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Friday 3 February 2023
Cardboard fleet in battle of Tata
The Tataitians round the first race marker in hot pursuit of the leader in last Sunday’s Tata Titanic Cardboard Boat Race. Photo: Rose Hughes. ALISTAIR HUGHES
Anyone who decided to let the wet weather stop them cheering on our intrepid mariners at the 25th Tata Titanic Cardboard Boat Race last Sunday missed a hugely enjoyable event. Somehow, Tata Beach magically remained the only rain-free region of Golden Bay throughout the contest, with calm, warm water ideal for race conditions. An impressive seven vessels were lined up for some intense scrutiny from judges Grant Knowles, Martin Potter and Mark Sparks. Entries ranged from the florally adorned elegance of the Tataitians raft,
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to the intimidating brutalism of the IcoNZ “battleship”, and the tiny but determined boat and crew of the Unicorn Princesses. Meanwhile, the sleek lines of the good ship SS Bob suggested a lean and mean turn of speed. During judging, brightly costumed crews took the opportunity to slyly eye their competition. The fiercely horned helmets of the Norse/NZ bird-blended Vikekos showed they meant business, while two yellow-faced Minions projected calm confidence beside their banana-shaped craft. But as the race began, it was the most innocuous of the boats that quickly took
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the lead – Octy the Octopus – rounding the first buoy well ahead of the others using the frenetic method of a “human outboard motor”. They were closely followed by the vigorously paddling Tataitians, while the Minions banana boat quickly peeled in the water, and the Unicorn Princesses discovered that while size isn’t everything, it sometimes helps. After rounding the second marker, a close competitor appeared to decide the Octopus’s unorthodox method of propulsion was not to be tolerated. A brief aquatic melee took place, much to the delight of the crowd on the beach. This confusion allowed the remaining
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contenders to regain some distance, but the barely afloat Octopus hung onto their lead, exhaustedly kicking their way back to shore. The Tataitians smoothly docked shortly afterwards, and the other competitors followed, their boats in various stages of disintegration. A thorough clean-up of saturated cardboard followed before the results were announced; judges allowing the Octopus’s leg-powered victory in accordance with the rules and awarding them race winners. The Tataitians took consolation in... Continued on page 12
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