HFSPR_MAY_2013_FINAL

MAY 2013

Capturing the Season MAY FLOWERS

Family Time Recipe CORRECTED COURSE TRAIL MIX

The Middle THE HEART OF THE MATTER

Course Correction “WHEN I GET OFF TRACK, GOD OFFERS ME A PATH OF HEALING”

6 14 22

Capturing the Season MAY FLOWERS

Family Time Recipe CORRECTED COURSE TRAIL MIX

The Middle

THE HEART OF THE MATTER

CONTENTS FAMILY TIME

13

Worship

22

Tough Topics

3

Environment

14

Family Time Recipe

22

The Middle

4

Editor’s Note

15

Kids in the Kitchen

5

How to Use Family Time and the Family Verse

16

Conversation Starters

23

Marriage

6

Capturing the Season

17

Global

24

Spiritual Parenting

7

Storytelling

18

Blessing

25

Spiritual Grandparenting

8

God's Word

INSPIRE

26

10 Environments

10

Prayer

The Everyday Parent

27

Resource Page

11

Traditions & Create

12

Game Time

Course Correction

May Flowers

Pray and Wait

Remain in the Vine Peruvian Prayers

20

Stepping Stone Path

Conga Line and Hot Lava Crossing

Celebrating God Corrected Course Trail Mix

The Righteous Path

Changing Courses

The Heart of the Matter

SUPPORT

Healing Hearts

Peru

Divorce

Don't Give Up Inbox

Grandfamilies

Hot Lava Crossing

EQUIP

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Tot Time

Along the Road 2

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely.

This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment.

Instead, biblical discipline encompasses a season of pain, a building up in love, and a vision for a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

This month we’re looking at the environment of COURSE CORRECTION. Most people probably think this sounds like a painful process. And it can be! When we find ourselves “off course” in life, sometimes just the realization that we’re wrong can be painful. Sometimes the consequences of our decisions can be painful. However, God has a way of using our mistakes and missteps to make us beautiful and powerful examples of His love. We pray that your family will experience the healing and restoration God brings to His children.

Michelle Anthony Family Ministry Architect David C Cook

Follow Michelle: @TruInspiration

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF COURSE CORRECTION (an excerpt from Spiritual Parenting by Michelle Anthony)

When my son, Brendon, was fifteen he loved to skateboard. … I often played chauffeur for him and his friends as they scouted out these choice areas for thrill and risk. As I drove them from site to site, I heard their conversations and the words they used to describe others or an event— and not all of them were edifying. Far from it.

Occasionally, if one boy felt another had crossed the line, he’d say, “Hey, watch what you say,” and the offender would apologize. One night, I had dropped off all the boys, and my son and I went to dinner together. I was thrilled to have him all to myself to share life over a meal.

Now in the world of teenage boys, one-word grunts usually suffice for communication. “Are you hungry?” [Grunt] “Do you have homework?” [Grunt] “Did you have fun?” [Grunt] It’s a gripping exchange of ideas! So as we sat down to eat, my son grunted. But it was good because he was grunting with me, and I wanted him to know I was interested in his life.

And then he actually crafted an entire sentence—in the form of a question, no less. He said, “Hey Mom, does it bother you when my friends are swearing? … Well, would it bother you if I used those bad words?” Wow! I knew this was a moment I didn’t want to blow. I prayed a quick prayer and thought of my options.

Option one was to say, “Of course it would bother me to have you cuss or swear! Don’t you know who I am? You wouldn’t want to embarrass me at the church, would you? Besides—it’s just horrible and you shouldn’t do it. Case closed!” Option two, however, raced through my mind like a subtle wind and seemed to get at the heart of the matter.

I said, “Brendon, what I am most concerned about is your heart. This is what God is most concerned about too. So I don’t want you to use bad language simply because everyone else is doing it and you want to fit in, but I also don’t want you to not swear only because your father and I say not to. You’re old enough to determine what is in your heart and then to speak words that are congruent with who you are.” I waited, but there was no grunt. He nodded and then began to share about his day, his thoughts, his life.

We sat in that café for over an hour just talking—sharing about decision making in the most delicate of teenage topics. … It is one of my most treasured moments with my son, because I let God use my words to penetrate the heart and not just the behavior. He felt safe in that moment to desire healing.

Design, Layout, and Photography by Brad Claypool (brad.claypool@davidccook.com)

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

EDITOR’S NOTE Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

(Proverbs 3:5–6)

As our team began brainstorming this month’s issue of HomeFront, we recognized afresh that the environment of COURSE CORRECTION encompasses three distinct aspects: It’s often painful, but we must build up our children in love, and then we must make a straight and level path for them to follow. For this issue, we chose to focus on the last aspect, recognizing there’s no way we parents can create these level and straight paths on our own. We know we need the help and guidance of God’s Holy Spirit.

Debbie Guinn

HomeFront Editor-in-Chief David C Cook debbie.guinn@davidccook.com

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For this reason, our GOD’S WORD section directs us to John 15, where Jesus clearly tells us how to hear from God: We must stay connected to Him. Our STORYTELLING section relates a beautiful story from a ministry leader who relied on the help of the Holy Spirit to direct her as she created a straight path for one of her students.

And our GAME TIME section will provide hours of fun for your family as you find ways to create and stay on the right path.

We pray that this resource will remind you of the importance of making level paths for your children to follow. It will help you create an environment in your home where your children can make mistakes—and, as parents, you can gently share your ideas of how they might navigate differently should that experience arise again.

In all of this, keep in mind that you don’t have to lean on your own understanding. Lean on God—He’s walking with you, making your paths straight.

Follow us on Twitter @HFfamily for updates and encouragement as you spiritually parent your children.

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

HOW TO USE FAMILY TIME ...

FAMILY TIME

sy as a e s a It's ONE TWO THREE

1

Start by deciding on a day and time that works well for your entire family.

It can be an evening, afternoon, or morning. Just commit to building this time into your family’s natural rhythm. It’s usually best to build this time around a meal.

FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize.

Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory.

2

Look through HomeFront and see what stands out. Choose two or three experiences you would like to incorporate into your family times each week. Don’t feel burdened to complete all the activities at once, but carefully select which ones will fit your family best. This resource provides your family with more than enough experiences to create transforming environments in your home throughout the month.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

(Hebrews 12:11)

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Family Time ideas!

Remember to HAVE FUN! Strive to make each gathering unique to your own family as you enjoy spending time with God and each other.

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

May Flowers

family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

(2 Corinthians 9:6)

Supplies: Colorful cupcake liners (several per flower)

It is an honor as parents to be the first people to “plant seeds” in the lives of our children. We possess the earliest and most important voices to guide them onto a good path. Our daily prayer is that with the help of the Holy Spirit, the end result will be a vibrant walk with Jesus.

Floral wire Hot glue gun and glue sticks (for adult use) 5” paper doilies (optional)

Let these “May Flowers” remind you that God has entrusted you with sowing good seed in the hearts of your children.

by Richelle Paris

1. Poke floral wire through the first cupcake liner to create the center of your flower.

2. Fold over the tip of the wire to hold the liner in place.

3. Place a dot of hot glue on the bottom of the liner and place another liner on top.

4. Scrunch and separate the cupcake liners.

5. Add another drop of glue and repeat, adding as many layers as you’d like.

Doilies can be added last to create the outside layer of the flower.

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

Pray and Wait family time

sto ry t e l l i n g

One child in my ministry constantly demands attention from each of his teachers. He often speaks out, leaves the classroom, and even threatens the safe environment of the other children.

When I handed the blank page to the boy, he cried.

“What happened?!” he asked. I laughed and said, “Well, did you know that you can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to tell you what He wants you to do every day?”

One day the young boy’s behavior had gotten so out of control that the teachers had to take him to the “baby” room, which made him very angry. I asked him why he was upset. “I don’t want to be with the babies,” he said. “I want to be in my own classroom.”

He looked at me nervously. “I don’t know how to do that,” he confessed. I told him I would model for him what a prayer like that might look like. He decided he wanted to repeat after me. We prayed together. “Now what?” he asked. I told him to wait. “God will speak to you,” I told him confidently. Here’s where faith came in. “Please show up!” I pleaded with God.

At that moment, I realized this wasn’t about this one Sunday morning and his poor behavior. This was about lovingly walking with him through his choices and showing him a corrected path. I knew it would be my responsibility to figure out what the path would look like while he was with us at church. Would it be about correcting his behavior? Or would it be about depending on the Holy Spirit to help him every day? I chose the latter.

All of a sudden, the boy looked at me and said, “I think I have one!” He said that God told him that the first thing He wanted him to do was “participate.” What? This kid? He had been given a private corner of the room so he wouldn’t distract the others, and he never wanted to participate.

I knew this was from God because the boy never would have come up with that idea on his own. We waited again, and he listed a few more things God had told him to do that day. We prayed again, and I sent him to his classroom.

The following weekend, I sat with him the entire service, just observing him. This particular weekend we were learning how we have the same Spirit inside of us that Jesus had. We spent that morning talking together about how exciting that was.

With this in mind, I took a very different approach the next weekend. Instead of telling him to be good and what choices he should make, we prayed and asked God to help him. This boy needed to know that for the rest of his life God would help him. We did this for a few weeks in a row.

I prayed one more time and went to the adult service.

When I came back, I headed straight to his classroom. He had the biggest grin on his face. For the first time in two months, he did not have to sit in his “corner.” Instead, he sat in the middle of the room with the other kids.

Recently I felt God telling me that this boy was ready to learn something else about his relationship with the Lord.

God wanted to show this boy that He would speak to him and direct him on his path.

If I hadn’t stopped to ask God what He wanted to do in this boy’s life—something that would have an eternal impact—he would still be the same rowdy kid. Instead, as God is lovingly correcting his path, he is being transformed into the person God wants him to be.

I admit, I was a little nervous when I met with him that morning. I had previously been typing up his “Helpful Ideas” on cool paper, which we would pray over. These were ideas I came up with—ideas that would help him make good choices and get on the right path. This time, however, God was leading me to leave the page blank. He would tell the boy what he needed to do that day.

by Traci Carpenter

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

family time

g o d ’ s wo r d

Remain

Vine

in the

God is intentional about our spiritual growth— especially in giving us direction for how to stay on a path leading toward holiness and Christlike living. And one of His clearest directives for us can be found in John 15.

Growing up, I remember hearing the words of John 15 and being a little scared—and a lot overwhelmed! It sounded great in theory. But the reality of being able to love the way Jesus calls us to love proved to be much more difficult.

Before we dive into John 15, let’s ponder the topic of gardening. If you’ve ever tried to grow a plant or a tree, then you know there’s much more to it than simply planting the seed and waiting. A skilled gardener knows exactly how to take care of a growing plant. He knows how much water and sunlight it needs and the most effective place to plant the seed. And if he’s growing a fruit-bearing plant, then there’s something else he knows about: pruning.

To prune means to cut the vines and branches occasionally. This may seem like the opposite of what the gardener should do if he wants the tree to grow and bear fruit. But after a plant gets pruned, it actually grows to be healthier and produces more fruit.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.”

(John 15:1) 8

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

family time

g o d ’ s wo r d

HEAR IT As a family, read John 15:1–11.

Did you notice that Jesus used the word remain not just once but 10 times? Remain means to continue or stay. To remain in something is to live in acceptance of and obedience to that thing. The branches of a plant are connected to the vine. That means they must remain in the vine in order to survive or bear fruit.

gentleness and self-control.” If we know God and have His Spirit living inside us, He will produce in our lives the fruit Jesus commanded us to have. We don’t have to do it alone or in our own strength.

What does Jesus say will happen if we remain in Him (verses 4–5)? He says we will bear fruit. Not fruit like apples and oranges, but fruit of another kind.

But what about that pruning?

Now read John 15:12–17 together.

What commandment does Jesus give us here? He tells us to love one another the way He loves us. Think for a minute about how much Jesus loves us—so much that He gave His life for us!

Finally, read John 15:26–27.

God doesn’t expect us to do this alone or in our own strength. He’s given us His Holy Spirit to live within us and give us the strength, wisdom, and guidance to be able to follow Him. In fact, Scripture tells us that when we have the Holy Spirit in our lives, we will bear fruit— fruit of the Spirit!

Galatians 5:22–23 says “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

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DO IT Sometimes we aren’t choosing to abide in God’s Spirit. God allows us to make choices for ourselves— and sometimes we make the wrong ones. When this happens, we end up on a path that’s different from the one God wants for us. This is when He must correct our course or “prune our branches.”

Sometimes God must get our attention to help us see His path for our lives. God can do this through the Bible, other people in our lives, and even the Holy Spirit speaking to our hearts.

Today, take some time as a family to pray for each other. Pray that God would help you to see the areas in your life where you might need “pruning.”

Pray that you would stay connected to His vine so you can bear His fruit and show the world the love that only He can give.

by Matt Barnes

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

family time

p r ay e r

Peruvian Prayers This month’s GLOBAL section (page 17) focuses on Peru, a beautiful South American country that rests against the Pacific Ocean.

Peruvians embody a rich heritage of culture, food, dance, and spirituality.

Even so, Peru is considered a developing country. A developing country could best be described as a country with a relatively low per capita income, a country where most people have a lower standard of living with access to fewer goods and services than most people in developed countries have.

Peru exports a great deal of cotton and textiles. Because of this, and because of a great need for jobs, the ministry Krochet Kids International has opened its second factory in Peru. At Krochet Kids, women receive training and jobs in making and creating colorful and warm hats and beanies to sell around the world. The proceeds from these sales help benefit neighborhoods and families in need, providing them both income and dignity.

Missionaries and other workers

PHOTO CREDIT: CHANY CRYSTAL

for this organization and the people it touches. Pray for the workers there. Also pray together as a family for the government of Peru. Pray that government officials will turn toward the wisdom of God and that the peace of Christ will fill this wonderful place.

have given their lives, energy, and passion to work alongside the intelligent, generous people of Peru, and you can play a part.

This month, pray for the missionaries serving in Peru.

Learn more about Krochet Kids and the amazing work that’s happening in Peru (www. krochetkids.org). Then pray

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Finally, pray that the people of Peru will sense God’s love in greater and greater ways.

by Justin Fox

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

Stepping Stone Path family time

t r a d i t i o n s & c r e at e

Every year my husband works with our kids to create a special stepping stone for our garden path. The stones vary a bit from year to year, but they always include a handprint from each child.

When our children were younger, their little handprints would fit together on one stone. That’s not the case today, so they each work on one piece of the path.

Though my husband guides the kids through this process, each one chooses his own mosaic tiles and accessories to personalize his stone. Every year I look forward to seeing how these stones will turn out, but my favorite part of receiving them is what happens after they’re presented.

Once the kids have had some time to show off their handiwork, we move to the garden, where we add the stones to the growing path. Placing the new stones gives us an opportunity to reflect on the previous years. As a family, we talk about the ups and downs of each year, pausing to celebrate special moments such as siblings being born or starting school for the first time. We also talk about how God was active in guiding each of our lives during difficult seasons.

PHOTO CREDIT: BJØRN GIESENBAUER

This month, consider beginning a new tradition by creating the first stone (or stones) for your own family garden path. You can purchase a kit at your local craft store or get creative by choosing your own molds and decorative embellishments.

What You’ll Need: cement mixture

To create your stone, mix the cement according to the instructions on the package, being careful not to add too much water so that the cement stays thick.

p lastic molds (or consider using an old bucket, pizza box, or other repurposed item in whatever shape you want to create)

Before mixing cement, be sure to read and follow all safety instructions.

i tems to decorate the stones (marbles, glass beads, mosaic tiles, etc.)

our the cement into your mold. The cement should P be at least two inches deep.

Press handprints or footprints into the cement. ress embellishments into the concrete, being sure P to push them deep enough that they’ll stay anchored once the cement dries.

Create and pass down new traditions by engaging your family in a collaborative response to hearing God’s truth.

llow your stone to stand for at least 24 hours before A removing it from the mold.

As you create, be sure to talk about each family member’s path with God—pausing to celebrate the good and to reflect on the areas where course correction might be needed.

by Alyson Crockett

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

family time

game time

Hot Lava Crossing OLDER

by Kit Rae

Gather your family and play a fun game called Hot Lava Crossing. Using 54 SHEETS OF PAPER, index cards, or sticky notes, create a rectangular pattern on the ground, six sheets across and nine sheets deep. Make sure each piece of paper or index card isn’t more than a step away from the next one. (You’ll need to step from one piece of paper to another to get across the “hot lava.”)

Choose one person in your family to be the “Keeper of the Path,” and divide the rest of your family into two equal teams. Using the MAPS PROVIDED AT THE END OF THIS ISSUE and a pencil or pen, have the Keeper of the Path create a pathway to safety by choosing which stones the players are allowed to step on.

The path must lead from the starting point on one side to safety on the other side of the lava. Be sure the Keeper of the Path keeps his path a secret, as it will be the key to getting across the lava.

Conga Line YOUNGER

Explain to your family that the object of the game will be to work together as a team to cross the hot lava by only stepping on the correct “stones.” When a team member steps on an incorrect stone or goes in the wrong direction, she will have to start over. Be sure to alternate teams and players, as only one person is allowed on the stones at a time.

by Debbie Guinn

A conga line is a march in which several dancers form a line and move along a path together. To dance the conga, just take three shuffle steps and kick!

To start your own fun conga line, first select the right music—a fun, upbeat song. Then choose a parent to lead the line, and have the rest of the family line up behind him. Connect the line by having each family member place his hands on the shoulders or waist of the person in front of him.

Feel free to play this game as many times as you want, allowing multiple people to be the Keeper of the Path.

Get creative, and feel free to add little twists to the path, such as designating spots that require you to hop on one foot, do the chicken dance, etc. Work together, and have a blast!

Once the music begins, in a four-count pattern begin to shuffle your feet—shuffle on steps one, two, and three; then kick your foot to the side on count four. The parent leading can roll his arms in front of his chest and then toss one arm to the side when he kicks. The leader can take the line on any path he wants.

Have fun, and encourage other family members to take turns leading the conga line and creating their own paths.

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

family time

wo r s h i p

Celebrating God COURSE CORRECTION and celebration—the two don’t seem to go hand in hand. The gospel, however, has a tendency to defy our natural instincts and to push us in a direction that seems counterintuitive. This same gospel shows celebration to be an integral part of the redemptive process.

So what do we have to celebrate in terms of COURSE CORRECTION? We celebrate that God isn’t just trying to correct a broken action but also a broken heart. Though we strive for the best and are often disappointed when we fail, God isn’t surprised by our failures. He uses them to further glorify Himself. Because of this, we know that God is constantly bringing us back to Him and molding our hearts to be more like His. We’re also given the hope that we don’t have to be crushed by our shortcomings.

We’re assured that our loving Father is correcting our path and gently forming us into the people He wants us to be.

As your family’s act of worship this month, come together and celebrate the God who brings you back to Himself. This celebration will look different for each family. If your family likes ice cream, go get ice cream. If your family enjoys the park, go to the park. If your family likes music, create tambourines and make a joyous noise to the Lord.

Whatever you do, just be sure that Jesus is the center of your celebration and that you take time to thank Him for making level paths for you to follow.

by Joel Stanton

We often think of worship as singing, but we can worship God in many different ways.

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

Corrected Course Trail Mix family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

Making a level path for our children simply means guiding them in the right direction. It’s stopping to help them recognize they may have been heading the wrong way and giving them directions to get on the corrected course.

This month, each family member will create his own variety of trail mix. You can pack the different mixes in their lunches with a note to remind them to follow God’s path toward living like Jesus.

by Amanda Hunt

Prep time: 15 min. Yields: 1 jar per family member

INGREDIENT SUGGESTIONS: • Nuts (peanuts, almonds, walnuts, or cashews) • Seeds (sunflower or pumpkin) • Dried fruit (apricots, cranberries, raisins, blueberries, coconut, etc.)

• Pretzel sticks • Rice crackers • Cheese crackers • Dry cereal • Chocolate, peanut butter, or butterscotch chips

DIRECTIONS: 1. Set out the ingredients on the kitchen counter or dining room table.

2. Give each person a jar or container, setting aside the lids for now.

• Additional snacks liked by your family

3. Allow each family member to create her own trail mix by pouring her favorite ingredients into her jar. Make sure she leaves a few inches of space at the top.

SUPPLIES:

4. Let each person attach his lid and gently shake his jar to mix the ingredients together.

• Yogurt-covered raisins

• 1 canning jar or plastic container for each family member • Ribbon or twine • Tags

5. Attach a tag with each person’s name to each person’s jar.

6. Parents: Write a note on the back of a tag or an index card and attach it to a small plastic bag. Fill the bag with your child’s trail mix and pack it in his lunch.

• Markers 14

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

Healing Hearts

family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n

At the heart of COURSE CORRECTION is healing.

While making these Healing Hearts, take some time to talk to your children about their day. Try to get to the “heart” of any problems they may have encountered that day. Use this time to guide them on how they can handle that problem. Encourage them by telling them how much you love them. Remind them that God loves them too, even when they sin (He doesn’t love the sin, but He loves them). After you’ve made your Healing Hearts, pray and thank God for offering us a path of healing.

by Carrie Rowe

swe

et savo

ry

DIRECTIONS: 1. R emove the piecrust from the refrigerator and bring to room temperature (approximately 30 minutes).

2. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.

3. Line the cookie sheet with parchment paper.

4. Unroll the softened piecrust.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED: R efrigerated piecrust (or thawed frozen piecrust)

5. Using the cookie cutter, cut as many hearts as possible from the dough and place them on the cookie sheet.

Cooking spray

6. Lightly spray the hearts with cooking spray.

Heart-shaped cookie cutter

7. Sprinkle the toppings over each heart and gently press them into the dough.

8. Bake the hearts for approximately six minutes or until golden brown.

9. Remove from the baking sheet and let cool for five minutes.

You can choose to make your Healing Hearts savory or sweet, or maybe even both: SWEET: colored sugar or chocolate syrup

10. Enjoy these tasty treats by themselves or serve them with other foods. Savory hearts go well with spaghetti or soups, and the sweet hearts taste great when dipped in yogurt or served with ice cream.

SAVORY: Parmesan cheese or Italian seasoning for an easy metric conversion chart, search the internet for “metric kitchen.”

Kids in the Kitchen features simple, kid-friendly recipes that encourage families to spend time together while creating yummy treats.

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

Chew and Chat

family time

co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

by Debbie Guinn

Take some of the Corrected Course Trail Mix and create a path or trail on your table during mealtime. Then tell your family you’re all going to play a counting game.

• Begin with your oldest child.

• Starting with the number one, go around the table, having each person say the next number.

• When someone gets to an even number, he must say, “Chew.”

• For example: “One, chew; three, chew; five, chew … ” • Anyone who misses saying “Chew” (or says an incorrect number) must take a piece of the trail mix and eat it.

• Start the game over, beginning with the next person on the right.

• Keep playing until your path disappears!

get your children talking ...

Discuss together that in life we might mess up, but God always gives us the opportunity to start over and get on the corrected path.

one, chew; three, chew; five, chew …

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COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

family time

g lo b a l

Where in the World Is ...

PERU

Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mindset in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods.

COLUMBIA ECUADOR

PERU N W

E S

eru, located in South America, covers P approximately 496,226 square miles. It’s bordered by Colombia and Ecuador on the north, Chile on the south, the Pacific Ocean on the west, and Brazil and Bolivia on the east.

BRAZIL

PACIFIC OCEAN

BOLIVIA

POPULATION:

NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF PERU, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.

23,000,000

LANGUAGES:

Spanish and Quechua

RELIGION:

92.5% Catholic 4.5% Evangelical Christian

Twenty-three million people call Peru their home.

If you lived in Peru, you would eat a lot of potatoes, rice, beans, and fish. You might also eat something called a plantain, which looks like a banana but isn’t sweet. Many Peruvian people also eat wild game such as boar, pigs, monkeys, and deer.

DID YOU KNOW? • Peru is home to the pink dolphin, giant river otters, and more than 4,000 species of butterflies.

• In Peru’s capital, Lima, there is a large brass statue dedicated to Winnie the Pooh.

Most religious people in Peru attend Roman Catholic churches.

TO GREET SOMEONE IN SPANISH, YOU WOULD SAY TO TALK WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN PERU, YOU WOULD SPEAK SPANISH OR QUECHUA, A NATIVE AMERICAN LANGUAGE.

“HOLA”

(pronounced OH-LA) TO GREET SOMEONE IN QUECHUA, YOU WOULD SAY

“RIMAYKULLAYKI”

(pronounced REE-MAI-KOO-LYAI-KEE)

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family time

blessing

THE RIGHTEOUS PATH As your children are blessed, tell them that they have the opportunity to also be a blessing to others. Encourage them to freely give away to others the joy and love they have received from God.

BLESS As your child begins her day, help her set out on the righteous path by speaking one of the following blessings over her. Choose a new blessing each week of this month.

by Amanda Hunt

Week 1 May the Lord set your feet on a rock and give you a firm place to stand. (based on Psalm 40:2)

Week 2 May the Lord keep your feet from slipping off of the path He has for you. (based on Psalm 66:9)

Week 3 May the Lord delight in your ways and keep your steps firm. (based on Psalm 37:23)

Week 4 May you live by the Spirit and keep in step with the Spirit. (based on Galatians 5:25)

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INSPIRE Parenting stories and devotions to spur you on and motivate you as you spiritually parent your children.

EQUIP Resources to prepare you as you navigate through tough ages and tough topics.

SUPPORT Walking alongside you to promote healthy marriages and answer your spiritual parenting and spiritual grandparenting questions.

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inspire

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

(Proverbs 3:6)

by Dawn Heckert

t h e e v e ry day pa r e n t

M

y parenting often waffles between sailing smooth waters to off-roading in the deepest ruts. It’s difficult to see my children get off track in their relationships with siblings, friends, teachers, and yes, even us. It hurts when we fall out of step with those we trust and love. And if we’re left in that broken relational place, the pain can grow deeper emotionally and lead to greater behavioral pains.

As a parent, when these moments of off-roading occur, I love to pull out examples from Scripture of people who got off track—Adam and Eve, Abraham, Naomi, Paul, and many more. Their stories reflect broken relationships with God and others, but in each case God demonstrates a parental love that builds up His lost children and sets them back onto a path that offers both healing as well as hope and purpose.

May we, as parents, recognize when our children have gotten off course and purposefully place them back onto a path that points to God’s wisdom, love, and healing.

Changing Courses

I imagine that Jesus might have viewed me with these same eyes when I was in my 20s—lost in a lifestyle of partying and pretending. After having a few drinks too many, I remember wandering home, not really knowing where I was. I was afraid and alone, and, at that point, something deep inside awakened to the reality that I was also lost from my true life with God. So I made a decision to change courses and move in with a friend who loved and followed God.

by Amy Palmerton In a crowded museum I saw her darting eyes, her little fingers shoved in her mouth. She was wandering in circles. Slowly, I approached her: “Sweetie, are you lost?”

She nodded, eyes wide, and inched closer to me. After I found an employee who took her to the front desk, I still followed and smiled reassuringly at this precious child until her mother found her.

While I was back on the path of seeking God, Jesus was with me. He prompted me to call people for prayer, gave me greater wisdom about friendships, and eventually led me back to the place where I lived an authentic life with Him. However far we might wander away from God in this life, Jesus always watches us and guides us safely back to Him. He will always help us on the corrected path.

I’m sure that I’m not the only mother whose radar picks up on the particular fear that appears in a child’s eyes when she’s separated from her parents. Some instinct makes us want to see a lost child and a parent reunited. Conversely, when our own children become lost, we pray that a kind stranger will bring them quickly and safely back to us.

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equip

tot t i m e ( ag e s 3 & u n d e r )

Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re attempting to teach your children, use repetition! lie down

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

g the roa lon

d

at home sit

a

get up

(Deuteronomy 6:6–7)

along the road

While driving this month, sing this rhyme with your children to the tune of “This Old Man.”

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equip

to u g h to p i c s

Divorce

We build trust when we answer our kids’ questions before they have to ask. While divorce may be a familiar concept, it’s important to talk to our kids about it and let them know God’s heart on the matter.

The Bible says that marriage is a covenant and mentions adultery as grounds for divorce (Matthew 5:31–32). If your kids are too little to understand unfaithfulness, you can explain that when two people marry, they make promises to each other. If someone breaks those promises, the love and trust that held the marriage together becomes broken too.

It’s also a good time to share that “the Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made” (Psalm 145:13b). God never breaks His promises, and He never backs out of His love. Marriage is meant to imitate this kind of commitment, but we’re humans who fall short of God’s perfection. His love is perfect; kids can count on it to heal sad, angry, disappointed, or lonely feelings that come from a divorce. Talk to your kids about sharing their emotions with God and how they can pray for a hurting classmate, friend, or relative.

Encourage your kids to memorize this verse, whether for themselves or to share with a friend who needs the security of an un-shifting home with God: “He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart” (Isaiah 40:11).

equip

The Heart of the Matter the middle (6 t h

Middle school can be a confusing and challenging time in your child’s life. The years of being a little kid are suddenly gone, and middle schoolers find themselves in a more mature world that feels both demanding and unknown. Conflicting emotions and pressure to fit in causes children who have historically made good choices to act out or make choices that seem out of character. Many parents go to extremes—either not initiating an opportunity for correction at all by allowing all sorts of bad behavior or by forcing correction by trying to exert total control through strict rules and harsh punishment. Healthy course correction finds a middle ground and helps get to the heart of the behavior rather than only focusing on the outward signs of the bad behavior itself.

While leading a counseling ministry for students, I began to see how effective healthy course correction played out. Some students were brought by parents who had seen a change in their middle schooler’s behavior

to

8 t h GRADE)

and didn’t know where else to turn. These students were often resistant at first, but as the adults in their life loved them and continued to provide avenues and opportunities for change, their hearts would soften. They would begin to see that a deeper pain, a desire, or even a disbelief in God’s design for them caused their behavior. In dealing with the source of their pain, they found healing in the grace of God. They were able to stop the destructive behaviors that had brought them there in the first place.

Although it can be difficult and challenging, course correction is an important part of developing a healthy understanding of repentance (changing from a direction of sin and moving in a new direction toward Jesus). Without a healthy understanding of repentance, we all risk the danger of becoming self-righteous and missing the blessings of God’s design for our lives. When we understand that sin takes us off the course 22

of God’s design, we will be confident in the necessity of course correction for our children.

As Hebrews 12:11 tells us, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace.”

If your middle schooler is struggling with sin and acting out, here are some ways to initiate healthy course correction in your home:

• Have your child keep a journal to unpack the reasons she is struggling in a particular area.

• Take your child out on a regular monthly “date” to connect and discuss her life and goals.

• Share your story of being a middle schooler and the way Jesus impacted your life.

• If your child isn’t willing to talk to you, consider finding a pastor or Christian counselor to meet with her.

by Rick Crockett

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

support

m a r r i ag e

God disciplines us for our good, to help us walk in righteousness and peace. He wants us to walk in a path of healing.

But sometimes we forget that discipline isn’t just for children. Sometimes we need to make space in our marriages to hear from God and make any necessary course corrections.

As a pastoral counselor, I always recommend that couples identify areas in their marriages in which they’re struggling or would like to improve. I ask them to begin by praying and asking God to show them what they can specifically do to improve those areas.

Don't Give Up

by Roger Tirabassi

My wife Becky and I have sat together and shared our ideas too, and we’ve seen marked improvement in several areas.

It took an intentional decision to sit together and listen with empathy to each other. After listening, without defending or making excuses, we were able to brainstorm solutions that felt mutually satisfying. We agreed to try our new ideas for a month.

After a month, we would reevaluate to determine whether or not our ideas were working. If our ideas weren’t satisfying to both of us, we would go back to praying and

Ask the Lord to show you what you might be able to do to make your marriage better.

seeking advice from others. We have worked this way for most of our three decades of marriage. We’ve needed several “course corrections,” but God has been faithful to help us whenever we took the time to intentionally give Him that time to speak into our lives.

Ask your spouse if he or she would be willing to pray about an area in which you would both like to see growth. Then ask the Lord to show you what you might be able to

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do to improve that area. Listen to each other without defending your own position. Be empathetic. Brainstorm ideas that would be mutually satisfying. Try them for 30 days and evaluate the results. If you’re not satisfied after 30 days, be open to meet with a pastor, mentor couple, or counselor. Don’t give up— our marriages need course correction just like anything else in life!

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

support

s p i r i t ua l pa r e n t i n g

Inbox with Michelle Anthony

Q: A:

H ow early does course correction start?

C ourse correction is a way of “thinking” as much as “doing.” If we think, “Just stop this bad behavior now,” we are not thinking in the environment of COURSE CORRECTION. If we think, “How can I model God as heavenly Father to my child in this situation?” then we are understanding the heart behind this environment.

Course correction begins as soon as any discipline begins. When our children are little, our parenting is very aligned with moral formation and behavior modification. But as our children grow, we must have eyes to see that we are helping shape their understanding of God and life. We move to more of a spiritual formation model where the heart is considered and eternal perspectives are more important than just getting through a difficult moment. This transition begins in early childhood and is cued by a child who begins to understand motives, feelings, and the reality of God Himself.

Ask God to give you wisdom as to when and how to transition with the child God has entrusted to you.

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Q: A:

This is a great question and often a misperception of course correction. The first step in course correction is pain. If we only enforced pain without the other two steps (building up in love and a corrected path of action), then this would be punishment. The first step in course correction is the consequence for the behavior or action.

It doesn’t just stop there; it continues with the hope that God will bring healing through acts of love and direction.

Q: A:

If there is no room for punishment in this environment, where do consequences come into play with course correction?

A re moments of healing in this environment immediately noticeable, or does it take time to see that healing has taken place?

T he answer to this question is definitely something that is case-by-case and child-by-child, but in general, healing is something that happens over time through loving reinforcement and God’s Spirit. Often we can become weary in our endeavors of course correction when we don’t see immediate results. Yet in our spiritual lives God calls us to not grow weary in well doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest (Galatians 6:9). I think the same thing applies for us in child rearing. This is where we need to trust God’s Spirit to do His work when and as He chooses, remain consistent in our parenting, and continue in prayer. There will be times when victory comes in a few months of tenacity, but there may be times when complete healing may even take decades. We must set our eyes on the long goal of transformation even when it seems that we aren’t making the progress that we hoped for.

COURSE CORRECTION | HomeFrontMag.com

support

s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g

Grandfamilies

The statistics are startling. In the United States alone, more than six million children are living in the homes of their grandparents. More than two and a half million of these children are being raised by grandparents with no parents present in the home. And this number has more than doubled in the past 10 years. These grandparents provide a crucial safety net, allowing children whose parents cannot care for them to remain with family.

This isn't something that just happens to a particular social class or race. It can happen because of divorce, unemployment, neglect, teenage pregnancy, the death of the parents, incarceration, abuse, alcohol or drug usage, or abandonment.

There is also a growing trend in grandparents who provide full-time daycare for their grandchildren while their parents work. In fact, 30 percent of preschoolers with working moms receive care from a grandparent. A recent study states that almost half of all grandparents routinely provide some type of childcare for their grandchildren.

It may seem that these statistics would present many challenges when it comes to the environment of COURSE CORRECTION, but nothing could be further from the truth. Because this environment is about healing and restoration, grandparents have the benefit of hindsight as they guide their grandchildren on the right path. Parenting grandparents must make difficult decisions on creating boundaries with their own children so that their grandchildren have an opportunity to heal and grow. They can use the wisdom that comes from past experiences to bring their grandchildren from pain to healing.

If you are a parenting grandparent, you will no doubt have to enforce consequences for bad behavior or poor choices. However, living in this environment isn’t just about discipline—it’s bigger than that. It’s deeper. It’s about lovingly healing a heart that has veered in the wrong direction. It’s not a reaction to bad behavior; it’s much more intentional.

Often these children already have experienced great pain over the loss or lack of attention by their parents.

As a grandparent, your role is simply to reinforce steps two and three of the environment of COURSE CORRECTION by building them up in love and guiding and directing them to the path God has for them. He will take it from there!

by Debbie Guinn Statistics gleaned from AARP Grandfacts.

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10 ENVIRONMENTS Below you'll find a brief explanation of each environment.

1. Storytelling—The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective of how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for His glory.

“God has a big story, and I can be a part of it!”

2. Identity—This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter identities the world will offer.

“I belong to God, and He loves me!”

3. Faith Community—God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God. “God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

4. Serving—This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christ followers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

5. Out Of The Comfort Zone—As children are challenged to step out of their comfort zones from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

6. Responsibility—This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost. Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

7. Course Correction—This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

SPIRITUAL PARENTING:

An Awakening for Today’s Families 8. Love/Respect—Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Key to this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them, not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

BY MICHELLE ANTHONY © 2010 DAVID C COOK

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

9. Knowing—Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that denies absolute truth, but God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, believing His Word, and cultivating a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

“God knows me, and I can know Him.” 10. Modeling—Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a hands-on example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

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HOT LAVA CROSSING MAPS (pg. 12) Have the Path Keeper create a path to safety by choosing which stones the players can step on.

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