also go there without trying to contact any travel agency. But you must gather all important information about India; it's easy to get lost. Have a map. As long as you know how to read and you know how to get along with different types of individual, you'll be alright. It's really all up to you; book with a travel agency or travel there alone. Any option you choose is surely for the best of your travel experience. Plan your travel to India ahead of time so that you can enjoy all of life's pleasures.
Beyond The Beauty Box
Yolanda Matthews-Porter .
After She’s Gone: Grieving Grandma
The holiday season is here and it can be a stressful time of year. Some people are dealing with unhappiness, sadness, stress over shopping and attending festive parties, job insecurity, unpredictable weather, and loneliness. For me personally, the big one is missing my grandmother. My grandmother passed in September of 2017, and despite the beautiful memories of her life, at times I truly feel like all hope is gone. Though I’m suffering from sadness and grief, here are a few ways I’ve managed to cope:
Prayer Asking our Father for strength daily
Tears I have to let it out sometimes just to feel better
Reading the Bread of Life Sometimes I just have to be reminded that His plans are not my own
Relax and unwind Book a Spa Day
Spending time with family and connecting with friends for support Sincere connections with the ones you love can be comforting
Journaling Find time to write down your thoughts
Spiritual Support Reach out to your ministry leaders for prayer and support
So for today, think of the good times, pray and be comforted in his arms.
Yolanda Matthews-Porter Licensed Cosmetologist/MUA Connect with her@beyondthebeautybox@gmail.com or www.facebook.com/beautythebeautybox
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Soaring in Your Relationship and Your Life
Creating is a MUST for the SUCCESS of Your Life and Business BY RHONDA
A.
BOLDEN
Hello RICH Queens and Kings,
rotect our Peace because without it, you cannot Create (this is why most Writers go to the
Many things on this marvelous journey called LIFE,
mountains or silence to write their books more
will try to distrACT, derail or hinder our progress
freely and easily).
and CREATIVITY, but we must stay centered and
You must Soar and Ignore negative people and stay
focused on:
focused. When stress, problems, temporary lack
“Where we're 'Going TO' and not what we're Going
and wrong Relation-SHIPS affect us, the trick of
through; for
the enemy is to STOP you from "PRODUCING
our 'TO' will be much better than our 'through'.”
Fruit, INCREASING, MULTIPLYING, SUBDUING the Land and TAKING DOMINION" as God commanded
.
in Genesis 1:26-28. Also Jesus said in
I have come to understand this great Dynamic in a
John 15:8 NLT Producing Fruit identifies you as his
quote God gave me:
True disciple and it brings Him great Glory!
"When Negativity is flowing, Creativity STOPS; but
CREATIVITY is the actual Breath of God inside of
When Creativity is flowing, Negativity Can’t Live!"
you and is one of the best unlimited Gifts God has given to mankind on the face of the earth!
So this is why we must protect our environment
Creativity only comes from our Father God the
because God's Creative Anointing can't flow freely
CREATOR, so if you want more of it, you must
with the wrong mindset, wrong people around us
spend more time with Him in the Silence, so it
or the wrong environment. We must Block out
flows to and through you!
people’s opinions and negative thoughts and p
-not feeling appreciated or valued -feeling stuck instead of enjoying a few “Be Still and KNOW” Moments to reflect, be refreshed, relax and to refuel (on more "Premium Unleaded Gas for our INNER Rolls Royce") -trying to please everyone and on and on.... When GOD breathed The BREATH of Life in man and woman and made them a Living Soul, He endowed and empowered us with Greatness, Creativity, Inventions, Divine Ideas, Books, Songs, Businesses...and etc! I want to encourage you to begin to receive these truths never again let anyone or anything distract or discourage you ever again! "Create While You Wait for Your Mate, and if you already have a Mate - still Create; for CREATIVITY is a Form of Intimacy with God and it will Enhance Your Business and Your LIFE!" RICH Queens and Kings, CREATIVITY is truly a massive divine force to be reckoned with that the animals do not have, so be thankful and do not let it go to waste. Remember GOD Breathed His Breath of Life into You (Genesis 2:7) not the animals, and Jesus Breathed On Us (John 20:22) so What else do you need! Now begin to use IT (His Breath) to the fullest to TAKE DOMINION! This is your Time, This is your Season and It is your Turn - Now SOAR like never before. BREAK OUTTTTT and Surprise yourself!!! smile
Rhonda “The INNERgizer”
• A CONVERSATION WITH GRIEF STRATEGIST AND JOY RESTORATION COACH •
THE CHOCOLATIER
VERNESSA BLACKWELL
WWBF: Who is Vernessa Blackwell?
VB: Vernessa Blackwell is a nationally recognized and sought after author, motivational speaker, Certified Grief and Joy Restoration Coach. She is known as the Grief Strategist, a successful business owner, and a grief advocate. More importantly, Vernessa is a mother and grandmother with a message of hope, inspiration and encourages people to find their voice and use life’s setbacks, challenges, and tragedies to rebuild their own lives. Vernessa believes life’s inevitable pains are an opportunity to pause, regain power and reinvent ourselves – not only surviving but thriving right where you are in life through God's love.
WWBF: Why Are You Here?
VB: Vernessa believes life’s inevitable pains are an opportunity to pause, regain power and reinvent ourselves – not only surviving but thriving right where you are in life through God's love.
WWBF: What is a Certified Grief Support and Joy Restoration coach?
VB: Grief coaching (we call it Joy Restoration coaching) from a biblical worldview is the most empowering coaching available to help others move from the depths of their lossrelated sorrow to a newfound life of daily joy.
WWBF: What education is needed?
VB: I have an MBA from Strayer University and three coaching, my coach certification for Joy Restoration and Grief Recovery is from the Christian Coach Training Certification PCCCA Professional Biblical Studies with Dr Barbara Bush.
WWBF: Why did you choose this path?
VB: The loss of both parents and all her siblings, to include three sisters and a brother, sparked her purposeful journey into coaching.
WWBF: Have you had experiences in your life that pushed you to pursue this specialty?
VB: Yes I have had to deal with a lot of grief and loss my Mom had 12 brothers and sisters they all have passed away except 1. Both sets of grandparents maternal and paternal have passed on as well.
WWBF: What have you learned about yourself since becoming a Certified Grief Support and Joy Restoration coach?
VB: I learned to focus on developing an understanding and acceptance of the grief process from a biblical point of view. It taught me to "lean into the grief", instead of avoiding and numbing the emotions related to the grief process. The journey of grief is easier when you don't have to go it alone. I also learned to Be grateful and count my blessings. This was powerful as well as empowering.
WWBF: You are known as “The Grief Strategist”, where did that title originate and why?
VB: I was coaching a couple (Brian and Lacy) in the loss of their son. They said they appreciated the strategies I provided them to cope and deal with the emotions caused by grief. I coach many to create a gratitude journal we develop strategies in the healing process. When the chips are down, it can be very difficult to have your eyes open to the goodness that manifests daily, because you are getting sucked into the negativity.
WWBF: Have you endured any obstacles on your journey toward becoming a Certified Grief Support and Joy Restoration Coach? How did you overcome them?
VB: For 4 years from 2007-2011, I used a pen and paper and later my laptop to write down every pain, struggle, and milestone that I encountered after the worst day of my life. Losing Facing a crossroad in life with depression and destruction versus using her pain and regaining power she chose to live in a way that would honor her loved one's memories and give glory to God.
By turning my mess into my message, I never imagined I would become an International Published Author/Speaker/Grief and Empowerment Coach writing and delivering a powerful message on Restoring Joy, overcoming tragedy, grief recovery, making your mess your message and learning to live a life with passion and purpose. It is a message I learned from my own life and one that she uses to help others apply to their own lives. I understand pain. I understand the need to reframe and reclaim herself when life tosses her a devastating blow. Fortunately, as an author and speaker, I have the passion to tell her story and share the tools I used to not only survive but thrive and adjust to a life she now lives with passion and purpose. The deaths of my last sibling Alicia really hit me hard, Lish was my youngest sister she and I were very close. I felt so alone. I started journaling about my journey which turned into my Course and Products.
WWBF: Do you only deal with the loss of loved ones or the various types of loss women experience in life?
VB: No, If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a pet, divorce, health, end of a relationship, or any other type of loss, I will guide you through the process of moving past this loss (this DOES NOT mean you will forget anybody nor will be asked to or condone any wrongs). Through our time together you will learn how to go restore joy, go back to a fulfilling, happy life, without feeling the pain from your loss or having it affect your everyday life.
Some Examples of Grief: Death (including unborn child or stillborn) Death of a pet Divorce Retirement Moving Job loss Financial change (increase or decrease in wealth)
The Grief Helpine
Loss of health (includes being diagnosed with an illness) Loss of Faith Loss of Fertility Legal Problems Empty Nest (Children moving out of the house) End of Addiction Starting School Loss of Trust Loss of Safety Loss of Control
There are many types of losses we are forced to cope with and above are just a few. They are different one from another, yet each one can cause devastating pain and keep us from focusing,
working effectively and relating properly. The pain of loss can cause us to react in unproductive and unhealthy ways, unless we deliberately choose a more productive path.
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WWBF: I see you authored a couple of books called The Grief Helpline: Restoring Your Joy After Experiencing a Personal Loss and a Companion workbook. Tell us about them?
The road to recovery after the loss of a loved one can seem hopeless and endless. As no stranger to tragedy, author Vernessa Blackwell understands the paralyzing effects that can be caused by the deaths of loved ones, especially when you feel there is nowhere or no one to turn to. In The Grief Helpline, Blackwell opens up about the many devastating losses she’s experienced and how she was able to heal and eventually find joy where she didn’t think possible. With this devotional, Blackwell inspires your journey to grief recovery and joy restoration with daily thoughts, verses, prayers, and challenges, as she walks you through the five stages of grief: shock and denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. A place of healing may seem unreachable at times, but if you speak to God and learn to face your grief, you will restore your happiness, piece by piece. The Grief Helpline is a Companion to my workbook. This workbook was written as a companion to the Grief Helpline for the very purpose of helping people to heal after a loss. Loss is a common reality for everyone. Grief is the common result. Learning how to recover from loss can be one of the most difficult issues a person will ever face. Grief floods us with emotions and questions that demand to be answered. But, few of us are ever taught how to heal and truly live again. This workbook guides the reader along by discussing the thoughts and feelings experienced immediately following a loss, and how to get to the other side of Grief. Take time each day and complete these exercises to learn more about how to live with grief. Also, be sure to write in your reflections at the end of each week. It is designed to be used as a tool in the healing process. By reading, meditating, and journaling on the subjects contained within, the reader can journey along the path one day at a time, to a new, joy-filled life. While there are several books and programs that relate to grief, this workbook is unique.
WWBF: How has the journey been for you?
This journey would not have been possible without the support of my family, professors and mentors, and friends. To my daughters, Kema and Kia, thank you for encouraging me in all of my pursuits and inspiring me to follow my dreams. I am especially grateful to my parents, who supported me emotionally and financially. I always knew that you believed in me and wanted the best for me. Thank you for teaching me that my job in life was to learn, to be happy, and to know and understand myself; only then could I know and understand others. Thank you to my mother, Mary Blackwell, for guiding me as a person. In memory of my Mom, Dad and Siblings, Hazel, Cheetah, Gary, and Lish.
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WWBF: What advice would you give people who are grieving any type of loss, especially during the holiday season?
“Holidays are time spent with loved ones” was imprinted on our psyche from a young age. Holidays mark the passage of time in our lives. They are part of the milestones we share with each other and they generally represent time spent with family. They bring meaning to certain days and we bring much meaning back to them. But since holidays are for being with those we love the most, how on earth can anyone be expected to cope with them when a loved one has died? For many people, this is the hardest part of grieving, when we miss our loved ones even more than usual. How can you celebrate togetherness when there is none? When you have lost someone special, your world loses its celebratory qualities. Holidays only magnify the loss. The sadness feels sadder and the loneliness goes deeper. The need for support may be the greatest during the holidays. Pretending you don’t hurt and or it is not a harder time of the year is just not the truth for you. If it wasn’t harder you probably wouldn’t be here. You can and will get through the holidays. There are a number of ways to incorporate your loved one and your loss into the holidays. “Holidays are time spent with loved ones” was imprinted on our psyche from a young age. Holidays mark the passage of time in our lives. They are part of the milestones we share with each other and they generally represent time spent with family. They bring meaning to certain days and we bring much meaning back to them. But since holidays are for being with those we love the most, how on earth can anyone be expected to cope with them when a loved one has died? For many people, this is the hardest part of grieving, when we miss our loved ones even more than usual. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, New Years These are the biggest and usually most challenging of all. You can and will get through the Holidays. Rather than avoiding the feelings of grief, lean into them. It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain. Grief is our internal feelings and mourning is our external expressions.
Ways to externalize the loss – give it a time and a place • A prayer before the Holiday dinner, about your loved one. • Light a candle for your loved one. • Create an online tribute for them. • Share a favorite story about your loved one. • Have everyone tell a funny story about your loved one. • At your place of worship remember them in a prayer. • Chat online about them.
SURVIVING LOSS
C H A R L E S
M .
S C H U L Z
COPING WITH LOSS Ways to Cope Have a Plan A/Plan B – Plan A is you go to the Thanksgiving, Christmas Day or Christmas Eve dinner with family and friends. If it doesn’t feel right, have your plan B ready. Plan B may be a movie you both liked or a photo album to look through or a special place you went to together. Many people find that when they have Plan B in place, just knowing it is there is enough. Cancel the Holiday all together. Yes, you can cancel the Holiday. If you are going through the motions and feeling nothing, cancel them. Take a year off. They will come around again. For others, staying involved with the Holidays is a symbol of life continuing. Let the Holiday routine give you a framework during these tough times.Try the Holidays in a new way. Grief has a unique way of giving us the permission to really evaluate what parts of the Holidays you enjoy and what parts you don’t. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to handle the Holidays in grief. You have to decide what is right for you and do it. You have every right to change your mind, even a few times. Friends and family members may not have a clue how to help you through the Holidays and you may not either.
It is very natural to feel you may never enjoy the Holidays again. They will certainly never be the same as they were. However, in time, most people are able to find meaning again in the traditions as a new form of the Holiday Spirit grows inside of them. Even without grief, our friends and relatives often think they know how our Holidays should look, what “the family” should and shouldn’t do.
WWBF: Can people truly heal from loss?
VB: Yes, What you believe creates your reality, and believing the worst of everything is ironically the easiest thing to do in this crazy world where madness is the most sense we can make of some tragedies. If we believe a thing to be true, we will find all kinds of evidence that backs it up and neglect noticing evidence against it. Such a powerful notion. Changing what we believe about ourselves, life and others is the first and most profound step to changing how we heal from a loss.
WWBF: How do you suggest they start the healing process and begin to restore the joy in their lives?
VB: When faced are thrust into a frightening and unsettling world. Here are a few C H A R with L Ea Sloss, Myou . S Csuddenly H U L Z helpful ways you could use to cope with loss and grief. Take baby steps to overcoming the loss.
Firstly, take it one hour at a time or one day at a time. Don’t rush your whole healing process. Time will slowly heal your wound. All you have to do is just give yourself some time. Secondly, remember to get enough sleep. The loss of a loved one is difficult. Don’t stay up late at night because you were mourning. Make sure you go to bed by say 11. You need to take care of your body too. Thirdly, try and maintain your normal routine. Try to go through your day and maintain your normal routine. It is not that you are burying the past behind you. You are just trying to get back into the swing things. Slowly adjust yourself to it instead of rushing yourself into it. Fourthly, remember to eat a well-balanced diet. Do not start eating junk food. It is okay to indulge in it just for the sake of comfort but don’t make it an addiction. Limit high calorie and junk food. Fill your kitchen up with fruits and drink plenty of water. Fifthly, do not start using alcohol, medications or other drugs as a coping mechanism. There are healthier alternatives for you to cope with your pain. Using alcohol, medications or drugs will not take away your pain. They will only give you a momentary relief but will never bring your loved on back. Sixth, talk to others who have gone through the same experience. There are counseling groups for these at centers. Lastly, remember all the coping skills that you have used in the past to survive. Draw upon your inner strength again to help you get through this. WWBF : You created the Essential Grief Relief Kit, What is it and Where can be purchased? The "Essential Grief Relief Kit!", our comprehensive and personal Kit for Grief Recovery. Here you will learn: • Good, solid information on how the grief "process" really works. • Which symptoms of grief are normal, and which are dangerous warning signs. • Valuable and practical coping skills to help you get through each day. • Secrets to getting a good night's restorative sleep without prescription drugs.
• How to endure the holidays and thoughtless visitors. • How to identify and defuse anger, guilt, and regret. • Family changes to look for and how to keep your family intact through this tragedy. • Just the right activities and comforting exercises to help ease you through your darkest days. • Tried and true psychological exercises and strategies to help lessen the raw pain. • Satisfying and therapeutic creative expressions of grief. • Effective techniques to honor and remember your lost loved one. • How to cling to hope and move from grief to joy Created and written by an experienced certified grief coach, our excellent devotional will guide you through despair and help you learn to embrace hope and joy once again. This enlightened and compassionate approach to grief recovery is sure to help lighten your heavy burden, leading you gently towards a successful resolution... and move you forward on your journey to joy. WWBF: What Does Faith Mean to You? VB: What Faith Means To Me' ... Here is my short response to what faith means to me…. Faith means that everything is going to be ok in the end. That doesn't EVER mean that things always happen when or the way we want them to but the fact that you will be ok with what happens. That you WILL make it through. WWBF: How can the readers stay connected with you? VB: Please follow me online @ http://www.griefhelpline.coach https://www.facebook.com/griefhelpline https://www.instagram.com/griefstrategist https://www.linkedin.com/in/griefstrategist https://www.linkedin.com/in/griefstrategist https://twitter.com/griefstrategist
Grief Helpline Coaching, LLC Vernessa Blackwell, MBA, CJ, NCC, CGRS Offices Located in Southern Maryland and Tampa Florida 240-270-1522
Faith, Food and Family HONEYS WARM KALE SALAD The only thing I can say is incredible this salad is loaded with delicious exciting flavors that are sure
BY DEBORAH HUNTER
to please your pallet imagine juicy spicy BBQ shrimp fresh kale and sweet carrots tossed in lemon juice and olive oil and served warm •2 cup fresh organic kale ( rinse well and remove the center stems) •1-2 carrots julienne • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice • sea salt and coarse black pepper to taste • a dash of cayenne • 4-6 large Shrimp • and your favorite barbecue sauce In a large skillet over medium high heat add a small amount of olive oil or coconut oil add to carrots and allow them to toast once they start to brown add your kale and allow it to weather now add your lemon juice and salt and coarse black pepper once you kale and carrots are nice and tender turn off the heat and set to the side for just a few minutes • YOUR SHRIMP Using a wooden skewer add you shrimp set to the side and a small amount of oil to your skillet when she oil is hot place the shrimp skewer in the skillet for one and a half to two minutes on each side depending on the size of your shrimp sprinkle on a little bit of salt and cayenne pepper quickly brushed on your barbecue sauce remove from heat and allow your shrimp to rest for about a 1 minute Placed shrimp skewer on the bed of warm kale and ENJOY Cooking With Honey and Friends Facebook / Instagram / YouTube And every Monday morning @9 Am on MPB 91.3
Sherabim J. Allen
When He Speaks
NOW LIVE IT One of the most challenging aspects of being a preacher & teacher of the Word of God, as well as an author based on His truths is when He requires you to live out what you preached, taught, or wrote about. I learned this first hand in 2017. In chapter 1 of my book, “Heart of a Woman: Motherhood, Marriage, Ministry & Money”, I penned the following phrase “The most important thing you can ever do….is GUARD YOUR HEART!” I also advise my readers to analyze their investment choices in terms of persons, places, and things. “Whew”! I never thought those words would confront me, look me square in the eyes and say “NOW LIVE IT!” Truly, I had to require myself to guard my heart this past year. Had I not been determined to do this the challenges of 2017 would have caused me to lose sight of not only who I am but who God is. Yes, I suffered some loss in 2017. Yes, I cried more tears then I had planned to. Yes, I had to have some honest painful conversations with myself and with God. Yes I had to make some tough decisions that I never thought I would have to make. However, I cannot deny the inexplicable truth, that yes, I also gained a sense of peace, wisdom, focus, strength, maturity and valuable lessons that I can undoubtedly use on my journey to empower others. Amazing! Only MY God can transform a pitiful plight into a platform to minister to others. My pastor, Bishop Anthony W. Gilyard, prophesied that 2018 shall be the year of acceleration. Who am I to argue with God? He said it. I receive and expect it. I encourage you to do the same. Whatever you started on your journey to greatness…pick up where you left off and strive and go forward in faith. I know who I am and I know who God is. I challenge you to remember who you are and to remember who God is as well. What has God commissioned you to do? Just do it in faith and leave the details and the end results up to God. I guarantee you that you will be pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Empowering you to empower others, Sherabim J. Allen author of: “Heart of a Woman: Motherhood, Marriage, Ministry, and Money” & “Life Won’t Wait…the Single Christian Woman’s Fight for Focus”
daily reflections of authentic living
Cee Cee H. Caldwell
.
What Is Guilt And Why Does It Hold You Back From What You Want To Do Let’s talk about guilt? It’s not a great feeling, is it? By definition, guilt is feeling of deserving blame for something. Often it’s a good check mechanism and a state of mind that we want to avoid. It moves us to action and gets us to do “the right thing”. Think ‘ back on your student days. Not doing your homework and lying about it made you feel guilty. That in turn ensured that you turned in your homework the next day and kept doing it going forward. Not a bad thing for your academic career. But sometimes guilt can be a bad thing and something that holds us back from achieving the things we want out of life. We feel guilty about spending time and money on growing a side business. We take away precious time from our loved ones to attend a live event. We don’t get to tuck the kids in at night because we’re going back to school. It’s easy to fall into the guilt trap even when we know what we’re doing is important and worthwhile. In short, like so many other things in life, guilt can be a positive thing, something that motivates you and gets you to work towards your goals and things you want to get done, or it can be the thing that’s holding you back. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to your feelings of guilt and ask yourself if it’s productive or if it’s holding you back. keep you from loving yourself and doing what you really want to do. Here’s the big problem with guilt. Sometimes it stops you from doing what you want to do as we discussed already. At other times it’s causing you to hold back and not give it your all. If you feel bad about missing dinner with the family, you’re not going to be fully present and committed in that client meeting or the class you’re taking. The guilt you’re feeling is keeping you from committing fully and giving it your all. It’s also taking a lot of the joy out of whatever it is you are doing. This may not seem like a big deal at first glance, but it takes a lot of the positive energy and drive out of your sails. It’s that energy that makes you push a little harder, try a little longer, and do all the little, seemingly insignificant things that make all the difference in the end. The guilt also gives you an easy excuse to give up. Life isn’t easy and any goal worth reaching takes work and effort. Sometimes it’s easier to give up than to keep pushing hard, solve problems, or resolve conflicts we’d rather avoid. That guilty feeling may be just the excuse you were looking for to justify giving up. By addressing these feelings of guilt and working through them, you can greatly improve your chances of reaching those goals and crafting the life you really want for yourself and your loved ones. www.realliferealfaithmagazine.net
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