SECRETS OF THE ARBA MINIM PAGE 120
HOW TO EASILY FAST THIS YOM KIPPUR BY SURI SPREI PAGE 70
THE BAAL TESHUVA’S JOURNEY OF RENEWAL PAGE 96
INSIDE THE ROLE OF A YAMIM NORAIM CHAZZAN PAGE 54
4915 10th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219
718-851-3700 www.BoroParkCenter.net
This time of year has a unique energy. There’s the feeling that we’re approaching something tremendous as Rosh Hashanah draws nearer, and you can feel the renewal in the air.
To enable our residents and the community to tap into the Yomim Noraim properly, we have our weekly Elul shiur by top speakers who inspire and uplift us. In Boro Park Center, the approaching Yomim Tovim are tangible, and we look forward to celebrating them together!
This edition of the Center Spirit highlights so many beginnings. First there’s the new school year, and we brought you some great tips on how to properly kick off the year while managing the anxiety that often accompanies this new start.
In a different vein, there’s our article on Baalei Teshuvah, who had the strength to dive into an often unfamiliar world and start afresh for the sake of truth, something we each hope to mimic on our own level as the year begins.
Of course, we have our Yomim Tovim features, and I’m sure they’ll enhance your appreciation for these special times as much as they enhanced mine! We also have some fascinating interviews and articles for when you finally get a chance to sit amidst all the prep.
It’s a busy season, although an exciting one. And throughout all the bustle and new beginnings, I try to remember to be mindful and grateful both for the year that has passed and the one that is beginning.
It’s been an incredible year at BPC (check out the pics of some BPC fun!), a year of care, commitment, and laughter. Our recreation team is proud of the joy and meaning our activities foster, and we look forward to another year of more of the same.
Kasivah V’Chasimah Tovah!
WARM REGARDS, Raizy Pavlov
DIRECTOR OF RECREATION
At Boro Park Center, we practice a completely home-based approach to out-of-home rehabilitation and nursing care. Home means family, and our Center was founded on the idea that residents and their families should never be far apart. Come on in, Live HappyTM, and enjoy an environment made possible by compassionate caregivers, therapy specialists, and most importantly, friends and family.
Your comments and feedback are important to us so that we can continue to serve you as best as possible. Please email your comments to rpavlov@boroparkcenter.net Project by:
At Boro Park Center, the Yamim Nora’im and Sukkos season hold a special significance. These holy days remind us that life is a precious gift, to be cared for with devotion and renewed with strength. For our residents and families, this time of year is not only about davening and reflection but also about embracing health, dignity, and the courage to move forward with hope. Each new year is an opportunity to begin again, to restore what has been weakened, and to gather strength for the journey ahead.
Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur call us to look inward, to recognize both our fragility and our resilience. The sound of the shofar awakens within us a reminder of our shared humanity and our deep connection to Hashem. For those who are elderly or facing illness, these days carry an especially profound meaning. They teach us that every moment, every breath, and every mitzvah has infinite value. Even in times of weakness, the act of turning to Hashem in tefillah gives us strength and courage. At Boro Park Center, we are committed to providing not only expert medical care but also chizuk, encouragement and spiritual support, so that each individual feels strengthened in both body and soul. Our mission is to ensure that no one faces these days alone, but rather surrounded by a community of warmth, compassion, and respect.
Sukkos, coming on the heels of these awefilled days, brings a message of joy, protection, and belonging. Just as the sukkah shelters us
As the Yamim Noraim approach, we’re reminded of the themes that guide both our lives and our work.
Rosh Hashana — the birthday of humanity — calls us to community, just as we support one another in health and healing. Yom Kippur — the day of forgiveness — teaches compassion and renewal, values essential in caring for our
under the embrace of the Shechinah, we at Boro Park Center strive to create a space of shelter, comfort, and connection. The sukkah reminds us that true security does not come from walls of stone or roofs of steel, but from our faith in Hashem and the care of the community around us. In the same way, health care is not only about treatment, but about building resilience, nurturing joy, and strengthening the bonds of family and community. Within our walls, we celebrate together with music, with simcha, and with shared meals, creating memories that uplift the spirit and carry us forward into the year ahead.
As we enter this new year, our tefillah is that every patient, family member, and staff member draws strength from these sacred days. May they be days of renewal, of courage, and of deep connection. May we all be inscribed for a year of health, happiness, and blessing. At Boro Park Center, we remain steadfast in our mission: to provide exceptional care, to honor every individual with kavod and compassion, and to inspire strength and hope as we journey together into the future.
With heartfelt wishes for a Kesiva v’chasima tova, a gut gebentched yohr, and a Freilichen Yom Tov.
Administrator
residents. Sukkos — a time of shelter and protection — inspires us to safeguard our patients with safety, nutrition, and holistic care.
This season, may the lessons of the Yamim Noraim guide us in our mission at Boro Park Center: to nurture body, mind, and spirit with dignity and devotion. Wishing you a Shana Tova Umesuka, filled with joy, health, and peace.
Medical Director
L’chvod HaKedoshim, Shalom U’Beracha,
As the Yamim Noraim approach, I extend heartfelt Brachos to our cherished residents, families, and community. These days remind us that Teshuva, renewal, and growth are not oncea-year ideas but lifelong pursuits.
Rosh Hashanah marks new beginnings — a chance to harness creative energy and embrace change at any stage of life. Just as Avraham Avinu began anew at ninety-nine, our residents inspire us with their courage and Emuna, showing that renewal is always possible.
Yom Kippur calls us to Teshuva, a return not only from mistakes but toward wholeness and deeper connection. For many, recovery itself is a form of
Chazal teaches us that when we dwell in the sukkah, it is as if we are entering under the Tzeil HaShechinah, the shadow of Hashem’s presence. The sukkah is a reminder of the Ananei HaKavod, the Clouds of Glory that surrounded and protected Bnei Yisroel in the midbar. Though the sukkah is only a temporary structure, it carries eternal meaning: it shows us that Hashem’s shelter and protection are with us wherever we go, no matter how fragile our physical surroundings may seem.
This message is deeply connected to life here at the Boro Park Center. Just as the sukkah is not meant to be a permanent home, but rather a place of refuge and holiness, so too we hope that each resident’s stay here is only temporary. Our tefillah is that everyone who comes here finds care, strength, and healing,
Teshuva — a journey of healing, hope, and transformation.
I am grateful for our extraordinary Kehilla, who continue to live with Torah and Mitzvos as their guiding light. Your strength uplifts all who surround you, and your determination is a beacon of inspiration.
May this season bring Hischadshus, Refuah, and Siyata D’Shmaya to us all. Wishing you and your families a year filled with health, joy, and renewed purpose.
Kesiva V’chasima Tova,
Rav of Boro Park Center
and ultimately has the zechus to return home healthy and renewed. In the meantime, the Center becomes a sukkah of its own, a place filled with protection, kindness, and the Shechinah that rests where there is Torah, chessed, and community.
On Sukkos we say “V’samachta b’chagecha… v’hayisa ach sameach” to rejoice fully. May the joy of this yom tov fill our sukkas and our lives, and may the blessings of healing, protection, and simcha spread to all who dwell here, even if only for a short time. And just as we pray for the sukkah to be a reminder of the eternal shelter of Hashem, we also pray that every resident finds the strength to go from this temporary dwelling back to their true home, in good health and with joy. Chag Sameach!
Aaron Szydlo
LNHA, Associate Administrator
כ״א אלול SELICHOS
Sunday / September 14
Selichos..................................................................8:00 am
Monday-Wednesday / Sep 15 - Sep 21
Selichos..................................................................8:30 am
Followed by Shacharis
EREV ROSH HASHANAH
Monday / September 22
Selichos..................................................................7:50 am
Followed by Shacharis and Hataras Nedarim
Candle Lighting..................................................6:35 pm
Mincha....................................................................6:50 pm
הנשׁה
ROSH HASHANAH
Tuesday / September 23 / 1st Day
Shacharis................................................................8:30 am
Shofar.....................................................................11:00 am
Mincha / Maariv .................................................6:50 pm
Candle Lighting*................................................8:03 pm
Wednesday / September 24 / 2nd Day
Shacharis................................................................8:30 am
Shofar......................................................................11:10 am
Mincha....................................................................7:05 pm צום
TZOM GEDALIAH
Thursday / September 25
Selichos...................................................................8:15 am
Fast Ends................................................................7:18 pm
SHABBOS SHUVA
September 27
Shacharis................................................................9:00 am
Mincha....................................................................7:05 pm
Maariv......................................................................7:52 pm
Havdalah................................................................8:02 pm לולא
SELICHOS
Thursday-Wednesday / Sept 25 - Oct 1
Selichos...................................................................8:15 am
Followed by Shacharis ערב
EREV YOM KIPPU R
Wednesday / October 1
Selichos..................................................................8:45 am
Followed by Schachris
Mincha...................................................................2:00 pm
Candle Lighting..................................................6:19 pm
Fast begins (Shkiah)..........................................6:19 pm
Kol Nidrei...............................................................6:45 pm
רופיכ םוי YOM KIPPUR
Thursday / October 2
Shacharis................................................................8:30 am
Yizkor / Mussaf....................................................11:15 am
Mincha....................................................................5:45 pm
Neilah......................................................................6:45 pm
(Shofar) Maariv.....................................................7:48 pm
Followed by Havdalah
ירשׁת ד״י EREV SUCCOS
Monday / October 6
Candle Lighting..................................................6:11 pm
Mincha....................................................................6:30 pm
תוכוס SUCCOS
Tuesday / October 7 / 1st Day
Shacharis................................................................9:00 am
Mincha....................................................................6:30 pm
Candle Lighting*................................................7:40 pm
Wednesday / October 8 / 2nd Day
Shacharis................................................................9:00 am
Lulav & Esrog Bentching
Mincha....................................................................6:30 pm
Maariv .....................................................................7:45 pm
Shabbos Chol Hamoed / Friday / October 10
Shacharis................................................................9:00 am
Candle Lighting..................................................6:04pm
Mincha / Maariv..................................................6:20 pm
Saturday / October 11
Shacharis................................................................9:00 am
Mincha....................................................................6:35 pm
Maariv......................................................................7:24 pm
Havdalah 7:34 pm
אבּר אנעשוה HOSHANA RABA
Monday / October 13
Shacharis 8:30 am
תרצע ינימש EREV SHMINI ATZERES
Monday / October 13
Candle Lighting..................................................5:54 pm
Mincha / Maariv 6:10 pm
תרצע ינימש SHMINI ATZERES
Tuesday / October 14
Shacharis................................................................9:00 am
Yizkor.....................................................................10:45 am
Followed by T'fillas Geshem
Mincha....................................................................6:15 pm
Maariv......................................................................6:35 pm
Followed by Hakofos
Candle Lighting..................................................7:29pm
הרות תחמש SIMCHAS TORAH
Wednesday / October 15
Shacharis 9:00 am
Followed by Hakofos
Mincha....................................................................6:30 pm
*Candle Lighting after (not before)
Maariv......................................................................7:18 pm
Havdalah................................................................7:28 pm
3:00 PM IN THE SHUL
Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser August 31
Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer September 14
Rabbi Paysach Krohn September 7
Rabbi Moshe Tuvia Lieff September 21
For Boro Park Center residents and accompanying family members only.
BY PENINA PULTMAN, PA-C
It’s the night before the first day of school. Neatly packed briefcases are lined up at the front door. Tomorrow’s lunches are prepped in the fridge. The house is finally quiet. It’s been a long day. You make one last round of the house, check that the front door is locked, and look in on the kids sleeping peacefully in their beds.
You linger at your daughter’s room, smiling at the freshly
pressed uniform draped over the chair and the brand-new school shoes lined up under the dresser. She’s so excited to start first grade. You’re about to gently close the door and head to bed yourself when you hear it. The quietest of whimpers. Followed by a sob. And suddenly, you’re on high alert, all tiredness gone. As you murmur words of reassurance and stroke your daughter’s hair, you wonder,
are all first graders this anxious about starting school or is your daughter’s fear a sign of something more serious? Everyone experiences anxiety at some point, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, either. The increased heart rate and breathing an adult feels before an important meeting or a student feels before an exam is the body’s way of entering a 'fight or flight' mode; the resulting
heightened awareness can help the individual ace the interview or motivate the student to study for the test. However, when anxiety is intense, excessive, and persistent enough to interfere with one’s daily functioning, it becomes a problem. An anxiety disorder can take the form of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic attacks, social anxiety, selective mutism, separation anxiety, and other fears.
While there is no single factor that causes an anxiety disorder, children who are perfectionists, shy, reluctant to take risks, lack self-esteem or need to feel in control, sometimes develop anxiety during childhood, adolescence or as adults. Anxiety may also develop because of stressful life experiences or health conditions.
Approximately 7.1% of children aged 3-17 have been diagnosed with anxiety; school anxiety, specifically refusing to go to school, affects 2 to 5% of children. This has been exacerbated by the pandemic since remote learning and reduced social interaction have made acclimating to inperson instruction even more challenging for many children. It’s three weeks into the school
year, and already you’re worn out by the daily battle to drag your daughter, kicking and screaming, onto the school bus. Some days you relent and let her stay home, but that only seems to fuel her anxiety. Later that day, you tell your husband about the phone call from her teacher. She’s concerned that your daughter isn’t socializing with the other girls during recess.
She is also restless and not paying attention in class. Your conversation is interrupted by your four-year-old crying because his big sister shoved him. Your husband points out that your daughter’s behavior at home has also deteriorated. While both adults and children are affected by anxiety, children find it harder to articulate what they are feeling and to realize that their fears are irrational. Additionally, symptoms of anxiety in children, unlike in adults, often present as frequent nightmares and disturbed sleep, restlessness, falling asleep in school, difficulty concentrating, irritability, crying, and tantrums. Children suffering from anxiety might also be disruptive or act aggressive when they feel overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings.
If you suspect that your child might have difficulty adjusting to school, there are some things you can do to alleviate his or her fears. It’s important, however, to be upbeat and positive about school and avoid projecting your own worries onto the child. For preschool children, visiting the classroom before school starts, role-playing at home, and having playdates with future classmates might be helpful. Older children will appreciate an opportunity to discuss their concerns about school and have their feelings validated. You might want to tell the teacher about your child’s anxiety, so that he or she will be supportive and understanding of your child’s struggles.
You read books, seek parenting advice. You try talking her through it, validating her
concerns, encouraging her to set small goals. With the teacher’s cooperation, you institute a chart system. But even the promise of a new bike doesn’t seem to hold much allure. She refuses to go on the class trip to the zoo. She stops talking in class. Her fears are spiraling out of control. You meet with the school social worker. The good news is that your daughter does not have a learning disability or ADHD. What she does have, however, is an anxiety disorder.
In most cases, school related anxiety will diminish with time and exposure. However, if your child’s anxiety worsens and begins to negatively affect everyday functioning, it’s advisable to have him/her evaluated by a mental health professional.
It’s very important to treat anxiety early. If left untreated, a child’s anxiety disorder can have long ranging consequences into adulthood, affecting his/her ability to hold down a job or have healthy relationships. Thankfully, due to increased awareness, seeing a therapist does not carry the same stigma as in the past, yet the shame associated with mental health disorders often causes parents and/or the child to avoid or delay getting the necessary help.
Treatment for an anxiety disorder often consists of both psychotherapy (talk therapy) and medication. In psychotherapy, the social worker or psychologist will usually use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help the child focus on identifying and changing the negative and irrational thought patterns and beliefs that are feeding the anxiety. If the anxiety is severe, the therapist will often recommend the child see a psychiatric provider.
The doctor is knowledgeable and professional, but you balk at the thought of medicating your
child. Isn’t therapy enough? Not always. In life, the doctor explains, we all ride the horses of fear, sadness, and frustration, and for the most part, we’re in control of the ride. But sometimes, inexplicably, the horse runs amok, and the rider is left hanging on for dear life, his runaway emotions wreaking havoc in his life. In this case, the doctor continues, we’d all agree that the rider needs to learn how to control his steed. The analogy is clear. While the therapist is the trainer helping your daughter learn to rein in her anxiety, the psychiatric provider offers the saddle, the medication, that will make the ride tolerable.
Psychiatric providers, like psychologists and therapists, also specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of emotional, mental, behavioral, and developmental issues; however, unlike therapists and psychologists, the psychiatric provider is a medical doctor who will focus on chemical imbalances in the brain and can assess both the mental and physical effects of a disorder.
A psychiatric provider can prescribe medication, and while they may provide some counseling, a collaboration between the therapist and psychiatric provider is usually the best way to ensure the patient’s needs are met.
When looking for a psychiatric provider, referrals from your pediatrician, therapist, or communitybased mental health referral service are good places to start. Aside from practicalities such as insurance and area of expertise, it’s important that the psychiatric provider be someone who can relate to and understand your perspective, and that you and your child feel comfortable talking to. It may be beneficial to find a psychiatric provider who has worked with other people with a background similar to your own. The ideal psychiatric provider is a team player, who works together with the family and therapist, and who individualizes treatment by welcoming feedback and making appropriate adjustments.
The initial visit is an opportunity for the psychiatric provider and your child to get acquainted. The doctor will want to know about your concerns. They will also ask you about the symptoms your child is exhibiting, your child’s medical history, family history, and if there are any previous mental health issues. The psychiatric provider will probably also want to meet with your child separately. At the end of the visit, the psychiatric provider will evaluate the case and make recommendations such as prescribing a natural regimen of diet, exercise, vitamins, and supplements. If these are not entirely successful, low dose, light, and short-term medication may be added for additional relief.
A follow-up visit will probably be scheduled for 1 week, at which point the efficacy of the treatment will be assessed. Additional visits are usually scheduled at the 3-week and 6-week marks, and generally every 3 months thereafter as long as the patient is stable and doing well. Depending on the complexity of the case, a patient might need to see a doctor for as little as a few weeks or for as long as several years.
If medication is prescribed for your child’s anxiety, note that most anxiety medications require a few weeks for the full effect to be experienced. However, there are faster acting medications that can be prescribed short-term for the interim period, if necessary. You should, however, see some signs of improvement within two to six weeks. Most anxiety drugs used to treat childhood anxiety are considered safe and typically have mild side effects. If the medication isn’t effective or well-tolerated, the psychiatric provider will tweak the dosage or find an alternative medication.
Starting a child on anxiety medication is not a life sentence. The best outcome, however, happens
when medication is used in conjunction with therapy. Anxiety medication takes the edge off the symptoms so that the child, is able to engage in therapy and gain the tools to manage the anxiety on his/her own. Generally, the treatment for a childhood anxiety disorder will continue for about one year, and, with a supportive environment, many times the medication can be tapered off and discontinued.
As you wait with your daughter at the bus stop, you reflect on the past few months. Dealing with a child’s anxiety disorder has been a difficult and overwhelming journey for all of you. Baruch Hashem, she’s made tremendous progress since
Dr. Penina Pultman DMSc. PA-C
Journeys Psychiatry | 347.460.7677
Email: Info@healthsjourney.com
that fateful first day of school. The school bus pulls up to the curb, and your daughter bounces up the steps and waves goodbye. As the doors close behind her, you wave back and don’t stop even as the bus recedes into the distance. You are so proud of your little girl who conquered her fears, and you are forever grateful to the wonderful team of mental health professionals who helped her break free of the anxiety that held her captive.
BY SURI PREI
As backpacks are packed, routines are re-established, and the school bell rings once again, there’s one vital school supply that doesn’t come from a store: real nourishment. In the whirlwind of back-to-school season, it’s easy to focus on lunchboxes and logistics while overlooking one of the most powerful foundations for our children’s growth—the food they eat every single day.
Food isn’t just fuel. For children whose brains, bodies, and immune systems are still developing, it’s information, protection, and emotional grounding. The way we feed our kids affects far more than just physical health. It shapes their ability to learn, handle stress, focus in class, and regulate emotions throughout the day.
Let’s explore why this matters so much, especially now.
Children’s brains are growing at a remarkable rate. By age 6, the brain reaches 90% of its adult size, and it keeps wiring and refining connections well into the teen years. Every nutrient your child consumes supports (or hinders) that process.
Omega-3 fats, found in chia seeds, flax, walnuts, and hemp hearts, are critical for cognitive function, memory, and focus.
Iron, needed for oxygen delivery to the brain, helps prevent fatigue and poor concentration.
B vitamins, magnesium, and healthy carbs (from oats, quinoa, and sweet potatoes) support neurotransmitter balance and steady energy.
Skipping breakfast or relying on ultraprocessed snacks can lead to irritability, energy crashes, and trouble focusing by mid-morning. In contrast, a nutrient dense and fiber-rich breakfast can stabilize blood sugar, sharpen focus, and keep mood steady — all essential for learning and socializing at school.
Schools are breeding grounds for microbes, But rather than fearing germs, we can equip our children with the internal defenses they need.
Did you know that over 70% of the immune system resides in the gut? That means a healthy microbiome (the community of good bacteria in the digestive tract) is your child’s frontline defense—not only against viruses, but against inflammation and long-term chronic conditions.
The key here is not just avoiding harmful foods like artificial dyes, preservatives, and excess sugar, but actively feeding the gut what it needs:
Prebiotic fiber from fruits, veggies, leafy greens and legumes.
Natural antimicrobials like onions, garlic, and ginger.
When kids are consistently eating nutrientdense, anti-inflammatory meals, they’re less likely to get sick frequently, miss school days, or depend on medications for minor ailments.
Blood sugar swings don’t just cause hyperactivity. They also trigger meltdowns, fatigue, and poor decision making. When children start their day with sugary cereal, or packaged waffles with pancake syrup, they often experience a spike in energy followed by a crash, which can manifest as irritability, sluggishness, or emotional reactivity.
On the other hand, giving your child a breakfast rich in protein, healthy fats, and slow digesting carbs like a bowl of oatmeal with fruit and almond butter, or a slice of sourdough toast with avocado, helps them regulate energy and emotions all day.
This emotional resilience is especially important as kids face social stressors, academic demands, and sensory overload during the school day.
The way we feed our kids today becomes the way they feed themselves tomorrow. Children naturally crave sweetness, but they also crave consistency, safety, and connection. When healthy meals are the norm, offered without pressure but with confidence, they grow up trusting their bodies and recognizing what it feels like to be well nourished.
We’re not just feeding them to get through the day, we’re helping them develop:
A healthy relationship with food. Awareness of how different foods affect their body and mood. Confidence in choosing foods that make them feel strong and focused.
This doesn’t have to be complicated or perfect. It starts with simple swaps and small moments: choosing fresh over packaged, inviting them into the kitchen, making smoothies together, or explaining why certain foods help them “think like a genius.”
Here are a few practical and gentle tips to help ease your family into a more nourishing rhythm:
Batch-prep breakfast components on Sunday like breakfast muffins, overnight oats and oatmeal cookies. Smoothie prep bags: freeze fruit, seeds, and greens in individual bags for quick breakfasts.
Swap out sugary granola bars for homemade muffins made with oats, banana, and almond butter.
Add a “rainbow goal”: challenge your kids to eat 3 colors of fruits or veggies each day.
Include mineral-rich snacks like granola bars, pumpkin seeds, or homemade trail mix.
Pack homemade iced tea with lemon and honey instead of boxed juice to support hydration.
Feeding our children isn’t just about nutrients, it’s an act of care. It’s a way of saying, “I see you. I want you to feel good today. I want you to be strong in body, steady in mind, and joyful in spirit.” When we prioritize whole, healing foods, we’re giving our children more than just calories, we’re giving them stability, clarity, and the inner resources to show up as their best selves in a world that often asks a lot from them.
Let this school year be not just a time to get “back on track,” but to reset with intention. Back to structure. Back to joy. Back to nourishment.
DO IT YOURSELF
If you’re up with the times, you know that crafting with duct tape is all the rage. Take ordinary school supplies and turn them into something to show off your unique personality. Here are a few tips to use duct tape to add style this school year.
Create your own design for the cover of your notebooks.
Design your own corner bookmark.
Style up boring school supplies with your favorite color or print.
Create an organizer for your desk.
Decals for your book bag are a great way to repurpose and be unique.
Create your own pattern for your textbooks or binders.
Families joined Boro Park Center for a lively day of petting zoo fun, colorful balloons, and a jaw-dropping science show.
Laughter and excitement filled the air, creating a day overflowing with simcha. Celebrating the day together with the community has never been this much fun!
By Suri Sprei, HHP, NC
Rosh Hashanah, the awe-inspiring start of the New Year is upon us once again. It’s a Yom Tov in which Am Yisroel expresses its heartfelt desires for a sweet new year filled with all the blessings of health and success. It is customary to have a variety of simanim at the seuda to symbolize each desire and its linked meaning. We dip the apple into honey, we have figs, dates, pomegranates, and carrots.
Did you know that each of these ancient customary simanim has a long list of incredible health benefits that have helped humankind throughout the centuries to combat disease and restore harmony in the body?
While sitting around the Yom Tov table, recite the tefilos for each one of the simanim and try to have in mind the healing powers they possess and what a gift from Hashem they truly are.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away is not some common street phrase with no basis for its claims. Apples are often underestimated, but don't be misled. This miracle fruit’s power is astounding. Apples are rich in the flavonoids quercetin and rutin, both of which are phytochemicals that have the strength to pull radiation out of the body and detox heavy metals like aluminum and lead. Quercetin has become popular now because of how powerful it is against Covid19 so increasing your apple intake can truly boost your immune system. Apples have a compound called pectin which is an incredible colon cleanser. As it passes through the gut it sweeps out viruses, mold, and bacteria. When apples were discovered they were toted as the constipation medicine because of how helpful they were for that condition. The red skin in apples contain the most health benefits and their phytochemicals strengthen neurotransmitters. Eating apples after a heavy meal can aid in the digestive process and can also stave away nausea. When you dip the apple into the honey on Rosh Hashanah, bear in mind the tremendous gift they are.
When honey is consumed in its raw and unpasteurized state it is highly medicinal. This is different than the processed honey that’s typically found on your local grocery shelf. The sugar in raw honey is nothing like processed white sugar as it’s loaded with over 200,000 phytochemical compounds and agents that are antiviral, antibacterial, and even anticancerous. Raw honey can actually stop cancer in its tracks and can repair damaged cells. Raw honey is anti-inflammatory and is a secret weapon for any infectious illness you are up against. It is also chock full of minerals such as selenium, zinc, potassium, and calcium. Honey has the power to draw out skin infections such as staph and the antibiotic-resistant MRSA. Honey is truly medicine that should be cherished and treasured. Honey has saved previous generations in times of famine, when food was scarce and hard to come by. Enjoy eating your apples dipped in this magical sweet syrup at your table and thank Hashem for this gift to humanity.
This beautiful majestic fruit that’s part of our Shivas Haminim is a powerful superfruit in its own right. The ruby red fruit is an incredible blood builder because it strengthens white and red blood counts. Pomegranate is exceptionally
antioxidant-rich and can actually dissolve kidney and gallbladder stones. It contains anti-tumor properties and is highly beneficial for PCOS due to its hormone-regulating power. Pomegranate can also stabilize blood sugar metabolism while the sugars in pomegranate can assist in brain focus and concentration. Pomegranate can even stop ear wax production and assist the body in ridding itself of it.
Another Shivas Haminim superstar, figs are delectable and heavenly fresh off a fig tree, but wait until you see what figs health benefits are! The skin of figs are antiseptic and the white milky liquid that you get when you pick it straight off the tree can rid the body of warts. As if that’s not enough, the fibers in figs massage the intestinal tract lining and can help with any type of indigestion or bloating. It can help with gut disorders like constipation, appendix inflammation, diverticulitis, and inflamed colon. Figs are loaded with vitamins and minerals; specifically B vitamins which are critical for the nervous system to properly function. The beautiful purple and green skin on figs contain compounds that increase probiotic colonies in the gut by feeding the good bacteria while the seeds go deep into the pockets of the intestines and clear it of harmful microbes. Enjoy figs fresh or dry.
Dates are another fruit that is part of our Shivas Haminim, and besides being nature's candy, they are chockful of incredible health benefits. Dates come in a few different varieties with different levels of sweetness and textures. The varieties are Medjool Dates, Piarom Dates, Deglet Noor Dates. Mazafati Dates, Barhi Dates, Rabbi Dates, Thoory Dates and Sayer Dates. Medjool dates are a favorite, and Israel is famous worldwide for this variety. Dates are rich in nearly 70 bioactive minerals that support the body in times of stress. Lactic acid is that well known Charley horse feeling in the muscles that occurs when the body has been pumping excess adrenaline. Dates will rid the body of lactic acid effectively. Dates are one of the best travel-friendly foods and can be a great pick-me-up–snack that quickly balances blood sugar levels. The fibers in dates can greatly aid in relieving constipation
and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Interestingly, Israel is the land of Milk and Honey and it is believed that the honey is actually date honey and not from honeybees.
Carrots are root vegetables that are pulled out of the soil and are incredibly mineral-rich. They come in a few different colors and each color has different antioxidant levels. Carrots are loaded with vitamin A which can improve eyesight. Notice when you slice a carrot, it actually looks like an eye! Carrots are wonderful both cooked and raw, however when they're consumed raw they have glucose that feeds the liver. Carrots are high in cancer-preventative compounds and are well known to be juiced for incredible health benefits. If you consume too many carrots don’t be alarmed if your skin turns an orange shade. That color is from the beta carotene in the carrot which is a top antioxidant for overall health and wellbeing. Carrots are great for bone health too, as they have high levels of phosphorus and vitamin K. Eat plenty of carrots if you have brittle bones to help improve bone density.
Kesiva Vchasima Tova!
May you be blessed with all the incredible health benefits that these Simamin boast and all the blessings you desire.
The Only Thing to Worry About on Rosh Hashanah
BY RABBI EFREM GOLDBERG
all know the joke about the classic text message from a Jewish mother:
“Start worrying. Details to follow.”
The truth is, there is much to worry about these days:
Worries about the economy and inflation.
Worries about hurricanes and the weather.
Worries about Covid and other health challenges.
Worries about Israel and its enemies.
Worries about the increase of antisemitism.
Worries about the divisiveness and polarization in this country.
And of course, worried about Rosh Hashanah and the High Holidays. Some are worried about coming before Hashem in judgment and others are worried about their seat, who will they be near… and yet others are worried about how long the rabbi will speak.
We have so many things to be worried, anxious, and afraid of, especially at this time of year.
Rabbi Soloveitchik introduces a beautiful concept. Oddly enough, beginning Monday
night, we introduce an expression into our prayers – “Please Hashem, instill fear within us.” Rabbi Soloveitchik describes how one year, an eminent psychiatrist said to him, “we should work to be free of fear, worry, and anxiety — not be praying for more of it!".
This is how he answered: Everyone is struggling with fear. Some are afraid they won’t succeed in their careers, others about losing their wealth, and others about status or prominence. Some are afraid of sickness, others are afraid of heights, public speaking, or the weather.
Said Rabbi Soloveitchik: I am not a psychiatrist, but I do know that one major source of fear can wipe out all of these lesser fears and that is fear of Hashem. We pray that fear of Hashem overtakes and uproots all other fears that lurk everywhere and upset our lives.
There are essentially two types of anxiety and worry. We worry over things not in our control because they aren’t in our control. We worry about illness, weather, traffic, delayed flights, and more. Then there are things we worry about specifically because they are in our control. For some, having free will is both liberating and terrifying at the same time. We worry about how well we will perform; will we execute, meet expectations, surpass them, or fall short of them? Can we endure and handle whatever comes our way? What if we fail?
We need to silence both voices of worry and it starts with believing we can. When those thoughts come and knock, firstly, we can decide if we let them in. And we can by choosing to replace these negative and anxious thoughts with confident and positive ones.
We are in the final days of the month of Elul, a month dedicated to getting us ready for the new year. The word Elul, when read backward, spells “lulei,” which means “if not,” or “if it weren’t for.” This word only appears in one place in the Torah.
We need to work on feeling and seeing Hashem in our lives, knowing there is an infinite, omnipotent One choreographing our lives.
When the brothers are trying to convince Yakov to send Binyomin with them back down to Yosef so that he would release Shimon, they appeal to him by saying: “For we could have been there (lulei) and back twice if we had not dawdled.” Rashi explains, “We would have already come back with Shimon and you would not have had this anxiety all these days.” Lulei is associated with anxiety, with what if, what could have been, what will be.
We also recite the word “lulei” in the Psalm we say every day during Elul – “Lulei he’emanti — Had I not believed in you Hashem that I would enjoy your goodness…”
We can quiet our worry by exchanging one “lulei” for the other. Instead of feeling if only this and what will be with that, we need to work on feeling and seeing Hashem in our lives, knowing all is orchestrated from above and that there is an infinite, omnipotent One choreographing our lives.
But what about the worry when it comes to ourselves and how well we will perform?
The Torah tells us that when we start to panic and feel that getting done what needs to get done or being who we need to be is as far away as the heavens, on the other side of the
ocean, we need to know “the thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to do it.” Hashem doesn’t ask for anything that is beyond us. Yes, we will come before Him Monday night, and we will be asked to reflect and hold ourselves accountable. But the very fact that He is forgiving and forbearing should itself be reassuring and encouraging.
Those who panic with anxiety over appearing on Rosh Hashanah before the Heavenly court are picturing the court as occupied by harsh, cruel judges. But we need to know the judge is in fact our Father. He understands our struggles and He wants our success. That is why we wear beautiful clothes and have a festive meal on Rosh Hashanah because our judgment day is the day we come before our Father.
So, it turns out that there is literally nothing to worry about. Mark Twain once said, “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Studies show that over 85% of the things we worry about don’t ever happen. And as far as the 15% that do, worrying never made them go away, never made them better, and never did anything other than compromise our own health and happiness.
Stop worrying by remembering that all that happens is meant to be and we have what it takes to deal with whatever comes our way.
By Suri Sprei, HHP, NC
Have you ever wondered what this world would be like without honeybees? Most people fear bees and flee in panic when they encounter one. But actually, without honeybees we would practically starve. Every single fruit, vegetable, grain seed or crop relies on those precious honeybees to pollinate the budding flowers in order to produce our food and sustain humanity. In addition, they provide a prized liquid gold: honey. Raw honey is extremely medicinal when used both internally and externally.
Let's break down the different types of raw honey available. Raw honey comes straight from the beehive and has not been heated to the point of pasteurization. Once it's extracted from the hive, it's strained to remove any beeswax and bee body parts and then bottled. Raw honey is available in both unfiltered and filtered options. I personally prefer the unfiltered honey because I get the added benefits of bee pollen and propolis which both add more benefits to the honey.
Did you know raw honey has no expiration date? Raw honey can last forever if stored in a sealed container and kept in a cool, dry area. In fact, raw honey has been dug up from ancient times and is still completely edible. Moisture will contaminate the honey and cause it to go rancid, but as long as it's kept at room temperature, it's completely safe to consume.
You can therefore use your raw honey beyond any expiration date. Since raw honey hasn't been heat treated, it has a thicker, more opaque consistency than processed honey. Raw honey contains no pesticides, herbicides, chemicals, or pollutants. Because of this, it's purer than the processed honey you'll typically see on your grocery shelf. Processed honey undergoes commercial processing methods such as pasteurization and filtration. These processing methods filter out antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients, as well as all pollen. Always choose raw honey over the regular processed honey you'll find on the grocery shelf.
Buckwheat honey is dark brown and very rich, and is similar to blackstrap molasses. It is collected from the small white blossoms of the buckwheat grain, which is commonly known as Kasha. This honey has a strong and earthy flavor and aroma compared to the lighter flavor of other honeys. This honey is best used for cooking and baking because of its strong taste.
Manuka honey is well sought after for its impressive antibacterial properties. While all raw honey will have natural antibacterial qualities, Manuka honey has a much greater amount. Manuka honey is from Australia and New Zealand and is named Manuka after the Manuka bush the bees pollinate. This honey has a mildly sweet taste with a slight nutty flavor. Applied externally, Manuka honey is a fantastic MRSA and staph remedy.
Clover honey is one of the most popular varieties found in the United States. It has a very floral aroma with a light, sweet flavor that makes it a good all-purpose honey.
With light citrusy notes, this honey is derived from the blossoms of Florida's orange groves. It has a beautiful golden color and a delicious sweet taste and aroma. The citrus undertones of orange blossom honey add a great flavor to baked goods and many people add this honey to their butter or jam for a delicious treat.
There are several components to raw honey that add to its nutritional profile and depth. Each one has incredible benefits to the immune system and overall health so it's best to try to incorporate as many as possible.
HONEYCOMB Bees create honeycombs which hold their larvae, honey, and pollen. Honeycomb is made of beeswax and contains honey in its purest form. Honeycomb is edible and people have been eating honeycomb for thousands of years. Not only is honeycomb a tasty, all-natural snack, but it is also rich in vitamins and minerals.
PROPOLIS This product, from the honeybees is one of nature's gifts to mankind. Propolis, is a resin-like liquid that the bees will use to seal off their hive from viruses and bacteria. It's an antiseptic and extremely powerful against harmful pathogens. Used as a natural remedy topically, it can help with canker sores and any herpetic outbreak on the body. It's also great for oral health and can help reverse gum disease. When used internally it can be a potent antibiotic and can help anything from strep throat to urinary tract infections. Truly a miraculous force of nature.
BEE POLLEN is ranked as a superfood for its high nutritional profile and its anti–inflammatory, antimicrobial, and antiviral properties. Bee pollen provides nutritional food for bees. It is a natural mixture of bee secretions, enzymes, wax, and flower pollen. Beekeepers will not harvest it too often, though, because it puts the entire beehive at risk.
By Baruch Hershkowitz
As Elul rolls in and the Yamim Noraim come into view, our minds naturally turn inward. We take stock of the past year—how we spoke, how we acted, how we treated the people around us. We ask ourselves: Am I living the way I know I’m meant to live? Am I drawing closer to Hashem, or drifting without realizing?
Some parts of that reflection feel good. We see areas where we’ve grown, where we pushed ourselves, where we tried. Other parts are harder to look at—places we got stuck, promises we broke, things we said we’d change but didn’t.
We all want to grow. We want to build better habits, become more focused, more grounded, more connected—to ourselves, to the people around us, and above all, to Hashem. But real change is hard. Inspiration can light a spark, but it fades quickly. We’ve all had that cycle: fired up one day, back to old patterns the next.
The Torah gives us a path: teshuvah, cheshbon hanefesh, and step-by-step growth. And in recent years, research into human behavior and habit formation has uncovered strategies that line up remarkably well with the wisdom we’ve always had. Psychology, neuroscience, behavioral science: they’re uncovering the mechanics of change, and they’re tools we can use.
So in the spirit of the Yamim Noraim, let’s explore ten practical, powerful, and evidence-based strategies that can help us do more than just want to grow. They can help us actually change and move closer to the people we’re meant to become. With a little hishtadlus and a lot of siyata dishmaya, this can be the year we don’t just hope for more, but the year we finally achieve it.
If you want to build a new habit, make it obvious. In simple terms, that means: don’t rely on willpower or memory—design your environment so that the habit practically jumps out at you. The more visible, accessible, and convenient something is, the more likely you are to do it. And the opposite is true too: when the trigger for a bad habit is hidden or inconvenient, it starts to fade away.
Think of it like this: our actions are often shaped not by what we decide to do, but by what’s right in front of us. That’s why if there’s a candy bowl on the table, we’ll snack without thinking. But if it’s out of sight, we don’t even miss it. This is what behavioral psychologists call a cue—a trigger that sets a habit in motion. Studies show that around 40% of our daily actions are habits, many of them mindless and cued by our surroundings. That’s why changing the environment is one of the easiest, most powerful ways to build new behavior.
• Want to start saying Tehillim more often? Leave your Tehillim on the couch or table where you drink your coffee When you see it, it’s an easy win to say a kapitel or two.
• Want to remember to give tzedakah every day? Put a pushka right near the door or on your desk. Make it beautiful, noticeable, and easy to access.
• Trying to eat healthier? Put fruit on the counter in a nice bowl. Hide the nosh. (You can still enjoy it, just not as a reflex.)
Bring your good habits into the spotlight.
Chazal understood this long before modern psychology. The Mesillas Yesharim opens with the concept of zehirus, awareness and mindfulness. The first step in Avodas Hashem is noticing your actions and where they’re coming from. If your surroundings are steering you toward the wrong choices, or away from the right ones, that’s where the work starts.
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe zt”l wrote that seder— structure and order—is a defining trait of a serious ben Torah. He emphasized how our environments, from the way our room is set up to the way we organize our time, shape our inner world. And the famous line from Chazal: “Derech eretz kadmah laTorah” reminds us that building the derech is what allows Torah values to truly take root and influence our life.
This strategy is also built on decades of research. Habit expert Wendy Wood and others found that when people changed their environments, their habits changed almost automatically—even when motivation stayed the same. This is why gyms encourage you to leave your sneakers by the door, and why dietitians tell clients to clean out their pantry. As James Clear, author of the bestselling book Atomic Habits writes: “Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior.” This week, look at one area in your life where you want to grow. Then ask: “What visual reminder or small change could I make to bring this goal into view?” Even a little shift— like moving a sefer from the bookshelf to your coffee table—can make a big difference. Change doesn’t always need a big speech or a burst of inspiration. Sometimes, it just needs to be obvious.
Sometimes the hardest part of building a new habit is just remembering to do it. That’s where habit stacking comes in. The idea is simple: take a habit you already do consistently—like washing negel vasser, drinking coffee, or saying brachos—and “stack” a new habit right after it. This way, you’re not starting from scratch. Instead, you’re piggybacking on something that’s already built into your daily rhythm.
• After I bench, ’ll take 30 seconds to reflect on one thing I’m grateful for. a kapitel or two.
• After I come home from Maariv, I’ll learn one halacha before sitting down.
• After I put the kids to bed, I’ll say a perek of Tehillim.
•
Link something new to something you’re already doing.
The beauty of habit stacking is that it works with the flow of your life instead of against it. You’re not carving out new time, you’re just anchoring something meaningful to a routine that’s already there. Chazal speak about mitzvah goreres mitzvah, how one mitzvah pulls another in its wake. When you tie a spiritual act to something you already do, it becomes second nature.
This method taps into how the brain works. When we link behaviors together, our minds begin to treat them as one unit. Over time, the second habit becomes just as automatic as the first. Research in neuroscience calls this “synaptic chaining”—basically, one action fires the signal that leads straight into the next. So don’t wait for the “perfect time” to start something new. Instead, look at your day and ask:
“What do I already do every single day, and what small new action could I add right after it?” Before you know it, those little stacks add up to a real tower of growth.
When we link behaviors together, our minds begin to treat them as one unit.
Not all habits are created equal. Some small behaviors have an outsized impact, not just in one area, but across your entire life. These are called keystone habits, and they’re the secret engine behind lasting growth. Unlike habit stacking, where the pre-existing habit can be more neutral, keystones are new habits with built-in positive elements.
What makes a habit a “keystone”? It’s one of those powerful routines that, once you lock it in, starts to cause ripple effects in other areas. A classic example from the research: people who start exercising regularly often find themselves eating healthier, sleeping better, and managing their time more efficiently, even if they didn’t plan to change those things. One habit sets off a chain reaction. In life, keystone habits are all over the place, you just have to know where to look.
These aren’t major lifestyle overhauls. They’re small, intentional shifts, tiny hinges that swing big doors. That’s the power of a keystone habit: It doesn’t just affect one area, it creates a ripple effect that brings more seder and focus to your day. A keystone habit gives you structure. It helps set the tone, frames your priorities, and often leads to other positive choices without forcing them. You’re not trying to change everything, just establishing one steady point that everything else can build around. Ask yourself:
“What one habit that if I actually kept it consistently would improve everything
else?” Start there. That’s your keystone.
Find the one habit that upgrades everything else.
• Consistent morning davening: A man starts going to Shacharis on time, attending the same minyan consistently even just a few days a week. Suddenly, his whole morning routine improves—he eats breakfast instead of skipping, starts work on time, and feels more grounded during the day.
• Krias Shema with kavannah: A yeshiva bochur decides to pause for 10 seconds before Shema to think about what he’s saying. It seems small, but soon he’s davening Shemone Esrei with more focus, making more thoughtful choices, and feeling more spiritually connected
• Post-lunch chesed call: A retiree makes it a habit to call or message one person who might need a kind word or check-in right after he finishes his Bracha Achrona for lunch. Tying it to the gratitude Brachos helps him stay consistent, and over time, it becomes a small but powerful daily act of chesed that strengthens relationships and brings comfort to others.
Most people build habits by focusing on goals: I want to lose weight. I want to finish Shas. I want to stop yelling at my kids when I’m stressed. But those kinds of goals focus on what you want to achieve, not who you want to become. And when the results don’t come quickly, we give up. James Clear flips that approach. He says: instead of asking “What do I want to accomplish?”, ask: “Who do I want to be?” and then “What would that kind of person do?” This is called identity-based habit-building, and it’s incredibly powerful. It turns your actions into expressions of who you are, not random chores or disconnected resolutions.
Let’s say you want to daven with more kavannah. Don’t just set a goal like “Say Shemoneh Esrei slower.” Instead, think: “I want to be a person who speaks to Hashem like He’s right in front of me.” Suddenly, slowing down isn’t a task, it’s part of who you are. Or maybe you want to get better at learning every day. Instead of “Finish one daf a day,” try: “I’m a ben Torah who never lets a day go by without learning.” Now it’s not about checking a box—it’s about living in line with your values.
This shift is more than motivational fluff. Neuroscience shows that behavior tied to identity is more likely to stick. When your brain sees a habit as part of who you are, it fights to protect it. It becomes a reflection of your selfimage, and that’s hard to break.
The Rambam writes in Hilchos Tesuva that a true baal teshuva should “change his name… as if to say, ‘I am a different person; I am not the same one who did those actions.’ Teshuva, in his view, is not just about behavior—it’s about becoming
Don’t just do —become
someone new. This aligns deeply with the idea of identity-based habits: that lasting change comes not just from what you do, but from who you believe yourself to be. When your daily actions reflect the person you aspire to become, they’re no longer just habits—they're building blocks of a new self. Teshuva, then, is not only a return—it’s a reconstruction. A process of shaping your life, one small, consistent act at a time, into a version of yourself that’s closer to your values and closer to Hashem.
• “I am a Yid who always gives tzedakah when I pass a pushka.” → Drop a coin every time you walk past, no matter how small.
• “I’m a parent who listens with patience.”
→ Stop and take a breath before responding, even during bedtime chaos.
• “I’m a person who values Torah over distractions.” → Keep your sefer open on the table instead of your phone.
Ask yourself:
“Who do I want to be this Elul?”
Then build one small habit that reflects that identity. When you act like the person you want to become, you become that person— one step at a time.
Good intentions aren’t enough. You can feel inspired, even determined, but when the moment actually comes, life often gets in the way. You’re tired. Distracted. Pulled in other directions. That’s why precommitment is one of the most effective tools for habit change. It removes the burden of making decisions in the moment by deciding in advance what you’ll do and when you’ll do it.
Behavioral psychology calls this an implementation intention, a simple but powerful technique where you spell out the exact details of your intended action: “I will [do this behavior] at [this time] in [this place].” Research consistently shows that people who form these kinds of specific plans are far more likely to follow through. You’re not waiting to feel ready—you’re setting a default you can return to, even when things get chaotic. These small steps build structure around your values and structure is what keeps habits alive when motivation fades.
Make the decision before the moment arrives.
Nobel Prize–winning economist Richard Thaler coined the term “commitment device” to describe strategies that lock in good behavior before temptation arises. In one well-known study, people who wrote down exactly when and where they planned to exercise were over twice as likely to follow through compared to those who just had a vague goal. The more specific the plan, the higher the success rate.
Precommitment works because it makes action easy and default. You’re not depending on willpower, you’re depending on clarity. When the moment comes, you’re not stuck making a decision. Your earlier focused self already made it for you. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need a plan and a place to put it.
• Block out time on your calendar: 10 minutes of Halacha after breakfast or Daf Yomi after Maariv, just like you would schedule a meeting.
• Set reminders with intention: not just “remember,” but “At 1:00 PM, I’ll pause to say Asher Yatzar slowly.
• Write down your nighttime wind-down routine: “At 10:30 PM, I put my phone away, say Shema, and spend 5 quiet minutes reflecting or learning.”
In the morning brachos, we say it every day: “לאו
” — “Don’t bring us to a test.” We’re not asking Hashem to give us superhuman strength to overcome every challenge, we’re asking not to face the challenge in the first place. That’s a deep lesson in how we approach growth: real strength isn’t just about resisting. It’s about setting things up so we don’t need to resist as often.
Researchers studying habit loops explain that almost every bad habit starts with a cue, a trigger that sets the whole routine in motion. See your phone? You scroll. Smell cholent in the kitchen? You snack. Hear lashon hara? You lean in. If the cue isn’t there, the urge weakens or disappears entirely. Other studies show how even strong people fall when they are in weak environments. Willpower, it turns out, is a terrible long-term strategy. The people who succeed? They set things up so they don’t need to use willpower all the time.
• If you find yourself checking your phone first thing in the morning and skipping davening, put your phone in a drawer overnight. Don’t give the yetzer hara an opening before you even say Modeh Ani.
• If you tend to say things you regret when certain conversations come up, set a rule: “If the topic gets negative, I exit the room,
Bring your good habits into the spotlight.
change the subject, or take a phone call.” It sounds small, but that one redirect can protect your day—and your relationships.
• If you snack late at night and it ruins your energy the next day, don’t keep nosh in the house “just in case guests come.” If it’s not in the cabinet, you’re not eating it.
This is a core strategy in addiction psychology and impulse control therapy. One study published in Psychological Review found that removing environmental triggers (not fighting them) was the most effective long-term approach for reducing relapse. People didn’t “get stronger”—they just got smarter about what they exposed themselves to.
Pirkei Avot reinforces this exact approach. In 1:7, Nittai HaArbeli teaches, “Distance yourself from a bad neighbor, and do not associate with the wicked”—reminding us that exposure matters. Even if you’re strong, the environment still shapes your behavior. Later, in 4:14, we’re told to “exile yourself to a place of Torah,” and in 6:9, Rabbi Yose ben Kisma refuses immense wealth rather than leave his spiritually nourishing city. Chazal understood that the best strategy to stay strong is not avoidance, but proactive Avodas Hashem. By staying out of situations that weaken you, you gain the upper hand on the yetzer hara and win the battle before it even starts.
When we think about changing ourselves, we often go big: “From now on, I’m waking up for Vasikin, finishing a masechta every few months, exercising daily, and never saying Lashon Hara again” It sounds impressive, but it usually doesn’t last. Why? Because we’re aiming for perfect, not possible. As the Gemara tells us, “If you seize a lot, you have not grasped anything; if you seize a small amount, you have grasped something.” Real, lasting growth comes from doing something small and doing it consistently. This is the idea behind the 1% rule. Instead of trying to overhaul your life overnight, just aim to be 1% better today than you were
You can’t improve what you don’t notice. That’s why one of the most powerful, underrated tools for real growth is also one of the simplest: keeping track. Most people think tracking is for accountants or calorie-counters. But in reality, it’s a game-changer for anyone trying to build consistency and awareness in their habits, especially when it comes to things like davening, learning, middos, or even health. This connects with our idea of Cheshbon Hanefesh, discussed at length by the Chovos Halevavos and others: Keeping track of how each day was spent becomes a tremendous tool for change. Here’s how it works: when you start noticing your behavior, whether it’s writing it down,
yesterday. One more pasuk. One more minute of kavannah. One less negative comment. These little improvements don’t feel dramatic in the moment—but over time, they compound into something powerful.
And here’s where the brain plays tricks on us: neurological research shows that people get a mental high just from making a big commitment. The brain releases dopamine, the same feelgood chemical tied to achievement, just from announcing a huge goal. The result? We feel like we’ve already accomplished something… and then never follow through. That’s why grand
If you can see it, you can change it
checking a box, or even just being more aware, you automatically begin to shift. It’s like turning on a light in a dark room. You can suddenly see what’s really going on. Research has consistently shown that self-monitoring, simply keeping track of what you’re doing, is one of the most effective tools for behavior change.
An analysis of over 100 behavior change studies found that people who tracked their habits were significantly more likely to succeed. In fact, selfmonitoring alone often doubled the chances of success, especially when combined with a clear goal. For example, participants in a weight loss study who kept a daily log of their eating habits
resolutions often fizzle out. Tiny gains, on the other hand, don’t give you that initial thrill, but they actually work.
One famous study by psychologist, Anders Ericsson at the Berlin Academy of Music, proves this. He studied young violinists and found that those who became world-class performers weren’t necessarily more talented. They just practiced differently. The best ones had put in around 10,000 hours of deliberate, focused practice by age 20, slow, steady, targeted work. Not dramatic leaps, not all-nighters, just showing up daily and improving one skill at a time. The average performers, by contrast, had only done around 4,000 hours—and much of it was unfocused. Ericsson’s conclusion? Excellence comes not from raw talent, but from compounded effort over time.
• Want to start learning more? Add 60 seconds of learning after Maariv. Just one more Mishnah or one more line of Gemara.
• Trying to speak more gently? Catch yourself once a day, and rephrase it. That one moment plants a seed.
• Want to work on health? Start by drinking one glass of water before coffee. That’s it. It builds from there.
Forget perfect. Just ask:
“What’s one tiny thing I can do today to move in the right direction?”
Then do it again tomorrow. That’s how you grow. Not all at once, but one percent at a time.
lost twice as much weight as those who didn’t. But it wasn’t the diet that made the difference— it was the act of tracking.
This principle applies across the board: whether it’s improving sleep, productivity, or spiritual habits like tefillah and learning, tracking creates awareness, and awareness creates change.
What matters most is consistency, not complexity. You don’t need a spreadsheet or an app. A scrap of paper or wall calendar can work just as well. The key is to turn your effort into something visible. Because once you see progress, you want to protect it. You feel it. You own it. And when life throws you off rhythm (and it always does) your tracking system is your soft landing. It reminds you: “You were doing it and you can get back to it.” You’re not starting from scratch: you’re continuing a journey.
• Learning streak calendar: Hang a chart on your fridge, bedroom wall, or locker. Mark off each day you open a sefer, even if it’s only for three minutes. That growing chain of checkmarks becomes its own source of motivation.
• Middos journaling: Keep a small notebook near your bed and write one line a day, something like “Held back from responding sharply” or “Spoke calmly during a frustrating moment.” No judgment, just honest reflection.
• Davening focus: Place a sticky note in your siddur and check it off each time you daven with kavannah during Shema. Over time, it turns into a quiet but powerful push to focus more.
One of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to improve is thinking we have to do it all by ourselves. We tell ourselves, “I just need to push harder,” or “I should be able to do this on my own.” But the truth is, growth happens faster and lasts longer when we do it with other people. “Tovim hashenayim min ha’echad”—two are better than one (Koheles 4:9). That’s why we learn b’chavrusa, why we daven with a minyan, why Chazal urged us to be part of a kehillah. We don’t just value personal growth, we believe in shared growth. When people push each other, inspire each other, and hold each other accountable, their growth becomes more real, more grounded, and more lasting.
Whether it’s learning, exercising, improving middos, or breaking a bad habit, studies consistently show that when we team up with others, we’re far more likely to stick with it. Why? Because when someone else is doing it with you or even just cheering you on, you don’t have to rely on sheer willpower. You’ve got structure, support, and a reason to show up even when you’re not feeling it.
In one widely cited study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, participants who set a goal and shared weekly updates with a friend had a 76% success rate, compared to only 43% among those who kept their goals to themselves. Other research confirms it: when people work on behavior change in a group or with a partner, accountability, consistency, and motivation all go up—and guilt and shame go down. In short: we’re better at growth when we’re not doing it in a vacuum.
And remember, this doesn’t have to be intense or formal. It can be as simple as texting a friend: “Let’s both say a perek of Tehillim a day and check in once a week.” Or making a deal with your sibling: “We both get off our phones by 10:30.” You’d be surprised how much more consistent you become when someone else is in it with you.
Joining others brings a sense of belonging, accountability, and momentum. Even when your own motivation dips, someone else’s push can carry you. And when you’re both growing together, it doesn’t just change your habit; it deepens your relationship. The shared growth becomes part of your bond. We weren’t meant to climb alone. Growth is meant to be shared, and it’s sweeter when it is.
We often think growth has to hurt. That if we’re not beating ourselves up, we’re not really doing teshuva. But real change doesn’t come from selfflagellation, it comes from building momentum. One of the most powerful ways to do that is by celebrating what’s going right. When you acknowledge and enjoy even small victories, you reinforce the part of yourself that wants to grow. It’s not arrogance. It’s spiritual fuel.
The Torah makes this point clearly. In Devarim 28:47, we’re told: “Because you did not serve Hashem your God with joy and a good heart…” The tragedy that follows isn’t about a lack of action, it’s about a lack of joy. Simcha isn’t extra. It’s part of the avodah itself. When you pause to celebrate growth, you’re not only reinforcing good behavior—you’re deepening your relationship with Hashem.
Modern research backs this up. At Stanford’s Behavior Design Lab, Dr. BJ Fogg found that pairing a positive emotion like pride, gratitude, or even a smile with a behavior actually helps lock it into the brain. That dopamine boost makes it easier to repeat. In this framework, celebration isn’t a reward for success, it creates success.
• Create a short, joyful ritual after a small win: say “Baruch Hashem,” or even smile and whisper “yes” after doing something hard. It may feel awkward at first—but your brain will remember the feeling.
• Share success with someone close: Text a friend: “I made it to minyan today” or “I got through that tough conversation without losing it.” Let someone else celebrate with you—it strengthens the win.
• Keep a ‘simcha shelf’ of wins: Write down one daily success on a card and keep them where you’ll see them. Read them before Shabbos or on Erev Rosh Hashanah to remind yourself: this is who I’m becoming.
CHARNIE KOHN