COCOA
11
Being a Single Parent Isn't Just for Women Anymore Bryant Lewis
14
Interview with Councilman Bergson Leneus Hurley Morgan
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Hurley's Mental Note Hurley Morgan
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Fast & Furious Move with Passion and Purpose Leroy McKenzie
JANUARY/FEBRUARY ISSUE 2020
REAL LIFE REAL FAITH MEN OF FAITH
Editor in Chief Cheryl Lacey Donovan Publisher Elissa Gabrielle Senior Editors Hurley Morgan Cee Cee H. Caldwell Columnists Leroy McKenzie Alvin C. Romer Hurley Morgan Bryant Lewis Marc Bandemer
Designer Cheryl Lacey Donovan
EDITORIAL OFFICES P.O. Box 450121 Houston, Texas 77245 832-827-4438
SUBSCRIPTIONS (832) 827-4438
. realliferealfaithmagazine.net
Editor's Note Words from the Senior Managing Editor… Hello 2020 & Greetings Everyone! A new year affords you the chance to discover new opportunities and continue to work towards goals and aspirations. Whether you are headed into new journeys, new relationships, new careers, or new anything under the sun…your success is in the palms of your hands. In this New Year we at Men of Faith Magazine will work to continue to bring you bigger and better content that will be entertaining, thought-provoking, educational, and enlightening. That is our promise to you…the reader! We will strive to touch on societal issues and concerns, mental and physical health issues and concerns, emotional and spiritual food for the soul, entertainment and sports news, business and employment tips, and an array of other issues and topics for men. We at MOF want to bring you content that is relevant and speaks to the men. We want to encourage change and a sense of responsibility to our communities. We seek to feature men in our magazine that add value to our communities instead of taking away…Lord knows we don’t need anything else taken from our communities. This issue’s feature is no different. We are pleased and honored to bring to you Brother Bergson Leneus. Brother Bergson is a councilman for the city of East Orange, NJ is the first Haitian American elected to office for that city. Enjoy edition’s feature, Brother Bergson Leneus, and all the articles from the MOF scribes. At MOF, in 2019, we will continue to strive to cultivate minds with insightful and entertaining knowledge that is meant to help someone in need of food for thought. Remember…knowledge is KEY! Our mission continues to be one to address an array of topics that men not only want to hear about but also need to hear about. We will always cater to you. Wishing you a happy and very prosperous New Year! Much Love! Hurley Morgan Senior Managing Editor
R E A L
M E N
P R A Y
Bergson Leneus
COUNCILMAN
brother bergson leneus Mr. Bergson Leneus was born to Haitian immigrant parents and raised in East Orange, NJ. The second of four boys, Mr. Leneus affectionately known as “Berg” to family and friends, graduated from Seton Hall Preparatory High School and earned his bachelor degree in Philosophy from Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey. Mr. Leneus began his life of public service serving as a board member for the East Orange YMCA from 2010 through 2012. Soon after his time with the EO YMCA ended, Berg was appointed as a member of the East Orange Board
of
Education.
He
proudly
served
on
the
EO
Board
of
Education
from February 2012
through December 2017, with the last three years as Board President. The district achieved tremendous gains in academic achievement, safety, cleanliness(in and around the schools), use of technology, and budget solvency during Berg’s leadership. Many initiatives were created and implemented during his tenure to ensure that all families of the East Orange school district received a quality and enriching public education. On January 1st 2018, Mr. Leneus made history as he was sworn in as the first Haitian American elected to office in East Orange's rich history. Although his Council term is in its infancy, Berg has hit the ground running with several community based initiatives that have garnered great support for the residents of the Third Ward of East Orange and the community at large. Berg has made monumental strides in his personal life as well as he was featured in the Star ledger in 2018 for his remarkable health and physical transformation.
His personal story is an inspiration to
many and has been shared and circulated in record numbers throughout the City of East Orange and all across the state.
Berg Leneus’ success in business and community involvement has proven him to be a pillar of strength.
He
continuously
seeks
new
ways
to
improve
himself
and
to
always
give
back
to
the
community that has helped raise him. From his passion as a proud father of four beautiful children, the experience he possesses in the business world, as the former President of the East Orange Board of Education, and currently serving as Councilman of the East Orange Third Ward, he has proven that he is a well-rounded individual whose passion and roots are deeply invested in the families that he serves.
interview with CouncilMan Bergson Leneus MOF: We are thrilled to have you come through Men of Faith. How are things going for you these days? Councilman Bergson Leneus: I first want to thank you, Ms. Elissa, and the entire Men Of Faith family for giving me the opportunity to share my journey with your faithful followers. Secondly ...with regard to your question - I can honestly say that I am blessed beyond measure to continue to live out my life’s purpose on a day in and day out basis. MOF: What has been your biggest inspiration in life thus far? What drives you to do what you do? Councilman Bergson Leneus: My world begins and ends with my 4 beautiful children. Dayjah, Elisa, Nyomi, and Berg. I want and need to be better because of them and for them. I started my journey into fatherhood at the tender age of 19 so needless to say I had no clue as to what I was doing. The only thing that was clear and evident was that I could not fail because my life was no longer just about my individual self. MOF: You are a graduate from Rutgers University with a bachelor degree in Philosophy. You have been in public service since 2010. You started off as a board member for the YMCA. You went on to serve on the Board of Education, with the last three years of that serving as the Board President. And now you serve on the council for the city of East Orange NJ, in which you became the first Haitian American elected to office in East Orange, NJ. Of all that you have accomplished and you are currently doing, what have you found to be the most pleasing and/or rewarding to you? Councilman Bergson Leneus: There are some critical things that have occurred during my time here in the land of the living...a few of them you have mentioned within this particular question. Other than my children the first thing that immediately comes to mind is the process in which I was able to lose 150lbs naturally during the course of one of my most tumultuous years personally and professionally. I was diagnosed with diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol. The dreaded “silent killers’’ that plague many Americans, they are especially prevalent in communities of color where the numbers are staggering. I decided that being alive and present for my children, community, and self was most important. I consciously made a healthy lifestyle change and a few short years later I can say that I am free from those ills. I have subsequently vocalized my journey and now advocate to motivate and push others in my community and beyond to take back their lives. MOF: What made you want to get into public service? Councilman Bergson Leneus: Seeing my parents, Uncle, and other community members fight on behalf of the Haitian immigrants that were coming into East Orange during the mid-70’s and 80’s. Those same Haitian immigrants that were fighting for resources and services for the creole Real Life Real Faith | 15
speaking community. I’ve always been a visual learner so I internalized their acts of service and desire to make the community in which they adopted better. I owe everything to the City / community that raised and reared me. So, I dedicate everything that I do for its betterment. MOF: Now that you are in a position to be able to help makechange in the lives of the people you serve, what do you feel are the most pressing issues that you want to take on? Councilman Bergson Leneus: In no particular order…. Holistic development of our youth, health & wellness, generational wealth, supporting and uplifting local businesses, communal bonding, the re-integration of our Elders, prison reform, and fatherhood / mentorship. MOF: What advice would you give someone that is maybe thinking about getting into public service? Councilman Bergson Leneus: I’m not a man of many words so I will simply say…. Just Do It! We are not infinite beings...God is the only infinite being...so if you want to be a part of the solution then take that first step and make it happen while you have the ability wherewithal, and opportunity. There is nothing worse than looking back and saying - should of, would of, could of…. MOF: In the light of all the division going on in the country at this time as it pertains to politics and party turmoil…what is it that you would like to see happen to make things better for everyone no matter the color of their skin or the party that they affiliate with? Councilman Bergson Leneus: Vulnerability, transparency, understanding, and action are essential to the universal alignment that this question poses. Pride and old school ideas have to be checked at the door. There has to be a moment of truth - a look in the mirror moment. Placing all (and I do mean all) issues on the table. Accepting the wrongs of the past and looking for ways to collectively correct them. Once we have addressed those issues then we can move forward in a positive direction. MOF: In your opinion can politicians work together across party lines to actually help “Make America Great” and fix the problems instead of simply talking about fixing the problems? Councilman Bergson Leneus: Most definitely. Please see my immediate previous response. The same applies. We can’t unite towards a common good if we never address the various “elephants” in the room.
MOF: Do you have any ambitions of running for any state and/or federal offices?
Councilman Bergson Leneus: I am honestly enjoying being the Councilman of the 3rd Ward of East Orange. I want to make a lasting impact and effectuate change. That is really my only focus.
MOF: Outside of being a businessman and councilman what else can we find you doing? Any hobbies? Councilman Bergson Leneus: I love spending time with my children, reading comic books, playing basketball, listening to music, and watching movies (especially comedies). MOF: Balancing both family and career can be so challenging. Being that you have a lot of business and community involvement how do you incorporate that healthy balance of having family time as well? Councilman Bergson Leneus: We discussed transparency and in respect to transparency...I still haven’t learned how to completely balance community, family, and career. I am a work in progress. It really takes consistent intentionality and focus. Some weeks are better than others. I will get there one day because I am committed to self-growth and being better in all aspects of my life. MOF: Of course, you know the title of the magazine is Men of Faith Magazine. With all the challenges that men face in today’s society, especially men of color, what words of advice can you give any man that may be going through something in their life right now?
Councilman Bergson Leneus: First and foremost - I am a firm believer in the power of prayer and all that it has done for my family and I throughout this journey called life. Secondly - I have recently come to the realization that “no man is an island”. If you need help, please seek it out. For far too long we as men have been raised to bottle up our emotions for fear of being labeled “soft” and I am/was guilty of this. I now see that we have been causing self-inflicted harm. This method of solitude only causes the pain to reflect in other areas. We as men,
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mentors, father figures, coaches, educators, elders, etc. cannot raise our children with this same belief system. We have to end the traditions of hurt, so that our next generation can reach their full potential/maturation.
MOF: Thank you for taking time out of busy schedule to join us. We would love to be able to keep up with you in order to show support. Tell the readers how they can keep up with what’s going on with you?
Councilman Bergson Leneus: Thank you again for this opportunity. I cannot say it enough but it really means the world to me to be able to share a little bit of my story with your readership. I pray that my words can inspire at least one person to get active and work to make a difference in their respective communities. I am an avid social media user so I,along with community events that we are working on) can be found on the following platforms...
Instagram: @councilmanbergleneus Facebook: Councilman Bergson Leneus Twitter: councilmanbergleneus
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Being a single parent…It’s Not Just For Mothers Anymore Bryant Lewis First and foremost, my deepest love and respect for women who are single mothers, and are out there grinding and hustling every, single day of their lives to make sure their children have everything they need to be successful. My mother was a single parent, so I saw firsthand the struggle, and now, some 40-something years later, this hasn’t become any less of a struggle.
However, mothers no longer have a monopoly on this subject.
Single fathers are becoming more and more prevalent in today’s society. Latest statistics show that 1 in 6 households are now lead by single fathers. Are there social differences between single moms and dads? As someone who’s been a single father for the past 4 years of a now 19 year old young man, I have to work, come home from work when he’s home for the holidays/summer and cook dinner, set up his doctor appointments, be there for him emotionally. The only differences on either side of the gender wall, is a dad teaching his daughter how to be a woman, and a mom teaching her son on how to be a man. Are there still stereotypes regarding the single dads? Yes, without a doubt. But I can tell you that MANY of my male brothers, men that I know personally are shattering those stereotypes. Do single dads get afforded the same sympathetic hugs from society that single moms receive? This is actually a question that has a double-sided answer. Because approximately 17% of households are being run by single fathers, it’s a small enough percentage, where it’s not going to get the proper media coverage to give this more national attention. The other answer side is men, quite frankly, are too prideful to want to admit that we too might need help, because we are stretched too thin, especially financially. Yes, I’ve been guilty of this, and learned a valuable lesson because of my “pride!!”
The few years I’ve been a single father has been a true test of my faith and my strength. My son’s mom suffered multiple illnesses, spending time in and out of hospitals, physical rehab centers, etc. We eventually parted ways, and my son lives with me, which was a nobrainer for me. He is definitely my mini me, to the truest sense of the phrase. He’s a sophomore in college, mature way beyond his years, and we are extremely close. Through everything we’ve been through his mom’s situation, visiting her in the hospitals, my being out of work, us traveling to different colleges, getting home from work making sure he has home cooked meals, going to his football games and his track meets. Taking him for his prom suit and dropping him off at college, I wouldn’t have had these last 4-5 years any other way.
What’s helped me is that we have a great relationship, great communication, we just about talk about everything, good, not so good, and everything in between. Also, our love for the Lord has been so important and prevalent in our lives. We wouldn’t be where we are otherwise. The Holy Spirit says Trust is the pathway to peace. I’ve learned that there is no fear where trust exists. And because my son and I both love the Him, we also trust Him. My son and I love each other, get along great, have had a grand total of 3 incidents of disagreements in the nearly 20 years since his birth. I could write about him all day, and maybe I will, but for now, I will say that we both are extremely blessed to have each other. Are there agencies specifically set up to help, give assistance to single dads? The answer is YES!!! There are support groups, financial aid for everything from food to college for you and your children.
Finally, I pray that we as men can always feel comfortable reaching out to support each other. Sometimes, again, I will use the word pride. Brothers, it’s okay for us to speak to each other about the good, the bad, the curious regarding our relationships with our children. We can speak to each other about our babies having colic, our daughters going on that first date, our sons scoring the game winning touchdown. But we can lean on and pray with each other as we deal with separation from our children mothers. How do we deal with our kids, what recourse do we take seeking visitation rights. What about if our spouses pass away? We shouldn’t be afraid to get a hug from a close friend. Below, I am putting together a couple of support groups we can reach out to. The Fatherhood Project National Fatherhood Initiative Parents Without Partners
God Bless
Real Life Real Faith | 13
Hurley's Mental Note What's On Your Mind
Hello men. I hope that you all are paying real close attention to what’s going on in this country as it pertains to mental health and the illnesses that come with it. To me it appears that many have decided to close their eyes and ignore all the signs and all the events that are going on in this country. Some even go as far as to say that mental illness is a cop out to allowing people to get by with their actions…actions that impact numerous people in a single event. There is not a day that goes by that you cannot look into the newspaper or turn on the local or national news and see some form of mental illness impacting someone’s life. Some psychologists have even stated that the current President of the United States of America suffers from a mental illness called Narcissism. Before anyone loses their mind with that last sentence, I challenge all of you to do some research on the mental disorder Narcissism. Speaking of research…I need all of you to take time to do research on mental health, mental illnesses/disorders, and what mental illnesses/disorders do to you, which includes how they affect one’s physical health as well. Now…back to the topic at hand. Men you are not excluded from mental illnesses. Most of you, if not all of you, are aware of this fact. The issue for us men, however, is that a lot of us are not willing to seek help. Our pride and the fact we don’t want to open up to talk about our feelings are the big reasons that we would go against the better decision of seeking help to address whatever mental illness that may be negatively impacting our lives. For some I am preaching to the choir…i.e. the ones of you that have sought or are currently seeking help for mental illnesses. For the ones that continue to ignore, overlook, or try to hide a mental illness…I dare you to consider seeking some sort of help. Seeking help is not the end of the world…as a matter of fact, it may be the beginning of a new world for you. And for those of you that still need convincing, keep this in mind…ANXIETY and DEPRESSION are considered forms of mental illnesses. So that we understand…mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion, or behavior, or a combination of any of these. Mental illnesses can be connected to distress and/or problems functioning in social, work or family activities.
So men, I have a question? Why does society tend to give us men a pass in most cases when it comes to seeking help for mental illnesses? How we express emotions as men are big contributors to how society often overlooks mental health symptoms of men. One example is how people may look at depression or anxiety symptoms in men versus how they look at the symptoms in women. Since men tend to hide emotions a man that is really showing signs of depression or anxiety may appear to others as being angry or aggressive, while for a woman, on the other hand, people will tend to see it as expressing sadness. This is why we must do more to bring awareness to mental health and become knowledgeable. When an individual has a serious mental health issue that goes undiagnosed or untreated sometimes the individual seeks other ways to try to make the way they feel go away or try other ways to make his/herself feel better. Sometimes what people will do is latch on to prescription medications, drugs or alcohol to fix how they feel at that moment, which may turn into an addiction of some sort. Some men may turn to prescription medications, drugs or alcohol to try to cope with their emotional issues. Do you know anyone that has done this before or are currently doing this? Would you be able to honestly admit to this if this was in fact you? In the world of mental health this is oftentimes labeled self-medicating. The definition of self-medicating is taking addictive or habituating drugs to relieve stress or other conditions. We will dig more into this in a future article for this topic is well-deserving of its own article. Sometimes mental health symptoms will be mislabeled as physical issues that are going on with the body. What would you think was going on with you if you are experiencing a racing heart, tightening chest, ongoing headaches, and/or digestive issues? Most people will attribute these symptoms to something that is physically happening with your body, which may very well be so. However, if you are having a lot of emotional problems or your stress level is through the roof…these factors can be the catalyst to what’s causing these symptoms. What are some signs that there may be some sort of mental health problem going on with a person? Warning signs that may be mental health symptoms: Anger, Irritability or aggressiveness Noticeable changes in mood, energy level, or appetite Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much Difficulty concentrating, feeling restless, or on edge Increased worry or feeling stressed
A need for alcohol or drugs Sadness or hopelessness Suicidal thoughts Feeling flat or having trouble feeling positive emotions Engaging in high-risk activities Ongoing headaches, digestive issues, or pain Obsessive thinking or compulsive behavior Thoughts or behaviors that interfere with work, family, or social life Unusual thinking or behaviors that concern other people Now men‌after seeing this you must then take a look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Have you in the past or do you currently experience any of these symptoms? If you answer yes you must then ask yourself why do you currently experience these? What kind of stress is going on in your life that may have you experiencing any one of these symptoms? We, as men, must do a better job acknowledging the fact when it comes to mental health. We can no longer afford to overlook symptoms in ourselves or in anyone that is in our lives. The news is proving this fact. Case studies and research are telling us this fact. Your life, your marriages, your family, your friends, your church family‌ society‌all need you to seek help if you are dealing with mental health symptoms. Men we must change our mentalities. We must not look at ourselves as weak if we seek help. We must not care about what others will think if we seek help. We must change the narrative!
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2020
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2020
FAST & FURIOUS MOVE WITH PASSIONAND PURPOSE LEROY MCKENZIE, JR.
jnfenenterprises@yahoo.com It’s a new year and a new decade. What will make
With these 3 skill sets you will be ready to take on
the next 10 years different from the last 10 years of
any assignments that you set out to accomplish
your life? Muhammad Ali once said, “if you are the
this year. Being focused means that you are
same person at 40 that you were at 20, you have
dialed into what you are doing and where you
wasted 20 years of your life.” We are a few weeks
are trying to get to. When you are focused you
into 2020 and you should be well on your way to
block out all or any distractions that may come
becoming who it is you want to be this year. Your
your way.
assignments/goals have been set, you have developed your plan to achieve them and now
You must discipline yourself in order to get
comes the part that you must implement them.
through those tough days that you will
The crazy thing about a plan is that it is only
encounter. Those days that you don’t feel like
effective if it is carried out.
doing what you have to do. It’s at those times that you rely on that part of you that has a
If we are going to be better by the end of 2020
commitment to yourself. Discipline creates habit
than we are at the beginning of 2020 it all begins
and as you move further into your year your
with your mindset. Are you mentally prepared to
discipline will carry you when you are not as
take on 2020? This year will have its own flow to it
focused as you may want to be.
but the only thing that you must be concerned with is being mentally equipped to handle the
The last skill set is your consistency. Being
flow. Can you handle the flow of 2020? My
consistent means that in spite of how things may
assignment, in this article is to mentally equip
be or look you are still committed to doing and
you with the tools that will allow you to go into
achieving your goals. Your consistency will come
this year FAST & FURIOUS…MOVE WITH PASSION
as a result of being focused and disciplined.
AND PURPOSE. What will it take for you to be
There is a great amount of success that awaits
prepared for this year and achieving your goals.
you in this year but it is only available to you if
Here are 3 skill sets that you will need throughout
you do the work and put the time in to SEE IT
this year in order to move with passion and
(VISION), WRITE IT (BLACKPRINT), WORK IT
purpose:
(IMPLEMENT). Putting your thoughts together to
1. Be Focused
move you to your next level in 2020 is all up to
2. Be Disciplined
just one person, and that person is the one
3. Be Consistent
looking at you in the mirror. EXPECT GREAT THINGS IN 2020!!! #ChasingtheImpact2020