No 3 the whistler spring summer 1992

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Great Traditions 2- Trying to get a drink at the Bar on Sunday Lunchtime 1938

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• THE WHISTLER 2

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1

EDITORIAL

WHlstler VOL 1

SPRING/SUMMER 1992

HELLO SUMMER? Well, it's coming and Springtime always reminds Members of the real joy of the Club - the chance to lie around in our splendid garden.

Welcome to Summer, to a burgeoning LettersPage and a vibrant LonelyArts sec tion. The warm months take the pressure of the management as Members seem to forget about the issues that exercise them most when restricted indoors, issues

that seem to dominate the postbagof The Whistler.

Whilst I, as editor, am pleased that the magazine is beginning to be seen as an information exchange for Members, I mustpoint out that the Job is totally apoliti cal and that the editor, perforce, has no fixed opinion on anything. My personal views will, of course, appear in the letters pages from time to time with my name clearly attached.

I mention this point because I have been approached by a number of Members with complaints or worries that they wish to see.aired but are unwilling to be ident ified by name. This is not the editor's role and it has to be said that Committee or Council officers are always available for a confidential talk on anything to do with the Club. The magazine should raise issues, should be controversial and I am happy to translate bona fide concerns into print; however, these should be filtered through the suggestions box or the Council who will respect individual privacy.

There is a distinct feeling amongst the Membership that certain facets of the Club are run by cabals and that this is perceived by—let's say-more casual Members, as undemocratic if not oppressive. From conversations I have had and letters The Whistler has received, these facets are clearly defined as (1) Role and benefits of the Dining Room; (2) the domination of the Bar area by the Member's Only snooJcer table used by only a handful ofnon-artist Members; and (3) the erosion of

the quality and actualnumber of'real'artists in the Club membership.

An example of the wish for anonymity from correspondents could relate to the last point. Not a few wrote in to note the abysmal quality overall of the Smith's Gallery exhibits and their effect on the image of a Club that has Augustus John, Whistler and Phil May amongst its alumni. At the same time they did not want to

In this issue...

Letters

4

Past Impressions

7

Stanley Ayres Remembers

AGBI

8

Philip Hicks explains all

Artists'Re-Sale?

Comment

10 11

By Simon Lane & Bill Bingham

F\ct\on/\Nords

12

Patten/Johnson/lrwin/McGough

be identified as attackingthe organisers of the show who[obviously] worked very hard for totally unselfish motives.

It mightbe pointed out here that a fully functioning Clubpublication might be of immense value to these and other controversial issues. The Club newspaper, sent

to all Members directly by post, could easily operate a referendum on anysubject - or carrya 'reader's survey' - bywhich a consensus of opinion might be reached.

This would not only be, but be seen to be, independent of the office, management

or any politicking by our more forceful brethren. Reactions to thisideashould go

Colour Section

14

Our Man at the Bar

Exhibition Photo-File 17 Hugh Gilbert's Saucy Snaps(?)

straight to your friendly Councillor.

Finally, advertisers in The Whistler do so only because they want to attract busi ness. If you do not use their services or give them a chanceto quote, theywill not support the Club. Without advertising support there will be no Club 'paper -

Reports

20

Chess/Chairman's Letter/Council Notes

which is what our detractors have always claimed we could never get organised or

keep running. I would liketo prove them wrong.

Mike von Joel

THE WHISTLER is published by the Chelsea Arts Club, 143 Old Church Street, London SW3.

All material © THE WHISTLER EDITOR: MIKE VON JOEL CONSULTANT EDITORS: HUGH GILBERT D. WINTERBOTTOM PRODUCTION: PSi PRINTED BY: HIGHART LIMITED

COVER: GREAT TRADITIONS NUMBER 2

Every issue...

By popular demand: The new scintillating Lonely Arts Section All cartoons featured in this issue are from

Cartoons About Modern Art late Gallery Publications 1983 Price £2.95

® 071 376 3311

FAX: 071 351 5986

THE WHISTLER 3

God Bless the Old Bishop Dear Sir,

On behalf ofmy husband, Edward Bishop, I am writing to thank you and Hugh, the Chairman, for inviting Edward to the

meeting and dinner onthe 17th February of past Chairmen of the Club.

Alas,it will not be possible for Edwardto

The AGBI Clarified

come along but if he could have madeit, it would have given him the greatest pleasure.

them, in the blitzin a directhit,andhe,too, was buried alive in a shelter which was hit,

The position is this. Edward is now in his

lift-shaft for 5 hours and was finally

90th year and is now very frail after 10 weeks in hospital. He was givenone month to livein Septemberlast and choke to death

the shelter. So the permanency of the Club and the friends there helped him to get

but he managed to climb up a disused

Dear Sir, Most of the matters raised in the letters

about the AGBI are dealt with fully in the annual report and accounts of the AGBI,

younger he worked hard for the Club's well-being, particularly at the time of the First Redemption Fund, with Dennis Stevens, that most delightful fellow.

At the end of the war, the Club wasa sort of life-line to Edward and he lunched there most days — his family were killed, all 4 of

cases which have been helped by the AGBI that they deal sympathetically and humanely with cases of real hardship,

rescued. Only 5 escaped alive out of 150in

which is available to anyone who is

particularly with the infirm, the elderly and

from his throat cancer, or have a huge

"back into Life". He used to sit with

prepared to write to Mrs Rees, AGBI,

the recently orphaned. It is in no sense a

operation, which they doubted whether he

substitute for the state and is indeed not

could survive.

Charles Wheeler, Old Pitchforth, Ian Rowley, Harry Thieman, Old Bevan the

Burlington House, Piccadilly, WIV ODS, and request a copy. To criticise an organisation without even taking the trouble to read its annual report is to say the least unfair.

The AGBI is run by artists to help artists and their widows and orphans in time of severe hardship. The president and ten of the vice presidents arc practising artists.

The council of the AGBI has seventeen

practising artists on it, one member of the

medical profession and three members of the public who support the arts. Of that

state funded, but brings a human touch to its work which because it is largely run by artists, understands the problems and difficulties of those who earned their living by the practise of the arts.

sculptor and so on — all long since having died.

through! I brought him home, this frail old moth, with a button-hole in his lapel, sat

Edward is fortunate to still have his mind

him in a chair in the living room with a gin I can only repeat that my experience of

and tonic and said "YOU MADE IT". I am

and a reasonably good memory, so we go DOWN MEMORY LANE every evening

their work enthuses me to continue to do

taking care of him here at home with the help of the district nurses and doctors, and I'm hoping he has a little innings of great happiness and peace, perhaps even paint

when we have our gin and tonic (which he can swallow, thankfully) and we talk about the past when we were handsome, beautiful and young. Greetings to all.

my best to raise funds for the AGBI, and I hope that the Chelsea Arts Club will continue to support it with the enthusiasm

one or two small oils, who knows.

which I have for its efforts.

Edward has a great affection for the

little lot seven are members of the Chelsea Arts Club.

He opted for the operation, because he's a brave fellow, and with 8 tubes in his throat and 10 weeks later, he pulled

Yours sincerely

Chelsea Arts Club and when he was

Yours sincerely Celeste Bishop

Bill Michael

I have had over seven years experience in fund raising and work for the AGBI and can say from personal knowledge of many

See Philip Hicks article on AGBI in this issue. Ed

Mr Jeffrey Bernard?

Dear Sir,

Sir,

I have been commissioned by those

this venture and has already written about

magnificent publishers Sinclair-Stevenson

the book in his "Low Life" column in The

to write a biography of my fellow Chelsea Arts Club member Jeffrey Bernard (for

Spectator and has urged all his ex-wives, mistresses, acquaintances, friends (and enemies) to tell me the whole grisly truth, since he believes quite rightly that a biography is worthless unless it is brutally

publication in October 1992) and I would be very grateful for any material or memories that other members might be able to let me have as soon as possible — material either about Jeff himself or about

his family, particularly his father Oliver Bernard, who was a member in the 1920s

honest.

So any Home Truths, opinions, anecdotes and/or photographs would be much appreciated.

Graham Lord

him off. I think he does a good job and deserves all he gets.

Best wishes, Amanda Baker

Lamalou les Bains

offshoot, a class has since been organised to

34 Herault, France

workshop, and simple accommodation for

The standard in the dining room has

Tony probably doesn't need my help but

do Gallerie La Source

of about ten interesting students. As an

large and well lit studios, an etching

All I hear about is the rudeness of Tony in

I get annoyed when I hear others slagging

Simon Fletcher

soon I found myselfteaching a mixed group

reached an all-time low. I have witnessed

many examples of Tony's arrogance and cannot stay silent while he runs the place as his personal restaurant. He should be reminded that he is a Club employee running the dining room for the Members.

He should be polite, helpful and charming

want a Commissionnaire but neither do I

local galleries for exhibiting work done

By dressing more smartly they will have

during the time spent at Art Train. Th

project is funded by the Department de I'Herault and the Ville de Lamalou les

Bains. We are not looking to create yet another amateur summer school. We

coward and ask you not to print my name.

I know ours is a bohemian and informal

idea is to invite artists to come and work at Art Train while being available to discuss and demonstrate their work. There are

Lots of others think so too.

As I still eat there I will have to be a

Dear Sir,

visiting artists. There is also a sculpture Club but the appearance of the doormen court for the summer months and good fills me with despair. Why don't wepayfor cheap stone is plentiful in the region. The a smart pair of grey trousers and a blue

and be made to answer for his rudeness.

Name witheld by request

Attention!

premises. In need of repair, the building

Dear Sir,

booking.

time so I was anxious to avoid the

has enormous potential and will offer two

Dear Sir,

most pleasant and friendly and terribly helpful about fitting me in without a

interested in becoming involved in Art Train should write to the address below

organisational problems of setting up regular groups and finding premises. Very

interest and support in our "association" and offered us the old railway station as

Thumbs Up! Down? found all the staff — including Tony —

the end of the year but in the meantime we are hoping to run an outdoor landscape programme this summer. Any artist

enclosing photographs and details of recent exhibitions. A second European language is also an obvious advantage.

drawing.The Southern French are great art lovers and our local mayor quickly showed

Yours sincerely,

the dining room and the poor value for money. Can I just say that I have always

I am an artist living and working in France.

I was approached, some time ago, by a group of local amateurs keen to learn drawing, watercolours and pastel painting.

Although I was excited at the idea of teaching, my work as a painter and draughtsman puts heavy demands on my

teach children the rudiments of colour and

and 1930s.

Jeff appears rather foolishly to approve of

Gravy Train Tickets?

intend to choose the participants carefully and our aim is to offer professional artists the opportunity of working in a different

environment. Art Train will be ready by

THE WHISTLER 4

blazer with shirt and tie for them? I do not

want the present standard of informality. more credence and be seen to be

important. At present they are the first impression my guests havewhenthey come

inand sometimes it ispretty sloppy. On this point must they eat and drink while onduty in the hall? I think this looks awful.

Yours etc.

Hugh Mainwaring-Smith

made by Nick Tucker were in poor taste and I am sure that there was a certain

Behind the Green

Beige Door

Wet Suite

amount of upset caused by this.

Quite obviously we want a newspaper that is sparky and independent but I really

Dear Sir,

jokes at the expense of members.

do feel that it should not be used to make

Am I alone in bemoaning the lack of real

this in other bars

service in and around the bar? Yes, we can and do get drinks and yes, Bridie does smile

g) crisp and immediate service — I would

Another letter (I'm sure you have many) about our lavatories. I am still being dripped on while using the urinals. Last week while I was at stool my feet were almost submerged in water — the cistern

rather have slickness than slackness —

had overflowed. The door has been

a bit but its all a bit half-hearted. Can I

indeed I would rather the atmosphere were

removed from the urinals but still the raw

suggest;

like an efficient cocktail bar than a dirty public bar h) happy hour should be from 6 till 7.30

wood shows where the hinges were. All very sloppy and rather symptomatic of illustration was meant to be in the same vein. things at present.

There was ofcourse absolutely no intention to I'm sorry to write in this manner but at insult Nick or to imply that when he is on such least you know where you stood with the ' an assignment he is anything but thoroughly old loos — these are a dreadful professional. The photographs he has disappointment. contributed to the magazine to date ably

Dear Sir,

a) trained bar staff— maybe with uniforms or at least smartly dressed and not with t-shirts and jeans b) more staff who could offer service to the

rather than at present i) What about a "Wine of the month" on special offer?

tables

c) tables being cleaned more regularly of empty glasses and dirty ashtrays d) a better way of taking the money then constant to-ing and fro-ing. Are the staff incapable of adding up like staff in pubs or

Can Dudley mastermind it or should the Club get a professional in to get the whole operation back on course? Probably the

bars elsewhere?

latter — and soon.

e) more exciting bar snacks f) crisps and peanuts put out for members on the bar and on tables — we would get

Francis Pearson

Yours sincerely, Patrick McKnight

Club Gong?

Yours sincerely,

A Who's Who Needed?

Dear Sir,

differentiation between artistMetnbers andtheKest. Asoneof the'Rest' lhave

a\waysputth\sdowtvXopcTsona\ paranoia and taken on board the restrictions it places on the options one has to serve the cause or even become Chairman!

It was on receiving a recent Club missive about the recruitment ofnew Members and

the number of'places'that had become available, that/decided to inspect, for once, the actual list ofartist Members - that is, Members who are listed as artists and

definition of the Chelsea Arts Club. I'm so

incensed by this discovery that, despite the risk ofappearing old womanish, I intend to asV.tbeCourvcilto investigate and support tbelist of nameslbave prepared (not to be published here). If they cannot— and the original sponsors ought to be put on the spot—there should be a serious programme of 'redefinition' undertaken. lam, of course, not talking about

throwing people out of the Club, but clearing the decks might open the way for a few more critically acclaimed professionals. We need them more than ever before.

Ed

Picturesque

to offer people free (and presumably,

over a year now — and they are all dirty.

lifelong) memberships. Are Honourary

Some may need relining. I suggest that the Chairman is asked to get a professional in

Members subject to the same rules as regular members? Can they be thrown out?

In my opinion an Honourary Membership should only be given to the most eminent of arts personalities or for

to report to the Council about the state of

the pictures and we should then force something to be done.

exceptional services to the Chelsea Arts

Yours in horror,

Club. The process of any such awards should also be seen to be absolutely

Jane Dickerson

democratic!

Yours sincerely Gerald Makepeace

Yours sincerely, Mike von Joel

Keep on

Tucking

Pull The Other One

is well known in the Club and the

contribution overall was supposed to be a light-hearted and often tongue-in-cheek report. If any offence was caused to Nick's friends and associates, or indeed to him, we would not hesitate to apologise unreservedly.

I've heard on the Club grapevine that we are encouraging the policy of Honourary Memberships. This should be persued with extreme caution. It is one thing to invite Dear Sir, eminent people to join the Club — by which I mean they are invited to jump the The paintings in the dining room are a queue — but it is another thing altogether disgrace. The big picture is still damaged —

therefore full Members.

I can tell you that I was appalled at the sheer number of persons credited as artists who are unequivocally not so within the

The splendid travel item by Nick Tucker was quite obviously, for those who took the trouble to read it, a witty and humourous piece about one of Nick's photographic assignments. The introduction and

demonstrate this. Nick Tucker's sense offun I don't know who should revitalise this.

Dear Sir,

One of my pet niggles with the Club since the day I joinedhas always been the

Yours sincerely Amanda Neville

No Nudes is Good News?

Dear Sir,

If any member was offended by the recent publicity surrounding the exhibition.

Ordinary People, one is truly sorry.

Dear Sir,

Dear Sir,

Yours sincerely

On my way to and from Japan I always stay

got to the Club it was so painfulI had to get

at the Club, which I joined in 1966. Happy memories, mostly. Two unhappy ones. Not

a fixfrom the local physician. I got back just in time for lunch, went upstairs to wash

long after I became a member, I was chased

before I ate and found a mouse on the bed.

round one of the snooker tables by a drunk with a knife, who said he hated Scotsmen.

I killed it with my bottle of duty free gin, and threw the corpse out of the window.

When I went up to my room again for a siesta, I found a bird had flown in through the open window and dropped its anal cargo on my beautiful new briefcase.

I popped downstairs and said to a new

And last September, I was attacked again.

It all started when I picked up the sleeper train at Avignon. A strike had curtailed the service direct to Calais ""''•n Montpellier so I had a good dinner at the Papal City and flung myself down on the bunk at 22.39, asleep by 23.40. I always sleep naked, as a wasp discovered, stinging me beneath the armpit and raising a lump like a grapefruit.

I felt nothing at the time, crushing it with some sort of reflex action, but by the time I

I am pleased that we have got a Club magazine up and running but I was rather upset at the treatment metered out to some of the contributors. I thought the comments attached to the interesting contribution

Don Grant

This refers to the corridor exhibition

featuring humourous studies of members of the Royal Family. Ed

ORLANDO'S BUBBLE COMP No.2 DINNER FOR TWO WITH WINE FOR THE BEST QUIP RECEIVED BY 10TH OCTOBER

girl in the office: "If the RSPCA calls, say there'll be nothing from the Professor today."

Yours sincerely Roy MacGregor Hastie

THE WHISTLER 5

Winner: Robin Whitecross, ixworth Place SW3.

Caption: (Blank)

PHOTOGRAPH: NICK TUCKER

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I

THE LAST AGM INCLUDED AN EXCITED AND VOCIFEROUS INTERCHANGE ABOUT THE OLUB S INVOLVEMENT

WITH THEAGBI, ALONG ESTABLISHED, AND WHOLLY CHARITABLEASSOCIATION THAT HELPS ARTISTS IN NEED

THE AGBI ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW The last AGM asked some

questions on the relationship of the Club to the AGBI and some of the points made took on the guise of veiled accusations. All the issues raised at that meeting are answered here in full.

By Philip Hicks.

Letters, critical of the

AGBI, appeared in this magazine's

last issue from Mike von Joel and

Niel Bally. It seems there is confusion about what the AGBI does, how it doesit and who we are. I would like to try and clarify things first by commenting on points raised in these letters, and then by a brief description of how we operate.

Mike von Joel was worried by our

"mysterious operation" and made some

suggestions to counter this "mystery" so I am happy to tell him that we already pub lish an annual report with auditedaccounts.

You can see our income and expenditure, where it comes from and how it isspent.We

do not reveal names of grant recipients as we agree with Mike that "artists should not

be embarrassed by having their circum stances made public", and we operate a system of complete confidentiality with re

gardto applicants,as is required also by our bye-laws. However we are only toopleased if they care to tellpeople how they have be nefited. I first heard of the AGBI through a sculptor friend who had been badly injured telling me how he as being helped, and I

\

have been a subscriber ever since,

In our annual report you will also find a section where some typical cases are briefly

described, again as Mike suggested, and anyone who came to our AGM last Nov

emberwould have heard BernardDunstan,

the then Chairman, describe yet more typiTHE WHISTLER 8 I '.J.t I

IVV -t' • ,

FIRST IMPRESSION STANLEY AYRES

Good Old Days? ^'Fred Bergen was the first barman and the first male chef, up to that time we had a live-in lady cook. There was a bottle of gin, a small barrel of beer, a

for his butler as he has for his wife. Max

is excellent, he is like what we used to have, the sort of barman who would al

small enamel bowl of water and a cloth

ways address the Members as Sir and nothing else. We had a lot of Knights'

for washing the glasses. He had half a dozen whisky glasses and half a dozen

and Lords' in here but they didn't get treated any differently."

pint glasses and that is how it was done.

Then he said: 'it is a pity you haven't got a day job', the Club told him 'it is a pity you are not a chef -and he said: 'I am!'

So he carried on the following day with his complete uniform on, high hat and the whole lot. He came from a catering family, and he cooked here for 6 years.

It was a long time before we even had a barman, we used to get our drinks from a little door in the corridor, just outside the Dining Room door. In the passage was a stable door, the top op en^ for the steward to look out and

"There were only full Members, there were no other types. I joined the Club in 1944 and I was in the rescue service at

that time, many people were still in the Army, most of them in uniform. We thought it would be a nice idea to have more people but we couldn't afford to have more associates. I put it forward that we might have 'associate Mem bers' but they would have to pay. It seemed to attract the medical profes sion, they were all selected very care fully. When I joined you paid 3 guineas entrance fee and 3 guineas annual sub

serve drinks, beer or whisky or what ever you wanted. We used to sit on the scription, that was in 1944. It had gone stairs during the war, the place wasn't on like that for many many years - I heated and we couldn^t afford fuel so a

few people played billiards in their over coats. It was alright in the summer but YQ the winter you just sat around inyour overcoat."

witnessed the last of what had been

going on for manyyears.

Vm 75 and there are older people

"I have a painting of this Club which was in the Royal Academy in 1952. It is

"Arts Club Ball: I was a student at the

alone a parking meter to be seen.

Change came slowly, when Dudley came of course everything changed. It was then all the staff addressed you in a familiar way, which I always thought was wrong because it leads to contempt.

I think it is much better to have it prof essional and if a waiter is a waiter he is a

professional waiter and he enjoys doing it properly. If a butler is a butler, he won't take a job if he has to call his boss 'mate'. A man will have as much respect

cher'. The ceiling was already beginn ing to sag a bit and so Tom got prop

poles and planks and slowly wound it back into place. Fortunately no dam age was done on either side. That was the Ladies' Bar. If you wanted to take

plate and it was attended by tailed waiters. Then one day somebody threw

was quite rightly for men who would

room, the billiards and snooker room

and a lot of people who suffered from

use men's language. Everybody was happy with that situation, it was a very

chest ailments had to be taken to hos

nice period.

a smoke bomb in the middle of the Ball

pital - we had a lot to answer for. The Royal Box was always ready in case we had a Royal audience - our General Manager Loris Rey said he had to go answer

as

to

how

this

crime

occurred."

"Ladies: 1 can't remember the exact

time, it was about the mid or late 60's. I was Vice Chairman at one time and it

was just before or after. Some Mem bers had had to give up their London houses and move out to places like Epsom and unless they could bring their wives down they couldn't get here. So we decided that we'd have

cocktail parties now and again because otherwise we only had ladies in twice a year - the tradition from way back was Midsummer Night and Twelfth Night.

The New Year Ball was very gracious, people who didn't wear fancy dress wore evening dress like any other formal dance. The place was lit up and the garden was all illuminated with lan terns - all very elegant. It had a small five piece band which played waltzes.

It didn't seem to make a lot of differ

Royal College with Bob Wheeler and Ruskln Spear bad just left. We used to get Ball tickets cheap as students and

ear plugs in and stand it."

said: 'no as a matter of fact he's a but

your wife in you could only use that

ence, cocktail parties once a week on Saturdays, but then they began having them on Wednesdays and more often to get the ladies in. Then they decided it would be a good idea if ladies could join: they paid less subscriptibn and

the lawn and leave it..."

put any strengtheners in there. He asked if this chap was a builder. We

was a four course meal served on silver

lhau me here, but 1 think 1 am the only one that has had a consistent member

else, we were always open till 11 o'clock every night regardless of rules.

We got a fellow in to cut a great hole through the wall, he came in and star ted bashing away and Tom, who knew all about architecture, said they haven't

supper was included in the ticket. This

and

ship right the way through. I've never "Tradition kept this Club going and the missed a year's subscription. Some 10 businessmen, sculptors and painters years ago I was made a Life Member. I were very efficient - they knew how to go back 57 years as a Member and I've invest, and they invested our money to used it regularly, the garden is much keep it going. The most thumbed peri the same, same shape with flowers odicals in the Club in those days were round. There were great elm trees that the Financial Times and the Geograph got Dutch Elm Disease and had to ical magazines. There was a shelf in the come down, so we planted those and lounge (now the loggia) where you sat they have worked very well. Kept the and had your bread and jam and pot of noise away and stopped people over tea for 6d. You'd get in through the looking us. We had a lady over there snooker room or the other way round who was always complaining about the from the Dining Room, it stopped you Club, she had never been in it. Appar having a snooker cue in your earhole. ently the woman had been a magi Along the wall was a shelf with all the strate. We used to write to all those periodicals of the day and they went no people over there and warn them, further than that lounge - you put them everybody took it as it was in the old back afterwards. Now they pick up the days, they saw it as ChelseaArts Club 'paper, tear it to pieces or throw it on and you mustn't say anything, put your

of this road and there wasn't a car let

all taken very seriously.

You had two rugger teams with ropes that held the crowd back to leave a path for the floats, which would go around three times and then they would take the ropes away and let the crowd rip them to pieces - and the people on them as well. But the Ball got out of hand tow ards the end. After the war the wrong people were getting in, the people with all the money were the scrap metal dealers and they would bring along all their mates. When I first had supper up in the balcony of the Chelsea Arts Ball,

"Augustus John was still here. There were the Council Members, the Chair man, we never had a President, there was the Treasurer and the Hon. Sec

retary. There were rules and wherever you went you kept your place, they

didn't half look after the Club though. I can never remember anybody being thrown out, they used to get suspended for bad behaviour. There were only Members you see, we knew everybody and you could come In with a crowd. If

there was some strange person it was a guest - you signed in your guest. It was like a private house and you were put in charge of the household if you were Chairman of the House Committee.

You ate in the Member's Dining Room, I don't know why recently it has been called a restaurant, I have never heard

of a restaurant in a club before, it is

absolutely ridiculous. I've told Dudley about it two or three times and he apo logised and altered it - but he always puts it back. I think he has done an awful lot of good, we couldn't have run the place without him, but some little

things I feel he has dodged on. It is the Members' Dining Room not a re staurant for the public, there are far too many guests allowed in the Club. I eat vegetarian food and it doesn't suit me

before 1 was a Member of the Club we

could use all the Club facilities but not

verywell. I usedtohave lunch every day

had to come here where they were

the billiards room, we had another bar

issued

George

especially built on the other side. It is

except Saturday and it cost about 2/6d.

It was just toad in the hole or steak &

Sherwood Foster. He ran it as though it was his private party for years and years, we used to have these big floats from each college. We had one day to prepare for it but the floats were made well in advance, we'd build them on a lorry shell from a breaker's yard and

now a little hatch, then it was a proper bar with a screen between the two. Ley Kenyon and I had that built, I said we have got to have a pub or something that looks like a proper bar. You could

by

a

man

called

they would have lasted forever. It was

see all our Members around the local

pubs and they only came in here when they couldn't get a drink anywhere

THE WHISTLER 7

kidney pie - usual club fare with jam sponge or jam roll after. Part of the constitution of the Club said it was where artists could meet, socialise and

get a meal for a reasonable price. I am

glad to see it is still here and it can only be as it is today. I'm not necessarilysay ing it was always better then...

cal cases to the meeting. The names of our overheads: more staff, more office-space, Council members, Honorary Officers and more printing, advertising, PR costs etc, staff are ail published in the report, our and this is a risk situation which needs high address and phone number are in the book

so I don't think our operation is mysterious or closed in any way. Whether we should advertise ourselves more in another mat ter.

Nie! Bally raises a number of points. First we do not pay for private education if a parent, however distressed, simply prefers

it to the state system (we quite often get asked). But very occasionally we will do so in special circumstances. For example a

justification before embarking on. Niel's remarks about musicians, actors, and film

makers all making vast amounts of "expendable income" (presumably to come our way?!) is a nice idea but they have their own charities to support and are hit by recession like anyone else.

We are said to be "gentrified and nepotistic" — his quotes — who is he quoting?

— I don't understand these words in this

context but taking them at their face value

and in financial need because of it. We can

about how best we can help. Occasionally it is decided that the problems are outside our

help an unborn baby or someone in their

remit.

tress through ill-health, accident or old age,

nineties. We can help wives, husbands, par tners, children, orphans, widows, widowers. We cannot help a person who is in need for reasons unconnected with phys

Sometimes a case comes in which is

thought to be so urgentthat aid cannot wait till the next meeting, so we have a proce

ical distress or accident, i.e. their work has

dure whereby an emergency grant can be agreed immediately, probably on the

gone out of fashion, they have been dropped by their dealer, a contract has been reneged on, they are in dispute with

a ceiling on the amount and it has to be re ported to Council at the next meeting

their studio landlord or whatever. We

where the application will be considered in

cannot help an able-bodied artist with exhi bition expenses, we are a charity not a grant-awarding body like the Arts Council.

full.

phone, by the Honorary Officers. There is

Some of our cases need one-off help but

most are longer term. For these we have a

•X

'I think it was along about here that he slipped a disc' young widow left with a daughter, lives deep in the country, has to work full-time, cannot accompany daughter to and from local comprehensive. Lonely country walk.

Dark in winter. Boarding is only alternat ive. Or, a handicapped child needs specia list remedial teaching not available locally in the state schools. We also maintain a few

places at Christ's Hospital, itself a charity, which benefit children of single parents or orphans.

He asks why our capital is so little (£3.5

million) and compares it to the Henry Moore Foundation (£50 million) and the Winston Churchill Memorial Fund (£14 million). It is obvious that we have neither the advantage of a world famous name

backing our fund raising or, as in Moore's case, the huge funds generated by edition casting of his bronzes at massive prices.

Our capital compares with other small com parable charities, the National Advertising Benevolent Society for instance, at a little over £3 million, and up to now our income

New Yorker, 10 Oct. 1959 (David Langdon o 1959)

the thirty or so officers and council mem bers of the AGBI are mainly practising artists and sculptors, but include a critic, lettering designer, stained-glass artist, des igner-illustrator, architect, doctor, artdirector. They cover a broad professional spectrum. Their breeding is irrelevant. If by nepotistic he means we look after our fellow professionals he's right, that's why we're there, but if he means we look after our relations, children or friends then he is

wrong as I shall show.

His remark that as a charity he does not consider us "that serious" made me angry.

If Mr Bally could see the misery and suffer ing that faces us at our monthly council meetings which we do our best to alleviate, the amount of work our voluntary stewards do every year to raise funds, the amount of work our council members do, all of them

over many years, voluntarily, paying their own expenses, some travelling consider ably distances to meetings, not to mention the care and dedication of our full-time

A few examples. We have helped an artist who fell through his studio skylight sev erely injuring his working hand; one whose studio burnt down shortly before a show; one who suffered a stroke and needed

specialist treatment fast, not to be found on the National Health, to recover movement

and speech; one whose wife contracted Alzheimers and needed 24 hour care. Many old people need full-time residential care.

The DSS pays up to a certain ceiling. We pick up the shortfall. We are giving aid to about 200 people at this moment.

system where every 12 months a report on their current circumstances is considered

by a Case Committee, 4 or 5 members, which meets monthly, and decides on the level of help an applicant needs for the fol

lowing year. We are thus kept regularly in touch with the problems of all our app licants. I should add that personal contact is made with all applicants, some by or through members of council, the majority by our Secretary. A great deal of her time is spent visiting people in their homes all over the country.

Cases are referred to us from all over the

country and in all sorts of ways. Obviously through the art-world network of societies, clubs and so forth, but also through the so cial services, doctors, clergymen and other charities. Most cases are not known person ally to council members. What are our criteria for accepting someone as a prof

I would imagine that most club members are familiar with our system of Stewards who every year give time and effort to fund raising for us, mainly through the associa tions and societies they are members of.

essional artists?

applicants cannot thank them enough. In

Our net is wider than it used to be. It has

Suffice to say that around one third of our income is raised like this and we and all our that context I want to thank Bill Michael

included designers, craftspeople, fine art photographers, performance artists, tea chers of art. We look at their training, qual ifications, CV, whether they have earned from their art, and at original specimens of

especially who has acted as the club ste

help members understand and know more about us, and if anyone should have con structive ideas which might help us in our work please send them to the AGBI, Bur lington House, Piccadilly, London, WIV

has been sufficient for our needs. We have

staff, then I think he would wish to with

never, to my knowledge, refused anyone what they needed because we hadn't got the money.

draw and apologise for that ill-researched comment. To a terminally ill cancer suf ferer the AGBI cheque that lifts his widow,

However with the rising costs of care and the increase in life expectancy we may find ourselves in difficulty, the recession isn't helping, andwe are watching the situation carefully. Theproblem is that to raise sign ificantly more funds you have to increase

as she will become, out of debt is serious

work. Our most difficult discussions are

indeed.

often

He asks "who does the money go to anyway?". The answer is as follows. Under our charter we can help any professional artist or their dependants who are in dis-

someone as professional, but this has to be settled first. Only after an applicant has been accepted as eligible, do we learn of their problems. Then the discussion is

about

THE WHISTLERS

whether

we

can

accept

ward for seven years now, a unique contri bution, and at the same time all my fellow members who have contributed so gener ously over the years. I hope this article will

ODJ.

•

achievements, are expected to survive in the direst poverty.

It is a common procedure for recently be reaved widows of artists belonging to the various societies and institutions to receive a sudden inflow of visits from dealers intent

/

on buying up job lots. The widow, for reasons previously explained, may be for ced through poverty to succumb to this and later see the works selling at massively in creased prices, denied to the artist and his family throughout his life.

Times change, the artists of the past had a different structure to work within, engrav ing rights for copies of their paintings gave a good income before the advent of photo graphy. There was a substantial network of patrons. Large commissions for com memorative works took place.

At present the sole income for many artists are sales through the commercial gallery system. This brings with the need for survival the inherent dangers of all that commercialism implies. A situation which ultimately benefits neither artists, dealers or buyers.

A proper income does not ensure a fine work but fine work is eventually, despite the myth, crushed by unending poverty.

Very many countries have re-sale rights.

Why does England not have this law? In The Art Newspaper November issue no. 12, there was a substantial article on the cur rent situation with Droit de Suite. Rene

Gimpel of the Gimpel Fils Gallery London spoke in favour of re-sale rights for artists.

Quote; "The public image of the trade would benefit from a healthier approach to the market were it to accept that royalties should be paid to the artist or his/her heirs.

Generally the trade is perceived as mer

Droit de Suite

cenary, regardless of whether or not this is true. Where the secondary market \s con cerned, the speculative nature of the trans actions is so blatant that it would help if

Proposal for Artists' Rights on Re-Sale The fact that the auction houses exist is

dealers were to be seen to be more caring.

Third, the general tenor of ethics within the art world within this country is zero; on the

rights were fought for by the bodies con

proof enough that the art market exists on the frequent sale and re-sale of the artists' work. The artist is alone in being the only person in the line who receives no financial

fairly honest. In the public press (mag azines) the art world lays claims to higher values — the nobility of the arts and so

cerned.

benefit from these transactions.

IN EVERY OTHER field of the Arts the Artist receives some sort of royalty or performing right for the use of his or

her work after the initial transaction. These

Visual Artists alone receive nothing.

Auctioneers, speculators, collectors and dealers are the sole beneficiaries of the pro fits from the often frequent re-sale of the

COMMENT

continent it is zero minus; in America it is

forth; but these do not hold where financial

would be relatively simple, the dealer or auctioneer contacting a central registry

The initial sale, with the exception in some cases in falsely inflated times, will be the lowest price the work will ever sell for.

This being the general and accepted rule in the art world for all serious professional painters; in the instances where this does not apply, it will be more often than not due

fore accountability, would improve the

to the misjudgement of the quality of the

trade's ethical position."

which would then distribute to the Artist or

work by the dealer.

DEIDRE DAINES

Artist's work.

The implementation of re-sale rights

his heirs.

EEC countries except England, Ireland,

Re-sale rights for visual artists apply in Fr

Greece and the Netherlands, who for dif

ance, Germany, Iceland, Belgium Port

currently planning to introduce them. The

ferent reasons did not adhere to the part icular provision dealing with artists re-sale rights. In the 1970's VARS The Visual Artists Rights Society took up a campaign for re-sale rights jointly with the Inter national Association of Art, The Art Regis

percentage varies in these countries from

tration Committee and The Artists Union.

l%-20%.

This campaign for the needs of artists in England appears to have been ignored by the government.

ugal, Spain, Monaco, Brazil, The Phil ippines, Hungary, Tunisia, California Czechoslovakia. Denmark gained Re-sale

Rights in March 1991 and Switzerland is

The present Conservative government has said that they have little interest in Re-sale Rights for Artists. The Labour spokesman for the Arts appears to be more amenable although it seemsthat without Artists mak ing their needs known Resale Rights are

ployed in every conceivable tax fraud; but unlike the case with the Mafia and drug dealers, the art trade puts on airs and graces. Anything that contributes to a better recording of transactions, and there

This profiteering is often blatantly ex-

In January 1993 there is situation for the

pressed on catalogues and advertisements; quote by Edward Lucie Smith for the Cool

possibility of re-sale rights that has never

ing Gallery "in ten years time, many of these works being shown will seem like fan tastic bargains".

existed before.

It could

be that the

European Commission issues a Directive which requires all countries to introduce

Droit de Suite. It may not.

What now could make all the difference

The argument leading from this is that if the artist's price increases so much what is there to complain of. Outwardly there is sense in this. The reality with the commis sion to the gallery being 40% to 60% or more (possibly enormous expenses in volved in producing the work ie; sculpture

is a strong expression of artists' needs and

wishes by artists. In the first instance by means of a signed petition, representation on committee level and representation mostespeciallyvia the European MPs. The

most important points being a good per

casting, model fees, studio fees, framing,

centage and the manner of effective im plementation.

private view costs) means that on sale of the original work there is no profit.

Proof of this, although for obvious

your readers who believe in these ideas and

wish toputtheir signature tothe petition or

reasons names cannot be used, are the app

contribute further, contact the address below:

negotiations. The Brussels Copyright Con

The case for re-sale right for artists could be stated as follows; The law already re cognises the principle of the artists continu ing rights with the Intellectual Property Act and the Copyright Act of 88. Artists have automatic copyright even in the case of

vention of 1948 dealt with copyright and re

commissioned work. Droit de Suite is an

lications each year to the Artists General Benevolent Fund from Artists of sound re

sale rights and was signed in Brussels by all

overdue extension of this existing right.

putation who, however respected for their

considered of small importance in their

transactions are concerned. Art is em

THE WHISTLER 10

It would assist the campaign if any of

34A, Eardley Crescent, London SW5 9JZ #

fect medium.What more imperfect a medium than Duchamp's celebrated

COMMENT SIMON LANE

urinal?

Critic as Artist?

I am an author, not acritic. Iprofessto

no critical faculty which extends beyond the subjective and the sensual.

I appreciate such grave concerns as "narrative" and "characterization"; but I am more impressed by the fact that Vladimir Nabokov, for example, proved himself to be a better stylist in my language than most of my compatriots since the days of Laurence Sterne, particularly in view of

(vintage 1976) vociferous enough in his Freudianism to have made Nabokov turn in

art? What is a work of fiction? A vain re

his grave, for whom Salvador Dali might just as well have been a Viennese therapist and Giotto a Jungian parvenu. But at least he had a sense of humour, a quality of con siderably greater importance than is popu larly accepted, on the part of the critic as much as his subject matter.

Is it actually true that artists can survive

flection of the author's meandering course

without critics, but that critics cannot sur

through life, a pot-pourri of autobiographi cal irrelevance posing as narrative? Or the cold and objective projection of ideas dis guised as men and women, who may or may

vive without artists? Is this not, in any

sonality", a pure anachronism and a joke possibly at Oscar Wilde's own expense.

How does the artist conceal himself, if, in

deed, that is what it takes to produce good

the fact that Russian, not English, was his Muttersprache (Thank you; Mutter). Who else, indeed, might have transformed gonad into an epithet (the enchanting gon-

not love each other, hate each other or, eventually, kill each other (usually on the

adal)l

The necessity of education, self-inflicted or otherwise, becomes apparent. We must

I do not tread carefully in the porridge of Twentieth Century art and literature. My shoes squeak as I move from room to room (a comfortable enough abode in which rhyme and alliteration are unwelcome house guests). I am interested in the beauty of surface, but not superficiality, in the cap rice of innocent storytelling which is typified by the educated South American (Borges, Marques, Vargas Llosa) and in the immutable and incorrigible doggedness of the lonely and bewildered scribe, labour ing in a world so lost to the faded and jaded.

Above all, I appredate artists without pre judice, my own prejudice being that 1 pre fer the sound of a grinding pencil to a grin ding axe. My own capabilities are limited, but I confess to being a good writer and not a bad one, a rule of thumb which might appeal to any accountant or plumber.

"Books are well written or badly written.

The analysis of art has always been sub ject to a kind of "ddformation professionelle" as far as the critic is concerned, as well as to his place in the history of events. Fashions come and, thankfully, go.

I recall an art history tutor at art school

event, a technicality? What concerns me more, the amount of good writing wasted on bad art, or the amount of bad writing wasted on good art? "All art is quite use less,quipped Wilde. Of course it is! I favour the voice of his quirky invention, Gilbert: "More difficult to do a thing than to talk about it?" he asks of his friend, Er

nest. "Not at all. That is a gross popular error. It is very much more difficult to talk about a thing than to do it... anyone can make history. Only a great man can write it." Well, at least that should please my critics.

#

1. The Preface: "The Picture of Dorian Gray" 2. The Preface: "The Pictureof Dorian Gray" 3. From the anthology: "Music at Night" 4. "Transparent Things"

5. The Preface: "The Picture of Dorian Gray" 6. The Preface: "The Picture of Dorian Gray"

COMMENT BILL BINGHAM

last or penultimate page)? What, to revert to the banal, is good art?

avoid what has been written before! The

lazy autodidact is upbraided for inadvert ently copying a predecessor's title or reenacting some sad and distant encounter noted for its unconventionality. Ah! But the thoroughly versed practitioner of the art carefully alludes to some little known scribbler (an obscure. Thirteenth Century Balkan) and is congratulated by the wellinformed critic. Placing myself somewhere between the two, I count myself high on the list in the "simple" category. Give me an

Copyright: Painting Lags Behind Other Visual Arts I HAD ASTERN phone call the other

disputes it".

Things can also get complicated when night from a friend who's a rather good photographer, "Why has the Whistler you talk about pictures of pictures. New published my picture of you without giving member Peter Unsworth described to me my byline?". I explained I'd simply handed what happened when he agreed to do a over one of the 200 or so publicity cards left book-cover for his novelist brother Barry. imal instinct! I wish to stare into a sunset, over from 5 years ago, which I dish out in As it happened, blood being thicker than recapture ignorance, marvel at a glowing eternal hope to potential employers, film paint, they were able to reach a happy red so preposterous that 1 fancy it might • and television casting directors etc., for agreement. This meant Barry could mess about with Peter's work to his own satisfac have slipped from the cover of a box of Mike von Joel to use in his council election tion — not mutilating it exactly, but chan nougat! piece.

No effect, in fact it prompted a further ging it a bit to suit the theme of his book.

Aldous Huxley, that considerable, myopic attack on the firm who produced the cards The deal Allowed the work to be altered.

But on another occasion, quite out of the intellect, to the rescue! "The pleasures of from her original 10 x 8 (a firm called blue Peter discovered another work of his Walkerprint) for not automatically includ ignorance are as great, in their way, as the on the cover of a book about cricket. No ing her name at the side of each picture.

That is all,"^'^ wrote Oscar Wilde. pleasures of knowledge," he writes, in the permission had been sought so he sued I was surprised she was so cross, but hav Oscar Wilde! That sad and bloated essay entitled "Meditation on El Greco"^^^ ing thought about it, and chatted to a few through the Picaddilly Gallery. He got genius, whose withering barrage of The painting he selects for consideration. aphorism and epigram turns the head and Dream of Philip II becomes for Huxley, people, i realise she has a point. She's not £1,500. If he'd been asked properly, he'd have received about £600. Pirates take saddens the heart. I negotiate with care the "...an enigmatic nightmare of whales and alone by any means, either. note. provocative and flippant prose which is his Jonahs." Delightful and witty, this text pro hallmark, chuckling inwardly at those motes wide freedom of expression on the It's actually the fault of painters that photo truths so elegantly dressed in humour. part of the observer/critic. "One of these graphers have been so badly treated over I had a chat about photographs, repro "The artist is the creator of beautiful days I may discover what the picture is copyright and recognition for so long. 19th ductions and illustrations to a BBC Late Showproducer lured to the club by the pro things. To reveal art and conceal the artist about," he concludes. "And when that has Century portrait painters were deeply sus

happened I shall no longer be at liberty to impose my own interpretations."

The methods of interpretation are limi

demanded that the law should treat photo

tless, of course. "Novice must learn to skim

graphy and engraving as a "copying" pro

Beauty, indeed! Elsewhere, in "The Critic as Artists", Wilde sets up an amiable en

over matter if they want to stay at the exact

cess only.

Recent legislation, (the Copyright, Des

ough confrontation between two men, Gil

"Transparent things, through which the

bert and Ernest, the former defending crit icism, the latter dismissing it. For my part, the problem is never quite resolved be cause the argument itself is too complex, too equivocal. I am unsure whether or not I should veer towards pure, animal instinct, in order to compensate for all that intellectualism; but then, William Shakespeare, amongst others, predicated his work on the horns of such a dilemma, never really sol ving the problem, just illustrating it. One thing is certain: it will never go away. If it did, there would be no artists, no phil osophers, no psychiatrists... and no critics,

past shines!"^'^L

is art's aim. The critic is he who can trans late into another manner or a new material

his impression of beautiful things.

for that matter.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's

aim." No room here for the "cult of the per

level of the moment," writes Nabokov.

But we must turn our weary eyes (the method and metaphor of perception, as Huxley knew all too well) to a rather more anarchic figure, Marcel Duchamp, for a fresh and startling shock to our senses, for, not only did this iconoclast undermine practically every precept related to the fab rication and criticism of art this century, he was also bold enough to propose that bad art is as valid as good art, in the same way in which a bad emotion is "still an emotion."

Perhaps Wilde was more ahead of his time than we give him credit, when he stated that "the moral life of man forms part of the subject matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imper

picious of the new-fangled technique which was gaining so much popularity and they

igns and Patents Act, 1988) has at last strai ghtened things out between them, which means photographers can now be re cognised as being the "authors" (the creators) of their commissions, and enjoy the same status as writers, composers, illus trators and all the rest.

So, as with painters, copyright generally remains the property of the photographer, unless a special deal is made. But it's aggra vating to enforce it, and it's sometimes in appropriate or uncomfortable to start in sisting on your legal rights when you're in the early stages of a commission.

Club member Ray Wilson is a designer who

has a wry viewof attitudes to copyright. He says, "Copyright is like a divorce settle ment — it's never an issue until someone

THE WHISTLER 11

mise of a good lunch. The show gets through mountains of material in its con

stant search for visually appealing aspects of our artistic culture. Every known branch of the oral/aural, visual even visceral arts

(and someevenyouhave never heard of) is examined by the Late Show's eagle-eyed researchers. There's a constant turnover of

material through their hungry video-tape machines.

The lunch helped her to reveal a lot about the ways of the electric media. Prod ucers do seem to have their hearts in the

right place and claim they make a lot of ef

fort to give proper credit and payment where they can. "If you sincerely, and In Good Faith, do your best to track down the owner of the copyright, you're unsuccess

ful, and you include it in the programme (in other words "publish") the 'in good faith' should cover you in any legal action," she explained.

The Association of Photographers are a very cheery institution who're feeling much

happier about the lot of their members these days, nowthat they're able to work to proper contracts. They publish a useful booklet, "The Photographers' Guide to the 1988 CopyrightAct", and told me they'd be delighted to send you one at a special

It's particularly helpful over things like re touching and ownership of materials, privacy, and most usefully describes a good

Chelsea Arts Club price of £3.50, inc pos tage. They'll only charge you £3.00 if you collect one in person from this address:

(address and phone number on request),

WORDS PETER JOHNSON

way of dealing with slow payers.

Incidentally, that Whistler picture of me was taken by Catherine Shakespeare Lane who receives this official though belated

acknowledgment, but no additional fee.

She'll have to sue.

#

GEORGE STUBBS

And dragging thebones and flesh

Who would guess this passionate man

He plants these great animals,

Strung horse carcasses up, stinking Hisstudio with theirflesh.

The Association of Photographers 9-10 Domingo Street

Like a watchful surgeon

LONDON ECIY OTA

Satpatiently devouring Each line ofthe dead beast Forourfavoured mansions.

FICTION BRIAN PATTERN

Tall Tales from the Billiard Room

(ORTHE MEMBER'S LAMENT) together then they must share it equally.

Justin was to have it for six months, then

a small hatchet. I'd never seen him

Jim was to have it for six months. Accord

doors. The other club members were in the

garden. Laurie was snoozing in a far corner, dreaming of Andalusian summers, his friend Dr Williams was carrying out an impromptu medical examination on a beautiful young woman, and Lady Trcvclyan was helping to dry an acquaintance

ing to Jim, Justin had agreed.

Of course it was Justin Barnes-Fowler

who had taken the painting home and who kept it. For three years Jim had been trying to get his hands on it, and for three years he had been complaining that he owned half of it. Originally Justin had put the painting into auction, which Jim had reluctantly agreed to as he was broke, but the market was bad and the painting had not reached its reserve.

Jim had become famous for being the person who owned half a painting and he Barncs-Fowlcr's reply was slurred and was mercilessly ribbed by fellow members. vitriolic. It was obvious he wasn't having a nice day. Fie seemed to be waiting, or .The point is, Jim loved the painting. As a gardener he appreciated the wall of roses. rather lying in wait for Jim Beaty, a mutual "No one's ever painted flowers like that," friend and landscape gardener, whom he he'd say. "I could smell them." intended to kill.

The painting had been bought in a Jan I left him to his incoherent diatribe and uary, and as it was now July I guessed Jim went out into the garden. When I returned and Justin had had their usual six monthly Barnes-Taylor was slumped asleep on the squabble. I could have told Jim that Justin table, and a little later had slid to the floor.

Dudley had appropriated the hatchet and would be even more reluctant to part with phoned a cab. When, at about seven, Jim the painting than usual, as he had told me in Beaty arrived at the club, Barners-Fowlers confidence he'd finally found a serious had gone. "Justin's been looking for you," buyer. When he told me this he was sitting with a wad of estate agent details, gloating I said. "He seemed a little agitated." over the house he intended to buy in "The fucker deserved it."

Chelsea Park Gardens with the proceeds.

"Deserved what?"

Thus it should really have been Jim "The painting." sitting drunk with the hatchet in the club, The painting Jim Beaty spoke of was one he waiting for Justin after yet another futile attempt to get his hands on what was, after and Barnes-Fowler had bought together.

They had seen it in a junk shop in ail, half his. But he seemed quite pleased who had fallen into the fountain.

Shepherd's Bush Road. Jim had fancied it

with himself.

because, as a landscape gardener, he liked the wall of roses that look up most of the left-hand side of the painting, and Barnes-

"I've taught that fucker a lesson," he said, sitting down in one of the declfc-chairs.

I only liked that fucking painting because of the roses — that was the only part of the frigging thing I was interested in. I hate fucking people who just like fucking pain tings for the fucking money. The fucking club's full of the nerds. I only wanted my

Fowler had liked it because he knew it was valuable.

Barnes-Fowler would never have invited

Jim to enter into a business deal with him, but having only twenty-five pounds on him

he had paniccd. The painting was for sale at forty pounds and Barnes-Fowler was con cerned that if he went off to the bank for

more money by the time he returned it would be gone.

"You go in and get it," he had said to

Jim. "If I go in they may sus something."

What he meant was that Jim having a thick accent and being poorly dressed would not be mistaken for an intelligent art-dealer onto a good thing.

Before going into the junk-shop Jim had insisted that if they were to buy the painting

In the evening light; Before putting themoutto grass, His loving anatomy done.

THE USUAL TAT

a table in the Billiard Room clutching

quite so drunk.

"Hello, Justin," I said, "How's things?"

It was the kind of day when only manicdepressives and billiard players stayed in

Fiery eyedGods, among Their puny owners, wives, andelegantquietfields

WORDS GWYTHER IRWIN

1. The Late Jim Beaty

JUSTINBARNES-FOWLERSATat

On totheexquisite canvas With ferocioushonesty,

Mary hada little lamb, Theothers all hadgrouse.

(Included inthe party was Mary's prospective spouse.)

She looked at me with gimlet eyes,

Tomakea marriage really work You havetobe quiteclever.

Never use theword 'always'.

And always eschew'never'.

Thesimple fact abouta gun

Why dopeople fall inlove?

(It made me feel quite rummy) And snappedoutthisimmortal phrase: Is'poseyou think that's funny'.

Is that iffiddled wlthforfun

It will gooff with shocking noise.

Often killing girlsand boys.

Children therefore must ensure

Ithink men fall with theireyes

TheirMumsand Dads arejusttoopoor To own a gun;and failing that

And women with their ears.

Fiddle with the usual tat.

We all have our ideas.

While talking tomy wife one day I made an a^ul bloomer.

Isaid'Thetrouble is,mydear, You have no sense of humour'.

WORDSROGER McGOUGH

ANGELS ARE GOD'S MARINES Angels are God's marines

From Waterloo to Wounded Knee

A celestial SAS

Orleans toAgincourt

Wherever there are ugly scenes

They've changed thecourse ofhistory (That's what He trains them for)

Theygo inand sortoutthe mess Whenever there's a villain

And thewar isgoing hisway (like Hitler, forinstance)

They're called in tosave theday.

Angels are God's marines An elitist fighting force

You can volunteer tojoin them (But you've gottobedead, ofcourse)

half."

He settled back in his deck-chair, a beatific smile on his face. The sun glinted on the pair of scissors that protruded ever so slightly from his top pocket. I looked round the garden. Laurie was still dozing, Dr Williams was carrying out a second im promptu medical examination, Lady Trevelyan's guest had fallen back into the fountain, and Barnes-Fowler was stagger ing across the lawn having found the hat chet Dudley had so ineffectually hidden in the office.

ALL CONTRIBUTORS ARE REWARDED WITH DINNER FOR TWO COURTESY OF DUDLEY

#

THE WHISTLER 12

BOOKEND

brother's eyes as I retro-fired into this mel ange of animal, vegetable and hard planks.

Afterwards he told me that, as I sprav^ed there coated with chicken, cat and white sauce, it was as if some great explosion had taken place inside his head.

'Just hold it right there!' he screamed,

The Creative

deftly whisking a soft-lead pencil from Toulouse's inner pocket. He began to draw. Not for nothing does the Arts Club

Process Revealed ALMOST A YEAR ago to the very day, I a pit bull terrier under my legs was con was perched on the edge of a hard chair in templating a spot of rectoid excavation, I the bar, gazing despondently at the bilious headed toward the ceiling spraying potato green of the table and trying to blot out the and squidge as I did so.

jealously guard its list of members to keep out the merely mediocre! His pencil flashed across the paper. Through a curtain or veil of squidge I saw a scene take rapid shape.

Orlando, flicking chicken from his ears, looked on haughtily.

'Ta-ran-ta-ra!' Mike cried, showing me the final result. 'This is for your chapter

sound of gurgling from a fairly ferociously I .should have mentioned that the club lubricated member whom I had initially cat, Orlando, previously introduced to me taken to have been a dwarf (and whose informally by Mike, had been nosing

BOOK NEEDS! ILLUSTRATIONS! A

around with his tail in the air and had been

BIT OF CLASS, mush! A bit of bleedin'

stature occasioned no surprise in an ambi

enceso redolent of Toulouse-Lautrec) but wolfing pieces of chicken from my fingers who was in fact trying to bite his com

before the outbreak of hostilities. Unlike

panion's ankle and was kneeling for the me, this superb animal had been quite un purpose. I was, in short, paying my very abashed by Toulouse's yowling and, taking first visit to the Chelsea Arts Club under advantage of my absence up near the ceil thewing of mywell- known and chicyoung ing, had begun operations in earnest upon brother, Michael Potter.

my upended plate of squidge.

I began my descent towards the centre of the earth in the manner so ably exposed by of sponge-cakes, I should be the one who's Isaac Newton, but was of course stopped by brooding. I could sue for millions, you the floor of the club from reaching it. Un know. What's all this going to do for my fortunately, between me and the floor was reputation, I'd like to ask?' one ginger cat, one broken baked potato He jabbed his finger at the pile of A4 on and a pool or eddy of slime and chicken. I my lap. A couple of sheets floated down to remember the strange, unholy light in my

'It's not like you to brood, bruv,' said he, grinding out his fag. 'Stone me for a game

about the food rebellion at school - 'The Ravioli Riot'. THAT'S WHAT YOUR

TALENT!'

I gazed at him, silent upon a potato.

On one side of me purred Orlando, bliss fully unaware of his narrow escape from be now know that the figure in the background coming a small hearth rug in front of the with a kilo or two of gobble on his neck is mantelpiece; on the other gurgled the me. dwarf, his head pillowed on my upturned The Club continues to be a source of in plate. The billiard balls clicked. No one spiration... looked round. This was an ordinary day at Simon Potter the Arts Club after all. Seizing the sticky pile of A4, Mike began to dash off sketches The novel referred to above, The Fate Of Glassin for each chapter. The muse had been un gall by Simon Potter with cover and illustrations locked.

If you should read the chapter entitled "The Ravioli Riot' in my novel, you will

wards Toulouse.

'Careful, twittle,' said I, scooping them up with motherly harassment, 'that's my life's work you're throwing round the room.'

I had spent all day in final proof-reading of my stupendous magnum opus The Fate Of Glassingall (not that I had decided on the title then) and was feeling that madden ing sense of frustration which only the creative artiste can know when something is nearly perfect, needs but the lightest touch to render it so, but what that touch might be is wrapped in densest night.

'You see, old boy,' I said. 'It is brilliant, isn't it? Every one a winner, as they say. I

think you've come out jolly well. The Affair Of The Wasp, eh? That dinner at the Savoy, eh? The Cone! Eh, what? Ha, ha!' I laughed uproariously at the recollection of allthose tales in my novel in which my dear brother, thinly disguised - well, according to him not disguised at all - comes a severe cropper at the hands of a malign fate.

'Ha, ha', he echoed - not very heartily.

We gazed at each other for a moment.

'Well,' said he, 'what else can you do to it? You've re-written half of it about a mil

lion times. I expect you've got to the bottom of whatever little tal^pt you pos-. sess. I'm sure that's what it is. Just send it

off. Theykeep asking.'

It was

true.

Jean-Luc

\\

Barbanneau,

courteous and long-suffering lynch-pin of Harrap and obersturmfuhrer of Impact Books had, many weeks ago, asked me to bequick about proof-reading.

'I'm going to get something to eat,' said Mike. 'What about a special? A whacking

great potato with a heap of chicken and squidgeall over it?'

'Squidge, eh? Okay. Mine's a half, as they say.'

A few minutes later, as we were mas

ticating the comestibles in silence, there wasa sort of frenzied barking just below my left buttock. Unaware that it was merely

Toulouse in the grip of some sort of an thropomorphic seizure, and believing that THE WHISTLER 13

by member Michael Potter, published by Impact Books/Olive Press, is offered at a special price to

Chelsea Arts Club members. Contact Office for details.

THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF TALK ABOUT THE MEMBERS' BAR OF LATE. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE FOCAL POINT FOR THE

ECCENTRICS OF THE CLUB AND THE WANNABEE CHARACTERS, EVER MINDFUL, AS THEY ARE, OF THE GLORIOUS HISTORY OF DRINKING IN CHELSEA.

IT IS OFTEN PAINFUL TO WATCH NEW MEMBERS AND THE ODD

GUEST TRYING TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION — ESPECIALLY AS WE HAVE BEHIND THE BAR A MAN WHO HAS SEEN IT ALL BEFORE AND

HAS BEEN ON MORE THAN NODDING TERMS WITH SOME OF THE GREAT PROFESSIONAL CLUBBERS OF ALL TIME.

esrsir->

IT TAKES A LOT TO IMPRESS OUR MAX. SINCE 1946 HE HAS RUN THE REFRESHMENT FACILITIES OF SOME OF LONDON'S FAVOURITE WATERING HOLES. MAX WAS 25 YEARS AT THE PHEASANTRY IN

KING'S ROAD, SERVING DRINKS TO THE LIKES OF FRANK SINATRA,

ROBERT NEWTON (AH AH, MAX LAD) TREVOR HOWARD AND LEE MARVIN. DIANA DORS WAS A PARTICULAR CHUM. BEFORE OUR

OWN DEAR BAR HE PUT IN TIME AT THE PHEASANTRY, THE PLACE, FRERE JACQUES AND THE ALIBI AROUND WHICH FACES FAMILIAR

TO US WOULD HAVE BEEN AUGUSTUS JOHN, ROBERT BUHLER AND RODRIGO MOYNIHAN.

AND WHAT IS THE SUM OF THIS EXPERIENCE? IS THERE A

MYTHICAL CURE FOR THE MORNING AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE — KNOWN ONLY TO THE BROTHERHOOD OF BARMEN? •

•

NO! MAX'S CURE FOR AN ALCOHOLIC HEAD: A HORSE'S NECK

(BRANDY &GINGER ALE WITH FRESH LEMON) "FOR ABAD ' STOMACH IT'S PORT AND BRANDY" HE SAYS CHEERFULLY. IT'SALL

! ACADEMIC TO OUR MAX —HE DOESN'T DRINK HIMSELF...! { |

THE WHISTLER 14

PHOTOGRAPH; NICK TUCKER

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by Chelsea Council, following a public meeting of electors in 1948, where it was proposed that legislation be urged on gov ernment 'to provide studio accommodation in the Borough.' In 1949 the LCC proposed that Chelsea Council, along among London boroughs, should be allowed to build, con

NOTEBOOK JIMMIE WHISTLER

Goodbye Chelsea Duringthefirst week in Marcha disgraceful exhibition was staged at ChelseaTownHall. Mounted by 12

artists of diverse ages, styles and, yes, standards, the show was united by one shocking quality: its aim to expose the cowardice of Chelsea Council in levying business rates on artists' studios.

Loosely speaking, the artists; Stanley Ayres, Julian Barrow, Henry Brett, George Bruce, Sheila Donaldson-Walters, Julia Heseltine, Rebecca Malone, Henry Peplow, Theo Ramos, Geoffrey Rawlins, Ian Ribbons and Sophie Wysocka, all live and work in Chelsea. On closer examina

tion, not all of them starve in garrets in Chelsea, SW3: Some are more closely associated with Kensington than Chelsea (now united in The Royal Borough) several of them live in that dubious twilight area, Chelsea, SWIO. One of them, still more

dubiously, lives in Chelsea, SW6. But then, he is a member of this Club. His daily cycle

to Bridie's bar for his evening pint surely makes him Hon. SW3.

The point is, of course, that people who starve in garrets, anywhere in the world, shouldn't pay business rates for the privi lege of doing so. Writers don't, so why should artists? Moreover, Chelsea, as we all know, has been a traditional haunt of artists since my friends the Rossettis first set up in this unfashionable area: when Gremorne Gardens teemed with fallen

women (to be picked up by my evangelical friends) and fireworks illumined the river side (to be painted by my Enemy and Foun der of this Club, who cost me the most pain ful farthing of my life.)

Not a stone's throw from these gardens of shameful pleasure Chelsea Farmhouse Studios (Theo Ramos) and at two stones' throw. Knights House Studios (Sophie Wysocka) were built, expressly for artists.

sion and VAT on that commission, gets a

minuscule percentage of the price of hisor her picture or sculpture costing, say, £500, which might have taken a month to create.

To earn £10,000, nett, an artist must work

flat out and, preferably, have the devil's own luck. Needless to say, such an artist

vert, fit out and maintain studios for artists

(most of them presumably) is not business-

who, if they wished, could also reside there.

In 1950 and 1952, Chelsea Council was

rated as regards taxation. To be liable for

still recording in its minutes its special con cern 'to see that Chelsea remains a place where artists can live and work.' The prov

VAT, he or she mustsell works amounting to about £30,000.

However, not all artists, nor even all of

the artists in this show are starving, in gar

ision of such studios at 'reasonable rents'

rets or out. Some exhibitors state as much

was considered to be a social requirement, requiring special legislation. The subse quent rise in housing prices, and unreal rents charged by private landlords, have vindicated the legislation. When, in 1964, the Boroughs of Chelsea and Kensington

in their little biographies. One is president of the RP, a body which creams off the Na

were amalgamated, they resolved 'that the

existing Chelsea Council regulations apply to the letting of all (Council) studios.'

These regulations were never applicable to businesses and expressly excluded the

tion's top portrait commissions; a second cream off the remainder of them, currently a portrait of the Queen for the Grenadier Guards. (Not that these do not involve a great deal of work; simply that they are

suitably remunerative.) A third has a mag nificent studio in Tite Street, where resided

ONLY. No business tenant would accept such a lease, nor take on an average studio premises. 'Garrets' on top floors are for artists using top light, not shopkeepers or brothel-owners or factory-proprietors, who need to get clients in and out fast, so I am

that parvenu Irish playwright, the aesthete in the pink scarf, who was such pals with my Enemy. A fourth proclaims that his prices are inclusive of VAT. And the most highprofile, politically, of them all, designed the first JOSEPH shop in Kings Road, in 1966. I hope, for their sakes, that they are earning as much as they ought for skills that have taken a lifetime to acquire, as my Enemy would doubtless remind us. If they

told.

are not, let us hope they get rebates. BUT,

carrying out of any commercial activity.

The studios are

for

ARTISTIC

USE

ABOVE

ALL,

THEY

MUST

NOT

My sardonic colleague, Giles Auty, who LEAVE CHELSEA. Chelsea without opened the exhibition, was at pains to ex . artists will be like Mr Browning's Hamlyn's plain to the public that an artist, after pay Town after the Pied Piper has spirited its ing for materials, framing, gallery commis children away. Dull. %

CALL TO ARMS IAN RIBBONS

A r t Cruise IN TURKISH MED

A 14-(Juy inrorniiii cruise uifli (wo proressional nrlisl.s, (irjnvliig niid painting (he lii.sloric unspoilt const of Turkey. Creative people nt nil ^ levels welcome. Places limited (o 10.

Date: 10-24 August'92. Price: £750 per person, inclusive of return flight, accoinmodation, full hoard and tuition.

The Business Rate as

Applied to Artist's Studios SOME TIME AGO members were

very helpful in signing a petition against this rate.

Last Friday I had an interview with the

Rt Hon Nicholas Scott MBE MP and left

signatures and a statement with him. He was most concerned and promised to put the possibility of an ammendment to pre sent legislation to Government.

I also told him that some artists using Council studios were so hard pressed by both the business rate and high Council rent increases, as well as of course Poll Tax, that we are holding an exhibition at

Chelsea Library gallery from 3 to 7 March, with a private view on Wednesday 4 March, not so much to achieve sales — although that is possible — as to publicise the posi tion. Nicholas Scott promised full support.

a'/.'

Since the business rate affects, and will do so increasingly as phasing runs out, all artists studios, I thought that perhaps any members who feel strongly about this might care to join in. We are hoping for wide local publicity.

If anyone is interested, please phone me on 071-351 3810 as soon as possible.

Ian Ribbons

•T--''va|Bi«sr\,3'l

Organisers:

i.'c'• '

'•

THE WHISTLER 16

Gilbert Browne & Doug Hack

.

V'-' 77 Windmill Road, Brentford, MiddxTWSOQQ Tel:081-5607345

Centenary Exhibition Smith's Gallery, 23 Neal Street, Covent Garden, WC2

This was hung in December and was a focus for many Members when they visited London in the time leading up to Christmas.

At the Private View of the

Exhibition which showed work of more than a hundred artist

Members, all agreed that this demonstrated that the Club is able

to organise events of this kind. With the help of the Secretariat, and numerous Members with special talents, more exhibitions will be forthcoming.

Artists who did not collect work

are reminded that their pieces will still be waiting for collection by Art Moves of Chelsea.

MICHAEL KENNY & MAVIS CHEEK

THE WHISTLER 17 sj'E: rldJ idGi'-A'

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^'•^^^5555 TELEX 88\-T-^^^ 15% DISCOUNT FOR CHELSEA ARTS CLUB MEMBERS

FOREIGN NEWS

All at Sea in Venice FROM MY HIDDEN platform I look down through a screen of silk into the front

studio. Through the balcony windows Venice, the Queen of kitsch, a tired old tart

still with so many faithful admirers, glitters in the early morning sun across the anima ted waters of the Giudecca canal. I back down a ladder into the darkest of dark

wardrobes-everything is black as everyth ing gets washed together. This economy of choice enables me to reach the kitchen half a mile down the other end of the studio in

order to brew the first pot of tea. This is the

time to write a letter - to whoever it may concern - like a scattered diary I recount the up-to-the-minute scandals. Now I have the excuse to go out to the postbox.

In my own letterbox I discover mail dumped by the lazy postman wiho finds the calle too long for just one letter. To deliver the neighbour's correspondence takes me to the back side of the Giudecca where the

lastshipyards are closing. Back on the Fondamenta the light hits hard, along with the

draws me across the water. One has to take

the circle line vaporetto (on which I once put my parents, so that I could wave to

them from my balcony every circular hour as they rotated the Venetian highways, bewildered and unimpressed).

My first stop is to the celebrated Antica

sacks that are tossed into the steel bowels of

Cantina I Sciavi to select and order wine, and to promise to paint the family group portrait (one day). My mission is to visit an American lady who has bought a palazzo on the Grand Canal and in the process of

the barges reverberate louder than the two

restoration

Moors on the clock tower in San Marco.

dubious origin and requests my appraisal.

Inspired by its pastoral pink sky we pro gress to Harry's Bar for a Bellini cocktail, freshly pulped by C/aud/o Ponzio, the best

earthy smell of garbage. The collection point is outside my front door. The first

Further along the waterfront

another

Moot, the greengrocer Umberto Moro,

' yeUs: The eggs have arrived! Then in the Trattoria f Do Mori both the coffee and the

has

discovered

a

fresco

of

barman in the world.

Harry's Bar is where old Europe and the stories are laced with grappa.

My real Breakfast at Tiffany's \s to "New 'Wot\d ate mixed with the drinhs. browse in the fishmonget's where among Much of old Europe was washed away in the mother oi pear\ and soft shehed crabs I the flood of '66, including two old choose between mermaids and sea urchins

bohemian princesses who used to steal the

for the days'spainting and evening's menu.

silverware. Both wore picture hats and im

Andiamo a Venexia - other business

probable wigs. One who had been a King's

mistress, whose nose had been eaten away by syphilis, wore a wax replacement which in hot weather would begin to drip into her

early evening light to the sound of Elvis Presley's It's Nowor Never (O Sole Mio). I

teacup.

to paint.

At the age of nineteen I arrived and painted on her pavements, unsuccessfully, until a policeman suggested that I draw a picture of the Madonna so that people would not walk over it and might even give me some money. In those days Venice was a gently well mannered city. A man was not allowed to kiss a girl in public unless they were say ing goodbye at the railway station. My first exhibition was given by the city Fathers the Fondazione beve Taqua la Marza - I risked my luck by asking Guiseppe Cipriani if I could put two paintings in his famous hotel. He was a very shrewd and approach able man. He asked the price of the piclures, I told him, and then he inquired; 'How much for me?' I cheekily replied; U

find Venice herself a subject to live in, not

Brushes are laid to rest and the tune

changes to the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.

The music for scheming bachelors. The footlights of the stage are set on dim, can dles are trimmed and instruments tuned.

The first guests to arrive are the Comte and Comtesse de Balencourt who are put to

work in the kitchen, alongside the appoin ted bottle opener, Joe Martin. Always the last to appear are the Baron and Baroness Francetti and I remark to Jo that apart from myself he is the only non-noble. He cor rects mc: 'Whaddaya mean? I'm a Queen!'

The fish was prepared and served by my girlfriend Berenice. She was furious at the Baron for spending all evening gazing at my

drawings of her bare bosom and proud bum, only then to buy for his wife the pain Geoffrey structions for me to be paid out of the petty ting of today's fish. cash. Fish and females are painted in the

doppio! He smiled wryly and gave in

Through aFish Eye Lens THE DEAR OLD trout staggered in, switched on the light, blinding my watery

old eyes and causing my tail to twitch viol ently just as I was dreaming of my future harem of lady goldfishes, long promised never fulfilled - the only thing that is filled to overflowing isthe algae in my soiled and

grubby glass bubble they are pleased to call atank, to me it's a dank pool of Fon Dish

water. Blinking blearily we both eyed each other distastefully - a series of sharp taps on the walls of my crystal cell alerted me to the fact that a diatribe from madam was

aboutto slither in my direction.

'Cretin! Idiot! Mouffle!' and other ex

pletives made my scales stand up on end, my fins raised in protest, but itthen transpi red that I was not the object of these end earments, but a gentleman called Pierre Francois - gentleman is stretching diplo

macy a bit far, apart from under rating the propensities of the said P.F. to give an ex

cellent imitation of Ian Botham on an off day-1 must explain - P.F. is a Garcon - or

more like a petulant pest of a boy in an overweight fully grown male. IVa/t is the

operativeword, he is in fact, a waiterat La

Keystone Cops saga. Apparently one of his

realised that the Monsieur wanted someth

Palette the popular cafe Bistro in the Rue de Seine frequented by the down at the sole

favourite turns is to grab at a customer's wallet after caustically demanding payment - this is supposed to be funny. Another

ing soft, warm and sweet. No, it wasn't the young blonde at the next table - and ord

Bohemia (heel is meaningless to a goldfish)

humorous trick is to throw a customer's bag

ered a Tan Tan (a delicious apple turn over).

The elderly American thanked madam profusely in good French and invited her to

or the floating dilettante, that swam around the various glass menagerie lining this street from top to bottom that laughingly

spare seat - the story would be better if an

call themselves Art Galleries. My lord and master Fon Disher sneeringly refers to

oncoming car passing at that precise mo

a cinema show that just happened to be

ment was to crush the contents to pulp, with

them as novelty shops, but then he would wouldn't he? From all I've heard when list

the mortified owner as the audience. Un

showing some of his old films like The Mask of Dimitrios and How to Marry a Millionaire this last title gave my mistress much food for thought causing old fashioned looks to be cast in my master's direction,

ening to both master and mistress (she who must be humoured) these establishments bear a close resemblance to me and my

goldfish bowl, especially when they have

what is laughingly called a Private View.

Private it isn't, and as for the view, they have less room than I have, and my view is better or so my beloved mistress is always

assuring me and that I have the tank to

myself (just another excuse for not supply ing me with my harem in fetching fishnets).

However, this P.F. according to madam was born out ofhis time frame, as he would have done extremely well as Charlo's

heavy, or as aknockabout comic villain in a

into the gutter if he finds it occupying a

fortunately, much to madam's chagrin she cannot as yet recount this macabre ending, but the tone of her voice indicates her in

tense disappointment at not being able to.

plus the odd ashtray, cushion,and any stray kitchen knife that happened to be idly lying

When this P.F. has nothing better to do

around - the only food I got was the usual mouldy ants eggs and cigarette stubs.

than collect the glasses he pushes the tables about, kicks the chairs and makes offensive remarks to all and sundry, but what really causes my mistress's blood to boil was the time when a very distinguished elderly man wearing a black Stetson, and his charming wife, requested the menu of goodies, only to be assailed by a reeling off the list at such a rapid pace as to reduce it's meaning to gibberish - madam rushed to the rescue,

THE WHISTLER 19

The name of this gracious Yankee fella? he had a typical Yankee sounding name - how. does Jean Negalesco grab you?

DonfinlParis

La Paletteis a trendy artist'scafein Paris. Perhaps Donfin ought to meet Orlando. Ed.

ARTISTS' LUNCH ELENA GAUSSEN

REPORTS CHESS BARRY MARTIN

OUTSTANDING SUCCESS CENTENARY YEAR

island inspired a visit by at least

gathering of R. A.s as honorary

one listener!

members of the C. A.C. include

Anthony Eyton, Professor

Norman Adams Keeper of the Royal Academy Schools (the last Keeper member was Sir Henry Rushbury), Jean Cooke, and A.N.Other — awaiting

CLOSE TO THE CHESS RECENT CLUB CHESS match results have declined towards the unsuccessful in the

Russell-Hamilton Cup. But, two well attended and

scintillating simultaneous matches against grandmasters Julian Hodgson (the current British Chess Champion and newly elected club member), and David Norwood (the old

confirmation.

As my brief, organising these Saturday lunches to encourage practising artists to join the Club (and R.A.s are nothing if not practising) has been a pleasurable challenge. It is interesting to see how different special guests' discourses vary, from a simple 'thank you' to an

games. The game against Pierre de Vaiensot (adjourned) looked very strong for Pierre and might have caused an upset if time had allowed its completion.

Many thanks to Julian and David for their generosity and demonstrations of expertise in the art of chess.

\

The cup matches against the

David Norwood congratulates

Mathew Flowers on board 3,

mm

(CAC), had a fine win against

Barry Martin on their draw.

Simultaneous match.

Christopher Wilt, (RAC^, in a cliffhanger of a game, with • India Club Monday \6tb March 6.30pm away. Speed Chess Competition, Atheneum Club May 7th, against the other clubs

afloat with some dexterous

in the Russell — Hamilton

player's side at this stage and the outcome at least for the

mm.

viewers, seemed less important than the quality of play and finger biting climax that followed. (However, well done Mathew, thankfully somebody won!)

Future matches are against the Traveller's Club, Monday 9th. March 6.30pm home; East

League.

1-0. Mathew Flowers (CAC) White versus Christopher Witt (RAC) Black C. Torre opening. I. d4 Nf62. Bg5 e63.

Nf3 g6 4. e4 h6 5. Bxf6 Qxf6 6.

Be2 d6 7. e5 Qd8 8. 0-0 Bg7 9.

Nd2 0-010. Rel Nd711. Nc4 d5

12. Ne3 c513. c3 QaS 14. a35 c4

IS. Qd2 Qd8 16. Ng4 Kh7 — white's knight move opens up

his Queen's diagonal to attack h6 but the black King moves to support the h7 square. 17. Bdl Rh8 18. Bc2 Kg8 9. h4 h5 — moving the h pawn to attack black's g pawn spells danger for black but also creates a space for white's next move to take

his knight out of danger to h2.

20. N4h2 Bh6—black's bishop is brought in to attack the white

Queen but this ultimately allows white to free his h file

when knight to g5 Bxg5 and the pawn on hxgS. Eventually this opens up a rook attack for white along the h file.

21. Ng5 Bxg522. hxg5b5 23.

Of4Qe7 24. Re3Bb7—rook to e3 is a decisive move towards

the h file. 25. Rh3 Kg7 26. Kfl

a6 27. Ke2 Bc6 — the King move allows the rook on a to

habitue to the club), provided the platform for masterful performances from each. The

Oxford and Cambridge and the RAC clubs were in practice more closely contested than the

results of the latter were David

results suggest, (0-6; l'/2-4'/2).

Their chess teams are currently the strongest in the league and consequently we knew the going was going to be tough —

Norwood, 18 wins and 1 draw,

(strenously fought for by myself); and Julian Hodgson, 13 wins with two adjourned

The Julian Hodgson simultaneous match, January. Left to Right: Tony Gross, Mike RadcUff, Pierre de Valertsot, Barry Martin, Mr and Mrs Julian Hodgson, Raymond Keene and Peter Ayleti.

when it came) to warm her up!

Finally thanks — to the Chairman who always finds time to come to Saturday Special Guest dates, and to members who booked — a

However, not only painters but writers, poets, photographers, musicians and architects are being asked to sit

great help to Artists in the Kitchen. Also many thanks to Linda Sutton, Lyn Kramer, and Sandra Pepys, all busy practising artists, who come and give their support. #

most vivacious and interesting talks was given by authoress Mavis Cheek, and poetess Anna Adams' descripdve words about a remote Hebridean

June Special Guest. Bert Jrvin,

enjoyed a garden fuH of sunshine andfriends.

1

Malhew's adversary looking a real goner around move 30 (see game below). However, he managed to keep his King moves. Time was not on either

their portrait perches to give a salutory fly-past as she was being collected. Newly recovered from pneumonia here a plea for a non-smoking dining area she was determined not to disappoint her audience.

Pity it was that she had to wait three quarters of an hour for her first course soup (delicious

erudite if esoteric diatribe.

in the S.G.'s chair. One of the

and it was!!

The latest Special Guest was Jean Cooke—whose doves left

hi. 28. Rhl... and white's next

move of pawn to g4 attacking

black's h pawn; h5 takes g4 and white's knight on h2 takes g4 allowing white to mount a devastating attack on the h file leading to black's eventual destruction.

Barry Martin

THE WHISTLER 20

CHAIRMAN'S LETTER

want to be solved, however here is what is happening - first a giant ioniser is being installed to help clear the particles out of the air. Next, the air-conditioning trunking is being properly flashed in the wall outside to stop rain coming in, and finally, 1am pressing to have a fresh air option included in the system. More to follow.

On the subject of smoke, would Members let me know their feelings about a smoke free area in the Dining Room - responses in the Suggestion Box please.

The Whistler Room is now rehung, the little cartoons and sketches have been restored and mounted in acid free and UV resistant glass. No more will the room be used as a repository - the Club now has a small storage unit - Members please use the Whistler Room again. The Gallery is open again too and rehung. I am keen to press the Company (Chelsea Arts Club Ltd) to open this up and expose the ballastrading beneath the panelling. Again, let me know what you think.

The Tombola last year netted a surplus of about £8000. The Council last month agreed that the amount should be split equally between the AGBI and the Chelsea Arts Club Trust.

This lastwhich willbe awardingaprizeofupto£1000 toa graduating student at the Central St Martins School of Art this year.

FinallythankstoJoscelynFox whoplayedtheChelsea ArtsClubFugueby VanceKoven (an American Member) at the 101st Birthday of the Club.Shemanaged toplayitagaininto

Dear Members,

There are a number of issues to communicate in this copy of the Whistler, some

a DAT machine, and copies of the recording will soon be available!

important, and some more so.

Last, andperhaps the twotopics which I approach withmost caution, andonewhich is

First of ail,the AGM. You willhave received notification that this has been called for September 24that 1830. AttheAGM, theevolution ofyourClubisdiscussed andfive new

Council Members are elected. Please consider putting someone upfor Council Member ship. These people are your representatives and reflect your interests. Candidates for

raised frequently to me, the matter of bar food. Whilst sustaining, it currently lacks inspirationandwhilstwriting this,Ibelievethatchange ison theway.Areallyinvitingmenu please Dudley and Bridie.

Recent discussions in CouncU also revolved around the billiard tables. Michael

whopays forthedrinks raises itshead. ItisaMembers' Cluband itisthe Members' privilege

Messenger, theSnookerCaptainputforward apowerfulcase fortheabosolute preservation of the statusquo. I do though reporta genuine concern amongst the Members whichdoes ask how,in thesetimes,when the Clubis enjoyingpopularitytheycanenjoya drinkin the Members' Bar without negotiating for space with the tail of a snooker cue. I expect the

to buy drinks.

debate will ebb & flood. Let me know.

Council will need to beproposed and seconded toRichard Maurice by September 10th.

HotWeather... many guests are brought to the Club by Membersandthe oldissueof

Recent breaches of the Rules should be mentioned - communication ofClub affairs with

the press isforbidden. Indoing so, theMembers' privacyis breached andtheintegrity of the Club as a 'home' is threatened. The ClubhasstrictRulesaboutuse of thepremises too. To avoid municipalnoticeshanging all over theplace and fire doors beingalarmed, pleasewill everyone note that the Garden must be empty of Members and guests after 10.45pm.

Observance of this rule is vital to the continuance of the Club.

The Chelsea Arts Ball will be held at the Albert Hall this year, the date will be 11th October which is a Sunday. The Bah is being organised by two Members and will be in support of the Aids Crisis Trust. The Club will not be financially liable, and noticing some of the performers who have signalled an imerest in participating, the event will be a tremendoussuccess. Members wUlhave preferential rates and other inducements. Wehave asked that if sufficient funds are raised, an artist scholarship should be set up in parallel with

ascientific scholarship toexplorethelinksandmakevisibletheexperience ofscience. More anon.

The Artists' Lunch at the Club, always successful,cheap and friendly. To helpgenerate

the opportunityfor meetings between Members who may notbeaquainted with one another, from now on theArtists' Lunch (open tonon artists too) willbe served only in the loggia on Saturdays. There isa Saturday Lunch Sketchbook which isslowly gathering drawings, and has thepotential to be a breeding ground for new menucovers.

The Chelsea Arts Club Centenary Print Portfolio has sold well to Members, and

Members only - 50 orso have been sold and soon sales will close and folios will be made available ata more commercially realistic price. If you haven t yetbought one, £495 gets

you acollection which includes Irvin, Blake, Blow, Procktor, Flanagan and others. There

are sixteen prints in the set, all signed and all by Members. The collection, cunently shown on the Members' Bar wall will soon be replaced by a major work of a Club Amst. Our

intention is to change the hangmg ofthe Members Bar wall about quarterly. As you can see too, we are experimenting tolight the wall properly.

The Print of the Month suggested originally by Niel BaUy, Ithink, is now in o^r^ion by the Bar and being run by Michael Heindorf. Work showing in the comdorourmem of the Qubis isbyinvitationfromoutgoingMembersofCounciI.eachofwhommaymvite

to exhibit. If you want to beMembers considered, Katy is beginning to compUe afile of images of artistsworkforreferenceby as weUasexCouncilMembemwhoarechoosmgwho

toinviteto show on the CoiridorwaUs. The system is workmg andbyftena^ofrototi™ the peopleresponsible for inviting Members to exhibit also change. ^^ exhSin of^w Members- work in the corridor mJuly. One '"" f exhibition's primary purpose is to show work to other Members. Outside publicity

CLUB POLITICS BINGO

Committee Notes cartoons, drawings and other memorabilia which provoked much controversy and witty reaction have been restored and are being given a more permanent home in places like the Whistler Room. You should by now have noticed the 16 fine Centenary Portfolio prints which have had pride of place there in their luxurious gold frames, but that space near Bridie's till has been put to use willbe announced in detail soon, assigned to a "Print of the Month" (it may but it looks likely it'll be split between the even become a "Print of the Fortnight"), an institution we hope will help shift AGBI and the Club Trust Fund.

The Centenary celebrations climaxed member's work, bring a few bob extra to with the 101st Dinner; a typically good- the Club's resources and a thoughtful natured do with brief speeches from guests, Manet smile to Bridie's face.

Natalie Wheen, Janet Suzman, and David Francis Bacon's move to the Great Hare. And Tom Cross's history of the Club

Since the last Whistler there have been sev

eral major and successful social events: the Smith's Gallery exhibition (marred only by some misunderstandings with the gallery staff); the New Year's Eve Heatwave Party when 143 Old Church Street became Daytona Beach for a few steamy hours; and the Grand Centenary draw, which raised £9,000 — news of how that money will be

has finallyhit the bookshelves with a gener Colony Room inthe sky is being marked by allycheerfulreaction. Expect newsof more a suitably cheery Egg and Bacon Breakfast events like these taking place throughout in the middle of June — details to follow.

Many snooker-playing members feel the summer.

The hunt has been on for new ordinary

members and the backlog of applications is being rapidly reduced. New overseas mem bers are being actively sought, so let us know of your recommendations either direct, or if you're a shy sort of a person, by leaving a note in the suggestionsbox nextto the mirror just outside the Club Room door.

pennitted.

they'vehada poke intheeyefollowing calls for one of the tablesto be moved out to pro vide more space in the Member's Room for

non-playing members. Snooker Captain Michael Messenger was invited to June's'

Council meeting and pleaded a case for both tables to remain. A decision from

Council will be reached within days, and you'll be the first to know.

Smoking and air-conditioning often

"So where are we going to fit all these new members in?", I hear you cry. Well, come up at Council meetings. The former you'll be glad to know that the Gallery has . will be aired in some detail in direct discus been cleared out and renovated. Just think, sion with you, so keep your matches dry,

you'll be able to sit up there and watch the new ones being put through their paces,

suggestions, pleaselet me know.

The Club is back on its

With Best Regards to all Members,

,

t_

®

^ receiving inunediate attenttoml he the other side of the wall - should

and there are areas which need and

Lo^s the offending cistern is to be hung on

bei^g updated, but were , jsjj-conditioning is atopic which doesn't

installed badly and thejob is not straightforward. Air co

and the old ones growing even more eccent ric.

Meanwhile, there's a new and colourful feature on the Members Room wall. The

THE WHISTLER 21

and the latter is being monitored.

You, and BT, will be glad to know that the old familiar public telephones have

been reinstated for members use, replacing the greedy American ones now in silent dis grace on the office floor. #

LONELY ARTS

•

To rent; Glorious

French Alps. Large chalet

#

Ordinary members

interested in Life and

farmhouse (sleeps up to 12) Portrait drawing/painting and/or self-contained

apartment (sleeps 4-5) in

quiet but not isolated spot 40 minutes' drive from

Geneva. Perfect place for walking, fishing, riding, or

sessions (3 models per session) with the Hcsketh Hubbard Art Society, Monday evenings 6-8.15pm in the Mall Galleries, please phone

just for creative rumination amongst the edelweiss.

Colin McMillan on 081-455

Phone Jane or Jack

6844. There are no terms,

2413 or the F.B.A. 071-930

Tresidder (071-229 1733)

thus we meet 50 weeks in

for details.

the year. Annual subscription £100.

•

Traditional stone built

cottage for sale in N.E. Scotland. Hills, moors,

rivers, sea - peace.

Potentially ideal artist's

# Sir Christopher Wren's great great neice Agatha's dolls-house for sale. Any offers? Tel: 071-720 2415.

retreat. £40,000-ish.

Telephone 030 95 282.

#

• Slapton unwind in Devon. Cottage to let (sleeps 4) in peaceful village. Vi mile beach,

sale. Toad Hall, 75ft, Large living/dining area. Three double bedrooms, fitted kitchen inc, washing machine, bathroom, central heating plus coal

Chelsea Houseboat for

nature reserve, lovely area, real ale pub, reasonable rates. For brochure phone

with current survey

(0548) 580568 evenings.

available. £70,000

• Exhibiting painter requires part-time assistant and/or manager terms negotiable, non-smoker.

stove. Excellent condition

freehold. Ring Sherrell MacNaughtan on 071-352 1670. #

Chelsea Houseboat for sale or rent. Nomadisch.

Tel: 071-388 9471.

maisonette now for

76ft, Huge living/dining areas, double and single bedrooms, luxury fitted

£185,000. It is a short-lease

kitchen, dishwasher, etc,

and there is the option to

splendid bathroom, sauna, coal stove, approx. £105,000 freehold to buy or £270 a week rent. Ring Sherrell MacNaughtan on

•

Buy my big Chelsea

extend the lease or save the

pennies and extend when the new law comes in later

this year giving the right to a 99yr. lease. 2 big reception rooms, three

071-352 1670.

Ducks and Cormorants

your leisure. Go crabbing, fishing, sailing. Ideal for children. Short and long stays available. Contact Ben Millington Buck, 10 Clonmel Road, London SW6. Tel: 071-736 8939.

#

Exchange Sought:

sunny, spacious 3-bedroom house on 20 secluded acres

. of fields, woods in famously beautiful Vermont, USA.

Spectacular mountain views, easy access to Montreal, Boston. Would exchange for 4-6 weeks for house or flat in London or

vicinity. Willing to exchange cars as well.

Photographs in club office.

Phone Norman Toynton, USA 718-789-1268 (New York) or 802-626-9660

(Vermont).

•

# Fresh new Thai flower

Wonderful Chelsea

houseboat for sale;

£145,000. 4 Bedrooms, master with chain hung bed and ensuite bathroom, 2nd

bathroom, huge livingAjreakfast areas, dining room, vast decks, mains gas central heating, mains gas central heating, mains sewage, a dream boat, owned by 2 psychotherapists. Ring Sherrell MacNaughtan on 071-352 1670.

# Next Stop Hollywood.

Screenplay seminars given

by accredited writer Call AH Attwell 071-221 6154.

Weather reliable from

members Sherrell and Iain

•

B&B on their Chelsea

April to November.

Apartment to let. Up to five people. Free all months except August which is already booked.

Information from Margaret Allen, 071-351 0623.

Celia Purcell's Adult

houseboat to club members

and guests. Two rooms,

Church Hall, St. Luke's

each with double bed, one

Street, SW3 (nearest tube: South Ken). Thursdays 7.00-8.00pm Beginners Welcome £4.00 Enquiries:

with bathroom and TV

Club rates. Please ring 071-352 1670 or Fax 071-376 4610.

#

Salcombe Devon.

Places are limited to ten. So

Enjoy the peace and tranquility of this beautiful fishing village. Rent a houseboat on the estuary.

Fully equipped with bunks, cooker, fridge etc. Bring your own linen. Little motor launch and dinghy included in the very reasonable price. Explore

ring soon: 081-560 7345.

the coves and beaches at

ART CRUISE in the

Turkish Med for 14 days this August, £750 all in. It will be an informal drawing and painting holiday - Club atmosphere in the sun - for creative people at all levels.

9 Middle-aged tomcat (young 48) has already

take me to Paradise with a

tasted too much cream, but

sudden smile. Do you exist?

wouldn't/couldn't say uo to

Box: 101

# I'm an abstract landscape painter and people think I'm too dreamy for my own good. My figurative friends say I need a still-life minimalist to help me mix my media. Can we make beautiful collages together?

9 Food and fun-loving fellow in 40s trying to find fulfilling female fellowship.

# Life model looking for live audience of one ... Can

# Peter Isaac is opening a contemporary gallery in Cambridgeshire, a nineteenth century town

Box: 108

you visualise it? Please try.

Box: 105

his aim will be true, and the

lights over the table will go out. Box: 112

a new dish. He is often to be

found prowling about with 9 I'm a waitress in the

Orlando between the bar

Dining Room, and although, it must seem glamorous to be able to meet all the famous people

and the dining room. Please come and stroke me.

Box: 113

who come to eat at the

9 Blind artist (male) needs

Club, it's a lonely job. I would love to have a special

creative experience.

friend who is a member,

Box: 114

someone to send me special looks across the big table when I'm dashing

with excellent bedside

model with a feel for

9 Cigar-smoking chocolate

backwards and forwards,

manner seeks malleable

who'd wait for me when I

sweetie with soft centre.

finish my tiring shift, and who'd maybe treat me to an evening at the Qub on my nights off. Please help.

Box: 115

Box: 109

Box: 104

Peckover House, Wisbech,

071-352 4792. •

• Doug Hack, an artist member, is organising an

nocturne, and who could

stimulus. Box: 103

quack on the Thames. CAC

071-584 1804.

Ballet Classes starting February 20th at St. Luke's

% Picturesque romantic lady more than somewhat seeks Runyanesque gentleman for Art and literature appreciation.

# Shy late-40s seeks similar for satisfying social

beds, 3 baths, kitchen.

the pocket is the right one

poesy allied" — Byron.

How I long to meet a man who can weep at a sunrise through pink mist; who can swoon at a Chopin

Box: 102

Garden square. Tel.

9 "Sense and wit with

offers empathetic body-to-body experience to erudite and generous gentleman. Box: 100

• LIPARI (Aeolian Islands) of Stoomboli fame.

Painters' paradise.

#

MacNaughtan just offer

'Soliciting my ass! Setting up sexual encounters and eliciting responses from anonymous participants is my form ofconceptual art' Playboy Magazine © 1972 (Sid Harris)

9 Please dip your brush in my turps. Shapely palette seeks vigorous colour-mix whose every stroke will bring life to a tired old canvas. Box: 110

9 (W)right-on writer with many admirers seeks man with the capacity for love of a deeper kind. Box: 116 9 Ex-jockey seeks private painting lessons. Box: 117 9 Ordinary male members seeks patroness. Box: 118

Members' work.

9 Dennis, painter, smoker, 5'6", living near Brompton Cemetery seeks lady model, 5'2", for friendship romance, "maybe more".

Exhibitions will run for

Box: 106

wants to throw away her shoes and leap into the arms of true love. Box: 111

9 Superb drawer, male, early 40s, member, seeks

Wisbech, Cambridgeshire PE13 IJR, or telephone

9 What I need is a wealthy patient, nymphomaniac to help me discover my true potential. The sky is the

9 Elderly snooker player

erotic drawings. Box: 120

0945 583463.

limit. Box: 107

mansion house. He would

be delighted to consider

approximately one month.

Please do apply to Peckover House, North Brink,

THE WHISTLER 22

9 Talented danseuse, tired

of clinging to the bar and seeing only her own reflection, or Bridie's,

9 Camp-follower (male) — "I may be small but I am beautifully marked. Please liaise". Box: 119

uninhabited female for needs to be reassured that

he has not lost his balls. If

PORTFOLIO

SOHO PIED-A-TERRE

PRINTS

KENT BASED WRITER OFFERS SHARE OF SOHO OFFICE/STUDIO TO SIMILAR CREATIVE PERSON. SITUATED IN WELL KNOWN THEATRE. FULLY

THIS IS THE MEMBERSHIP'S LAST OPPORTUNITY TO OBTAIN THE EXCELLENT CENTENARY PRINT PORTFOLIO AT THE PRE-PUBLICATION PRICE OF

EQUIPPED OFFICE (FAX, OWN TELEPHONE/ANSAPHONE, XEROX, LOCKING FILE CABINET) KITCHEN (MICRO, DISHWASHER, WASTE DISPOSAL, OVEN & ETC), BATHROOM (JACUZZI BATH, SHOWER). CASUAL OVERNIGHT STAYS POSSIBLE (DELUXE DOUBLE BED) BUT

£495.00

THIS UNIQUE COLLECTION OF SIXTEEN OUTSTANDING IMAGES HAS BEEN PRODUCED BY THE CORRIANDER PRESS IN ONLY 100 EDITIONS.

FULL RESIDENCY NOT ON OFFER. NON-SMOKER ESSENTIAL

THERE IS AN ABSOLUTE RESTRICTION ON ONE EDITION PER MEMBER.

WOULD SUIT INDEPENDENT MEDIA PERSON

LIVING OUT OF LONDON. SEVEN DAYS A WEEK ACCESS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT A

PLEASE HAND YOUR RESERVATION AND CHEQUE IN TO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY IF YOU WISH TO

LONELY ARTS AD!

PURCHASE A PORTFOLIO AT THE ABOVE RATE.

£125pw ALL IN

MEMBERS ONLY

TELEPHONE MESSAGE TO 071-497 8629

[ OlVAA^ A/^l> VAh^G Se.e-A In

C>\ f|a<5 or

^VxOl

• Man with wintery disposition, seeks hearth to

• Ordinary member seeks extraordinary member with

• Good looking creative man in happy relationship

# Very creative male

warm more than his hands

a view to basic discussions.

feels stale. Would like to

slave. Box: 133

by. Box: 121

• Young man believes that boy (always) scouts, and girl guides. Do you agree?

Box; 123

# Established, funny,

• King seeks queen to help

excitement and fantasy.

Confidentiality

social, sexy painter requires patroness in the old

guaranteed. Box: 130

tradition. Mental accord

make your move soon.

reprieve once or twice a week. Box; 124

overphysical. Box: 134

Box: 126

• Female pauper seeks loaded and very old tycoon.

Box: 127

• Fantasist will fulfil that secret sexy desire on a once

only, one offbasis for attractive ladies. No

complications. Box: 131

• Shy artist seeks girl to

bring him out ofhimself.

• Politically incorrect male artist wants to be corrected.

Box: 129

• Singlefemalepainter likes, healthy, fun company. No hangups, no

paupers on the make need not apply. Let's face it: a CV speaks louder than

orientated man.

London/Scotland axis.

Box: 138

words. Box; 136

Box: 125

Box: 128

• Overworked painter, (40s, 6 foot, male), needs

member seeks part time

meet similarly placed girl (20s/30s) for secret

with end game. Please

For eterritt^

©

€>

• Mother-cf-three seeks a young man with similar interests. Box; 122

^Qn

# I need a sugar mummy to help with my highly enjoyable, established (10 yrs) art/media organisation. Plenty of

EDITOR'S NOTE: Please

sellotapeoverthe flaps ofall box number reply envelopes. Only the editor

alone knowsthe identity of

# Painter needs financial

kudos and fun but

box number advertisers and

help with his career.

Anything considered. Box:

underfunded from start.

be assured that this will remain the case. Absolute

135

Are you rich but bored?

Lack respect for your own qualities? I have the

# Highly successful

answer. Box: 137

creative woman, late 30s, wants warm, sexual

# Professional writer

drunks and no beards. Box;

relationship with stylish, intelligent man working in

132

the arts. Smokers or

THE WHISTLER 23

(female) divorced with family wants a decent relationship with arts

privacy is guaranteed. Box number reply envelopes should be placed inside another envelope and posted to The Whistler in the normal way; or left in the Suggestions Box if delivered by hand.

1 OFTHE CHECSEA

"Not only a terrific history of the infamous Chelsea artist's

retreat, but an impressive and oblique work of art history. Tom Cross has produced an objective and focussed document on a venerable institution often

misrepresented by myth, rumour and scandal."

Charles Kane Artbooknews

m

Contains many archive photographs

Copies are recommended by the editor of The Whistler and the Chairman.

THE WHISTLER 24