Summer Issue | Volume 3, Issue 31 | Champaign, IL
www.theodysseyonline.com | @TheOdyssey_Illinois | Facebook.com/uiucodyssey
ZBT VS. SAMMYS: A FALL RIVALRY page 4
SPRING FASHION WITH FIRA BOUTIQUE page 7 GRANTING MORE THAN WISHES page 10 BARN DANCE SEASON: THE DO’S AND DON’TS page 12
Illinois Greeks make the extra effort to support their philanthropies. Credit: Submitted image
2 Editor's note
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ON SNOW: MY OUTRAGE IS JUSTIFIED, EXTREMISM ISN’T BLAIZE STEWART Alpha Sigma Phi Editor-in-Chief
Blaize is a senior studying broadcast journalism. You may contact him at bpstewa2@illinois.edu.
are just a small sampling of the questions that me and thousands of students want the answer to. -Why do we have school when universities in surrounding areas have already been closed down, including Illinois State University that is closed until Wednesday? -Are there any extra precautions that are being taken to ensure the safety of the students in the extreme weather conditions?
When extreme weather hits, what’s the first (and perhaps only) one thing on our minds? Get bread and milk from the store? Nope! We want to know if we get the day off and for good reason.
-How were you able to make the decision at roughly 10 P.M. to continue on with classes before the weather conditions had started to worsen?
It is a rare thing to have any unscheduled days off at any school, but here at the University of Illinois, a snow day on January 27th seemed inevitable. With temperatures combined with wind chill hitting negative 20 and lower, there was no way we could be expected to trudge through bone-chilling temperatures for class.
-Why was there no response to the petition to cancel classes that amassed over 8,500 signatures from the student body (roughly 1/5 of the undergrad population)?
So when Chancellor Phyllis Wise sent out an email at roughly 10:00 P.M. saying that classes would continue on as normal, there was considerable backlash. I was astonished that our school would chose to operate normally in such conditions. There was a petition circulating calling for a cancellation, and several students posed mature, considerate questions that have yet to be answered. These
I believe I speak for most of my fellow students when I say that is in no way an accurate representation of this community. Representing an entire undergraduate population with the social media antics of a small percentage of disgruntled students is an ignorant and, frankly, unfair practice, even if you qualify your sources using phrasing like “for some” and “several.” I was embarrassed to wake up to see what some of my peers had sent out on social media about our Chancellor. I understood their frustration and anger with the situation but just chose to take a different route.
-What is the justification for having classes when a 10-15 minute trip, which is well within the range of many students walk to class, out in -20 weather can result in severe medical issues?
The Buzzfeed article continued on with the racist theme by bringing up the University of Illinois’ former mascot, Chief Illiniwek. After being banned in 2007, there has still be strong support in bringing back the Fighting Illini’s mascot. However someone used this desire to have our mascot return as proof in supporting the idea that our campus is full of racists. Seeing as this issue has absolutely nothing to do with the weather and that there are several other issues surrounding the matter, it seemed ridiculous to bring it into this situation.
Had it ended with these questions, I believe it would have ended much better. At the very least, there would not have been a Buzzfeed article bashing the student population of the University of Illinois as racist and sexist.
Like I said, I do not condone the actions of the students who sent racist, sexist and altogether immature comments at Chancellor Wise. However, I do believe that the university needs to answer the question of why we did have school in such extreme conditions.
THE ODYSSEY AT ILLINOIS EXECUTIVE TEAM President Taylor Lundy
Kappa Alpha Theta
Sales Executives Jackie Manning
Kappa Alpha Theta
Steven Zarate
Lambda Chi Alpha
CREATIVE TEAM Editor-in-Chief Blaize Stewart
Alpha Sigma Phi
Contributing Editor Vaaeza Shahab Chi Omega
Contributing Editor Melissa Johannesen Pi Beta Phi
OLYMPIA MEDIA GROUP 888.272.2595 | OlympiaMediaGroup.com Will McGuinness, Managing Editor Celesta Török-Lee, Designer
We want a representative from every house! To apply for a writing, photography or sales position, theodysseyonline.com/Page/WriterApplication © 2013 Olympia Media Group, LLC All Rights Reserved. The Odyssey is a private entity not associated or governed by The University of Illinois or Illinois Greek life office. The views and opinions shared in The Odyssey are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Odyssey and Olympia Media Group.
3
Scene on campus
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A TASTE OF SCHOOL WITHOUT THE SCHOOL IN THE SUMMER, GREEK REUNION STEPHANIE WEBER Pi Beta Phi
Stephanie is a sophomore studying economics. You may contact her at swebs05@gmail.com It’s an age old saying, “I wish I was in school without the school”. Well, Greek Reunion is your chance to experience that. With the school year coming to an end, it’s hard not to start feeling sentimental. Your brothers and sisters have planned to meet up in the city and will be hanging out all the time. However, once summer starts it’s easy to forget these plans, be incapable of finding a time that accommodates everyone, or to find an easy meeting place. At the University of Illinois we have a solution for everything. What is the solution to missing your brothers and sisters? Greek Reunion. Greek Reunion is the highlight of summer for all Greeks at the Urbana-Champaign campus. For those of you freshmen who have yet to hear of this glorious celebration, it is a weekend of festivities celebrated on campus in between the two summer
school sessions. This year, that weekend falls on the 4th of July weekend. Don’t worry, though, when Greek Reunion rolls around, you will know. So, in the middle of June when you are missing your friends from school and are sick of sitting around on your couch with that “home is so boring” mentality, here is what you have to look forward to. There is the stress of having to find somewhere to stay. Your house’s Facebook page is being blown up with people looking for a place to stay. It seems as though the apartments of everyone who is on campus for the summer are filled. The solution is start looking for a place to stay, immediately. As in right now – start asking around. Once you have a place to stay, it is critical to find a way down to Champaign for the weekend. I suggest a carpool with your brothers and sisters who live close to you. After all, what is better than jamming out to your latest summer hits getting pumped for the weekend ahead and then all sharing the memories made (or forgotten) on your way home that Sunday? Next up is finding the perfect summer outfit. During Greek Reunion you spend all day outside dancing in the sprinklers and plastic pools in Seniorland so the only required clothing is a swimsuit for the day and a hefty amount of sunscreen.
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Since it is July and you most likely will frequent your favorite Champaign establishment at night, I would suggest an array of summer clothing. Boys, all you need are shorts and a tee shirt. For girls, it’s one of the few times you can actually wear wedges and a summer dress, so take advantage of the situation. Greek Reunion is an all day and night event for an entire weekend. Make sure you properly hydrate – with water, that is. Also, make sure you receive adequate sleep the week before because, just like school session, you will leave Champaign sleep deprived. Have a large supply of sunscreen. Spending all day outside isn’t fun when you look like a lobster. Finally, make sure you eat. After all, it is your only time these three months you’ll be re-exposed to the glory that is Maize. The biggest thing to look forward to over Greek Reunion is seeing your brothers and sisters, again. It is the one time of summer that everyone makes it a priority to come down to Champaign and hang out. You’ll see your brothers and sisters, your best friends and make some of the greatest memories. It is the last time you’ll get to see the working graduating seniors before they start their professional life and it’s a break from how boring home is. You’re finally reunited with all of your best friends. Greek Reunion is the reminder, when summer gets boring, of why we are always looking forward to get back to campus.
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4 Scene on campus
ZBT VS. SAMMYS: www.theodysseyonline.com
A FALL RIVALRY BROOKE DAHMER Pi Beta Phi
Stephanie is a sophomore studying economics. You may contact her at swebs05@gmail.com Football season is here again and with that comes fantasy leagues, tailgates and casual scrimmages with friends. However, for the men of Zeta Beta Tau and Sigma Alpha Mu, tossing the ball around has evolved into one of the most competitive and anticipated events of the year. For decades, these two fraternities have challenged each others’ freshmen pledge classes to compete in an all-out flag football game. With practices held five to six days per week almost two months before the game, both houses take the event very seriously. “The preparation is a huge commitment,” said sophomore Mitchell Lev of Sigma Alpha Mu. “It’s a big way that new members can prove how much they care about the house.”
New members aren’t the only ones who participate.
strategies. The older brothers’ support is a big part of
The older members of each house also play a big role in
keeping the new members pumped up and focused on
the success of the freshmen players. “The older brothers
victory.
come to practice and scrimmage against the freshmen,” said junior Luke Ray of Zeta Beta Tau. “They give them strong competition while demonstrating how important this tradition is to the rest of the house.” With all of the commitment and effort that is put into preparing for the event, once game day rolls around both houses are alive with excitement and anticipation. Jerseys are made, faces painted and every brother is eager to win.
“As a freshman it’s pretty cool to see older brothers, even seniors you’ve never met, painting their bodies and standing out there in the cold screaming all game long,” said Lev. “It really teaches new members how much the fraternity means to everyone involved.” Motivating the younger brothers and preparing them for the game makes it easier for the older members to get to know the new pledge classes and it’s also a great way for the freshmen to bond. “Obviously the
Junior Spencer Schwartz of Sigma Alpha Mu revealed,
game was so exciting, but the best part about it was
“Anybody that’s been around this spectacle will say
coming together as a [pledge] class,” said sophomore
that they love it. It’s one of those marquee events that
Dan Easley of Zeta Beta Tau. “It created brotherhood
everyone gets excited for. Parents, friends, alumni and
amongst the freshman class and the entire house comes
even national representatives come down for the game.”
together for one big goal.”
During the game, energy is high and the excitement
The rivalry will continue this year on Nov. 1 at the
is contagious. Members on the sidelines taunt the
intramural fields. Make sure to support the brothers
other team and cheer on their brothers as loud as they
of both fraternities and cheer their new members on
can, while also helping to formulate game plans and
to victory!s.
Scene on campus
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5
YOU KNOW YOU GO TO UofI WHEN...
Every school has its own
inside jokes that people from
other schools simply do not and will not understand.
So without further ado,
you know you go to U of I when…
ABBY MURIN Chi Omega
You have a guilty pleasure for studying in the BIF, even though you’re not a business major.
“You live in FAR/PAR? Aww, I’m sorry.”
Abby is a freshman studying human (For the Ladies) As fun as recruitment is, there will always be a small part of you development and family studies. You may contact her at afmurin@ that is outrageously jealous of fraternity rush. comcast.net. You have one too many coupon books because EVERYONE hands them out
You’re emotionally attached to a bronze statue. You’re used to the level of surprise in someone’s voice when they find out you’re not from the suburbs.
Your classes AREN’T cancelled. Ever. You’ve experienced all four seasons of the year in one semester. You have found love on Joe’s dance floor. You can tell how good of a day it’s going to be by the smell of campus. Special shout out to you, South Farms.
Blow darts. Enough said. You have suffered through the hundred degree heat you experience making a giant I on the football field during freshman welcome weekend.
You have never tried Second Story pizza sober. (But let’s be honest, that’s probably one of the better decisions you have made in college.)
*Reread the previous line, replacing “Second Story pizza” with “Fat Sandwich.” You laugh when you see people from other schools celebrating Unofficial NOT at U of I. Hahahaha cute.
You understand deep deep deep down that the smell of KAM’s is worth the Blue Guys.
Wine night has gotten the best of you once or twice. Or maybe every Tuesday. You know that whenever someone refers to “the city,” they’re talking about Chicago. You just say “Suburbs” when someone asks you where you’re from, and when someone asks you to be more specific you just say a direction. “Oh which suburbs?” “Western.”
You pity other schools with their silly “Twenty-one Bars.” Pshhhhh. You cried a tear of joy when they announced that they were building a McDonald’s on campus.
You’ve seen neighboring fraternities get in snowball fights. Tortica’s has ruined your diet plans about seven times this year. You still take Illini Athletics very seriously. This includes intramurals. You’ve thought of one or two things you would love to do on the Morrow Plots.
EVERYWHERE.
You know that Seniorland might as well be called Wonderland during welcome weekend for those desperately seeking alcohol.
You feel old when you see those large groups with orange bags walking around campus.
You deny that the Chief is no longer the mascot. You know you go to U of I when you tell someone that you go here, you can’t help but know that you chose the best college out there. Sorry boutcha, everywhere else. You will never live up to the Orange and Blue.
6 Lookbook fashion
www.theodysseyonline.com
A ONE NIGHT STAND... WITH FASHION Oscar de la Renta. Versace.
Lilly Pulitzer. Vera Wang. Badgley Mischka. Name an upscale brand and chances
are you’ll find it on Rent the
Runway. With semi-formal season right around the
corner, who doesn’t want to
TATIANA STEVENIN Delta Zeta
Tatiana is a sophomore studying marketing and international business. You may contact her at steveni2@illinois.edu.
look like a million dollars
while wearing a dress that no one else will probably be wearing? Raved about in
magazines such as Teen Vogue, Glamour, Marie Claire and Cosmopolitan, Rent the Runway is the best one night stand (with fashion) you’ll ever have.
You’ll no longer have to worry that the cute LBD you bought from Forever 21, Tobi,
Free People or even BCBG will be on the backs of another fifteen sorority girls behind you in line. Even better, you won’t need to worry that it’ll be on the back of another
girl in your house (because as every girl knows, there’s nothing worse than wearing
the same dress as someone else and having an unintentional ‘Who Wore it Better?’ competition). By paying a mere $50 (and up to $400), Rent the Runway allows you to
wear a dress valued from $275 to $3300. So this semi-formal season why not try out something different?
With the hundreds of pictures from semi-formals that pop up on all Facebook/
Instagram newsfeeds, it seems that there are always some ‘go-to’ styles that girls choose. One can always find the new ‘high-low’ trend, chiffon dresses, sequined dresses, bandage dresses and of course, the classic LBD. Here is one example of an upgrade you can get from Rent the Runway. The first dress pictured is Herve Ledger and retails for a hefty $1450, but can be rented for a mere $150. The peach colored dress (the knockoff version of Herve Ledger ’s designer frock) is from the popular
clothing website Tobi.com and sells for $50. For those of you who think $150 is too expensive to pay for a one time rental, the remaining dress is an example of what $50 will get you on Rent the Runway: a black, one sleeved, chiffon, Lily Pulitzer dress, originally valued at $300.
Some of you are probably saying to yourself, “This is neat, but I’d like to keep the
dress if I spend $50.” Well, ask yourselves, “Am I ever going to wear the dress again?”
If you answered yes, I have the ultimate amount of respect and admiration for you. If you’re anything like me, however, you answered no, so why not just rent an even
nicer dress? I cannot count the amount of LBDs sitting in my closet right now (just
kidding; there are eight LBDs collecting dust) from past date events that have all only been worn once (because who wants to take pictures in the same dress twice?). If you really are nervous about trying out a rental, fear no more because Rent the
Runway sends you two sizes of the same dress for one price. In addition, they now allow their clients to upload pictures of themselves wearing the dress to whatever
event they rented it for; this allows customers to get a much more accurate idea of what the dress will look like on themselves.
With semi-formal season coming up in about two months, check out the website
and try renting a dress this time around. I guarantee it’ll be the best one night stand (with fashion) you’ll ever have in college.
Lookbook fashion
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7
SPRING FASHION WITH FIRA BOUTIQUE
Who would have thought that a small boutique could bring so much joy to one person?
MELISSA JOHANNENSEN Pi Beta Phi
Melissa is a junior studying communications. You may contact her at melissajohannesen@yahoo. com.
After giving up hope on the Champaign mall, I have become an avid online shopper for semi-formal dresses and the occasional necessary pieces. Being a girl whose home is not more than a 20 minute drive from the city that’s considered a shopper’s paradise, I am always on a hunt for new fun finds while away at school. After a sorority sister brought home a new dress from Fira, a boutique on campus, I felt compelled to check the place out for myself. This bright and cheery store is centrally located at 700 S. Gregory in Urbana and it is a hidden gem. While Fira does not yet have a website, the boutique keeps a popular Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/FiraBoutique/info) that is consistently updated with pictures of their new arrivals being modeled. According to the page, “Fira specializes in fashion forward, yet affordable clothing and accessories to fit every unique lady’s style. At Fira, our goal is to create a personalized shopping experience in a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere. Fira hand selects each piece to set itself apart in providing the best selection and quality.” I stopped to browse in this adorable boutique the other day and the description listed on their page doesn’t seem to do this place justice. Head into the store soon to discover your spring wardrobe. I spoke with the store owner of Fira who describes spring fashion as being all about fun and color. As I browsed the store with Anna, a few new spring trends caught my eye. Palazzo pants. Okay, when I saw these pants I nearly pulled out my wallet on the spot. For all you gals out there thinking, “What in the world are palazzo pants?” know that you are not alone. They are long women’s trousers cut with a loose, extremely wide leg that flares out from the waist. Who doesn’t love going out for the night looking adorable while wearing a pajama-comfort outfit? Fira has us covered this season because they have various colors and floral patterns of this pant. Pair it with your favorite crop top and wedged shoe and you have an easy spring look. Scalloped high-waisted shorts. I can see these becoming the new thing. I don’t care how hot you are, dropping it low at Lion and having your butt-crack peek through is never a cute look. Invest in a pair of these smart shorts to be safe rather than sorry this season. These come in bright colors and are reasonably priced. Maxi dresses. These dresses are going to be huge this spring. Once the temperature heats up, bohemian (think long and flowy) is going to be the go-to look for collegiate girls. White skinnies. What would spring be without a pair of white skinny jeans? All of those lunges and long runs would be for nothing. White skinnies are a great investment this season as you can dress them up with a hot pair of wedges or rock them with a cute and casual sandal for class. No buyers remorse for these pants. Floral frocks. Fira carries various patterns of these casual party dresses. These are perfect for Easter brunch or for Mom’s weekend brunch at the house. Spring is coming, girls. Prepare your closet today!
Photo courtesy of Facebook.com/firaboutique
8 philanthropy & service DO THE STANKY LEGGG... FOR CASH www.theodysseyonline.com
We’ve all done it. Some
of us are better than others, but either way, we all get the
job done. Yes, I’m talking
about canning. For those of you who don’t know
what canning is, it’s when a
group of sorority girls harass
TATIANA STEVENIN Delta Zeta
Tatiana is a sophomore studying marketing and international business. You may contact her at steveni2@illinois.edu.
people left and right so that
they donate money to their sorority’s philanthropy (this event can take place anywhere
on campus at anytime of the day, but the best combo is around 12 a.m.). Although the
main goal is to spread awareness about one’s philanthropy, more times than not, girls
end up doing some ridiculous things that provide them with stories for years and years to come. Therefore, I decided to interview some girls, and ask them the key question, “What would you do for a Klondike bar and your sorority’s philanthropy?”
The first girl I interviewed was Amanda Tiberi, a senior in Chi Omega. It’s not unusual
to hear girls say, “A guy said he would give us money… IF I gave him my number…”, but what is unusual to hear, is that the ‘random guy’ you gave your number to became
your friend, and is still your friend three years later; this is what happened to Tiberi.
While Tiberi was out canning, a guy asked her for her number in exchange for $20 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, so as she stated, “Of course I said yes! I would do anything to make money for our philanthropy!” Three years later, they’re still texting
and snapchatting on a daily basis! So ladies, if you want to make some friends, going canning is not such a bad idea…
Rylee Senesac, a sophomore in Delta Zeta, had a slightly more… religious story. While
canning to support the Painted Turtle Camp, a man who looked a bit lost, came up to her and two other Delta Zeta’s and gave them $10. After the man generously donated
his money, he proceeded to ask them all what their names were. Once the introductions were done, the man held all of their hands, got down on both knees, and prayed for
them. The lesson: next time you’re feeling like you could use an extra blessing or prayer for that Calculus midterm you have coming up, going canning might be the solution.
Another odd story comes from Jocelyn Wysocki, a sophomore in Chi Omega. Due to
the fact that Greek Life, sororities and fraternities are concepts that are relatively exclusive to American culture, when people from other countries see sorority girls canning, they can’t help but be intrigued. It seems that some even think that girls who are canning are
basically celebrities. While Wysocki was out canning for the Make-A-Wish Foundation,
a group of foreign exchange students said they would donate money, if (and only if), they could take a picture with her. The lesson to be learned: if you ever want to feel like a celebrity, go canning.
Last, but certainly not least, Julia Povilaitis, a sophomore in Alpha Chi Omega, takes
home the cake for one of the funniest and most awkward stories I have heard. While
canning with other sisters to raise awareness for domestic violence against women, a man approached them and started to hit on them. After begging and begging him to donate
money and spitting out facts such as ‘one woman is abused every nine seconds’, the guy agreed to give them $5, if they broke it down for him. He promptly started rapping, ‘Do Da Stanky Leg’, and in return Povilaitis and her friends started doing the stanky leg right
outside of Joe’s, while the entire bar staff and every other college kid under the influence
cheered them on and laughed. The guy told them they did a good job and gave them the $5 promised. However, it seemed that he liked their dancing a little more than they thought, and proceeded to follow them home; they ended up calling Safe Rides that night.
So, whether you’re making friends, getting blessed, becoming a celebrity, or being the
live entertainment outside of Joes, canning always provides some laughs while helping out people in need. Whether you’re good at it or not, just remember, as long as you get the job done, you’re guaranteed to end up with some good stories.
10 feature story
www.theodysseyonline.com
GRANTING MORE THAN WISHES
The University of Illinois
is home to the largest Greek
system in America -- a Greek
NATALIE NELSON Chi Omega
system that has several
unique chapters, all with
different founders, traditions and philanthropies. What
Natalie is a sophomore. You may contact her at nnelson3@illinois. edu.
many people do not realize is how personal these
philanthropies are to the chapters and Greek members individually. For the Chi Omega Sorority, their philanthropy, Make-A-Wish, has always been held close to the heart.
Recently, the chapter has found inspiration and an even closer connection to their
philanthropy through the family of one of their sisters, Erica Williams.
Williams, a junior at the University of Illinois, has a younger brother named Logan
who was diagnosed with Leukemia on Christmas Eve 2011 at the age of 12. Along with their two other brothers, parents and grandma, Williams brought all of his presents to the hospital where they spent Christmas Day. Logan started chemotherapy treatments
immediately following his diagnosis and received many blood and bone marrow tests as well as spinal taps. For the following nine months, he received more rounds of intensive chemotherapy at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago. This included dozens of overnight
stays, losing all of his hair, feeling very weak, getting mouth sores and missing the rest
of his 7th grade school year. Then, in May 2012, he had surgery where a port was put into his chest for the insertion of the IV, instead of being “poked” for a vein every time. Through the treatment, the Williams family never lost hope despite the setbacks that
delayed Logan’s progress. At only 12 years old, Logan faced a blood clot, cellulitis, low
liver enzymes, stomach issues, countless blood transfusions, allergic reactions to different
chemos and two broken front teeth. However he continued to fight as he went to physical therapy to gain back his strength and received help at home from a nurse and tutor.
Today, the family is nearing the two-year mark since Logan was diagnosed. Right now
he is in the “maintenance” phase. He his hair is back. He’s back at school full-time and is playing volleyball again.
“It is so nice to see him be a normal kid again with his funny personality that he
has always had,” Williams said. Until May of 2015, Logan will continue once-a-month treatments, when the family will hopefully be able to also declare him a cancer survivor. Leukemia is a wild, scary ride, and Logan did the best he could to keep his spirits
high during that trying time. Williams and her family could not be more proud of what
he has been able to overcome. Despite Logan’s diagnosis, there were many positives for Logan and his family like meeting Chicago Blackhawks players, receiving an iPad from
an organization called Cal’s Angels and raising $3,000 for St. Baldrick’s, an organization that raises money for childhood cancer. He has also been able to connect with other
kids at the hospital who have been through different types of illnesses and go to Cancer Camps this past summer.
The best thing to come from Leukemia, however, is Logan’s experience with the Make-
A-Wish foundation and how he had the chance to choose a wish that was granted. Logan’s wish was to go to Hawaii with his five other family members. Because of Make-A-Wish, Logan and his family will be in Oahu and Maui during a week over Thanksgiving this fall where Logan will get to swim with dolphins, take a helicopter ride over the volcanoes and island and take surfing lessons.
“Everyone through Make-A-Wish has been so welcoming towards our family. I am so
happy that Chi Omega’s philanthropy is Make-A-Wish because they truly make children excited for something after they have been through so much. It is a fantastic organization
that makes a difference for families and children going through life-threatening illnesses,” Williams said.
Logan’s diagnosis was a life-changing experience, but the Williams family grew from
it and learned to appreciate each other even more. Philanthropies are not just about pasta dinners and mud wars in Frat Park, many of them hold a greater meaning to Greek chapters on campus than most students tend to realize.
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500 words on entertainment
11
IF YOU DON’T LAND A JOB THIS SUMMER JUSTIN PANG Pi Kappa Phi
Justin is a junior studying architectural studies. You may contact him at jpang0105@gmail. com.
to create an impressive résumé or portfolio. Or maybe you got straight-up rejected by your desired place of employment. No matter the reason, if you don’t have a job for this summer, it’s important to remember that it’s not the end of the world and maybe that it might be even a positive thing that you have a free schedule.
There are always the memorable music festivals, awkward high school reunion-style basement parties, the everlasting Netflix all-nighters, the lavish family vacation to Cancun (or somewhere similar) and just relaxation. Simultaneously, without the burdensome baggage of schoolwork, most college students are also scurrying on a desperate last-minute search for a summer internship or any semblance of productivity to last the summer.
There are several things to consider when hunting for something to do when without a job. For starters, remember that it will be hot probably the entire time. How this affects one’s mood and outlook can vary due to preference. If you don’t mind extreme outdoor heat and marinating your clothes in sweat, maybe it’s time to work on the body you have always wanted. Even if you don’t enjoy the heat at all, this same outdoor exercise can be achieved in a pool. Gym memberships can be expensive as well as fitness classes but there are hundreds of alternatives to facilities like such. Along with that comes the Internet, which possesses everything you could ask for. Get creative.
Nevertheless, there isn’t a job for everyone in this economy, and there is always that chance that you could get turned down. Perhaps you didn’t put in the time
If you have the money (despite that you won’t have a job) or if your parents are willing to fund it, travel a little. It doesn’t have to be too far; even a road trip to the closest
Summer is approaching quickly, and that could mean a handful of things for you and everyone you know.
state you have never been to can prove to be informative and fun. What do you do when you get there? Check out their most populated city. Eat at their “best” restaurant. Check out a landmark within the state boundaries. The possibilities are actually endless. If you’re able to get a parent to come with, you might be able to get away with a trip that is a little more than pricey. Adopt a hobby. Developing a passion for something other than checking your last Tinder notification can really prove to be another useful way to spend time this summer. Last, but certainly not least, line up an internship or job for next year. Some companies keep most résumés on file for future potential interns, especially if you’re very qualified and recommended. In addition, it doesn’t hurt to throw your name out there, or show your persevering attitude for that matter. While you’re at that, you should do everything you can to improve your chances of landing that internship next year. This can range from seeing how to get more involved with your major department at school as well as related extracurriculars, un-tagging the kegstand photos and maybe creating a respectable LinkedIn profile online.
12 Humor lol
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BARN DANCE SEASON: THE DO’S AND DON’TS NATALIE HOKE Alpha Epsilon Phi
Natalie is a sophomore studying urban planning. You may contact her at n.hoke2012@gmail.com. Everyone’s favorite time of year, barn dance season, is upon us all. It’s finally time to bring out the straw hats, plaid and American paraphernalia and roll in the hay the [insert Greek house] way. But since we wait for barn dance all semester, it should be a special time, free from catastrophe. Here are some tips on what to do (and what not to do) to ensure that your barn dance is a success. DO: Invite someone fun. Some people prefer to have a date they’re into, some prefer to bring a friend and some people like to be set up with a date. Whichever option you decide upon, make sure it’s someone who you’ll actually have a good time with. You should also be sure to take someone who you won’t be ashamed to be with when you’re showering in hay.
DON’T: Leave with someone who’s not your date. So maybe your friend brought someone who you have always sort of been into or maybe someone else made eyes at you on the hayride. No matter the situation, try to avoid bringing home someone else’s date at all costs—it’s really not classy, and it’s rude to ditch your own date for someone else.
DO: Dance. After all, it is a barn dance. Go ahead and make a fool of yourself to “Wagon Wheel,” because when else will you get the opportunity to get down to country music? Aside from Tuesday night at KAMS, of course. DON’T: Get lost in the woods by yourself. No matter what happens, it’s never a good idea to wander in the woods by yourself. You will end up crying, losing your John Deere hat and scraping your knee on a tree stump that made you trip. Not to mention you’ll miss about half of the event that you’ve been looking forward to all semester. Just don’t do it. DO: Follow the theme. It might be a bit different than your typical attire, but it’s a great excuse to wear American-flag clothing that you might feel a bit ridiculous sporting otherwise. Gather up those boots, your Duck Dynasty bandana, and
those overalls because, one day, college will be over. Will you ever party in a barn again? Who knows? DON’T: Overdo it. This seems pretty obvious, but some people just can’t hang. Make sure that you and your date take precautions in ensuring that your barn dance is free from accidents at all costs. Know your limits and be sure to follow them. Even if you don’t remember harassing Loretta’s peacocks, you’ll be much happier than if you’re yacking away in a corner all night.
DO: Be nice to Loretta. Yes, your house did pay her a boatload for the venue, but she was not required to make homemade Chex Mix and be an all-around sweetheart. Instead of stealing a handful and running away, go ahead and give her a hug because she deserves it. DON’T: Be cheap. Barn dance is a special occasion, and it deserves to be treated like one. While it does involve country attire and a barn, you should still treat your date with class and splurge on that Fireball or Jameson instead of the usual Burnett’s. They will appreciate it, and it goes accordingly with the theme.
Humor lol
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THE ARC: WHY IT’S ACTUALLY JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL SUZANNAH SPARKS Alpha Xi Delta
Suzannah is a sophomore studying political science. You may contact her at ssparks3@illinois.edu.
to see. Once you finally get your card swiped, the real
never take one next to a person, and if you have Nikes
fun begins.
they should be an obnoxiously bright neon color.
There’s separate areas for each clique: on the first floor
While you can learn the social cues and manage your
we have your typical mix of “average” people – those who
way to fit into the ARC just fine, you will often realize that
just want to get on with their workout, just like getting
this campus is smaller than you think because you will
through high school. Off to the right we see the nerds–
always, without fail, run into an ex. Both of you obviously
typically playing badminton with all their friends on the
love getting your fitness on, but are too stubborn to
The ARC: a mecha of workout machines, weight
birdie courts. Don’t worry, they wont be hard to miss
transfer to CRCE. It’ll be seeing them running around the
lifting and sweat. Lulu-lemon clad SDT’s, and Taus with
because the attire since high school has yet to change.
upstairs track, coming out of the locker rooms or seeing
muscle bearing shirts are all inexplicably drawn to our
They’re the people that wore jeans to gym class. If you
you on a machine while you’re looking particularly more
campuses favorite stale smelling building. While meant
take a dip very far downstairs, you’ll have the privilege
ratchet than usual. Because you will always get frazzled,
to be a sanctuary of sweat and caloric activities, I see it
of being graced by every ex-highschool football player,
you will spastically amp up your speed on the elliptical
more as reliving high school all over again( which let’s
jackroided-Greek and misinformed female on campus.
and go full force like a gazelle on steroids – do try and
all admit, was a disaster compared to college). Within
Prepare to be silently judged as your peers eyes give away
avoid this because it makes you look terribly awkward.
the ARC are cliques, judgment and tears. Brace yourself,
what they all want to scream, “do you even lift bro?”
pain is coming.
The ARC is a torture zone – a concrete block of sweat
The extent of the ARC’S similarities to high school don’t
and crushed dreams that haunts our thoughts as we dig
When you walk in for your workout, you will inevitably
end there - beyond the cliques and lack of proper hygiene
in to Chopstix and Papa D’s. Just like high school, failure
be greeted in the main entrance (or hall) by friends, people
there are unspoken social codes that everyone conforms
to attend will have serious consequences, such as rolls on
in your house and every other person you never wanted
too, such as if there’s a line of open machines you should
rolls on rolls and serious FOMO.
14 Humor lol @VinceDavis_: If at first you don’t succeed, drink until you don’t remember failing, then give it another shot @Oh_Emma: Gee People who rake leaves and put them in jack o’ lantern garbage bags restore my faith in society @totalsororitymove: Making a quilt out of all your shack shirts. #TSM @ughsassy: plot twist: a cat dresses like a slut for halloween @ItsJennaMarbles: My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on. @lorna_doone5: the only time my mom calls me is to ask for my netflix password @LeonardoDa_Rivi: I’m pretty sure there is a direct correlation to how expensive of a car you drive and
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how much of an a**hole driver you are @itsBroStinson: The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest @TFLN: (419) you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule @girlposts: i would eat healthy but remember that 1 time adam&eve ate an apple in the garden of eden & doomed all of humanity so idk better not risk it @totalfratmove: Celebrating the extra hour of drinking with two extra hours of drinking. #TFM @Chloe_ARhodes: It’s noon and I’m crawling out of my bed only to go to the couch @markhoppus: If I ever die, bury me with my arms defiantly crossed on my chest like the sassy b**** I am.
@MensHumor: Sometimes there is just not enough face for this palm. @mlunsford94: And I now know that I’m way too competitive of person to do case races #learningthingsthehardway @lprobasco: I wonder if the bars stay open an extra hour when the clocks change :/ @DaangSara: They need to make an app that turns your phone off when your drunk @amantohungnkiss4: When kool-aid starts to taste like jungle juice.... #college @iliketospooner: Class would be so much better if they served burgers @lauren_durocher: Actually on a bus struggling #icant
Humor lol
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15
SIMMER DOWN FOR PHILANTHROPY SPORTS JEREMY KRITT Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Jeremy is a freshman studying journalism. You may contact him at jeremyrkritt@gmail.com.. There is no scout at the sorority philanthropy football game, so no need to be going all out. Don’t be that obnoxious guy ruing the good time for everyone by being too competitive Sorority philanthropy events are awesome for obvious reasons. They’re fun and they raise money – everybody wins. Sorority philanthropy events are also awesome for a completely different reason. Think about it. Philanthropy events put all the frat dudes on campus in one place, on center stage in front of a bunch of beautiful sorority women and then fuel their testosterone with competition. What could possibly go wrong? A funny thing happens to men when they enter college. Their second string role on their mediocre high school team suddenly becomes the starring role on one of the best teams in the area.
After an entire year of boasting about inflated high school accomplishments, sorority philanthropy events are where those exaggerations are threatened. So what must one do? Well, some guys answer this question by trying way too hard. There’s always that one guy at every sorority philanthropy event. First of all, there is almost a 100 percent chance this guy has no clue what the philanthropy event is even supporting. In Theta Hoops, he’s the guy who takes a charge on the concrete and then gets up yelling in his opponent’s face. In KD’s dodge ball, he guns for the faces of the other team. In DG football, he intercepts a pass and intentionally runs someone over and spikes the ball in his face – instead of scoring a touchdown. It is almost as if PanHellenic Council made a rule that events cannot go on without at least one jerk.
It would be shortsighted, however, to limit the mocking of overzealousness to merely the players.At every philanthropy event there is always that one guy who loves sports, but knows he is a bad athlete and has no qualms with becoming the team’s coach. In the spirit of philanthropy, the brothers let him feel like a part of the team but, inevitably, he takes this honor way too seriously. He carries a clipboard, gets caught up in the action and yell things to the players at the top of his lungs that he’s heard on ESPN. The only thing an innocent bystander can do
is hope that the coach doesn’t realize that none of the players are actually listening to him.
One of the best parts of philanthropy events is when the team that is trying way too hard goes against the team that is obnoxiously intoxicated. Team Drunk begins their irritation of Team Try Hard by showing up from the bar 10 minutes after game time, but it won’t stop there. Team Drunk blatantly cheats while members of Team Try Hard spit and sweat all over the women running the event as they scream about Team Drunk disrespecting the sacred rules of competition. The game will most likely end in a blowout of Team Drunk, but not before they have more than a few good laughs and almost put three of Team Try Hard’s players into cardiac arrest. In high school, there was always one guy who tried way too hard. He not only ruined gym class, but also ruined class for every person sitting near his ferociously sweating, foul-smelling body in the next period. That’s the equivalent to men who take philanthropy events too seriously. Like gym class, sorority’s philanthropy events are supposed to be fun and spirited, but the over-competitiveness of a select few ruins it for everyone. Don’t be that guy. No one likes Team Try Hard.