I don't do art, anymore

To those who read this, I’m Charlotte, I’m a Graphic Design artist. I enjoy creating digital art and making poems. My hobbies include playing video games, reading, watching shows, and staring into the abyss thinking about what might’ve been if I push myself more… Anyways that got dark quick. Don’t worry, I’m not usually like that. I’d like to think of myself as a chill person but sometimes I have weird habits. For example, I like Hawaiian pizza, I know right? Fruit on pizza? I am such a monster. I also don’t like coffee that much because it makes me sleepy, and I’m scared of horror movies but will sit through a 2 hours documentary of a serial killer.

However, the weirdest thing about me is that I like to feel pain. No one really enjoys being in emotional pain but for me, it drives me to create and be inspired. Art has been a way for me to express myself and you can see it through my works. I’m basically my own Taylor Swift just with less breakup and no singing. I had new art works every week I was creating more than ever but one day I stopped.

Where the story starts...

There was always a reason to create and mine was because of passion and love. It had guided me to a place where I saw the beauty of life and how I could capture it with my own two hands.

However, everything was moving quickly and I was falling behind. So I let it pass by me while I draw the memory of when I was once happy.

When love has come and go, I often feel a sense of regret for the opportunity that I could’ve taken. What if I chased the moment back and didn’t let it slipped away? Maybe in that universe, I will be okay.

Then comes a time where everything slows done and the sound of rain is louder than ever. The day where warm turns to cold and my heart is filled with sorrow. That is when the force of art guides my pen to draw and create what it might’ve been if I was stronger.

Long after, the darkness has soon taken over me and the only release I had was through my artistry. I had created a world in my head that I transfer to sheets of paper. Releasing the pain had help me drift away from the reality where I

wasn’t worth fighting for. I had end up creating scenarios that will never be real. I’m just here waiting for all the feelings to disappear.

For the longest time, the pace of my life has been in constant slow-mo. I started to drown on my own thoughts and scenarios. I keep catching my breathe and try to release the burden that is taking a hold of me. For a while, I was just waiting for the day that my life wouldn’t be this bleak.

For that day shall come where I didnt have to drazw the moment because the moment will be true.

FLOWERBOY

I heard there was something hidden in this garden

Something that holds beauty like no other

I was curious to know what it is So I went inside and tried to uncover

Something so unbelievably perfect

It physically hurts me to see I was breathing the same air But I couldn’t imagine you being with me

Your voice could cleanse the air Your softness heals any wounds Your vibe is like sunshine that lights up the world

You are like flower, Boy you

blend so well

As much as I want to pick you, I would never dare

I am just a mere mortal, astonished with your beauty Flower Boy, I can only hope for you to be with me

I’m waiting for you, in all universes

Hades

I was at peace and you were my chaos

You rattled everything in my world

I never knew I wanted you until I did You took away all the tears I shed

It might be cliché but you are my Hades

I know I can’t sleep until I say this Let’s escape paradise and go to your world

I want to see how it revolves

I’m no Persephone, I’m no beaut

But you make me feel the most special girl in the world

I never knew I could feel this way again

I guess all I’m waitin’ for, is you to happen

Lost

Little lost boy where have been

Destroyed by the world you lived in

Locked in a castle of no escape

Little lost boy you will be saved

Little lost boy you have grown

But your aloofness is there and it still shows

Trying to find yourself in different paths

Trying to hide sadness in your wrath

Little lost boy I am here

A guide that will always cheer For your happiness every tomorrow

You will be little lost boy no more

Little lost girl with you pretty eyes You see everything with a smile

So pure and precious in your own way But you only want to be saved

Little lost girl had found a boy

Who was lost as her but he had no joy She tried to guide him back to a path

But she only lost the one she had

Little Lost Girl alone again Left by the boy, left in pain

But Little lost girl still wishes

That little lost boy will find his happiness

I don’t do art, anymore

I am an artist but I don’t do art anymore. Is that bad? Honestly, I’m really not sure but the reason is I don’t really find necessary to slowdown and stop to capture the moment because I am too busy living it. I had learned to accept my self and love me the way I deserve it. It doesn’t mean I won’t go back to art, art is a childhood friend that I will always comeback to but I realize that this is the time of my life that I had to live through. So I drop my brush temporarily in order to really see and experience the world that I have been missing. Art is the reason why I am not afraid to step forward because I know when I stepback it will be there welcoming me back. I am an artist but I dont really do art anymore because art has taught me to live life beyond canvases and enjoy it while it’s still there.

The journey of life comes different to everybody, we are often not so lucky to find those whom we are meant to be. Be patient because in due time there would be someone there to be with you. Join me as a explore through the depths of life and its meaning. Come and experience the wonder of advernturing in a world where we can learn to be who we really are. Stay as I look for my true purpose and discover the true beauty of life.

Dedicated to Miko, My beloved