Henri Michaux's "Plume at the Restaurtant" - illustrations by Carol Collier

Plume at the Restaurant From a story by Henri Michaux Illustrated by Carol Collier

Plume was having lunch at the restaurant...

...when the waiter came over, gave him a sharp look, and said in a low, menacing voice...

1

What you have on your plate is NOT on the menu!

Plume apologized immediately.

I’m terribly sorry!

I was in such a hurry, I didn’t bother reading the menu.

I ordered a chop – just on impulse – thinking that perhaps you had one, or if you didn’t that you could easily find one nearby, but I was ready to order something quite different if there were no chops around...

No one seemed particuarly surprised when I ordered it.

2

I’ll be glad to pay the price for it, whatever it may be.

It’s a nice cut of meat, I won’t deny it. I’ll pay the price without hesitation.

If I had known, I would have chosen another kind of meat or simply an egg – and anyway I’m not very hungry anymore.

I’ll pay you right away.

But the waiter does not move.

Plume is terribly embarrassed.

After a while he looks up...

Now the manager is standing in front of him!

3

Plume apologizes immediately.

I did not realize that chops weren’t on the menu.

I didn’t look at it, because I have extremely bad eyesight, and I didn’t have my pince-nez on me and besides, reading always gives me a terrible headache.

I asked for the first thing that came into my mind, and more to elicit suggestions than out of personal taste.

The waiter, who no doubt had other things on his mind, didn’t think twice about it, he brought me this, and as for me, I’m quite absentminded, and I began to eat, so…

I’ll pay you personally as long as you’re here.

But the manager does not move.

Plume is terribly embarrassed.

As he is holding out a bill to him, he suddenly sees the sleeve of a uniform. It’s a policeman standing in front of him.

4

He had come in just to rest a bit.

Suddenly the angry waiter had shouted at him point-blank...

Plume apologizes immediately.

And for Monsieur?

You would like...??

Um, a glass of beer.

And then what!?

OK, a chop!

It was more to get rid of the waiter than for any other reason!

He was no longer thinking of the chop by the time it was brought in on a plate, then, well, there it was, right in front of him ...

5

he holds out a hundred-franc bill.

As he hears receeding footsteps, he starts to relax …

Listen, If you would try to settle this business, it would be very nice of you. Here’s something for you ...

… But now it’s the police inspector standing there.

6

Plume apologizes immediately.

He had an appointment with a friend. He had waited for him all morning.

So, since he knew that his friend walked by this street on his way home from the office... ... he had come in here, had taken a table near the window and moreover, since there might be a long wait and he didn’t want to look as if he were reluctant to spend money, he had ordered a chop, just to have something in front of him.

Not for a moment did he think of eating it.

But since he had it in front of him, mechanically, without having the slightest idea of what he was doing, he had begun to eat.

7

They should realize he wouldn’t go to a restaurant for anything on earth!

He always has lunch at home. It’s one of his principles!

This was a case of pure absentmindedness, the kind of thing that can happen to anyone when he’s upset, a moment of thoughtlessness, nothing more!

... But the inspector has phoned the head of the criminal division.

Come on, explain yourself.

This is your only chance.

Talk!

8

If you don’t come clean, It’s going to get rough, I’m warning you. You’d better confess everything, the whole truth.

We know how to handle your type. This is no game.

As firemen are pouring into the restaurant…

Look at the loss I’m going to take!

It’s a disaster!

From now on, you better watch your step, mister. got it?

Listen, I can’t do anything about it, I’ve got my orders. If you don’t talk into that phone, I start hitting.

Confess! I’m warning you – If I don’t hear you, I start hitting.

CONFESS! 9