My Secret Bully - Pre-Materials Kindergarten-1st Grade

presents

My Secret Bully

Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program

Pre-Materials and Worksheets Kindergarten & Grade 1 2021-2022 School Year

Table of Contents

Colorado Conservatory of Dance 3001 Industrial Lane, #12 Broomfield, CO 80020 303.466.5685 ccdance.org

A Note to Teachers

Page 3

How to Use These Materials

Page 3

Step 1: Learning the Story

Page 4

Step 2: Bullying Basics

Page 6

Step 3: Tools for Targets

Page 7

Step 4: Friends Help Friends

Page 9

Resources for Teachers

Page 10

Suggested Reading for the Classroom

Page 10

CCD is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

Our EIN is 46-2961115 About CCD: Inside the doors of this long standing, flagship cultural organization is a deeply caring and nurturing community of exceptional and knowledgeable dance teachers, learned body scientists and therapists, and a diverse collection of students—all committed to a process of learning and teaching ballet that is healthy for both the body and the mind.

Colorado Conservatory of Dance Leslie Castañuela Barnes Executive Director Julia Wilkinson Manley Artistic Director Chris Harris Community Education & Project Manager Kerry Healy Administrator and Social Media Jennifer Howard Director of Summer Programs Rachel Long Communications Coordinator Nicole Kramer Venue & Production Manager Julia Meng Controller & Rehearsal Director Marnie Rundiks Conservatory Docent Shizuka Sakai Costume Supervisor Sean Watson Conservatory Manager

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This workbook was created in collaboration with YouthSeen, a Colorado non-profit organization that envisions a society where young people are empowered as individuals to access non-judgmental and unbiased treatment in every aspect of their lives. YouthSeen encourages creative communities that celebrate everyone’s worth, diverse characteristics and dignity.

Colorado Conservatory of Dance (CCD) has partnered with YouthSeen to provide professional social and emotional wellness services to support the developmental framework of CCD’s respected “Anti-Bullying Ballet” for youth. In collaboration, our objective is to provide an outlet that will support and advocate for critical needs that COVID continues to fuel in our age-appropriate production.

CCD and YouthSeen will advance our production with deeper social and emotional wellness messaging and pre/ post-performance discussion curricula and resources that may resonate most beneficially for our youth audiences. In addition, students will be provided with an added layer of wellness referral services provided by YouthSeen.

Tara Jae, PhD, MFA Founder & Executive Director YouthSeen tara@youthseen.org

My Secret Bully Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program

A Note to Teachers Dear Teachers: These pre-materials are designed to help you plan lessons in preparation for the live, streamed or recorded school presentation of My Secret Bully performed by Colorado Conservatory of Dance. The information in this packet emphasizes that children have the power to make an impact on the climate of their schools. Instead of having students make up the “silent majority,” the 85% of children who simply watch bullying and do nothing about it, the exercises in this book emphasize formation of a “caring majority,” a group of upstanders who stick up for one another when they are in need. Out of this main focus come both the vocabulary and strategies associated with anti-bullying curricula, and the tools to change your school into a caring community.

Each exercise found in this workbook helps students lay a foundation for building their own positive social skills that in turn helps them interact with other children in a caring and compassionate way. These lessons are meant to be a springboard for you to customize your own lessons based on the needs of your classroom and your students.

You will also receive a packet of post-materials following performances of My Secret Bully, Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program to help students review and solidify concepts and techniques as well as summarize what they have learned during the year.

Additional comments from you, as well as from your students, are always welcome. Your feedback helps us assess our programs and develop new ideas and ways to benefit our community through the arts.

Thank you, Colorado Conservatory of Dance

How to Use These Materials This workbook has been broken down into four (4) easy steps to help you easily create lessons to continually build on a student's previous knowledge of anti-bullying. Each step is separated into a whole section of information and activity ideas for you to incorporate into your classroom.

Step 1: Learning the Story (Page 4) Students learn the story of My Secret Bully to prepare for what they will see performed by the dancers.

Step 2: Bullying Basics (Page 6) Concepts in this section involve recognizing what actions are considered to be bullying behaviors, and identifying the main players in a bullying situation. Students will also learn to work together as a team to establish a “no bullying” policy in the classroom, and create classroom rules to support this.

Step 3: Tools for Targets (Page 7) This section is filled with techniques for students to use when they find themselves as the target of a bullying situation.

Step 4: Friends Help Friends (Page 9) Students learn ways to help others who are in need and learn the 5 basic strategies that make up the CARES technique.

We encourage you to use as many “active” lessons as possible, integrating movement or role-play wherever possible in order to engage students effectively. The length of time spent on each activity is also up to you and the needs of your students. We recommend spending approximately 15 minutes working on anti-bullying concepts each week throughout the school year to find a full benefit from this program.

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Colorado Conservatory of Dance

Step 1: Learning the Story Synopsis of the Ballet My Secret Bully

Students learn the basic story of My Secret Bully to prepare for what they will see in the theater or on film.

My Secret Bully is a book written by Trudy Ludwig. With Trudy Ludwig’s permission and guidance, CCD has also used the sequel to this book, Confessions of a Former Bully, to present a full lesson on anti-bullying strategies. Here is the synopsis of CCD’s story: Katie and Monica have known each other since kindergarten. They have spent a lot of time together because they like doing the same kinds of things. Monica likes being around Katie…when she’s nice to her. But there are times when she can be just plain mean.

It all started a few months ago, during school recess, when Monica noticed Katie whispering to a group of girls while looking at her. When Monica went up to them to ask what they were talking about, some of the other girls giggled like it really was something, which made Monica feel bad. Later, when Monica was playing with Sarah, Katie grabbed Sarah and pulled her away. “If you play with her,” Katie whispered in Monica’s ear, “I won’t come over to your house tomorrow.” Confused and conflicted, Monica continued to play with Sarah thinking Monica was just having a bad day.

Everything seemed to get worse, though. It got to the point where no one would play with Monica at recess.

She wondered if there was something wrong with her. She felt like no one liked her, and she wondered if they all made fun of her behind her back. Finally, she confided in her mom and told her how hard it is to be friends with Katie. Monica’s mom used role-playing to help Monica know what to say. Mom acted like she was Katie, and Monica got to practice out loud what she wanted to say, without sounding like a bully herself.

The next day, Monica was ready. The moment Katie saw her, she began whispering to her circle of friends.

Monica stared at her straight in the eyes and said, “Katie, does it make you feel good to make me feel bad?

Because friends don’t do that to friends.” Monica knew that Katie could no longer hurt her.

The next day Katie was sent to the Principal’s office. Also invited were Katie’s parents who were very disappointed to know that Katie had been bullying Monica. The Principal declared that Katie had chosen to wear the “bullying hat.” He asked her to think about how her behavior made Monica feel. The Principal said there would be consequences for choosing to wear the “bullying hat,” and Katie would need to begin thinking about what she did wrong and to write down ways to handle herself differently. In addition, Katie was required to meet with the school counselor once per week to learn more about “bullying behaviors” and how to be a better friend. Finally, Katie was required to reflect on how she might make up for the hurt she had caused when bullying other kids.

The school counselor taught Katie a lot and had her keep a journal about everything she was learning. The first thing she learned was what bullying behavior looked like: Bullying can be physical - when someone hurts your body on purpose; Bullying can be verbal - name calling; taunting; threatening to cause harm; l Bullying can be social - laughing at someone, ignoring them, making faces, or excluding someone

from a game, outting, or the lunch table; l Bullying can be controlling - telling friends what they can and can’t do; and, l Bullying can be cyber - using the internet, cell phones, cameras, and text messaging to hurt others. l l

Bullying happens whenever someone hurts your body, your feelings, your reputation, or your friendships ON PURPOSE. Next, the school counselor taught Katie about her “Totally Awesome Empower Tools!” These were tools that a Target could use when someone says something mean on purpose. Here are some examples: l l l l l

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“Stop!”

“Why? Why? Why?” Walk Away “So,” “Whatever,” “Who cares?”

Agree

My Secret Bully Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program

After learning so much about what bullying looks and feels like, Katie spent a lot of time reflecting on her behaviors and what she wished she could’ve done differently. She would’ve helped all her friends to be kind to each other, rather than telling them who to be friends with. She wouldn’t have laughed at Monica when she fell at recess, and instead she would have helped her up and made sure she was okay. She would not have used her cell phone to pass around embarrassing photos of Monica. Finally, she wouldn’t make fun of Monica and get her entire circle of friends to laugh along. She wished she could go back in time and do everything differently.

Katie decided to write a letter to Monica to let her know how very sorry she was. Monica read the letter, and while it made her feel good to know that Katie was sorry, she decided that she no longer needed to be friends with Katie.

Monica said ‘thank you,’ and went off to the library to check out a new book to read over the weekend.

Monica had learned that she didn’t need to be friends with someone just because they apologized. Katie had also learned that it is important to apologize - it makes both the Target and the person who chose to wear the “bullying hat” feel better - but it’s important to let the Target decide if a continued friendship is right for them or not.

Read a Story

Read My Secret Bully, written by Trudy Ludwig to your students, or have them read it silently. As a picture book with simple, easy to read words, have your students pay special attention to the way the character choosing to use bullying behaviors interacts with friends and peers. Ask your students, “Has anyone ever not been very nice to you? How did it make you feel? Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in? What did you do?”

Movement Activity

“Stand Up if You…” is a very fun exercise for developing awareness of each person’s individuality. It starts out with the teacher leading the activity by saying “We are going to play a game together, and I want you to think really hard about what makes you special and different from other people. Have you ever seen two people who look exactly alike?” If students say yes to this, then ask them “Were their haircuts exactly the same? Do they have the same likes and dislikes?”

Now lead students into an activity that shows we all have similarities and differences that make us unique.

Have students follow your directions very carefully: Stand up if you….Have brown hair Sit down if you….Have two eyes Stand up if you….Have a brother Try a different action every time such as ‘Rub your belly if you…,’ ‘Turn in a circle if you…,’ ‘Jump in the air if you…’ After students get used to the game, start to tie in aspects of bullying. Say things like “Wiggle your body if you like to share with others” or “Go line up if you like to include everyone.”

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Colorado Conservatory of Dance

Step 2: Bullying Basics What is Bullying?

Bullying is when one person uses their power deliberately to hurt another individual repeatedly. Bullying methods can range greatly in their severity and intentions.

Physical Aggression – pushing, shoving, stealing, or inflicting bodily harm.

Verbal Aggression – mocking, taunting, name-calling, dirty looks or gestures, or teasing about possessions or appearance.

Social Alienation – gossiping, embarrassing, spreading rumors, or excluding someone from the group.

Intimidation – defacing property or clothing, threatening to embarrass or reveal personal information, or threatening with a weapon.

Extension Activity: Have students make a drawing of a bullying situation with crayons, colored pencils, or markers. They could draw a picture from personal experience, or make a picture of what they think bullying might look like. Remind students to show the many different types of bullying including verbal - namecalling, physical - pushing or shoving, and social alienation - leaving someone out of an activity.

Key Roles in Bullying

There are three main participants in bullying situations. These participants, whether they react or are passive, all contribute to the outcomes of bullying. These participants include: The Bully or Bullies - a person or group of people who repeatedly use their power and influence over others to hurt another individual. A “bully” can learn to choose different behaviors.

The Target - typically a person who is passive, insecure, or unable to defend themselves. These people are easily singled out because they won’t fight back.

The Bystanders - the majority of people (approximately 80%) who watch bullying happen and stand silently watching, not knowing what to do. This group of people is also called the “silent majority.”

Upstanders vs. Bystanders

By teaching students in our schools that bullying is not allowed, and that they have the power to stand up for themselves and for others, we are able to create a fourth participant in a bullying situation.

Students learn to stop being the silent majority (observing bullying and doing nothing), and move to being upstanders (preventing or stopping bullying from happening.)

Talk it Over

Begin a discussion with students about behavior that doesn’t keep friendships. Have them come up with examples of a time that a friend was not so nice to them. Students should only use names if they have something nice to share. Use this topic as a starting Have students brainstorm as a class about what they think bullying might be. Write down their ideas and add in ones they may have missed such as teasing someone or purposely leaving someone out of a game at recess.

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My Secret Bully Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program

Movement Activity

A valuable part of understanding the effects of bullying is understanding our emotions. Introduce to students the concept of feelings, and ask them: Has there ever been a time when you felt really scared, sad, or lonely? What made you feel this way? Share a time that you may have been sad or scared. Ask the students: Is it ok to be upset, sad, angry, or scared? Help students understand that all emotions are valid and important; it’s how we handle these emotions that makes all the difference.

Now tell students that you are going to play a game and have them guess your feelings. Act out an expression of being happy, sad, angry, or scared and use your face, shoulders, body language, and gestures to reflect these emotions. When students guess the emotion, ask them: What clues did you use to tell how I was feeling? How did my facial expressions change with each emotion?

Now have students take a turn acting out the emotions. Give them a prompt for each emotion such as “Your best friend is moving away,” or “Your parents just brought home a new puppy.” Instruct students to exaggerate each expression using their entire body including their face, head, shoulders, and even their walk. Come up with a variety of emotions and have children try each one.

Extension Activity: Have students make a drawing of a bullying situation with crayons, colored pencils, or markers. They could draw a picture from personal experience, or make a picture of what they think bullying might look like. Remind students to show the many different types of bullying including verbal - namecalling, physical - pushing or shoving, and social alienation - leaving someone out of an activity.

Step 3: Tools for Targets Techniques for Students to Use Against Bullying

Talk to students about tools they can use when other students are not being friendly. First, ask students to talk about a time that they were left out of an activity, or a time that someone used words that were not very kind. Ask students: How did it make you feel? How did you respond to the other person? What could you have done differently to change the situation?

Begin teaching students some of the tools they can use in a situation when kids are not being so nice. Teach students to start with talking to the other child and then working through each of the steps unless they feel scared or afraid. For example, if they are getting pushed off the slide or if other children are threatening them, then the students should go directly to an adult for help.

Talk - Use statements such as “I don’t like it when you…” or “Please stop doing that, it hurts my feelings” to tell the other child to stop.

Walk - If the other child does not stop, then walk away from them and leave the situation.

Help - If the other child still doesn’t stop after walking away, then go to an adult and say “I need help.”

Extension Activity: Create a poster for displaying the protective strategies of Talk, Walk, and Help. Have students show examples of each situation by drawing pictures by each word to demonstrate the steps.

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Colorado Conservatory of Dance

Puppet Role-Play

Role-plays are very important opportunities for children to practice the skills that they are learning in the classroom. After identifying the 3 steps (Talk, Walk, Help) to getting help, use puppets to demonstrate how children can respond while in a bullying situation. Have a target puppet, a bully puppet, and a “teacher” or “friend” puppet. With an adult acting out the puppets, try each situation several times with students giving ideas of what the target puppet could do or say to solve the situation.

Situation #1: Some kids from John’s class are playing tag at recess. John asks if he can join in, but one of the kids tells him he can’t play. John is very sad that he is not included. What should John do? Guide students through each step of Talk, Walk, and Help. Some examples of ways that John could talk to the students would be to say, “It hurts my feelings when you don’t let me play too,” or “I am a really fast runner, I’ll show you if you let me play.”

Situation #2: It is craft time in Ben’s class, and he is going over to the station where the markers are kept.

He reaches for a blue marker but another student in the class takes it from him. This same student is always taking things that he wants to use or play with, and it is frustrating to Ben. What should he do?

Encourage students to think about some qualities of friendship Ben could use such as sharing, trading, or taking turns with the markers. Ben could say “I have an idea, why don’t we take turns using the marker.

Then we can both use it!”

Read a Story

Find a story that illustrates some of the concepts of bullying and read the story to your students. Use the resources guide on page 8 of this workbook for book ideas. While reading the book, ask students to identify some of the concepts you have discussed with them. Have them identify characteristics of friendship, the techniques for getting help from a bully – Talk, Walk, and Help, and identifying key roles in bullying – Target, Bully, and Bystanders (both the Silent Majority and the Caring Majority.)

Creating Classroom Kindness Rules

After introducing the main concepts of bullying, tell students that they will be creating a safe environment in their classroom that is bully-free. Have students brainstorm rules that they would like to have in their classroom in order to make it a safe place to learn. Think about qualities of friendship they want to have in the classroom such as sharing, or being kind to one another. Start students off with the following rules, and encourage them to add on.

• We will not bully other students • We will help others who are being bullied by speaking out and by getting adult help • We will use extra effort to include all students in activities at our school Extension Activity: Have students draw and color posters for each classroom rule, and create a special “no bullying” display. Post the rules to remind students that bullying is no longer allowed in the classroom.

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My Secret Bully Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program

Step 4: Friends Help Friends Ways to Get Help for Friends in Need

Explain to students that part of friendship is helping out those in need, whether they are your friends or not. The word “friend” should be used interchangeably with “other children,” and students are expected to help their peers and classmates when they are in trouble. If a student sees another child who is upset, mad, or worried, they can lend a helping hand. Follow these tips to helping out another student who is being bullied or left out.

See - Notice that another child is feeling sad, lonely, worried, or scared. Note the cues that you can see in their face, body, and voice.

Talk - Ask the other child “Are you OK?” Depending on what is upsetting them, you can offer to include them in your group, to share a toy, to give them a hug, or to help them pick up spilled items. No matter what, just offering to be a friend will help out the situation.

Help - If talking to the other child did not help solve the problem, find an adult for help.

Extension Activity: Create a poster for displaying the protective strategies of See, Talk, Help. Have students show examples of each situation by drawing pictures by each word to demonstrate the steps.

Puppet Role-Play

After identifying the 3 basic steps for helping others (See, Talk, Help,) use puppets to practice them. Have a target, a bully, a bystander, and “adult” or “friend” puppets. First, use puppets to show the situation if the bystanders doing nothing. Ask students What was unfair about that situation? Did anyone help out the target? Whose side were the bystanders on? Point out to students that since the bystanders did nothing, they were on the bully’s side.

Now try again, but have students suggest ideas using the See, Talk, Help strategies. Show students how standing up for others gives power to the target and takes it away from the bully. You can even ask the bully puppet which side it would rather be on to show how power can shift so that everyone wins in the end!

Situation #1: You and your friends are standing outside waiting for school to start when you notice that Lucy is standing by herself in her bright yellow galoshes. A group of 5th graders begin teasing Lucy because of her galoshes and Lucy becomes scared and embarrassed. What should you do? Guide students through how they can first observe Lucy’s emotions and see that she is scared, then go over and join her or talk to her. They can say something like “Are you ok, Lucy? Why don’t you come join us over here?” This can be a good scenario to demonstrate needing to get adult help. If the 5th graders do not leave Lucy alone after her peers join her, it is a good time for someone to find adult help.

Situation #2: At snack time you are sitting with a group of friends and you notice that the new boy in school, Jeremy, is looking for a place to sit. He comes over to your group and asks if he can sit with you.

One of your friends, Danny, tells him “No, you’re not allowed to sit here.” You feel very sorry for Jeremy and want to do something about it. What can you do? Help students realize that even if the “bully” is their friend, they can still stand up for the target while helping their friend understand that it’s ok to accept others. Students can say things like “Jeremy, why don’t you come sit by me, there’s plenty of room over here,” or “Jeremy, I’d love to hear about your old school. Come sit over here and tell us all about it!”

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Colorado Conservatory of Dance

Movement Activity

“Mirroring” is a great exercise to get students working as a team. This activity shows how easily power can shift from one person to another. First, pair up all of the students and have them spread out in the classroom. Have each couple pick person A and person B, and have them face each other as if there is a mirror in between. Person A will start out as the leader making very slow, smooth movements while person B is the mirror and follows person A’s movements. You may want to demonstrate this exercise first with a volunteer to show how movements need to be slow and smooth for the other person to follow.

Turn on some gentle background music for atmosphere and have students practice moving arms and legs while staying in the same place. After students have practiced for a while, have them switch leaders. Try this for a couple of turns and then have students start switching leaders on and off by themselves. Encourage students to make transitions between leaders seamless so that no one knows who is leading and who is following.

Discuss with students how it felt after completing the activity. What was it like? Was it harder to be the leader or the follower? How well did you work with the other person? Was it hard or easy to tell who was leading and who was following?

Resources for Teachers All content for this workbook is developed in collaboration with YouthSeen. For additional information on postperformance wellness resources, please visit: https://youthseen.org/about-us/.

Websites

https://casel.org https://www.ihollaback.org/bystander-resources/ https://www.stopbullyingnow.com/ https://www.learningforjustice.org/ https://www.thebullyproject.com/tools_students

Suggested Reading for the Classroom

The Invisible Boy

By Trudy Ludwig, Patrice Barton (Illustrator) Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers (2013) A gentle story that teaches how small acts of kindness can help children feel included and allow them to flourish, from esteemed author and speaker Trudy Ludwig and acclaimed illustrator Patrice Barton.

Quiet Please, Owen McPhee!

By Trudy Ludwig, Patrice Barton (Illustrator) Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers (2018) Owen McPhee doesn’t just like to talk, he LOVES to talk. He spends every waking minute chattering away at his teachers, his classmates, his parents, his dog, and even himself. But all that talking can get in the way of listening. And when Owen wakes up with a bad case of laryngitis, it gives him a muchneeded opportunity to hear what others have to say.

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My Secret Bully Anti-Bullying: Holistic Wellness Program

The Power of One

By Trudy Ludwig, Mike Curato (Illustrator) Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers (2020) When one child reaches out in friendship to a classmate who seems lonely, she begins a chain reaction of kindness that ripples throughout her school and her community. One kind act begets another, small good deeds make way for bigger ones, and eventually the whole neighborhood comes together to build something much greater than the sum of its parts.

Say Sorry And Mean It: Apologizing From The Heart

By Trudy Ludwig, Maurie J. Manning (Illustrator) Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers (2006) Jack’s friend, Charlie, knows how to get away with just about everything: “If you get caught, just say you’re sorry.” But does an apology count if you don’t really mean it? And what happens when the person you’ve hurt knows you don’t mean it? Jack’s about to find out there’s a whole lot more to a real apology than a simple “sorry!”

My Secret Bully

by Trudy Ludwig, Abigail Marble (Illustrator) Publisher: Dragonfly Books, New York (2003) Monica is a target of relational aggression, emotional bullying among friends who will use namecalling and manipulation to humiliate and exclude. But with a little help from a supportive adult—her mother—Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming power from her bully.

Confessions of a Former Bully

by Trudy Ludwig, Abigail Marble (Illustrator) Publisher: Dragonfly Books (2012) After Katie gets caught teasing a schoolmate, she’s told to meet with Mrs. Petrowski, the school counselor, so she can make right her wrong and learn to be a better friend. Bothered at first, it doesn’t take long before Katie realizes that bullying has hurt not only the people around her, but her, too. Told from the unusual point of view of the bullier rather than the bullied, Confessions of a Former Bully provides kids with real life tools they can use to identify and stop relational aggression.

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Changing lives through dance for young audiences since 1992. ccdance.org Photo credit: Amanda Tipton