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The men behind great women The number of female breadwinners has increased sixfold in the past 40 years. Myriam O’Carroll, a media consultant specialising in women’s issues, speaks to one and the stay-at-home partner of another to gain insights on the dynamics of such relationships and how they work
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emale breadwinners are children instead of a mum has no considered to be women who effect on them. ‘Kids are happy out-earn their partners, usually as long as the one being home bringing more than 50% of the is happy too,’ she claims. She household revenue. It does not urges that young women should account for single women and realise that ‘they may well partner single mothers who, by definition, with someone earning less’, as are also the main providers in more females graduate from the household. The number of universities each year. Women are female breadwinners in the UK also becoming the number one has dramatically increased – from customers, controlling the main Mercedes Erra & Jean-Paul Valz being only 4% in 1970 to reaching ‘voting’ purchasing decisions in a an amazing figure of 24% today. household. As a result, Suzanne Suzanne Doyle-Morris is a proud female finds that smart companies start looking at designing breadwinner, happy to be the main provider of the products that are good for women … not just pink! family income, while her husband is the carer of When asked what the secrets of modern their two children. She praises him of being ‘her best relationships are, Suzanne says it is crucial for women mentor’, ‘extremely supportive of her work’ and easing to acknowledge that men earning less still contribute things at home. An expert in coaching women in malefinancially by enabling them to increase their earning dominated fields and author of Female Breadwinners: power and therefore save elsewhere. Her book is How They Make Relationships Work and Why They designed as a guide to help these couples to get the Are the Future of the Modern Workforce, Suzanne has best out of their relationships. shared her insights. Meet Jean-Paul Valz, married to Mercedes Erra, Suzanne finds that many couples are unprepared Founder of BETC and Executive President of Havas to deal with the situation when they face it. For both Worldwide. He is a stay-at-home dad of five and men and women, it is usually never a choice, and active campaigner for women’s rights. Jean Paul and society still views it as an uncomfortable situation to Mercedes met over 20 years ago, when he was working be in. Suzanne meets couples in denial over the wife for Saatchi & Saatchi advertising agency, as head of the ‘wearing the pants’, which can create some resentment, International Research Department. She was his boss, and most men actually claim they work too – whether earning big money. ‘I loved my job and had a good they are an artist, consultant or managing their local salary,’ he says, but with five children at home to raise golf club. between the two of them, he decided one day to take To dispel the myth, Suzanne’s message is that this the ‘obvious decision’ to become a stay-at-home dad. situation can work well for some couples. She sees it Jean-Paul knows it is a luxury that he can stay at home as an opportunity to take a very pragmatic look at the and do what he loves: ‘I am lucky we can afford it.’ situation and make a deliberate choice – based on But however much he enjoys being with his personal skills, strengths and ambition – to decide who children Jean-Paul stresses that ‘you need to have an will stay at home with the children. Surprisingly, most intellectual life too’. He spends a lot of time actively women she interviewed recognised that their husbands campaigning on women’s rights internationally. He were better than them at home… including herself. is pro quotas and gets angry that such little progress Probably contrary to women in the reverse situation, is being made in gender equality. The secrets of his stay-at-home-men still do fewer household tasks, but relationship? Complicity, communication, a reciprocal there is a rise in male stress over work/life balance. admiration and children who, for him, definitely Suzanne reckons that having a dad raising the cement the whole family. I 52 - info - may / june