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Wednesday 28 August 2019
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Moving out
Safety concerns have led to a Mordialloc apartment complex being vacated. Picture: Gary Sissons
Apartments ‘no longer safe’ Brodie Cowburn brodie@baysidenews.com.au A MORDIALLOC apartment complex has been evacuated amid safety concerns. An inspection of the complex by a Victorian Building Authority panel on 22 August led to the building being vacated. The panel consisted of fire safety experts appointed as part of the
VBA’s statewide cladding audit. A VBA statement read that “most of the units are currently vacant. The remaining permanent residents will be allowed 48 hours to vacate the property.” VBA CEO Sue Eddy said “safety must take priority” when evaluating if a building should be vacated. “I know this relocation may cause anxiety, but I want to assure the Vic-
torian public this was not a decision taken lightly,” she said. “The building has had numerous defects identified in the decade since construction. “Having reviewed the state of the building and the numerous fire risks it currently presents, experts believe it is no longer safe for people to live in the building.” A VBA audit conducted in early
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2019 revealed that 11 privately owned buildings in the Kingston municipality were identified as having dangerous cladding. Eight buildings in Frankston were also “identified with cladding”. Kingston Council took aim at “shoddy” developments earlier this year. The mayor Georgina Oxley said in April that “for most people their home is their biggest asset and their livelihood, it’s important that we’re able
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to support families and home owners in protecting their homes. We want developments to comply with the relevant standards. Anything short of this is simply unacceptable.” “We’ve seen the tragedies around the world occur because of shoddy construction and poor building materials. The time to act is now,” she said (“Council wages war on ‘shoddy’ developments”, The News, 17/4/19).
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NEWS DESK
Festival for seniors soon
THE impact of Bay Trail works on beachgoers will be investigated. Bay Trail works have drawn some vocal opposition from residents, particularly along Beach Road. Pictures: Gary Sissons
Summer beachgoer disruption ‘crazy’ Brodie Cowburn brodie@baysidenews.com.au A REPORT will be prepared for Kingston Council to help determine if Bay Trail works will prove disruptive for beachgoers over summer. Councillors voted at their 26 August meeting to ask council officers to prepare a report on “the implementation of construction works for the Bay Trail, giving consideration to impact on users of the foreshore, roadway, beach access, club activities, and carparks”. The report will also consider the “construction methodology,
financial impact of delaying works, and construction impacts of delaying works.” Cr Geoff Gledhill said “I spoke to relevant officers who said it would be difficult to undertake work given the use in that peak period. “I do think that when work is being undertaken in an area with an influx of people, we have to understand how it’s going to happen,” he said. Cr Ron Brownlees said “Once they dig the road and the vegetation up, residents don’t have access to our most important asset, that’s the beach. We pride ourselves on our 13 kilometres of beach. It’s not only for our resi-
dents, it’s for thousands of others.” “It is crazy to restrict access in the most important and busiest period of the year.” Cr Steve Staikos opposed the motion, telling council “I don’t think this motion is necessary. I believe we and our officers have the ability to deliver large projects and minimise impact on the community.” On 21 August, Kingston Council took another step towards the completion of the Bay Trail by voting to “issue a notice of decision to grant a permit to remove vegetation and alter access to a road (...) adjacent to Rennison Street Parkdale to Main Street Mordialloc.”
THE Kingston Seniors Festival will return in October this year. The month long festival features a lineup of free and low cost programs for senior citizens. They include: • Preserving family photographs, free workshop, Parkdale Library. • Stardust/The Mission, a Kingston Arts performance about two Australian family histories, Shirley Burke Theatre. • Lux Radio Theatre’s Sherlock Holmes and A Woman’s Wit with the Mighty Wurlitzer, Kingston City Hall. • Nutrition for Seniors, free information session at Clarinda Library. • Seniors Fit Club, Waves Leisure Centre, Chesterville Road Highett. • Gardens of the National Trust of Victoria, free talk with garden historian and author Dr Anne Vale, Westall Library. • The Cascades Female Factory in early colonial Hobart, a free event about the true stories of female convicts in Van Dieman’s Land, Parkdale Library • A free live performance of wartime songs through to 80’s hits from Cindy Dean at Parkdale Library. Kingston mayor Georgina Oxley said “this year’s program includes more than 100 activities and workshops which provide opportunities for older people to leave the house,
pick up a new skill, have fun and meet others.” “From the Seniors Fit Club and author talks to tips on decluttering, this festival caters to all levels of mobility, and will provide enriching experiences and opportunities to develop new friendships,” she said. “The festival is also proud to provide information sessions and tips to empower our senior citizens.” Bookings, prices, and more information at kingston.vic.gov.au/seniorsfestival
Famous house is on display THE Patterson Lakes home made famous as the abode of iconic Aussie TV duo Kath and Kim will soon be on display. Before renovating the house, the owners will host an open house for fans of the series. The open house will be at 4 Lagoon Place, Patterson Lakes, 10am to 3pm 31 August. $5 entry with proceeds to be donated to Beanies 4 Brain Cancer.
Free trees please KINGSTON residents can apply now to receive two free native trees. Four nurseries are participating in the program, Carrum Indigenous Nursery, Greenlink Sandbelt Indigenous Nursery, Bayside Community Nursery, and Frankston Indigenous Nursery. More information at kingston.vic. gov.au
Shire pushing hard line on jet skis Stephen Taylor steve@baysidenews.com.au MORNINGTON Peninsula Shire Council wants residents to back its hard line against jet skiers on Port Phillip beaches. It is urging them to speak up in a Maritime Safety Victoria survey on a proposed rule change aimed at prohibiting irregular riding – such as wave jumping and freestyling – of jet skis in shared zones. The rule would also require jet skis riders to steer a direct course offshore so other water
users to better predict their course. The proposed rule follows the shire losing its bid to reign in dangerous behaviour by jet skiers near bathers. The shire sees the proposed rule as a watered-down version of what is needed. “The proposed rule doesn’t go far enough in addressing broader community concerns about jet skis,” the shire stated in a full page newspaper advertisement in the Mornington News last week. The advertisement describes the rule as “only addressing a small component of beach safety which is
Valid until 30th September 2019
a major issue for peninsula residents and visitors”. The shire has long advocated for changes to improve beach safety, including trial zones separating swimmers from jet skis, stronger enforcement of the rules and bans on jet skis. The mayor Cr David Gill said on Friday he was “bitterly disappointed with the state backing down on what we thought were very good ways to ensure public safety”. He said the shire had wanted a trial of jet skis being banned from some beaches. Other beaches would remain open to all users.
Cr Gill said the state’s idea of restricting jet skis to “go straight in and out” at any beach would still pose a risk to swimmers, canoes, kayaks and paddle boards. “What the state is proposing still allows jet skis on any beach, to be parked in the shallows and to be refuelled on the beach,” he said. “It’s a big danger to toddlers. “This does nothing for safety or to address noise problems. The state has gone for the softest option and is giving in to the boating industry by protecting jet skis. “It is showing its true colours and
not protecting the hundreds of thousands of people who use the peninsula’s beaches.” Rye Community Alliance’s Mechelle Cheers said communities in towns such as Rye have “made it very clear they want jet skis controlled”. “Council is now doing its bit to represent the views of peninsula communities, so it is way beyond time for the Andrews government to act without any more procrastination.” The survey is open until midday Wednesday 4 September at engage. vic.gov.au/pwc-regulatory-reform
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28 August 2019
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FUNDS committed by council for planned decking works (above) at Mentone Station will be “reviewed”. Picture: Supplied
Station parking leaves council ‘furious’ KINGSTON councillors have vented their frustrations about their dealings with the LXRP and will “review its decision to provide a financial contribution to the Level Crossing Removal Projects at either Cheltenham or Mentone.” Kingston Council announced in July that it had decided to contribute $2.9 million in ratepayer money to help create decks at Mentone and Cheltenham stations. They have now agreed to review that funding. Cr Geoff Gledhill moved the motion at council’s 26 August meeting. He said “as a council we’re equally disappointed that assurances we were given at the outset, particularly parking, have evaporated as this project has progressed. “As a council who have made a financial contribution on behalf of ratepayers. My support for that position would not have been as enthusiastic had I known that the no net loss of parking promise that was given would be fulfilled by having commuter cars parked in local streets. “We tried in a respectful and proactive way to convince them we need to do something about
this, (...) the solution that’s been proposed at the moment is just not acceptable.” Kingston mayor Georgina Oxley said that recent dealings with the LXRP had left her “furious”. “It’s probably no secret that I haven’t been a huge fan of some of dealings we’ve had with LXRP over the last couple months and years,” she said. “My concern is we entered into an agreement to provide funding for extra car parking, I said extra on top of what the LXR had provided. “We entered into an agreement then found out our contribution was going towards their no net loss of parking, not extra. That makes me so furious.” Council also voted at their 26 August meeting to “write to the minister to express our concerns and request a meeting with the minister to discuss such concerns at both Cheltenham and Mentone as a result of the Level Crossing Removal Works, specifically parking concerns.” Brodie Cowburn
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Rotary President elected THE Mordialloc Rotary Club has a new President. Ernie Williams was elected as the new President of the club, and is leading a renewed push for members. The club hosts weekly meetings with guest speakers, and also hosts the annual Gnome and Fairy Festival, Interplast Golf Day, and Bunnings barbeques throughout the year. Enquiries to Ernie Williams on 0403 046 448.
In charge: Ernie Williams has been elected as new President of Mordialloc Rotary. Picture: Supplied
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Chelsea • Mordialloc • Mentone
Proudly published by Mornington Peninsula News Group Pty. Ltd
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Bay Hotel reopened Brodie Cowburn brodie@baysidenews.com.au
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THE Bay Hotel in Mordialloc has reopened its doors under “new management”. The Bay had previously been registered to Five Star Pub Co, before it was wound up in June. The restaurant suddenly shut its doors in May amid allegations that staff had been underpaid. In the wake of those allegations, a petition titled #MakeTheBayPay amassed over 1000 signatures and hospitality
union Hospo Voice shared stories from former workers on their social media channels. “Workers from the Bay Hotel in Mordialloc have been left jobless and are owed more than a million dollars by their boss,” one post on the Hospo Voice Facebook page read. “In February this year Bay Hotel’s 35 workers began noticing their pay was late. Then it stopped. But they kept on working, because they didn’t know what else to do. Weeks and weeks went by without staff being paid. Many staff are owed about eight weeks of wages,
as well as all their annual leave and long service leave (“Bay Hotel workers push for pay”, The News, 12/6/19).” The Australian Securities and Investments Commission website now names Delta Ocean Pty Ltd as the new holder of The Bay Mordialloc. New social media channels for The Bay were established earlier this month, with followers told that the restaurant was “under new management”. They announced that the doors for the restaurant were reopening on Friday, 23 August.
WHAT’S NEW...
The Imperial Russian Ballet Company presents Swan Lake PERFORMING at the Frankston Arts Centre on Friday 20 September and Sunday 27 October, the Imperial Russian Ballet Company return to Australia with Swan Lake...the most loved classical ballet of them all. This masterpiece ballet is presented in two acts and follows the original storyline. Subtle revisions and variations have been introduced by Gediminas Taranda, Artistic Director of the Imperial Russian Ballet Company. Swan Lake crosses the world of magic and
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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News
28 August 2019
mystical creatures with that of the real world. It is a story where the virtues of love and forgiveness in the end conquer evil and betrayal. The Imperial Russian Ballet Company was formed in 1994, headed by the Bolshoi Theatre soloist Gediminas Taranda. The Imperial Russian Ballet Company comprises 40 dancers from the major ballet schools of Russia. Tickets at thefac.com.au or by calling 03 9784 1060.
‘Pathways’ reveal domestic violence Keith Platt keith@baysidenews.com.au INCREASING money for free legal services could help improve the early detection of family violence on the Mornington Peninsula and in Frankston. The Peninsula Community Legal Centre, which has offices in Frankston, Rosebud and Cranbourne, says increasing the financing of “health justice partnerships” is a key to improving the early detection of family violence. In a submission to Victoria’s mental health royal commission, the legal centre says “specialist pathways” are needed to connect patients who are victims of domestic violence to lawyers experienced in psychosocial health and family violence. These pathways must come from both the public and private health sectors. The submission is aimed at “improving the provision of legal services to those suffering psychosocial disability”. “Our recommendations aim to improve the provision of legal assistance to the most disadvantaged and vulnerable clients in our community,” the submission stated. “These recommendations are informed by our extensive work with those experiencing psychosocial disability. “The fact that 28 per cent of our general legal services clients experience psychosocial health issues, directs our recommendation for a substantial increase in funding to the legal assistance sector to support clients with complex needs when facing family law matters, fines, tenancy issues, civil and criminal legal matters. “Over 50 per cent of our family law clients experience family violence and we have seen the
detrimental impact that exposure to family violence can have on our client’s mental well being. “As part of our recommendations, we see the funding of health justice partnerships as key to improving the early detection of family violence. “Specialist pathways to the legal sector provided through the public and private health system, are vital in connecting patients to lawyers that are trained/experienced in both psychosocial health and family violence. The legal centre said early detection of family violence and relevant referrals “can improve the mental wellbeing of a client/patient and make their journey through the legal process less protracted”.
Working off fines PENINSULA Community Legal Centre’s infringement clients have on average owe more than $11,000 in fines. The legal centre’s fines clinic has been running for more than three years and has created a work and development permit scheme to help clients “work off” fines. The Legal Services Board has given the PCLC the go ahead to integrate the scheme into Melbourne’s southern region. Ways clients can reduce fines include undergoing treatment by a health practitioner or drug and alcohol counseling; doing unpaid work; studying a course; or attending a mentoring program (under 25 years). PCLC is looking for sponsors from the health care sector to become involved in the project. Call 9873 3600 or lsanderson@pclc.org.au. Details: pclc.org.au/get-information/informationabout-us/
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28 August 2019
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NEWS DESK Police patrol
with Brodie Cowburn
Robbery, phone smashing investigated A ROBBERY in Mordialloc is being investigated by police. A 29-year-old man was robbed on Friday 19 July, police were told. They were told that the man was outside a hotel in Main Street at around 5am with three unknown men he had met earlier when the robbery took place. It is alleged that a man threatened the victim and demanded his phone and cash. The victim gave the offender money and his phone, which was thrown at the ground and smashed. The three men fled down Main Street. Police have released an image of a man they wish to
speak to in relation to the incident. Anyone with information or who may have witnessed the incident is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or submit a confidential report online at www.crimestoppersvic.com. au.
Jewellery found POLICE are looking to reunite jewellery found in a suspect’s vehicle with its owner. The jewellery was found in a vehicle in Moorabbin on 15 August. Images of the jewellery has been released (below). Inquiries to Senior Constable Clowes at Mordialloc Police Station: 9588 2988
AN image of a man police wish to speak to in relation to a Mordialloc robbery. Pictures: Supplied
Drug trafficking charges A 25-YEAR-old Keysborough man was among six people arrested as part of a 10 month operation into alleged drug trafficking. Four search warrants were executed on 22 August at houses in Annafee Ave, Keysborough, Spring Road, Springvale, Bellvue Court, Noble Park North, and Preston Ave, Endeavour Hills. Police allege that they seized methylamphetamine, cocaine, cash, and a pill press from the houses. The Keysborough man was charged with traffick a large commercial quantity of a drug of dependence and remanded to appear at the Melbourne Magistrates’ Court on 23 August. A 35-year-old Endeavour Hills man was also remanded to appear in court the same day
charged with traffick a drug of dependence. A 31-year-old Endeavour Hills woman was charged with traffick a drug of dependence. A 55-year-old Endeavour Hills woman was charged with possess the proceeds of crime. Two Noble Park men were released pending further enquiries. Information to Crime Stoppers : 1800 333 000
Caught with munchies A POLICE operation outside of Frankston fast food drive-throughs has seen 78 people drug tested, and 21 people test positive. Somerville Highway patrol conducted the operation on 16 and 17 August, parking themselves at Frankston fast food restaurants in an attempt to catch out people looking for a late night feed. 78 vehicles were intercepted, with 21 testing positive for drugs. One drink driver was also detected, returning a blood alcohol reading of 0.16. The drink driver was allegedly spotted driving on the Frankston Freeway at 200 kmph. Six vehicles were impounded and 22 infringement notices were handed out as a result of the operation. Seven defect notices were issued, and 26 people will be issued a summons to attend court. A stolen bike was also recovered.
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28 August 2019
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100 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK...
Airmen to visit country towns to promote Peace Loans Compiled by Cameron McCullough JUST over the white cliffs of Dover, on the landward side, is a picture of an aeroplane cut in the centre of a green meadow. It marks as a remembrance the spot where Mr. Rolls landed when he made the first flight across the English Channel from Calais to Dover. That flight was made barely ten years ago, and when it was made all the world wondered. It is but 22 miles as the crow flies between Calais and Dover, and Mr. Rolls’ flight was made under carefully selected and favorable weather conditions. Shortly after his successful flight across a narrow strait, Mr. Rolls was killed by his machine falling when the engine stopped. Fliers had not then learned what one learned accidentally a little later, and taught the others, that if the airman kept his nerve when the engine stopped, he would plane to the earth in the descending planes an albatross uses when that wonderful flier amongst birds follows a ship at sea, seemingly without the least wing effort. The great war developed not only the construction of aeroplanes but also their control at a marvellous speed. Airmen in the war zone had to take risks all the time they were in the air. They counted their lives as of no account, so that they did their work of lengthening the vision of their own Army Commanders and blinding the eyes of the enemy. Their success meant the difference between victory and defeat, and in
reckoning their own lives as nothing they saved the lives of many thousands of their comrades. So many great deeds have been done in the war that people, from sheer inability of the mind to grasp them, have taken many of them for granted that in other days would have made them gasp in amazement. One Victoria Cross airman, Captain McNamara, will be showing the country districts on the Peace Loan tour what today’s fliers can do. No one who has not seen the fliers of today can have any idea of their mastery of the air. There are children amongst us who have gazed in wonder at the fire balloon rising in the air, and the man on the parachute descending from it. That fire balloon drifted just where the winds drove it. Today’s fliers go whithersoever they will, against the wind or with it, on an even keel or upside down. They rise to amazing heights, or skim over the crowded streets of a city, as they did on Peace Day in Melbourne. The airmen who will tour the country districts of Victoria within the next few weeks, to make known the Peace Loan, are fliers who have learned their work in war. It was their keen desire to win the war which made them learn their hard lessons at the risk of their lives. It is their keen desire to help the Peace Loan which is urging them to undertake their tour in the country districts of Victoria, and tell the people how urgent is the call to help Repatriation through the Peace Loan. *** THE grand annual ball in connection
with the I.O.R, at Hastings will take place in the public hall, on Friday 5th September. Gabriel’s band has been engaged for the occasion and the function promises to be one of the most successful events of the season. Tickets may be procured from the secretary, Mr A. T. Hodgens, or members of the committee. *** THE Wattle Club intend holding a plain and fancy dress ball in the Frankston Mechanics’ Hall on Friday, 5th September. Prizes are being offered for the best fancy dress and most original dress for ladies and gentlemen – three entries or no award. Contestants must be 17 years of age or over. An excellent string band has been engaged and the arrangements for supper are in the hands of first class caterers. *** SINCE Monday supplementary falls of rain have been registered in various portions of the State. Mr Griffith, Acting Commonwealth Meteorologist, stated that in parts of Gippsland over an inch fell, and at Walhalla two inches and a half was recorded. In the Western district some good showers fell, and in some localities the falls were heavy. Towards Geelong there was an inch. Light showers fell on the Mallee and Wimmera, and in the northern sections the records were somewhat better. Half an inch fell in Dunolly and Kyabram district, and at 9am Tuesday it was still raining over a good many
stations around Albury. On the eastern side of the Mallee indications were good for additional falls. Light rain fell in South Australia and light to moderate in New South Wales, but scattered in the West. In Queensland there were further falls in the south-east, light to moderate in some places, but in Maryborough district two inches fell. *** AN illustrated lecture on “Rambles of a Rambler in Japan” will be given by Mr R. Alison-Norris F.R.G.S. in the Methodist Church on Friday, Sept 5th, at 8pm. Mr Norris has travelled extensively in Japan as well as many other countries, and has considerable first hand knowledge. The lecture will be illustrated by first class lantern slides shown by Rev E. Tonkin. There will also be musical items and refreshments. The charge for admission is 1s, children half price, and the proceeds are in aid of the Methodist Church trust. *** AFTER a successful business career of 21 years in Frankston, Mrs Jacobs is retiring, having deposed of her well known establishment “The Sunbeam” to Mrs Kimlin. In another column Mrs Jacobs thanks the public for the support accorded her during so many years and asks that the same liberal patronage be extended to her successor, who takes over on Monday next. *** AS we go to press the Railway authorities at Frankston inform us
that the revised time table has just been issued and will take effect from Monday next. There are a number of important alterations. *** A SPLENDID meeting of ratepayers was held on Wednesday night when Crs Oates, Mason and Mr Wells gave addresses. Mr Marsh also spoke by invitation. Mr T. J. McMurtrie presided over the gathering in a very capable way. Notes on the meeting with questions, will be published next week. *** DR Maxwell, who returned from the war a few weeks ago, and has since been undergoing treatment at the Base Hospital, intends resuming his Frankston practice on the 1st September. Dr. Atkinson who has been carrying on Capt. Maxwell’s practice during his absence at the front has been indisposed for some days past and is being assisted by Dr Ross. *** FOOTBALL! Semi-Final Match. FRANKSTON V. MORNINGTON, at Somerville, on Saturday, 6th September. A Real Dinkum Football Match. A Special Train will Leave Frankston for Somerville at 2.15pm. Secure your tickets early – Sure to be a rush at the last moment. Tickets on sale at Messrs Dalman’s, Willox’s, Ledgar’s, Woods and at Miss Coe’s Confectionery, opposite Station. Fares, 2s Return, Children, 1s. *** FROM the pages of the Mornington Standard, 30 August 1919
THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE... AND OTHER SHORT STORIES
Everything you wanted to know about a possible free trade deal with Europe (but had no time or, indeed, actual inclination to ask) By Stuart McCullough YOU’RE welcome. Although it’d be nothing short of a pants-incinerating lie of Trumpian proportions to tell you it was my ‘pleasure’, I am more than happy to spare you the agony that I have so recently experienced for myself. Granted, it’s several days that I’ll never get back and it’s more than likely that a small piece of my soul has died, but I did it. What’s more, I did it with a smile on my face, albeit one that was drawn on with texta and will take upwards of a month to wash off, but that hardly matters. I have read the proposed free trade agreement between Australia and Europe so you don’t have to. Thank me later. First, the bad news: Australians may no longer be allowed to use the term ‘feta’. As a cheese-loving nation, this is quite the blow. Frankly, it feels like something being sought more out of spite than principle. But as Australians, we really know how to roll with the punches and I’ve already come up with a bunch of alternatives. For fans of Star Wars, we could call it ‘Bobba Feta’. To the best of my knowledge, our great nation is not currently attempting to negotiate a free trade deal with George Lucas, so I am semiconfident that we can get away with it. Although, to be fair, George Lucas is a lot more powerful than Europe. Suffice to say, if he parks the Death Star outside your house, best to stay indoors. Alternatively, as a salute to modern elocution, we could rename the product ‘feddar’. I doubt anyone
would notice. Perhaps some kind of celebrity endorsement would help us preserve the status quo; I, for one, would be happy to purchase a hundred gram pack of ‘Roger Fetarer’. Dare I say, you could ‘serve’ it to anyone. (No need to write in – just insert your own comment about that joke being a ‘double fault’ and move on….) Or we could try something descriptive like ‘stinky crumble cheese’. Sounds delicious. I feel we should stand our ground, especially on the touchy subject of cheeses. ‘Gouda’ isn’t a reference to a milk-based cheese from Holland. I’m pretty sure ‘Gouda’ played half back flank for Essendon in 1987 before going on to run a small caravan park in Patchewollock. If memory serves,
his full name was ‘Peter Gouda’ and he is best remembered for having a mullet that could be seen from space. Although that could probably be any footballer from that era. A ‘Camembert’ was a small sedan produced by Holden in the sixties. A ‘Gruyere’ is an ornamental chisel often used to shimmy open a stuck kitchen drawer. A ‘Buxton Blue’ is a disagreement with a real estate agent and a ‘Melton Mowbray pork pie’ is a blatant untruth told by someone who lives half way to Ballarat. These terms cannot be taken away from us – they’re an intrinsic part of our way of life. Back off, Europe. If you remove the term ‘Devonshire’ from my favourite snack, it will leave me devastated and in need of a scone and
a cup of tea. There are plans to take these restrictions even further. For example, the French are planning to prohibit anyone else from using the term ‘de ja vu’, although I feel they may have done that before. The Spanish are seeking to reclaim the term ‘siesta’ meaning an end to daytime naps as we know them. ‘English ham’ will no longer refer to a pork-based product but may still be used when referring to Ricky Gervais. Sadly, a ‘Dutch Oven’ can only be used with respect to an actual oven. If they keep this up, we’ll have no choice but to resign from Eurovision even though we’re clearly the best thing in it by an absolute mile. (Kate Miller Heidke was totally robbed last year. Robbed.) Good luck
watching Estonia, suckers! We have to retaliate. Great Australian inventions like cask wine, tramp stamp tattoos, hook turns and the tall poppy syndrome should be withdrawn from the continent entirely. Terms like ‘stone the flaming crows’, ‘fair suck of the sauce bottle’ and ‘drongo’ will be flat-out banned, meaning every episode of ‘Home and Away’ featuring a scene with Alf Stewart will have to be majorly re-edited. The folks in Brussels won’t know what hit them. I can’t even recall the last time European Union Commission President Ursula von der Leyen opened her mouth without using either the term ‘flaming galah’ or ‘drop-kick’ at least once. Hugh Jackman will no longer speak to them. Forget ‘Brexit’ – Jackxit is where European resolve is truly tested. If you’re thinking about reading the proposed free trade deal for yourself, it seems only fair to warn you that it is not a riveting read. Although it will make you hungry. I’d tell you more about it but I don’t want to give away the ending. I just hope neither side goes overboard. After all, what does it matter what it’s called so long as it’s still delicious? They say a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Except you can’t call it a ‘rose’ anymore and, instead, are legally obliged to refer to it as ‘perennial flowering bee magnet’. It must be super awkward for the negotiators over dinner. I’d say ‘bon appetite’ but I suspect it’s not allowed. stuart@stuartmccullough.com
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scoreboard CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE NEWS
Stonecats gone in first week
DIVISION ONE
By Brodie Cowburn FRANKSTON YCW have gone crashing out of finals in week one after falling to Bonbeach on Sunday. Bonbeach got off to a stunning start at RJ Rowley Reserve. They booted nine goals to zero in the first quarter and held a whopping 57 point lead by quarter time. The Stonecats were better in the second quarter but by then the damage was already done. They couldn’t get close to the Sharks, and ended up falling to defeat 10.14 (74) to 20.9 (129). Shane McDonald’s five goal haul saw him named best on ground for the day. At Olympic Oval on Saturday, Pines and Dromana faced off in the qualifying final. The contest saw last year’s Division One and Division Two premiers go head to head. The Pythons got off to an impressive start with a five goal first term, and took a 20 point lead into the first break. Dromana wrestled control of the game back in the second quarter, and stunned the Pines with a six goals to one stretch. The Tigers led by 17 at half time. Pines chipped the deficit back to two points heading into the final term, but Dromana ended up holding on. The Tigers have fit right into the first division this season, and proved their quality by knocking off the reigning premiers 10.11 (71) to 13.9 (87). Terry Wheeler continued his brilliant run of form. He was Dromana’s best and kicked two goals. Ethan Johnstone kicked four goals. On Saturday Sorrento will take on Dromana at RJ Rowley Reserve with the winner progressing to the Grand Final. Pines will take on Bonbeach at Chelsea Reserve on Sunday.
Tigers roar to victory: Dromana proved their worth in Division One by knocking off last year’s premiers, Pines. Picture: Andrew Hurst
Holt’s haul puts Bulls in prelim DIVISION TWO
By Brodie Cowburn A MAMMOTH 11 goal haul from star forward Marc Holt helped Karingal to a win over Somerville on Sunday. It was do or die for both sides, with the winner advancing to next week’s preliminary final and the loser being eliminated from premiership contention. Karingal got off to a red hot start, booting seven goals to two in the first term to race out to an early lead. Somerville were a little better in the second quarter, but were still down by 25 at half time. In the third quarter, Somerville started to make Karingal feel a little nervous. They chipped the lead back to 11 heading into the final term. Karingal were just able to do enough to hold off Somerville in the end, getting the win in an entertaining contest 18.12 (120) to 15.10 (100). At Chelsea Reserve, Red Hill booked their grand final spot with a comfortable win over Langwarrin. A five goals to one first term put Langwarrin in the lead, as they looked to shock the league by claiming wins over Karingal and Red Hill in consecutive weeks. Red Hill rarely concede any more than five goals during the whole game, making the first quarter blitz even more of a shock.
PAGE 10
In the second quarter the Hillmen woke up. They hit back with a seven goals to zero term, stopping the Kangaroos in their tracks and taking a 21 point lead into the main break. Langwarrin chipped the lead back to ten after half-time, but Red Hill eventually ran away with a 40 point win 15.11 (101) to 9.7 (61). Jonathon Ross was brilliant for Red Hill, bootting five goals. He scored 50 over the course of the home and away season. Kyle Beveridge and Daniel Frampton also played a big part in the win. After falling just short of the premiership last year, Red Hill will be full of fire looking to make amends this time around. They are the first team to book their ticket to the Grand Final in two weeks time. Langwarrin and Karingal will do battle at Somerville Recreation Reserve on Saturday, with the winner to square off against Red Hill in the big dance. The Bulls will be looking for revenge after the last clash between the sides. Karingal and Langy faced off in the qualifying final, with the Kangaroos claiming the win.
Hillmen bounce the Kangaroos: Red Hill booked their Grand Final berth with a comfortable win over Langwarrin. Picture: Andrew Hurst
Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 August 2019
CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE NEWS scoreboard
Somerville set for title celebration SOCCER
By Craig MacKenzie SOMERVILLE should clinch the State 5 South title by defeating third-bottom Bunyip District on Saturday. The local outfit enjoyed an 11-goal romp against bottom side Hampton Park United last weekend while Old Mentonians continued to drop the baton in the championship chase by drawing 2-2 with Rosebud at Olympic Village. Old Mentonians got off to a dream start when Chris Gibson put them in front after three minutes but goals to Cory Osorio and Chris Hatzikonstantinos had the home side ahead at half-time. Old Mentonians’ leading scorer Rannesh Krishnan had started on the bench but he came on early in the second half and equalised in the 52nd minute but the visitors were unable to claim all three points. What was a neck-and-neck struggle just a few rounds ago has turned into a stroll to the line for Somerville and another title triumph for the Scott Morrison and Dave Greening partnership seems assured given that they need just one point with two matches remaining. Mark Pagliarulo and Greening have formed a lethal strike force this season and the struggling Hampton Park outfit had little chance of keeping them at arm’s length. The avalanche of goals at KM Reedy Reserve was supplied by Pagliarulo (6), Carlo Cardoso (2), Callum Richardson, Daniel Hodge and Ben Meiklem. Although Greening was unusually absent from the scorers’ list he was credited with seven assists. In NPL2 news Langwarrin drew 1-1 with Goulburn Valley Suns at Lawton Park on Saturday. A well-executed glancing header from Max Etheridge following a David Stirton corner in the 5th minute put the home side in front but a superb diving header from Alou Kuol in the 16th minute levelled proceedings. In other Langy news the much-rumoured clinching of Ryan Paczkowski’s signature is unlikely to eventuate as it’s believed that the former Mornington striker and current Oakleigh Cannons star is negotiating a new deal to extend his stay at Jack Edwards Reserve. Scottish midfielder Scott Lochhead, 22, is training with Langy and has an impressive CV which includes spells with Rangers, Celtic, Dundee United and Dunfermline. Lochhead arrived in Melbourne in February to join Bentleigh Greens but is keen to switch to Lawton Park for the upcoming season. Langy has released second-string keeper Faraz Zenoozi to make way on its senior list for Luke Goulding who was named in the under-20s list when initially signed from Melbourne Victory and could only play nine senior games under NPL rules. Langwarrin’s under-15s clinched the NPL title on Sunday with a 2-1 win over Port Melbourne giving Don Delaney’s side an unassailable lead with three games to go. In NPLW news Southern United lost 3-2 to Senior NTC at Monterey Reserve on Saturday with Southern’s goals coming from defender Sarah Tebbutt and US import Jennifer Lum.
Dynamic duo: Somerville strikers Dave Greening (left) and Mark Pagliarulo have scored 41 league goals this season. Pictures: John Punshon
The under-19s were overrun in the second half by Young NTC going down 7-0 but Southern’s under-16s won 3-1 thanks to a Rhys McKenna brace and a close-range strike from Ezel Duyar. In State 1 news Mornington had a 1-0 away win over St Kilda Celts last weekend. Andy Goff prodded home a loose ball following a corner in the 28th minute and this proved decisive. Mornington had five players aged 21 or under in its matchday squad and all enjoyed significant game time. “I’m having a really good look at some of our future talent to see if they can make the step up next year,” Mornington head coach Adam Jamieson said. In State 2 news Peninsula Strikers won 2-1 at home to Mooroolbark on Saturday. Jonny Guthrie put Strikers in front in the 7th minute after an excellent run by Matt Harrington who beat two defenders out wide then set up the former Langwarrin midfielder who scored from close range. Dave Brickell equalised five minutes later but four minutes into the second half Jordan “Kaka” Avraham nabbed the winner after being set up by Grant Lane in a move involving Oscar Marsden and Alpha Turay. In State 3 news Skye United kept in front of third-placed Whitehorse United with a 2-0 away win over Diamond Valley United on Saturday. Skye and Whitehorse are on the same points but Skye has a far superior goal difference and is unlikely to lose that advantage with just two games remaining. Partingtons Flat is not the most inviting venue in Victorian soccer due to the quality of the pitch but that didn’t stop Skye from emerging victorious last weekend. A first-half double from Jack Gallagher was
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enough to seal the deal in a game which failed to reach any great heights. Gallagher’s first came after 10 minutes when Mitch Blake broke into a one-on-one and a lastditch tackle saw the ball spill to Gallagher for a tap-in. Two minutes later Gallagher was on hand to head home after a Daniel Walsh header rebounded off the crossbar. Skye now has two home games to finish the season and successive wins will ensure promotion. Meanwhile goalkeeper Alfonso Cardinale was given a send-off game for Frankston Pines last Friday night in a 3-3 draw with visitor Elwood City. The former NPL gloveman has retired after a career which included stints at Goulburn Valley Suns, Keilor Park and Heatherton United. Joe O’Connor (2) and Lachie McMinimee scored for Pines with O’Connor’s first goal in the 32nd minute coming from a good interpassing move involving Nick Simmons and McMinimee and his second in the 95th minute snatching a point for the home side. In State 4 news Baxter held a players’ meeting last Thursday night and decided to go ahead and honour its home fixture against Sandown Lions on Saturday. Sandown, Springvale City and some of their club associates faced charges arising from an abandoned fixture at Ross Reserve early in August. A Football Victoria tribunal hearing was held last week and both clubs were fined and given points deductions but the fallout also affected Baxter whose director of coaching Billy McLeod is understood to have resigned his post with his father and senior team manager following suit both believing that Saturday’s match should not have gone ahead. It did and as expected Sandown had the bulk of
possession but chose to waste it with a succession of poorly executed shots from distance. When the visitors did hit the target they found Baxter keeper James Foster and the crossbar significant hurdles but Sandown eventually prevailed 1-0 in controversial circumstances. How the referee found so much time added in a contest where no players required onfield treatment during normal time remains a mystery but six minutes into injury time Masur Kuei scored after Baxter failed to effectively clear following a corner. Off the field a leading Baxter administrator expressed dismay at Langwarrin’s failure to provide a formal proposal after both clubs held secret meetings earlier this season to discuss a partnership arrangement for 2020. It’s believed that Langwarrin was prepared to offer financial compensation for providing training and matchday facilities at Baxter Park for Langy’s community junior sides, its women’s program and its Bayside teams. The Baxter administrator claims that Langwarrin also wanted to have two representatives on the Baxter committee and led Baxter to believe that a written proposal was being formulated. “That was about two months ago but we‘re not holding our breath,” the Baxter source said. However Langwarrin’s reticence to respond is understood to be based on uncertainty over the level of Baxter’s alleged debt. Harry McCartney reports that Seaford United was eventually rewarded for its pressure with a 1-0 away win over Springvale City last Friday night. The visitors had to wait until the 58th minute and the winner came via a Jeremy Schwellinger strike that took a wicked bounce on a patchy Ross Reserve surface. In a late push for an equaliser Springvale sent numbers forward and looked dangerous in doing so but couldn’t penetrate Seaford’s goal. In State 5 Aspendale Stingrays thumped Casey Panthers 5-1 last weekend in a fixture switched to Kingston Heath Soccer Complex. A Sam Timuska-Carr strike in the 44th minute gave Aspendale a half-time lead and although Casey levelled early in the second half it couldn’t keep the Stingrays at bay and goals from Kieran Hughes (2), Nathan Barnett and substitute Anthony Segavac rounded off the scoreline. Aspendale’s best were Peter Dimopoulos, Hughes and Sonny Lindsay. This week’s games: WEDNESDAY, 7pm: Heidelberg Utd v Southern Utd (Olympic Village). FRIDAY, 8.30pm: Skye Utd v Frankston Pines (Skye Recreation Reserve). SATURDAY, 3pm: Nunawading City v Mornington (Mahoneys Reserve), Seaford Utd v Baxter (North Seaford Reserve), Bunyip District v Somerville Eagles (Bunyip Recreation Reserve), Rosebud v Hampton Park Utd (Olympic Park), Endeavour Hills Fire v Aspendale Stingrays (Power Reserve). SATURDAY, 4pm: Manningham Utd Blues v Langwarrin (Veneto Club). SUNDAY, 3pm: Box Hill Utd v Southern Utd (Wembley Park), North Caulfield v Peninsula Strikers (Caulfield Park).
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