Honest Names For Nursing Homes End O' Life Residence Almost Heaven Homes Deathview Villas Reaching The End Estates Abandoned Here Manor A senior living facility called "Symphony Square " recently opened up in my neighborhood. It doesn't have a symphony. Nor is it square. So what's with the name? I'm guessing that a consultant was paid big bucks to come up with that enticing moniker. Perhaps the same outfit that named similar local facilities "The Quadrangle" and "Sunrise at Haverford." Geezer Glen Altacocker Acres Polyp Place Ferklempt Estates Coronary Chateau https://www.huffingtonpost.com/roz-warren/honest-names-for-nursing_b_7674868.html Actually, neither. My plan is to age in place till I'm 100, then get hit by a bus. Wish Me Luck! Would I rather spend my final days wandering around Symphony Square in search of that elusive, nonexistent orchestra? Or https://medium.com/@wellbeingcare1 settle in at The Happy Ending Center for Fully Insured Seniors? Bedpan Alley Catheter Flats Please Cut My Toenails Place Severely Diminished Quality of Life Estates Thanks A Lot, Kids! Villas Appealing, sure, but truthful? Not particularly. So, as a public service, I've brainstormed a few nursing home names that are more to the point. If you're thinking of opening an assisted living facility, feel free to call it: (Roz Warren is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR. )
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