I Wish to be Brave
Memoirs written by students at Winooski High School
Published January 2023
The first day in Winooski School
By Jasuwa PradhanWhen we arrived in vermont. In November 2017 I don't remember the day. We arrived at Winooski at night. It was cold and the next day it started to snow
When I first arrived at school in Winooski I was 13 years old and short I was so scared and confused that I could cry as loud as a lion roaring It was in the winter and the front entrance was muddy. My cousin dropped me I came with my cousin in the car I saw many people in the hallway and there were different colors of students It was noisy and people were talking with each other.Then Mr.Tul came and I went with him to Miss Plasess' classroom on the first day Miss Plasess said “hello ”Then I replied “hello ”Then Miss Plasess asked “what is your name?” I replied, “My name is Jasuwa '' with a shaky voice. I read a book in front of her. In class people welcomed me Later on I cried the whole time in class until school ended and I was afraid When I cried, Mis Plasess comforted me and the student In Miss Plasse class there were Nepali students who helped to translate for me.They said In Nepali “What happened?” Then they translate English into Nepali and Nepali into English They showed me the whole school In class I asked “Where is the bathroom?”Then they showed me the bathroom Then I came to class. When school ended I went home.
On the second day I got lost in the hallway I was confused about which way to go I asked “Where is the classroom?”To Sugam he brought it to chorus class then I said “My name is Jasuwa” In the chorus class there were Nepali students who helped me translate Then the next class wasTA. MyTAwas in that class. I was afraid so I cried. Sugam said “what happened and why are you crying?” in Nepali I didn’t even know how to speak English and I was scared Sugam was in the sameTAas me I was so happy that day to know there were people who speak the same language as me that made me happy and Sugam was the first friend that I made in the USA That was a lifesaver to have
I will never ever forget that I cried in front of the classroom. Now when I think about it again I felt so embarrassed that I would die with embarrassment and I am so proud how far I have come from crying in front of class. I feel lucky that there were people who helped to translate and understand me.
Now, I am 17 years old and tall and not shy. I am in 12 grade. I can speak English fluently and confidently
Journey toAmerica
ByAbdi Osman
When I was young, I always wanted to know howAmerica looked because everyone was makingAmerica seem like it was the best place to live, at making it seem like a paradise and I wanted to experience it myself.“I always dream aboutAmerica being futuristic flying cars, robots and many more
I was never in a rush to get toAmerica I enjoyed my life inAfrica with my big family. Life in a refugee camp wasn't too big or too small I lived in a gated neighborhood I was next door to my neighbors, nobody was too far from each other nor too close The air felt fresh and nighttime would be the best time: the wind blowing, stars bright as the moon The big gate would close around 9-10 PM.There was a big tree in the middle of the neighborhood, some neighbors would fall asleep under it, and some would climb it just to relax
I have three sisters that are older than me and three brothers that are older than me and one brother that is younger than me My mom had five of my siblings including me and two of my other siblings are from another mother but my mom always cared for all of my siblings and had always supported them in a lot of ways even when we didn't have a lot inAfrica but we were happy
My mom would always call her siblings who lived in the United States ofAmerica and they always supported her in financial aid. My mom was the only parent due to my father passing away when I was only two years old My mother had played both roles of parents As a father and a mother, my mom wanted to go toAmerica too and live with her siblings and have a better lifestyle over there My mom is the type of person to care for another person while she's hurting inside She would tell you the truth even though it hurts, she is the type of person to trust for free.
After going through this process in order to go to the United States ofAmerica, I felt as if I was leaving something that I truly valued Still, I was also really excited to go toAmerica because I knew this would become a new journey in life.The worst part was when I had to wait patiently for a month, this month felt like I had been waiting for a whole year Finally, they got back to us and the excitement rose again. but we had to get pictures and fingerprints, and a lot we had gone through that process too. I was happy but at the same time, I didn't want to leave my friends and my family behind
We were packing up for the day we would leave home forever. We were packing everything we could to bring to our new home Everything we didn't want or need we gave it away to our family and friends because they were always supportive and kind-hearted Everyone shows that they were excited, excited just like I was. Before leavingAfrica my family wanted to throw a final goodbye party, and this party got me thinking about how I was going to miss the late-night cable tv shows that came on As Well as everyone who would come to watch in the neighborhood, and go to hang out with friends after running away from school. We were
always climbing trees and getting in trouble My mother was tired of me getting in trouble and she told me that “next time you get in trouble that she was going to scold me.”
After packing the last of our things it was time we headed towards the airport Everyone was screaming for us and wishing us good luck on our flight.This is when I thought to myself that my community was something I will miss a lot. It was my first time On a plane and I had the opportunity to try new foods It felt like I was in paradise Before getting off the plane I turned to my sister and said “life inAmerica is something that will change our lives forever.”
In the next few weeks, there would be many new things I didn't know of or had tried Not just food, but everyone wearing shoes, another thing was having a bit of money, one of the last things were the tall buildings. One thing that remained the same was that my mom was really supportive of my siblings and me, especially because this was a new place for her I would say that I was also really supportive of my mom for the same reason My mom was our anchor that kept us grounded as we navigated our new life inAmerica.
Short Story of My Life
ByAngela SweetWhen I was seven, my mom just had a baby, and we were evicted from our apartment I remember thinking, ¨What are we going to do, where are we going to live? I also remember being scared and worried about my family being evicted
I said, ¨Mom, where are we going to live now?
Mom said, I am going to ask Uncle Mike if he can take us in for now”
I said, ¨Is Uncle Mike going to pick us up, or are we walking to his place?
Mom said, ¨He's coming to pick us up, he does not want us walking ¨You can be happy instead of being sad because Uncle Mike is nice to take us in. In my head I could not stop being nervous I thought to myself, Where is Uncle Mike, and what will happen if the baby gets sick?
It was cold outside I know my grandmothers would want me to be strong and not to cry They would want me to move on with my life and stop crying over them not being here.At that moment, I thought of how they always told me to be strong Suddenly, I realized that Uncle Mike was coming up the road. We would not have to worry about being cold any longer.
My brothers, Skylar and Connor, and I would have been sick if we were kept in the cold any longer We get sick easily To make sure we were not sick, my mom checked our temperature to see if we were running a fever.All of us checked out okay.
I remember the car ride to Mike’s I heard the sounds of people talking and little kids screaming I had the same nervous feeling of riding in cars when cars are moving way too fast I remember the smell of the BBQ of my neighbors house when we left.The cars window was open, and the cold wind hit my skin like it was January I remember being hungry when we got to Uncle Mike's place His apartment looked nice and neat and it was nice and cozy My Uncle Mike was sweet as candy to take the family in. He made us hot chocolate. I tasted like warm melted chocolate on my tongue
My mom was strong in supporting us by asking one of her four brothers, my Uncle Mike, if he could take us in until she could find a place to live. Mike said he would take us in because he had a lot of room where he was living My mom is a brave woman She was a brave woman that did not back down. Never shall I forget the moment when I was 7 years old and my mom found us shelter.
We no longer live with my Uncle Mike We moved almost 10 years ago to Winooski, Vermont.This is because my mom found us an apartment here. When you are evicted, and you have family close to where you live, it is great to have support Family is true
Hard work pays off
ByAnkitAcharyaI'll never forget the day I won the soccer championship It was a Saturday, and the sun was blazing with hearing but for some reason, I still felt cold, so I woke up at 7:20 I was tired but I fought the urge to go back to bed While I was half asleep I went to the bathroom to freshen up In my head, I was thinking, “it's too damn early for this shii ”After a rough battle to wake up, I finally felt awake, after walking back to my room I went and changed Following my exit from my room, I went into my kitchen and there was no food so I decided to make eggs Once I was done eating I made my way to the school to get on the bus I was very nervous about the game, this was a soccer team we hadn't played against When I arrived at the school most of the team was already there I headed over to where my friends were and I said “are you guys ready for the game?”There was a short pause before they started to answer, by the look on their faces I could tell that they were tired after boarding the bus I took my seat near the back, After hitting the road, I put myAirPods in and start listening to music, trying to get into my zone but 30 minutes into the drive I started feeling sleepy so I took a 30-minute nap luckily no one was sitting next to me so I could sleep like I was on my bed with my feet on the other seat After my little I woke up and realized that we still had a lot more time left on the bus, that's when my service wasn't available I was pissed off that I couldn't listen to my music so I yelled “Does anyone have service here” and every one replied NO. luckily I had songs saved to my phone so I listened to them until I got my service back
Upon arriving atApple jack stadium I was stunned that we got to play on a really nice pitch for the state finals.As we got started warming up for the game all I could think of was that I needed to do everything in my power to be able to lift the cup, and if we lost the face of disappointment I would get from everyone who was cheering for the team The pressure was getting to me.
But after a while I started to regain my confidence but then due to a miscommunication between me and a teammate, the other team scored a goal That destroyed me, I kept thinking it was my fault, then we scored a goal to equalize right after our first goal we scored another banger After the 2 goals, the crowd started going crazy and that was when the team got more confident.The crowd was yelling and being very loud. When I looked over at the stands I saw
Ms Caitlin cheering as we had just won the world cup Along with Ms Caitlin, the rest of the crowd was jumping in excitement.
We started playing Winooski soccer and after a little while in the second half, we scored our 3 goals. Everyone started going crazy, and that's when the other team started playing dirty, but luckily time was on our side and before they could score the game was over.The amount of joy that I was feeling was the best feeling I was starting to shed tears of happiness
Finally, the dream to win the state championship was complete.After getting our medals and the “cup” the Winooski fans ran onto the field to share their excitement While everyone was celebrating, I looked over at the other team and I felt bad for them but then I realized that we played with our blood and sweat and we deserved to win. Everyone started taking photos. While our coach was not looking we poured our water on him, as it was a thing we did in the semis after we won
So I made my way towards the bus. While I was boarding the bus everyone was either yelling or trying to take photos After making it to my sea,t I called my uncle to tell him the good news.
The moment he picked up the phone, I yelled “I won the state championship!”
He said, “CongratulationsAnkit! ” He actually didn’t sound that excited, but it didn’t bother me. I was proud enough of myself.Almost an hour into the drive back, we stopped at a pizza place, while I was waiting on the bus to get the pizza, I called a family friend to tell him I had won the state championship, just like my uncle he had played for the coach so he wanted to congratulate him.
Before taking another nap I thought about how the harder you work the better the results you get, and while I was trying to fall asleep all that I could think about was the amount of practice we did to get to this spot.After thinking about how hard work pays off, I started trying my hardest in everything I do so I can experience the feeling of the hard work paying off I took this moment to commit to working harder in school. I now know firsthand that hard work is the most important thing
The Strength of my Mother
By SherihanAbdulazizOne day I was home and I saw my mom rushing around yelling, asking all of us where her shoes were and telling us to get ready fast. We were in our home, inYemen. It was a small house, in a small neighborhood and we had been here for my whole life. My mom and dad had fled Somalia when the war started and she was pregnant with my oldest brother, Mohammed.All of us siblings knewYemen as our only home
“We have to go take pictures for our passports,” my mother yelled in Somali. I was confused. Why did we need passports? Why did we need pictures taken? What was going on?
It was as if my mom read my mind She said, “don’t ask me any questions ”After the pictures, we went home and I heard Mohammed talking about how we would be moving to America
I ran to my mom's room to ask her: “Mom, my brother said we moving , is that true?”
“Shhh,” she said. “Don’t tell anyone until we get accepted.”
Get accepted? I didn’t understand my mom and what she was doing One we had to act We didn’t have a father and she was a single mom with 7 kids, two of whom are sick.There were a lot of people coming to our house checking how our life was. I was just looking at them so confused
The visitors eventually left our small, crowded house. I asked my mom, “Why did we have to act like we don’t have a father and who were all those people?”
Mom responded that our case will go faster if we pretend to be a family without a father I looked at her and I said, “oh okay.” I had so many questions to ask mom.
One day I was helping her with stuff in the kitchen and she said “Sometimes keeping things to yourself it’s better and until you make it then tell them after because if you tell them you never know they will wish bad luck on you.”
The day arrived and we received the news that we got accepted to come toAmerica My mom was so happy that we are moving and going toAmerica. I was both happy and sad at the same time I was happy because I could see how happy it made my mom, but sad because I would miss my family inYemen I knew my dad would have to stay behind inYemen and that worried me.
We still didn’t tell any of our family members until the day we started packing our stuff They thought we found a different house but we told them, no we were moving toAmerica
Everyone was so shocked that they didn’t believe us until they saw the bus that was taking us to the airport They started believing that we were moving and everyone was crying They were like you guys deserve to go toAmerica but don’t forget about us
I was crying so hard because I thought I would never see any of our family members again I was happy and not happy at the same time We went to the airport We were saying bye to everyone and we were waiting so long for the plane. We got on the plane and when it started moving it was so scary I was getting a lot of headaches and I was feeling sick because we had to take so many different planes but we arrived inAmerica
I was looking around. It was so different from my country and it was cold. People were speaking different languages The time I was walking I was daydreaming about how we will live in a big house with a big pool and we don’t have to worry about not having any food or being hungry. People were coming to our house saying “welcome toAmerica” and getting us food and checking up on us
When we started going to school it was hard. I was only seven years old. I didn’t understand what any teachers were saying and it was so hard for me to understand their languages but I hadApolina and Nadine, two new friends They were both refugees like me, and even though they didn’t speak Somali, I knew we would be quick friends.They were there for me helping with school work when I didn't understand anything They understood me when no did So I'm really thankful I met them
My mom was a strong woman even though we had dad but my mom did everything for us She tried her best to bring food for us when things were hard back inYemen We never had money Let's say we were poor back inYemen but my mom always worked hard to bring us food and everything.
My brother Mohmmed was like the father of the house He always worked hard for the family and was always there for us. My older brother and his mom are the ones who always worked hard to bring food for the family
One day when I become a mom, I wish to be brave like my mother and just because she is a strong woman who always had hope inAllah and never lost hope without her we here going to school and have other planes inAmerica that we wouldn’t have inYemen and our mother wanted that for us.
Standing UpAgainst Hate
By BintiAweisOne summer hot day, my friend and I went on a school field trip with the class to the downtown waterfront in chicago to go fishing, it was a few days before the end of the school year and we were told to pack clothing if you wanted to stay in an overnight cab for the week but me and my friend didn't want to so we just went to go fishing for the day
We went on a bus ready to go on a 30 minute drive As all of us were on the school bus we were having a fun time.There was warm wind blowing all around us We finally arrived We ate when we first got there It was lunch so we were all hungry Then we went and played a few games like soccer, volleyball or the playground. I chose to go to the playground and play on the swings and the slide and just have a lot of fun All of the kids took breaks in between activities And the last activity was fishing, canoeing and swimming
Me and a couple of my friends decided to go fishing while others wanted to go swimming We needed to share some fishing rods because there weren't enough Then we got the worms to attract the fish so we got one ready then this family of four came to the same waterfront we were at and were acting like the place belonged to them
When they first stepped out of the vehicle I saw a man and he looked rich from head to toe. He came up walking to the same place we were at after we caught several fish and threw them back At first he smiled at us and he looked really friendly with the shades on and when he took them off he looked like a different person he chuckled a lot and was very suspicious The way he dragged himself he made himself look so dangerous. I looked away to fish.
And as I was fishing we heard a deep voice say “EXCUSE ME, MYTURNTO FISH IN THIS SPOT!!” My friend and I turned around in sync and we both saw the man who looked like he'd been observing what we were doing all along.
Then I said “yes we can slide over for you to fish in this exact spot ”
He promptly said, “you better.”
My friend and I both looked at each other and went to another spot I felt astonished. Later he came back around to where we were and said the same thing again and this time It seemed more of hate this time he yelled at my friend telling her to go back to her country and this is a young time to be experiencing racism.At first we tried to ignore the man but he kept going
He yelled, “This place does not accept people like you ” He said to her and I tried my best to defend my friend as best as possible. But he cut me off as I was saying “We all belo-” and told me to shut up
At this point I was in shock about what happened and I went straight to tell an adult about what was going on.The chaperon came and asked what was going on and I explained to her what was happening and when I was telling her the conversation flipped at this point he was gaslighting.That man was blaming us for saying mean comments to him. It was just hard to believe we soon left
At this point we just wanted to go home I asked her if she was okay but she had been crying the whole bus ride home. I tried being there for her as much as I could and tried helping her I went over to her apartment to see if she was ok after a few weeks of going quiet for a long time and when I went over to apartment she was telling me that she's been feeling sad over what had happened and that she didn't know what to do at this point. I was just so worried about her until she said, “I don't like the way I am ” and I was in so much shock to know that she felt like that, I did feel so bad for her but she wanted to keep it a secret from the world and if that's what she wanted to do I was fine with
From this moment, I learned that If you abhor racism, you can make a difference by fighting it. Nobody at any age should experience something like this. I was proud of myself for trying to stand up against racism and stand up for my friend Unfortunately, I may encounter moments like this again, but I know that I am strong and can use my voice to make a difference
DoingArt in the Dark
Naomi BolioWhen I used to live with my dad in Stowe, we had horrible house conditions but it was what we had, mom and dad would fight a lot (there not together just living together) one night we sat by the table and i sang a song for them They said it was beautiful later that night dad was drawing Marilyn Monroe. It was so good I wanted to do it too, so he gave me a piece of paper and a pen and I started to draw. It wasn't nearly as good as his but it was ok.
My dad is a nice gentleman, thick black hair and dark brown eyes with a honey burnt skin tone He was built from working out, and had long hair and a goatee My dad is Abenaki, he taught me how to fight and to pick out who to trust, me and him were close as I was emotionally connected to him. He understood the pain and struggles I was going through, i remember him calling me on moms phone and said “ i know your going through a lot just know im here for you, and if you need me for anything you know how to contact me i know you feel out of place and the moving isn't helping but you'll make it your stronger than i was..” I cried when I heard that.
My dad made me feel like I wasn't an outcast and that I was enough for him, I didn't care what others thought except him.
My dad has problems but I still love him, he made many bad decisions but for reasons, he learned from them plus we shouldn't judge by the past but the present Over my life I learned a lot, I want to be wise because i would rather know the truth that could hurt me than not know at all then live in a false reality,
My mom is completely different, very pale with thin brown hair and hazel eyes. She's shorter than me and looks like a teenager even though she's 38. She doesnt show her emotions much, she's a very independent woman working most of the day and is hardly home I look up to her and my dad in a way I want her independence and my dad's artistic ability I was practically raised by my brother mom was always at work and dad had split custody, we hardly saw him My mom was not very sentimental bringing home a new dude each year and moving each time it doesn't work or if we don't have the money anymore. Moving killed me over the years, making it hard on me to keep information or make real connections because I knew I was just going to move again I shut everyone out I cut out my emotions so they wouldn't control me I was beyond depressed, until highschool hit I made friends I felt my emotions more and i didnt feel like an outcast The drama at school was kinda funny but it got annoying over the years During freshman year I got into some bad situations but it made me grow as a person. I became more independent, I learned when to talk and when to listen. During my life I've seen death when I had my seizures, I've seen the dark parts of the world and I've seen my world fall down. I'm still growing but everything I've been through I wont forget and I won't forget the people who were there when no one was My dad got me into art and now I pursue that besides singing
I was at my dad's house Maybe I was 13 or 14 I was over for the holidays My dad looked pale, like he lost weight. He was never one to be fragile. His hair long going down past his shoulders, he's built a frame hidden within the baggy clothes that were dirty and torn but I know he could take down 3 times his size. In a way he was my hero because he made me feel like I wasn't different I was normal in his eyes, I was enough, I felt accepted for my flaws That night I was sitting on the couch with my brother next to me He came inside from talking to some people and smoking a cigarette He came inside After looking at him closely he was becoming pale. His figure sat down near the tv, then started to lay down. Going in and out of consciousness. I was scared because I thought he was gonna die..his girlfriend came in the room and saw what was happening.
She looked at him and told him to get up then put his hair into a bun She helped him up into his room saying “Come on man you can't do this in front of your kids ”
I wasn't mad, I was scared of losing him My mind thought he was going to die, I thought I was about to witness my dad's death right in front of me. Now looking back on the moment I know exactly what happened as I was ignorant and didn't know about drugs or the world. Over time he got better but it's been a long time since I've seen him. I saw him once after this but it's been a year since the last time and two years since this happened
I turned my pain and the past into my art, I always wanted to draw like my dad Over time my style was like his but different He's really good at realism but I like to draw more abstractly I'm good at realism but it got boring after a while. Even though I haven’t seen my dad for a while,
his love for art is something that is instilled in me and something that I use to cope with stress and trauma. My book is still being written, some pages blank but I’ll find my own way and right my story how it should be told
My Fight
By Santosh SubbaFor me, soccer has always been special When I was little and lived in a refugee camp in Nepal, I used to be the goalie. Soccer always was a place where I could be free, a place where I could have fun and let go of some of my worries. It made me feel alive.
On the first day of practice in Winooski in August 2022, the day that we first got our team jerseys, another teammate told me, ¨Asians don't belong here in the USA, go back to your country.¨ I could feel my blood boiling and the anger rising up in me. Unfortunately, though, I wasn’t even surprised. I have heard a lot of things like this at Winooski. Even though I was used to hearing things like this, though, it still made me so mad
The coach was far away, and I did not want to say anything because I wanted to stay in the game. I did not care that much, I tried to ignore it, but he kept saying it.
After three or four times of him repeating these insults, I got really mad. I felt like I couldn’t hold it in anymore I tried to take a deep breath but I couldn’t stop myself I got so mad I punched him I punched him in the face, and then he tried to kick me I moved away before he could kick me
After this, three or four teammates came over and separated us. The coach came over and asked me why I punched him, and I told the coach he was being racist. The coach then put me on the other team for this scrimmage
I like to avoid fights, but I like to shadowbox Sometimes I shadowbox with my younger brother Sani. We also wrestle a lot and so we know how to fight if we have to. The racism really makes me mad and sometimes I snap. Sometimes my brother, Sani, snaps too. Sani snaps more than I do We do not like to fight, but sometimes you have to
At the end of that first practice, where I got into that bad fight, we received our soccer jerseys I got the number eleven. I told everyone that I was going for that number, and I got it. I was eleven when I left my country so the number eleven has always been special to me. The teammate that insulted me never came back to practice. Sometimes you win the fights that you want to win.
Standing Up at Taco Bell
By Sali DialloNever shall I forget the time when my uncle Derrek and I went toTaco Bell in SaintAlbans.
My uncle and I had just left my grandma's house, and he asked, “Hey Sali, do you want toTaco Bell?”
I said, “Of course!”
We don't have aTaco Bell down where we live TheTaco Bell that we were going to is attached to a KFC To be honest, it's really run down We parked the car and went inside It was about 12:00, around lunchtime, and as such, quite a few people were standing in line when we walked in There were big red seats and the floor was blue It was very bright there too It smelled like oil and deep-fried chicken Soon, 3 more people walked and the line was getting pretty long but it was moving quickly I could tell on the worker's faces that they were getting overwhelmed
Then a strange man walked in His hair was brown, he had a mullet, he was wearing a red shirt that was ripped in five different places and he was also wearing a pair of dirty jeans He was wearing really dirty steel-toe boots as he walked intoTaco Bell yelling, “I'm so hungry!”
Everyone quickly turned their head toward him At this point, the line started to move pretty quickly There was one group in front of us that had yet to order and there was a group behind us All of a sudden, he made grunting noises Everyone could hear them, they were pretty loud He started to yell, “God what is taking so long? Is it ‘cuz we have these dumb girls working?”
You could tell from the look on everyone's faces that they were all appalled.As his steel toe boots clinked across the floor, he skipped everyone in line.The person at the cash register just looked at him in confusion.
At this point, he said, “Why would someone let a woman work here? Women are slow, they can't do anything right!””
I looked at her and you could tell that she was visually upset. I gave her a look with my eyes. I was trying to say I'm sorry without saying the words aloudOut of nowhere, he whipped out his phone, and he started dialing a number.The next thing you know, the phone right next to the girls started to. She answered it and said, “Welcome toTaco Bell and KFC, how can I help you?”
Everyone then heard him yell into his phone, “You could get my fucking order ready!This is why women shouldn't be in the workplace– they're good for nothing!”
At this moment, my uncle looked at him and said, “Well, they would be able to get their work done if you weren't yelling at them and you distracted her from her job when you called them too, and in my opinion, they're doing a really good job, you're just being a asshole ”
I couldn't believe that my uncle said that I looked around and he had said what everyone was thinking What everyone wished they could say At this point in the conversation, the guy just said, “forget about it ” He walked out of the restaurant Everyone around me looked relieved as we heard his steel toe shoes walk away I could tell that everyone wanted to say something They were trying to build up the courage to say something but never got around to it
My uncle and I walked up to the cash register and my uncle said, “I'm very sorry, he was very rude and no person should ever have to deal with that” We got our food and we got into
the car and my uncle looked at me and said “Do not ever be like that person, jobs are a lot more difficult than they seem ”
We ate ourTaco Bell and drove away, hoping we would never hear those steel toe shoes again I was proud of my uncle and admired how he had stood up and used his voice to do the right thing
A Mother’s Strength
By Nixandy FerdinandJuly 8th, 2018 became the day when I had undeniable respect for my mother, and it was the day when I realized the meaning of a mother’s strength and love
On the night of July 8th, it was like any normal night We cleaned ourselves and went to bed. As we were asleep, we heard the first bullet fire which was soon followed by dozens. The first thing that came to mind was death because hearing these bullets was like hearing my cue to board the train of hell The sounds of gunshots echoed in my mind, and I didn’t know which was louder in my heart or the gunshots I was frozen, my legs and my body stayed still, unable to move, unable to speak, and that’s when I knew the feeling of being paralyzed by fear.
My mom yelled in a panic, “Everybody drop down flat on your stomachs!” I don’t know how I managed to do it, but I did I and the rest of the family immediately followed my mom’s order and lay flat on our stomachs The room was quiet and all we could hear was each other’s breath And that gave me relief, I found relief in hearing a breath because to me at the moment it signified, a sign of life in the room that seemed covered by a thick layer of death.
The shooting went on for two hours, but to me, it felt like an eternity I remember being so scared that I felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my throat At some point, I started having a panic attack, my heart was beating loud and I could only take a few sips of breath at a time, and it felt like I was going to die but at some point, I wish I would. I remember thinking, I hope I die from this panic attack instead of dying by a gunshot. After two hours there was no more shooting noise so we thought it was over and went back to bed, but this was one decision that we came to regret later on
Even though we were weary, we started falling back asleep, but as soon as my eyes closed we heard a noise that sounded like a gunshot, but before we could even think about what it was, our
vision was blurred, our breathing was cut short, and our eyes were burning. We had been exposed to tear gas. As we inhaled the pepper-like odor, I could no longer breathe. I wanted to breathe but every breath I took was difficult and hurtful so I could only try and not breathe I remember yelling, “I can’t breathe!” to my mom, not realizing that she too couldn’t breath
My mom looked like she was about to pass out but some moment later she jumped out of bed and showed us the way to the kitchen with no light whatsoever. We couldn’t open the light because we were scared of alerting the bandits, so my mom had to lead us to the kitchen. So without any light, my mother cut lemons and gave each of us some, and then made her way to the bathroom to get toothpaste to put under our noses She did all of that without worrying about herself, without getting tired, and without ever stopping It was until after all of us were taken care of that she finally took care of herself. We all stayed in the kitchen and waited for the whole thing to be officially over. My brother and my godmother were both asthmatic so they both collapsed and had issues with their breathing for a while. It wasn’t until it was four in the morning that we finally felt reassured and got up from the kitchen floor We went to sleep The gunshots finally came to an end
The next morning breakfast was prepared, and the gas cans were cleared out of our yard, and the only person who could’ve done this was my mother.
Most people are unaware of the immense strength it takes to get up after being in a situation when survival is at stake and continue to cook, clean, and comfort others Being a mother or parent is incredibly difficult because you have to mask your worries and sadness if you don't want your children to feel the same. My mom made me realize that, even a galaxy can’t contain a mother’s love, for it knows no bounds.
My mom that day made me realize just how important a mother is, and how hard it is to be a mother Mother doesn’t just mean feeding the kids, but it’s also being ready to die for them So that day I made a resolution to not have any kids until I know just how much I am willing to sacrifice for them.
Silence
By Sam Galle“What the hell is this?” I froze
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
I side eyed him, afraid to move my head for fear that he could read the thoughts on my forehead, projected as clearly as a movie screen.
He can’t be talking about what I think, right? He isn’t like that--he can’t be like that It’s probably just because it’s yet another Cinderella Story reboot, I grumble at those all the time.
I didn’t know what to do, other than to sink back further into the beige suede couch, praying that the trailer would finish soon enough and the movie would start. Maybe he could forget what we’d seen, forget what he was thinking
I swear that the thoughts boomed too loudly, thundering out of my ears like megaphones, because at just that moment, he turned, as if to challenge me, “They really made a black, gay, Fairy Godmother?”
Something sharp cut through my windpipe.
I hesitated for a moment too long, “Apparently” was all I managed
He didn’t notice, he just turned back to the screen, muttering something else At some point, I found a small, fake velvet pillow, and I squeezed it to my chest, hoping it would hide how I was suddenly trembling
What was happening? What was wrong with me? How did the air turn so frigid, so fast? Against my will, I went into my “Panic Mode” setting, squeezing the pillow until I could feel my fingers pressing into my ribcage, rubbing my bare feet on the bland carpet, back and forth I tried to fix my gaze on the pictures lining the cabinet below theTV screen. My smiling family, all the same shade, all the same size, all the exact way that they have to be in order to be loved
My uncle’s voice cut through again, something about feeling bad for my generation because “they have to ruin perfectly fine stories”, because we “have to deal with this stuff shoved down our throats all the time” He rambled for what felt like hours, but the little clock in the corner of the television told me it hadn’t even been two minutes At some point, The Golden Child started and he completely forgot whatever outrage he had at seeing Billy Porter in a sparkling silk gown Not that I would dare say it, but I thought he looked magnificent And seeing him made me really happy
I wonder what would have happened if I did say something.
Halfway through the movie--an incomprehensible blur--I ran out to use the bathroom
As soon as I made it in, I dropped, huddled in a ball, my back pressed against the door. I was overreacting, I knew I’ve never been super close with my uncle, we only met around Christmas or at the occasional family reunion And I mean, I couldn’t have been surprised, with his army veteran plaque,American flags everywhere, and his friends that would always arrive wearing Make America Great Again caps
But he was still family Whenever we’d visit, I would always be the first he’d pull in with a warm smile and hug, he’d always offer me more food throughout the parties to keep me from “wasting away”, asking all about my life, my friends, my grades, intently listening I could tell he wanted to be closer with my family, with me, his first niece. But if I were to ever let slip who I actually was, I know that I would be met with those same disgusted eyes that used anger to mask their fear of those who were different
And I’m not sure I could bear that.
I stood up, helplessly looking at the tacky bright pink and yellow fish dotting the wallpaper, as if they had the infinite wisdom I so desperately searched for
After the fish failed to respond and I gave a long defeated sigh, I hiked up my shorts and walked back into the living room While I was no longer shaking, an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach, a feeling that I’m afraid I’ll now have to bear every time I see him I crossed my arms as I neared, as if he would see my heart beating through my thin swimsuit top.Aheart that beat in hues his black-and-white world could never understand And would never try to
He turned in his recliner There was that warm, blissfully ignorant smile again “There you are, bug.” He welcomed, waving me back onto the couch beside him. “Come on, this is one of my favorite parts!”
I had all the time in the world.
To say all the things I wanted to say He laughed at something one of the characters said His eyes were glued to the screen, not noticing me searching every inch of his face, so I could remember the kindness in the man that thought I was what he wanted There was only one way to see for sure if his love was as limitless as he claimed So I shifted in my seat.
I took a shuddering breath
And I stayed silent
Buffalo Wild Wings
By Laila HamedIn November of 2021, I was at Buffalo wild wings watching the world cup (the only reason I went is that my friend watches the world cup religiously) Obviously, Buffalo wild wings is packed because it is the finest establishment for watching the game, I was met with an amazing smell walking in buffalo sauce, and I was as hungry as a bear It was especially packed that day and a bit noisy even before the game. I sat down and I could feel the cool wooden chair on my back.
I ordered my regular: fries, carrots, and the best spicy buffalo sauce. While we waited for the food to come we saw a group of men come in and sit behind us at a big table, not a booth so we can see each other (this was before the game) and ordered their food Our food came out first, then theirs, the buffalo sauce melted in my mouth and tasted just as good as usual “Where is the salt?” I thought and promptly found it. The game started with no issues. When someone scored there was a huge uproar of “YES!” and “NOO.” I still remember I could hear my ears ringing because my friend had also participated in the loud screaming match although I can't remember if she screamed “ yes or “no”
About halfway through the game, most of the TV screens- not just the TV’s displaying the world cup glitched for half a second.
One of the men who was white-haired and sitting the farthest from me said “Some Arab cut the satellite ” I was shocked that someone could say that out loud in public with absolutely no shame They all laughed loudly like he was a comedian who had just said something hilarious Before my friend could even say “Leave it”, I replied to the man, “Some Arabs are sitting in front of you. Maybe it was a moment of impulsivity or just plain bravery.
They gawked at me wide-eyed with their jaws on the floor while another man next to their table laughed, they left almost instantly My friend shouted, “That actually worked?!”
It was at that moment I realized that being an upstander can stop harassment. I had decided from then on that I'd be an upstander for justice
The Fair
By Jayda LawrenceNever will I forget the day when my Grandpa came to my rescue
It was a few hours before we left to go to the fair Me and my aunt were making breakfast and getting ready Everything was fine We were excited to go to the fair and spend the day and a little bit of the night By the time we got to the fair and we found our friends we went on rides and ate food and hung out.The adults went to do their thing and me and my friend Carly went to hangout. We saw some of our friends at the fair and so we split up from the adults and hung out with them.About an hour later we went back up and went to find the adults We found them and then we went to this concert at the fair Me and Carly were really bored and didn’t want to watch so we asked the adults if we could go out and hangout with our friends and ride more rides.
“Yes, as long as you guys stay together and don’t get into drama” My aunt said to me and Carly.
“We won't” We both said They gave us money and we found our friends and went and hung out with them. My aunt called us about 30 minutes later.
“At 11:00 meet us in front of the big ferris wheel” My aunt said,
“Ok we will be there” We both said to her
After hanging out for about an hour and half, 11:00 comes around and we are waiting at the ferris wheel like she told us to Our phones were about to die and we called them
“Hey where are you guys?” Carly said.
They didn't answer and then our phones died. We started looking for them all over the fair. We couldn’t find them Around 12pm the fair started closing I was scared and worried We went back to the ferris wheel On our way we stopped at this food place because I had low blood sugar. The food tasted bitter because I was so scared and shaking and had low blood sugar. I didn't taste the food
As we were waiting for food, we found one of them, Carly's dad But my aunt was nowhere to be found. We realized that they got really drunk and they split up because before we left them they were acting totally normal and fine but when we found them they were not fine After walking around for a bit to find my aunt. We FInally spotted her. Carly and I were both crying and shaking because we were scared The adults were so drunk that they were blaming us for them getting drunk “ What do we do?” I said to carly I knew they were drunk because of the way they were speaking and how they were acting. Me and Carly's phones were dead so we couldn't call for help, but my aunt's phone was charged so I grabbed her phone and called my grandpa It was around 1:30pm at the fair
“Michelle andTom are drunk, me and Carly are crying We lost them and they're yelling at us and blaming us for them getting drunk Can you please come get us? '' I said to my grandpa
“Yes, I'm on my way” My grandpa said I could tell he was a little frustrated, but I also knew he would be right there.That’s the thing with my grandpa; he is always there for me.
“ We need to go now!” I yelled at the adults who were drunk
At that moment, I thought of when my mom always got drunk, but I never had to worry because I was little and always in my room We started walking to the exit of the fair to meet him The adults were yelling at me and Carly as we were walking away The smell of my fear was in the air.The wind hit my skin like a cool fall night.
We saw my Grandpa and breathed a silent relief We all got in the car and went back to my house.They were still yelling at us as we drove away. We saw my aunt walking not in a straight line My head was hurting from all the yelling and arguing What would have happened if my Grandpa didn’t answer the phone?. What would have happened if no one was available to get us?
At that moment, I realized that something bad could have happened to us and they wouldn’t have been sober enough to help We found my Grandpa outfront of the fair and got in the car and headed back to my house Me and Carly went into my room and they were out in the kitchen talking to my Grandpa.After a little while of chilling in my room, we went out to get food. When we went out to get food they wanted to talk to us While we were listening to them we started getting upset over the things they were saying. Carly and I started talking about what we had to say. My aunt and her friend started yelling at us. We went back to my room and went to bed They think that it was our fault, but it was theirs because they were the adults and they were the ones responsible for us. I was scared as a cat hiding from a dog, I was mad as another animal taking a dog's toy
Yet, as I reflect on this incident, I realize how important my Grandpa is. My constant life emergency support is my Grandpa because no matter what time it is he will always be there to help If this ever happens again I'm going to make a plan But I also know that my Grandpa will always be there for me.
Airport Conversation
By Mohamed MohamedThe day I realized that racism was still an issue was when I was at the airport with my fellow family members. It wasAugust 15, 2022. We were waiting in line to pass through security at the Chicago airport and were heading back to Vermont
While in line waiting for our turn anAsian woman was talking to the security guard that got people into different lines because there was a large number of people at the airport. I overheard them saying this is taking too long I'm going to miss my flight The security guard said be working the hardest that we can.
The woman said, “Well then work harder”
After some time, my father said, “We’re not even moving ” I'm just on my phone waiting for our turn to go through After another 10 minutes, we were in line and waiting for anArab family to pass to theAsian woman.The rab family consisted of three people: a father and mother and an infant The mother was wearing a hijab The father was about 6 ft tall with black smooth hair baby infant
There was no reason and was being threatened by the security who had their boarding pass and their passport so there was no complete reason for them to be held up.The other caucasian people were passing with no problem and my family member told me it was because arab I had the same thought as well that was when I realized that racism was still an issue in the United States theAsian woman in front of us switched lines because it was taking too long for the family to pass through she said this was outrageous and switched , after an inspection, they finally passed through
Then we were up to pass and we passed My family members were surprised that we passed cause we were a black family but as for theAsian woman she was still in line and was headed off at one point but she chose to switch lines cause the arab family was being held up. One of my family members said a joke on her while she was still in line
At this moment, I realized that racial injustice was still part of many people in the United States
The Ringing Of The Night
By Hailey MorrisonI was running in the streets as cars' lights flashed in every direction. My eyes puffing from the salty tears streaming down my face, my headphones booming music into my ears to drown out the yelling and screams filling the air. “HAILEYCOME BACK!“Yelled my mom from down the street, the beating of my heart racing just trying to get far away from the brawl They told me I won’t run But they were Wrong I was determined I did run and I was not stopping I just wanted the night to stop, someone to hold me tight and tell me “everything is going to be okay.” The thoughts zooming in my mind: All I want is peace and quiet for once without hearing the sound of fighting or needing to stress about everything around me everyday
Hiding in the night behind a building wall filled with colors and happiness around the paint on the wall to block the cold breath of the wind hitting my skin gives it chicken skin on my whole body. Aringing comes to my ears, having my back on the wall and picking up the phone and say “hello.”
“Ah hello dear friend-” he’d jokely said but turned concerned and worried “ you seem not well and is that the wind…?Are you outside..? Did it happen again..” It was the sound ofAion, a close friend of mine
I metAion online even though parents say people online are dangerous. We are still friends and have been friends for 5 years now,Aion had been there for me when people wouldn’t even talk to me or even cared.
I nodded but he didn’t see it He just heard my coat snuffly with my head nodding “Do you want me to stay on the phone..?” he’s asked seriously.
I nod again
“I'm here for you I always am This is not your fault Love is just hard for some people some people just can’t love for long and they don’t know that”
I’d put my hand over my head “Will I be just like my mother ?” I finally speak
Ataste of fear felt like ice along stabbing goes into my chest as the ice cold goes around my open wound building thin ice
He holds his breath and says quietly, “That is for you to choose You get to choose who you want to be in life You also can learn from this You get put in this life to see if you can handle everything you get put through.” I can hear him typing on the computer.
“I’m scared to grow up What if I don’t make it ? High school, college, getting a job, a place I can finally call home,” I respond.
I heard the clicking stop and he said “ I got to be honest you have planned that out You can only depend on yourself, you gotta jump off that cliff and make it into the water..That is your job in life Keep moving when life punches you in the hole and find another way out ”
I realized he was right about everything he told me
I heard a clap with both of his hands “Now I know you like music.. Why don’t we just talk about something else as the music plays ” I’d just listened to his words “And then we can talk about where you can go to sleep I know you are not in the right state of mind or your body it’s panicking, but it is a school night and school is important for you not to be skipping.”
I felt a light go into my heart and warm words of advice being given as I asked questions
“Don’t rush into things if you're not ready for it..” and “ your friends were made to be assholes but also be there ” or “ listen to yourself and no one else Unless you think it’s right ”
As the train horns scream into the city I stood up breathing in through my nose and out my mouth smelling the cold air filled my nose I said “ I’m ready to go back now ” It was at that moment that I was truly beholden to our friendship and I am very grateful that metAion.
Advice is Pretty Nifty
By Campbell SweeneyI grumbled, trailing my dad as he walked up the stairs and into the apartment. It wasn't the best apartment from what I've noticed over these eight or nine years, but it was decent enough I kicked my shoes off, almost falling backwards, and I made a beeline for my room, to fumble with my nametag and finally get back into a t-shirt or something comfortable, at least I started in the kitchen to grab something to eat for dinner (and finally sit down for once today), and threw open the cabinet door just by the stove and grabbed a glass. Nothing special, just some water - which was definitely nice to have, considering my mouth was drier than a desert at that point. I turned my back to the counter and leaned against it, humming a tune that had been stuck in my head for days on end, drumming my fingers on the countertop on beat Suddenly, there was muffled yelling from another roommore specifically, from across the room at the end of the living room.
"Hmph, great " I mumbled to myself
"They're fighting again! God, what else is new?" my sister whined from our bedroom I shook my head, greatly annoyed. I walked in, the now half-empty, half-full glass still in hand.
"What, are you surprised?"
"No, but it's annoying!!"
"Wow, is it really?" I glared at her, loudly sipping from the glass - on purpose, of course. "You're such a nerd " she said, her smile wide as she tried not to laugh at her own remark. I scoffed and smirked, whispering, "die." to her. We're both aware that we don't actually mean it - it's just our way of joking with each other, concerning others that don't know our relationship well?Yes, absolutely Do we care? Not really
"Alright, uhh…I'm gonna go listen to them. Probably nothing different than usual, but," I shrugged, "y'know" She nodded,
"Tell me what they say?"
"Fine." With that, I left the room, clutching the glass in my hand a little tighter than I probably should've been I walked up and placed it on the counter, and walked by the table, trying my hardest not to knock into the corner, but managed to anyway, and it both hurt my side, and moved the table way out of place. I sighed, exasperated, and shifted it back into place. I quickly came up to the door, close enough to hear, but far enough to look like I wasn't snooping Though, I got there fairly late, because mere seconds after I found my spot, my father swung the door open and walked out He noticed me from the corner of his eye and turned his head to face me directly
"What're you doing?"
"Mmmm nothing "
"Well, knock it off " He walked off into the kitchen and towards the back door, also slamming into the corner of the table. He hissed, cursed at the table, and continued. I ran down towards him, watching him by his side as he opened the door and lit a cigarette, humming
"What do you want?"
"Do…do you know why she does this?" My dad scoffed and looked at me from the corner of his eye
"If I knew, we wouldn't be in this mess."
"Are you sure?" He hummed in response Neither of us spoke for a moment, presumably thinking of what to say next, or just thinking generally There was a sudden gust of freezing air that snaked it's way through the door and into the apartment. Me, wearing the t-shirt and shorts combo, realized how stupid it was to wear such a thing in the middle of winter
"You kids shouldn't have to ever deal with this," my dad grumbled out of the blue, flicking his cigarette. I snapped out of my thoughts and sunk into myself a little, anxiously fiddling with my fingers "I know"
"Do you, now?"
"I mean, I'd like to think so."Again, he hummed. He must've noticed how anxious I got, as he started to pipe up
"Look, the best thing to do is just, let it be. Don't let it bug you - it shouldn't bother you at this point in the first place You know you can talk to your aunt if you need to "
"Yeah "
"If you need to borrow my phone, go ahead. Either way, it's not worth crying over, and it never really was You know I'll always put you kids first, and I would do anything for you guys, but there's only so much I can do " I gave him a slight nod, and looked outside, past him He put his arm around my shoulder and hugged me. I hugged him back.
My Parents
By Sean LarkinMy parents are the most important thing in my life, especially my dad even though he doesn't live with me
I have lived with my mom for 16 years My mom is a short woman with blond hair and blue eyes People think she’s nice She’s a true caregiver, looking after me and my three siblings, plus many other step-siblings. In total, I have 10 siblings and my mom is there for all of us.They’re all adults now, but they know that my mom will always be by their side I am the youngest, the baby of the family But we also live with my nephew, so really, he is the baby
The thing about my mom is that If she thinks there is something wrong, she will try to sit and talk to me about it. She will ask me questions about school and about life all together. It is nice to just talk to someone, even if you're talking about something that is not going so well or just talking about my day My mom always makes time for me, even if she’s busy
I was looking for a job for a while and my mom ended up helping me get one with her My mom is always giving me money when she gets paid even though she doesn't have to I know my mom wants the best for me. She is always trying to find a way to help me. My mom is the one who got me interested in drivers ed She is always giving me advice on things like how to spend and save my money to get things I need not want.
My dad lived with me when I was 11 but he ended up going to jail for reasons unknown He has been back in my life for a few years, but recently, it feels like he’s really there for me. I know and my mom is kind of having a hard time getting by My dad is doing pretty well: he has a snowmobile and a 4 wheeler and 4 dogs and a pool
I know that when I go to live with him I will be just as successful as him My dad is getting me a car and I know because of what my dad has done for me and what he is going to do for me that I am going to have a good life.
I just turned 16 and I am realizing how fortunate I am to have the support of both of my parents. Their love doesn’t look the same, but I know I always have both of their support.
How my dad is always by my side
By NurtaAhmedNever will I forget the time when we came back from school and my stomach was hurting. It was last year, I was sixteen. I was fine the whole day when I was at school. Even when I came back from school, I felt fine, but when it was 8:00 in the evening, my stomach started hurting really badly. I took pills but it didn’t help. My dad came back from work. I was still on the couch crying I had never felt like this before It was intense pain, like knives stabbing my lower stomach
My dad asked, “Should we go to the hospital?” I don’t like hospitals so I refused to go and he read the Quran to me It made me feel a little bit better to hear his soothing voice read in Arabic to me
I had school the next day so I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I told my parents that they can sleep and I’ll be fine I went to my room and I tried to sleep but the pain wouldn’t go away I took pills again but it still didn’t help, so I went to Falhado’s room, my sister She stayed up with me, although she had school the next day.The pain got worse so I had to wake my parents in the middle of the night
It was 3am in the morning. Falhado was still awake.
“Falhado? Can you get me a blanket?” I asked her She got me the blanket and asked me if I wanted pills My mom made tea for me She added something I don't know what that was but it helped me. I felt much better. Because of that pain I couldn’t sleep the whole night, I fell asleep in the morning, right when I could hear my siblings were going to school.
My dad is always there for me, just like he was that night. He tells me, and all of my siblings to think about their future He tells us that every time when we're going to school, when we’re coming back home back, when we’re at home.He always tells me to think about my future, he tells me to do what's good for my future He also helps me with my religion He teaches us the Quran He reminds us not to do anything that is forbidden in our religion From what my dad said, education is important to him because he said “if you want a bright future you have to be educated”
My dad dropped my siblings to school, he came back home and waited until I was awake and took me to the hospital.At the hospital, I got some medicine. I looked at my dad, happy to have his support and happy to have him by my side