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DRESSING FOR CHURCH 9 Ways To Beat Sexual Temptation




08 10 12 14 04 05

6 MARKS OF BIBLICAL MODESTY How God’s brining Sexy back

MODESTY IS/IS NOT Understanding what Paul really said about modesty

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THE BIBLE AND DRESS/HOW TO DRESS FOR CHURCH Knowing the real reason for clothing

NOTES FROM A MAN OF CLOTH Tips for style & dressing

PRAY FIRST, OFTEN AND ALWAYS Crucial Elements For Successful Intentional Prayer

MATERIALS TO STRIVE FOR Getting the best, receiving the best

A DRESSING-DOWN ON DRESSING DOWN The Need for Principles of Dress

NATALIA WOODS A Dress Makers Story






VICTOR PERKINS CLOTHING STYLIST The christian clothing advisory TEAM.






A Single Young mum 7

6 Marks of Biblical Modesty: How God Brings Sexy Back

6 Marks of Biblical Modesty: How God Brings Sexy Back By Luke Gilkerson Modesty is a controversial topic, especially when you throw God into the mix. For some, they simply cannot fathom, amidst all the great injustices in the world, that God actually cares if a girl wears skin-tight pants with the word “Juicy” written on them.

asking for it.” This kind of victim blaming, sadly, leads some to temper any compassion for such women when they are abused. Let’s be clear: victims of rape are not guilty of their rape. The girl who walks across campus at 2 a.m. and gets assaulted is not to blame for the crime committed against her. Similarly, victims of another’s lust do not thereby mean a woman is guilty of lust. She should never be made to account for another person’s sin. Where then does modesty fit into the Christian ethic?

But in the end, it is the Word of God that should drive our discussions about modesty. What has God revealed about it? First and foremost, a biblical definition of modesty must focus on the heart. Modesty is primarily about our motivations. In addition, modest dress is also about discernment, having an awareness of others and our environment.

Modern Modesty Controversies In a recent conversation, a woman I spoke with seemed deeply offended when I suggested a woman’s manner of dress could tempt a man to lust. She wasn’t denying the claim that men lust after women, but she was emphatic that women are not to blame for a man’s lustful thoughts and actions. She’s right, of course. A person is never guilty of another person’s sin. This woman’s protest is, in part, motivated by a desire to fight various rape myths in our culture. When a girl dresses scantily, goes to a college party, gets drunk, makes out with a dozen guys, and then is raped, for some there is a tendency to say, “Well, she was just


Paul on Modesty: 1 Timothy 2:8-10 “I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness— with good works.“ Christian women should concern themselves with modesty because the Bible does. This text is a primary example. For the purposes of this article, I am writing about women because Paul is writing about women in these verses. I recognize that men should also embrace modesty.

MODESTY IS: 1. Modesty is not anti-pretty At the outset, we should take note that Paul is not anti-adornment. The force of his statement is positive: “women should adorn themselves.” These are not the words of an anti-fashion prude. The same word “adorn” is used to speak of a bride beautifying herself for her husband (Revelation 21:2). It is a term that expresses being ornamented, well-kept, and put in order. The question for Paul isn’t about whether a woman should ornament her body, but how.

2. Modesty is about who you worship In the context, Paul is talking about how women should prepare themselves for gathering at church. Women are commanded to adorn themselves in a way that is fitting for worship. If they “profess godliness”—that is, they desire to show God honour and reverence—how should they dress? Paul puts his finger on the trigger of the problem. In Ephesus, the original destination of this letter, the cultural elite were known for their gaudy and extravagant wardrobes, their elaborate hair styles, and their expensive clothing that communicated extraordinary wealth. Paul paints a picture of this for the Ephesians Christians and says, “Don’t mimic that. When you come to church, come dressed in a way that shows you desire to the attention to be on God, not yourself.” A person’s manner of dress, or even their preoccupation with clothing itself (Matthew 6:28-30), is often indicative of a heart that loves self more than God.



3. Modesty is about behaviour and attitude, not just clothing When Paul says that women should wear “respectable apparel,” the term “apparel” is probably translated too narrowly: it is a term that encompasses not just clothing, but one’s whole demeanour, attitude, and actions. Ultimately, what should adorn a woman is not just clothing but “good works.” As Christians, we are being remade by God for good works (Ephesians 2:10). Christ died so that we might be zealous for good works (Titus 2:14). Women should seek to dress their lives in works that do good to others, marked with godly love. This means modesty is not simply about what we wear, but how we act, how we communicate, and how relate to others.

4. Modesty shows sensitivity to sin In this text Paul says a woman’s apparel should be worn with “modesty.” Other translation opt for the word “decency.” The King James Version translates this “shamefacedness,” which gets more to the heart of the word. It is talking about a demeanour of reverence, showing respect to oneself and a regard for others. It even carries the connotation of “bashful.” Connected to the term “shame,” the word implies the idea of grief over sin that is in the world—that a woman would be so sensitive to sin,


knowing that sin is offensive to God, that she would never come close to trying to provoke it in others.

The poet Juvenal, a contemporary of Paul, gives a vivid description of this cultural trend:

No, a woman is not guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him. Let him account for his sins. But she is guilty of a lack of shamefacedness, for treating sin lightly. A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for one’s fellow man.

“There is nothing that a woman will not permit herself to do. Nothing that she deems shameful. And when she encircles her neck with green emeralds and fastens huge pearls to her elongated ears, so important is the business of beautification. So numerous are the tiers and stories piled one another on her head that she pays no attention to her own husband.”

5. Modesty involves cultural discretion Paul didn’t just paint broad strokes when talking about modesty; he gave specifics. He said braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire were out of place for a truly modest woman. Some knowledge of Roman culture is helpful for understanding what Paul is saying. In Paul’s day, Greek hairstyles for women were fairly simple: hair was parted in the middle and pinned in the back. But a culture change was sweeping the region. Women in the imperial household were wearing their hair with elaborate curls and braids, covered in expensive ornaments. The elite throughout the empire copied this style. For Paul, the appearance of braids and ornaments was more about what the fashion communicated. They carried connotations of imperial luxury and conjured up images of notoriously immoral Empresses like Valeria Messalina and Poppeaea Sabina, ancient equivalents of Cosmopolitan cover girls.

Similarly, the philosopher Philo gives a description of a prostitute in his writing called “The Sacrifices of Cain and Abel”: “A prostitute is often described as having hair dressed in elaborate braids, her eyes with pencil lines, her eyebrows smothered in paint and her expensive clothes embroidered lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and jewels hanging all over her.” Paul’s description of immodest dress conjured a picture of someone preoccupied with appearance, fashion, luxury, and sexual prowess. Similarly, modern modesty standards are not about arbitrary rules of how much skin is shown or how low-cut something is, but about the messages and values our clothing communicates.

6. Modesty is about true freedom, not repression More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that restrict a woman’s creativity and freedom. But when modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true. Paul says women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with “self-control.” This might be better understood as “self-mastery,” being of sound mind or sober, being in control of one’s impulses and appetites. In extra-biblical literature, this word has sexual nuances: being able to totally control your romantic and erotic desires. Immodesty is often, though not always, a kind of slavery. A woman may be enslaved by her desire to attract a man. She


might define her worth by her fashion sense, her sex appeal, her image, her bust size, her weight, or the brand names she wears. This kind of slavery is widespread because sin impacts us all, and in today’s sexually charged, mediasaturated culture, many women fall prey to this kind of slavery. But as Christians we are free from the slavery of sin because we are united to Christ. Paul exhorts us to live out this freedom: “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12). When it comes to modest dress, we can follow Paul’s next statement quite literally: Do not present the members of your body to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present your members to God as instruments for righteousness (v.13). Paul wants Christian woman to have

self-mastery in their wardrobe choices, to be totally free from worldly ways of defining worth, beauty, and sexiness. Ironically, it is not just those who are scantily dressed that are enslaved, but even those who pride themselves on their modesty. “Modest is hottest,” they say, unaware that in their own hearts, they are still enslaved to a preoccupation with their physical image, still defining their worth by their outward adornment.


What Does A Dressed Church! Look Like?

Genesis 3:21 NIV How Should One Dress for Church?

The Bible and Dress!

The Bible's rules about dress cannot be applied directly to today's

Genesis 3:21: God covers Adam’s and Eve’s nakedness. The

situation. Attending church in biblical-era clothing, a cloak, tunic,

language used to describe the garments is reminiscent of the

sandals and a turban or veil, would cause quite a disruption in most churches! But the general principles of modesty and propriety can

clothing of the priests in the tabernacle. Interestingly, before the priests can begin their service they also need to

be applied. A general lesson from the New Testament is that we should dress for public worship in a way that is generally considered

experience the state of being naked and receiving new garments (Ex. 29:4–5). The sacrificial slaughter of animals is

appropriate. Standards of dress are different from church to church

implied when God clothes His wayward children and thus

and change over time, but we should avoid any style of dress that is offensive or sends a message opposing the church community's

covers their shame.



Herbert Lockyer, Sr., ed., Nelson's Illustrated Bible Dictionary, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1986.
 2 Merrill F. Unger, The New Unger's Bible Dictionary, Moody Press, 1988.


Dybdahl, J. L. (Ed.). (2010). Andrews Study Bible Notes (p. 11). Berrien Springs, MI: Andrews University Press.




CRUCIAL ELEMENTS FOR SUCCESSFUL INTENTIONAL PRAYER Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, And He shall hear my voice. —Psalm 55:17 NKJ Pray First, Often and Always! While many believers sincerely desire to spend time with God in prayer, few actually do. Spiritual discipline is necessary to make prayer a priority in our lives. God, however, has made prayer a priority —directing his children to pray first, often and always. Therefore, prayer should become a priority for us!


Scripture speaks repeatedly of the importance of prayer. Paul says to pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). Believers should make all requests known to God. In addition, believers are admonished to pray regularly and frequently. David promised the Lord, “Evening, morning and noon I cry out” (Psalm 55:17). Jesus prayed for extended periods of time, especially when making important decisions (Luke 6:12). Certainly when facing challenges or trials, a believer should pray (James 5:13). Paul exhorted the Christians in

Thessalonica to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer becomes not only an attitude of the heart but also a continual dialogue with the Lord. When praying, take time to be still and hear a word from God (Psalm 46:10). The Bible dictates no specific time or place for prayer. However, a believer may find it easier to maintain the priority of prayer when she establishes a definite time and place to pray as part of her daily schedule (Luke 18:1). Prayer should occupy a place in the heart; it also

needs a place in the home. While every believer does not need a prayer closet (Matthew 6:6), all believers should have a place of solitude free from distraction in order to pray in private. To help make prayer a priority, you may want to use a prayer journal or devotional book or write out a prayer list and revise it often. Share your commitment to prayer with others, both to encourage them and to hold yourself accountable for praying regularly. Drawn from a Topical Note in The Woman's Study Bible.




MATERIALS TO STRIVE FOR! Cashmere wool, usually simply known as cashmere, is a fiber obtained from cashmere goats and other types of goat. Common usage defines the fiber as a wool but in fact it is a hair, and this is what gives it its unique characteristics as compared to sheep's wool. The word cashmere is an old spelling of the Kashmir region in northern India. Cashmere is fine in texture, strong, light, and soft. Garments made from it provide excellent insulation,approximately three times that of sheep wool.[1] Cashmere is also softer than regular wool.
 [2] wikipedia

Cashmere The softness, breathability and warmth of cashmere is beyond compare. Cashmere sweaters are continually regarded as one of the fundamental investment garments that never go out of style. Beautifully realised in a selection of cuts ranging from V-necks and crew necks, extended to tunics and dresses for women; Fitted to flatter the body in both masculine and feminine forms. Quietly luxurious, supremely stylish, and above all, a discreet pleasure for the wearer. UNIQLO



Silk is produced by several insects, but


generally only the silk of moth caterpillars has been used for textile manufacturing. There has been some research into other types of silk, which differ at the molecular level.[2] Silk is mainly produced by the larvae of insects undergoing complete metamorphosis, but some adult insects such as web-spinners also produce silk, and some insects such as raspy crickets produce silk throughout their lives.[3] Silk production also occurs in Hymenoptera (bees, wasps, and ants), silverfish, mayflies, thrips, leafhoppers, beetles, lacewings, fleas, flies, and midges.[2] Other types of arthropod produce silk, most notably various arachnids such as spiders (see spider silk).

Silk is a natural protein fibre, some

forms of which can be woven into textiles. The protein fibre of silk is composed mainly of fibroin and is produced by certain insect larvae to form cocoons.[1] The best-known silk is obtained from the cocoons of the larvae of the mulberry silkworm Bombyx mori reared in captivity (sericulture). The shimmering appearance of silk is due to the triangular prism-like structure of the silk fibre, which allows silk cloth to refract incoming light at different angles, thus producing different colours. Wikipedia

Garbadine,. The fibre used to make the fabric is traditionally worsted wool, but may

also be cotton, texturised polyester, or a blend. Gabardine is woven as a warp-faced steep or regular twill, with a prominent diagonal rib on the face and smooth surface on the back. Gabardine always has many more warp than weft yarns.[3][4][5] Cotton gabardine is many times used by bespoke tailors to make pocket linings for business suits, where the pocket's contents would quickly wear holes in the usual flimsy pocket lining material.[citation needed] Clothing made from gabardine is generally labeled as being suitable for dry cleaning only, as is typical for wool textiles. Gabardine may also refer to the twill-weave used for gabardine fabric, or to a raincoat made of this fabric. Wikipedia

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A Dressing-Down on Dressing Down How should Christians dress? The world promotes immodesty and self-expressions. The Word calls Christians to dress in a way that reflects their striving for purity and holiness. This article explores the principles of Christian dress for today. DO BELIEVERS need a dressingdown on their dressing? 'Surely not!' the hopeful would say, 'we are after all a people who have been taught the Word, and are careful to apply it.' But the realist is compelled to be cautious. This writer has received no fewer than five communications over the past few months from godly and mature Christians who raise this problem, saying typically: 'I notice the fashion of the world creeping into the church through the dressing of our young people. Many of our young people are showing off their midriff and wearing low-cut jeans that reveal too much flesh when they sit. There are also other clothes inappropriate for church. Can we do something about this? Matters could get even worse, with young people who do not follow the trend coming under a lot of pressure.' Why should incautious dress be apparent, when separation unto holiness and modesty have been taught? Is it a matter of ignorance, indifference, or rebelliousness? It could be any of the three. The Need for Principles on Christian Dress We are naturally concerned, because it is the quest of every believer to grow into Christlikeness: to have temperance and control over the body; to cultivate a sound mind, and to be wise in all spiritual things. In other words, we are to be transformed from and not conformed to this world.


The teaching of Scripture is the rule of our faith and practice. However, we do not grow as Christians by imbibing biblical facts alone, but by the practice of our faith in obedience to Scripture. In order, therefore, to understand the implications of clothing, it is important to know what Scripture says. We are to stand out as lights in the world and to be different, this must surely be reflected in our dressing But what does Scripture have to say about dressing that can be relevant to this day and age? After all, fashions and culture change. For example, where people in the past would wear linen and wool, the range of fabrics now used is much greater; and instead of tunics and sandals, we wear Tshirts and trainers. So how can the Bible provide reasonable guidelines that are relevant to us today? According to Scripture we are to stand out as lights in the world and to be different, and this must surely be reflected in our dressing. If the clothing of the world is contrary to biblical guidelines, then we need to consider whether we are dressing like the world. 1 John 2.16 tells us: 'For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.' When the word ‘world’ is mentioned, it does not refer to every single person in the world, for then we would have to dress differently from everyone else and have a distinctive Christian uniform. The word ‘world’ refers to the evil and the wickedness of the world. This subject might not have needed to be raised 150 years ago

because the world, although wicked, was restrained in many respects. But that is not how it is today. The world is becoming worse and worse. Crime is increasing, and so is immorality, and the Bible tells us to separate from the wickedness of this world and pursue holiness. Separation unto holiness But just how wicked is the world getting? Whatever is happening in Singapore is part of the trend elsewhere, and it is the increasing sensuality that is making the greatest difference in clothing. A few years ago a study of the sexual habits of final year students (carried out by the National University Hospital of Singapore) showed that one in three nonmedical students staying in the hostels were sexually active. Six out of ten of these had casual sex for the first time at the age of 18. Interestingly, only one out of seven medical students admitted to having sex before marriage. Religious beliefs and a higher view of marriage were some of the reasons for abstinence among medical students. However, later statistics based on the general populace are even more alarming. In a survey on sexual perceptions, only a slim majority of 51% of adolescents surveyed said that pre-marital sex was wrong. 41% looked upon sex before marriage as acceptable if mutual love existed and marriage was the ultimate goal. 9% did not feel that pre-marital sex presented any problem. Ominously, thought is transmitted into action faster than people realise.


These statistics are now a little dated [UK figures are considerably worse] and the situation is probably more shocking today. The trends in morality certainly affect the way people behave and act. It would be naive to deny that sensuality is far more apparent today than previously, and worldwide moral decline has obviously affected clothing.
   The human drive to preen is immensely strong, energising the market for cosmetics, fashionable clothes, and perfumes, many of which are intended to be overtly sensual. No longer is it just lipstick, but lip gloss, lip wax, and lip liner, all to make the lips appear fuller for kissing.
      Clothes, originally intended to cover, are today meant to reveal. Spaghetti straps are now a common sight along with body-hugging outfits. Men are as culpable, if not responsible. Somewhere in the last ten years, pumping iron has given rise to tighter shirts.
      This is the condition of the world, and the Christian is exhorted to separate from such wickedness. Leviticus 11.45 tells us, ‘For I am the Lord that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am


holy.’ The word ‘holy’ means consecrated or set apart, that is, separate. The Lord is separate and set apart from all ungodliness and all appearance of wickedness. And because he has redeemed the Christian from spiritual Egypt – from sin and its bondage – the command is for the Christian to be separate and set apart from all appearance of wickedness.
    If some of the clothes of today have been heavily influenced and driven by sensuality, then the Christian should entertain no thought of wearing them. Clothes, originally intended to cover, are today meant to reveal... Before the Israelites entered the Promised Land they were given a host of instructions on how they should conduct themselves, dress, and go about their occupations. Instructions were given ranging from practical to religious matters. Leviticus 19.28 tells us: ‘Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.' The people were to be different from pagans who tattooed themselves. Leviticus 21.5 says, 'They shall not make baldness upon their

head, neither shall they shave off the corner of their beard, nor make any cuttings in their flesh.' The Canaanites wore their hair in all manner of ways and their priests shaved the sides and backs of their heads, and so the Israelites were


forbidden to appear ike them in order to remain distinct. Without this distinctiveness, their witness would have been lost.How may a Christian lady minister the Gospel to an unbeliever, explaining the importance of purity and chastity, when she is clad in the highly immodest fashions of today? It would be an altogether incongruous thing.Therefore separation from wickedness and all appearance of wickedness is a vital guideline and principle. But another guideline is just as important, and is more specifically related to clothing – that of modesty. by Mark Chen


THE STARTER’S KIT 1. You need to own a basic sewing pack This includes your pair of scissors, chalk, measuring tape, pins, thread, unpicked and needles.

2. Dress patterns, your life saver. If you do not know how to bring a skirt/dress together, then a sewing pattern is your best friend. This can be bought online either on eBay, Amazon or by simply googling ‘sewing/dress patterns’ and purchasing them from independent distributors. Tip: look for patterns with easy marked on them. Buy according to your size, cut one size bigger. 3. Start simple Start simple and practice on cheap fabric. Allow room for mistakes. Treat it like a hobby.

Ask yourself a question, ‘ Why am I making my own clothes?’ This will not only give you more motivation but also make you want to learn and do more experimenting. 7



Born on 17 March 1969 in Lewisham, London, to Scottish[ taxi driver Ronald and social science teacher Joyce, McQueen was the youngest of six children. While he reportedly grew up in a council flat the McQueens had lived in a terraced house in Stratford since McQueen was less than a year old. He attended Carpenters Road Primary School started making dresses for his three sisters at a young age and announced his intention to become a fashion designer.

McQueen later attended Rokeby School and left aged 16 in 1985 with one Olevel in art,going on to serve an apprenticeship with Savile Row tailors Anderson & Sheppard, before joining Gieves & Hawkes and, later, the theatrical costumiers Angels and Bermans.While serving his apprenticeship, McQueen attended the Rosetta Studio Workshops led by Yvonne Humble.The skills he learned as an apprentice on Savile Row helped earn him a reputation in the fashion world as an expert in creating an impeccably tailored look. Alexander Mcqueen committed suicide in 2010 at age forty. wikipedia

Ten Commandments of Dressing

by Victor Perkins Mens Fashion Stylist Born in 1976 in the heart of London. At an early age I was introduced to styling from my Father. I developed my creative flair and studied at the London School of Fashion. I then worked in the Fashion Industry as a stylist. I take pride in my appearance and have always said that what separates a great outfit from a good outfit is the ‘detail’. I enjoy and am passionate about styling myself and others. I inspire and style clients according to their body shape, and help them to find their own style, and understand how to incorporate their ideas into their attire, experiment with colours and boost their confidence. My aim is to educate and inspire people to enhance their look and to make them feel confident in their own style.

1) Make sure you use the iron! 2 Ensure your shirt collar is sitting right and clean. 3) When tying the knot of your tie make sure it is straight, and the bottom/long part of the tie, stops at your navel 4) Especially with trousers only have one seam! 5) Don't wear trousers to high above your shoes. 6) make sure your shoes are polished. 7) Take time when choosing a new suit, to make sure the suit fits. Consider inviting a close friend or companion to accompany you and advise you of the fit. 8) When wearing a jacket only do up the first button. 9) Never put things like wallets/keys in the front pocket of the suit/ jacket, it pulls the pocket out of shape and disfigures the look of your suit/j`jacket 10) make sure your clothes are colour-coordinated.

Living Intentionally Versus Existing 2015

ADVISORY For me clothes shopping was never fun, nothing fit right, so i decided to make my own outfits! My birthday present was a sowing machine and now creating clothes is my passion. I also now make clothes for other people! - Natalia Woods Began a Tailoring Apprentice at age 16 and became Master Tailor at the prestigious Anderson and Sheppard, later became one of a few personal tailors to HRH Prince Charles. Now I work as full time Pastor. - Colin Stewart

THE TEAM Worked at the original clothing icon, Cecil Gee, and has experience in making, and cutting of garments. Now a recognised mens stylist and advises in mens clothing. - Victor Perkins


Been working as the Tailor for 30 years starting with a Master Tailor apprenticeship on Saville Row, specialising in Men’s Alterations. Works for the world renowned Anderson and Sheppard. - Byron Austin

ADVISORY Garment Technologist: Coming Soon!! - Mobrey Holness

Have You Considered The Role of: Garment Technologist? This is what Oksana Shufrich says:

The lowdown •

Supporting the design and buying team through all stages of garment product development from design to manufacture

Selecting suitable fabrics and designs for items of clothing

Managing technical aspects from sizing to faults

• •

What does a Garment Technologist do? 23

Garment Technologists can be employed by manufacturers or large, high-street retailers.

They are involved in choosing an appropriate fabric and design so the garment can be produced within budget. They work with pattern graders to oversee the sizing, fitting and testing of the pre-production garments. A Garment Technologist also analyses product returns and faults.

A Garment Technologist typically works around 38 hours a week. This can increase during busy times and

when deadlines have to be met.

For the majority of the time, a Garment Technologist is office-based but the job can involve working in a design studio. They may be required to travel for work, both within the UK and overseas.

What might I earn? A Garment Technologist is paid between £15,000 and £18,000 a year when starting out. This could increase to around £25,000 a year with experience. Senior Garment Technologists can earn around £50,000 a year.

We are sexual creatures. We were created that way. Sex in marriage is a blessing from God, but the time before we tie the knot is a constant battle. Ethan and I were always very attracted to each other, but over the last 2 years of deepening our emotional and spiritual bond, the attraction is insane.  This is the hardest and most rewarding battle I’ve fought in my single-lady life. Same for Ethan.  There have been so many benefits and blessings to waiting that we have no doubt we are doing what is pleasing to God. Here are the ways Ethan and I beat sexual temptation: 1. Don’t wear sexy underwear or bras unless you will not be alone at any point that day/night.  I don’t know about you ladies, but the second I put on my favorite bra, I want to show Ethan how awesome it looks.  I found it so much harder to stifle that desire those days/nights. 2. Flee.  If you’re put in temptation’s path, run.  When things get too heated or too tempting, Ethan and I literally separate until we can calm ourselves down and get control.  If need be, separate for a few hours, or even the rest of the night if the temptation is too great. 3. Pray and redirect yourself when you get on those train of thoughts.  Those days that I let my mind run rampant, I struggle.  Same for Ethan.  It’s alright to be attracted to them and

long for them, that’s natural, but BE CAREFUL. Too much can lead to lots of lust and somebody pushing the envelope. And as a sister-inChrist pointed out, until you two are married, they are not yours, they are still a brother in Christ – keep that in mind. 4. Pray together.  Ethan and I used to start off nights we hung out together with this.  We should get back into it because it is so extraordinarily helpful.  Or if you’re both having a hard time with control one night, stop and pray.  You’ll be amazed how focusing both of your minds back on the bigger picture will change the mood for the better.  Satan flees at that point. 5. Pray for each other separately.  This is always good.  You never know what your other half could be struggling with and facing on a daily basis. 6. No porn.  No looking at other people lustfully.  Your husband spouse deserves a faithful wife – mind, body, and soul. 7. Don’t kiss on a bed.  Or maybe even on a couch.  This leads to heated moments that can lead to other bad things.  Best to just avoid it since it gets extremely tempting very fast. 8. Honestly ask your man if he could be your rock for you the days/nights that you’re having a particularly hard time.  Men love to be needed and to be useful in their

own unique way. They love having a purpose and being able to help us.  That’s how they’re wired!  You admitting a weakness and showing vulnerability will also deepen your trust in one another and he will take your plea to heart. 9. Don’t tempt him with a super sexy outfit.  Ethan always tells me this is the hardest and most frustrating thing because “he has me, but he can’t have me all at the same time.”  When we wear sexy outfits, we’re making the battle harder and more frustrating for our men.  Men are often more sexual than we are, not to mention that they are visually stimulated creatures, and seeing a woman he has such strong feelings for showing off the body he’s trying so hard not to think about all day… how much temptation can a guy take?!  Don’t get me wrong, making an effort to look good for him is important and greatly appreciated, just don’t push it too far. by Single Young Mum

Cambridge Seventh-day Adventist Church 15 - 19 Hobart Road, CB! 3PU T 07956 931 469,

Living intentionally magazine november 2015 issue  
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