Writing samples for The Light publication

Table of Contents The Sacred Cycle Choose Peace Tokitae Part I A Case for Seasonal Eating Salvation Tokitae Part II Anniversary

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The Sacred Cycle Spring, summer, fall, and winter.

Four spokes in a wheel that is ever turning. Each with their own flavor, their own personality, their own insights, their own beauty, their own purpose. These four parts make up one.

Winter. Life retreats underground. A seed lies dormant, potential energy deep beneath the earth. Internal processes that contain everything she needs are incubating below the surface.

When she can't stand the darkness a minute longer, energy bursts from within. A taproot emerges below, cotyledons erupt above. Small, fragile, and never looking back.

She wiggles her way through the cold, damp earth. She endures the discomfort and uncertainty, but the yearning is so strong, nothing can deter her from the light. Gone are the comforts of her shell – she has to trust there is something greater, beyond.

The moment the feeble warmth of early spring graces her delicate leaves, a chord is struck. The sunshine is like electricity. It energizes every cell and this little life that has been sound asleep is suddenly awake!

Up and out! Yang. Creation and glee.

Spring has sprung and her delicate leaves and petals are unfurling into the sun.

Her stems grow so rapidly her roots below hardly have time to keep up but alas, the taproot reaches down deep into the soil, keeping her grounded and gathering strength. Energy from the earth surges upward to nourish the tips of the leaves and meet the sun.

The energy from the sun, in turn, surges downward to nourish the tips of the roots. She is electrified.

This new energy bounds up and down and with each pulse she stretches just a little bit further. As above, so below, a heartbeat growing louder into the sky and into the earth. Tick – her leaves grow greener, tock – her roots reach deeper.

This vibrant green hails in the bounty of summer. Growing, growing, growing. Going, going, going. There’s hardly need to rest. The days are long, and her energy knows no bounds.

With summer comes abundance and with abundance times, gratitude.

Her leaves absorb nourishing sunlight and fresh air, which flows downward through the stems deep into the base of the plant. Her roots gather minerals and water which flows upward to the top. Her once tender, pale green skin is now fibrous and sturdy. Her once fragile early leaves are now lush and glossy. Her once delicate petals now give way to the swollen bellies of her flowers.

by Charlotte Bear

As if all at once, her branches become heavy with the plump fruits of the summer. They grow heavier and heavier. Her arms bow to the earth with gratitude, open and receiving abundance.

The fruits spill out of her concaved arms and tumble onto the rich soil that nourishes her very roots.

Harvest season has begun. It is now time to relish in the riches of her summer efforts. A time to slow down, give thanks, and reflect. Give thanks for the fruit she reaped. And reflect on the seeds she sowed.

The flesh of the fruit is rich with all the warmth and abundance of summer. As it matures and ripens, it nourishes the seeds within. As it begins to return to the earth, it helps incorporate the seeds back into the soil. The flesh decomposes, sacrificing the final juiciness of summer to the promise of spring. As the bacteria and fungi consume the rich fruits they create warmth and oxygen that incubates the little seed. Her journey was long, and she is weary. It’s cozy within her shell and there is a chill in the air above.

Once again, life retreats within.

Downward and inward. Yin.

We are but earthly beings, and just as any other life form, not exempt from the cyclical nature of our existence.

Not a circle, but a spiral rising higher with every turn. Not unlike a tree, with every crank of the wheel the branches stretch higher into the sky, the roots grow deeper into the earth, and the bark swells wider each year.

No matter how cold and dark the winter, or bright and brittle the summer – each season plays its irreplaceable role in one full cycle.

One cannot thrive in all of its element if the previous season was not honored. There cannot be the harvest of fall without the bounty of summer.

The bounty of summer is not possible without the outward expression of spring. The energy and inspiration required to awaken life itself from deep slumber is not possible without the rest period and incubation that the winter months afford. The permission to rest is not granted without the stored warmth and nourishment provided by the fall.

Everything has a beginning, and everything has an end. And yet, there is no beginning and there is no end!

Spring, summer, fall, and winter. Four spokes in a wheel that is ever turning.

Choose Peace It is evident that this world is urgently calling for peace.

But remember, you cannot hold peace and anger simultaneously.

It is impossible. If you want peace you must learn to observe your anger as it rises up and passes away. Do not cling to it. Do not cherish it. We must vigilantly choose peace in every moment.

Anger cannot lead to justice. Only peace can bring about justice.

Whenever there is a lack of justice there is always an abundance of anger but a lack of peace. The same is true of shame, despair, fear, and hatred. You fear that if you let your guard down there will be chaos. But I assure you there will only be peace.

We have been given the opportunity to choose peace time and time again. And time and time again we chose to ignore the call and choose anger instead. Now in our Brother’s hour of need, we have been caught unprepared and we have nothing to offer, for we can’t even cease the war in our own hearts, in our own homes.

But they say, the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.

The second best time is today.

Take a breath and ask yourself, which seeds will I sow in my heart today?

If you don’t think peace is radical enough or that it’s the easy way out - I implore you - try it for even one day and you’ll find anger, fear, and hatred are but sickening addictions. You may even find anger is in fact the easier path.

But I assure you it is not the noble one.

You may notice anger rising even now. That is because these words challenge your ego. Challenge it back. Show it that it has no hold over you. Make your stand.

Choose peace.

by Charlotte Bear

Tokitae Part I I was devastated to learn about Tokitae’s passing. My initial reaction was denial, then suspicion, then anger, then acceptance, and finally grief.

In my grief I reached out to her spirit and asked Toki one question: Why? The message that came through was entirely unexpected. She said that her whole life she has been a symbol but few knew her as an individual. We projected on her an indomitable spirit but in truth she often felt bitter and her spirit felt long-since broken. To be fully embodied in the way we needed her to be was painful and unfathomable.

We never stopped and considered what we were asking of her. When she saw that sling she knew she didn’t want to put on yet another show - and what a show it would be. The show of a lifetime to the delight and appeasement of her captors.

We would ask her to return to the sling? To relive the trauma of her transcontinental transport?

We would ask her to trust us and to understand that the other side would not hold for her a still deeper level of hell?

We would ask her to splash into her home waters and confront the bitter truth of her loss - 50 years in a chlorine tank?

“Humanity needed this win” I thought at first but it’s not our win to be had.

While I believe we first and foremost wanted justice for Toki - we wanted her to live out her life in her rightful habitat and to regain her strength and vigor for life. But a part of us must admit this triumph was for our own atonement.

As a resident of the Puget Sound let me be the first to admit that had we been successful, Toki would be a joy to behold, people would come from miles around to see her splash in the Salish Sea, whole and free since 2023 - a beautiful ribbon tying up the loose ends of a gruesome story with a happy ending. But in her death we feel the full gravity of our wrongdoing. Try as we might, this is a wrong that could never be made right.

by Charlotte Bear

Now I take solace in the knowledge that she passed in the presence and care of those who have known her for all these years - her personality, her experience, and the depth of her heart.

And she is free in the truest sense - a freedom that all the jumbo jets and billionaires, sea pens and fanfare could never bring her.

Tokitae you were a force, an icon, an inspiration, a legend. And you were a whale, an individual, and your story is your own. We are so sorry for our wrongdoing. It was my hope that in your freedom you would carry the message to the others that humankind has evolved so much since your capture in 1970 - that our consciousness has developed, that we are capable of making right our wrongs and that we are worthy of forgiveness.

But our atonement is not your responsibility. You are free. And we must take it upon ourselves to heal, to remember, and to forgive ourselves and one another in order to move forward as conscious stewards of this planet.

Thank you Toki for your contribution and your unwarranted sacrifice to our grave human lesson. Rest in the knowing that, because of you, this injustice will not be repeated. We see you, we feel you, we love you. Forgive us.

Additionally …

After attending her vigil and hearing from those committed to her cause and the cause of her family for decades, I no longer believe Tokitae’s spirit was ever broken and she was far from bitter. Her remarkable perseverance and the maintenance of her inner peace and physical vitality even in the most tragic of circumstances is breathtakingly admirable. Her dedication to love, hope, family, and connection transcends all of time and space (as is evident with her synchronous super pod celebration of her family) and is something we would do well to carry with us. Her work on this planet is done but the journey is far from over and I am curious to see how she continues to support the mission from beyond.

A case for seasonal eating

by Charlotte Bear

I find that I spend considerably less money at the farmers markets and coops than I do at the supermarket. I always get more than enough food. I am able to stick to a budget especially when I use cash or EBT tokens. Don’t even get me started on the difference in packaging waste. I process my own food and I don’t waste a scrap. I stimulate my local economy. I support farmers, responsible land management, and animal welfare.

My diet contains zero chemicals, dyes, or artificial ingredients. My food is nutrient dense and keeps me fueled with quality fats and proteins plus fresh, seasonal fruits and vegetables. My produce was not bathed in diesel fuel, it tastes better, and it lasts longer in my fridge. It has not been sprayed it was not mono-cropped. It supports the ecosystems (and the bees).

But let me warn you, it’s a different way to live your life. You are limited to what can buy depending on the season. You can only shop at given times and locations throughout the week. You have to make room in your schedule to prep the food once a week. You have to bring your own bags. Should you find yourself in a supermarket you’ll find yourself saying phrases like, “I can pick up supplements here? And chicken is already in parts? Tomatoes come in a can? There are limes?”

I am never looking back. Never have I savored or cherished a fruit or vegetable as it came into season.

When an old favorite makes its appearance at the farmers market, or local section of the coop it’s cause for a celebration! It feels like a ritual to prepare that meal. I use my tools and instincts to craft my market haul into flavorful dishes that keep me full for the better part of the week.

When the season comes to an end, I am glad to see something go and I am eager for the next gem to come along.

I am all tomato’d out by the beginning of fall but when summer rolls around I always welcome them back with open arms and it is always worth the wait!

I don’t have to sacrifice treats like yogurt, almond milk, ghee, sauces, and jams. It just takes a little more intention to procure them. The results are less expensive, more flavorful, and more nutrient dense. I don’t have to run to the grocery store several times per week. I don’t feel compelled to stock up my freezer with processed meals. I don’t have to leave a major carbon foot print or produce excess trash. I don’t have to contribute to irresponsible corporations. I have control over my food choices and I have control of my health. This is not an extreme lifestyle. All I had to do was simplify.

Salvation You have been through a lot and there is a lot of pain and suffering between you.

But it is nothing you can’t give to God. The moment you decide in your heart of hearts to let God take it from you, it is gone.

It can take some digging but it can also happen spontaneously as you live your life in love.

Remember, God lives in the frequency of love so as long as you surround yourself with the frequencies of anger, resentment, and fear God cannot reach you to help you.

He will always respond to your prayer, but you will not be able to hear his answer if you do not live in love.

To live in love is salvation.

by Charlotte Bear

My family was stationed here when I was a little girl and everywhere I’ve lived since I’ve always held a fascination and a reverence for orca whales. I often had this dream where I was kneeling upon an orca, holding its dorsal fin and peering down into sapphire waters with sandy turquoise bottoms from which rounded islands emerged, crusted with dark emerald forest.

When I moved back to Whidbey just this past November I experienced a sense of home and belonging I’ve never quite known anywhere else. I attended the Penn Cove River Festival this past May and was drawn to the breathtaking totem, depicting a whale bearing a rider. It was then and there that I learned of Tokitae’s story, the whale known as Lolita.

I felt a certain kinship towards Toki who, if all went according to plan would be returning to her home waters in the same year as me, a fellow returnee who was eager to share in the joy of her homecoming.

The news of her passing was crushing.

At her vigil, we all shed salty tears whilst hearing from her friends who advocated for her for decades. It was too much of a shock as Tokitae has never been happier and healthier than she had been in these past few months.

She had inspired the hearts of a football manager, marine park officials, a property developer, dolphin advocates, and others - she had managed to unite people who would never have found themselves around the same table.

All the pieces were in place, all that was left to do was execute the plan.

Her release had become an inevitability.

I’m sure all who have been touched by Toki’s story are still fumbling with the same question: Why? Why after 50 years did she die this close to the finish line? We may never know why, but in my own heart, I can’t help but recognize the Christ Consciousness frequency in Toki’s story. Had Jesus not died on the cross would his movement have gone as far? Had Tokitae been released would we have felt our work was done?

I learned a great many things at her vigil, but the thing that moved me the most was Tokitae’s unprecedented ability to maintain her inner peace and loving frequency throughout her difficult life. Most every captive orca sadly ends up losing their minds, going stir crazy and sometimes becoming violent, their dorsal fins flop, and their teeth become run down from gnawing on the rails.

Toki however, in a Christ-like manner remained loving and playful, never lashing out and developed unforgettable, undeniable connections with her human companions. She found her way into the hearts of multitudes and still resides there.

Tokitae Part II

by Charlotte Bear

In the days before her passing she was vocalizing in the language of her family and neighboring pods. The day before her passing her mother, Ocean Sun was photographed separate from the others.

The circulating photo showed her in a golden sunset and it held a decidedly contemplative energy.

In the moments during her passing all three pods gathered, socializing, swimming, playing, even celebrating?

We can all rejoice with them in the knowing that their beloved sister has at last returned. Her family is able to perceive her in a way we may never understand.

At her vigil, the message was not bitter and sorrowful but uplifting and hopeful.

It is unfortunate but true that bad news carries faster than good, and with the Orcas having a strong moment in the media with their super pods and their yachts, Toki will undoubtedly capture the hearts of multitudes more with this spark of outrageous news.

Additionally, her passing happens to fall into a brief window that is open now through the end of August to call or write the White House and request that president Biden sign an executive order to have the harmful yet obsolete lower Snake River Dams breached in Southern Idaho, saving millions of chinook salmon and restoring the primary food source to Toki’s family, the endangered Southern Resident Orcas. I believe Toki gave her life for this cause.

In her passing we have the momentum to save Toki’s family, save the salmon, and maybe even free Corky while we’re at it (the captive orca in the San Diego SeaWorld for whom the funding and sanctuary are already in place if SeaWorld would only talk).

I wholeheartedly believe that this enlightened Being knew her soul mission from the start. She knew she was coming home from the beginning, but none of us thought it would happen like this. Her work on this planet is complete, and now the real work begins.

If Tokitae’s story opens your heart, I invite you to let her in and let her sustain you. For more information on completing Toki’s mission check out https://damsense.org and visit https://www.whitehouse.gov/getinvolved/write-or-call/ to make her voice known and breach these dams!

Anniversary A coming of age, a crossing of a threshold, a red garnet on a rocky beach, white doves, a ceremony, an initiation. These were the words channeled to me by my powerfully psychic friend nearly four years ago in her cozy apartment in Richmond, VA. I kept these moments close to my heart this year, hardly sharing but for cryptic glimpses. Truth be told it took me an entire year to process the gravity of our union. I never would have predicted our first year of marriage to look like this. It was indeed quite the initiation, to say the least.

Two days prior to my 30th birthday, Alex and I hiked a desert path to find a cove on the northern shore of Catalina island. This is where we wrote and exchanged our vows, letting Mother Nature herself hold space for us as we held our own ceremony of matrimony.

Two days after my 30th birthday, we held an intimate gathering of sisters and mothers (unintentionally all of our guests were women!) and they bore witness to our legal and deeply spiritual union. The celebration was on sacred (to us) grounds, known as the Morning Dove farm in Whidbey Island, WA (and yes it is host to a menagerie of doves).

I’ve previously written regarding our wedding day, “my fantasies have become my memories - and then there was the divine, dazzling present.”

I cannot express each miracle-laden moment here but this sentiment remains to be true. And on our wedding night when we recounted every last drop of nectar from the day we agreed that there was no way the gravity of our intentions would not have a ripple effect in our lives. We knew we had sent a shockwave into our reality and a quantum shift was imminent.

What happened next we could have never prepared ourselves for. What I saw for ourselves was Alex carrying me across the threshold of the farmhouse into our honeymoon lives. The reality could not have been further from the fantasy.

An implosion. A relapse of a serious substance by our farm-sitting neighbor, domestic disputes, the mysterious massacre of our chickens. The contents of our fridge lined upside down in a line on the front step, an armoire pushed against the shared door. Keys lost, mail stolen, diesel donuts in the front yard. Campsite destroyed, electric fence severed, banging on my kitchen windows. The barn door nailed shut, burnt piles of rubble, police report after police report. This went on for six months. Robbed of our honeymoon phase.

Still, there were cows and milkweeds and sourdough bread. There were swimming holes and fireflies. One dream we brought into reality was to invite over as many loved ones as we could and feed them from the farm.

On the second celebration of our wedding, back east we fed 25 people and didn’t even put a dent in our potato stock. We had rhubarb barbecue, cucumber salad, and homemade ice cream with the milk from our cow. In celebration of our union we got to open our home and share our way of life. It was quite a slice.

Ultimately, New York gave us one last swift kick out the door when the landlord let us know in October she changed her mind about updating the heating and we were looking at $10,000 in oil alone to keep warm in a house we were terrified to live in.

A series of synchronicities you would only believe if you really knew me, later and a five day blitz across the country and we landed in a house of whimsy overlooking the sound in Whidbey Island, WA. A temporary lease, but long enough for us to catch our breath.

And how sweet was that breath. Salt, straw, balsam, berries. This is the smell of South Whidbey. Seals, eagles, and gray whales celebrated our wins almost daily as we slowly healed and reprogrammed our nervous systems.

Six months later, and we find ourselves in a long-term lease in a modern, cozy, light-filled home overlooking the same passage. It seems to be somehow pieced together from fragments of our previous homes and it happens to have every last element on our previously handwritten list of desires.

by Charlotte Bear

As I write this, we are a week and a half shy of our one year anniversary. Just this morning I unpacked the last of our belongings. We have arrived and I feel a sense of belonging and inner peace that I’ve never quite experienced before. Alex and I had been right about the ripple effect. Our union rocked our life like an earthquake, flipping us upside down, and shaking every last pebble from our boots.

This rite of passage may not have been the honeymoon bliss I had imagined for us, but the bonds we forged are everlasting. The ups and downs and unshakeable partnership have sealed our bond. We are ready for anything, we are capable of everything, and there’s no one I would rather be on this ride of a lifetime with. While it feels like we are just coming back down to earth, I would have to say, the journey has only just begun.