Homefront december 2015

DECEMBER 2015

a spiritual parenting resource

homefrontmag.com 1

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

GETTING STARTED

21 ARE YOU LIVING OUT

24 NEED AN ADVENT

40 WHAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE A POSITIVE MODEL?

ACTIVITY?

GOD’S GREATEST COMMANDMENT?

2

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

EDITOR'S NOTE Angels have many roles—both in heaven and here on earth.

In heaven, we know that angels worship God every minute of every day. Revelation 4:8 tells us, “… Day and night they never stop saying: “‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come.”

When Jesus was born, they sang the first Christmas carol ever, declaring the glorious miracle of Christ’s birth. We can learn a lot from these messengers of God. Angels model for us how to adore God alone—everything they do is based on their love for God. They never tire of worshipping Him! In this month’s issue of HomeFront we want to encourage you as parents to model a robust worship life for your children—never tiring of showing your love for God. CAPTURING THE SEASON (page 6) gives us a great way to focus on Jesus throughout this Christmas season by creating a Glory Garland. TRADITIONS (page 14) emphasizes the importance of celebrating all God is doing in both the good and the not-so-good seasons of our lives.

GOD’S WORD (page 22) inspires us to respond to God in worship and share the aspects of God we are extremely grateful for. Our STUDENT ID (page 34) is a great reminder for all parents, not just parents of middle schoolers, to be the lovers of Jesus we want our children to become—we cannot expect our children to become people we ourselves are not.

Angels were the first to proclaim the good news of Jesus’ birth and now we get to do the same. The Christmas season brings a perfect opportunity to include our friends, neighbors, and relatives in our worship of God and model to them that we adore God alone. Our prayer is that this issue of HomeFront will inspire, equip, and support you as you do exactly that!

Debbie Guinn

FAMILY TIME Family Verse

5

Capturing the Season

6

Storytelling

8

Create

10

Game Time

12

Traditions

14

Family Time Recipe

16

Kids in the Kitchen

18

Conversation Starters

20

Spiritual Parenting

21

God's Word

22

Prayer

24

Worship

26

Tot Time Rhyme

28

Blessing

29

Taking Action

30

Global

32

Glory to God in the Highest The Most Amazing Thing Proclaim the Good News

I'm Sending You a Message Remembering Christmas Artichoke Dip

Hot Chocolate Spoons

Modeling Loving Relationships Worship as Response Advent Praise!

More Than a Song Lie Down

Compassion's Gift Catalog Argentina

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT Student ID

34

Everyday Mom Blog

36

Everyday Dad Blog

38

Tough Topics

40

Marriage

42

Spiritual Grandparenting

44

Be What You Hope They Become

Editor in Chief David C Cook debbie.guinn@davidccook.com

Little Eyes

Broken and Beautiful

Let’s Be Social!

HomeFrontSP

CONTENTS

HomeFrontSP

HomeFrontSP

HomeFrontSP

Share your photos using the hashtag #homefrontmag

Oh Girl, Look to Me as I Look to Christ Space for Both

Design, Layout, and Photography by Stephanie Reindel (stephanie.reindel@davidccook.com) © 2015 David C Cook

3

The Surprise

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

It's Here!

We're thrilled to announce the launch of our new website!

Things you won't want to miss: • Parent blogs to inspire you • Mobile-friendly format • Lots of downloadable give-aways • Marketplace to purchase article bundles and more!

The new website is filled with fresh ideas and creative ways to provide you with even more resources as we partner together to spiritually parent your children.

Michelle Anthony

Vice President and Publisher of Learning Resources | David C Cook T witter @TruInspiration

Simply go to the link below to check it out today:

homefrontmag.com

We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher.

It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely.

OUR MISSION INSPIRE parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life.

Ephesians 5:1 says “Be imitators of God, as beloved children” (ESV). We know children love to imitate, so what do we as parents want them to imitate? As a parent, one of my deepest desires is for my kids to imitate God’s truth. The environment of MODELING, then, becomes an expression of that. We become living representatives of what that truth means.

EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households.

SUPPORT families to engage their communities and change the culture around them.

We are people who have experienced God’s love through Christ and God’s forgiveness in the model of Christ. Christ was and is our living example. The environment of MODELING serves as a hands-on example of what it means for all of us to put faith into action.

FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory.

This month, as you model for your family what it looks like to live out a compelling and authentic faith, our prayer is that your view of God’s truth and love would be on display for others.

Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold your family memory verse each month!

4

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

i

nt

G o t od G lo ry he

those on w hom his favo o t e c a e hig h rr est heaven, and on earth p es

ts.

family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

BUT THE ANGEL SAID TO THEM, “DO NOT BE AFRAID. I BRING YOU GOOD NEWS THAT WILL CAUSE GREAT JOY FOR ALL THE PEOPLE. TODAY IN THE TOWN OF DAVID A SAVIOR HAS BEEN BORN TO YOU; HE IS THE MESSIAH, THE LORD. THIS WILL BE A SIGN TO YOU: YOU WILL FIND A BABY WRAPPED IN CLOTHS AND LYING IN A MANGER.” SUDDENLY A GREAT COMPANY OF THE HEAVENLY HOST APPEARED WITH THE ANGEL, PRAISING GOD AND SAYING, “GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST HEAVEN, AND ON EARTH PEACE TO THOSE ON WHOM HIS FAVOR RESTS.” LUKE 2:10–14

WHAT YOU’LL NEED

Dictionary.com lists the following definitions for the word "glory":

• large chipboard or wooden letters: G–L–O–R–Y

• Very great praise, honor, or distinction bestowed by common consent; renown.

• spray adhesive

• Something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration; a distinguished ornament or an object of pride.

• glitter • twine or ribbon to hang—we used small gold chain with clips

• Adoring praise or worshipful thanksgiving.

• Resplendent beauty or magnificence.

WHAT YOU’LL DO

• A state of great splendor, magnificence, or prosperity.

1.

If you do not use clips to hang, drill 2 small holes in each letter for hanging. You can do this using a hammer and a large nail or a power drill.

2.

Prepare an open area and be sure to cover the surface you are working on.

3.

Spray the letters with the spray adhesive—one letter at a time.

4.

Sprinkle with glitter and allow a few minutes to dry.

5.

Tap the letters to remove any excess glitter that did not attach.

6.

Thread the twine or ribbon through the holes.

7.

Hang the Glory Garland in a prominent place in your home.

• A state of absolute happiness, gratification, contentment, etc.

• The splendor and bliss of heaven; heaven.

The angels understood the gravity of what took place on that holy night. They modeled for us the importance of worshipping Jesus. They knew who He was and why He came—and for that reason they gave Him all their praise.

Share with your family what the angels said when Jesus was born. Explain to them what the word glory means. Then, join with the angels and give God glory by making this Glory Garland as a reminder to worship Him throughout this Christmas season!

by Debbie Guinn 7

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

sto ry t e l l i n g Mary held a tiny baby in her arms. “Jesus has been born,” she said with tears in her eyes. “Just as God said.”

Joseph filled a trough with hay, carefully laying Jesus in the manger. Soon the little family was asleep.

But Donkey couldn’t sleep. He got up and wandered to a nearby field. Some shepherds were tending their sheep when a very bright light filled the sky.

“An angel!” one of the shepherds shouted. He pointed to a figure that looked like a man, but had a face that shone like the sun and clothes that were glistening white.

The shepherds dropped to their knees, shaking with fear. Donkey couldn’t understand why they were so frightened. The angel was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.

After several days, they were finally nearing the town of Bethlehem. Donkey took slow, steady steps. It was a difficult journey, up and down rocky hills, but Mary never complained as she rode on Donkey’s back.

Then the angel spoke.

“Do not be afraid. I bring good news! The Son of God, the Savior of the world, has been born tonight in Bethlehem! You will find him as a baby lying in a manger!”

“Are we close?” she asked hopefully as the sun began to set. Mary shivered against a cold wind, tugging on her heavy, woolen cloak.

“Not much longer,” Joseph said.

A baby? Lying in a manger? thought Donkey. It must be Jesus!

Donkey knew that Joseph had to go to Bethlehem to be counted in a “census.” Donkey had never heard of a census, but he was glad to help with the long, hard trip. Donkey loved his master, Joseph, and kind Mary who traveled with him.

“DO NOT BE AFRAID. I BRING GOOD NEWS! THE SON OF GOD, THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD, HAS BEEN BORN TONIGHT IN BETHLEHEM!

Then there were thousands of angels, each as big and strong and beautiful and bright as the next.

A few hours later, Joseph led Donkey to a small creek on the side of the road. Donkey lapped the chilly, flowing water while Joseph unfastened the pack tied to his back. The master pulled out a few pieces of flatbread, some figs, and a bit of goat cheese.

Wow! Donkey was mesmerized. Amazing!

“Glory to God in heaven!” the angels sang over and over.

Suddenly Donkey realized that although the angels were truly magnificent, they were only shining so brightly and singing so beautifully because Jesus had been born on this very special night.

“The baby will be coming soon,” Mary said softly as she ate. Donkey lifted his head and turned toward her. Looking down, Mary gently rubbed her round belly.

Donkey brayed with excitement as he turned and ran back to the stable. Lying down next to the manger, he gazed at Jesus, the Son of God, the Savior of the world.

Oh no, thought Donkey. We need to get to Bethlehem.

This, Donkey thought, is what’s truly amazing.

It was dark and starting to rain when they finally got to the crowded little town. Joseph searched for a place to rest, but every bed, in every room, was already taken, so they had to sleep with the animals.

Kathryn O’Brien Wife, mom, and award-winning children’s book author, Kathryn serves as an administrator for Stoneybrooke Christian School in Southern California. She is most grateful for family, fun, and the daily grace of a loving God.

An old stable on the outside of town was the only shelter they could find. Joseph helped Mary down from Donkey’s back and onto a bed of hay. Donkey laid down and closed his eyes, but soon was startled by the sound of a baby crying.

Website kathobrien.com 9

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

10

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

c r e at e

My favorite thing about Christmas (okay, ONE of my favorite things), is the huge opportunity it brings to invite people to church. There is something about the holiday that makes people more open to the idea of coming to church.

This provides a special opportunity to show love to people and invite them to hear the good news!

The angels proclaimed the wonderful news of Jesus' birth and we can follow their lead and proclaim that news to others as well!

Parents, pray and think of someone you want to invite to church this Christmas season and have your kids do the same. The angels were bold in sharing the good news; pray that God would make you bold too!

ANGEL-WING COOKIES

WHAT YOU’LL DO

Use refrigerator sugar cookie dough or make up your family’s favorite sugar cookie recipe. Roll out the dough. Use the template provided to make angel-wing cookies. Ice the cookies with Royal Icing (recipe below), then box them up with one of our gift tags (see link below) with an invite to your church's Christmas service.

ROYAL ICING Yields: 3 cups of icing

1.

Beat all ingredients until icing forms peaks (7–10 minutes at low speed with a heavy-duty mixer; 10–12 minutes at high speed with a hand-held mixer).

2.

Keep all utensils completely grease-free for proper icing consistency.

• For stiffer icing, use 1 tablespoon less water.

• To thin for pouring, add 1 teaspoon water per cup of Royal Icing. Add 1/2 teaspoon water at a time until you reach proper consistency. Use grease-free spoon or spatula to stir slowly.

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 3 tablespoons meringue powder • 4 cups (approximately 1 pound) powdered sugar • 5 tablespoons warm water • downloadable gift tags available at dcc.is/CreateTags *F or an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

by Carrie Rowe Carrie has been serving in children’s ministry for more than 16 years. She is currently the Kids Ministry Director at Fresh Life Church in Kalispell, MT. Born and raised in Southern California, she is learning to enjoy the outdoorsy life in Montana and loves all things crafty and creative.

Blog cuetheconfetti.com Instagram @carrierowe Twitter @carrierowe

11

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time

YOUNGER WHAT YOU’LL NEED

OLDER WHAT YOU’LL NEED

• small strips of paper

• extra-large sheets of paper (1 sheet per round)

• pen or pencil

• black marker

• hat or bowl

• small strips of paper

BEFORE YOU START Write a silly or fun sentence on each piece of paper. This could be something like, “I went to the zoo and saw the giraffes hopping up and down like silly little bunnies.” Fold each strip of paper and place all of them in your hat or bowl.

TIME TO PLAY! Gather the family around and have them sit in a circle. To begin, have an adult or child who is able to read pull a piece of paper out of the hat or bowl. The person should read the sentence quietly to himself one time. He must then set the piece of paper aside and whisper the sentence to the person sitting to his right. Much like the game telephone, each person who hears the sentence in her ear will then pass it along to the ear of the person next to her until you reach the last person.

The final person to hear the sentence will repeat what he heard out loud. Compare what is said to what was written on the piece of paper to see how close or far off your family got. Make this time silly and fun! Play as many rounds as you would like, using a different sentence from the hat or bowl each time.

• pen or pencil • hat or bowl • timer BEFORE YOU START Write the beginning of a story on each strip of paper. This could be something like, “Last Thursday I went …” or “Once upon a time there was a ….” Fold each strip of paper and place all of them in your hat or bowl. Set the extra-large sheets of paper in a place where everyone will be able to see, with the marker and timer nearby.

TIME TO PLAY! Invite your family to sit around the paper and marker. Have someone set the timer for 5–10 minutes, depending on the size of your family (you may modify the length of time to what works best for you). Once the timer starts, the oldest member of the family will begin by drawing a piece of paper from the hat or bowl. He will write the story prompt on the piece of paper and sit down. Going from oldest to youngest, each person will then quickly take turns adding a word to the sentence, eventually creating a very short and funny story. The person holding the marker when the timer dings will get to finish off the story with as few words as possible. As a family, look at what you wrote and invite one person to read it out loud. You’ve probably never heard a story like this one before! Play as many rounds as you’d like, using a different prompt each time.

12

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time

I HAVE OLDER AND YOUNGER KIDS Not a problem! You can add a twist to the older version of this game if you have a variety of ages and you’d all like to play together. Simply partner your little ones up with an older child or adult. Encourage them to act as a team—the younger one thinking up a great next word, while the older one writes it on the paper. This game is meant to move quickly since it’s being timed, so this will add some excitement as the kids try to come up with funny words to tack on.

REMEMBER! We get a lot of messages from all kinds of people in this world, but the most exciting message of all is that God had a plan to send us Jesus. God sent an angel to share this news with Mary and Joseph and it wasn’t silly or mixed up at all.

It was wonderful and perfect! Encourage your children to remember that they too have an important message to share about Jesus. The message is that He is coming back again to be with us! Until that happens, God tells each and every one of us to share this exciting news with the world!

by Heather DePartee Heather is a newlywed and works as an Instructional Aide for Kindergarten students in Fresno, CA. She spent three-and-a-half years working on the Families team at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA as an assistant to the Early Childhood Director, participating in the development of Tru Curriculum, and as an administrative assistant to the team.

13

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

traditions

Everything was all daisies and roses until the summer before I turned 12. I lived with my parents, older sister, and two younger adopted brothers in Orlando, Florida. My parents worked for a Christian missions organization, so God was a big part of our family life. We went to church, participated in youth groups and Bible studies, and spent summers at the beach and Disney. Life was good. In 2003, my parents decided to move our family back to their hometown of Wichita, Kansas. My whole world was turned upside down. The beach was replaced with wheat fields and Disney was replaced with … well, wheat fields. There was unending newness—new school, new church, new friends.

Just weeks after we moved, my dad was laid off from his new job. My dad and sister were suffering from severe clinical depression. Both of my brothers were struggling with the side effects of Reactive Attachment Disorder*—lots of anger and aggression.

My mom was the only stability left in my life. Up until this point I had never had a reason to doubt God, but in the face of so much rocking in my safe little world, I began to question a lot of things about my faith.

During this time my mom must have really been struggling—emotionally abandoned by my dad,

trying to help each of her children with their unique struggles—all while adjusting to so many life changes.

However, I rarely saw a sign of struggle. She modeled an unshakable faith. She stayed resolutely with my dad, supporting him in every way she could. She began working full-time SHE ALWAYS again, without complaint, to take HAD TIME FOR up the financial burden while my A HUG OR AN dad looked for work. Nevertheless, ENCOURAGING she always had time for a hug or an WORD FOR ME encouraging word for me when life WHEN LIFE became too much. This period of BECAME TOO “survival mode” went on for years.

MUCH. But there was my mom, usually in the background, serving her family and God faithfully. It was because of this example that I eventually re-dedicated my life to God in eighth grade. My mom's model of quiet faith even when there was no good ending in sight was a concrete example of what it looks like to follow God. DON’T FORGET It is easy in the midst of life’s hardships to forget the times when God was faithful. Our family has a Christmas tradition that my parents started to 14

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

traditions

intentionally remind us of what God has brought us through over the years. Every year, we buy or make an ornament that represents what God has done in our lives that year. Many ornaments represent happy occasions—seasons of great joy and excitement.

There’s a bride-and-groom ornament to represent the year my parents got married. Each kid has an ornament for the year he or she was born or adopted. We have a miniature jersey that represents “building a family team.” There are also several years of ornaments that represent struggle and sadness in different forms.

Every Christmas we take an evening to sit down and go through our family’s story together—one ornament, one year at a time. This time together reliving memories is often bittersweet, but a time I cherish nevertheless. It reminds me of God’s faithfulness through the good times and the hard times.

The ornament for 2004 was a medical symbol to symbolize working on healing from depression, ADHD, and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

*Reactive Attachment Disorder—the difficulty to trust because of what feels like broken trust as a young child. This can occur in such things as adoption, family changes, or early significant medical difficulties.

Consider starting a new tradition with your family. Take some time to remember what God has brought your family through—the good and the not so good. Then, talk as a family and choose an ornament that best represents your year together.

In 2005, a s’mores ornament represented “God’s care through waiting.” That one deserves further explanation—we joked that “chocolate is cheaper than counseling, and you don’t need an appointment.”

There was a lot of counseling that year.

by Stephanie Reindel Stephanie joined the HomeFront team in January 2015 as the designer and photographer. She and her husband, Joel, have been married just over a year and love their newly adopted dog, Scout. Stephanie loves using the creative talent God has given her to help put HomeFront into the hands of parents looking for new and fun ways to spiritually nurture their children.

In 2008, my brother, JD, spent a year at a residential Christian counseling center to work through some anger issues. Discipline there took the form of digging up stumps. That year’s ornament was a miniature stump to represent “growth and healing.”

15

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

This dip is a crowd pleaser at every Christmas event. I have made this dip for years and now my older girls make it and take it to their own Christmas gatherings.

Prep Time: 15 min. Cook Time: 35 min. Yields: 12 servings WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 1 cup mayonnaise • 1 cup sour cream • 8 ounces whipped cream cheese • 1 cup Parmesan cheese • 1 jar (14 ounces) marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped • 2 cups chopped fresh spinach

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Preheat oven to 350° F.

2.

Stir all dip ingredients together and salt and pepper to your family's taste.

3.

Pour into an 8" x 8" glass dish.

4.

Mix the bread crumbs with the melted butter and sprinkle on top of the dip mixture.

5.

Bake for 35 minutes.

6.

Serve with corn chips, crackers, or veggies.

• 1 cup chopped red pepper

by Richelle Paris

• salt and pepper to taste

Richelle has been married to her husband, Mark, for 23 years.

They have five daughters from 7 to 22 years old. She is blessed to come alongside working families as the Extended Care Director for a Christian school in Rancho Santa Margarita, CA. She loves to cook and entertain. Thrift stores and yard sales are her favorite shopping adventures. Her home is an open door—you can stop by at anytime and she will make you something yummy!

TOPPING • 1 ¼1/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs • ¼1/4 cup melted butter *F or an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

17

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n

Your family will have a blast making these hot chocolate spoons together. You can model how to do the first one and then allow your children to take it from there. Store them in your refrigerator and you will always be prepared to warm up on those cold winter days—simply warm 8 ounces of milk, stir, and enjoy!

Prep Time: 20 min Yields: 12 spoons WHAT YOU’LL NEED • wooden spoons

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Decorate the spoons using your decorating supplies. Be sure to only decorate the handles of the spoons and to let these dry completely before adding the chocolate to the spoons.

• 4 ounces sweet baking chocolate

2.

Melt the chocolate according to package directions.

• 4 ounces white baking chocolate

3.

Dip a spoon in one of the melted chocolates. Be sure to completely coat the spoon, front and back, and have a heaping spoonful. Lay it on wax paper.

4.

Top with the other ingredients before the chocolate hardens.

5.

Allow the topped chocolate to harden completely on wax paper.

6.

Once hardened, wrap the Hot Chocolate Spoons in cellophane treat bags and secure with a twist tie.

7.

Attach our gift tag (downloadable at dcc.is/KITKtags) and give as a gift or simply warm a cup of milk, stir and enjoy!

• decorating supplies: markers, paint, stamps and ink pads, stickers, etc.

• toppings of your choice: mini marshmallows, crushed peppermint candy, sugar sprinkles, cupcake toppings, etc.

• small cellophane treat bags or cellophane • ribbon or bakers twine *F or an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

19

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

Erin's family (Owen-5, Jackson-4, Harrison-3)

We can learn a lot about worship by looking at the way the angels model it for us in the Bible. In Revelation 4:8b it tells us, ''Day and night they never stop saying: 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,' who was, and is, and is to come.''

GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING! After sharing this Scripture with your family, discuss the following: 1.

How often should we worship God?

2.

How can we worship God in sad times?

3.

What does this Scripture tell you about God?

4.

Discuss one way in which you can worship God today.

by Erin Lorton Erin works with family ministries at First Baptist Church Harvester in the St. Louis area. She spends her days raising three high-energy, full-of-life little boys. She loves being a mom and seeing parents learn how to build a home that is filled with the love of Jesus.

Instagram @elorton

20

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

s p i r i t ua l pa r e n t i n g

God’s big idea for us is that we should have loving, meaningful relationships.

In the gospel of Mark, Jesus answered a question posed by a law expert: “What is the greatest commandment?” Just think about this. The Savior who has come to give life—and a life better than anyone could ever dream—was standing right in front of the people. Here was the One who would not only provide salvation, but also give perspective on living a life with meaning, significance, and purpose. He simply shared:

not great, but he still loved our time together at the kitchen table talking about God and praying as a family.

They liked doing missions trips together. It wasn’t as much about traveling or experiencing new cultures, but spending time together and seeing God at work in the lives of people we ministered to. Most of all, they were grateful to have a mom and dad who openly loved each other in front of them.

“The most important [commandment],” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29–31)

Life is about relationships. The rest is just details.

Everything they shared reflected back to Jesus’ statement in the gospel of Mark. Parenting is not all about making sure our kids have the right behaviors.

Rather, as Jesus reminded the Pharisees, and as my two big kids prompted me, life is about loving relationships.

Recently I was speaking to a group of people, and in my introduction I shared that I had three children ages 22, 19, and 7 years old. After saying I have a 7 year old, I noticed some of the guys staring at me with funny looks on their faces that screamed, “Dude, what were you thinking?” Well, actually I had put a lot of thought into it. She’s adopted.

As parents, we should strive to major on modeling healthy, intimate relationships (even though all families have their ups and downs). It’s essential to our children's faith for them to know Jesus, soak in God’s Word, and listen to His voice. Seeing and experiencing healthy, vibrant, and loving relationships helps our children know God.

In 2008, my wife and I had the incredible opportunity to be parents again—back at the starting line. Midnight feedings, changing diapers, and watching VeggieTales videos again made me feel out of practice.

That “new daddy” panic settled in. So I turned to my two older children to get some advice and muchneeded encouragement.

Realistically speaking, our identity is marked by our relationships. Prioritizing love and affection over behavior modification in parenting helps our children’s perspective to be life-giving. This is as the Father intended, and is opposite to our culture’s answer to seek money, pleasure, and power to fill the center stage of our souls.

At the time of our adoption, Michael and Hannah were thriving in high school. They were engaged in our church and were living a life that reflected Christ wherever they went. I was very proud of them and often thought to myself, Kari and I must have done something right. One night at dinner, I asked them, “I know Mom and I have made a lot of mistakes, but can you share something positive we did as your parents?”

Modeling relationships and what it looks like to love big and serve big can radically change our families.

If our children can watch how God uses our right relationships ... that is worth living for.

Roger Gibson Roger is the Senior Director of Adult and Family Ministries for the Assemblies of God National Leadership and Resource Center. He is passionate about equipping every church and family to make disciples. He resides in Springfield, MO, along with his lovely wife, Kari, and three children: Michael, Hannah, and Zoie.

They both jumped right in and shared things with us that were really encouraging. They shared how much they loved our “daddy devo” time together. Of course, my son made sure he pointed out that my stories were 21

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

g o d ' s wo r d THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENTS IN LIFE ARE WORTH ANNOUNCING. When something happens that truly matters, we don’t shy away from sharing it. Instead, we will tell anyone willing to listen. Imagine the excitement of the angel selected by God Himself to announce the news that Jesus, the redeemer of all mankind, had come to earth (Luke 2:9–10). It was a birth announcement like none other! If social media had existed 2000 years ago, the twitter account of this angel would have trended to the top instantly. As great as the announcement was (so great it provoked reverent fear), it paled in comparison to the RESPONSE. The Bible states that a "great company of heavenly host” appeared in response to the announcement and began praising God (Luke 2:13).

The Greek word for "host" (stratia) is understood to mean both a troop of angels and the stars of the heavens. The number of angels responding to the birth of Jesus was so large that it could only be likened to the limitless number of stars in the heavens! Even more significant than their vast number was the response of praise that came from their mouths: “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests” (Luke 2:14).

• Why do you think so many angels (more than could be counted) showed up in response to the birth of Jesus?

• How would you define worship?

• How can our family pay more attention to God? • What could we do as a family to worship God more?

DO IT Worship is all about responding. It starts with us thinking about some action or aspect of God that we are extremely grateful for. Then, in some creative way, we begin to express our gratitude to Him. Start by going around the circle and allowing each family member to share something he or she wants to praise God for. When you’re finished, choose one of the following activities to further express your praise and gratitude: • Write a short love letter to God telling Him all the things you adore about Him. Then read your letter out loud to your family and friends.

Worship is the activity of the human heart. It is not a question of "if" we will worship, but rather "what."

The angels were utterly convinced that the arrival of Jesus on the earth WORSHIP was yet another reason to give God IS THE the highest glory, honor, and worship.

ACTIVITY Having a front row seat to all the action, OF THE we can only imagine that the angels HUMAN were mesmerized by God’s actions HEART. and essence. Anything short of all-out worship must have seemed irrational, even unthinkable, to them. We know we are experiencing God for who He really is when worship starts bubbling up from within us. Like the angels, we are rightfully responding to the great gift of Jesus when we find ourselves declaring His goodness to the world around us.

• Designate a seat of honor at your dinner table for God and decorate it with expressions of your worship. Add to it throughout the week and month.

• Turn on some worship music and practice expressing your heart to God through clapping, kneeling, singing, and lifting your hands.

• Grab a guitar or sit down at the piano and begin crafting a family song that expresses your hearts for God. • Pick a spot on the wall in your house and begin filling it with drawings or paintings that remind you of God’s goodness.

• Pretend you’re an angel responding to the announcement of Jesus’ birth. Take turns sharing what you think you might have said on that special day.

by Brad Baker

HEAR IT

Brad lives in Colorado Springs, CO, with his wife, Carrie, and their four children (ages 4, 7, 10, and 12). He serves as an Executive Pastor at New Life Church overseeing the Children and Youth Ministries as well as the Desperation Leadership Academy. Brad gets outdoors as often as possible to fish, hike, bike, ski, and find adventure moments with his family. He holds a master's degree in theology and leadership and thoroughly enjoys the varied opportunities he gets to write and speak.

Read Luke 2:1–15 together as a family and discuss these questions: • How do you think you would have responded if you were one of the shepherds in the field that night?

23

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord from the heavens; praise him in the heights above.

Praise him, all his angels; praise him, all his heavenly hosts.

Praise the Lord from the earth, young men and women, old men and children.

Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.

Praise the Lord.

Selected from Psalm 148

24

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

p r ay e r

All the earth is called to praise the Lord. Throughout the Bible, we see a call to praise God for who He is. The angels model this attitude of praise for us. They remind us of what it looks like to focus on God and admire His holiness. This Advent season, let’s follow the angels’ example and spend time praising God every day.

1.

Isaiah 40:11

2.

Isaiah 9:6

3.

Hebrews 13:15

4.

Matthew 1:21

5.

Hebrews 12:2

WHAT YOU’LL NEED

6.

2 Corinthians 8:9

• 24 ornaments

7.

John 14:27

• permanent marker

8.

Isaiah 53:5

• large glass vase

9.

Ephesians 5:2

• Bible

10. Luke 1:30–33 11. Romans 10:9

WHAT YOU’LL DO Write each verse from the list on the right on an ornament.

Place all of the ornaments together in a large bowl, vase, or jar. Each day of December, take one ornament from the bowl or vase and read the verse together. Ask your children, “What does this verse tell us about God?” Be sure to help them identify some of the names of God and Jesus that are highlighted in these verses. Then pray together, praising God for who He is.

As a reminder of your praise, hang the ornament on your Christmas tree.

12. Matthew 19:14 13. John 8:12 14. Acts 1:11 15. Hebrews 13:8 16. Hebrews 4:14 17. Philippians 2:10 18. John 20:31 19. 1 John 3:16 20. 2 Corinthians 1:3 21. Ephesians 2:19–22

by Krista Heinen Krista is the Family Director at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. Krista helps equip and support the families at Elmbrook through resources, events, and conversations.

22. Philippians 4:6–7 23. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 24. Matthew 1:23

Twitter @KristaHeinen

25

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

wo r s h i p

It is in our time between the Sundays that we have our greatest opportunity to model worship.

Like the angels in the field, this is where the miracle of worship intersects with the ordinary of our life.

I heard a story this week of a family in our church that wanted to be a light in their neighborhood. As a family, they decided to make pies for every home on their street. They went to the store together, purchased ingredients, baked them together, and went door-to-door introducing themselves and handing out delicious homemade apple pies. Before passing them out, they prayed together that through this act of service God would be glorified and that His love would shine bright. What a beautiful example of more-than-a-song worship.

Luke’s account of the birth of Jesus is one of my favorite passages in all of Scripture. It is a story packed with excitement and wonder as we read about Jesus entering the world as a babe. It is a picture of the miraculous intersecting the ordinary.

Take some time this month to worship with your kids between the Sundays. Here are some practical examples you might try: • Play worship music while driving in the car.

As a worship leader, one of my favorite examples of this intersection is the angels worshipping God around the shepherds. Luke 2:13–14 says, “Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest ....’”

• Help your neighbor by mowing the yard, raking the leaves, or shoveling their driveway.

• Pray together.

The angels model worship to God in an incredible way; they worship God simply for who He is. They have not experienced the joy of redemption, yet they THE ANGELS never tire of worshipping MODEL WORSHIP God. Their worship comes TO GOD IN AN directly from their love.

INCREDIBLE WAY; I am so thankful for this THEY WORSHIP reminder to give God the GOD SIMPLY FOR glory because He is worthy WHO HE IS. of worship.

• Be intentional about conversation that focuses on the Lord.

• Treat other people the way you want to be treated.

As we lay down our lives as an act of worship, we are creating a culture of worship in our homes that our kids will not miss. Make a point to worship God, like the angels, simply because He is worthy of it. You will not be disappointed!

by Bobby Taylor Bobby and his wife, Rachel, love to travel, lead worship, and speak to worship leaders about the value of authentic worship and local church ministry. They have three children and live in Colorado Springs, CO. Bobby currently serves as the Worship Pastor at Mountain Springs Church.

As parents, we have an amazing opportunity to model worship for our children. This is something that sometimes happens in a corporate setting as we demonstrate what it is to worship God in song with other believers. However, worship is so much more than only that. As Matt Redman puts it in his song, "The Heart of Worship,”

Website bobbyandracheltaylor.com Facebook Bobby and Rachel Taylor

I'll bring you more than a song For a song in itself Is not what you have required.

Instagram @bobbywtaylor Twitter @bobbywtaylor

27

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

equip

tot t i m e r h y m e ( ag e s 3 & u n d e r )

LIE DOWN

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you SIT AT HOME and when you WALK ALONG THE ROAD, when you LIE DOWN and when you GET UP. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

SIT AT HOME

WALK ALONG THE ROAD

LIE DOWN

GET UP

At bedtime this month, sing this rhyme to the tune of "Rock-a-bye Baby."

Remind your child that the angels rejoiced when Jesus was born and we can too!

Jesus Christ, a little baby lying in hay, but He is our King.

Angels rejoice, we join them and sing Holy Holy Holy is He.

by Rachel Taylor Rachel Taylor is a singer/songwriter. She has a passion for the local church, and leads worship alongside her husband at Mountain Springs Church in Colorado Springs, CO. Rachel is also the daughter of Melody and the late Keith Green.

Facebook Bobby and Rachel Taylor

Twitter @racheltaylor333

Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re teaching your children, use repetition!

28

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

blessing

From a young age, our children learn that they have traits that indicate their place in our families; they have likenesses that show to whose family they belong—and people around them often point these qualities out.

The more we consistently turn their eyes to the glorious Creator, the forgiving Savior, the kind and loving Jesus, and the awesome, almighty God, the more they will see Him in the world around them. As they begin seeing the reflection of God each and every day, it will become natural for them to tell others how they see God’s handiwork and character too!

“You look just like your daddy!”

“You laugh just like your mom.”

“You act just like your grandpa!”

While it is valuable (and sometimes just fun!) to have these clues that show we are like our earthly families, how much more important is it for children to know that they reflect their Father in heaven who created them?

PARENTS READ THIS SCRIPTURE OVER YOUR CHILD Psalm 71:8: "My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long," BLESSING

“You showed kindness just like Jesus does!”

(Child’s name), may you know the wonder and greatness of the Lord as you look for His reflection in the things around you. I pray that you will be in awe of God as you see echoes of Him throughout your days.

As you see Him all around you, may your mouth be filled with praise, declaring His splendor all day long!

“You were quick to forgive like God does!”

“That picture you drew shows the beauty and creativity of God!” There are many opportunities during each day to turn our children’s attention to the greatness of the Lord. From sunsets to rain showers, from a bird in the sky to the bug on the ground, from the color of our children’s eyes to the kindness they show a sibling, we have the privilege and responsibility to show them how the world all around us displays the grandeur of God.

by Alissa Goble Alissa is a homeschooling mom of two boys, a proud law-enforcement wife, lover of all things Colorado (except for snakes!), and an incurable shutterbug finishing up her photography degree.

29

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

ta k i n g ac t i o n

I’m a big reader. As a child, I had books hidden away everywhere—in the cushions of the couch, tucked under my brother’s car seat, and stuffed into my pillowcase.

So when I was about 10 years old, I decided I would buy every person in my family a book for Christmas. I pored over the Scholastic books order form and found books for my parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I wrapped them and carefully placed them under the tree.

On Christmas Eve, when we exchange gifts with my extended family, I was so excited to watch everyone open their gifts.

There was one problem, though.

Not everybody likes to read.

30

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

ta k i n g ac t i o n A child who has known the ache of hunger will sit down to a hot meal.

The adults were kind, even though I had given them children’s cookbooks and “chapter books.” But my cousins and siblings were a little more honest.

A chicken will lay enough eggs to be sold in the market, providing the money for a child’s first pair of new shoes.

“Books?” one cousin mumbled. “What is this, homework?”

And a mother will grip a pencil and write her name—and know that this is the beginning of a new life.

Looking back, it’s a funny memory. I can see that, in my passion, I forgot to think about the receiver. I didn’t consider what they wanted or what they enjoyed.

This Christmas, I hope you will find the same kind of joy in choosing the perfect gifts for your loved ones—and do so knowing that a child in poverty will experience the love of Jesus because you chose to give a gift in Jesus’ name

I thought of that story again this year as I was looking through this year’s Compassion Gift Catalog. As I folded down the corners of several pages, I challenged myself. I am passionate about Compassion. But was I pulling another “everyone gets a book” scenario?

See more at: www.compassion.com/catalog

But in the health section, I thought of my friend who is a pediatric nurse, and how much she would love that a malnourished child would be fed in her honor. My uncle, who grew up on a farm, would get a kick out of opening his Christmas card to see that I had given a chicken to a child in poverty in his honor.

And my mother, who worked so hard as a single mom for the first years of my life, would understand the value of helping a mother learn to read and write.

by Brandy Campbell, courtesy of blog.compassion.com Brandy Campbell is a writer, a storyteller, a yarn spinner, and a pen pal. Brandy works as a feature writer for Compassion International. Her job has taken her around the globe as she brings the stories of children in poverty back home to adults in affluence—seeking to both comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable by telling the stories of children who have overcome tremendous obstacles.

Blog brandycampbell.com

But it doesn’t end there.

I know that Compassion will spend time and energy to find the perfect recipients for those gifts.

31

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

family time

g lo b a l

Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mind-set in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ...

argentina

Argentina is located in the southern region of South America. The nation borders Chile to the west and south; the Atlantic Ocean, Uruguay, and Brazil to the east; and Bolivia and Paraguay to the north. Argentina has a total area of 1,068,296 square miles.

Chile Brazil

Paraguay

Bolivia

South Pacific Ocean

Argentina

South Atlantic Ocean

Uruguay

Falkland Islands (UK) South Georgia (UK)

QUICK STATS

POPULATION

42,689,953

LANGUAGE

SPANISH

RELIGION

CATHOLICISM 71% PROTESTANT 15% NON-RELIGIOUS 11%

family time

g lo b a l NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF ARGENTINA, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.

There are more than 42 million people who call Argentina their home.

If you went to church in Argentina you would most likely go to a Catholic church.

To talk to your friends in Argentina you would speak Spanish.

To say HELLO in Spanish you would say, “Hola.” Pronounced Oh-la (the “h” is silent).

Asado (barbeque) is considered the national dish. It originated with the country’s gauchos, or cowboys. You will find beef, pork, ribs, sausages, and sweetbreads hot off the fire.

DID YOU

KNOW

?

• The Argentine city of Ushuaia is the southernmost city in the world.

• Buenos Aires (the capital of Argentina) has a special holiday called Friend’s Day (El Día del Amigo). Friends gather together on July 20th every year to celebrate their friendship.

• Argentina is home to the giant anteater, which has a tongue that can grow to be up to two feet long.

In Argentina, the weather is warm at Christmas. Preparations for Christmas begin very early in December and even in November. Many people in Argentina are Catholic and celebrate Advent.

Homes are beautifully decorated with lights and wreaths of green, gold, red, and white flowers. Red and white garlands are hung on the doors of houses. Christmas trees are also very popular and they are often decorated by the 8th of December (the feast of the Immaculate Conception—a Catholic holiday celebrating when Jesus was conceived in the virgin Mary). Some people like to put cotton balls on the Christmas tree to represent snow! Any tree might be made into a Christmas tree—not just the traditional fir tree.

The Nativity scene or pesebre is also an important Christmas decoration in Argentina. The pesebre is placed near the Christmas tree.

The main Christmas meal is eaten on Christmas Eve. It might even be a barbecue served in the garden! Some popular dishes include roasted turkey, roasted pork, stuffed tomatoes, and Christmas bread and puddings like Pan Dulce and Panetone.

At midnight there will be the sound of lots of fireworks! People also like to toast the start of Christmas day. Some people like to go to midnight services, but others prefer to stay at home and set off fireworks and then open their presents under the tree. http://www.whychristmas.com/cultures/argentina.shtml

33

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

equip

st u d e n t i d (6 t h

to

8th grade)

How do I deal with hard situations? When things get difficult, we run to what we trust the most. When hardship, sickness, or tragedy befalls your family, where do you run? What is that teaching your child?

I have been a dad for all of six months.

On May 28, 2015, my beautiful wife, Chawna, gave birth to our first child, our precious little Daisy Jane.

With that in mind, I admit, I don’t have much of anything to offer parents in terms of my own parenting experience. I’ve got swaddling and diapers down pretty good by now, but alas, I hear there is much more to learn.

What do I give my time to? Not only do our mouths reveal our hearts, our calendars do too. We give time to the things we value the most. What does you calendar teach your child about what you deem to be important? Among the many important things you do, what does your calendar show to be the most important?

However, although I don’t have many (or any) years of firsthand parenting experience, I do have 10 years of youth-ministry experience.

In those years, I’ve picked up some very valuable lessons by watching the best and the not-so-best BE THE of parenting. It is from that LOVER OF experience that I’d like to JESUS YOU offer one of the most powerful HOPE YOUR parenting principles out there: CHILD WILL Be the lover of Jesus you BECOME. hope your child will become.

Am I in God’s Word? Watching my wife enjoy chocolate always make me want some.

All she has to do is savor it and I find myself wanting to enjoy what she is having. In a similar way, our children will desire what we savor; they’ll want what we enjoy. Therefore, may we savor God’s Word like we hope they will. When they pick our Bibles up, may they see them well-worn. If they open our Bibles up, may they see their tissue-like pages covered in highlights, underlines, and notes. When they walk around the house, may they catch us pouring over that Glorious Book. May our savoring of God’s Word create a longing for it in the hearts of our children.

As with most of life’s best practices, this idea is not profound and it is definitely not novel. It’s basic. It’s Parenting 101 stuff. But, oftentimes the lessons we need to hear the most are the ones we are good at ignoring. Sometimes we have the hardest time seeing what’s right in front of us (like our noses).

Remember, we cannot expect our children to become people we ourselves are not.

However, as many of us ask these questions, guilt may rise up in our souls. But take heart, I have good news. Jesus has died for all our sins, including our parenting sins. So if these questions came with a sting, let that send you to Jesus for the grace your heart needs and from there be instructed by Him to be the Christian you hope your child will become.

In order to keep this from being just a vague proverb, allow me to ask a few short questions that may help you think more deeply about what your kids may be seeing from you.

What do I celebrate at home? C. J. Mahaney once wrote, “Our children will pursue what we applaud. They will emulate what we celebrate." What is celebrated most in your home? Grades? Sports? Or the things of God’s grace?

by Dana Dill Dana is the youth pastor at South Shores Church in Dana Point and a writer for the TruIdentity student curriculum. He is husband to his beautiful wife, Chawna, and daddy to his precious six-month-old daughter, Daisy.

What do my kids hear me talk about? As Jesus said, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:45). Even if your kids haven’t read that from their Bibles, they know it intuitively. Our mouths reveal our hearts.

What are your kids hearing?

35

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

about faq

search

everyday mom blog

store

everyday dad blog

food

subscribe

crafts

family

little eyes jennie lusko

Lenya Lusko, who went to be with Jesus at five years old, praying for her daddy, Levi, before he was going to preach.

There is nothing quite as sweet as that moment when you catch your child copying something you do that you have worked hard to model for them. There’s a feeling that comes over you that essentially says, “Praise God! I just might be doing something right!!”

It’s that moment when you’re praying as a family, and you look over and see one of them folding her hands, closing her eyes, scrunching her nose, and concentrating really hard. It’s when they pray epic prayers like, “Dear God, You are awesome. You are really, really awesome. Thank you that Jesus died on the cross. I pray that all the people come to know You.” It’s the time when you’re singing a worship song, and you find one of them lifting his little hand up in worship. It’s when you overhear him say to his sibling, “That was a really good job, sister! You are so sweet.”

These are beautiful moments when we catch a glimpse of how their little hearts might actually be learning some of the things we are living in front of them.

However, there is nothing quite as terrifying as catching our children copying the wrong things we do. In fact, these are the moments when we wonder what on earth we are even doing as parents. It’s when we hear our children yelling at each other, but sadly, the tone they are using sounds all too familiar, because we used the exact tone with our oldest daughter the day before. It’s the moment when we watch our children’s response to our husband, and we realize they are acting that way because they were following our lead when we responded to him the same way earlier that week.

It’s in these moments that we feel like we’re failing as parents and we feel as if we should just throw in the towel and let someone more qualified raise our kids for us.

Some of us may teach our children the song, “O Be Careful Little Eyes.” And here we are, telling ourselves, “O be careful with the little eyes that see you.” It’s such a weighty thing to be living our lives in front of “little eyes” every day, It seems like an impossible task so much of the time.

Something that has helped me recently is recognizing that what God calls us to, He gives us the grace for. I am very unqualified and I am not fully equipped for this heavy job of modeling every day life for my children. I am an

36

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

imperfect person, seeking to live life in front of an imperfect husband, and in front of imperfect little children, and I can’t do this! I can’t do this on my own—it’s impossible actually, because I will fail, and I will lose my cool, and I will mess it up. Inevitably, I will disappoint the most important people in my life.

BUT, God is able. He is able to fill in the gaps where we lack, and more importantly, His grace is sufficient for us.

And get this—His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). So, when we recognize, and even embrace our weakness, when we humble ourselves before God and before our spouses and before our families, there’s strength there—God’s strength. And His strength is all we need.

Jennie and her daughter Clover

So the goal isn’t to live a perfect life for our children to follow; our goal is to live a grace-filled life, pointing them to Jesus, and using every opportunity to show them God’s love, and to show them how we respond to our failures. As my husband always says, we must learn the art of failing well—owning the fail, and showing the people we love the most what we do when we fall down. We get back up, and we keep walking and moving forward. We remember how our Father in heaven looks at us with love, and we allow this to open our eyes to see how we can live our lives in front of the “little eyes” who are following our lead.

Jennie is the wife of Pastor Levi Lusko of Fresh Life Church in Montana. She is the mom to four beautiful girls, with one in heaven. Jennie has her eyes and heart set on Jesus all the way to heaven.

Website mrslusko.com Instagram @jennielusko Twitter @jennielusko

37

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

about faq

search

everyday mom blog

store

everyday dad blog

food

subscribe

crafts

family

broken and beautiful scott dannemiller

[The Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10) Not long ago, our family embarked on a vacation to celebrate my brother-in-law Owen’s 50th birthday. Since he is a big fan of surfing, we booked a week at a beach house on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, known for their tasty waves, abundant sunshine, and an unprecedented number of shark attacks this past summer.

In preparation for spending hours floating on a board and looking like a wounded seal, Owen studied up on the best way to minimize the risk of an attack. Apparently, experts say that those not interested in becoming Jaws’ next meal should stay away from warm water, piers, and common fishing grounds. We were also advised to keep an eye out for warning signs, such as bait fish jumping out of the water as if they were being chased by something large and toothy.

A few days into our vacation, we were following the protocols to the letter when someone noticed a tiny triangle pop out of the surf about a hundred yards away from us. Was it a porpoise? A small whale? The fin surfaced a few more times as we feverishly searched Google for how to tell the difference between a shark fin and a dolphin fin. Finally, someone made a suggestion: “Maybe it’s time for a sand-castle building contest?”

Thank you, Charles Darwin.

The kids got to work on the sand castle of the century while my wife, Gabby, and I went searching for shells to decorate their creations. I walked to the edge of the water with a bucket in hand. Due to the pounding of the waves, most of the shells had been reduced to random shards, so I moved clumsily as my weak little baby feet grimaced with each step.

I picked through the rubble looking for perfectly formed specimens that had survived the violence unscathed. I found crazy-shaped oyster shells, perfect pink fans, and even some black clams that looked like they had been plucked right out of an aquarium. I put each one in the bucket and carried them back to my nephew, Jack.

38

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

Meanwhile, my daughter joined Gabby in the surf to pick just the right shell to decorate her own masterpiece.

I turned and noticed her bend over to pick up a tiny, jagged triangle. She held it out toward my wife.

“Look at this one, Mom!” Gabby looked down at the fragment.

“That’s great, Audrey. But I’m trying to find a whole shell. One that’s just perfect.”

My daughter glanced up from her hand, caught my wife’s gaze and said, “Mom ... just because they're broken doesn’t mean they're not beautiful.”

Gabby’s face instantly registered that rare emotion. It has no name. But if you are a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s that glorious overlay of surprise, shame, joy, peace, and utter fulfillment that comes when you realize one of your own has just caught you being “of the world” and then teaches you a sublime truth about the nature of God. After a moment, Gabby responded, “You’re right, Audrey,” placing a hand on her tiny shoulder. “They’re all beautiful, aren’t they?” And Audrey smiled.

As you might expect, our shell hunt changed that day. Sure, we still rejoiced in finding the perfect, unblemished shell. But we also took time to appreciate the mosaic of fragments. The way that one color blended into the next. The interesting shapes. The contour of the edges. Arbitrary.

Erratic. Smoothed by time and tides, scraping across rough sand. And Audrey gathered them up, one by one, and placed them lovingly into her green bucket.

I’ve thought about my daughter’s words a lot over the past few days.

Here she is, a tiny child, modeling for me what it’s like to put the Word of God into action. To be His hands and His heart. I would like to say that her lesson to me is planted firmly at the top of my mind, ready for action the instant I start to question my worth. But sadly, that’s not true.

Instead, her message has been buried, curling around the back wall of my brain. Deep in the dark recesses. Obscured by my own expectations and an overwhelming desire to please others. So when the moments of doubt come, my emotions quickly follow. Wondering turns into worrying.

Hesitation becomes hopelessness.

Maybe it’s the same way for you.

Your head gets spun up in “should-have” and “ought-to.” You start to focus on all you’ve lost instead of all you have. Failed relationships. Words you can’t take back. Stupid mistakes. The setbacks and storms.

It’s a pastime for us, isn’t it? Lamenting what might have been and wallowing in weakness. In a perfect world, these thoughts would never touch our minds. But that perfect world is an impossible mirage, as unrealistic as a soft sand beach brimming with only flawless shells.

But I can take comfort in this: though these thoughts will always come, there will be times when they retreat, if only for an instant. And it’s in these quiet moments that I just need to listen for God's truth in my daughter’s words, returning to rescue me from myself, reminding me that all my worry is for nothing. That power is made perfect in weakness. That grace calls us “enough.”

Every. One. Shattered fragments of the whole.

Seen as God sees us.

Broken and beautiful.

Scott Dannemiller is a speaker, author, worship leader, former Presbyterian missionary, and now President of LifeWork Associates. His book, The Year Without a Purchase: One Family’s Quest to Stop Shopping and Start Connecting is due out this fall through WJK Press.

Blog accidentalmissionary.net 39

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

equip

to u g h to p i c s

Sally with her daughter, Scout. Photo Courtesy of Valerie Denise Photography.

sometimes very long—the battle of the naptime, messy house, fight to keep my marriage a priority, all the “feels” that come with having an infant are very, very real. And, for me, there’s an extra weight that can creep in at times. It’s a strong shrill voice that can sometimes threaten my ability to hear the still, small voice of Christ in me.

My five-month-old is taking her third nap today.

She just finished up in the bath. My husband is at work and the house is getting increasingly quiet and each breath of my daughter getting a little longer as her sleep deepens. We’re in that season of growing awareness, teething toys, and rolling every which way—where even a walk to the mailbox around the corner is a mysterious and new adventure as baby girl explores things that, old for me, are so captivating and new for her.

This voice, the intruder, is the one that tells me, “YOU CAN’T,” and reminds me of where I’ve come from. My story is long with a lot of twists and turns—many beautiful and some equally painful. My story has the theme of adoption and redemption and

I can’t help but feel welled up to the brim with the truth that I am blessed. The days are still long, 40

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

equip

to u g h to p i c s rescue by Christ and the people that still surround me. But, ultimately, my story is one that lacks a mommy—my mom was and is severely alcoholic. My memories with her, even the best ones, are tainted by the image of a Coors Light or Corona and the trauma that always came after that “one last drink.”

And, as God would have it for me, I was rescued from those abusive hands when I was 16, and taken in by my new family, my now family, my forever family. But, even with the best of examples over the last 10 years, there are still the memories of my most formative ages that gnaw at me daily. I don’t have the example or memory of someone treating me like their little AND, AS GOD princess when I was one, two, WOULD HAVE three through sixteen. I never IT FOR ME, I had that opportunity. And, even WAS RESCUED in the most joyful of times, this FROM THOSE is a painful reality that I bear.

ABUSIVE Even though I have a “mom,” my HANDS WHEN I high-school pastor’s wife, that I WAS 16. can call at any hour of any day to say help (!!!), there’s often this void where wishing makes its home: I wish my birth-mom could know her granddaughter. I wish my birth-mom could see me do this. I wish my birth-mom was healthy enough to show me what to do when my daughter is sick or just hold my baby and cook me dinner and rub my hair, like I see all the moms of the mommies I know take ownership of and do.

The beautiful opportunity that I get to live with, that is set apart and unique, is the gift I get to hand my daughter with each gentle hold, every time I feed her and give her my full attention, read to her, play with her, fight for her … I get to say to her, “Girl, my mom couldn’t do these things for me, but I am lucky beyond measure to get to do these things for you. And so much more.” This is my grace-given opportunity. Though I lacked the early example, I get to be the example. The legacy I will leave behind will be changed because I will choose to trump that intruding voice with the still, small, yet mighty, whisper of Christ that reigns.

show up unannounced and ask for encouragement, help, or just laugh and cry with. They are the ones who model wisdom and faithfulness and Spiritdependent parenting to me every single day. Once an orphan, forever chosen, lacking nothing, I have people God has brought into my life to show me how to show my daughter Christ.

Scout (my daughter) and I just finished reading the Francis Hodgen Burnett classic, A Little Princess. It’s a tale of triumph and victory and the beauty of adoption and overcoming the biggest of heartaches. There is a line toward the end that struck me and made me realize something about myself, and a prayer I want to carry for my daughter as she grows, “The mere fact of her sufferings and adventures made her a priceless possession.”

It felt strange to hang this in her nursery, but I just imagine my daughter as she grows and faces her first wave of trials and tribulations, and that I get to be the one to sit with her and listen, to invite her to let Jesus take those aches and fill those gaps with His everlasting promise to make beauty from the ashes.

And the best part is that I get to walk with her from a place of knowing this to be true, because, I myself have experienced it.

My story involves a lack that Christ alone could fill, and, the truth is, I would be lying if I said the pain went away. I will always hope for my mom, my birthmom, to want me, to love me, to be proud of me, and guide me. But because I lack this, I get to pursue Christ for the greatest wisdom and to fill me with the greatest love to give back to my daughter. I never have to be afraid because He is able to teach me and direct me, and I get to say to my daughter everyday, "Oh sweet girl, look to me as I look to Christ!"

by Sally Kim

And, as grace would have it, God has used a family that surrounds me, calls me their own, reminds me of how I belong and how they are proud of me and who I’ve become, against all odds. These are the people my daughter calls Opa and Nana, uncle and auntie. I wasn’t born into a family that could model Christ-centered parenting and lifestyle to me—but God sent me head-on into a family where I can still 41

In 2012, fresh out of college, and only 22 years old, Sally started her personal blog, Letters From a Mister (mom-sister), to invite people in on her journey of fostering her three younger brothers. Over the past three years, she’s used her story to show people that heartbreak is okay, God is still in the hardest of places, and we belong in the trenches with the oppressed. She is currently the content manager for the Yellow Conference, a gathering for creative women to be equipped and inspired to change the world through everyday living.

Blog lettersfromamister.tumblr.com Blog yellowconference.com/blog Instagram @misssallyrae

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

support

m a r r i ag e

For the majority of our marriage, my wife, Sarah, has worked tirelessly behind the scenes so I could use my gifts. Over the past few years I've become aware of how much she has given up for me. Each morning I awake to the reality that I get to do a job I feel I was made for and serve people at a church I dearly love, while Sarah does all the stuff that I seemingly can't find the time to do. I've declared we're a team, but in full disclosure, I've begun wondering what kind of team it is when one person gets to do what he loves and the other has to silence her own God-given callings. It's made me wrestle with what I IT'S MADE ME am modeling to my son and WRESTLE WITH daughter about the importance WHAT I AM of calling and having a MODELING TO marriage where both people MY SON AND are actively using their GodDAUGHTER given gifts.

A few months ago, I woke up early and started journaling about all of this. As I started writing, I kept tracing the word "repent" over and over again. Stories flooded my memory of ways Sarah had given sacrificially for me and how I struggled to return the favor. Here's the thing: I've been a massive champion and advocate for my wife to thrive in her vocation UNLESS it inconvenienced me.

has been teaching me about what it looks like to make space for both of us (our God-given gifts and desires) to thrive, and how to actually model that for our kids. It's an easy thing to say you're for, but trickier than I would have ever imagined to make a reality.

This season I'm wanting her voice, her gifts, her talent to shine. Last week I took the kids to see her in action on a photo shoot. It was so much fun watching her—the questions she asks and the ways she makes people feel safe—but even better was having our kids see her special ability to capture the light in others.

The word photograph literally means "to write about the light."

It's amazing how often many of our marriages can unintentionally silence the light, that beautiful image and God-given ability in our spouse. The consequences of this are quite severe: our daughters start to believe they're to silence their light and our sons believe their own light is the most important.

When you make space for both gifts to shine, your marriage will be stronger, your kids will see a bigger view of God's kingdom, and it will cause you to step out and do something you've never really done before.

by Steve Carter Steve Carter is the teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, IL. He and his wife, Sarah, live outside Chicago with their two kids, Emerson and Mercy June, and their dog, Biscuit.

Sarah is a gifted artist, photographer, and writer and I love when she pursues these things—unless I am asked to step away from my role to help her. God

42

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

support

m a r r i ag e

Using creativity in partnership with nonprofits, Sarah works to raise awareness and support as an advocate for the liberation of child slaves in Ghana. She writes and teaches creativity workshops and her artwork has been shown in galleries throughout the US. Sarah lives outside of Chicago with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Emerson and Mercy.

Website sarahcarterstudio.com

Facebook Sarah Carter Studio

Twitter @heysarahcarter

Pinterest SarahCarterArt

43

Instagram @heysarahcarter

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

home and I was determined to be the best stepgrandmother ever! Not to mention my ten- and four-year-old granddaughters would be spending Christmas with me for the first time in years.

Needless to say, I planned and began prepping every single detail.

The plan was in place. My daughter and her newly blended family were coming to spend Christmas with us. She had been married for only one month and I was beyond thrilled to have my new family visit and share in our Christmas traditions. My son-in-law had two teenage children who had never been to my 44

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

support

s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g out of me. I wanted everything to be perfect—my kind of perfect! But as the next few days went on, I realized she was right. No one cared if my Christmas decorations were done. They did not care (and, in fact, teased me) for trying to turn on the twinkle lights on my mantle, which took about 10 minutes because there were 12 of them and each had their own individual on-and-off switch inside the lid of a jar. They didn’t mind running to the store to pick up the extra few items needed to complete meals. They all pitched in and took the warehouse boxes to the trash, and we never found a home for those big grocery items—but no one seemed to mind them on the kitchen counter.

They were leaving Austin, Texas on a Friday right after the kids got out of school. They were staying with family in the Dallas area and then getting up early to tackle the 11-hour drive to Colorado Springs. They would arrive just in time for dinner on Saturday and spend the next five days with us. I got butterflies in my stomach seeing them on social media in Dallas on Friday night, knowing their next stop would be my home.

All was going exactly as we had planned. I spent Friday night doing all the “big” shopping at a warehouse store and left a few items to grab from the regular grocery store the next day. I still had presents to wrap, final cleaning and decorating touches to finish—my Saturday to-do list was huge, but I knew I had plenty of time to accomplish it! I went to bed Friday night with boxes all over the house and, groceries that still needed to find a home. After working all week I was exhausted, but I was ready to wake up early and make everything perfect for their arrival.

In fact, I never even got the presents wrapped with the perfectly matching paper and bows—my family couldn’t wait to give each other their gifts, so we didn’t wait till Christmas Eve or Christmas morning.

We passed them out wrapped in plastic store bags the first night they arrived.

Well, wake up early I did—but not how I expected! At around 5:30 in the morning I heard loud knocking at my door and the doorbell ringing over and over. I heard some other sound that I couldn’t quite make out, but as I approached the door I realized it was party blowers like someone was celebrating something!

Half asleep, I opened my front door to see my daughter and her new family standing there and yelling, “Surprise!!!” My thoughts swirled, No, no, no! This can’t be right! You were just in Dallas at 6pm last night. I AM NOT READY FOR YOU!

MY DAUGHTER MODELED SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO ME LAST CHRISTMAS. SHE SHOWED ME THAT BEING TOGETHER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HAVING THINGS PERFECT.

My daughter modeled something very important to me last Christmas. She showed me that being together is more important than having things perfect. She reminded me that they didn’t come to eat my meals or see my Christmas decorations. Family doesn’t care if the house is clean or if your to-do list is complete. Family only cares about making memories with each other—in fact, they will drive all through the night to get there sooner to spend more time together, even amidst the mess!

As they flooded into my home, they ran from room to room waking up any remaining sleepers that somehow slept through the celebration at the front door. Before I knew it, I had six houseguests and my son and his two children who live with me whirling in a frenzy in the midst of my Saturday to-do list mess! They brought breakfast supplies and got right to work in the kitchen. I tried to fake my excitement but I didn’t do a good job. My daughter finally pulled me aside and said, “What’s wrong, Mom?” I explained I had things to do that day and I wasn’t ready for them. She hugged me and reminded me they came to be with me and now we would get to do my Saturday to-do list together!

Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has more than 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households.

Instagram @homefrontsp Twitter @homefrontsp

I’ll be honest—it didn’t sink in when she said that. I still felt like the wind had been knocked 45

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

10

ENVIRONMENTS The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides with the monthly distribution of this resource.

1

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

Responsibility This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost.

Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

3

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christfollowers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

4

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

5

“God has a big story and I can be a part of it!”

46

2

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are challenged to step out of their comfort zone from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Innate in this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

Storytelling The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective into how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for God’s glory.

MODELING | homefrontmag.com

7

6

“I belong to God

“God knows me, and

and He loves me!”

I can know Him.”

Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known

by God. We live in a world that denies absolute Truth and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s Truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, His Word, and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

9

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

10

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

8

“God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

Course Correction This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment.

Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses: a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter identities the world will offer.

Faith Community God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a handson example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

SPIRITUAL PARENTING: An Awakening for Today’s Families

BY MICHELLE ANTHONY © 2010 DAVID C COOK

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan.

All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked “ESV” are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division ofGood News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

MODELING | homefrontmag.com 47

THE WHOLE

GOSPEL IN A SINGLE STORY

In biblical times, God instructed the people of Israel to pass their faith to the next generation by telling their story.

This vivid children’s book tells the full picture of the Bible in one sitting, helping to nurture kids’ spiritual curiosity and point them toward a lifetime of following Jesus the King.

Available in print and digital editions everywhere books are sold