Capilano Courier Vol. 45 Issue 15

“Pushing buttons since 1968�

Volume 45

N O R T H V A N C O U V E R / / J anuar y 3 0 , 2 0 1 2

with Broken Hearts // Cheap Art // Bilingualism // and so much more ...

Issue N o. 15

TABle of contents Vol. Fourty-Five | Issue 14

Pushing buttons since 1968

Contac t u s Praise? Damnation? Let us know what you think:

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caveat lector The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism, or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Publishing Society.

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Advice for getting over a breakup that doesn't involve Aimee Mann and ice cream? Madness.

C al e n d a r

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Starring naked Dan Rad: now legal!

Sta f f

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Fe a t u r e s

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Shocker: Taboo Sex Show neither taboo nor sexy.

Ar t s

editor-in-chief

editor-in-chief

production mngr.

a rt d i r e c t o r

Samantha Thompson

Sarah Vitet

Shannon Elliott

JJ Brewis

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JJ gets another drawing of himself in the paper!

Columns

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We have free Girl with the Dragon Tattoo posters in the office in case you run out of T.P. a rt s e d i t o r

opinions editor

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Claire Vulliamy

Marco Ferreira

Gurpreet Kambo

humor

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Mike Bastien

O pi n i o n s

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Featuring hilarious Franco-phobic caricature by yours truly,

s ta f f p h o t o g r a p h e r

Jason Jeon

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events mngr.

Jonty Davies

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Luna Lovegood is an adorable tramp! Tell your friends!

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Sarah Taylor Sarah spends most of her time staring at a computer screen in her hermit-hole-like classroom.

You may be able to lure her out by offering olives and nutella (but not combined, that's gross).

➽ sarahltaylorart.blogspot.com

Retraction!

The news illustration of the deer with the target from last issue was actually drawn by Katie So, not Sarah Taylor.

{ WORLD* } This

WEEK in the

Comments from our webste edition!

DRUNKEN TEENS + TRANSIT – SECURITY = BAD Johnathan: They need to have MORE Transit Security on the buses and at the bus loops. Have at LEAST 2 units in every jurisdiction, with 3 in Vancouver. They need A LOT MORE than they

from the editor //

IGNORANT ≠ INNOCENT

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couple of weeks ago, a woman in Vancouver was fined for tying her dog outside and leaving him unattended. There was, she quickly learned, a city bylaw that prohibited this. As the saying goes, you are meant to learn from your mistakes. Instead, she ran to every news outlet that would listen to her, ranting about how unfair the bylaw was, and that she shouldn’t be punished for breaking it because she “didn’t know the bylaw existed.”

We have been sympathetic to her case, because she’s talking about an adorable fluffy dog. I love dogs more than the next person, but her ignorance about the bylaw is not an excuse for not following it. For any other bylaw or regulation, the argument would never hold up.

It has now turned into a huge issue at City Hall, with Councillor Adriane Carr taking up the cause. She believes that this section of the bylaw is overkill, and that it is penalizing people who act responsibly with their pets. Although there are several valid arguments against the bylaw, one of the loudest seems to be that the it is ridiculous because no one knows about it.

This is where we enter an interesting situation. Using this bylaw as an example, the logic seems to be that if you don’t know about a law, you are not obliged to follow it. Although this broken bylaw is not putting lives at risk, excusing the violation of this bylaw is heading down a slippery slope. Soon, we’ll see court trials where the defendant is screaming at the judge: “Please, Your Honour, I’m innocent. I didn’t know it was illegal to eat people! Don’t send me to jail!”

Yes, this is an extreme example, but the logic still applies. Ignorance does not forgive our actions. It is our responsibility as a member of society to inform ourselves about the social contract we enter into by being a part of a community. You can believe that you cannot be ordered to enter into a social contract, but we have all still entered into one because we reap the benefits of living in an organized society.

I’m not telling you that you have to follow laws to the letter (it might be a good idea, but hey, I’m not your mother), but if you break a law you should do so as an informed human being.

This blissful ignorance is spreading through our society, and it is a pathetic excuse for wrongdoing. We live in the information age, where everything is readily available at our fingertips. If we want to know

about a bylaw, we can go to the city’s website and find all the documents we need in less than five minutes.

The only excuse for not knowing about a law is laziness, and, quite frankly, that hasn’t been a valid reason in quite some time. We need to pull our act together and ensure that everything we do is done as informed citizens. We must seek out information, and help spread it amongst ourselves. We must go to the source to get details, and stop swallowing propaganda like it’s candy on Halloween.

Until we recognize that any lack of information or ignorance is our own fault, we remain vulnerable pawns in a government’s game. Because we are unaware, they hold all the power. There are a few voices speaking out, but because we can’t be bothered to look beyond the Metro or the Province, they’re being drowned out in this angry ocean of lies.

Do what you want, but recognize the consequences. I will only accept your reasoning if you have made the effort to inform yourself, and you should do the same. The longer we remain ignorant, the longer ridiculous stories like a dog bylaw are going to remain on the front page; meanwhile, Canada turns its back on the environment, tries to push through dangerous copyright legislation, and messes around with a controversial pipeline.

The government knows exactly what they're doing, and it’s time we follow their example and educate ourselves.

— Samantha Thompson // editor-in-chief

already have.

The Voicebox 'DUMPING' THE LOAD OFF OUR MINDS NR7: Great feature, very well reasearched and written. I hope to see more relevant, educational

with JJ Brewis

and informative pieces like this in future issues of the Courier. kate: Will it be sustainable and effective?

Absolutely key points in an excellent article. Well presented, articulate and engaging.

Great read.

IMPEACHING EDUCATION FUNDING, AND A SKUNK, TO BOOT Education Portal: Hey … Thanks for sharing nice information with … It seems very helpful for all …

SILENT PLANET AND BEYOND gg: Wicked write up on one of my favourite and BC's most underrated talents.

Thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Can't wait to hear the new material!

Look for the Voicebox on Tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria, to anonymously “voice” your “opinion” on any “topic.” Introverted alternatives include emailing your opinion to voicebox@capilanocourier.com, or texting (778) 886-5070.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who acts out relevant scenes from movies when alone; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve quoted Doc Ock from the final scene in Spiderman 2 to my dogs. You know, the part where the Doc finally regains sanity and tells his tentacles ‘Listen … listen to me now.’”

“You should send a public service announcement in your paper to students reminding them to press save on their files. I was just in a computer lab and this doofus came to plug a kettle in and hit the power bar on my station! I lost my entire Chem paper! ARRRRGH!” We’ve all been there. Sucks. Usually if you bring your prof something to butter them up, they’ll be understanding of your inability to press save. I recommend a bouquet of water lilies or water chestnuts, or a waterslide (one of the inflatable ones I used to slide down in my Grandma’s yard with Sunlight dish soap to make it slippery – thanks grandma, my dermatologist is so mad at you to this day!)

You’re not only wrong, but you’re wrong twice.

stories waiting to have their comment cherries popped on www.capilanocourier.com

Yeah, girl power, y’all! Get those shirts on, get those Victorian era socks on, get those Easter bonnets on, and THEN get your ass in that Bikram, and you gonna sweat twice as hard as before. I think it’s funny that you wrote in about other people because isn’t your yoga class supposed to be like an individual experience that connects and grounds you to your spiritual and inner core? That’s what it’s about. Until someone farts, and then everyone has the right to be distracted.

To your DOGS? Your DOGS. Now THAT’S cool. I think you should buy them little plaid outfits and market yourselves as a one-man-and-two-dogClueless-revival-tour. You know I’m right.

“Why is everyone always ragging on 24 and Metro? There are way worse newspapers!”

* Enraged by all this positive feedback? There are many

trying to get my downward-facing-dog on, not be distracted by nasty old dudes.”

“I hate it when the old hairy melty men at my yoga class take off their shirts! I don’t wanna see that shit. It’s offensive to me as a woman. I’m

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EDIT OR // Gurpreet Kambo // ne w s @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Jupiter, Music, and You Dr. Leonard George on Cosmic Psychology of the Renaissance

By McKenzie Rainey // Writer

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any people are familiar with the Monday morning haze, stumbling to an 8:30am class, not fully awake without a dose of caffeine. What if this isn’t merely a Monday morning, running-low-on-caffeine problem, and we are never truly awake at all? In the words of Dr. Leonard George, “What if our ordinary waking state is a form of sleep?” he asks. “Can we wake up to a fuller consciousness?”

In his presentation, “The Cosmic Psychology of the Renaissance”, which took place at Lynn Valley Library on Jan. 17, Dr. George explained the theories of Marsilio Ficino, a fifteenth- century philosopher, physician, priest, and writer. Ficino suggests (among other things) that a part of our soul is asleep from birth to death, and that music can help us become fully awake.

Florence, Ficino’s home city, is considered the birthplace of the Italian Renaissance. In Ficino’s time, it was also a center for philosophy.

Part of this was a was due to luck: as Dr. George explained, with the attack on Constantinople by the Turks, ancient treasures were spirited west to Italy. These included texts on the ideas of Plato and Aristotle which dated back thousands of years.

Many of these texts were secured by one man, Cosimo de’ Medici. Medici was the leader of Florence’s most powerful banking family, with an incredible amount of behind-the-scenes

political power. He was also the wealthiest man of his time – not only in Florence, but in all of Europe. The texts Medici obtained were translated from the original Greek into Latin by Ficino, who was trained for just this purpose on Medici’s orders. Ficino was the first “Westerner” to read these texts, and he wasn’t just a translator: he built on the ancient philosophies to develop his own theories about connections between the cosmos, music, and the soul.

According to Dr. George, the idea that the movements of planets is “musical” is an ancient concept, but “no practical theory linking soul and cosmos via music developed in antiquity.”

Long before Ficino, Pythagoras put forth the idea that the structure of the world was based on harmonic ratios – the fourths, fifths, and octaves familiar to music students; Plato also postulates on the idea that the soul of the universe is musical.

Ficino theorizes that each of the seven planets that were known at the time, along with the sun and moon, issue unique “planetary rays”. Objects and organisms on earth would be classified by which ray they absorb and are governed by. If they shared common characteristics, they would be under the same ray. Dr. George gave the example of the sunflower and the lion, which were linked to the sun (think of a lion’s mane, spreading out in all directions like sunlight). According to Ficino, these ray-infused objects then exert their influence on the human soul.

Dr. George explained Ficino’s ideas on the

soul with the term “microcosm”, elaborating that Ficino talks about the “planets within”, the idea of a balance of emotional forces within the soul which are governed by the various planets.

Influences from the (physical) planets could contribute to harmony or disharmony among the inner planets.

The concept of illness from an imbalance of externally influenced factors wasn’t new – medieval doctors were long influenced by the (now discredited) medical practice of “humorism”, the idea that the influence and balance of fire, earth, air, and water affected one’s health.

Ficino had personal reasons for theorizing about balance in the soul, too; he was said to suffer from depression. As a physician, he had different remedies for problems of the soul, but the most potent remedy was music. If you think about it, this is used today as well – nothing cures a bad mood like a favourite song.

Music was considered powerful by Renaissance thinkers because it is constantly in motion in the form of vibrations. As Dr. George explained, Ficino believes that “the vibrating pattern of air [temporarily] [brings] that air to life.”

Ficino sang and played musical remedies for himself and others. Different types of music were related to different planets, and thus different problems. One treatment for his depression was meditation on images and music related to Venus and Jupiter.

According to Ficino, music wasn’t just a remedy for disorders of the soul – it could awaken a

consciousness that most people go through life without. His thinking on this was again based on ancient philosophy, on a concept called “Plato’s third eye”. The concept of three eyes wasn’t literal; opening the third eye meant truly awakening the soul. Ficino’s angle was that the highest part of the soul (the “mens”) is asleep from birth to death.

Dr. George explained that the sleeping “mens” is the closed eye of the soul, and “our mission is to wake [it] up.”

Dr. George suggested that part of waking could be as simple as becoming more aware of our surroundings. Ficino hypothesized four kinds of “divine madnesses”, again building on Plato’s theories. These were stages of awakening, creating a different state of mind, unrelated to pathological madness. Music plays a role in “poetic madness”, which constitutes for the first stirrings of “awakening”.

Ideas like prescribing cosmos-related music for depression or using music to reawaken the higher soul may seem absurd by today’s standards; however, Dr. George explained that we should not necessarily scoff at these ideas or dismiss them as superstition. Ficino’s aim is not to explain physical causes, but rather to evoke changes in the soul, and it is up to the individual to test and decide if such remedies actually work.

We need not take his ideas too literally; in the words of Dr. George, “It's very unlikely that the hot, dry sphere that scientists call Venus or the ball of gas that scientists call Jupiter care about your feelings.”

No Clots Despite Pressure Not all students who want to give blood are allowed

By Liam Park // Writer

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

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n an average day, Canadian hospitals need over 900 litres of blood. It is used to help approximately one person every minute of every day in Canada. The shelf life of blood is 42 days, and if donations suddenly stopped, the current stores would be depleted in three days. The Capilano Students’ Union invited Canadian Blood Services onto the campus in order to hold a blood drive on Jan 16. “[The students] were so bloody stoked!” says Teresa Grant, Capilano’s Social Justice Coordinator. They were turning would-be donors away by 10:30. With more willing donors than available materials to accept donations, Grant foresees a returning blood drive. UBC donates approximately 40 units of blood twice a month and Douglas College does the same once every two months.

“The risk of not getting a blood transfusion when it’s needed is infinitely greater than the risk of infection from receiving one,” states the American Red Cross. While the blood from two donors can see someone through hip replacement surgery, the needs of a car accident victim, according Canadian Blood Services (CBS), could exceed 50 units of blood.

CBS manages the blood supply in all Canadian provinces, excluding Quebec, and recently has been under pressure from activist

groups like the Canadian Federation of Students for certain deferral practices. Although the Social Justice Committee ran a dual campaign to inform students about the controversy regarding CBS concurrently with the blood drive, Grant claims to have received an angry letter from a student who felt discriminated against regarding the decision to host CBS on campus.

Between the late 1970s and 1990, due to lax screening processes and less advanced testing methods, many people contracted HIV and thousands more fell victim to Hepatitis C after receiving blood donations. Blood services in Canada at this time were managed by the Red Cross, until a Royal Commission of Inquiry on the blood system in Canada was held.

The CBS was proposed as an arms-length incorporation in order to protect the government from direct involvement, and to protect citizens of Canada from future risks due to the old system (in which the transfusion services reported to the Federal government). Blood test technology continued to improve and screening became more strict. To this day, a would be donor is considered “high-risk” if they have used any needle drugs, lived in any non-Commonwealth countries in Africa since 1977, or suffered from a stroke, malaria, heart disease, syphilis, Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease (the human form of mad cow), and any man who’s had sex with a man (MSM) are blacklisted for life. The latter category has been particularly controversial.

// Sarah Taylor “We clearly have a situation in which there are chronic blood shortages and we also have a situation in which gay men are totally discriminated against,” according to Dr Mark Wainberg, the head of the HIV program at Montreal’s Jewish General Hospital.

The Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) is lobbying to eliminate lifetime bans of MSM from donating blood to CBS through their End the Ban campaign. They suggest that the deferrals go against Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and that with the latest technology for blood testing and screened consideration of lifestyle habits, there is no reason not to repeal the rule.

When asked about this testing, a logistics coordinator with CBS explains, “Blood tests are still not 100 per cent [accurate] and that someone who’s HIV positive might not know through a blood test until three to six months afterwards,”

despite claims of using the best technology available. The same representative admitted that the lifetime deferral might not be perfect; however, “it’s really all up to Health Canada.”

While unrepresented members of the homosexual student body may still be left feeling upset that they were unable to donate, the diplomatic efforts of Grant and the SJC should be duly noted.

Grant wrote a letter and posted it in the Queer Centre, where she addressed the MSM ban.

“I just wanted to ensure you that the Social Justice Committee has this in mind while advocating for issues surrounding blood and that we will be distributing materials with this position,” the letter reads. “Since the Canadian Blood Services is the only organization to legally collect the donation of blood, we felt this demand is something that effects us all so encouraging people to donate who are eligible is still very important. This is why we will try to highlight both sides as best as we can.” No further concerns have been brought to Grant’s attention since the letter was posted.

By the end of the blood drive, 35 people had donated blood at Capilano University, with many students interested in donating in the future. In addition to saving other people’s lives, donating blood has multiple health benefits for the individual donor. Regularly donating blood can help prevent heart attack, cancer, and cardiovascular disease, and has other proven health benefits as well.

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Broken Hearts 101 Learning to heal from emotional pain

By Lindsay Howe // Writer

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he dark, gloomy weather of the winter months, combined with the realization that your parents will be the only people buying you flowers and chocolates this Valentine’s Day, is enough to have anyone feeling a little bit down about a recently-failed relationship. The Student Success Workshop series at Capilano has devoted a workshop entitled “Breaking Up and Letting Go” to help students cope with their relationship woes.

At any age, dealing with a break up can be emotionally devastating, but dealing with a break up whilst trying to juggle studies, a part-time job, and a social life can prove to be even more difficult. However, those dealing with heartbreak can take comfort that brain research on emotional pain shows that, despite the intensity of pain in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, people are resilient, and that in virtually all breakups (though it may take months) they are eventually able to move on and put it behind them.

To this end, the goal of the workshop is to give students the tools to deal with their emotions and show them how this split can actually result in becoming a stronger, better person.

According to the organizers, participants will walk away with the strategies they need to focus attention on their studies and other goals, and according to the organizers, “have the ability to keep moving on.” This workshop is being run

by Maggie Feist, a counsellor who works in the

Counselling Services department at both the North Vancouver and Squamish campuses of Capilano University.

Feist describes the workshop as “a one-hour workshop focusing on letting go and dealing with breakups. We will look at feelings that we commonly have after break-ups which include having doubts about who we are, how we feel, and reconciliation.” Feist explains that there will be a significant amount of focus on learning how to accept the situation and talk about your feelings openly, as opposed to submerging them and rushing through them without truly understanding why you feel a certain way.

The workshop will be set up in a way that educates individuals about key concepts in the healing journey as opposed to being a step by step workshop. Feist explains some key concepts being learned as “awareness, common issues, how people can personalize the information being given, and explaining why common emotions occur after breakups, and how everybody is different and will ultimately have a slightly different way of responding to break-ups than other people.”

Much of the research on emotional pain and break-ups shows that it is a normal and essential part of the human experience. “Our brains appear to process relationship break-ups similarly to physical pain,” says Dr. Melanie Greenberg on the website Psychology Today.

She cites research in which participants who had recently broken up with their partners had the same brain areas light up on an MRI scan,

// Jason Jeon both when they were shown pictures of their former lover and when a hot probe was applied on the arm. “There may be an evolutionary reason for this. In the animal kingdom, one's chances of avoiding predators are much higher as part of a group than alone; therefore, social rejection may have been an actual threat to physical survival for our early ancestors. If this is the case, it might partially explain how difficult it is for many people to let go of the ex-partner and move on.”

Those who have gone through a breakup may also be familiar with the obsessive thoughts and “cravings” about their former partner that come with a traumatic separation. There may be physiological reasons for why these cravings occur, says Dr. Greenberg. According to one study that used similar methodology, viewing photos of the former lover prompted intense activity in the area of the brain that deals with reward/mo-

tivation and the release of dopamine, similar to the activity that is seen in drug addiction. “People may experience cravings for their ex-partner similarly to the way addicts crave a drug they are withdrawing from,” says Dr. Greenberg. “This can lead to intense distress and physiological as well as psychological discomfort.”

Those who have found that they’ve loved and lost often find themselves on a pendulum of sadness, jealousy, anger, and many other feelings that they cannot figure out on their own. According to Feist, despite the pain a student may be experiencing, one of things she wants to convey is that “many of the feelings you experience post break up are perfectly normal and are supposed to have a serious impact on you.”

The workshop is being held on Friday, Feb. 3 from 1130am-1230pm in the Library Building, room 119.

FILM BUILDING PREMIER New film building open (finally)

By Scott Moraes // Writer

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Angeles (and being in the same time zone), diverse neighbourhoods, and natural settings have helped attract Hollywood productions and earned the city the nickname “Hollywood North” – it is in fact the third-largest film production centre in North America, after Los Angeles and New York City. The incredibly large stages of Vancouver Film Studios, the Bridge Studios in Burnaby, and North Shore/Mammoth Studios in North Vancouver have also attracted CGI-heavy Hollywood blockbusters such as Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Final Destination 5, Iron Man, XMen: The Last Stand, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Even Vancouver's cloudiness is apparently welcome in terms of cinematography.

The predominance of American productions leads some to consider Vancouver's film industry something like Hollywood's backyard.

“There's nothing wrong with being Hollywood's backyard. There's something wrong with being Hollywood's backyard only”, says Bill Thumm.

The film program means to train students to find work in the industry regardless of the multi-million-dollar Hollywood productions.

Finishing touches for the Bosa Centre, such as the establishment of a small café on the main floor, are still taking place, but the building is functional and is already holding classes. The bus loop by the building has also been reopened; formalities such as ribbon-cutting and posing with government figures may happen in February; and landscaping is being postponed at least until the spring, once Vancouver's typically inclement weather is past.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

n the northernmost part of Capilano University's North Vancouver campus, formerly a bare grassy area where many students have never bothered going, the new state-of-the-art Nat and Flora Bosa Centre for Film and Animation towers over campus. Opening was initially slated for the summer of 2011, but as usual in things related to film, the project went overschedule as well as over-budget.

The building took approximately two and a half years to be completed, with a budget of over $30 million (although the final budget was not made public, a promo feature by Canon Design stated the cost at $37 million). It owes its name to real estate developer and owner of North Shore Studios/Mammoth Studios Nat Bosa and his wife Flora, who contributed a private donation of $6 million to the project.

The Centre replaces the shabby 33-year-old P Building – now used for storage – as the home of the Motion Picture Arts programs, as well as the Cinematography, Costuming, Visual Effects, Documentary, Acting, and Animation programs.

The building boasts an industry-standard sound mixing and recording studio, picture and sound editing labs, hair and makeup rooms, a foley suite, a 200-seat theatre with a 3D projector, and a massive 8000 square foot sound stage with a green screen. Access to the many rooms is protected by digital locks and is restricted to students and faculty members. The new high-tech

energy efficiency and fewer greenhouse gas emissions. The building's numerous glass windows take good advantage of natural light, even during the short and rainy days of fall and winter.

Moreover, approximately $1 million for the purchase of 3D equipment (including cameras, monitors, projectors, and rigs) were allocated to the Bosa Centre by the Western Economic Diversification Program, another federal program designed to “strengthen innovation, business development, and community economic development” in Western Canada.

While announcing funding for Capilano University, the Honourable Lynne Yelich, Minister of State for Western Economic Diversification, // Rachel Gamboa stated, “B.C.’s film industry generates thousands equipment and facilities will not cause a hike on of jobs and is a strong economic force in this the tuition fees for the Motion Picture Arts Pro- province. The purchase of equipment for Capgram, which are significantly higher than most ilano University’s Bosa Centre will help film stuother programs at Capilano. dents and existing industry professionals in B.C. Bill Thumm, director of the Bosa Centre, ensure that their skill set remains current in this claims to have started pursuing a new building competitive market.” on campus over eight years ago. He argues that Thumm also argues that the program already “the program was unsustainable without a pur- enjoyed good esteem in the local film commupose-built facility.” nity, but new facilities “allow the bar to be raised Financing for the project came mostly from even further.” At present, training in 3D technolfederal and provincial stimulus programs, such ogy is still in development and being offered prias the Knowledge Infrastructure Program, part marily to fourth-year students. of Canada's Action Plan of 2009 and designed to More than just an extravagant cosmetic make“support infrastructure enhancement at universi- over, the new facilities are expected to impact ties and colleges.” According to their website, the B.C.'s film industry significantly. The training of new film centre is also designed to meet Lead- skilled professionals is intended to minimize the ership in Energy and Environmental Design jobs that are brought in from the United States.

(LEED) Gold certification, resulting in improved Vancouver's tax credits, proximity to Los

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m o n day j a n . 3 0 JJ MONDAY Today's calendar Monday is brought to you by JJ because he accidentally turned off my computer when I was writing the calendar and I'm a dummy and I forgot to save periodically, so he felt bad! My lesson learned. Anyways, enjoy JJ Monday!

ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Editor-in-Chief Samantha Thompson’s younger sister Zoë stars as the Doormouse in this, a charming rendition of the Lewis Carroll classic!

I personally can’t WAIT to see a Depp-free Mad Hatter!

7 PM. Killarney Secondary School. Tickets $10 at door (limited)

HOW I MET YOUR MONDAY. There may or may not be a new episode of this charming television hit on today! If there is, tune is and lose your mind to how ravishing Jason Segel is! If there’s not, watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall on YouTube. I have no clue. Maybe this should be called “Jason Segel Day”. Rejoice!

Your house. My house. Free.

EMILIE AUTUMN: FIGHT LIKE A GIRL TOUR. I have no clue who this is, but she looks like a steampunk goth, and that’s alright I guess. It looks like a Valentine’s Day burlesque festival! I hope Cher turns up!

The Rickshaw. $15/19

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY From JJ: You probably already downloaded them if you care, but today sees new releases from historic artists (Leonard Cohen) and major flops (Lana Del Rey). Whatever your flavour, you’ll probably end up downloading it and listening to it once before returning to a never-ending loop of Beauty and the Beast soundtrack.

The internet or a record store. Your call. Free – $15.

THE $100 WINNER-TAKES-ALL VARIETY SHOW “Patrick Maliha hosts a show where each contestant gets up to five minutes to show off their star talent. At the end of the night, the audience votes for its favourite and the winner gets $100.” A classic formula! Something about variety shows really appeals to me; something about them is just distinctly North American.

9 – 11 PM. Fray (3980 Fraser St.). Free!

JJ GOES TO CALENDAR GIRLS This popular play about naked middle-aged women is back in Vancouver, and tonight, the Courier's Art Director JJ Brewis will be hittin' it up with his sister! If you can't make it tonight, it will be running until Feb. 26; be sure to check it out! See artsclub.ca for more details.

8 PM. Artsclub Theatre – Industrial Alliance Stage. $29 – $65.

CAPILANO U'S JAZZ STUDIES SMALL ENSEMBLE RECITAL Want to meet some rad fellow students and jazz out hard to some jazz? Tonight at the Presentation House, third-year Jazz Studies students will be holding a recital for their Small Ensemble course. It will be jazzy, and all of these people are rad and cute, so you should check it out!

Plus, tea and cookies! 8 PM. Presentation House (333 Chesterfield Ave.). $10.

t u e s day jan. 31 MOVIE: MISS REPRESENTATION The CSU's Women's Collective is hosting a screening of Miss Representation, a film that explores the role that the media plays in the oppression of women. A light lunch will be provided, but attendees are encouraged to bring snacks to share in the style of a “pot-latch”.

Yum! 11:30 AM. CSU Lounge (Maple 116). Free!

MOVIE: MISS CONGENIALITY I will be hosting a screening of Miss Congeniality, the classic Sandra Bullock film that explores the role that female FBI agents play in beauty pageant-related assassination cases. A light dinner consisting of popcorn will be provided, and I might be able to scrape up some sodas.

7 PM. My house. Free!

w e d n e s day feb. 1 FEBRUARY 1 From JJ: It's the first day of the month! A chance to revamp your New Year's resolution! A day to really think about what "leap year" means! A day to question the first "R" in February. Also to wonder why there's a D in Wednesday. What the hell! I'm so confused.

In my head. All day. Price depends on your own BRAIN POWER.

t h u r s day feb. 2 GROUNDHOG DAY Classic holiday! I hope the groundhog doesn't see his shadow. Or maybe I hope that he does?

Whichever one means that spring is coming and I can start wear booty shorts.

DIVAS & DUDES Putting the fun in fundraiser! The Frolicking Divas are an independent female production company that are looking to stage a female version of The Odd Couple and hosting a delightful evening of fun, dancing, silent auction items, and more! Eighties-themed apparel is encouraged, and a prize will be awarded to the best costume.

9 PM. The Waldorf Hotel. $12/10.

MARRIAGE With Valentine's day coming up, this is a big deal. At this forum, “moderator Amir Kamyabnejad questions why arranged marriages, often between two people who had never met before marrying, have a higher success rate.” My guess is that it's because they probably share a lot of basic cultural beliefs and practices; check out this event and find out if I'm right! 7 PM. The Grind & Gallery (4124 Main St.). Free!

GROUNDHOG DAY YAWN. You wake up. It's still groundhog day?

Didn't we already do this? You look in the mirror.

You have turned into Bill Murray.

GROUNDHOG DAY YAWN. You wake up. What. What is happening.

You are ripping the pages out of your page-a-day calendar; Feb. 2, Feb. 2, Feb. 2. You feel an overwhelming sense of frustration and insanity. You start to sweat and your skin becomes clammy.

QUIET CITY #9 According to the event pages, Quiet City is a “series of deep-listening concerts in Vancouver, focused on live performances of experimental, electronic and improvised music” and it features a variety of local and touring musicians. Far out/ heavy/yeah, man. Quick VIVO story: my friend once got drunk and belligerent and kicked in the window at VIVO. 9 PM. VIVO Media Arts Centre (1965 Main St.). No price listed.

(THE WOMAN IN) BLACK (FRIDAY) From JJ: Daniel Radcliffe’s first movie since the Harry Potter finale, The Woman In Black, premieres today! I hear it’s about a mischievous group of kids who fight off bad guys and wear sinister looking cloaks. Sounds unique!

Movie theatres everywhere. Around $12 or so?

GROUNDHOG DAY YAWN. You wake up. You slept poorly and now you have woken up to realize that your nightmare continues in waking life; it is still groundhog day. You weep to yourself; your weeping turns into vocal, gutteral sobs, which turn into howls of despair.

friday feb. 3 NO LONGER GROUNDHOG DAY Thank goodness! You learned your lesson, and now it's tomorrow. The spell is broken. You will be forever haunted by your occult experience.

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NEEDS, REAL BOYS, EEEK! Don't be scared! Eeek! is just the name of the Courier's resident music-columnist-turnedregular-contributer/distributer, Colin Spenny. It's an early show, so you can go to this show to rock out, and then go somewhere else and keep rocking out! Extended periods of rocking out!

8 – 11 PM. The Biltmore Cabaret. $6.

STYX Ahhh! The classic rock band Styx will be gracing our city! I've loved Styx ever since my band performed “Come Sail Away” with Boogie Monster at a yacht rock-themed night at the Biltmore.

We got free drink tickets and it was utterly fun.

Seriously, it's one of the best songs of all time.

It's about aliens! And, one could argue, about life itself. I'm listening to it right now.

8 PM. Red Robinson Show Theatre. 70.40/80.40.

sunday feb. 5 WILCO with WHITE DENIM. From JJ: I have never seen this band, but I probably should. They get points in my book for having really pretty art on the covers of their albums. From Celina: I went to see Wilco for free with my now-ex-boyfriend so sadly their music is now tainted for me with memories.

The Orpheum. 8pm. $47.50/$39.50

THE GATHERING OF THE FORCES OF LIGHT: UFOS AND THEIR SPIRITUAL MISSION Yes, please. “Multimedia presentation based on British author and futurist Benjamin Creme's latest book about the divine forces seeking to assist humanity.” Yes, please! All of that. I want it.

2 PM. Roundhouse Community Arts and Recreation Centre. Free!

SEAFOOD SUNDAY Inject some “fun” into your weekly menu by eating seafood today! Some types of seafood include clams, halibut, bass, salmon, scallops (personal favey), an entire giant squid. Vegetarians: try seaweed! Very healthy!

Dinnertime. Your house. Cost of fish.

LOS CAMPENSINOS I never saw these guys when I was a youth, but I remember that when I WAS a youth, they were super huge with all my cooler friends. I think they might be ska?

8 PM. The Electric Owl. No price listed.

STILL LISTENING TO STYX It's so good, guys! I would say the pinnacle of the piece comes around 4:22. Key change!

“I though that they were angels, but to my surprise/they climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies!” There's really something in this song for everybody.

MONSTER JAM Okay, there isn't actually a description of this event. It's probably a monster car rally or something, but what I WANT it to be is either a) a bunch of monsters jamming out to rock and roll, b) a canning seminar presented by monsters, c) a very, very large jar of jam that people pay money to see.

7 PM. BC Place Stadium. Mystery cost aka I'm too lazy to figure it out.

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ED I TO R S / / S ar ah v i te t + Samant ha Thompson // s pe c i al fe ature s . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

S.O.P.A and P.I.P.A Bills Threaten Online Freedom Fortunately some people really, really care long after it became known that the Internet erupted in hysteria of protest and campaigning.

On Jan. 17, some of the Internet’s biggest and most frequently visited websites held an Internet blackout. Sites including Wikipedia and Reddit both went offline, replacing their homepage with links to SOPA information and petitions to stop the bills.

Other sites, including Google, Twitter, and Facebook all publicly denounced SOPA and PIPA, as well as the Senators backing the legislation. Montreal’s Vice Magazine went as far as to call Senator Patrick Leahy a hypocrite and dissect his Twitter account, pointing out the large amount of copyright infringement he had on his page, including images and video links.

ONE UNIFIED VOICE

By Colin Spensley // Writer

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SOPA AND PIPA IN PLAIN ENGLISH On the surface, both of these anti-piracy acts seem rather harmless. It is generally accepted

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

he words SOPA and PIPA seemed to pop up everywhere we turned on the Internet this January. These two bills were pushed to the House and Senate of the United States by entertainment industry lobbyists, and critics say that they’re dangerous because legislation like these bills can result in an Internet that is no longer free or unchecked.

On May 12, 2011, Senator Patrick Leahy introduced one of the United States most terrifying Internet censorship bills since the creation of the world’s largest communication tool. The Protecting Internet Property Act (PIPA) sent a shockwave across blogs and forums throughout the Internet.

Its counterpart, Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) quickly followed PIPA months later as a more encompassing attack on freedom of speech and media on the Internet. Under the guise of protecting the intellectual property of artists and companies, the U.S. Senate placed the intellectual liberty of the entire world and the very structure of the Internet on the line in order to protect the interests of the entertainment industry.

These bills had people frightened; however, luckily when people fear losing something, they take action quickly.

// Tiaré Jung This heavily contested slice of the SOPA pie is taken from Section 103 of the SOPA bill entitled “Market-Based System to Protect U.S. Customers and Prevent U.S. Funding of Sites Dedicated to Theft of U.S. Property.” Section 103 (a) and 103 (b) are the main parts of SOPA that have come under fire from the online community. Put simply, this section is stating that websites whose main purpose may not be the service of pirated content are still liable for what users post or share through their websites.

Consider your Facebook wall for a minute. It is likely that friends have posted YouTube videos containing music or images which neither you, your friends, or Facebook own the rights to. Under SOPA or PIPA, both you and Facebook would be held accountable for these copyright infringements. This would then make Facebook liable for your wall, which would likely cause mass censorship or account deletion.

These bills also give power to the corporations holding the copyrights to sue the infringing person or website, essentially taking all the power to police the Internet from the government and handing it over to entertainment companies.

Websites which once started out as small-run MESSING WITH FACEBOOK companies like Google, Wikipedia, and YouTube “An `Internet site is dedicated to theft of U.S. prop- would never have been able to take off under erty’ if [a portion of the site is US-directed] and the harsh restrictions of SOPA. Considering that is used by users within the United States and is these websites have now become cornerstones primarily designed or operated for the purpose in our modern-day Internet, it's easy to see why of offering services in a manner that enables or this has the online community enraged. facilitates [copyright violation or circumvention This one small section of SOPA is enough to of copyright protection measures].” have most people wary of the bill, and it wasn’t that piracy is essentially stealing, and since stealing is wrong, so is piracy. With PIPA and SOPA, however, the United States Federal Government wants to take things a bit further than that.

In brief, these acts seek to end the spread of copyrighted material by all websites, people, and your Internet service providers. However, the content of the bills is written in such a way that it takes a law degree to make any sense of it. SOPA and PIPA are both convoluted and impossibly difficult-to-read bills, and thus they take a keen and knowledgeable eye to dissect.

Chris Heald, writer for the on-line tech blog Mashable.com, began his in-depth analysis of the SOPA and PIPA bills by saying, “If ever a bill was spaghetti, this is it. If a programmer on my team wrote code as convoluted as this bill, I would fire him on the spot.”

The SOPA and PIPA bills, when deconstructed, would hold accountable any website which allows users to post content liable for the copyright infringement, which would in turn cause massive censorship, as no website would allow its self to become liable for lawsuit regardless of if the website is American or not.

Following Jan. 17, the general feeling spanning the Internet was that of optimism. United States Representative Jason Altmire claimed that “the Capitol received eight million electronic messages about SOPA and PIPA on Wednesday.”

Even before both bills were shelved for further review on Friday, most Internet and law analysts claimed the bills would not pass.

Although both of these bills were dropped by their representatives on Jan. 20, the House and Senate claim that the fight with Internet piracy is not over. The Motion Picture Association of America, the main backers to the SOPA and PIPA bills, will likely continue to lobby the Senate to tighten piracy laws in the United States; however, some of the country’s most powerful businesses seem to be fighting for the right to public privacy on the Internet. Google, for example, spent $9.68 million in 2010 lobbying Washington on issues like antitrust, piracy, and customer privacy.

This situation was unique because it saw mass amounts of people take action on an important issue – something that is rare. “I think battle over Internet regulation is going to continue to play out,” says Michael Geist, the Canada Research Chair in Internet and E-commerce Law. “It is hard to be optimistic about the issue as the lobby campaigns are intense and Internet users can't be expected to continually engage in political advocacy.”

This is becoming all too real in Canada with the introduction of Bill C-11. Alternatively titled the “Copyright Modernization Act”, it stands to be reviewed by the House on Mar. 1. “Once it passes, I expect another bill focused on intellectual property enforcement. After that, we will see even more lobbying and attempts to force Canada into following the U.S. model,” says Geist.

It is unclear if Canada’s online community will have the same strength and gusto as the people who stopped SOPA in its tracks. Luckily for America, the right people and organizations got behind the right cause at the right time. Even with mass support, more often than not the public is ignored by the “for the good of the people” mentality of current governments. But the people have spoken, and they won this round. It’s obvious the people love their Internet just as it is: unedited, free, and full of easily-obtainable, licensefree media content.

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WHAT IS TABOO? Experiencing the less-than-taboo adult trade show

// Tyler Hughes Dickenson. “Honestly, normally I’m just going through the motions because it’s a performance, // editor-in-chief but when I get a particularly attractive woman have never felt more horrified by audience there who is really getting into it … it’s hard to participation than while watching the live keep that line straight. Even I go a little red in the demo for The Bondage Bed. A spry 40-year- face. Generally those make the best demos, anyold female volunteer was tied by her ankles and way, because the crowd just eats that stuff up.” dry humped in a variety of poses while a crowd ✖ ✖ ✖ of strangers watched and laughed. Clad legs spread-eagled, lying on her back; I sure hoped Walking around the Taboo, I was interested to she was having a good experience. see a lot of non-sex related booths. There were The host of the demonstration, Jonathan at least three marijuana accessory vendors, a Dickenson, kept the crowd happy with jokes couple of soap/lotion booths, a few body modiwhile doing his best to include the woman un- fication booths (doing both real and temporary derneath him in the fun. There were definitely tattoos, and piercings), and a booth selling clipmoments of awkwardness, namely when he in hair feathers. While sex might be better when pulled her ankles together and thrust towards you’re stoned, moisturized, pierced, inked, and her g-spot; or when he stated, “I’m a force man, beautified, it did begin to look more like a mall myself,” and then began explaining a different on the bad side of town than a sex-oriented conposition. In all, though, it was nothing if not an sumer show. Nobody was even selling any buttimpacting sales pitch. bongs or dildo-pipes.

How does someone get a job doing live demos There was no shortage of products relating at consumer sex conventions? For Dickenson, to human genitals, though. From softcore nude his mom owned the company, so he says it was photographs and anal bleach kits, to sex wedges a natural course once he came of age. He’s been and countless varieties of personal lubricant, doing it for seven years now, and you’d never if you didn’t know exactly what you needed, guess the man dry-humping a woman on stage it would be easy to spend a lot of money. God used to fear public speaking. help the women who attended looking to buy “I hated it,” he says. “It turns out I’m just re- a vibrator. ally good at this kind of public speaking. I don’t In terms of buying sex toys and the various know, I’ve got the right personality for it, or some- other accoutrements, a good policy is to support thing.” Watching him on stage, I couldn’t help your local sex-positive stores whenever possible. but wonder if mishaps ever happened during Local stores of all kinds struggle to stay competithe demos. Although it’s not a very erotic sce- tive against Internet undercutting and shoddy nario, it still seemed like it might be hard to not knock-offs, so if you want the local shops to stay get turned on … if the audience volunteer were in business, it’s always a good idea to support particularly enthusiastic? them, even when it means a slightly higher priceAlthough the main problem, says Dickenson, tag. That being said, I was excited to see what new are the angry boyfriends he faces, he admits the products and deals Taboo had to offer. performances sometimes get lively. “I had this Unfortunately, shopping at Taboo wasn’t all girl, her name was Button; she was a performer that exciting. First of all, the prices did not apand had seen my demo a couple of times and pear to be at all discounted, which for some wanted to try it out, and I think she liked the at- reason surprised me. Even when a deal looked tention up on stage. She got right into it,” says really good, like two glass dildos for $50 (or $40

By Sarah Vitet

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

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for one), there was always a reason for me to hesitate. I don’t need two glass dildos, and if I wanted one I could get it for a similar price at a local store, in a wider variety of styles. The convention was buzzing with sales pressure, though it was somewhat alleviated by the employees in sexy outfits.

Although there were many lovely women walking around doing their jobs, the majority of the crowd was comprised of larger middleaged couples wearing dazed smiles, wandering around picking up toys more commonly found in the least sex-positive porn shops (meaning: brands I wouldn’t trust to put inside a vagina or anus). There were a couple of trustworthy companies on display (such as We Vibe, Lelo and Jimmyjane), though I could only find limited models.

The space itself felt quite sex-positive, despite the odd creepy loner man; people of all shapes and sizes were represented in playful latex and coloured mesh outfits. “You see people in the oddest kinds of getups,” says Dickenson. “Like last night, we had a bunch of furries here.”

The room itself, however, lacked ambiance.

Held at the Convention centre in what basically amounted to a giant room, the lighting was dimmed, making it hard to focus on any one thing and easy to feel sleepy (much like bedtime sex when the lights are off).

Each day of the conference offered to teach you basic bondage, anal, and dirty talk, as well as ways to generally improve your sex life in the period of an hour or so. There was also a main stage with various entertainment acts. I watched a burlesque dancer from the Razzle Tazzle Tease Show do a carnival-esque creepy/sexy dance in a dress made entirely from yellow dish gloves (for those rubber chicken fetishists). ✖ ✖ ✖ One of the few local stores present was Little Sister's, who have a location on Davie street in Vancouver. They were sharing the booth with

Fun Facts!

Taken from the Taboo show guide 2/3 of people kiss with their eyes closed 30% of men say they orgasm too soon 1 in 10 women have never had an orgasm 1 in 10 women regularly have multiple orgasms An average person spends two weeks of their life kissing The average speed of ejaculation is 20mph

another local store, Sweet Adult Boutique. Little Sisters is a strong local advocate for both gay pride and freedom of information, and in 2000 they even went as far as the Supreme Court of Canada to fight against Canadian Customs’ right to censor literature at the border. “With ample obscenity legislation in place within Canada,” says the Little Sister’s website, “the delicate decision making process of what material is allowed and what is banned in this country should not be left to whims of Customs officers.” I was glad to see at least one prominent Vancouver sex toy retailer represented at Taboo. The Little Sister's booth was by far the most diverse in terms of gender as well as apparent sexual orientation.

As I’d been wondering how it felt to be dressed revealingly all day in such a public environment, I was happy for the opportunity to talk to Sydney Gregoire, who was helping Little Sister's out for the show. “It’s been wonderful,” she assures me right away. “I guess there are a lot of people who are stepping outside of their comfort zone this weekend and it’s been really nice to be able to experience that with them … People are taking pictures of my butt, but I’m still not offended by it! This is a nice, comfortable, honest place. I think it’s the moment I walk out of that door and it’s not the same mentality as it is in here, then I feel awkward outside.”

F e atu r e s

I’M WORTH MORE THAN THIS The job market sucks, but you can still be the person who gets hired

By Samantha Thompson // editor-in-chief

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niversity is supposed to be a place of higher education. It is here that you are meant to challenge definitions and think for yourself. It is meant to be a place that you come to because you enjoy learning.

Failing that, university is the place that people come to in order to get a degree so that they are given the key to unlock the door to well-paying jobs and dream careers. Yet there is a concern that degrees have become commonplace, and that a piece of paper for your parents to display proudly on their wall is no longer enough.

Unemployment sits at a rate of 7.5 per cent nationally and the economy is coming out of a recession, but unfortunately, it seems as though the people most concerned with this unsettling trend are, obviously, the people without jobs.

However, on Jan. 20, the three generations that came together at the XYBOOM conference aimed to challenge this perception. The conference, which took place in downtown Vancouver, brought together over 200 people from three generations: the Baby Boomers, Gen X, and Gen Y. The event aimed to break down perceptions and stereotypes the generations had about each other, particularly in relation to the job market.

“If we had a solution, I don’t know that we’d be here today,” says Tammy Tsang, Executive Director of XYBOOM, in the opening panel of the conference.

Although unemployment is slowly declining, there is no guarantee that graduation guarantees us our dream job. As the conference emphasized, oftentimes the piece of paper alone is not enough to get you the job you’ve always wanted. Which leaves us still with a very unsettling thought: are we on the right path? And, most importantly, where are we supposed to go next?

a variety of different fields, and hosted panels and discussions on everything from problems with the job market to the importance of inter-generational conversation.

“You kind of see it bloom into what you’ve worked so hard towards, which is meaningful conversation [and] inter-generational solutionbased results, and that’s the most beneficial part of running a conference of this size: you get the opportunity to work with the team for over a year, and then you get to really grow together and then you are all working towards one similar goal, which is finding a solution.”

Although finding a solution to such a pressing problem immediately is impossible, a majority of participants appeared to be excited by the conference and the conversations that were taking place – which was emphasized by the overwhelmingly positive Twitter feed.

“Almost everybody said that they were satisfied with the conference … most of them said they had been re-inspired to do something about this issue,” says Tsang. “So, I do believe we were able to positively impact the public, the way we sought out to.”

According to StatsCan, youth unemployment (ages 15-24) is currently at 14.1 per cent, which is equivalent to almost half a million people. This is noteworthy, especially as unemployment drops down to 6.2 per cent for people aged 25-54.

Unemployment and underemployment is a problem, but the solution is a difficult one.

People are retiring later, seniors are returning to work for the benefit of social interaction, and there is a skills shortage which resulted in 178,640 temporary foreign workers being brought into Canada in 2009 alone. On top of it all, more people are leaving B.C. than those who are staying. The demands on the job market are heavy, and yet we still have a high unemployment rate.

Certainly, we’re working towards degrees because a post-secondary education is supposed to help us get our foot in the door, to be the thing that differentiates us from everyone else who didn’t shell out ridiculous amounts of money for a degree. As the job market becomes frequently more competitive, though, graduates are finding themselves in jobs they didn’t want, all because the degree alone is no longer enough.

YOUR DEGREE; WORTH IT?

The XYBOOM conference came together because a group of individuals saw that there was a significant problem with youth unemployment rates, and that a solution needed to be found, quickly.

“It was really obvious that this was an issue that wasn’t being addressed, and any individuals either did not want to address it or did not have time to address it,” says Tsang.

She and her peers came up with the concept of an inter-generational conference, and then successfully applied for funding from Services Canada. The event brought together experts from

IN AN ENDLESS CYCLE When looking at advertisements for your “dream job”, it can be disheartening because the skills they require are nowhere near to the skill level you are currently at. The biggest problem is when jobs request five to ten years experience in the field – something that is impossible to gain if no one will hire you at entry level.

Yet, there are alternatives. Tsang, who also founded her own company, My Loud Speaker, established the company so that her peers would eventually have the opportunity to move on to other jobs because it would provide them with experience on their resume.

“My company … was founded because a lot of my peers were unemployed. It was kind of a solution to employ some of them and help them find bigger, better jobs because there was a minimum required two years experience,” says Tsang.

However, being the best candidate for the position relies on a lot more than work experience – you have to be able to prove that you know what you’re talking about because you’ve done it yourself.

“Gain as much real world experience as possible … It’s important to get that ‘A’ and know what you’re studying,” says Tsang, “but it’s also very important to actually gain experience: instead of just knowing how to talk about it, you know how to do it. The workplace will challenge you in that way; it’s all about what you do and less about what you say.”

// Illustrations by Sarah Taylor “If you’re doing something you hate, there will be no reward,” one of the panelists pointed out. “What your reward is, it’s going to change over time.”

It is important to be open with your employers and let them know what is going to make a difference for you. Even if the job you have now isn’t the one you want in the long run, it can still help you by giving you a skill set that can be transferred into a different field later on. One of the panellists found it very easy to go from being a correctional officer to a flight attendant, pointing out that they had the same transferable skill set which made her an ideal candidate for the position.

As students at a post-secondary institution, we have a unique set of tools and opportunities available to us right here on campus. One of the resources includes Capilano’s Student Employment Services, where students go to get a variety of information, including how to find a job post-graduation, which companies are receptive to students, creating a resume, discovering skill sets, and resolving work-related conflicts.

“Don’t be afraid to reach out to the variety of experts that you have on campus, from your profs to your counsellors … not in the obnoxious ‘I’m trying to get a job' way, but in the way that you actually want to build relationships,” says Tsang.

“It’s through truthful relationships that you’ll get far, not through networking by just handing them your card.”

“In order to get ahead, it’s unfortunately who you know as well, and … you get to know more people by actually getting out there as much as possible.”

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

Even though we don’t have a solution for the unemployment problem, we can be proactive and use all the tools we have to help ensure that we end up where we want to be in our careers. Generations aside, unemployment is something that affects all of us. The sooner we recognize that, the closer we will be to finding answers to all of the burning questions we have about the future.

“The labour market continues to be very unstable, and it is difficult to predict when this may change,” says Somerville. “The best defense for unemployment will always be education. It will continue to be very challenging to secure meaningful employment without a post-secondary degree.”

The most important thing to realize is that we’re HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY GET A JOB in a different era of employment. It’s new and exBecause of the high unemployment rate, employ- citing, but because everyone is still figuring it out, it ers can afford to be picky when selecting their is also hard. The least any of us can do is try. new employees. When speaking about employ“I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for all ability skills, the panelists suggested that if you the things that I’ve gone through, and I am thankshow to your employer that you need a job, they ful for all the obstacles that I’ve gone through bewon’t want you. Conversely, if you demonstrate cause it makes you a more dynamic person,” says that you want the job, they’re more likely to want Tsang. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, you want you because you’re going to be passionate about to fail as much as possible, so that you burn … what you’re doing instead of simply showing up [It’s how you get] the most robust knowledge and in order to pay the bills. experience.”

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THREE GENERATIONS, ONE FUTURE

“The value of an education is huge, but there are so many more factors,” one of the panelists pointed out as participants began discussing the shifting dynamics of the job market.

They pointed out that it is important to remember that the top executives didn’t start at the top – they began at the bottom and worked their way up. If you can get your foot in the door, you can demonstrate what you can do.

Unfortunately, there is a gap between what you’re being taught in school versus what employers are actually looking for.

“Your university is doing everything they can to get you a job once you graduate,” says Tsang, adding that upon graduation, all those opportunities quickly disappear.

Statistics show that post-secondary education does affect your probability of getting a job, to some degree. 61.8 per cent of people who graduated high school are employed, 60.3 per cent with some post secondary education, 71 per cent with a certificate or a diploma, 74.5 per cent with a Bachelor’s degree, and 75.4 per cent of people who have continued their educa-

tion beyond a Bachelor’s degree are employed.

Although the statistics are promising, the panelists emphasized that you can’t expect to graduate with a degree alone and get hired, but the value of a degree should not be underestimated.

“Do not forgo post-secondary education, if at all possible,” says Shoshana Somerville, the Employability Coach at Capilano’s Student Employment Services. “University degrees are absolutely worth it.”

Somerville recommends that students gain experience through volunteering, working parttime, summer jobs, and internships. While she acknowledges that education should come first, “it is essential to learn effective time management skills to make education a priority and get work experience.”

“If you don’t have a degree, you won’t even be considered for a lot of positions, so in that regard I think it is quite important to have it,” says Tsang.

“Maybe in the way that we’ve perceived it, as the 'end all', may not be accurate anymore. It’s important to have that degree; whether it’s the ticket to your dream job or to a job in general, I don’t necessarily believe that anymore. I do believe that it is one of the mandatory items you must have in addition to experience.”

“Experience and education go hand-in-hand,” says Somerville. “Employers look for both qualities. You won’t get very far if you have one without the other.”

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EDIT OR // Cl aire Vul l iamy // arts @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

I LEFT MY HEART WITH TONY BENNETT

Arts Briefs

Jazz legend visits Vancouver Khatia Buniatishvili Jan. 23 – Chan Centre

By JJ Brewis // Art director

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egendary is not a term to throw around.

But for long-time jazz great Tony Bennett, the word legend seems to be the only appropriate term at this point. Not only is he one of the most substantial players in his field, earning him major credits with fans and critics alike, but his sheer performance value has remained consistent for over five decades of playing, earning him the title of a true music legend.

Bennett has played with and performed with all the greats, from Judy Garland, to Elton John, to Amy Winehouse.

Performing a fraction of the hundreds of songs he’s recorded over his momentous career, Bennett wowed a sold-out crowd at the Red Robinson Show Theatre during a national tour promoting his most recent album Duets II – his first Billboard number one album. The music industry may be a fickle thing, but it’s proven over the past 60 years that there has always been a place for Tony Bennett – with 70 albums, 15 Grammy awards, and countless singles under his belt, Bennett has surpassed most of his peers with effortless ease.

As soon as he emerged onstage, Bennett captivated his crowd. I must admit that in my years of seeing live music, I have never had the rush of excitement that ran through me when Tony Bennett walked out from stage right with his arms outstretched. Even before he had a chance to begin a song, the entire audience was on its feet awarding him with the first of several standing ovations of the evening. Even the elderly folk beside us who had a harder time standing up made the effort for Tony. Bennett appears unfazed by the charms of fame, however, and seemed genuinely surprised, or at least grateful,

for the reaction, countlessly thanking the crowd for their gesture.

Perched in my front-row seat, I felt lucky to see the last man standing of the old greats – all Bennett’s peers have long since passed, and he’s found a second wind for himself recording with contemporaries like Michael Buble and Mariah Carey. Tony Bennett shows the endurance and über-relevancy when he takes a classic song like the Gershwin’s “Who Cares (as Long as You Care For Me)”, and calls it a “song for right now” which talks about living carefree in love despite the state of the world (“Who cares how history rates me?

Long as your kiss intoxicates me!”).

The set was a good reminder about what Tony Bennett came from: all music, no filler. Where artists nowadays depend on smoke and mirrors in all shapes and forms, Bennett is a true artist in that, aside from a few spot lightings, there is no technical side of his stage show setup. His voice and his personality stand for themselves, and the crowd was happy to have this bare-bones setup.

In between songs, Bennett would regale the theatre with stories about personalities from eras gone by, from film siren Jane Russell to soul star Stevie Wonder. Bennett introduced “How Do You Keep The Music Playing?” with a story about attending a Frank Sinatra concert and being spotted incognito in the audience before Sinatra asked him to join him onstage for the song (“When he told you to do something, man, you better do it!”).

Bennett also showed his current relevance when he dedicated his sly hit “Steppin’ Out” to Lady Gaga, with whom he sang with on Duets II. “She’s got a great voice,” he told the crowd. “What a performer!” Any time Bennett paid homage to one of his colleagues, it felt like an honestto-god story for the sake of storytelling, not a name drop.

// Katie So Bennett doesn’t have a hard time sharing the spotlight, though. Throughout the set, each of his band members performed a lengthy solo, after which Tony would shout their name with approval, and compliment them along the lines of “I told you he’s the best!” Bennett seemed nearly teary-eyed when he mentioned film star Charlie Chaplin, who wrote him a hand written letter thanking him for bringing his own song “Smile” back to popularity when Bennett re-recorded it in 1959, and then closed the show with the tune to another enduring standing ovation.

At 85, Bennett shows no signs of slowing down.

When his daughter, Antonia Bennett joined him on stage for a duet of “I’ve Got Rhythm”, he didn't hesitate to join her in a choreographed dance number during the vocal break. During one of the show’s most touching moments, Bennett told the crowd that he would be celebrating a milestone in his career with the upcoming 50th anniversary of the release of his signature tune, “I Left My Heart In San Francisco”. The song, for which Bennett won his first Grammy Award in 1963, was a huge hit with the crowd, bringing a few nostalgic tears to the eyes in the audience.

It’s an unbelievable thing to see a man of Bennett’s age still so filled with passion for his craft. His voice still soars to the highest ranges hit in songs recorded decades ago, and he smiles and claps after each of his own songs, seeming almost appreciative at the crowd’s applause as much as they are for his playing.

Bennett seems quite self-aware, though. When a fan came down the stairs mid-song to drop a note on stage, Bennett cut away from the song for just a moment, to say to his pianist, “You see that?

She left you a letter.” During one of the more uptempo tracks, Bennett did a quick spin and then faked hurting his leg, poking fun at his age, which, at this point, seems to be just a number.

What can you say about a solo piano recital? A whole lot, and as Khatia Buniatishvili showed last Monday night at the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts, there is a huge difference between an average local performer and a young international virtuoso.

Buniatishvili would be on the extreme side of the latter. At just 24 years of age, this pianist from Georgia has taken the classical music world by storm with her freshly energetic, maniacally passionate technical playing. In 2011, she released her first solo album on Sony Classical, which was entirely from Franz Liszt's repertoire.

Some unseasoned listeners might expect a solo piano recital to be dry and lacking in excitement, but they would be proven wrong once experiencing the bombastic and vibrant nature of a player like Buniatishvili and the exceptionally ambitious repertoire she performed. The first piece she played was the Sonata for Piano no. 33 in C-minor by Haydn; pretty standard repertoire as far as solo piano goes, but it’s the other three pieces that were the ones to write home about.

With the dramatic Liszt Piano Sonata in B-minor, Buniatishvili displayed perfectly all the various moods of the music, showing her musical versatility. It was great to see a pianist really cut loose but still have full control in this relentless, yet sometimes subdued, masterpiece. Even her overuse of pedal somehow only added to the fury that this piece had to offer, although it seems that for the next two pieces she could have used a little less.

Prokofiev’s Piano Sonata no. 7 in B flatmajor and Stravinsky’s Three Movements from Petrushka were the last two pieces of the program, both 20th century repertoire.

It was mind blowing that someone so young was even playing these pieces in the first place, but it seemed as though she hadn’t completely grown into them yet; she overused the pedal yet again where it would have sounded better without, and rushed certain sections which caused phrases to be cut short. She probably should have played them at 90 per cent of the speed.

That said, it was still very impressive playing. She executed the percussive sections of both pieces with great exuberance and precision, save for a few wrong notes in the chords which she would have most likely nailed if it was slightly slowed down.

Overall, it was a knockout concert. It will be interesting to see what her output will be for the next few years, and it will not be the least bit surprising to see her eventually rise up to the ranks of Maurizio Pollini or Martha Argerich.

By Michael Kirchmayer // Writer

A r ts

Art That Comes To You Subscription delivers unique art for cheap

By Victoria Fawkes // writer

S

tudents have notoriously empty living spaces, and even emptier bank accounts.

But nowadays, there are tons of options that can banish your bare walls and leave you with delightfully decorated digs. Beyond posters and magazine clippings, one such option is Montreal-based Papirmasse, a website where you can subscribe to a monthly delivery of art prints in the mail for exactly $5 a month.

Papirmasse was founded by artist Kristen McCRea in 2008. After graduating from art school in Montreal, McCrea found herself surrounded by beautiful, inspiring, and most of all, expensive pieces of art everywhere she looked.

“I was freshly out of art school and working at a restaurant. I was really taken with the beautiful prints on the walls, but they were $2,000 each,” says McCrea. “I thought, ‘I can’t even afford to eat in this fancy restaurant I work in, let alone buy any art in it’,” she remembers.

From this revelation, McCrea realized that it was her duty to make art accessible to as many people as possible. “I wanted to start something that makes contemporary art available to anyone who wants it,” she says.

Papirmasse especially provides an avenue for emerging artists to share their work on a larger scale: any artist may submit their application through the website. “It’s been a great way for people to connect with the Canadian art scene,” says McCrea. From graffiti-inspired prints to beautiful landscapes, it’s clear that one of the

most unique things about Papirmasse is the different genres of art offered. “There’s such a range of artwork in Canada, so we try to switch it up from one month to the next to give people a taste of everything,” explains McCrea.

While the majority of artists featured are Canadian, Papirmasse’s variety has expanded past those borders. Papirmasse has featured international artists that specialize in everything from digital media, to photography, to collage. Each featured artist contributes his or her original work to be printed by Papirmasse, which is then distributed monthly to 700 subscribers in over 20 countries, making it a truly international project.

McCrea also has unexpected feelings on her subscribers’ opinions of the art they receive: “I want people to get one piece of art that they absolutely love, and one that they absolutely hate.

That way, they’re getting variety,” she said.

In addition to the printed image on the front, subscribers receive a written feature on the back.

Whether a poem or prose, each featured print comes complete with an original message from a writer who also must apply in order to have their work published. By combining a printed image and a piece of writing, Paprimasse shows its commitment to offering their subscribers every kind of art, whether visual or written.

“I think the best thing is that it’s a great way to engage in contemporary art on a regular basis,” said McCrea.

Papirmasse is not the only project that aims to provide art on a more accessible level. The Cheaper Show is a one-night-only, annual

Vancouver art show where everything is just that: cheaper. Like Papirmasse, the Cheaper Show aims for variety with 400 curated pieces from 200 international artists, all fixed at a price point of $200. The Cheaper Show provides an avenue for both known and unknown artists to showcase their art alongside each other and to gain connections within the local art community.

Papirmasse can be similarly advantageous for the artist. “[It] is great exposure for everyone, both for artists and those interested in art,” says Victoria Wiercinski, Papirmasses’s featured artist for December 2011. In the very last month of 2011, Wiercinski’s “Folk Flowers” poster design was chosen as Papirmasse’s featured print.

// Karen Picketts Wiercinski’s Polish folk art print was inspired by her own heritage. “I’m Polish by heritage. I lust after Polish food and love Polish traditions, so it’s a part of me culturally,” she says.

When describing what Papirmasse does for the subscriber, Wiercinski is enthusiastic: “It’s such a great idea, everyone needs to have artwork in their house!” She highlights the fact that prints are not always so cheap. “I think that quality original illustrations tend to cost money, so it’s great that Papirmasse creates prints that everyone can afford.”

Wiercinski can sum up her feelings towards Papirmasse easily: “With Papirmasse, you get joy in the mail every single month!”

All The World’s A Stage Open mic nights in Vancouver are bountiful

By Liam Park // Writer

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f you’ve ever entertained a rock star dream, even for a moment, there’s a place for you.

Vancouver is teeming with open mic nights, where anyone can come, sign up, and perform in a casual setting. These nights are a great place for a rising musician to test their material and their legs in front of an audience, while also being introduced to a community of supportive musicians. Here are three popular open mic nights that showcase what Vancouver has to offer.

Vapour Lounge Registration between 8-9pm Every Tuesday night at the British Columbia Marijuana Party Vapour Lounge, there's magic in the air inspiring Jams in the Key of Green.

"There are no wrong notes in inspiration, there are no wrong notes in the key of green" says Adam Bowen, the founder of this casual open mic. Anyone and everyone is welcome to jam as long as they get their name on the sign up sheet or into Adam's head.

Adam has been organizing open mic nights at the Vapour Lounge since just before Marijuana Party leader Marc Emery was incarcerated in the States two and a half years ago. Without Adam, the annual 420 celebrations at the Art Gallery would not be what we know now, and the open mic is a valuable way for Adam to scout potential

all-vegetarian restaurant on Commercial Drive with regular live performances including music and poetry.

Matt Bryant, who runs the open mic in its most recent form, works tirelessly over cables and plays MC, encouraging the legions of uncertain and unacquainted attendees to sit with someone new. While there are regular attendees, according to several musicians, the lottery system keeps playing opportunity fair by drawing names at random from a pitcher, and keeping remaining names in for next week's draw.

The jam is open to new players; however, the long evolution of this open mic makes the pressure for quality seem stronger. Rudy Hogg of Vancouver folk band The Lucindas says, "Got your shit together? Then test the waters live." His group, and the other artists marching the stage throughout the night definitely did.

Whether you're trying to get a following to publicize your first album, you’ve just learned your first song on guitar, or you want to sail into the sunset with someone you just met, there are communities ready to accept you and your sound in varying degrees and colours of sobriety. In the worst case scenario, you have cheap entertainment at the cost of witnessing a few unfortunate Wonderwall or Hallelujah covers; conversely, you could find yourself performing at the 420 celebrations in Vancouver this April.

Whatever your experience with the local open mics, it should be a good one.

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Tuesday

talent to perform at the event.

The music pallet is diverse, from the standard open jam blues-and-folk to some of the strangest psychedelic sound collages around. "At one point there were seven guys playing who had never met before," observed Kevin, a regular audience member.

With apparent inspiration from iconic bands like the Grateful Dead, solos are often drawn out.

Other artists perform mediums such as freestyle rap, and more. The audience and community is somewhere between rapture, conversation, and uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Of the $5 per hour collected from the guests at the Vapour Lounge, half of it goes to a differ// Sarah Vitet ent charity every week; on Jan. 17 it went to the Vancouver East Side Women's Centre. case. Sorry Babushka's open mic is a judgmentfree, welcoming, and intimate atmosphere ideal Wednesday for a new solo performer looking for some stage Sorry Babushka experience and more involved musicians seekPossibly the newest open mic in Vancouver’s ing community. There's no cover, and they make scene started at Sorry Babushka, a small bar great caesars. on Commercial about two and a half months Thursday ago. AJ Ottaway, founder of Sorry Babushka's Wednesday open mic has a vision of a romantic Café Deux Soleils past in which the artists of Commercial Drive While at Sorry Babushka, an audience memfostered a great supportive community. He re- ber mentioned: "This one's just getting started, cords all the artists who perform and offers his Cafe Deux Soleils is the premier open mic on services to edit the recordings for the artists with the strip." very reasonable rates.

Reviews like this are nothing new for this AJ and the community he's fostering don't care long-running open mic night. Sure enough, with if it's your first time playing for an audience; in the open mic's seven-year history, the café is fact, he would encourage you to play if this is the swarming with people. Cafe Deux Soleils is an

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Arts

TEEN DREAM Capilano professor finds value in young adult fiction

By Alecia Casselman // Writer

T

een fiction is often underestimated in the literary world, but for some people it provides an avenue to write about what they really love. Capilano University Continuing Education professor Eileen Cook held a reading of her newest novel Unraveling Isobel at the North Vancouver Public Library on Jan. 18. This will be Eileen's ninth published novel, while she continues to work as a career counsellor and writing instructor.

Unraveling Isobel is the story of a young girl whose life has been dramatically changed by her mother's marriage and their move to a spooky manor on an isolated island. Isobel questions her own grip on reality as strange things start happening all around her. It is told in first person by the book's heroine, and follows her personal adventures as she takes on a new school, a cranky step brother, and creepy estate with a dark history. Bestselling author Lisa McMann of the Wake trilogy calls Unraveling Isobel “thrilling and creepy, super sexy, and so very hilarious.”

Cook’s first novel, Unpredictable, an adult romantic comedy about a woman who poses as a psychic in an attempt to win back her boyfriend, has even been optioned for film by New Line Cinema. Even though her first book was for adults, Cook has mainly switched over to the teen genre: “I think the most exciting stuff that's happening is happening in teen literature,” she says.

“There's an intensity that comes with being a teen that goes away as an adult. I love writing for teens because of that intensity.”

Eileen grew up in an era where there was no teen fiction. As an early lover of reading, she talked about how she had to walk from the children's section into the adult section because there really was nothing in between. Her first experience with the supernatural genre was when she read Stephen King's Salem's Lot. She was drawn to it because the librarian warned her that it would be too scary. While she wound up sleeping with the lights on, she also had an important realization: “I wanted to make people feel something real with something I had made up.” It was the first time she knew she wanted to be a writer; she was ten years old.

columns

Of course, there is quite a difference between dreaming of writing and actually getting published. Cook explains, “Being a writer was like being a princess or an astronaut; I needed to get a real job.” She became a career counsellor, specializing in helping people with injuries return to the work force. It's a job she enjoys and maintains even now, but she still felt the need to write.

Cook enrolled at Capilano University after being encouraged by her husband to take writing classes. There she was given some very helpful advice by one the professors. When she expressed nervousness at sending in her work, she was told, “You're already not published, the worst thing that can happen is you'll still not be published.” It was this advice that motivated her to submit her work.

The very first novel that Cook wrote was rejected by the publishers, but rather than letting it defeat her, she takes a stance of acceptance, advising young writers, “Rejection is just part of the process.” Cook also warns students that they will need to have a “thick skin” in order to survive. “It takes a period of time to learn to write,” she says.

Cook also emphasizes the importance of

➽

staying true to one’s own method. “Be // Alexandra Gordeyeva careful as a new writer about people telling you what to do; you have to figure out what works for you,” she says. Overall, the most important thing is to take the time to write. Cook’s personal method is to have a word count for every week. If she completes her word count early, she can take a break from writing and go out on the weekends; if not, she stays in.

What's next for Eileen Cook? Well, she has a new book that will be coming out in December called Almost Truth. It is the story of a teenage con artist and her scheme to pose as a missing girl, which leads to discoveries about her own past. It will be out in December 2012.

To find out more about Eileen Cook and her books, check her website eileencook.com. Follow her on her blog to check for updates on upcoming releases. You can also sign up for her upcoming workshop “Character Creation” through Capilano University.

EDIT ORS // Samant ha Thompson + Sarah Vit et // e di to r@ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Keepin’ it reel With Jonty Davies

Girl power

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hether included as an enticement to men or an appeal to women, when kickass woman are featured in film, they often attain iconic status. There’s a fascination with overt female strength in film that transcends mere sexual allure: a celebration of true feminine strength, I like to think.

Consider David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. It’s the American remake of the original adaptation of a Swedish bestselling novel. Its status as a remake, however, is far from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’s defining characteristic. As in typical Fincher fashion, it is a very controlled and atmospheric adventure into the hearts and minds of strong and flawed characters. A modern noir, the film follows disgraced magazine editor Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) as he’s hired to investigate a cold-case murder within a very rich and very dysfunctional family.

It starts off with a bang – an ultra-kinetic title sequence that features perverse, though extremely abstract, imagery over a ripping electronic cover of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song by score composer Trent Reznor (now an Oscar winner for his work on last year’s The Social Network, also directed by David Fincher) and Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. This is immediately noteworthy as reminiscent of a James Bond opener injected with crystal meth and nightmares. Such comparisons are further pervaded when the very first person you see is the current James Bond himself, Daniel Craig.

Despite these very distinctive qualities, there is one aspect of the film (in all of its international incarnations) that stands it out strongly: Lisbeth Salander. Lisbeth is the asocial computer hacker who joins Blomkvist in the investigation, eventually starting a romantic relationship with

// Columnist

// JJ Brewis

1960s invited much cinematic contribution from women, especially regarding the shedding of sexual repressions and resisting patriarchal violence as seen in Barbara Loden’s Wanda (1970).

2009’s Best Picture-winning The Hurt Locker earned its director Kathryn Bigelow the Best Director Oscar. It was the first time that award has gone to a woman in the history of the Oscars.

Jonty’s Top Female Characters In Cinema

3. Sarah Connor – The Terminator (Linda Hamilton): James Cameron’s The Terminator sees the mild mannered Sarah Connor pursued by a killer robot from the future. She doesn’t really understand why at first, but another, less robotic future visitor explains that her unborn child will end up being the leader of the human race in its global war against sentient machines. It then becomes her job to defeat the current killer robot and all future killer robots while preparing her whiny him. The titular Girl, Lisbeth is the product of a brat of a son for the robo-violence ahead, all of traumatic childhood of institutionalization and which she does with evolving prowess. Over abuse, and though awkward and diminutive in the course of the series she goes from running size, she is a powerhouse of female intensity scared to acting tough as nails. Even Arnold can’t and revenge. stop her.

The film (and to a greater extent the series) 2. The Bride – Kill Bill (Uma Thurman): Quendeals quite heavily with sexual abuse, attempttin Tarantino directed Kill Bill with everything he ing to dispel rape myths while confronting their had, mixing in every global trope and touch like realities. Lisbeth is the central figure of this treata manic DJ. Though it’s a little all over the place, ment, acting as her own foil – she’s at once meek it’s held together by the very strong and central and taken advantage of, only to exact extremely Bride character. She slices her way around the hostile revenge on those who have exploited her world in search of her child and her revenge, and and other women. along the way there’s never one second that you Outside cinema’s fictional plane, women doubt she’s going to succeed. haven’t always been met with the highest recognition but have been of steadily growing impor- 1. Ellen Ripley – Alien (Sigourney Weaver): tance. Female directors were of some significance The alien from the movie Alien and its variously within the French avant-garde movement and awesome follow-ups is surely the most terrifying the advent of second-wave Feminism in the late monster in movie history. It’s a parasitic 8-foot

space monster with acid for blood that kills on sight and is generally unpleasant. Basically, no one has ever encountered one and not died a horrible death except one person: Ripley. And she can’t get away from the darn things. Her entire adult life has been spent reluctantly fighting and escaping these things and yet they dog her at every turn, forcing her into some serious action. The most strongly feminine moment in the saga? Ripley dons a robotic exoskeleton to fistfight the Queen alien so she can get back her surrogate daughter from the clutches of the hive. It’s ultimately badass, and it does not end well for the aliens.

It could be argued that these kinds of characters are intended to sexualize a movie targeted mainly towards men, but one cannot really consider movies in terms of being targeted towards men or women as that immediately reinforces very negative double standards (with the exception of fare like Fast & Furious or Sex & The City which are both negligible additions to the global artistic canon and do reinforce such double standards). Obviously there is a sexual element to these characterizations, but there is an inherent sexual element in all lead characterizations, male or female. To dismiss these characters as mere sex objects demeans the entire role of strong female leads. They all represent a deliberate manifestation of the film’s intent.

Jonty Davies, like most, is a pretty big fan of movies. His favorite genre according to Netflix is “visually striking dark dramas" but he loves a good "visually striking dark comedy" too. When not writing about films, he likes to make dark little ones of his own.

C o lu mn s Business time

Advertising is A-OK!

E

ver since I considered going into marketing as a career, I couldn’t stop asking myself if it was an ethical profession. Basically, in the end, does marketing make the world a better or a worse place? After speaking with Peter Kambo, a successful director at one of Canada’s top marketing companies, I feel that there is a net benefit to the world from marketing. For the record, I acknowledge that I was persuaded by a professional persuader.

When asked whether he thought advertisers were deceptive, Mr. Kambo replied, “I think when you look back to the old days of advertising, there definitely was some deception, and advertisers could get away with a lot more. But in this day and age, with ASC (Advertising Standards Council) and other advertising standards boards, there are good regulations in place to ensure advertisers are as truthful as possible in their communications.” It’s not an industry where anything goes; there are rules to be adhered to; rules that are especially strict (and rightfully so) surrounding the marketing of potentially dangerous products.

For example, tobacco advertising is severely restricted in Canada. Tobacco advertisers are forbidden to associate their products with young people or any sort of lifestyle in their promotion (like showing a snowboarder smoking a Marlboro), they can’t advertise on television, outdoor banners, or in any publication that has a primarily young audience, and they can’t use any endorsements or testimonials.

Promoting alcohol also has a long list of restrictions regarding advertising that is laid down

// Britta Bachus by each province. Tobacco and alcohol are far from the only items that have advertising regulations: cosmetics, natural food products, and even “Made In Canada” stickers are all required to obey federal and provincial laws.

Unfortunately, government regulation is sometimes the only thing that can make advertisers more truthful in their promotions. Take the recent case of deceptive airline advertising: left to their own devices for years, airline companies have advertised the prices for flights way below what they actually cost. This week, however, they will be forced by the Department of Transportation to fully disclose the full price of a flight (price + all applicable taxes). Thanks to government intervention, consumers are no longer being misled.

Going beyond the issue of promoting harmful products, I have always been captivated by this argument: advertising creates false wants and forces you to buy what you don’t really need.

With Jeff Maertz // Columnist

Mr. Kambo addresses this by saying, “Human beings are consumers by nature, and the more we make, the more we will consume and spend on goods we may not really need. If you think about it, all humans need to survive is food and shelter, yet we desire to accumulate as much wealth and goods as possible.”

We buy things that we don’t need, there’s no controversy there. But does advertising really cause this? If we have the extra money, why not satisfy a few wants? When you see an ad, it’s not as if you’re controlled by it – people have free will. It is human nature to desire more than what we need to merely survive.

However, sometimes our desires start to consume our life and put us in the work/spend cycle.

It’s the idea that we buy a car so we can get to work to pay for the car. I always get a chill down my spine when I hear Tyler Durden from Chuck Palahnuik’s Fight Club say, “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.”

This is especially true these days, when people pay for expensive lifestyles with money they don’t even have. Canada is seeing record levels of household debt, with a 2010 debt-to-income ratio at 150 per cent. That means that for every $100 a Canadian earns, they on-average owe $150. Advertisers can assume some responsibility for this vast over-consumption, but in the end, individuals are responsible for living within their means.

Imagine a world without advertising: you would drive across the Lion’s Gate Bridge

listening to the waves crashing below and peer out into the ocean blue instead of listening to radio ads and being distracted by a giant digital billboard. In this ideal world, there would be no radio (well, maybe the CBC would still be playing), television would suck, and the Internet would not exist as we know it. Oh, and that bus shelter that keeps you dry? It probably wouldn’t be there. Money from advertising supports media, entertainment, events, and all kinds of other good things (the Vancouver Olympics received an estimated $760 million dollars from corporate sponsorships – covering just under half the cost of the games). I’m just as annoyed by banner ads and sponsored links as the next guy, but I accept this as a small price to pay for using Google. Advertising dollars drive technological innovation by providing a payout for the entrepreneur who sacrificed years of their life to get their internet start-up running.

Mr. Kambo summarizes it nicely: “Advertisers are merely trying to create demand and consumer desire for their products.” The job of a marketer is to tell the people about what’s available, and whether or not they act on their desire, is up to the consumer.

Jeff Maertz is a fourth year student of the Capilano school of business with a focus on marketing. Over the next few months, he will touch on topics ranging from small businesses to examining the effect current events may have on students. He is aiming to make the business world accessible and relevant, regardless of their field of study.

LOVE AWKWARDLY

EPISODE II: The Truth in Lies

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// Columnist

the blanket-sweater, his eyes shifting from left to right. I got the impression that he had not done this many times before. I hated to make him feel like a number, but I couldn't even count the number of times I've been on a one-off date with someone that didn't go any further. It's the nature of these things.

I often compare going on dates to taking a trip to Value Village: you're going to have to flip through countless hopeless-looking garments before stumbling upon the one thing that fits perfectly. At any rate, the evening was off to a terrible start.

“I'm not actually 25,” he said. “I'm 24.” I gave him a look that clearly showed no sign of relief, and he eventually worked his way down to the truth that he was in fact 18 years old. Being almost ten years his senior, my feelings of irritancy immediately changed to feeling like a creepy old man.

The rest of the date didn't last long, as we had barely anything in common to talk about. He did come clean though, and explain to me that he wasn't a second-year Pharmacy student, but a fresh-out-of-high-school employee of the same drugstore chain that I worked at when I was his age; I guess I saw a bit of myself in him for that.

I may once have oversold myself, or completely repackaged my story for the sake of someone else being more interested in it. It made me sad, but I was also still hung up on the idea of buying into a complete bullshit story and being made a fool of.

In most situations, I'm very capable of taking care of myself, and making an honest, informed

decision about how I'm going to behave in a way that will be fair to everyone. I think in the context of this date, I was just so utterly turned off by the pointless lies and cover-ups that I couldn't make a reasonable decision. So, I did what anyone with a clouded conscience and a slightly angered mind would do: I waited for him to go to the washroom, and I left. I thought I had resigned myself to an entire outing with this strange misfit, but as soon as the bathroom door shut, I grabbed my bag and walked out of the restaurant, dashed for the car, and got the hell out of there.

He texted me later, asking me what happened.

“I had an emergency,” I told him, a boldfaced lie covering up the awkwardness and discomfort in the reality of why I'd fled. But I think he knew that ultimately it was a trade-off. Not only had we both lied to each other, but we'd both learned something: he'd realized the pointlessness of selling a false version of himself, and I had discovered that I don't have it in me to lie to someone that blatantly.

The next day, I sent him a message explaining why I'd left. I let him know that in the future, he would be better off fishing in a pond closer to home, so long as the bait he used wasn't artificial.

JJ Brewis is quite possibly the keenest member of our editorial staff. He has been writing columns on various topics for the Courier for three years, and is now revisiting his most successful theme: relationships.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

// Lydia Fu o me, dating is weird. It’s messy, doesn’t come naturally, and is filled with an onslaught of terrible side effects. One of the most terrible by-products in the dating realm for me, personally, has been dealing with lies.

We’re all full of them. We tell innocent little lies to people every day: reasons why we’re late, or that new haircuts look nice. But the truth of the matter is that we’d all be much better off if we were accountable for being late to work rather than blaming it on heavy traffic, and our friends might actually appreciate it if we gave them a heads up that their new ‘do actually, quite frankly, looks like shit.

Yet we’ve all been there. We’ve covered things

up with reasons untrue just to make the big picture seem more tolerable for everyone affected.

I went on a date a while back with a guy named Oliver who, according to his online dating profile, was a sciences student in his mid-20s who looked like a personified version of Archie comics badboy Reggie Mantle. I was sold, and when I met him for tea, I already had been fed an image and an idea of whom I was meeting. Unfortunately, as soon as he showed up to the table, the masterpiece started chipping away, and the fragments de-compartmentalized in front of my eyes.

“You pick out which slushie you want?” I looked up at a young boy – a child – staring back at me, in an awkwardly oversized sweater whose sleeves only emphasized his nervous twitching hands. Thinking I was speaking to one of the establishment's young waiters, I said “No, sorry,” and went back to my menu waiting for date to arrive. He laughed the most ear-piercing, snorting laugh, and I looked back up to him. “It's me, silly!” he said, plunking himself into the chair across from me. As I studied his face, if I squinted very carefully, he almost kind of sort of made a vague assemblage of the photos I saw online. “You look quite different than in your photos,” I said. “You look much younger in person.”

It was quite clear that the photos from his profile were either heavily manipulated, or not his own at all. He had also claimed to be 25 years old, and taking one look at him made that very obviously an untruth.

“So … how old are you?” I asked. His arms seemed to retreat even further into the depths of

With JJ Brewis

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Opinions

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Edi tor // Marco Ferreira // o pi ni o ns @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Is French Toast?

Bilingualism in Canada: a debate

By Colin Spensley & Julian Legere // writers

COLIN: Canada is supposedly a bilingual nation. However, the only officially bilingual province is New Brunswick, which prints all government forms in French and English. The farther west from the capital one travels in Canada, the less bilingual the provinces become. British Columbia's French standards have dropped far below the national level with a large portion of students choosing to opt out of French classes after the grade eight prerequisite has been filled. If Canada wants to promote itself as a bilingual nation, then why not set a federal standard for French education? If a regulated education model is not something that Canadians would want, then please, take the French off my cereal box.

JULIAN: Of all the complaints I’ve heard about government spending, education doesn’t seem to be something most people put in the category of “excessive”. The importance of education is something we can all get behind, and the benefits of bilingualism have been persuasively documented. According to studies conducted by Statistics Canada, students in French immersion programs consistently perform higher in reading assessments than their non-immersion peers in every province except Manitoba, where achievement is equal. Even taking into account factors that contribute to the likelihood of being in immersion, such as socio-economic background and education level of parents, French immersion is seen to provide an advantage for students.

In another study on the advantages of bilingualism, performed by the University of Calgary’s Language Research centre, concluded that learning a second language improves “language skills” in the first language (reading, writing, vocabulary, etc.) as well as “non-linguistic skills” such as “divergent thinking, metalinguistic skills, attitudes toward others, [and] mathematics scores

and skills.” An investment in bilingual education is an investment is every aspect of education.

It is unfortunately true that most of Canada is not truly bilingual, which means Colin is absolutely right that there should be a federal standard for French education. So, what are we waiting for, Canada?

COLIN: Studying any language other than your mother tongue would be beneficial to your linguistic skills in school. That being said, with only 35 per cent of francophones speaking English fluently and 7.4 per cent of non-Quebecers being fluent in either the Acadian or French Canadian dialects, the numbers seem to speak for themselves.

One must not ask whether or not bilingualism is important in Canada, because the facts stated earlier would lead one to believe it is a great advantage to the youth learning that second language. No, we must examine the importance of French being that second language.

Canada’s Federal Government spends upwards of two billion of our tax dollars keeping government programs in both French and English, and, as stated before, a small minority of Canada’s citizens would find this of use. While French is the mother tongue of 21.7 per cent of Canadians, 11.4 per cent of our population uses other languages than English and French at home with their families. A strong push for the adoption of “multilingualism” has been seen in the Western side of Canada, with many people believing that Mandarin or Spanish would be much more beneficial to teach our children than French. Perhaps what we need in Canada is regional bilingualism, or multilingualism. The opportunity to speak French this far west is limited, and additionally is not highly promoted by our provincial government.

isolated communities. As reported in the 2006 census, over 100,000 people in the Vancouver CMA (Census Metropolitan Area) speak neither official language.

One excellent example of this isolation is that of the Chinese-Canadian community in Richmond. Kelly Ip, former director of the BC Coalition to Eliminate Abuse of Seniors and chair of the senior’s branch of Vancouver’s immigrant organisation SUCCESS, is quoted in the magazine Canadian Immigrant saying, “In the old days, if you came here, you had to pick up the language. Now if you live in Richmond, you can talk to your lawyer, doctor, or shopkeeper all in Chinese. Some people joke that they speak more JULIAN: English in Hong Kong than here.”

One of the keystones of any culture is its lanThe lack of bilingualism in Canada encourages guage. In Canada, where we pride ourselves on this type of isolation on a grand scale between our multiculturalism, it is clear that the many francophone and anglophone communities. cultures that make up Canada exist largely in The Quebec separatist movement has cited their

// Shannon Elliott desire to remain a distinct culture as a major factor in their political aims. So, on the one side, we have this faction of the francophone community who are determined to maintain that isolation and strive to create a unilingual francophone nation within Canada. On the other side, we have the Canadian anglophone majority fuelling that determination by largely refusing to learn the French language in order to attempt to bridge the enormous canyon between these two cultures.

If Canadians could understand that bilingualism would help narrow the gap between the francophone and anglophone communities, perhaps they would also be able to do the same with other communities, such as the Chinese in Richmond. We need to create a new national unity where cultures can coexist without having to be isolated to the point of separation referendums which are defeated by less than a single percentage of the popular vote.

ATM fees are discriminatory the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

Service fees disproportionately affect low-income population

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By Shaimaa El-Ghazaly // The Concordian (Concordia University)

M

ONTREAL (CUP) — If you’re as careful with your money as I am, you will choose to walk some distance to find your own bank’s ATM in order to avoid being charged fees just to access your own funds.

However, there are days when the weather is horrible, or you don’t have time, or there are just no ATMs from your bank within walking distance. That’s when you’ll find yourself staring at the bank machine, annoyed with the fees. These fees are unfair because they burden low-income individuals such as students.

ATM fees come in different forms. When you use an ATM of a bank that is not yours, you are charged convenience fees. The amount can go up to $2 per transaction. When you use an ATM that

belongs to a private operator, the convenience fees can go up to $5 per transaction. Then, your bank charges you service fees that can go up to $1.50.

Some people say it is not much, and that might be true for transactions of $100 or more.

But for the average student, charges for up to $6.50 on a $20 withdrawal to get some food are a pain.

The fact that banks make as much profit off of small transactions as large transactions hardly seems reasonable. Service fees, including those charged at ATMs, made up six per cent of Canadian banks’ profits in 2010. It is a large sum considering that the net income of the six largest Canadian banks was $14.3 billion in 2009.

Sure, eliminating ATM fees might reduce their profits, but it is a tiny amount compared to how much money big banks make. Bank profits

increased at all of Canada's major banks by an average of 29 per cent in 2010 (compared to 2009); surely they can afford to give people a break at the ATM. “If people want to avoid paying those fees, they should use their own bank’s ATM machines,” says Adrian Rotaru, a CIBC customer service representative.

The issue with that type of thinking is that it doesn’t take the elderly and the disabled into consideration. That type of reasoning puts them at a disadvantage due to possible limitations of how far they could travel in order to get money.

It does not take into account the fact that sometimes your bank's ATMs are not available. For instance, around Concordia's Loyola campus, there aren’t any Bank of Montreal ATMs within walking distance.

Most banks have student and senior plans

without monthly banking charges. Therefore, banks should do the same concerning ATM fees.

As for private operators, whose main goal is to make profit, there should be some government intervention to limit the amount of money they can charge. It is understandable that private operators install these machines in order to make money, but to make a 30 per cent profit on a $20 transaction is exploitation.

“They charge you so much. It’s definitely frustrating, especially when you’re out at night and you need more cash than you have,” says Concordia student Elena Munteanu.

If more people were to voice their discontent, perhaps something could be done. It might not make a huge difference for banks to eliminate those fees, but every dollar would definitely matter to students.

opinions

Cheapening your ballot Everyone loses when politicians change teams mid-game

By Christina Blakeborough // Writer

I

f Stephen Harper was elected prime minister of Canada and a few months later decided to change parties or “cross the floor” to join the Liberals, a lot of Canadians who voted for Harper would feel cheated, and perhaps herald the act as undemocratic. As unlikely as this scenario is, why is it that elected party representatives are able to change parties after election in similar fashion without much controversy? With lax regulation in regards to party membership, the doors are open for the elected to undermine voters and play politics with their positions.

The first Canadian to cross the floor was Richard John Cartwright on Oct. 9, 1869. He was the MP for Lennox and a future senator, but he was hoping for a cabinet position. Cartwright was a Conservative crossing the floor to the Liberals. What was his reason for crossing? Sir John A. Macdonald didn’t name him the new minister of finance. By joining the Liberals, led

by Alexander Mackenzie, he was appointed minister of finance.

Throughout Canadian history there have been many more politicians that followed in Cartwright’s footsteps. The most recent case was on Jan. 10, 2012 when Saint Maurice-Champlain MP Lise St. Denis crossed the floor from NDP to Liberal.

The actual decision to cross the floor is allowed; however, it’s only ethical when the term is ending and re-elections are on the horizon.

Crossing the floor just a few months into a term is the easy way out for St. Denis. She chose to run for the NDP; she got elected; now, she should focus on her job as an NDP member of parliament.

The only way to make this fair to the members and supporters of the party would be to have a by-election, instead of easily changing sides with-

out some effort on her part.

St. Denis volunteered for the NDP party for ten years. After ten years, she should have been familiar with the NDP party policies and direction. St. Denis claims she was “disappointed in the NDP’s decision not to support an extension of a Canadian military mission in Libya, its opposition to the idea of a public-private partnership to rebuild Montreal’s Champlain Bridge and its long-time insistence that the Senate should be abolished.” These party decisions shouldn't surprise anyone who volunteered for the NDP for ten years.

Out of the 45 known Canadian floor crossers, only 11 of them didn’t run for a re-election once they switched parties. The success rate of these floor crossers during re-election is 65 per cent.

Regarding St. Denis, even though the Liberal caucus accepts her decision to switch parties, it doesn’t mean the Liberal supporters will back her up, which is why a re-election would be interesting. But seeing as St. Denis is in her 70s, it seems very unlikely she’ll run for re-election in 2015. For that reason I believe that her decision to cross the floor is more of a publicity stunt to draw attention to her name and the Liberals.

The Liberal Party of Canada may be struggling with supporters now, but this might change soon enough. St. Denis announced last summer that she was battling non-Hodgkin lymphoma, which affects the lymphatic system. Could the medical condition of St. Denis's drum up sympathy support for her and the Liberal party in wake of Jack Layton battling cancer?

Crossing the floor can be a shrewd and cunning political strategy. As the Liberal party attempts to take back support from the NDP, expect more attempts to portray the NDP as a sinking ship without a captain. When asked how her constituents would feel about her changing parties, St. Denis responded, “They voted for Jack Layton. Jack Layton died.”

Cab o o s e F e at u r e d F i c t i o n

By Julian Legere // Writer

// Tiffany Munoz

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Edi tor // MIKE BASTIEN // c abo o s e . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

thing bright or dear as the year before and though her mind tells her to keep the solid silence, to respect the passèd life, does her voice disobey?

Does she see the world again after months of When a force for joy as irresistible as a lonesome clouds and chaos and is she relieved by the first flower, refusing to be held down by cold, breaks sign of light? through to her sight, how can she refuse to rejoice?

Is her frigid vigil cut short by the renaissance that resonates from the sky into the soil and up into At the sight of a million shades of every colour, her soul through the roots of her home? of a land birthed out of hell by hope, how could misery cope and keep a hold on that old bird, Can she understand the cycle? Or does she think when her rebellious soul revolts and refuses to her first flight in the new spring is a betrayal of the respect an agony so thick it licks at her like fire life that came before? at a log?

What if she wishes for darkness and dread, for But she will not burn. her world to be dead so that her silence has an excuse to exist?

She will throw her feathers wide and fly and her note will rend apart the ice inside her heart so And on that first warm day when the sun coaxes that her mourning will end and her bright new the cold to go away, does she pray for it to stay? day begin Is she able to imagine that any season could be as

With JJ Brewis

The Hot Chart MADONNA AT THE SUPER BOWL With pipes bigger than anyone in the NFL NICKELBACK AT THE SUPERBOWL I want my quarter back LIP TATTOOS A literal kiss of pain ANGELINA JOLIE Or: goth Kate Gosselin TIM HORTONS LARGE COFFEE Savour the criminally disgusting taste

MISO SOUP Salt enema CINEPLEX PRE SHOW Like '24 Hours' for the big screen VINCE VAUGHN Not even alliteration can save him GIRL GUIDE COOKIES PRICE GOES UP Still getting CLUBBING Accurate

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

Is this how the songbird feels, when bright spring Is there some inner instinct that forces her to sing sets aglow the leaves in golden sun? when the spring rises up from the frozen Earth?

Is this how the songbird feels when her widow’s winter draws its final frozen breath and sets her free?

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caboose

Hogwarts houses

Hufflepuff Jason Jeon

Ravenclaw Alecia Casselman

Slytherin Colin Spensley

Gryffindor Leah Scheitel

Oh Hufflepuff, what the hell is a Hufflepuff? Thy name of loyalty and hard work, while in actuality, more like silence and humility. Seriously, I thought there were only Gryffindor and Slytherin at Hogwarts. This house exists only as a place to dump the talentless rejects. Let’s face it, it doesn’t matter how good you are at finding things when you bump into a Death Eater. I mean, who’s actually from this vast group of nothingness? Cream puffs? You know your house is pretty lame when your champion’s biggest accomplishment was getting himself killed and then coming back to life as one the most hated characters in pop culture. The only redeeming aspect of this house is the bad-ass badger mascot showing that this house doesn’t give a shit. I almost feel sorry for anyone who is placed in this house. Almost.

Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw, does anyone acknowledge us...ever? We are the wise, we are the intelligent, and we are the backbone of the wizarding world. When you need someone to organize your spellbooks, we'll be there. When you need someone to translate archaic nargle runes, we’ll be there. We've always been here.

Just because we're behind a pile of books doesn't mean we don't hear you Slytherins calling us insufferable know-it-alls. We aren't as flashy as say, Griffindor, but we have sexy stoic solidarity and know how to make love good. We may not be very good at quidditch; heck, even Hufflepuff can beat us. Yet, despite our shortcomings, we are still the best at what we do. So the next time you need someone to enchant your broomstick so you can pass your examinations, remember to be kind to the noble house of Ravenclaw.

Why does being a proud Slytherin instantly make one feel like I’m being labelled as some sort of wizard fascist? Dark magic is cooler than any one gives it credit for. Who would you want in your corner in a wizardly wand duel: a cunning and sly magician of the dark arts who can cast giant snake hexes and turn your enemy into a puppet to do your evil bidding … or some plump Hufflepuff who can grow a gillyweed plant and help you breathe under water? Sure, Slytherin and our hero Harry P. have had a few … discrepancies, but really, half of him belongs with us anyways. I mean come on: the kid can freakin’ talk to snakes here; and, admittedly, that is pretty bad ass. All right, maybe we did produce the most evil and hated wizard of all time, but pinning ol’ Voldy on Slytherin is like saying all Germans are Nazis. So, next time you turn your nose up while taking a short-cut through Knockturn alley, just remember that we’re a welcoming club who would love to have you join us … just give me half your soul for the horcrux I’ve been fashioning.

It’s no secret that when most first years put on that old and probably lice-ridden Sorting Hat, they are desperately wishing it screams out “GRYFFINDOR!” All those brats want to do is to bombastically trot along and join the rest of the lion pride. Speaking of which, Griffindors and their pride!” Always jamming it down our throats! In the muggle world, pride is considered a deadly sin. If only you guys were humble like the Hufflepuffs. Your ego can’t rival the wits or logic of the wizards in Ravenclaw house. Damn, at least the Slytherins acknowledge that they’re assholes. They don’t use hubris to mask the fact that they enjoy causing mischief. No, they’re slimy little devils with conviction. At the end of the day, when the pride and courage fades, logic, humility, and conviction are still there. If I may suggest a new slogan to help recruit: “If there’s pride where YOU hide – GRYFFINDOR!”

Don't Touch That Dial!

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 15

By Samantha Thompson *

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* Bring the completed crossword to Maple 122 on January 31th at 12 pm to win a prize!