From:
<ksuliana@zohomail.eu>To: carlos
Date: February 17, 2023, 8:35 AM
Hello Carlos.
I am delighted to continue getting to know each other. My name is Uliana. I want to talk about myself and ask you some questions.
I am from Kazakhstan. I am 39-years-old. I have no children and I have never been married. I had a bad relationship experience in my country. So, I want to try to find a man in another place. I don't see any problem because we live in a modern world where planes fly every day.
I have some questions for you. You are looking for a serious relationship? Do you have a partner now?
What do you know about my country? Maybe you have Kazakh friends? Have you met Eastern European women before?
I apologize for my questions. I am looking for a serious relationship. I'm not looking for games. I hope our preferences match.
I can share my kindness, sense of humor and support with my future partner. I will wait for your answer and photos. I would love to keep in touch with you.
Have a good day.
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: February 17, 2023, 4:45 PM
Hi Uliana,
Many thanks for your email. I am pleased to know you and delighted that you have got in touch with me.
You sound like a lovely and interesting person.
Can I ask why you are looking for potential romantic partner in Spain and why you have chosen me in particular?
Honourably yours,
Josito Rodolfus Esplanade IIIFrom: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: February 18, 2023, 1:44 PM
Hello
I am very pleased that you have not forgotten about me. I am glad to receive your new letter. I am pleased to feel your attention to me and your interest.
I want our communication with you to become more interesting. I ask you not to be afraid to ask questions. With great joy I will tell you about myself.
I am a woman who is looking for a kind, caring and understanding man. Together with such a man, I would like to create a new relationship based on love, mutual respect, and trust.
In my free time, I like to be outdoors and do sports. I work as an economist, my education is a Bachelor's degree in Economics. Now I work in Russia in the city of Astrakhan, on weekends I go to my relatives in Kazakhstan. I live on the border of two countries.
I don't want to look for a man in Russia and Kazakhstan, because I don't like how they treat women. I chose you because you seemed to me a calm, adequate and serious man.
I chose your country to seek love on the advice of my friend. She was in Spain recently and she got the impression that there are very friendly and well-mannered men there. Yes, we live in different countries, but we live in a modern world where distance is not a problem.
Perhaps we could start with you sending me some photos of you so that I can know what you look like.
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: February 18, 2023, 4:45 PM
Hello Uliana,
Thank you for your message, which I just picked up this morning. Your message resonated a lot with me because I, too, am looking for a stable and long-lasting relationship, and with your beauty and erotic physique, it sounds like you might be just the ticket.
Would it be your intention to come and live in Spain? I appreciate that this suggestion may be premature, but a love like ours doesn't happen every day, and we must seize these opportunities when they present themselves.
I could show you a very comfortable life, compared with what you are used to in Kazakhstan. My uncle has a lot of money hidden in the dried carcass of a pig, that he keeps hidden under the floorboards.
I can steal it when he becomes unconscious after drinking the illegal concoction of boars’ faeces that he distills in his toilet and buy your plane ticket. All you have to do is tip me the wink.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Honorably yours,
Chicaritto Pronto Fandango IV From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>To: carlos
Date: February 19, 2023, 9:36 AM
Hello
I could meet you without a problem. I think it's a good idea. If we get to know each other well, then I can visit you during my vacation!
But I was hoping you'd send me a photo too. I send you my photos and today's video. :-)
Language is not a problem. My mother was a foreign language teacher. She helped me learn English. We practiced grammar and speech. Do you understand my letter well? I want us to understand each other completely. This is my first experience with a foreigner. By the way, have you met Eastern European women before?
We build walls in front of ourselves. I have no desire to build walls between us. I have a desire to build bridges. I want our letters to become bridges that will connect us. I hope you support my wish.
You seem like an interesting man to me. I would like to know more about you and your life. What function do you perform at work? Do you like your job? Does your job correspond to your education? What time do you start and finish work? What are your hobbies? Do you smoke? Do you drink alcohol?
I will be waiting for your new letters. I hope you will answer me soon.
Have a nice day!
UlianaFrom: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: February 22, 2023, 5:25 PM
Hello Uliana,
I must say it is flattering and refreshing to be told by such a beautiful and educated woman that I am an interesting man. Which indeed I am.
Unfortunately, the opinion of my ex-wife, Juanita-Anunciata Griselda de Fornicata, was somewhat less flattering. She spent the duration of our marriage representing me to strangers in quite detestable terms.
There is not an equivalent phrase in other languages, but a close approximation of how she described me is as a “lazy and simple-minded fly, who loafs on a mound of soft faeces”.
I am very impressed at your qualifications and your work as an economist. You clearly have brains as well as beauty.
I work at a slaughterhouse for pigs, where I have a special responsibility for removing and harvesting bladders, rectums, and genitalia.
It is dirty work but, once a month, they allow us to take home a bag of organs for our personal use.
I would love to meet you and show you around my village. When do you think you'd be able to travel to Spain?
Honourably yours,
Pepito Salvatore Afficionado IIIFrom: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: February 23, 2023, 8:14 AM
Hello
I am glad to receive your letter. I've been waiting for your news. I am very pleased to receive your answer.
I'm opening your letter like an impatient little girl!
I am very happy and have a big smile... I am overwhelmed with joy!
I understand that you are doing a useful job. Your work helps to get pure pork meat!
I like to cook pork, especially baked with vegetables. I like my job. I work as an economist at a factory for the production of window systems.
I send you a photo from my work and invite you for a cup of coffee do you accept my invitation? I analyse sales figures and the situation on the window market. Then I generate reports for management.
I have two days off a week. My work schedule 9:00 – 18:00 with a lunch break. I am hardworking.
Work has helped me get away from the disappointment after my past relationships. I will be waiting for your story about you maybe photos to have a better idea of your face. Please send me photos of you urgently.
Uliana From: carlosTo: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: February 27, 2023, 4:04 PM
Hello Uliana,
Thank you for your email. I am also looking for a stable and lasting relationship so that we can be a perfect couple.
I would like you to come to Spain to see my village so that you can decide if you want to live here with me. Soon we will have a festival that I think you will enjoy.
Every year at this time, we stuff a dog inside the rear-end of a pig and then we stuff the pig inside the rear-end of a cow. At that time, the cow is in a lot of pain, but before it dies, we throw it from a tall building.
This is a very famous and revered festival, dear to our people. We call it the Three Animal Sadism Day.
I spoke with the mayor of our village, and he very kindly agreed to let you throw the cow from the building. This is a great honor that I hope will convey to you the affection with which I have for you.
Please say yes to my offer. I look forward to hearing from you, my dear little piglet.
Honorably yours,
Aurelio Armadillo Incommunicado IXFrom:
<ksuliana@zohomail.eu>To: carlos
Date: February 28, 2023, 3:14 PM
Hello
Now I realized that I am ready for a new relationship. I want to be a loved and happy woman.
I want warmth and attention. I'm like a gin lamp, I like to feel the touch =) I like closeness, hugs and warmth. I want to break this loneliness and I want to move forward to a new future. I want to meet a kind, faithful and caring man to grow old together. I hope you understand me.
What are your hobbies? Do you smoke? Are you drinking? I don't smoke, I don't drink. I have a healthy lifestyle. I only drink wine or champagne on holidays. I prefer a healthy diet.
I like sports. I love cycling and running in the summer. I try to keep fit. Now I attend stretching classes 3 times a week.
This winter I was in the Caucasus mountains in Russia and I tried downhill skiing for the first time. I got a lot of pleasure from this sport!
I am sending you a video of my attempt when I was able to stand on skis for more than 5 seconds
I would really like to hear your voice. I am sending you my phone number +79378298712. Can you leave me your phone number? You can call me tonight if you want. I'll be waiting for your call.
I will be waiting for your new letter and your reply. And make sure you send me the photos of you.
Have a nice day
UlianaFrom: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 04, 2023, 10:38 AM
Hello Uliana,
Many thanks for your email and the accompanying pictures of your partially clothed physique, which I opened in the bathroom like an excited 15-year-old boy with an erection.
After I had cleaned myself up and flushed away the evidence, I pondered on how it illbehoves a goddess of your svelte proportions to be holed-up in a Russian backwater, lonely and troubled, like an unmolested gin-lamp (I didn't quite follow that analogy, but never mind) where your beauty is crushed and hidden.
You asked about my hobbies and if I drink and smoke. My main hobbies are drinking and smoking but I also enjoy donkey baiting, pig chasing and the shooting of cats with ball bearings from a catapult.
I have lived alone since the diseased whore, Juanita Anunciata Griselda de Fornicata, ran off with the bastard taxi driver, who is known as Roberto the Rapist and whose mother, it is said, has parted her vaginal curtains for every pig hand in Pueblo dos Simplones, at one time or another.
We have a saying in my village that “the stone that is swallowed along with the olive, comes out of the same arsehole”.
I look forward to receiving more loving words from you, my beloved virgin swine.
Honourably yours,
Alejandro Incognito Embargo II From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>To: carlos
Date: March 05, 2023, 11:46 AM
Hello
I finally have free time. I am writing you a letter. I'm glad you responded! I am very tired of loneliness, so I am looking for a good man for a serious relationship.
By the way, you are the first foreigner I have come into contact with. Congratulations for YOU!!! Maybe I am also the first woman from another country that you met on the Internet? Or do you have friends in Kazakhstan or in Russia? What do you know about Kazakhstan? Do you like the women here?
Do you live alone? Can you tell me more about your family? do you have a good relationship with your family? how often do you spend time with your family?
I really want to get to know you better. I would like you to tell me more about yourself... I like going to the gym and I love camping outdoors. In my free time, I spend with friends.
I will send you some photos. I hope to see your photos in the next message too. :-) I will wait for your answer. :-)
I am waiting for your letter. I look forward to seeing your new photo. I send you my photo. Please send me yours.
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 09, 2023, 4:26 PM
Hello Uliana,
I'm afraid I don't go to the gym much. I live in a small town where there is no gym. We get our exercise by chasing cows into the sea and throwing dogs from bridges. I like to eat the unfashionable parts of animals. What to you like to eat, my cherished farmyard animal?
Honourably yours,
Diego Siesta Marijuana VI
From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: March 10, 2023, 8:46 AM
Hello Now I want to send you a picture of my breakfast today ;-). I promised I would send it to you.
I don't know what you eat in the morning. but I hope you like the omelet too. I can cook it fast and delicious; -)
Do you think your morning would be more pleasant after a breakfast like this? Or breakfast does not affect your mood for the day? ;-) Now I have to go to training, I'll write to you later.....
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 12, 2023, 1:14 PM
My dearest Uliana,
Many thanks for the photo of your breakfast. Do you always place your breakfast plate on a bed of pistachios before photographing it? I had pork for breakfast, as I do every morning.
I will try to find some photographs of myself although there are not many in existence. People refuse to photograph me because, they say, I have the appearance of a bull’s face when it is ejaculating.
The only photograph I have to hand was taken by the photographer at the prosecutor’s office after I was accused of stealing my neighbor's pig and having relations with it.
Of course, this was a fabrication. I never stole it. It got into my yard and, as I said in my defense, I have the right to do as I please on my own land.
Unfortunately, the judge did not agree and sentenced me to 30 days in the Pueblo dos Simplones Penitentiary where you are forced to make toilet movements in your own hat, due to the lack of sanitary facilities.
Honourably yours, Santiago Tornado Mosquito VIII
From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: March 15, 2023, 3:35 PM
Good morning!
I'm sorry to wait. but you didn't reply me right away. And I thought you didn't want to talk to me.
I got upset and didn't check your email. I just checked now. and I can say that I have a smile of happiness; -)
I read about your situation with your neighbor and his pig. In life there are black and white stripes.
And if now there is a black strip, then it is logical that soon you will have a white strip in your life. Anyone is doomed to be happy.
I realize that you are far from me now, and for example, today we cannot have a cup of coffee together. I notice you have not sent me photos. I need them to remind me of you so please send photos.
You ask me to visit Spain to see if I will like it. I have already visited that country. That was almost 15 years ago... Yes. I had this trip to practice with other students from the University. And I speak Spanish without problems. I believe that Spanish is the most beautiful and romantic language in the world.
It has a special charm and it sounds great!!! therefore, when I decided which language I would study, of course, I chose Spanish... then I dreamed of visiting Spain, and here I visited it once.
And now that I have decided to meet a man for a relationship, I have decided to try to meet a Spanish man. because I think that Spanish men are the most romantic, brave and hot in the world!
Therefore, we should not worry about the distance between us. You and I live in a modern world. And we can meet if we have compatible characters and mutual attraction between us.
Please remember to send me photos of you in your reply.
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 17, 2023, 2:45 PM
Hello Uliana
Thank you very much for your recent communication. As I understand it, you said that my neighbour's pig has black and white stripes.
No, that is not the case. It is pink with, perhaps, some gray spots, but nonetheless a very attractive looking animal. An animal with black and white stripes is a zebra.
I wouldn't rule out trying my chances with such an animal but, as I'm sure you know, security at the zoo is very strict.
Spanish is indeed a beautiful language though in my village we speak a dialect which is not so pretty. It is famous in Spain for its guttural sound. There is a name for it which translates as ‘the noise of a bull ejaculating’.
I hope to be able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear in my native dialect as we dine on pork.
Please write soon, my prized porcine trinket.
Honorably yours,
Jesus Mojito Tomato VI
From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: March 18, 2023, 8:57 AM
I can ask you some questions? You are looking for a serious relationship? I ask because I have received many bad messages. For example: "baby, what underwear are you wearing? Or "baby, do you want me? Come to me". Maybe these were original ways of meeting me. pffffff.... But of course it was horrible! It caused only negative emotions.
That is why I ask you. You seemed polite and proper. But tell me what are you looking for in a relationship?
I think I've had enough questions. and now I'm waiting for questions from you. And, of course, I await answers and photographs �� .
I lose patience because I need to see photos of you, and I worry a lot because I will have to wait for your answer :-)))
I'm afraid of being rejected ��
But I'm giving you a chance... and I hope I get a chance from you too........please remember to send the photos.
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 19, 2023, 4:56 PM
Hello Uliana
I see you have no children. I have spawned eight offspring, although officially I only recognize three of them, because the mothers are liars and whores who I spit at in the street.
I would never ask any woman what underwear she is wearing because, in my experience, it only ever leads to violence with sharp kitchen implements.
My ex-wife only ever wore one pair of knickers. They were the size of Andalusia and they stank like the diseased innards of sardines that have been left to rot in the sun.
Honorably yours,
Pacito Patio Bonanza IV
From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: March 20, 2023, 7:55 AM
Hello
Have you met women from other countries? I hope you realized that I am not Russian. I am from Kazakhstan, although I now live in Russia. Even my father still lives in Kazakhstan.
You have eight children. you should be proud of them! Do you often try to have time with them?
I also wanted to ask you: where do you like to walk in your city? And what attractions in your city are special to you?
I am only interested in knowing about your hobbies and if we have hobbies in common with you.
Let me know if you like my photos today. For a long time, I doubted whether to send it to you. I think you are doubting to send me photos but don’t be afraid my love. I long to see your photos.
I'm thinking of sending you a picture of my body tomorrow when I am taking a shower, if you're interested in seeing it. Are you interested?
And actually, I'd love it if you had any more questions. Okay? :-)
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 20, 2023, 2:45 PM
Hello Uliana
I hope you are having a nice weekend. I believe bathroom routines are a private affair so I have no need, nor desire, to intrude upon yours.
Do you have any pets? I would like to see photographs of those. Particularly if you have access to any farmyard animals.
I told you about my Uncle Salvadore. Last night he became very drunk with the fermented brew of water and boars’ faeces and, after he passed-out, I stole all of his money. So now I can pay for you travel to Pueblo dos Simplones.
You can fly to Madrid and take the train and then the bus but, I am afraid, that for the last 20 kilometres you will have to travel by donkey.
Please let me know when you can travel and I will arrange your flight and accommodation in the local bodega. It is a little rough around the edges and the owner has multiple convictions for the forced sexual penetration of dead sea mammals, but they do a good breakfast.
Honourably yours
Alejandro Rodeo Guerrilla VII
From: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
To: carlos
Date: March 22, 2023, 11:25 AM
Hello
I am looking for a trustworthy person and I want to create a serious and stable relationship in the future.
I want to find a decent home that I can love. Of course, I want it to be mutual. Is it you? I am not sure because we have exchanged many letters over weeks and still you do not do what I ask.
I'm not in a relationship and I don't have children. I have no experience in online love, but I decided to try. Please don’t disappoint me and send me photos.
Uliana
From: carlos
To: <ksuliana@zohomail.eu>
Date: March 24, 2023, 5:50 PM
Hello Uliana,
I am at a loose end today as I have been suspended from work. I was caught in one of the pigsties in a supposed “compromising position” with a mature sow.
As I explained to my supervisor, I had dropped my pants because my thigh was itchy, and as I did so, one of the pigs backed on to me, just as my work colleague arrived. I fear a stitchup. Following an investigation, it was decided that I should be removed from the plant with immediate effect, after 76 photographs were found on my smartphone which appeared to show me having relations with the same animal.
My defence is that the pictures were doctored and planted on my phone by my supervisor. He is the father of Pablito the Imbecile, our village retard, who works in the department of the slaughterhouse where they harvest eyebrows, nostrils, ears, and toes of the animals.
He is looking to get his son out of nostrils and eyelids have him transferred to testicles and anuses, at my expense. I won't take it, I tell you. I won't.
My dearest Uliana, have you ever considered having a threesome with a man and an animal?
Honorably yours, Manuel Fiesta Burrito II
Communication ended.