14 Humor lol
www.theodysseyonline.com
UNDERSTANDING THE LANGUAGE OF WOMEN:
WHAT WE SAY VS. WHAT WE MEAN
This is for all of the guys
out there. Have you ever felt like girls were saying one thing but meant something totally different?
Chances are that you are
probably right for once. In
MEGHAN CAPPS Chi Omega
Meghan is a junior studying agricultural economics & political science. You may contact her at mcapps92@vt.edu.
order to help you out since
I know I’m just as guilty of this as the next girl, here is some insight on what we really mean.
it’s usually a double edged sword. Not only is she mad about something, but she’s
also mad that you don’t know what it is. Best case scenario: you can figure out what is wrong and fix it. Worst case scenario: just keep trying to figure it out. Nothing will make her more mad then you actually believing that “nothing” means nothing.
“Do whatever you want.”: Do not, I repeat, do NOT do whatever you want. This
is like a child being double-dog-dared. It’s not an actual invitation for you to go to the strip club or to a party without her. If you actually take her up on this, then you alone deserve the consequences. No man in his right mind should ever actually do whatever he wants after this statement.
“Wow.”: Guys, wow is never a compliment. Wow is a reflection of your stupidity.
“It’s fine, I’m fine, we’re fine,” or any variation.: Fine is not a good word for
The more o’s in the word, the more baffled we are. Wow is a term used when girls
it too (without gaining an ounce of course). If a girl tells you she is fine it probably
the first time she sees you trading in your rugged full beard for a mustache, that
women. We don’t want anything to be fine. We always want to have our cake and eat means that she is just tired of arguing about it because you are obviously too dense to realize you are in the wrong. You will realize soon enough how “fine” she really was when it either continues to come up until you admit defeat, or she starts withholding bedroom privileges. In summary, fine means the opposite.
“It’s up to you.”: There is no way that this ever means it is actually up to you. It
means you better make the decision I want and not make me feel bad about it. No girl wants everyone to know she wears the pants. She wants to do what she wants to
do, but make it look like it was all your idea. This line is also a last resort at the end of an argument. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you actually think it is up to you…
“Nothing.”: Something. Nothing always means there is something. Lucky for you,
cannot believe you are stupid enough to do, say or buy something. It’s reserved for time you thought it would be a good idea to have the waiters at Outback sing to her
on her 22nd birthday, or the moment when she takes your shirt off and realizes that you have shaved your fraternity letters out of your back hair. Wow…
“I’m not looking for a relationship, just fun.”: No girl is just looking for fun. Ever.
Her idea of fun is to start by hooking up, then turn it into a committed relationship. After two years or so, it will lead to a ring by Spring. Doesn’t that sound like fun guys?
So now that you know how to speak the language of women, I recommend
chocolate when she says things are fine, flowers when she says nothing, and wine for anything and everything above. You are welcome.