My Body

My Body

Introducing ‘My Body’, a series of photos dedicated to the non-sexual representation of the female body.

This is a celebration of the diversity in the female body; exploring the relationship between women and how they feel towards their appearance. Ruby, Jem, Mon, Ariane and Maisie have been photographed in a variety of poses that are not deemed as ladylike or sexy, expressing their confidence through poses that make them feel powerful. Alongside the images, they discuss their thoughts and feelings surrounding beauty standards and body acceptance.

As women, we begin forming insecurities from such a young age which only supressed our confidence.

The majority of women who are depicted in the media have been hyper-sexualised and their portrayal is often derogatory. This publication is my way of challenging the unreachable standards that have been created by the male gaze and the media, which only restrict the way we perceive ourselves.

These photoshoots helped liberate the models and bring them out of their comfort zones whilst providing a place for those who resonate with their bodies, values and perceptions.

I hope that everybody who reads this feels empowered, represented and celebrated.

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Ruby, 21

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“At around the age of 13 to 14, I started to notice the pressure of beauty standards. Then I started to go through puberty and I was suddenly expected to keep up with societies expectations of how to look or dress. In my case I would say that the underwear I have known has been more about comfort because I’m a bigger size and the smaller the sizes of underwear, the sexier they seem to be. It’s only recently where I have found sexy underwear for mid to plus size people.”

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“There isn’t much I’d like to change about my body, but I would say I’d like to experience life with a smaller chest, so I would be less sexualised and could wear more things. I’ve had a bigger chest since I was around 13 and growing up with that sexualisation was weird. I do mostly feel confident with my body because of the people I see online who look like me, celebrating their bodies. There’s a lot more body confidence and body acceptance messages out there that help me feel confident. I think that because of my curvier figure I do adhere to the male gaze but I imagine if I had a smaller waist or was slimmer, I would adhere more. I feel the most confident in bright colours and more delicate, feminine underwear that is comfortable but also pretty.”

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“I’ve had a bigger chest since I was around 13 and growing up with that sexualisation was weird.”

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MON, 21

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"I was scared of what would happen if I grew up."

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“I was about 9 when I noticed the pressure of beauty standards, sort of after some trauma and then once my body started developing, I noticed it very, very vividly. And we try and hide it constantly, so no one could see that happening. I was scared of what would happen if I grew up, if that makes any sense. I noticed people looking, men looking especially when I was about 15, that is when I realised what the male gaze was. At school I felt a lot of pressure to look a certain way because of social media at the time, and girls and boy and everyone at school”

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"In my experience, underwear is the most uncomfortable thing ever, especially when it’s made to portray a certain sensational mood or a notion of sexiness.

It’s really uncomfortable and I find myself adjusting these pieces a lot when I’m wearing them. It’s quite impractical really and definitely not comfortable. But it does make you feel a certain way that like a standard pant wouldn’t make you feel which is interesting”

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"There’s nothing I would want to change about my body necessarily. I’d more likely want to change the way I view it and how I feel about it rather than how it looks to other people. My own view is a bit rougher than what I think it looks like. I don’t necessarily feel confident with my body but I feel confident in different items of clothing so the confidence comes more from how I present myself rather than what is underneath. I also find size helps with confidence, where I fluctuate in weight I feel less and more confident depending on my size which is weird as well.

I don’t really think I adhere to the male gaze; I’d like to think I don’t but you never know how you come across. I feel like I just go on what I feel I should wear and how I want to be looked at, rather than customising my outfit to those who are looking.

I feel confident in clothes that are unique so different pieces, I really like that. There’s nothing specific that I feel confident in, its sort of more my mood and how I feel that day which is the main factors on how I feel confident."

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ARIANE, 21

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"The age I started to feel the pressure of beauty standards was probably in year 9 when I was dating this guy but he kept talking to this other girl who I thought was prettier. At that moment I felt like there was competition in terms of looks but as I grew older and went to college and everyone started talking about sex that’s when I first properly felt the pressure of beauty standards and body image."

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““I find myself comparing my body to others and wanting to look like them.”

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"I currently work in a lingerie store and we have designed underwear both for sexy occasions and everyday wear so I think it depends on where you shop and what you’re looking for to whether it is sexy or more comfortable. It changes to where you look for example, if you go to Ann Summers, you won’t find comfortable but you’ll find sexy, when going to M&S you’ll find purely comfortable underwear."

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"I feel insecure about my thighs, arms and the size of my stomach. It’s hard when I look at my sisters or other friends and they’re a smaller size and gorgeous. It does affect me sometimes when I’m planning to go out for drinks or a date with my boyfriend and I see someone prettier.

Sometimes, I find myself comparing my body to others and wanting to look like them.

I feel confident when I’m covered up, if I’m wearing wide leg jeans or joggers but when I’m at the gym or when I go swimming or on holiday, I feel a lot more self-conscious because everything is on show.

I used to adhere to the male gaze when I was in college, I was smaller and had longer hair but now that I’ve gained weight and dress in a way to hide it I definitely don’t anymore. I feel the most confident when I have mascara on and I’m wearing a nice outfit. I also feel confident when I’m in the gym and after I go to the gym but I think that’s because I have serotonin flowing from exercising."

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MAISIE, 23

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"I started to notice the pressure of beauty standards when I was 13/14 in high school. I started to wear makeup and watch how other women looked and try and replicate the image of women that I thought were pretty. I think lingerie is really sexualised, obviously it’s made for a specific reason but I think more companies that are focused on creating sexy lingerie these days are looking for that comfort aspect too."

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"I would change about my body, how quickly I put on weight. The fact I’m quite short, any fluctuation of weight makes a massive difference to how I look. So, if I put on a couple of stone or whatever literally just from not working out as much or eating badly, the weight can fluctuate within two weeks and it makes a real difference to how my body looks proportionally.

I feel confident with the body I have but it’s taken a long time to get there, there is so much pressure from social media to want a different body than what you’ve got. Especially being a shorter woman, you want the longer legs and you want that nice slender look. You have to come to a point where you have to be happy with the body that you’ve got because it’s the only one you’ve got.

In certain ways I do but generally I don’t think I adhere to the body that the male gaze is after. In terms of the body type and having that slim waist and thick aesthetic, I don’t. I care more about being attractive in the eyes of a woman than in the eyes of a man, I have freed myself from caring about how men view me and how I am viewed sexually by a man because it doesn’t matter to me, I don’t care. It would make me feel better and would be a bigger compliment to me if a woman thought I looked good because we have so many standards to adhere to and I feel we see beauty as something deeper than a man does."

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"I just feel like I’m developing self-acceptance and a self-acceptive attitude and knowing your worth psychologically, mentally and emotionally really changes the outlook you have on your body. As long as you have peace within yourself internally, the whole external side comes with that."

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“I have freed myself from caring about how men view me.”

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JEM, 20

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“As a black woman noticing you're different manifests really quickly. I think beauty standards are ingrained in us from literal birth, in how we say how beautiful girls are, or will grow to be, we’re given toys of white, blonde Barbies and sat in front of Disney princesses from a young age. I noticed differences early on. On my first day of school I got sand in my hair and when I came home I was told I couldn’t play like other kids can, I assume because my hair was thicker and curlier and the sand took hours to come out but I just wanted to play with all of the other girls, (worth noting I was the only black female at school at this point in a diverse area in Birmingham). I got lots of comments about skin colour and hair really, really early on in life from other kids so they mostly came from ignorance and not knowing any better. I remember having a crush on a boy in primary school and a girl told me this boy won’t fancy me “because you’re brown.”

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"I am so sad for that little girl that used to do stupid shit for stupid boys."

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“When I was only like 7/8 I was noticeably plumper than other girls and unfortunately my mum used to make comments about my eating and weight, that happened from a young age well into my teenage hood.

Pressure is there from the moment you start to make sense of words, it’s been ingrained in generations of us.

When I was old enough and had my own money to start buying my own bras, comfort was never on my mind and now I do just opt for the unsexiest most comfortable bra/ none at all. I guess underwear has been designed for sexy hasn’t it, more so than comfort. Comfortable bras would have much less padding, much more support and probably be styled more like most sports bras.

If I could change one thing about my body, It would have to be my feet! They're too short for my body, really chubby and a bit buniony, so I can’t fit all the nice shoes I’d love to put on. It’s such a strange one but I’d love to have nice feet. 6 out of 7 days of the week, I love my body and feel confident. It changes all the time, my weight fluctuates monthly, even weekly but it’s strong.

I put my body through a lot and it carries me through. I have piercings everywhere, a couple tattoos hanging about, lots of scars, blemishes, stretch marks! It's a canvas. I think it also aligns with my own standard of beauty, it’s artistic and feminine and just lovely, I really like that.”

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“Growing up I used to be obsessed with boys and being liked by boys, I lost valuable friendships for boys that treated me worse than shit.

I am so sad for that little girl that used to do stupid shit for stupid boys. That comes from a place of such low self-worth, a place lacking so much love and attention, I wish I could scoop that girl up, shake her a little. My home life was awful so I sought out affection in any form like it was a life line. I also didn’t realise at the time that there is no greater affection than the friendships you form. I’ve come so far from that place of thinking that male attention is good attention and that is such a proud feeling.

I’ve been told before by white guys and by my own black people that the hair that grows naturally out of my head makes me look ugly.

How insane is that? That made me insecure for years, I’d hide my own hair imagine that. I don’t need a man of all people to tell me I’m a beautiful person inside and out, I’m not confident everyday but it’s because of the standards I hold myself to not the standards formed by patriarchy.

I feel most confident when I put something on that younger me would never have dared to wear, something so expressive and whacky that people can’t help but glance or double take in equal measure, being stripped back of all perception, no clothing, no make up, that feeling is just as empowering.”

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Creative director, Photographer, Stylist: Caitlin Owen Assistant: Rosie Mason- Loader Art Director: Eleanor Dobson Models: Ruby Golledge Monica Carvalho Ariane Torio Maisie Tuckett Jemillia Powell 'My Body' short film Https://vimeo.com/694143567

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