The SOUR Issue

BUZZSAW the sour issue pucker up.

comment Lemons, warheads, vinegar and the latest issue of Buzzsaw: what do these things have in common? Sourness is their game. Pucker up and get ready for a sour taste in your mouth. You may wince, you may cry, but be sure to shake it off—because you’re in for a treat. We’ll make those lemons into sweet lemonade, turn those sour patch kids sweet and mold the wrinkles on your face into a smile. So grab a lime, squeeze it straight into your mouth and embrace the Sour.

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Audra Joiner Rachael Powles Jack McGranaghan James Baratta Audra Joiner Guinevere Fulleton James Baratta Julia Batista Mateo Flores Seidy Bobadilla Jason Langford Kimberly Morgan Connor Jones Isabel Murray Carolyn Langer Mae McDermott Adam Dee Julia Batista Joe Minissale Kevin Gyasi-Frempah Sara Borsari Brennan Carney Christian Maitre Peter Tkaczyk Carlos Figueroa Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison Arnold Printing Co.

News & Views

Current events, local news & quasi-educated opinions.

Upfront

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Selected dis-education of the month.

Ministry of Cool

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Prose & Cons

Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

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Sawdust

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Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

Write Us!

Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

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oops...

We would like to apologize for a mishap in the last issue, in which we wrongly attributed the fabulous “Knives Out” and “The Lighthouse” reviews, which were in fact written by our wonderful staff writer Tom Lawson. We feel very bad. We are sorry. We love you Tom, and thank you for your writing.

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When Treat Yourself Becomes Toxic How self-care has emerged and transformed throughout the decades //

by Erin Terada, Contributing Writer; Art by Julia Young, Contributing Artist

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elf-care in the 21st century refers to any activity done for the purpose of taking care of one’s mental, emotional or physical health. Originally a term coined from the medical field, then as a social movement in the 60s, the concept of self-care has always been around, but has just recently grown into a $10 billion industry.

As a medical term, self-care was a way for an individual with certain ailments to treat oneself with healthy habits, under the guidance of a medical professional. In the 1960s era of the Civil Rights Movement, self-care became a term for a political act, especially by the Black Panthers and Women of Color. Self-care was a form of empowerment against systems like the mainstream medical field that catered to the majority white population, which proves to be relevant to this day.

Writer and civil rights activist Audre Lorde once wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is selfpreservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

In the present day, self-care has emerged into this generation’s trends as a social practice. Self-care can entail anything from taking a social media cleanse, getting a facial done, doing a week-long juice cleanse, or buying any material goods to “treat yourself.” Because of the rise of selfcare in popular culture, the beauty, and wellness industries are flourishing.

Many companies are able to promote their products through partnerships and ads—targeting the average person scrolling through their feeds. Self-improvement advertisements for products and services use different appeals, especially through celebrity and influencer endorsements that reach potential consumers in hopes of bettering themselves.

While the emergence of the self-care industry has promoted the health of one’s mind, body and spirit, it is a highly capitalized industry. According to Market Watch, the average American spends $2,388 a year on “nonessential items” for the purposes of self-care. The industry has flourished with more and more people “treating” themselves. Does this mean they are genuinely feeling happier and healthier?

The wellness industry, which encompasses all activities that promote physical and mental well-being, is associated with the self-care industry. Like self-care, the wellness industry has brought products and services that are marketed as essential, “feel-good” products.

Although trends like fitness boutiques promote the input of exercise into one’s lifestyle, some of these trends can be detrimental to the body. One of the more well-known and controversial wellness and safe-care products are detox teas. These detox teas claimed to help with decreasing water retention, bloating and weight loss. Brands like Flat Tummy Tea or Fit Tea are often promoted by celebrities and social media influencers as being their “go-to” teas to

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cleanse themselves before a big red-carpet event, or after the holidays. While these teas are marketed as natural and healthy, many contain an herbal laxative called sennoside, which can be potentially dangerous when consumed in large quantities and has been linked to eating disorders. This issue has become so controversial that certain social media platforms have censored posts from users younger than 18 that endorse these diet products. This is just one example of the harmful effects of an industry that appeals to consumers, but disregards what they are supposed to stand for.

Self-care has evolved throughout the decades and there is no doubt it will continue to evolve in the future. In a country where stress levels are rising among the population, the self-care industry may progress into one that emphasizes more on catering towards one’s mental health needs.

While the products and services commonly associated with self-care offer short-term relaxation and contentment, the industry itself is highly capitalized. Focusing more on mental health and wellness may shift the views of the public on what self-care should be as opposed to what it actually is.

Erin Terada is a second-year journalism major who will be burning her face masks in protests. They can be reached at eterada@ithaca.edu.

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Examining

When Life Gets Sour,

Toxic Relationships

Sweeten it

with Gratitude

Know the red flags before things get sour // by Christian Maitre, Staff Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Artist

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r. Lillian Glass, who coined the term in her book Toxic People, defined a toxic relationship as, “...any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

An article by Healthscope, a health and wellness publication, asserts that toxic relationships negatively affect a person’s self-esteem and lowers their energy levels. The article suggests that there are many different types of toxic behavior, but a toxic relationship is one where these toxic behaviors are the norm.

According to an article by Psychology Today, a person’s tendency to look for toxic relationships stems from negative experiences in childhood. Most people don’t know they’re in a toxic relationship until someone else has to point it out for them.

Relationships that are toxic are co-dependent, meaning the other person constantly relies on you. You might give them support, but that support is unrequited.

A common scenario involving a toxic relationship could involve a friend owing you money. You ask them to pay you

back, but weeks go by. Now it’s six months later and they still haven’t paid you back. This relationship is toxic because the other person doesn’t hold their end of the agreement within their relationship. Toxic relationships don’t always have to be romantic; they can be between friends, coworkers or acquaintances.

Toxic relationships can lead to verbal, financial and physical abuse. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, almost 20 people per minute are physically abused by a partner. 1 in 7 men and 1 in 4 women have been victims of physical abuse in relationships.

Health effects such as post-traumatic stress disorder, unintended pregnancies, hypertension, chronic pain and anxiety can all affect participants after the toxic relationship is over.

If you think you, an acquaintance, a friend or a loved one is in a toxic and/or abusive relationship here are some numbers that can help: • Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 • 24/7 Crisis Hotline: (800) 981-4357 • Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Christian Maitre is a second-year journalism major who just wants you to be safe. They can be reached at cmaitre@ithaca.edu.

Our lives are not controlled by the negative // by Lytiek Gethers, Staff Writer

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hat is sour? Oxford Dictionary defines sour as “(of people) not cheerful; unfriendly and unpleasant.”

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines gratitude as: “the state of being grateful, thankfulness.” Many people fail to understand how gratitude can change a life and alter one’s perception for the good. A life without gratitude is often an unhappy, unfilled life. Putting a little gratitude in your daily life is a first-step to achieving many of your hopes, dreams and goals.

Whenever life knocks you down or if you don’t feel good enough do not beat yourself up. I say you should not beat yourself up because there are worse things happening in the world. There are some people who can’t afford basic necessities such as food, water and shelter. These three commodities are the most essential to survival. In first world societies we stress about minor things. We stress about materialism, social status, physical appearance or not getting a big paycheck. These things are superficial because we can lose them in a quick second. As they say, “count your blessings.”

It is important that we count our blessings because today we fail to recognize what we have right in front of us.

Often times we take things for granted. What do I mean by that? We complain about things such as lacking social status, or not being the best in everything. When we complain,

it reveals our ungrateful character. Instead of complaining about what we don’t have, we should be grateful that we are alive and have the ability to see because there are people in the world who are blind or don’t live long.

A main problem in modern society is the inability for people to differentiate between what they need and what they want. Our generation is caught up in owning the next best thing such as the latest phone, computer or car. Everyone is caught up in what they want and not what they have. This is what contributes to all the negativity that surrounds us. People act entitled because they want to look good rather than be themselves.

When I feel sour with life, I try my best to show gratitude. I compliment people, try to inspire, say “thank you” and I give whenever I have the time to do so. I do these things because I think these things are the true keys to life.

Whenever I feel like I am doing something that is uplifting people, I feel good inside. Whenever I am sour I notice it causes more harm than good. From personal experience I lost essential people and connections because of my bad attitude. When you feel sour try your best to be kind to people. Being kind is a good distraction from bitterness and anger. If some people are being mean to you, walk away from them.

Lytiek Gethers is a third-year politics major who always looks on the bright side of life. They can be reached at lgethers@ithaca.edu

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Unfortunate Sons

Within the

Maintaining a volunteer military in the 21st century // by Leo Baumbach, Staff Writer

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any modern developed countries around the world still uphold the ancient practice of compulsory military service: the Swiss, Koreans, Israelis, Austirians and French to name a few. By contrast, the United States consists of a volunteer military despite having one of the largest and most well-funded militaries in the world. A fair amount of that funding goes into paying for the higher education of young men and women enlisted in Reserve Officer Training Corps, or ROTC for short.

ROTC was founded in 1916 right at the start of the United States’ involvement in World War I. Before that, the existence of military colleges was not a foreign concept, with many receiving state-sponsorship as early as 1862. Students would join these schools with the hopes of receiving a commission faster than the average enlisted individual.

Commissioned officers are bureaucratically separate from non-commissioned officers in the military. There are entirely different ranks and roles and entirely different attitudes about those ranks; while a commissioned officer like a colonel may expect you to address him as sir, non-commissioned officers like drill sergeants expect to be referred to by their full rank.

Commissions were and still are status symbols in the military but with the introduction of the ROTC, demographics for commissioned and non commissioned officers in the military have diversified quite a bit.

In 1973, two years before the fall of Saigon and the formal end of the Vietnam War, the secretary of defense, Melvin Laird, announced there would be no further draft calls. This was in response to the nation-wide call to abolish the draft by protesters and politicians alike. After this, selective service was instituted by the Department of Defense in conjunction with Congress, which required all able-bodied men over the age of 18 to register for a national draft. Many of the young men reading this article are most likely aware of this policy as it enables one to apply for federal student aid, but may not be familiar with the finer details. It keeps the military a volunteer organization but in emergencies, numbers will be called and young men specifically will be drafted as women are exempt from this process.

The definition of ROTC seems to have changed very little to its recruits. When my grandfather signed up in the 1960s he was concerned with paying for school and having employment throughout college. To him, it was an opportunity to serve, and earn his way through school. Today, it is not too different. Even expectations are somewhat similar. My grandfather served in Vietnam, but he never expected anything of that magnitude to happen in his military career. When Jake and Dane were asked about active duty, combat, or tough situations in the national guard, they gave short answers, saying that they would do their job or that they had not really considered those sorts of scenarios before.

Some were drawn to the program for ideological

purposes, and not so much for money, like one student Dane R. He stated that he had a desire to serve his country in a way he found meaningful and his definition of service included the army. Junior Jake B. joined for more practical reasons but still maintained that the principle of having a good work ethic was just as good as any political or moral ideology that might draw someone to the service.

This commitment to the unit, and to the job rather than the ideology and political motivations associated with the military is important to understanding why America can afford to keep a volunteer military on lock.

An emphasis is placed on trust in the chain of command, the idea that orders have to make their way down the chain and that there is a level of trust between a soldier and their commanding officer to direct them in a moral way when giving orders. Dane R. mentioned that he trusts his commanding officer to give him good orders because that is the relationship they have built-in training. The orders coming out of the mouth of an officer ultimately have their origin at the Pentagon. But to the soldier receiving them, that seems to be abstract.

In interviewing these young men, I found that political ideology plays less of a role in their motivations than many people think and that while they are obligated to follow orders from either the governor of their respective state or the commander in chief and the chiefs of staff, they do not see themselves as potential tools of these regimes and power structures. Jake B. mentioned an experience he had of being confronted in an elevator while in uniform. He was asked why he condones the murder of Afghani children.

He did not choose to elaborate on the confrontation but he says that these days, comments like that do not affect him as much and that his role as a soldier in the National Guard is no more a part of his identity than being involved in extracurriculars like club lacrosse or hockey on campus.

He does not see himself as a tool of political violence, as a supporter of the murder of Afghani children.

While many of us want to make sweeping assumptions about the men and women in uniform, the truth is that they are human beings like us. At the end of the day, to serve is a decision made based on circumstance as much as personal principles. Movies, the media, pundits and recruitment officers, will have their own narratives about the men and women who serve. The soldiers in these specific narratives will become heroes and warriors, murderers and maniacs, victims and perpetrators, in short order, dramatizations of the people who are actually enlisted.

The truth is a lot harsher than that. These young people that serve are as human as any other, with dreams and aspirations and lives. They are family members, friends and peers who have been turned into tools of political violence by the powers that be. The blood of young people and teenagers is as much on the hands of the brass as is the blood of civilians in foreign countries. There is no good, no bad, only ugly.

Echo Chamber Villainizing your opposition only leads to ignorance // by George Christopher, Staff Writer

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n 2015, the Shawnee Mission East High School in Prairie Village Kansas held a debate regarding the use of the Confederate flag. The debate, which is available on YouTube and goes for about an hour, centers mostly around a young white male student who insists that the Confederate flag is not a sign of racism, but rather a sign of defiance against government overreach. Most of the arguments made are pretty much what you would expect from a group of high schoolers. But one statement really stuck out to me. The young man who insisted that the Confederate flag isn’t racist was told by a fellow student to take a history class, and this may explain why so many people find the flag offensive, and what the Confederacy truly stood for. But the young man simply responded by saying that all of the teachers are employed by the government and that makes them inherently biased towards the Union cause.

This got me thinking about a major problem our society faces: the attempt to discredit all. We’re often told about echo chambers, but one question that isn’t always asked is, why are we in the echo chambers to begin with?

One answer could be that we convinced ourselves that all those who don’t confirm our beliefs have a bias or a conflict which makes them untrustworthy, and we’ve allowed ourselves to ignore the facts they present us with. This has been done with many people and organizations, the most notorious of which is the media, which has been branded as liberal ever since the 1960s when it was attacked by segregationist George Wallace for its negative and accurate portrayal of the civil rights movement. But one group that gets a similar amount of slurring done against them is academia. This brings me back to the student in that high school debate. That young man convinced himself that no matter what facts are presented to him, that the Confederacy was built for the preservation of slavery, he can simply ignore it by accusing his teachers of bias.

While I do believe that this young man was being disingenuous on a certain level, he isn’t the only one who pushes that narrative that academics and teachers can’t be

trusted. PragerU is an online organization which features videos on several topics ranging from history to economics. It was founded by a man named Dennis Prager, a conservative radio host, and many see his organization as an attempt to counteract what conservatives believe to be a left-wing bias on college campuses. The videos are roughly 5 minutes long and cover a wide array of topics, but generally fall into the paleoconservative ideology of Prager. Many have accused the organization of indoctrinating young people, and filling their videos with lies, half truths, and cherry picked evidence.

But most disturbing is how organizations like this push the idea that entire swaths of people can be disavowed because of a stereotype made about their political ideology. While there is evidence that professors lean left, this is certainly not inherent to all professors, and their ideology does not make the facts they present untrue. It’s understandable to take a person’s political bias into account when analyzing an argument, but to use it to ignore facts is ludicrous.

And the Right isn’t the only one guilty of it. I’ve observed plenty of liberal personalities attack conservative or others ideologies as being unreliable because of alleged corporate interests. While it is completely fair to take these things into account and publicize them, you cannot use it to discount inconvenient truths.

To be clear, I am not saying that we shouldn’t take certain people’s opinions with a grain of salt, or even certain organizations. It is completely fair to view a certain individual as untrustworthy because of half truths and outright lies they’ve told, but the problem comes in when vast swaths of people are discounted this way. For example, it’s fair to say a right-wing publication like InfoWars isn’t reliable, but that doesn’t mean any and all organizations that lean right can’t be trusted. There are plenty of news organizations which have right wing slant, but still do fair and legitimate journalistic work. Our goal as a society should be to amplify those voices on all sides, and not drown them under the stroke of a broad brush.

George Christopher is a first-year journalism major who has never listened to InfoWars. They can be reached at gchristopher@ithaca.edu.

Leo Baumbach is a second-year english major who has nightmares about an involuntary draft. They can be reached at lbaumnach@ithaca.edu.

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Pessimism vs.

Realism A dive into pessimist and realist thinking // By Matthew Festa, Contributing Writer

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person’s decision-making skills can be conditioned and trained like any other one. But they can also be damaged, altered, and contorted. Pessimistic views and realistic ones counter each other in an interesting way that when analyzed, show how easy it is to sink into one, and provide those that have sunken, insight on why they should put in the work to overcome it. But sensibly so, there isn’t one single solution, and it would be redundant if I said “just stop feeling this way.” But I can point out some differences between them, and you can decide what to do with them.

Pessimistic world views notice the flaws in everything first, and need to find something to blame, whether it be themselves, someone else, or an uncontrollable entity. This is usually where their point of view tends to endure. As long as they know whose fault it is, they don’t need to find a way to accept or adapt to the consequences. They hold onto their resentment and find no need to recognize or consider any solution for it.

Realistic world views consider flaws to be inevitable, making it easier for them to notice the good that comes from the bad, and the bad that comes from the good. Creating an overall, logical and objective viewpoint that considers all sides and does not subscribe to one entirely is crucial. They tend to understand their place in the world, and how it applies to everyone else’s, with an admittance that their feelings are theirs and theirs only. They are often grounded, clear-headed and non-judgmental through their own critical thinking. Their observations (rather than criticisms) show hope to come to an effective decision that helps everybody and make sure not to get exuberant when it works, distraught when it doesn’t.

A realistic observation is logical and looks at life with what has been learned with the experiences that a person has been through. They would look at their disagreements with something as just that. They make sure to notice the intent of an idea or action as something that was motivated by the person/people creating it for the sake of their own self-gain, not anybody else’s detriment.

While pessimistic observations tend to see things against the experiences that the person has been through, and looks for reasons to disagree with anything that relates to them, indirectly or directly, they tend to not be able to separate their feelings from facts If there is something they disagree with, but was not intended for their consideration in the first place, they may still feel directly attacked, and neglect to observe the selfish intent of whatever spawned the negative consequences in the first place, without putting their feelings about it in the forefront.

Though I believe there are people that like to lean more towards certain tendencies that revolve around these different types of decision-making skills, I don’t think they are consistent enough to be labeled as completely pessimistic or realistic people. I think most people can have their bad days and good days, and depending on the subject a person is thinking about, I think they can have a variety of reactions that will fall somewhere between optimistic, pessimistic or realistic depending on their experience with that subject. I wouldn’t recommend totally defining yourself as one or another, because you would just wind up setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, take it one decision at a time, and notice when you are getting your hopes up, when you are romanticizing the worst, and when you are just overthinking.

Matthew Festa is a second-year writing for film and tv major who is a realist at heart.

They can be reached at mfesta@ithaca.edu.

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The Strain Game How Sour D came to be // by Lucy Calderon, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

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nce upon a time in the mid-90s, in a land called New York City, there was a farmer known as AJ. He was an underground farmer because during this time, the ruler of the land—Mayor Rudy Giuliani—deemed the product AJ grew unlawful. The ruler ordered the apprehension of anyone found growing or using this plant—marijuana—in any way through a policy called “broken windows,” which supports the idea that if the drug epidemic is neglected or overlooked, then it will get worse.

One evening at a nightclub called Wetlands, a mysterious man introduced AJ to a product called Chemdawg 91. When AJ smoked Chemdawg, it just felt right, and weirdly familiar. He said to the little plant, “We’re gonna be friends. We’re gonna be together for a long time.”

AJ learned how to grow Chemdawg on his own, and as a result, their relationship grew as well—then something abnormal happened. There was a mishap in his crop, and Chemdawg made love to another product. Some say the mystery lover was called “Super Skunk,” a strain that AJ obtained on a trip to Amsterdam. Others say it was a product called Northern Lights. What people can agree on is that the result was something magical. AJ decided to call the accidental creation “Diesel” for its gasoline-like aroma.

The news of Diesel and its dreamy, hazy, cerebral effects spread around the city’s boroughs and requests for the product came in like wildfire. Diesel was considered so top-notch that people in NYC used “diesel” as code for good weed. The demand was so high that AJ had to pick and choose who he bestowed his creation upon. Legend has it that as more and more people fell in love with Diesel, they grew more sour because they couldn’t get enough. The strain soured relationships, and that is when AJ solidified the name of his product as “Sour Diesel.”

Today, Giuliani no longer rules New York City, and the product AJ grew—cannabis—has become more socially accepted. Cannabis is decriminalized in the state of New York and Governor Andrew Cuomo has set a goal to legalize cannabis statewide in 2020. Eleven states and Washington D.C. have already legalized cannabis use. Either way, people all over the country and all over the world enjoy the East Coast delicacy of Sour Diesel. According to Leafly, the largest cannabis information site in the world, Sour Diesel serves the medical needs of people who suffer from anxiety, stress, depression, PTSD and mood disorders.

“I have been studying cultivation since 2001,” said Kymberly Byrnes, co-founder and managing partner of Tribe Tokes and Tribe Beauty, CBD and Cannabis lifestyle brands.

“I have always been super interested in cannabis and the different strains, and Sour Diesel was such a phenomenon,”

Byrnes said. “I think that seeing Sour Diesel become a medicine really just makes me fall in love with the strain even more.”

People also enjoy Sour Diesel as a way to brighten their mood and increase their creative energy. Rapper Redman, also known as Reggie Noble, said in an interview with The High Times that Sour Diesel is one of his favorite strains to help him focus while he is in the studio.

AJ doesn’t like to say he created Sour Diesel, but AJ doesn’t like to say he created Sour Diesel, but instead feels like he is its “servant and keeper.” We don’t know too much about AJ. He has made small appearances in interviews with Merry Jane and on the Adam Dunn Show to spew wisdom about Sour D. We don’t know for sure the true story of Sour Diesel, and AJ doesn’t know for sure how the strand was created, or what strain was crossed with Chemdawg. Different people say different things and speak of its origin story as folklore, even down to the name. Byrnes received what she believes to be true from Ed Rosenthal, horticulturist and co-founder of the High Times. They believe that Sour Diesel got its name from its pungent, citrusy scent.

Another theory is that Sour Diesel is actually not crossed with anything, it is just the Chemdawg that AJ grew himself.

“Sour Diesel doesn’t have a birth certificate, so it’s all based on legend,” Byrnes said.

Some of the greatest phenomena are the most widely twisted, and the Sour D strain has taken the cannabis industry by storm. Diem Cannabis Dispensary described Sour Diesel on their website as the “Coca-Cola Classic” of Sativa strains. Sour Diesel’s popularity has caused growers everywhere to try and obtain a cut of the strain. While manufacturers attempt to recreate Sour Diesel, it is not that easy.

“Cannabis is a little territorial-like just how fruits and vegetables can be,” said Red Rodriguez, the Original Cannabis Cafe Director of Vendor Relations. “Everyone gets a cut or a clone of the mother plant that can be distributed to other growers, but everyone has a different process of growing it. I think it comes out a little different, it’s not necessarily the same all the time.”

Sometimes people will try to grow Sour Diesel themselves by buying the seeds from a grower, and other times growers grow any strain and sell it as Sour Diesel.

“I’ve been smoking it since the ‘90s,” Byrnes said.

“It was really expensive and I think that sometimes people were selling it and it wasn’t even Sour Diesel, but the goal in life in the late ‘90s and first decade of the 2000s was to get Sour Diesel.”

People reach out to old friends who have

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maintained the same cultivars to find the originals to reestablish even more new lines, but the original is still out there.

A common misconception is that a weed’s potency has something to do with the actual name of the strain.

There are over 80 strains of weed called “sour” that are all very different in terms of potency and cannabinoid-type.

Names are just used to commercialize the strain and are chosen by the grower. Combining Sour Diesel with another strain to make a new one adds a level of popularity to that strain, but the new strain can produce different effects from those of its parents.

“It is also important to note that some strains are bred for specific effects or selectively bred to possess more of one genetic trait than another or the provided effects of

the strain itself manifested as more Sativa-like than Indicalike,” Marisa Fowler, a Customer Support Specialist for Leafly, said. “In general, classification is a largely diverse practice and the criteria isn’t really based on specific math.”

As cannabis becomes destigmatized, so does cannabis research—continuing to grow just as the plant does. Maybe we will never know what actually happened in AJ’s little NYC garden in 1991. What we know for sure is that whatever it was, it created Sour Diesel, one of the most influential cannabis plants. It lives on as a strain, parent and legend. Sour D is only a leaf off the stem of marijuana’s rich history.

“I’m not a big smoker currently of Sour Diesel,” Byrnes said. “But if it comes around and it’s there I’m always excited to party.”

Lucy Calderon is a first-year journalism major who brought Above the Influence to their high school. They can be reached at lcalderon1@ithaca.edu.

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Nic’d

and Department of Health and Human Services reported that e-cigarette use was the highest among high school students who were white and male.

Maione said vaping is popular during social activities, especially those that involve underage drinking.

“From my experience, alcohol and nicotine are a great mix,” Maione said with not only a smile, but a laugh as well. “Taking a few hits from a pen that delivers nicotine amplifies that level of intoxication—it makes you feel two different sensations simultaneously.”

Health Risks of Vaping

A nation under the influence // by James Baratta, Upfront Co-editor and interim Seesaw Editor

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trawberry-scented clouds drift across the dash of my ’03 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo as it nears 80 miles per hour down a straight-away on Ocean Parkway in Long Island, New York. The angsty 19-year-old in the passenger seat turns up the song “Wizard of Oz” by Logic as he sucks down another hit of his vape—the device crackling steadily like a summer fire. More clouds swarm the console as if they are phantoms; the rather sunny day is young… and we are out for a drive.

Nick Maione, 19, is one of many underage people who vape in the United States. He started smoking marijuana at 14 and moved onto vaping shortly after. The number of underage individuals who vape has increased steadily in recent years. The vapor industry, anti-smoking campaigns and the American government remain in dissonance with one another.

People like Maione continue to fight the battle against nicotine addiction.

“Vapes are a more advanced cigarette, and it’s the cigarette of our generation,” Maione said. “We’re putting chemicals in our body that don’t belong… any ingested chemical is not healthy, it’s just a matter of how it’s going to kill us.”

Maione said what began as a social activity progressed into an emotional habit. He frequently turns to his device, a SMOK Novo, in times of stress.

“Smoking is nice for me because it forces me to take a second, take my face out of my book, take a rip, relax and go back in,” Maione said. “It sounds like I am super dependent on it, and maybe I am, but I can put it down at any time.”

Vaping in America According to a joint study conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Center for Disease Control (CDC), tobacco usage among teens has become increasingly prevalent than it has in the past with combustible products like cigarettes, cigars and chewing tobacco.

In recent years, the usage of combustible tobacco

products among teens has actually decreased and appears to be on a downward trend. A study from 2017 conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the CDC, reported that in 2011, 21.8 percent of high school students used combustible tobacco products, but in 2017, usage decreased to 12.9 percent.

While the use of tobacco products like cigarettes and cigars has been decreasing steadily among teens, vaping has increased. The CDC said that in 2011, only 1.5 percent of high school students used vapor products.

However, in 2018 almost 21 percent of teens reportedly used these devices.

It is clear that more teens are vaping instead of smoking, and because of this, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is cracking down on e-cigarette companies to prevent any further product misuse. According to the Truth Initiative, the non-profit organization whose mission it is to eradicate tobacco use among American teens and young adults, the FDA’s plan, if implemented, would reduce the rate of adult smoking from 15 percent to 1.4 percent by 2060.

The FDA proposed a plan to deter teen nicotine use involving the ban of certain e-juice cartridges, flavored cigars and menthol cigarettes from the market. All of these products, collectively, have attributes like flavors that make them more appealing to underage smokers.

A press release by the Truth Initiative stated that “Flavored e-cigarettes are especially dangerous, not only because they attract youth, but because their young users are likely to be misinformed about the harmfulness of the products.”

The most popular vapor product today, JUUL, has found its way into the hands of underage youth with its flavored nicotine products. Before the recent ban, which went into effect in February 2020, the company’s pods came in flavors like fruit, mint, mango, cucumber and crème.

The basis for the FDA’s proposal is that fruity flavors appeal to younger, inexperienced smokers. According to the Truth Initiative, research shows that these flavors make smoking seem less severe among teens and are more popular than other flavors. The 2017 study from the CDC

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The amount of nicotine in a single JUUL pod is 5 percent, which is equivalent to the amount of nicotine in a whole pack of cigarettes. Like many vaporizers, JUUL pods contain a wide array of chemicals that are inhaled into the lungs. Some of these chemicals include glycerol, propylene glycol, nicotine and benzoic acid.

Benzoic acid is often used as an additive to antifreeze and causes irritation to the respiratory system when smoked. The highly-addictive chemical, nicotine, has its own plethora of side effects, especially when it’s frequently used by underage smokers. Nicotine boosts concentrations of dopamine in the brain and activates a reward pathway similarly to how opiates and other drugs do.

It also kills existing brain cells and prevents the production of new ones. According to the University of Rochester, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls planning and behavior, doesn’t stop developing until age 25. This puts teens at risk for impeded brain function, especially in tandem with alcohol consumption.

“Nicotine in any form has a negative impact on developing brains continuing through early adulthood and risks teen and young adult susceptibility to other addictions,” Robert Koval, CEO and President of the Truth Initiative, said in an article.

In a survey from the University of Chicago, University of Minnesota and University of Cambridge, nearly 10,000 college students who vaped and/or drank alcohol were asked about their impulsive, compulsive and mental health tendencies. The survey showed that there was a correlation between e-cigarette users and various mental health issues. The report states that “Those who used e-cigarettes were significantly more likely to have mental health histories of ADHD, PTSD, gambling disorder, anxiety, report low self-esteem, and endorse traits of impulsivity.”

A study conducted by Wolters Kluwer Health concluded that people who vape are more prone to hypertension, or increased blood pressure. This is caused by arteriolar micro-constrictions in blood vessels. Scientists from the American Physiological Society also conducted a study that corroborated this information when they found that vaping causes “arterial gas constriction” reduced oxygen flow in the bloodstream and irritation of the lungs.

The continued inhalation of foreign particles into the lungs can cause bronchitis obliterans, commonly known as popcorn lung. The condition, according to MedicineNet, is a lung disease that causes shortness of breath, coughing, night sweats and fevers. The onset of this is specifically caused by diacetyl, a chemical in e-juice used for flavoring.

Can Vaping Cause Cancer?

Although the chemicals in vaporizers are not known carcinogens, doctors have speculated the cancer-causing potential of vaping.

Dr. Laura E. Crotty Alexander, Associate Clinical Professor at the University of California at San Diego and Staff Physician with the VA (Veterans Affairs) San Diego Healthcare System, conducted a study with 12 other doctors on the effects of e-cigarettes on cells in 2015. They found that vaping causes double-stranded DNA breaks and increases cell death.

“Every time you have a double-stranded DNA break, it’s harder to repair and you often make mistakes with your repair machinery inside your cell when it tries to repair that DNA break, it makes mistakes and those mistakes can lead to cancer because it changes the cell,” Crotty Alexander said. “We found other things that have direct effects on the cells that can be an indicator that this can lead to cancer down the line.”

The ingredients in e-liquid typical of vaping devices are not carcinogenic. However, when vaporized these chemicals become carcinogenic substances.

“Nicotine is converted to nitrosamines when the e-cigarette vapor hits your airways and nitrosamines cause damage and harm to the body,” Crotty Alexander said.

“When the glycerin and the propylene glycol are vaped and are exposed to air and humidity, they get converted to formaldehydes.”

Crotty Alexander said that the chemicals present in e-liquid change as they are vaped, and the human body is exposed to chemicals that are considered carcinogenic.

“If you go one step further . . . the chemicals that you see there were not what was in the e-liquid or vapor,” Crotty Alexander said. “These things, they evolve as they interact with the mammalian system.”

In 1964, when people realized when smoking caused cancer, motions to regulate the widespread and falsely advertised product began. Although the research on the correlation of vaping and cancer is filled with predictions, a direct link between the two has yet to be officially established.

“We didn’t know cigarettes caused cancer for like 50 years,” Crotty Alexander said. “Hopefully, e-cigarettes are not going to cause cancer . . . but there are multiple signals that show they are causing very similar patterns if you put them side-by-side with conventional tobacco.”

The Influence of JUUL Labs An entire subculture has emerged surrounding the three-and-a-half-inch, nicotine-brandishing flash drive from JUUL Labs and other devices like the Suorin Drop, SMOK Nord and myblu pen. According to a CNN article from December 2018, JUUL once collectively paid Instagram influencers nearly $10,000 to promote the product. This was terminated in October 2018 and had just under 20 paid individuals involved in the ad campaign.

“JUULs are extremely, extremely crafty because the company has done something pretty ingenious,” Maione said. “Not only have they created those fruity flavors, but they also made a small, sleek device that resembles the

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appearance of a flash drive.”

JUUL has infiltrated American culture. Aside from the countless memes that can be found in an Instagram search for the device, terminology related to vaping has changed as per JUUL’s domination of the industry.

“People ask me ‘Can I see your JUUL?’” Maione said. “The device I use is not a JUUL, the device I use is by a company called SMOK, S-M-O-K; JUUL has become so wellknown, and so widespread, everybody just assumes [that] every vaporizer is a JUUL—I find that kind of funny.”

The FDA’s Proposal and its Effects on the Vaping Industry In July 2017, the FDA announced its policy to prevent teens from using tobacco products. In their announcement, the FDA made it clear that they were finally cracking down on the e-cigarette market that had been responsible for selling nicotine products to underage youth.

Companies that were targeted included goliaths like Logic, Vuse, Blu and JUUL to smaller companies like, Suorin SMOK, Pax Labs and hundreds more.

In this proposal, they stressed the establishment of pre-market applications, which require e-cigarette companies to undergo a series of tests used to determine whether or not their vaporizers can continue to be sold on the market.

The FDA is also ordering e-cigarette companies to prove that vaping has a benefit to overall public health.

Testing required of these companies would have to be done on a gargantuan scale. Not only will all e-cigarette companies need to undergo tests that evaluate ingredients and recipes, but various laboratories must also conduct physiological and psychological studies.

Cheryl Richter, Executive Director of the New York State Vapor Association (NYSVA) said that this testing would bankrupt the vaping industry.

Small-time vape companies have called for more guidance in FDA policy throughout the long process of refining pre-market application deadlines. Richter said that without guidance, the hundreds of smaller vaping brands on the market will go out of business because of the FDA’s plan.

“We don’t have any final guidance from the FDA of what they truly expect from us,” Richter said. “It’s going to put everybody in the industry out of work—every distributor [and] every vape shop out of business.”

In 2009, the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act, which gave the FDA the right to regulate tobacco products, set the stage for the tobacco market in years to come. It required that all tobacco companies restrict tobacco advertising, stop the illegal sale of tobacco products to minors, prohibit the distribution of health claims that are not scientifically proven, the display of the ingredients, the health implications of those ingredients and larger health warning labels that warn against the dangers of nicotine.

This Obama-era reform most notably limited cigarettes to tobacco and menthol flavors, which would go on to affect the sale of e-cigarettes.

Once electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) gained prevalence, the FDA placed them under the umbrella of tobacco products. This made it so e-cigarette

companies had to meet the same requirements. This means that any flavors, other than tobacco and menthol, would be eliminated from the entirety of the market.

“Long story short, what the FDA has planned for us currently will wipe out the market and the only people left that would be able to afford to do it are the tobacco companies,” Richter said. “You would have companies like Altria and R.J. Reynolds with their products to be able to probably go through a [pharmaceutical evaluation].”

The vaping industry relies on these other flavors to survive. The most favored pod, according to a poll of 38,000 people conducted by Vaping 360, was mango—followed by mint and then crème. Virginia tobacco, one of the least popular flavors, was only favored by 6 percent of those who answered the poll. Other companies that feature flavored pods similar to those from JUUL in their products’ lineup are at risk of going out of business.

Implications of the Master Settlement Agreement Big tobacco, like Altria and R.J. Reynolds, were able to barter a deal with the American government with the Master Settlement Agreement, which was implemented in 1998. Cigarettes and cigars don’t face the same threats as the vaping industry because of how technologically practical they are as opposed to e-cigarettes, which remain threatened by proposed legislation.

“They did that because the tobacco companies made a deal with the government basically [gave] them a share of the market,” Richter said. “They knew that they wouldn’t be able to manufacture any new products, but they were fine with that because . . . cigarettes are a 150-year-old technology and they’re still making [them] the way they always have.”

Big tobacco like Altria and R.J. Reynolds knew that the practicality of cigarettes wouldn’t be affected by the proposed regulation. However, the threat of e-cigarettes has compromised the sale of cigarettes and ultimately hurt big tobacco.

“The Master Settlement Agreement and the beginning of the Family Tobacco Prevention Act was negotiated by the large tobacco companies to keep their products on the market without these kinds of questions,” Richter said. “Years ago, the gov’t decided that they didn’t want any more tobacco products on the market than there already were—that’s why there’s never been a new cigarette since 2009.”

Instead of paying damages to the American people directly, they opted to be taxed more annually. The money from this was intended for Medicaid efforts to prevent lung cancer and other preventable illnesses caused by smoking.

However, it seems to have ended up elsewhere.

According to a follow-up study by the Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids (as well as the following organizations: Truth Initiative, Cancer Action Network, American Heart Association, American Lung Association, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Americans for Nonsmokers Rights), states will receive $27.3 billion from the 1998 settlement but will only spend $655 million, which is just over 2 percent, on tobacco prevention. In other words, the other 97.6 percent is going towards whatever public works each respective state needs funding for.

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In 2018, Altria, the same big tobacco company that created Marlboro, bought 35 percent of JUUL—that’s $12.8 billion in shares. JUUL also owns VMR Products, another vapor company.

Already, Altria, a big tobacco company, has its hands in the e-cigarette industry, which now holds an uncertain future. Smaller vape brands, if Richter had her unable to meet the FDA’s demands, will be forced to sell their holdings to larger companies like JUUL or file for bankruptcy and liquidate their products.

“It’s going to put everybody in the industry out of work—every distributor [and] every vape shop out of business,” Richter said.

Although the date for vape companies to submit pre-market applications has been moved to 2022, Richter fears that she, as well as other vape shop owners, won’t be able to jump through enough hoops needed to save both their respective businesses and the thousands of jobs currently at stake within FDA’s proposed timeline.

Richter has refused to go down without a fight, and she’s willing to see it through until the end.

“We either fight or make them change this, or after 2022 that’s it and . . . go back to doing what we used to do,” Richter said. “Advocates . . . will come to them with what we consider good manufacturing processes and industry standards, [hopefully] they will accept that as the real way to regulate as opposed to regulating to kill, which is what the proposition is right now.”

The Pharmaceutical Cycle and the Consequences of Corporatocracy The pharmaceutical industry is a large one and its exertion over the American people has operated for decades through lobbying and high-stakes deals behind closed doors.

With states succumbed to the tasteful taxation bonus provided by big tobacco, which is merely pocket-change for these massive companies, they risk perpetuating and even worsening a cycle of smoking-related illnesses, like lung cancer, in the United States. Without e-cigarettes on the market, or a diminished presence of such, traditional cigarettes will continue to sell.

Richter calls the threats to the vaping industry a slippery slope for public health because cigarettes will regain their dominance, and pharmacies will sell their anti-nicotine products to a population with smoking-related illnesses that they themselves created.

Richter had her own experience with pharmacontrol when she was working on a commercial from the NYSVA regarding the truths about vaping for local radio in upstate New York. She had met with representatives from iHeart Radio about airing the commercial and warned them that their pharma-investors may feel threatened. After they had told her that they’d already cleared it with their lawyers, she and her team began preparing the commercial.

A week before the ad was scheduled to be aired, iHeartRadio returned the $10,000 the NYSVA had paid them for advertising. “[iHeart Radio’s] lawyers were contacted by the pharmaceutical company who said if [they] ran the ads, they’d pull all of [their] advertising across the United States,”

said Richter. “There’s a lot of suppression of freedom of speech that’s going on as well.”

In a nutshell, pharmaceutical companies that paid iHeart Radio to run their advertisements threatened to pull their collective payments if they aired the NYSVA’s commercial.

While this amount of money is still unknown, it caused one of the largest media companies in the United States to return the NYSVA their money and cut the commercial a week before it was supposed to be aired.

“We have a lot of really big enemies that we’re fighting,” Richter said. “I honestly thought the government was working in our best interest until I entered the vaping industry and I realized just how dirty everything is.”

The Future of American Youth Maione is looking to ultimately quit vaping before starting his sophomore year of college. He also vowed to improve his physical health by curbing the addiction. He has relapsed three times.

“My body is not working to its full potential because of the drawbacks from vaping,” Maione said. “A couple years ago I was in the best shape of my life and I haven’t been able work out as frequently as I’d like to, but even if I was afforded that, that vape would interfere.”

Although conducted on vaping by the CDC and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has provided a wealth of information about the short-term effects of vaping, there is a little knowledge concerning the long-term effects of the habit—especially on teen brain development.

The fact that significant long-term research hasn’t been published yet hasn’t appealed to Maione’s invincibility fable.

“Generally, I think that, as hypocritical as it sounds, it’s an issue that has to stop; it’s destroying this generation and it’s really becoming a health crisis,” Maione said. “We’re discovering new things about the outcomes of vaping and it’s horrifying.”

Maione said the lack of longitudinal research is to blame for the minimal impact of scare-tactics used by advocacy groups targeting underage smokers.

“Cigarettes are a turnoff for our generation,” Maione said. The [number] of studies we’ve done to learn about the impacts [of] those chemicals from cigarettes have far surpassed that knowledge of vaping.”

Truth Initiative launched “This is Quitting” in January 2019—a hotline for youth smokers who want to quit smoking. Of the 38,000 people who reached out to the Truth Initiative, 14,000 were teens and 15,000 were young adults.

The website is www.thisisquitting.com, and those looking to curb smoking can also text “QUIT” to (706) 222-QUIT. Maione frequently still uses his device on a daily basis. He stressed that if more research was available about the long-term effects of vaping, he would seriously consider quitting.

“What would it take me to quit? Just opening my eyes and waking up,” Maione said.

James Baratta is a sophomore journalism major who smuggles flavored pods into the United States and sells them on EBay. They can be reached at jbaratta@ithaca.edu.

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Super Bowl Swindle Corporate America’s reflection of consumer habits and attitudes // by Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor and interm Seesaw Editor; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

A

s Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi prepare to leave their modern home, DeGeneres asks Alexa, Amazon’s smart-speaker and virtual assistant, to lower the temperature of the thermostat. Before exiting, DeGeneres thoughtfully asks, “What do you think people did before Alexa?”. Following this question is a Victorian-era scene where a homeowner asks her maid, Alessa, to lower the temperature two degrees and in response, throws a burning log outside a window. In another scene, a queen demands that her jester, Alexine, tell her a joke as he nervously scrambles to conjure something up to the queen’s liking as gawking onlookers observe.

Amazon’s product ad promotes Alexa and challenges viewers to imagine a time when Alexa didn’t exist, insinuating that it must’ve been cumbersome to fulfill actions like sending a message or requesting a song in a different time period. The ad trivializes any scenario in which Alexa

doesn’t exist, concluding that Alexa makes our lives easier simply because it serves and answers to an owner’s whims as fast as it can. Out of the 62 ads that were displayed during the Super Bowl, Amazon’s ad was ranked the seventh-best

by USA Today and currently has about 62 million views on YouTube.

The Super Bowl ads usually follow this trend, whether a brand is trying to introduce something new or to reintroduce something back into the sphere of the consumer market. Bruce Vanderbergh, a professor in advertising and public relations at Michigan State University, considers the football game to be a strong display of “corporate America” as it showcases profuse ads and product placements throughout the whole game. As a professional that is familiar with the advertising industry and a longtime viewer of the Super Bowl, Vanderbergh believes that instead of the ads

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influencing a viewer’s consumer habits, it showcases a snapshot of the current societal and economic situation.

“A lot of people think that ads lead people to buy things or to think about things, but a lot of people within the [advertising] business actually think that advertisements actually reflect what is going on rather than it leads,” Vanderbergh said. “So I think in terms of reflection, the little kid with the dyed hair playing for the NFL who was running through the streets and into the field reflects diversity. There are also more women empowerment ads, in the past we’ve seen Dove soap do some of those.”

In terms of content and production, Vanderbergh believes that the quality was good this year, as it reflects the economy of the country. When an ad has celebrities like Chris Evans, John Krasinski and a complex concept, the advertisers already have a lot to pay for on top of paying over $5.6 million for a 30-second time slot. When advertisers develop ad ideas and concepts, they tend to stay away from political statements to avoid choosing one side over another.

“They don’t want to fight the current in the river, they want to flow with the river as much as they possibly can,” Vanderbergh said. “Some of the political ads were controversial and people don’t even like having them in the Super Bowl or they feel people shouldn’t be doing that at all.”

Another viewer of the Super Bowl, Thomas Pfisterer, a freelance multimedia designer, mentioned that the NFL’s “Next 100” ad really resonated with him.

“They were showcasing a young kid that presumably did not come from a wealthy background... what really impressed me was how they showcased this kid’s journey and then brought him out into the field,” Pfisterer said. “That really made an impression and it must’ve been challenging to pull off.”

According to a Marketing Week article published in 2016, minority groups only make up 19 percent of those represented within ads. Although minority visibility within advertisements has increased over time, the misrepresentations and stereotypes that are found within ads are widespread.

One example would be that African-Americans are regularly seen within sports ads, stereotyping them to that specific market rather than giving them a wider opportunity. This is an advertiser’s ploy to appeal to a larger audience instead of representing minorities accurately.

The Loretta Google ad highlights one use of the most popular search engine and how one can utilize it to make notes and retain information. Josh Lauer, an associate professor in the Office of Communication at the University of New Hampshire, said that “Google will mine those memories for targeted advertising, so it’s deceptive in the sense that the ads suggest that Google and other big companies like this are benign, but are involved in trying to collect information or present themselves as something that is good, uncontroversial and beneficial for Americans without any background criticism.”

“It’s the biggest advertising event of the year… especially now the country is so polarized politically, it’s risky for a company to stick its neck out advocating for any particular view or getting behind any controversial issue,” Lauer said. “Advertisers want views to feel comfortable and happy and not conflicted or anxious or upset and it’s obvious

that a commercial is designed to make people feel good… encouraging advertisers to present a unified and depoliticized version of America which really isn’t the case today but it’s difficult for advertisers to speak to everyone and not pick sides when it’s during a time when the country is very divided.”

The primary purpose of the ads showcased at the Super Bowl isn’t to convince you to run out and purchase a product. According to Vanderbergh, it’s so that when “you’re in the market or in the position to buy the product you remember that particular brand.” They often proliferate their products or brand image during the Super Bowl in particular because of a sponsor’s desire to “jump on the bandwagon because they want to be associated with good public relations and exposure through their association with the Super Bowl.”

This year’s Super Bowl LIV, which is now the eleventh most-watched TV show ever, has turned into a showcase for advertising and consumer capitalism. Ads themselves have become a spectacle of the Super Bowl, with some of the viewers just as interested in the ads as they are into America’s most popular sporting event of the year. If they have become so popular, both advertisers have to try their best not only to appeal to the larger masses but to accurately depict minorities within these mass media representations despite the political polarization of the country.

Julia Batista is a sophomore IMC major who changes the channel when commercials come on. They can be reached at jbatista@ithaca.edu.

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RAW TV and film SAW FROM THE

Uncut Gems

by Tom Lawson, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

It’s not often you begin a movie up someone’s ass. Yes, you read that right. Uncut Gems opens with a sweeping 7,000-mile journey from the Webo mine in Ethiopia to Adam Sandler’s colon, this transit is achieved via the mystical microscopic interior of a rare opal. It’s an impressive, unexpected sequence that connects Sandler’s crazed jeweler with the object of his infatuation; this iridescent rock is the obsession of Howard “Howie Bling” Ratner, a diamond district rascal and basketball betting man who aims to make a killing with the prized mineraloid at an auction—or risk being killed. See, Howard is $100,000 in debt to the intimidating Arno and his violent ruffians. To pay them off, he ventures on an anxiety-inducing odyssey through the concrete jungle, rubbing elbows with Kevin Garnett and The Weeknd during his exhausting spiral into danger.

If this all seems like a pretty complicated mess, you’d be half right.

Directors Josh and Benny Safdie excel in the genre of chaos—their previous city-set thrill ride Good Time also had a lot of moving parts in its neon-lit world. The aforementioned opening is a great metaphor for the Safdies’ skill at bringing dissonant elements together in a kind of haywire harmony.

Uncut Gems isn’t so much a mess but a maelstrom, a swirling cyclone of lashing rain and lightning bolts with Howard at the eye of the storm. He bounces erratically from auctions to his highrise home, from blacklight concerts to Passover celebrations, worming his way through the NYC of 2012. Technically,

this makes Uncut Gems a period piece.

Although set only a few years ago, the imagery and atmosphere harbor the grittier, grainier texture of a vintage Big Apple; it’s not hard to imagine Howard Ratner running into Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver (Martin Scorsese, fittingly, is credited as an executive producer).

But for all the retro stylings of Uncut Gems, it was made with the most cutting edge of techniques.

Cinematographer Darius Khondji remarked that the Safdies “made me shoot in ways I have never done before,” with 360-degree lighting and long-lens follow-focusing as part of the technical highwire act. The movie was shot on both digital and film, with the two formats matched for color and grain in post. The seamless blend of the two is a testament to the attention to detail. Daniel Lopatin’s score, too, is an ecstatic blend of nostalgia and contemporary twists that’s hard to define in simple terms; “baroque electronica” comes close, but hardly digs into the emotional highs and anxiety-inducing ability of the soundtrack.

I’d be remiss not to mention Sandler’s brilliance in the role of Howard. He’s brilliant as the annoying gambler, embodying the kind of guy you’d hate to know in real life but love to watch on screen. If there was anyone who still doubted his acting chops after Punch-Drunk Love and The Meyerowitz Stories, his turn as

Ratner ought to show them his dramatic versatility; he seems to move with an overconfident gait one moment, gold chains and leather jacket swinging with his steps, and like a rat fleeing poison the next. So is all of this entertaining?

That’s a question only you can answer.

But know that Uncut Gems is not a film engineered for you to like. In an age of audience testing, demanding fans, and studio interference, it’s worth taking the risky plunge into the rapids.

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depression and anxiety, Sex Education did a nice job portraying how it takes a toll on the person and the people surronding them. Overall, this season of Sex Education is very well done and I look forward to a third season.

by Tom Lawson, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

by Imani Turner-Wells, Contributing Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Artist In season one, we see our main character Otis, struggle to wank himself and experience his first orgasm until the last episode. This season however, we see he has no problem

in the world. These topics are shown through the characters of Jackson, Aimee and Maeve’s mother. While I applaud Sex Education for making the effort to bring these serious topics to light, I didn’t enjoy the way some of these issues were approached. When dealing with an instance of sexual harassment, Sex Education handled it in a joking way; this continues throughout season two and is often secretly joked about or brushed off. The Sex Education crew could have been more sensitive when approaching this issue, since it’s serious and it still happens to many people. They did do something right when talking about sexual harassment by bringing the main female cast together, but overall it was not handled as if it was a serious topic.

With the rest of the serious topics, like drug abuse,

Watchmen - Season 1

Sex Education - Season 2

Wow. Talk about one wild SEXY new season of Sex Education.

First off, if you haven’t watched Sex Education at all, what are you waiting for?

see two minutes of him doing it? I felt it was a little obsessive, but it ties up this lingering story arc from last season, and shows us how Otis has changed.

Speaking of Otis, the sex clinic with Maeve was not prevalent in the same way this season. In each episode of season one, Otis and Maeve dealt mainly with drama involving sex and their classmates. Season two changes its focus to a wider range of issues. I’m happy that season two focuses more on serious topics such as depression, anxiety, sexual harassment and drug abuse. This gives the show the ability to educate viewers about important topics while staying quirky and true to the main themes of season one. Season two does a great job of balancing out the crazy sex experiences and the serious topics surrounding modern teenagers and young adults.

Relationships were flying high this season and you can feel that love is in the air. Though Otis and Maeve’s relationship is not as strong as it was, and the second season explores the two as they struggle to define their relationship. At the end of the day, it convinces the audience to support the odd pair despite the obstacles in their path. Sex Education takes major strides to be wholly inclusive.

Even though Sex Education centers around sex, fun and relationship drama, season two also touches on some serious topics that are happening

with masturbating now because the season opens with a montage of him doing it everywhere. While I’m happy that Otis can finally express himself in that way, I wonder if we really need to

You’d be forgiven for glancing at a poster or advert for HBO’s Watchmen and mentally giving the show a hard pass. TV and film are at peak superhero saturation and for many, it seems like comic book adaptations have been done to death, consigned to a casket six feet under.

But Damon Lindelof’s reinvention of Alan Moore’s classic graphic novel is something entirely new—a breath of fresh air into a tired genre that was all but exhaling its last. Trust me when I say it isn’t a show to be missed.

This isn’t a caped crusader story where the heroes face off against the supervillain in a metropolisdestroying, third act contest over who

can punch the hardest. Much like our world, the villains hide in plain sight as suburbanites, police captains and government officials. They wear masks of a different kind: that of the upstanding American citizen, making it near impossible for our lead vigilante detectives to uncover who might have a Klan robe stashed in their closet. When a city does get levelled, it’s by a giant alien squid, courtesy of a flashback sequence that recontextualizes a critical event from Moore’s novel through the lens of trauma—the anniversary is known as 11/2, a clear parallel to 9/11 that makes sense for a shocking occurrence that similarly changed the course of American history.

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It’s these clever analogues that help us stay connected to the narrative despite its weird and wonderful setting; rather than distract from our engagement, they enrich the viewing experience. In a timeline where Vietnam became the 51st state, mini cephalopods fall from the sky and an omnipotent cerulean being lives on Mars, it’s helpful to be reminded that the absurdism of Watchmen’s universe isn’t really that far from ours. Cops wear masks, allowing them to escape justice or enforce their own. White supremacists (under the banner of the Seventh Kavalry) idolise an unhinged fascist. Showrunner Damon Lindelof isn’t just telling us about Redford’s

America, but Trump’s too, expanding upon the alternate-history setting of the graphic novel in ways that force us to question the political and social landscape of today.

Race is a core theme of Watchmen, something the show makes clear by opening on the Greenwood Massacre of 1921, an act of racial violence by a white mob that attacked and destroyed the Black Wall Street community in Oklahoma. The effects of the incident and of racial injustice ripple throughout the lives of Watchmen’s characters as the storyline cascades across generations. Angela Abar, a black woman employed by the Tulsa P.D. as the badass “nun with a motherfucking gun” Sister Night, finds herself ensnared at the center of a treacherous conspiracy that’s unfolded over decades. Episodes in present day weave beautifully with several set in the 20th century, and although it’s not immediately apparent how the jigsaw pieces fit together, solving the puzzle is

a huge part of the fun.

Each installment of the nine-part saga brings new surprises and unexpected scenes, and it’s a joy to watch a show that isn’t afraid to push the boundaries of miniseries storytelling. Jeremy Irons plays the now-aged Machiavellian billionaire Adrian Veidt—aka Ozymandias—and steals every scene he’s in, whether he’s catapulting himself into the stratosphere or creating clones. The style of the show leans heavily towards the visual—one episode in particular is presented in stunning black and white and features elegant long-take camera movements that rival some of the most complex shots in cinema. There’s real craft on display from every department that makes Watchmen a cut above the rest.

Weathering With You

by Connor Jones, Staff Writer; art by Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor and interim Seesaw Editor

Weathering with You is a Japanese animated film written and directed by Makoto Shinkai. Released in 2019, the film has made over $186 million worldwide in the box office.

Shinkai is well-known in the anime movie community for several of his other standout works such as Your Name, The Garden of Lost Words, and 5 Centimeters Per Second. All of these films share the theme of romance.

However, even if romance isn’t your thing, Shinkai’s films will most definitely keep your attention in an assortment of other ways.

Weathering with You follows the story of Hodaka Morishima, a young highschool student who leaves his isolated hometown to head to the big city of Tokyo. It is here that

he meets, Hina Amano, a mysterious young girl who we eventually learn has the unique ability to control the weather. As expected, love is in the air, and our two main characters eventually come to develop feelings for each other as the plot begins to thicken.

Shinkai always does an excellent job of showcasing emotion in such a powerful way. Characters’ feelings never come off as cheesy or annoying. Instead, they are incredibly genuine and you find yourself legitimately concerned for them as different challenges arise.

Fans of 2016’s Your Name are also in for a pleasant surprise as a certain pair of characters make their appearance on screen yet again.

Throughout the course of the movie I rarely lost interest in what was happening on screen. The animation

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and visuals are once again top notch.

Expect to be blown away by the beauty of the colors and sophistication of art within the film. The soundtrack is also spot on, with returning music from the Japanese band Radwimps, who also did music for Makoto Shinkai’s previous hit film, Your Name.

Overall, it’s hard to find something wrong with Makoto Shinkai’s Weathering With You. The world that is built and developed stays consistent and holds the viewer’s interest. The visuals are amazing, the music is terrific and the story warms the heart while still leaving room for potential tears. If you are a fan of animated films, or want a good place to start, Weathering With You is the movie for you.

Little Women

by Chloe Gibson, Staff Writer

If you read Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women in adolescence, you might recall some particularly frustrating plot lines that left you internally screaming are you fucking kidding me for years to come. But have no fear. Greta Gerwig’s 2019 rendition reimagines the romantic endings that have divided audiences for 151 years, untangling a somewhat messy conclusion and refocusing the story on what’s really important: sisterhood.

Gerwig’s Little Women adaptation is by no means for die hard fans of the book or previous movie adaptations alone. The story is centralized around the four March sisters—Meg (Emma Watson), Jo (Saoirse Ronan), Beth (Eliza Scanlen), and Amy (Florence Pugh)—as they grow from children to adults in the midst of the Civil War. We remember our own pasts in a kaleidoscopic burst of good and bad memories, and the film’s complex timeline is reflective of just that. The story begins by introducing us to Jo in perhaps one of her most fragile moments. She stands quietly outside the door of a New York publisher, gathering herself before confronting her dreams of becoming a writer. The tension breaks the moment she enters the publishing press, and her true colors are slowly realized in her witty banter with a particularly harsh editor.

The story moves seamlessly back and forth between the struggles each girl faces in the newness of adulthood and their happy childhood memories. Just a few scenes later, we find ourselves transported seven years earlier to a chaotic and fun Christmas morning in the March house. Gerwig

trusts her audience to invest enough attention to pick up on jumps in time, but further highlights these shifts with lighting that reflects the orange glow of childhood or the blue coolness of adulthood.

Upon Little Women’s original publication, Alcott broke down barriers for women in literature and in life.

Though revolutionary for its time, Alcott’s original telling is reluctant to fully embrace outright feminism. Each March sister takes on life with fierce independence, but those qualities are given up when they fall for the right guy. Gerwig recognizes Alcott’s underlying hesitation to confront the struggles women face with unapologetic honesty. Subtle shifts to dialogue and plot bring out a more decisively feminist tone, transporting the story into the 21st century.

Perhaps the most beautiful liberty taken in Gerwig’s rendition is her interpretation of Amy March. In the book, Amy comes off as childish and bratty, burning Jo’s manuscript in a jealous rage and getting what she wants, even into adulthood. Though these qualities are present throughout the film, behind every frivolous desire is a strong woman with a clear sense of self. In one scene, Amy explains with great maturity that for a female, marriage is a business transaction at best. Amy’s goal to marry rich comes off as shallow in the book, but in the movie, that perception is reframed as Amy articulates her frustration in knowing that every penny she earns will belong to either her father or her husband.

Younger siblings might further

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sympathize with Amy’s struggle to break out from the shadow of her sister, Jo, both in her artistic endeavours and her relationship with Laurie (Timothee Chalamet), the boy next door who grows up playing alongside the March sisters and is madly in love with Jo. Though in the book the relationship between Laurie and Amy catches many by surprise, it feels far more natural in the film. Greta deviates from previous adaptations that romanticize Laurie without fully considering his flaws, and dedicate too much energy to his relationship with Jo and not enough to that with Amy. Jo’s relationship with Fredrich Bhaer, the professor she meets and falls in love with while pursuing her writing dreams in New York, is also more realistic in Gerwig’s rendition. Fredrich is younger and frankly more handsome, being portrayed by Louis Garrel.

Moreover, he has a quiet strength rather than a boring personality, and his critique of Jo’s writing comes across as honest and supportive, rather than blatantly mean. His patience ultimately fits well with Jo’s headstrong personality and redefines a relationship previous audiences struggled to accept.

Ultimately, this is a story of sisterhood. The relationships we share with our siblings are sometimes the hardest. But no one else in life will fully understand our hopes and dreams, our flaws and strengths, our highs and lows, where we came from, what keeps us moving even in the worst of times.

And while men are temporary, a sister is forever.

We Need to Talk About

Oscar

Are the Oscars a relic of the past? // by Tom Lawson, Staff Writer

W

e need to talk about Oscar. He’s starting to become a problem. Maybe we looked up to him for too long and inflated his ego? He’s getting pretty old now, and I know he’s trying to change, but he’s always been pretty set in his ways.

A stickler for tradition, if you will. His decisions can seem puzzling and sometimes outrageous. He ignores people. He’s probably xenophobic. He’ll do anything to make himself look good. Honestly, he’s probably self-conscious. Afraid he’s falling into irrelevancy. Maybe that’s inevitable. We could let him fade away, but I feel like that would be unfair. He’s been around for so long that he deserves our best advice. So let’s ask ourselves a question: what do we do with Oscar?

Of course, Oscar is not one person, but a group of people. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (we’ll just call them the Academy), is the ruling body behind the famed yearly awards ceremony. Although the list of members is under lock and key, we know they rank over 7,000 strong, and consist of a vast collective of current and former Hollywood moguls, red-carpet stars, and famous directors. One might think with such a huge membership, this institution would be primed to reflect the very best of the contemporary film landscape, in which all cinematic voices are given recognition. Alas, that’s not the case. Academy members, according to The New Yorker, are overwhelmingly white and male. Women account for only 32% of members, while people of color make up a mere 16%.

Naturally, this leads to some pretty questionable nominations. We don’t know much about the mystical congregation who votes on the choices for each category, but a recent Hollywood Reporter article revealed a saddening but unsurprising attitude among the toffs of Mulholland Drive and Sunset Boulevard. A male member of the Academy, granted anonymity, unveiled his “brutally honest” Oscar ballot—he “really hated” Little Women, and called the Best Animated Feature choices “so fucking boring.” A female member, also anonymous, said she wanted “an American director to win” because “the Oscars are an American thing.” Apparently she missed Alfonso Cuarón’s Best Director triumph just last year. Shrouded by the invisibility cloak of an online publication, these showbiz denizens come off as opinionated, arrogant, and, most crucially, shameless.

Little Women is far from the kind of film anyone should “really hate,” and the outrage at Greta Gerwig’s Best Director snub is entirely justified. The film is exquisitely made, with visionary flourishes that prove Gerwig’s confidence in the position of writer/director. With the rest of the field entirely male, it follows that allegations of institutional sexism were levelled at the Academy. The work of female directors last year was brilliant and stunning; Claire Denis’ High Life, Lulu Wang’s The Farewell, Joanna Hogg’s The Souvenir, Alma Ha’rel’s Honey Boy, and Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire were all strong and deserving pictures, but none of them were given the slightest amount of recognition. This isn’t to say that the male nominees weren’t deserving of their nominations—even The Hangover helmer Todd Phillips created a remarkable film with Joker—but there’s an undeniable need to expand the field.

The ignorance carries over to other categories, too. Cynthia Erivo was the only person of color nominated in an acting category this year, for her performance in Harriet. This means that not only was Awkwafina not chosen for her moving turn in The Farewell, but also the cast members of Parasite were completely ignored. Similarly sidelined were: Eddie Murphy’s comeback performance in Dolemite Is My Name and the doppelgänger duo of Lupita Nyong’o and Winston Duke in Us, Jordan Peele’s intense follow-up to his stellar Get Out (which won Best Original Screenplay a few years ago). Clearly there’s a racial bias going on, and it’s sad that the Academy’s attempt to diversify their ranks in recent years hasn’t gone far enough.

Out of the nine films nominated for Best Picture, five were white male-oriented, and before Parasite’s surprise win, Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood and 1917 were favorites to take the prestigious honor. Does this suggest an Academy nostalgia for an imaginary past filled with male valor?

Other biases include the long-standing grudge against horror and comedy. Us hardly garnered the same level of attention as Get Out despite being on par with Peele’s debut. Additionally, It’s arguable that the amazing Florence Pugh

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should have been nominated for her gut-wrenching achievement as Dani in Midsommar, and The Lighthouse surely should have picked up several noms for its atmospheric Sound Mixing, Score, and Production Design. Adam Sandler was deemed persona non grata this year in spite of his tour-de-force embodiment of the unstable jeweler Howard Ratner in Uncut Gems; it seems the Academy couldn’t bring themselves to pinch their noses and vote for the actor because of his prior outings in lowbrow comedies. Context, to them, often matters more than the work itself.

After the ceremony aired, it became clear that many of the nominations were more of an olive branch, a condescending pat-on-the-back rather than a genuine appreciation for craft. This was most obvious in Netflix’s offerings, The Irishman and Marriage Story. The streaming giant garnered ten nominations for the visual effects-heavy Scorsese picture and six for Noah Baumbach’s stirring tale of divorce, but won only two awards in total: Laura Dern justifiably nabbed Best Supporting Actress, and American Factory took Best Feature Documentary. It’s a stark reminder that the Oscars exist to perpetuate an outdated model of studio dominance. They’ll let Netflix get their foot in the door, but won’t invite them inside to join the party. As Richard Brody wrote in The New Yorker, the Oscars “represent the American film industry’s idealized image of itself.”

Key to this hubristic survival instinct is the fact that the Academy grants voting privileges to people no longer working in the industry. Membership represents how the industry once was, not how it is today, and the vast majority of the nominees reflect the interests of its members, not its audience. It’s difficult to tell if the public still cares about the Oscars, but metrics tell us that the 2020 viewership sunk to 23.6 million, a full 20% dropoff from last year. In a time when theater going has diminished to its lowest levels ever, these statistics should be seen as a harbinger of certain doom. While not by any means more popular than the Oscars, the Independent Spirit Awards are a far more entertaining and relatable option. As host Aubrey Plaza remarked, “We’re so much cooler than other awards shows: It’s daytime, we’re on the beach, and we recognize female directors.”

There are two ways to interpret the winners of this year’s Oscars. On one hand, it feels cynical to suggest that Parasite won Best Picture as part of an apology for Green Book snatching the idol last year—after all, Bong Joon-ho’s film is far and away the best movie of the year. But he’s been creating ecstatic work for decades, and perhaps should have taken the award way back in 2003 for Memories of Murder. That South Korean cinema is finally being recognized for its rich and absorbing output is something to be applauded, but it’s coming far too late. Park Chan-wook’s dextrous 2016 masterwork The Handmaiden was a perfect Best Picture pick if I’ve ever seen one, and Na Hong-jin and Kim Jee-woon have been erroneously kept out of the global spotlight.

Parasite’s wins must be celebrated loud and clear, as should those of Taika Waititi, who took home Best Adapted Screenplay for the hilarious and touching Jojo Rabbit, Hildur Guðnadóttir, who received Best Original Score for the haunting Joker soundtrack, and Matthew A. Cherry and Karen Rupert Toliver for their excellent, Best Animated Short-winning Hair Love.

If the Academy is to learn anything from this year’s Oscars, it’s that filmmaking doesn’t belong to Hollywood anymore, and hasn’t for a very long time. As a collective founded to advance and celebrate the art form, they need to take stock of the fact that incredible work won’t necessarily land at their doorstep—wider eyes and a keen awareness of global talent are skills the predominantly old, white, male Academy members just don’t have enough of.

So, what do we do with Oscar? We talked about him, like we said we would. In all fairness, we should give him another chance. Despite all his flaws, people do look up to him. Maybe if he changes, he’ll regain the popularity he used to have. He should open his doors to more people and listen to what they have to say. We may not like him all the time, but he’s loud enough that we all still pay attention when he’s around. Yes, he could do with thinking less of himself and not wasting so much of our time, but I think we’d miss him if he disappeared. He’s making an effort, and although it’s slow progress, he deserves the benefit of the doubt. We’ll check back next year to see how he’s doing, and whether it’s time to re-examine our friendship with Oscar.

Tom Lawson is a second year Cinema & Photo major who wishes more people would watch the Independent Spirit Awards.

You can reach them at tlawson@ithaca.edu.

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You Don’t Have

Tik Tok?

A lot of people will be scared here – a lot of people // by Brennan Carney, Staff Writer

T

ikTok is everywhere. If you know the references, you hear them all over campus, in dining halls, classes, and dorm rooms.

Unlike Vine, the references aren’t just quick sayings. They are snippets of songs, viral dance videos, challenges and more.

So what is this app that has seeped into our lives in such a short period of time?

TikTok is now declared the “seventh most downloaded mobile app of the decade” from 2010-2019. Launched in just 2017, it reached that status within the small span of two years, despite competing with around two million apps in the market. TikTok is defined as a “video-sharing social networking service” and is owned by Beijing-based company ByteDance.

Chinese censorship rules prevent TikTok from being on the market there, so the app is run through a separate server. Despite this, ByteDance launched “Douyin,” which is basically the Chinese censorship-approved equivalent. ByteDance is currently owned by creator Zhang Yiming; his startup company is now worth $75 billion in US dollars, and he is the ninth richest person in China. In 2019, ByteDance reached 1 billion users. Now knowing all this, why are people still ashamed to say they download TikTok? A potential reason is an association many people have with TikTok and Musical.ly. Though the name officially changed in 2018, Musical.ly was of a pretty different nature. Aimed at a younger audience, the app was made for 15 second to 1 minute videos of lip-syncing songs. Popular Musical.ly users include Jacob Sartorius, Baby Ariel and Mackenzie & Maddie Ziegler from Dance Moms, all of whom are younger teenagers.

Unlike Musical.ly, one of the main types of content posted to TikTok is comedy-centered videos. Some try to compare it to that of Vine or Instagram comedy, but the creators on TikTok seem to be their own brand of funny. The platform is so open-ended, unlike the others mentioned, that the comedy videos really are of all types.

The concept of using TikTok to gain fame through the platform is becoming more and more common. For example, 17-year-old Loren Gray has 38.6 million followers on TikTok, making her the most followed person on the app. Her fame has allowed her to make appearances at Teen and People’s Choice awards, have her own Snapchat show and launch a music career.

CNN recently published an article detailing some new information about the viral “Renegade” TikTok dance. The dance, set to the song “Lottery” by K Camp, often had its fame attributed to TikTok star Charli D’Amelio. That particular dance set to the song was one that propelled the 15-year-old to fame. But now, it has been revealed that the actual creator of the dance is 14-year-old Jalaiah Harmon. Though it definitely begs the question of how we can fact check something like who created a dance? Harmon did eventually get recognition. She has appeared on Ellen, performed at a NBA game and got a shoutout from Michelle Obama.

D’Amelio, on the other hand, is now a part of the “Hype House” of several TikTok famous teens who live in Los Angeles. Only four out of nineteen members actually live in the house, but many other TikTok creators drop by to make videos together in the mansion.

“E-Boys” are another phenomenon that has been popularized by TikTok. Similar to goths, the fashion trend often involves black nails, skateboarding, beanies and chain necklaces. It has become both a trend and a meme on the app and the internet. Some of the most popular creators on the app market themselves as “e-Boys,” which could definitely explain the popularity of that type of video on TikTok. Fame from the app is not just for those who create dances or dress like e-Boys. “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X peaked at number one on Billboard for a record-breaking consecutive 19 weeks. Many attribute the explosion in popularity of the single to its TikTok famous “Yeehaw Challenge” in which the song is used as the sound. TikTok brought such fast success to Lil Nas X that radio stations had to take the audio of the song from Youtube and he was quickly signed to Columbia Records.

Relatability is also a huge theme on the app, with videos about family, school, friends, relationships and everything in between being posted every day. Not only is “relatable” a common hashtag used, but it has also inspired TikTok compilation videos on Youtube under the same theme. Ithaca College student Anna O’Neil likes making and watching TikToks, but said:

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“TikToks making fun of unhealthy habits like drinking, drugs, etc, are popular because they make you feel less guilty about your own habits.” Regardless of opinions on this, the relatability aspects of many of the videos are what has helped the app gain so much attention.

There are, of course, haters. People especially dislike those select few who have gained fame on TikTok or flat-out state that the content is just not funny. Others think TikTok is the best social media comedy out there, especially after the discontinuation of Vine. Just like any other media platform, content quality will always be debated.

Another issue with the app is around who should be the target audience due to the fact that the user age range is so significant. TikTok has created a restricted mode for younger users called Family Safety Mode. Techcrunch.com stated that it features “screen-time management controls, limits on direct messages and a restricted mode that limits the appearance of inappropriate content.” It is an interesting feature and definitely begs the question of how a company is supposed to approach the issue of censorship with an app that is used by such a variety of ages.

Creativity on the app, in general, is highly debated; some say the content is extremely original while others argue that a lot of the videos are just copies with the same sound. The renegade song and dance combo is a great example. Yes, making a video with the same idea is not original, but there is an audience that enjoys the act of learning and recreating it.

The success of the app is often attributed partially to the algorithm that it uses for the “For You Page” aspect. Vice did an entire article detailing how the page works and how it establishes what content each user would most enjoy. Though there are many theories, including various Reddit threads, the most common theory is that the app shows new videos in batches. After that, it determines their success rate by a ratio of “likes-to-views.” We have no way of proving what exactly the algorithm is, but has clearly been successful.

It seems that perhaps the initial resistance to the app is starting to fade as celebrities join in and companies work with it. Will Smith, Cardi B, the Jonas Brothers and Tony Hawk are just a few who have created celebrity TikTok accounts. Pop icon and “Truth Hurts” singer Lizzo is known for posting on hers, including a version of the “Renegade” TikTok. In September 2019, the NFL announced a “multi-year partnership” with the app and created an official account to bring NFL content to the platform.

It will be interesting to see how the app does in the next few months as it gets more publicity with celebrities and companies. It must be more than just a coincidence that “Old Town Road” and “Truth Hurts,” both of which became famous from TikTok, were the songs that launched their artists into fame and left them each with Grammy nominations. Despite the criticisms, it does not seem like the now staple social media entertainment app is going anywhere.

Brennan Carney is a second year Journalism major who’s ready to name them. You can reach them at bcarney2@ithaca.edu

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RAW music SAW

“Yummy” - Justin Bieber

FROM THE

by Imani Turner-Wells, Contributing Writer; art by Guinevere Fullerton, Contributing Artist

“everything i wanted” - Billie Eilish

by Brianna Diaz, Staff Writer Billie has been getting everything she has ever wanted.

18-year-old and Five-time Grammy award-winning artist, Billie Eilish is considered to be one of the youngest artists to hit the charts, especially with her number one hit single Bad Guy beating out Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus which was on the top charts for 19 weeks.

Before hitting the charts, Eilish released her most recent song “everything i wanted.” As stated in an interview with Genius.com, Eilish stated that the song is about her close relationship with her brother.

“My brother is my best friend and I have these dreams and these things happen and no matter what happens he’s gonna always be there for me and it’s the same the other way around…” (Genius.com, Beats1 Annie Mac Interview). Eilish also explains in a different interview with Genius. com that the song contains many different meanings. “Pretty much that whole song is about me and Finneas’ relationship as siblings. We started writing it because I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends and people that I worked with basically came out in public and said, like, ‘Oh, we never liked her.’ In the dream, the fans didn’t care. The internet shit on me for killing myself, all this stuff, and it really did mess me up.”

As displayed in the lyrics, more specifically Verses 1, the Pre-

Chorus, and the Chorus, Eilish explains that she committed suicide and nobody cared but her brother, who she claims in both her songs and through her social media, mainly Instagram, to be her best friend. This song means a lot to Eilish.

Eilish, along with her brother Finneas produce all of Eilish’s music together. In a recent Carpool Karaoke with James Corden, Corden and his team went to Eilish’s house and saw the “studio”, which was Finneas’ room. All of Eilish’s songs were recorded, produced and written there. While Eilish was giving Corden the tour of the house, he asked her: “Do you feel like being at home and still living at home has grounded you in the last 12 months?” For Eilish’s response, she replied: “Probably more than I realize. Also just being around my parents all of the time and even on tour my parents are there… We are all on tour together.”

“Before we made any songs together, Finneas said, as a joke: ‘I’m going to make you the biggest pop star in the world.” Corden then asks: “How long ago was this?” Eilish responds: “The beginning of 2015.” Corden responds with “That’s crazy.”

Eilish’s mother came in and Corden asked: “What does it feel like now in this house sitting there, hearing these songs being recorded and made and then now you sit in these arenas?”

Eilish’s mother, Maggie Baird, responds with: “It blew my mind when she sang at the hi-hat. It blew my mind when I sat here and heard Finneas and Billie

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play a song. It’s never not been mindblowing. It’s almost like there’s been four years of ‘oh my god what is it?’

It’s not like I can never feel it in the moment because the whole experience is so crazy. For a while they would write these songs and I would say ‘When is it going to come out because everyone in the world has to hear it!’ And now everyone hears it. I can’t describe it because it is too amazing.”

In the majority of her songs, Eilish tends to have a specific off-thewall nature to her name but, after listening to the song, I feel as though, this is her best work so far from 2019. “everything i wanted” touches base on so many sensitive topics of Eilish’s life that the song feels ten times more authentic.

Eilish has always sung with a very low tone that almost sounds whispy but, with that being said, I believe this is her best work. Eilish is able to be more open and sensitive with her audience and fans more than ever and she has done that through her music, especially with this song.

With snippets of the song being played on social media, fans were speculating what kind of song she was going to release as well as when it was going to be released. When it was released in November of 2019, “everything i wanted” debuted at #74 on the Hot 100. During the week ending November 30, the song peaked at #8. The song is Eilish’s second to chart in the top 10 of the Hot 100.”

Justin Bieber did it again with his new single, “Yummy” at the beginning of January. What more can you ask for? This song has all the right ingredients to make this song a hit. It has a catchy beat, steamy song and a catchy chorus. A catchy chorus that you’ll be singing along to even if you don’t like the song. This is similar to when Bieber came out with his first song, “Baby.” Although not as innocent as “Baby,” “Yummy” still has a pretty similar formula for creating a new hit.

First of all, let’s talk about its beat.

The beat on Yummy is going to make you bump your head and get up and dance. It’s a combination of a good simple beat with a twist; it’s just a good time.

Next is the catchy chorus:

allows for the song to be easy for everyone to follow and sing along.

Justin Bieber really took a steamy twist on this song, making it very different from his earlier music.

“Yummy” also comes with a quite innocent music video that premiered a day after the song. If you didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics at all, you would think the song was cute and innocent. We know “Yummy” has a different connotation when Justin is talking about it.

Bieber made this song for his new wife Hailey Bieber. How sweet is that? Justin skillfully utilizes his clever lyricism to describe his newlywed. Justin’s first verse of the song, says “Bonafide

stallion, It ain’t no stable, no, you stay on the run, Ain’t on the side, you’re number one, Yeah, every time I come around, you get it done (You get it done). Justin is using this verse to talk about his wife, how she is stable for him and how she is his number one and only one.

Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, That yummy-yum, that yummy- yummy, Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, That yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy, Say the word, on my way, Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe, Any night, any day, Say the word, on my way, Yeah babe, yeah babe, yeah babe, In the mornin’ or the late,

Say the word, on my way.

This simple chorus mixed with a good beat equals a catchy tune.

Although it has words that repeat in the chorus, the words are not too complicated or hard for people to sing along to. This is a catchy chorus that will get stuck in your head no matter what you do. This chorus is similar to his first song, “Baby,” the majority of the chorus is the same word which

Marigold - Pinegrove

by Brennan Carney, Staff Writer

Marigold comes after a rather tumultuous period for the band Pinegrove; in November 2017, lead singer Evan Stephens Hall was accused of sexual coercion by a former tour member and released a statement accepting the

accusation and apologizing. The band then shelved their then unreleased album Skylight and took a hiatus.

There are no rules about what a band should do after allegations like that come out, or how fans should re-

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act. Hall shared that he was working on his relationship with the accuser and on himself. Per the request of the accuser, Skylight was released. Two sold out tours in 2018 and 2019 followed, proving the band had not lost momentum

despite the uneasiness. And then came Marigold in 2020.

To summarize Marigold, it might be best to start at the end rather than the beginning. The title track is a mellow instrumental that comes at the very end and clocks in at around six minutes. Singer Evan Stephens Hall said that they made the final song because they wanted to “make a little bit of a punctuation of our own -- so we could give space for the listener to reflect, if they chose to take it.” The entire album is an emotional journey that really does require some thoughtful time after listening.

It’s hard to not search for answers in the album related to the 2017 allegations. Evan Stephens Hall and the band have made it clear to press that Marigold is not to be taken as a statement on that. While stoic, Marigold is all about practicing empathy and restraint.

Songs like “Moment,” “No Drugs” and “Endless” focus on practicing patience, especially in times of chaos. The song “No Drugs” plainly details the struggles of how substance abuse can affect relationships. Hall stated it is a song that sends the message to “be better to me, to be better to you… it is more important to remember to be present, and to be patient.” Along the same lines, the song “Moment” features lyrics that are about being grateful for every part of life, even when it’s hard to see the good. “Endless” recounts the feeling of days sometimes being mundane and meaningless, but implores you to remember that “It’s an honor to feel this way/To feel the color of the longest day.”

Pinegrove appears to be on a search for the whole way of living life, providing insight through several anecdotes. On “Neighbor,” Hall references a neighbor at the band’s home studio who would hunt animals. At the end of the song, he sings “Well, I love my neighbor/But don’t understand his behavior/I love that bird but I don’t ever want to take her.” Knowing the background on this song, it can be interpreted as a request to enjoy things in the moment rather than be focused on finding a way to capture it forever.

“The Alarmist” comes off as perhaps the most defining track of Marigold. Throughout the song, lyrics plead to someone: “Now do what you feel like you gotta do but/ Be good to me.” The song then ends with a repetitive “Can I believe in the me before I knew you beautifully?” While a little self-deprecating, the ending leaves the impression that in order to love and be compassionate to others, you need to feel that way about yourself first.

Though it may be the shortest, the message of “Spiral” is one of the clearest of the album. Hall shared the song’s short phrases like “Drink water/good posture/good lighting/good evening” are meant to be like pages ripping off of a calendar. Each day comes and goes with its own struggles, but focusing on the simpler things can remind you to stay present.

It is part of human nature to take part in the never-ending search for our purpose on this planet. We look to stars, signs, and gods for what we are doing here, often to no avail. Pinegrove has come back with a possible answer for us: we may not ever find that purpose, but we can decide to live with purpose instead. Lead singer Evan Stephens Hall told fans in an Instagram post that Marigold is “for anyone who is chronically dehydrated; for anyone with a slouching problem; for anyone who has the honor of being in love right now. It is dedicated to anyone who is striving to live a more intentional life & to anyone whose favorite primary color, against all odds, is yellow.”

vulnerability, Fine Line affirms in every way a comfort with emotional expression and a blurred understanding of gender norms, conveying a brand of self love that effectively questions toxic masculinity. Even so, some of the album’s songs don’t venture out into the creative and emotional depth I want so badly for Styles. Watermelon Sugar feels too safe, nothing more than a catchy pop tune to guarantee at least one radio hit. He takes his own heartbreak too literally, and tracks like Falling are just not that lyrically interesting; lines like “I’m well aware I write too many songs about you,” are

paper thin.

Styles has often cited musical trailblazers like David Bowie and Stevie Nicks as inspirations, hoping to one day match their unique genius. The lyricism of certain tracks suggest a potential to one day achieve this goal. She, for example, is a story within a song. The chorus line “she lives in daydreams with me” is rumored to reflect Styles’ inner struggle with his feminine side. This anthem to femininity paralleled against a gritty guitar riff that builds into an epic solo is the type of interesting contrast that puts Styles on a path towards legendary.

Fine Line - Harry Styles

by Chloe Gibson, Staff Writer; art by Guinevere Fullerton, Staff Artist

When the world was first introduced to Styles, he was a teen pop sensation from a British boy band singing nonsensically about what makes you beautiful. His debut in One Direction placed him on the fast track to sensationalized fame. My own middle school experience was defined in part by his early career; each member of our friend group picked a member of the band to claim as “theirs,” and I called dibs on Harry Styles early on.

And yet, with the world’s eyes firmly planted on his every move, Styles has always kept his cards relatively close to his chest. In 2017, he released his debut self titled album, giving us our first glimpse into the eye of his mind. He established himself through a flare for the type of rock and roll

originally coined by Mick Jagger. The lyricism of his first album is vulnerable and sensitive, but at the end of the day, a bit repetitive (this one’s about a girl, and so is this one, and that one).

Flash forward to 2019.

Musically, Fine Line tops his previous projects in every way. There’s a greater complexity and variation from song to song, jumping between genres in a way that creates a unique range without becoming too jarring. Tracks like Adore You have a pop vibe about them, whereas Sunflower, Vol. 6 mirrors the whimsicality of alternative indie bands like Vampire Weekend, and Treat People With Kindness sprinkles in twinges of gospel rock.

In its entirety, the album seems to rise and fall like a well balanced story. Golden kicks us off in what feels

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like summertime. We are optimistic, golden in the light of the one we love.

This feeling of blind optimism carries us all the way through Lights Up, an anthem of confidence in ourselves and our place in the world. But suddenly the seasons change and a relationship we were once so confident in slips away with Cherry. To Be So Lonely feels like a winter chill; “I’m just an arrogant son of a bitch that can’t admit when he’s sorry.”

The songs to follow steadily increase in optimism, and by the time Treat People With Kindness comes around we have a newfound faith in humanity. Finally, spring seems to burst with Fine Line; its cautious build reaches its peak with the firm reassurance that “we’ll be alright.”

If Harry Styles gave us

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Similarly, the song Fine Line interprets his love life in a far more lyrically interesting way. The mere concept of a relationship teetering on a fine line adds a complexity other tracks lack. The duality of lines like “You sunshine, you temptress” makes listeners consider the different sides to their own relationships. This emotional ballad accompanied by soaring trumpets is almost dreamlike, offering a sort of comfort that makes you want to cry. If Styles continues to push in this direction, writing music that thinks outside the box, he might just step into the light come album three.

Streaming

and the

Rebirth

of

Cable

Can the NFL

Inspire Change?

Is Disney+ really worth it? //

by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer; art by Julia Young, Contributing Artist

I

very vividly remember the day when everybody started talking about Stranger Things. Its high-fidelity homage to eighties sci-fi and horror made it something, ironically, entirely new, and it was all anybody was talking about. Netflix had hits before, but previous successes such as Orange is the New Black and House of Cards failed to achieve that level of universal appreciation. The tone of the conversation around Netflix changed that day, with them moving in the public perception from content providers to content creators. Everyone was eager to see what they’d do next.

Ever since, I think, people have been paying much closer attention to streaming-exclusive television, and by extension streaming itself. Maybe that’s why it’s become such a talking point in years since that streaming is killing the more traditional cable industry. It is certainly true that as of 2017 in the United States, Netflix has more subscribers than the largest cable providers. Bruce Woolley wrote that “Video Killed the Radio Star”, and many are beginning to wonder whether streaming will do to sit-down television what video did to radio. If such a thing is in the future, a closer look at the facts may reveal why.

There are 365 days in a year, or 8,760 hours of content to fill. CableTV.com, in their guide to basic cable packages, lists Optimum Broadcast Basic first on their list of the best cable packages, so let’s assume it represents a fair standard. Its channel count is listed as 45+; assuming an even 50, that means it offers 438,000 hours of content per year. Of course, about a fourth of that will be commercials - at least, that was the average in 2014, but I don’t expect that it’s gone down - so the actual content offered will be closer to 328,500 hours. This value is achieved for $24.99 per month, or $299.88 per year.

Comparing to their would-be killers, Netflix does not disclose the exact statistics of what they carry, but a 2015 estimate states that the company carries only 34,739 hours of content, barely over a tenth of what you’d get from a television station, and their catalogue has only shrunk since then. Their $8.99 per-month minimum cost doesn’t quite account for such a disparity. Streaming services seem to be worming their way into the position of broadcast television with far less to offer.

What’s different, then, must be in what they’re offering and how it’s being offered.

To speak to the first, I don’t think I need to spend much time discussing how streaming offers a more convenient platform for watching. The vast majority of a cable station’s content is going to be unavailable to you, due to conflicting schedules if nothing else. Yes, modern televisions have been letting you record stuff for decades now, but you can’t record everything, you can’t notice everything, and there’s no guarantee that something that passes you by will ever be on again.

More importantly, such recording services serve as just another thing you’re going to have to figure out and fiddle with, and who has time for that these days? Everyone’s too busy to bother with it.

And as for content, for a number of reasons streaming services have been a vacuum for truly quality content. There was a time when Stranger Things was an exception, but these days it’s hard to find a show with that kind of universal appeal which isn’t found on at least one streaming service, even if it does have some presence on traditional channels. One reason for this is that streaming, where it is possible to watch something sequentially in its entirety, rather than waiting for weeks for an entire season to come out, is a far more convenient way of experiencing serialized media. Another is that a streaming service can be considerably less risky than an appearance on a conventional television station, because the value of a show on a streaming service does not decrease. A show, once it’s finished on a network, will do little to bring in further eyes without taking up valuable space that could be used for other shows. The same is not true of streaming shows, where, as syndication is not a concern, one does not have to take precedence over another. It’s the only reason stuff like continuations to twentyyear-old cartoons and puppet-starring passion projects can exist at all.

It’s not hard at all to see why people are moving to streaming. The content transitioned first, and it moved to a place that’s easier to access, especially for those who can’t afford expensive TVs. It would be a mistake, I think, to call this a victory or a defeat on anyone’s part. The question on everybody’s lips is whether or not streaming will not only defeat cable, but replace it. Netflix only acquired a library as large as it did because nobody expected streaming to take off so explosively. A single streaming service for all your needs was never in the cards in the long-term; something like cable was always going to reemerge. All that this is is a change. A change that better matches the busy lifestyle of the modern day, and provides a better platform for certain kinds of content. So while you should celebrate the creators that have found new success in this change, you should not assume that the industry as a whole has now become your friend. The structure behind the content, the same one that was behind the cable industry, has not changed at all.

Peter Tkaczyk is a third-year Writing major who hasn’t seen High School Musical: the Musical: the Series. You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu.

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Hypocrisy will only get you so far… // by Alyssa Spady, Contributing Witer

O

ne hundred years ago, men from four teams met in an auto showroom in Canton, Ohio. Their vision was to create a professional football league to prevent sports betting and the stealing of players. Little did they know that their meeting would blossom into a hundred-year institution and American staple. Valued at $2.8 billion, the National Football League (NFL) has become about American as apple pie. But over the 100 years that it has been a cultural icon, it has remained stagnant in its social justice and player protection efforts.

According to a report done by The Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport (TIDES), the NFL’s hiring practice has remained mostly white and leaves little room for other people of color. It is no big secret that the NFL has and still struggles with diversifying their front office and coaching staff across the league. This past season, the NFL only had two owners of color; Kim Pegula of the Buffalo Bills and Shahid Khan of the Jacksonville Jaguars, both of whom have majority ownership and are significantly involved in the operation of the NFL team). Shad Khan, Pakistani-born and principal owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, and Kim Pergula, Asian-American woman and owner of much of the Buffalo Bills, are the only two in this category. This divide has trickled down into the coaching staff as well. This past season, there were only four head coaches of color; Ron Rivera, Brian Flores, Anthony Lynn and Mike Tomlin. For African-Americans, whose players make up 58.9% of the league, the chances of having an African-American coach dropped dramatically, from 21.9% in 2018, to 9.4% in 2019. So the question remains, how has the NFL allowed for such a drop in the number of African-American coaches in the league? The NFL has a rule in place to help combat the lack of diversity amongst its coaching staff and front offices. The “Rooney Rule,” as it has been called, is a rule implemented by the NFL and its owners that requires teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching and senior football operations jobs, such as General Manager or Head of Football Operations. The affirmative action policy that was created in 2003 following the firings of head coaches Tony Dungy and Dennis Green. Both of them, at the time, had led teams to winning seasons year in and year out. Shortly after the firings, a study was released showing that even though black NFL coaches were winning a higher percentage of games, they were still less likely to be hired and more likely to be fired than their white colleagues. Since the Rooney Rule has come into effect, there have been several NFL teams that have hired black coaches, but 17 years later, the league has the same amount of black head coaches: three.

Having a diverse player population playing for a non-diverse coaching and front office body has created multiple rifts amongst the parties. Not having someone who can relate to your struggles can be hard in any circumstance, but even harder when these are supposed to be people that you must trust with your career. It has also been a major factor in the recent problems that the NFL has faced regarding a particular ad aired during this year’s playoffs. During the AFC championship game, the NFL aired an ad that is part of their Inspire Change campaign. The NFL has put more than $25 million into grants that award social justice organizations led by players, coaches and staff members across the league. This year’s ad focused on Anquan Boldin, a former NFL wide receiver and his non-profit. The ad opens up with Boldin narrating the killing of his cousin Corey Jones. Jones was murdered in October 2015. He had been driving back from a gig when his car broke down on the side of the road. An unmarked van approached his car and officer Nouman Raja, who was in civilian clothing, stepped out of the car. Fearing that he was about to be robbed, Jones pulled out his legally possessed gun. Raja then responded by firing six shots at Jones, hitting him three times and killing him. Raja was found guilty for manslaughter while armed with a firearm and attempted first-degree murder. The ad continues by showing images and videos from Jones’ funeral as well as the outcry of public support following his murder. The emotional ad tugged at the hearts of viewers but raised a larger issue that the NFL has yet to discuss: Colin Kaepernick and the NFL’s lack of support to its players who protest the national anthem.

Troubles creating a strong player-coach relationship with the new head coaches, health issues, and performance were some of the struggles that Kaepernick faced in his career. The 49ers went from being an annual playoff and SuperBowl contenders to missing the playoffs for the first time since 2010. After losing his starting job in week 9 of the 2015 season and a host of health issues, he was eventually shut down for the remainder of the season. Mounting a comeback on the field for the 2016 season, Kaepernick made a choice that led to the demise of his career. During the 2016 preseason, he was seen sitting during the playing of the national anthem. Following that game in an interview, Kaepernick explained that he could not stand for an anthem that supports a country that still oppresses people of color. The backlash from his protest was tremendous and led to a decrease in viewership of the NFL during that time. Kaepernick along with a few other NFL players continued their protests despite threats from both the front offices of their teams and fans. Kaepernick learned that the 49ers were

35

planning to release him after a rocky 2016 season, but before he could be released Kaepernick, decided to test free agency.

However, since his choosing to test free agency, he has not been able to secure a spot on any of the 32 NFL teams. Many, including Kapernick, suspect that the reason for his unemployment was due to his protests and owners colluding to keep him off the field. In response to this, Kaepernick filed a formal grievance against the league the following year. He cited that owners had banded together to keep him off the field as a way to bring viewership back on the rise. His grievance against the NFL was settled in February of last year, but the quarterback still finds himself without a spot on any of the 32 NFL rosters.

Anquan Boldin and Colin Kaepernick show how the NFL is more concerned with money than cultivating a culture of solidarity and empathy. Anquan Boldin is rewarded for his speaking out against police brutality because he did it in a way that minimizes harm for the NFL and possibly raises the amount of money going into the league. Colin Kapernick is sent off into the unknown because what he did cost the NFL viewers, and viewership boils down to money. Since the backlash from Colin Kaepernick’s exile from the NFL, the league has worked to try and right its wrongs. Last year, they announced that Jay Z and his entertainment company, Roc Nation, would be teaming up with them. Going from the words of “APESHIT:” “I said no to the Super Bowl: you need me, I don’t need you/Every night we in the endzone, tell the NFL we in stadiums too,” to now working with the NFL is like being a Cowboys fan and then suddenly one day deciding you like the Giants. The partnership has been seen as a last-ditch effort made by the NFL to try and save their brand, hoping to bring a new demographic back to the stadium and television screen. But their efforts have been deemed hypocritical by many. Bringing in a black hip-hop icon has not taken away the fact that the NFL has systematically ended the career of a man who decided to go against the grain.

They can kick Colin Kaepernick and his “unpatriotic” protest out because he is bad for business, but that doesn’t explain the countless players that have had murder charges or sexual assault charges brought upon them and how they somehow still find themselves with a job. The same goes for the Rooney Rule; just having a rule in place and a few faces of color in the front office and on the coaching staff doesn’t fix the larger issue. It shows that the NFL still is not seeing how disturbing the problem is. The NFL can pump millions of dollars into campaigns that help to create change, but until the NFL finds a way to increase the number of faces of color at the front office and head coaching level, and help protect their players when they choose to speak out, they are simply fixing a leaky faucet in a burning building.

Alyssa Spady is a second-year Journalism major who tuned in to the SuperBowl for J-Lo & Shakira.

You can reach them at aspady@ithaca.edu.

36

z s e x x My First Time

buz

by Anonymous art by Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor and interim Seesaw Editor

Passionate kissing, smooth love-making and beautiful scenery surrounding me with a guy I love. That’s how I pictured my first time, but instead, it was in a skater dude’s car in an empty Target parking lot. Don’t get me wrong. Logan was a great guy, but I didn’t imagine losing my virginity in a car.

It all started junior year. I was out to the world for years now, so everyone pretty much knew I was gay. I got comments, I got remarks, but most importantly, I got curious guys sliding into my DMs. This wasn’t something revolutionary, it was something I was used to. But when Logan, a guy I found extremely hot, slid into my DMs, I knew I couldn’t pass this opportunity up.

We went out on a date to the mall and we stayed there pretty late. We went into stores and I obviously had to try on clothes. I picked some outfits in H&M and went into the changing room. The thing about H&M is that nobody watches the changing rooms, so you can go in and out as you please. As I changed, Logan would peek in and watch me until I noticed, and he would burst out laughing. I would shake my ass a little for him, enough to make him blush, and then I would close the curtain and tell him to stay out. I bought some of the outfits and we then went to watch Captain America: Civil War. The movie theater was PACKED. I had never seen it that full before. We were lucky to score seats next to each other because Logan flirted with the girl at the ticket booth. He bought some snacks for us and I thought, Oh, he got money like that! We walked inside and sat in our seats. I was trying to pay attention to the movie but the entire time, Logan kept on rubbing my thigh and trailing his hand down my back until he got closer to my ass. I kept on whispering “stop,” but he would laugh and keep on going. Since he wanted to toy with me, I just flat out placed my hand on his dick and began rubbing it slowly. He immediately got a boner so I took my hand away. He looked at me as if I had betrayed him, causing me to laugh at him.

After the movie ended, we headed back to his car, and surprisingly enough, Target’s parking lot was completely empty. It was around 2 a.m. so it was to be expected. We got into the car and began talking.

“So… did you have fun today?” Logan asked.

“Yep I did, although you were VERY distracting during the movie,” I replied, causing him to laugh.

“Come on, you know you liked it.”

“And what makes you so sure that I did?”

“Well, you did touch my dick, so that says something.”

“What if I was just toying around with you?”

“Well, my dick liked it a lot. He actually misses it.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah really,” Logan said, as he began to slide off his joggers and boxers, revealing his dick. “Why don’t you finish what you started?” he said, reclining his seat a little further down.

I immediately got nervous,. I had never done this before. I had seen shit in the porn I watched so maybe I could just try to imitate that. I started giving him a handjob. I did it slowly at first because I didn’t wanna treat his dick like a Bop-It. It felt so weird in my hand. I was used to my own dick, but holding someone else’s dick? That was an experience. It felt really nice in my hand, actually. I slowly got used to it, so I started to go faster.

“How about you use that pretty mouth of yours?” he said, placing his hand on my head to lead me down to his dick.

His tip was touching my lips, so I started licking it. I kept my hand wrapped over his dick, jerking him off as I licked his tip. I felt my heart pounding against my chest. I thought it was going to fall through my ass. I was so nervous; I didn’t want to mess it up or make him not feel good.

“Dude, I can feel that you’re mad nervous. Don’t be nervous. You’re doing great,” he said, slowly rubbing my back to calm me down.

I decided I wasn’t going to be a little bitch anymore, so I started sucking his dick. It felt like a big sausage in my mouth, and I loved it. I started using the tricks I learned from the porn I watched and he started moaning, so I guessed I was doing great! It was reassuring to hear his moans because it was just us and his weird music playing in the background. As I sucked his dick, he immediately pulled me up.

“My turn to make you feel good. Get on your knees in the backseat,” he told me hungrily. I was shaking in my boots.

I did as I was told, feeling kinda uncomfortable with my ass facing his windshield. What if someone saw us? Before I could say anything, he unbuttoned my jeans, slid everything down, and immediately began eating my ass. When I tell you I was in heaven, I was in HEAVEN. It felt so good and weird at the same time, but I was loving every second of it.

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He ate my ass for about five minutes and then started fingering me. It hurt a lot, so he was talking me through it as he put in more and more fingers in. He helped me deal with the pain and helped my body relax. Once he felt that I was ready, he slid his dick in and I gripped so hard on the seats that I thought they were going to rip.

“Calm down, relax your body, take deep breaths,” Logan instructed me, staying still as I tried to regain control of my body.

I felt like his dick was tearing my ass APART. I took deep breaths and tried to relax my body the best I could.

“You good?” he asked.

“Yeah, keep going,” I said.

He started thrusting slowly, allowing my ass to get used to his dick until he could go faster. I started moaning softly and he grunted.

“Damn, your ass is so tight,” he said, slowly increasing his speed. “I could be in here for hours.”

As he finished that sentence, he began slamming into me, making me moan even louder. He then started hitting my g-spot and I lost control. My legs and arms were trembling, I couldn’t control my volume, and I couldn’t keep myself up anymore. He noticed and flipped me onto my back with him still in me, and kept on slamming into me. With this position, he hit that spot even more, causing me to lose control of my voice.

“Say my name,” he said as he grunted and sweated.

“Logan!! Logan!!!” I said, digging my nails into his back.

He got closer and began kissing me, shoving his tongue down my throat as he slammed his dick deeper and deeper.

I moaned into his mouth, I couldn’t even kiss back. He pulled away and began sucking on my neck. He was probably leaving hickies on me, which I didn’t want because I’d have to hide them from my parents, but at that point, I didn’t even care.

He kept going until I felt like I was going to cum. I could barely speak to tell him that I was going to, but he knew already.

“Cum for me baby,” he said, slamming into me as fast as he could.

I screamed as I came, my body shaking uncontrollably. Logan kept slamming into me until he pumped into me with three long thrusts, and I soon felt his cum shooting into me. It was really warm, but it also felt really weird. He collapsed onto me as we breathed heavily.

“That… was amazing,” he said, laughing as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Y-yeah.” I stuttered. I still had my arms wrapped around him, and I didn’t feel like letting go.

We laid there for a few minutes, letting his music play as we tried to get our breathing under control. He then got up and I let him go. He grabbed a towel from one of the pockets in the seat and began cleaning himself and I up. I was still laying there like I was lifeless.

Logan looked over at the clock and it was almost 4 a.m.

“Looks like we both can last a while,” he said while chuckling.

“Yeah, definitely,” I said, bursting out in laughter. “We fucked for almost two2 hours, that’s insane.”

“It’s pretty late... do you want to stay at my house?” he asked. I was caught off guard, but it was better to stay over than go back home.

“Sure.”

“Great!” he smiled.

We got dressed and headed back to his house. His parents were asleep, so we had to be extra quiet. We got into his shower and ended up having round two before going back into his room. I just couldn’t say no. We laid down and slowly started drifting to sleep. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer, which made me happy. This was definitely not how I pictured my first time, but it was much better than I could ever imagine.

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39

A Girl and Her Iguana: Part 1

by Dariene Seifert

For Kristen Bell

Brutal. That was the perfect way to describe this summer. Brutal. The air conditioning in the apartment complex I lived in decided to cough out its last breaths at the peak of July. So me and my fellow neighbors surrounded ourselves with tiny, cheap fans in attempts to beat the heat. One gruesome afternoon, I was trying to distract myself from the vile humidity by listening to Lana Del Rey’s cool voice, which meshed with the fans’ buzzing noise.

Suddenly, I heard a door being thrown open and the sound of someone’s frustration in the hallway. Helping this person was a lot better than slowly melting, so I opened my door to see what the commotion was about. There was a woman, dressed in a t-shirt with stars on the shoulders, blue shorts, and white sneakers. She had blonde hair that just touched her shoulders, and big, black sunglasses shielded her eyes. She seemed unfazed by the awful weather. She held, what I assumed to be, a fruit smoothie, which dripped out of its cup, and down her wrist. In her other hand, she gripped a leash and was slightly tugging it. Her pet was hiding behind her door.

“C’mon! It’s time for your daily walk, Artichoke.”

I tried to greet her with a smile, but the heat made everything painful. “Your dog giving you trouble?”

She turned to me, confused. Then, her pet walked out into the hallway. I felt my eyes bulge out of my head. “Oh, it’s not a dog, it’s, um…”

“An iguana,” she finished. The lizard laid down and curled at her feet, like this has happened a million times before, people being caught off guard by its presence, and was waiting for the shock to be over. We stared at each other for a few moments. The music that I was playing filled the silence. Then, her head perked up. “Oh, you like Lana Del Rey?” “Yes, I’m a big fan.”

Without hesitation, she asked: “Wanna take a walk with me? You can get to know Artichoke, and me, Ella…My name is Ella by the way.”

Despite just meeting Ella, I said without hesitation: “Yes, that sounds lovely.”

She smiled. “I would like that very much, uh…”

“Grace.”

I prepared for the devastating heatwave by grabbing my water bottle, and the three of us went outside. As I felt sweat drip down my back, Ella strolled with Artichoke like she was heading down the catwalk. She sipped her smoothie and ignored any stares from fellow pedestrians.

“Are you new to the complex?” I asked. “I never saw you before.”

“Kind of. Been there for like a month,” Ella answered.

“Really? I never heard you move in or anything. I’m sorry for not meeting you sooner.”

“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t have much stuff to move in, and I don’t usually hang out with anyone. Well, except for Artichoke.” She stopped and rested her arm on my shoulder. “People are hard to be around… Not you, of course. You’re pretty cool.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

After some chit-chat, a pleasant silence accompanied us. We walked close to each other, our arms almost brushing against each other. Artichoke scurried along joyfully. Ella was still somehow unaffected by the blaring sun; her entire outfit and demeanor screamed “cool.” Maybe it was just me trying to ignore the heat, but I couldn’t help but wonder: Who was she? Where did she come from? Why did she pick me to accompany her on this walk? Out of all the pets to love and take care of, why an iguana? Her presence was weirdly fascinating and conflicting. Ella, this mystery in human form, maybe didn’t want to be completely solved.

She suddenly stopped and turned to me. Glancing at my empty water bottle, she asked: “Hey, do you want to get something to drink? Not to be mean, but you look like a fish out of water.”

“I would be glad to. And no, you have every right to say that. I do feel like a fish out of water. I’m surprised I’m not flopping around like one this very moment,” I answered.

She giggled, and my heart melted.

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S

q

u

i

r

m

by Julia Dath

It was one of those sticky summer afternoons when Tommy and I first challenged each other to eat lemon slices.

We’d been trying to kick rainbows—a skill he’d learned at U9 soccer tryouts—in the backyard when his mom called us inside for a snack.

Tommy and I sat at the pale wood corner table in his kitchen where big windows flooded the space with life. I had to use all of my might to push Tommy off the bench so I could get the seat in the corner.

It turned out the ‘snack’ was already sitting in the middle of the table. In front of our wide eyes sat a ceramic plate covered in juicy slices of lemon.

“I bet you’ll squirm if you bite that lemon,” Tommy said to me. I stuck my tongue out at him. He always found something to tease me about—my legs still dangled in the air at the dining table, I couldn’t do a cartwheel yet, and he could run from the big oak tree in the back corner of his backyard to the swingset by the porch in five seconds when it took me at least seven.

My mom said I was good at things, too. I was the first one in our class to read a whole chapter book on my own and the teacher has started writing me some multiplication problems on my homework sheets to try. Tommy didn’t like things like school much, so my mom says I shouldn’t tease him about this like he teases me.

I picked up the slice on top of the bowl and squeezed it between my thumb and pointer finger so the juice ran down the edges.

“Bite it,” he jabbed, pushing on my shoulder. “You’ll squirm. Girls always squirm.”

This earned him the hardest kick in the shin that I could muster—which, honestly, probably hurt my toes more than his leg. I was deciding if I should just take the gamble of potential squirming with a bite when Tommy’s mom reappeared from somewhere, sliding a small ceramic bowl full of granulated sugar onto the table next to the plate of lemon slices.

“Sorry darlins, I almost forgot the best part,” she said, winking at me. Tommy’s mom had this voice I really liked. She lived in Texas as a kid and had this drawl that’s sweet and smooth like warm honey. Every time the sky would turn grey she’d say it was “fixin’ to storm.” I smiled a little despite the nervous ache growing in my stomach.

The sugar looked like white sand in a bowl, and the way sunshine peered through the window made it sparkle.

Tommy rolled his own slice into the sugar, coating the inside of his wedge in grainy sweetness. I watched his mouth closely as he ripped the citrus from the rind with his teeth and swallowed. No signs of squirming.

His teeth were white and straight and shiny but also I could see that little pieces of fruit had gotten up by his gums.

He tossed the lifeless peel back onto the table, reaching for another and handing it to me.

I shifted my legs up so we faced each other entirely. His eyes were trained on my face as I raised the lemon to my lips.

I could focus on nothing else, not the fact that the sun was making me want to squint or that the bandaid on his scabbed left knee had half come off and stuck to my leg in our closeness. Nothing mattered besides telling myself not to squirm.

Don’t squirm or scrunch or squeeze anything. Don’t you dare.

I bit down, and…

It was sweet at first, juicy and cool and different than anything else I’d ever had. But then something much stronger—tart and difficult—came through. It invaded my taste buds and I knew the instant the flavor registered that my face betrayed me.

Tommy spit out a laugh. “Girls always squirm,” he giggled and reached for another lemon. I felt heat rush to my cheeks as he downed another lemon, this time a chunk of fruit sticking to his chin.

41

Boys

I was once forced to take a babysitting class in middle school and it was one of the weirdest experiences of my life. The teacher was an older woman with a pristine pageboy cut whose eyes were always open just a little too wide. She talked of how babies were angels sent from heaven: God’s gift. I also remember stabbing the guy next to me with my pencil because I found out he clipped his fingernails with a scissor and didn’t bite them like a normal fucking person.

But I digress.

I agree with her on that. Children aren’t corrupted; haven’t yet learned that you can manipulate; haven’t yet learned that everything is in some way fucked.

They’re reality. They’re the only thing that keeps the world going.

I think if babies were born looking like a fucked up Danny Devito or something, there wouldn’t be a point to go on living. If there’s no point to having kids, there’s no point to living.

So when my friend Anders said he was bored after breakfast one morning, naturally I suggested we go to Chuck E Cheese.

“Where the hell are you?” Anders called. I heard him coming near, although I couldn’t see.

I was knee deep at the bottom of the ball pit. A half hour passed. I had transcended time and gravity. I reached a meditative state, and the screaming children were no more.

The problem: I couldn’t formulate how to come back out without seeming like a creep— who had been sitting under all these kids for the past thirty minutes—and, although I felt completely justified in what I was doing, the mothers wouldn’t see it like that.

But, the only way to go from here was up. I would at least do it in style.

“PAT!” Anders yelled again. My arm shot out and grabbed his ankle. I rose to face him. He was completely unphased, the way he always was.

“Creep” was what he said.

by Seth Alkhuja When I looked around, I was relieved that none of the parents stared.

I picked up one of the balls around me and started tossing it up and down. It was pretty okay. It was fun. It was a ball.

Things were going pretty good as it went up and down—until I became aware of something to my left coming towards me, crawling. Bad vibes were just written all over it.

“That’s my ball.” I turned to face to see this small gremlin of a child. Despite being five, he somehow managed to have this “May I speak to the manager?” type haircut, and he wore plaid suspenders. His entire existence made no sense.

“Huh?” “I want that ball,” he said again, while making heavy, unbreaking eye contact.

I could feel Anders shift uncomfortably next to me.

“What about that one?” I pointed to a section that probably contained a hundred or so other balls.

“But that one’s mine,” he whined.

I started losing my patience because he wasn’t leaving. “Dude, there’s literally a million just like it.”

He started making that face. The one that scrunched up and started to turn red.

“Hey, don’t cry—look.” I picked up one in front of him and handed it over. He grasped firmly and then threw it down.

“It’s MINE!” he screamed. Clawing at my shirt, he tried to climb my entire arm to reach his crappy little ball.

“HEY!” I yelled and tried to subdue him by further yelling: “Where the hell are your parents?!”

He struggled even though I was fighting back. He was just a ball of frustration, making obnoxious screeching noises that sounded like a sporadically deflating balloon while acting like if he didn’t get his ball or fell from the tower that was me, it’d be the end of the fucking world.

That was it for me. I brought my arms back and shoved him easily onto the platform above us.

There was a moment of silence. The air around us tensed, and I thought time temporarily stopped. His face started twisting.

“No,” I said. His breath quickened. It was the only fucking sound in the Chuck E Cheese.

The scream, I was sure, was louder than his lungs could humanly handle.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

I just couldn’t imagine what my face must have looked like.

“Let’s go,” Anders said, finally deciding to speak up. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the other side of the pit while the screaming child continued and stares were drawn.

Anders took me to the back entrance and slammed the door in too many staring faces. I pushed a kid in Chuck E Cheese. We waited for the cops to come arrest me.

Night Out

42

S h a t t e r e d

by Gabrielle Topping

“Do you think you can climb out the driver’s side door without cutting your palms on glass?” the police officer asked, ”Or do we need to have some fun and call the fire department to come cut you out?”

This was definitely not the kind of fun I was expecting. I was aware of the fact that being in a car is one of the most dangerous places to be. But since car transportation is so normalized, I never really thought about how the actions of someone I didn’t know could directly affect me.

This particular day had called for a lot of time spent in the car. My mom and I were visiting some family that morning about three hours from our house, and we had just come from dropping my sister off at a friend’s house which was an hour from there. We were on our way to meet some friends for dinner in another town about two hours away. The plan was to stop for dinner there and then drive the final hour home.

But we never made it to dinner.

My mom was driving, and I was sitting in the passenger seat when another car came speeding toward us and crashed into the side of our car. I was screaming as the force of his car pushed our car hundreds of feet across the intersection. It was the worst kind of bumper cars I had ever experienced. I was crying and my whole body was shaking. It felt like the car was never going to stop moving.

The passenger side airbag went off. The window completely shattered, causing it to rain glass on me and my mom.

The car door crumbled. The windshield cracked. The car began to bend in half. The car was totaled.

But we were alive.

The police officer attempted to find humor in the situation and acted as if it was totally normal for one car to smash into another to the point where both cars were now undriveable. He must see a dozen car wrecks a week and was mostly unfazed. I, however, was very much concerned that my door was struggling to separate me from the other car.

“I know I’m not attractive, but you don’t have to cry,” the police officer said. “My partner is pretty funky looking too but climb over to him.”

My head hurt. My elbow and ribs were bruised. My upper body ached. We rode in the ambulance to the hospital.

My grandmother came and kept us company for the seven long hours we were there. Lots of waiting, paperwork, scans, and tests later, we were finally discharged. Since we hadn’t eaten dinner yet, we ate McDonalds in a parking lot at 3:30 am.

It’s been a month since the crash and although I obviously wish it never happened, I’m just so happy that we’re all alive. I’m interpreting it as a sign that I wasn’t living up to my full potential. I wouldn’t have been satisfied with my life ending when there is still so much that I want to accomplish. The crash was easily the scariest moment of my life. If I can survive that, why should I be scared of anything else?

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The

W e a p o n

by K.G Frempah

Trigger Warning: Use of the N-word

One does not have to be Nostradamus to predict that every person of color will encounter a slur in their lifetime.

Lord knows I have. I was in the fourth grade, and the teacher let us out of the building in the afternoon to enjoy recess the same way an owner lets their cooped-up dog outside so the pet can remember what sunshine feels like. There was a classmate I had named Ray. He was the new kid. He seemed to have had contempt for the entire world. I can’t remember for the life of me exactly what I did or said to piss him off when we got outside, but he held vicious scorn in his gaze toward me once we reached the playground. He, in a moment of rage and anger, fired out of his mouth: NIGGER. Now, I don’t think he knew how bad the word was, he just knew it was an insult. I suffered from the same mindset. I knew he insulted me, but I didn’t know how lethal the severity of the word was. We both knew he had a weapon, but we both didn’t know the full extent of his artillery. As soon as he blasted the word, my soul instantly felt the bullet. My soul fell, bled out, and slowly suffocated. Right after he fired the gun, Abby, a classmate of ours, swiftly shielded him from me. She looked at me and spat out, “He’s just being stupid.”

I look back on this event and reflect upon this and other racist incidents that have occurred since Ray. During this painful reminiscence, I realize something: racism, at its core, makes the recipient feel less than. Feel unworthy. Feel like a nigger. Ray may have called me a nigger, but Abby made me feel like one. She saw how he assaulted me with the deadly word, yet she walked over me whilst I attempted to recover from my wound in her pursuit to shield Ray (from... I don’t even know what she suspected I’d do). Shield him as if his safety was more important than mine. Shield him as if retribution was not warranted. Shield him as if learning was not a necessary tool. Her defense screamed louder than Ray’s declaration. She said without words that I, as a black man, was not guaranteed protection. Protection is guaranteed only for those who unwittingly use the word for its purpose to humiliate and insult black people because “they were being stupid” and didn’t know any better. The lack of protection does more damage than the slur itself. If it was eighteen-year-old me instead of Abby, I would have picked Ray up by his little dirty ears and flung his little angry behind into the direction of the principal’s office. And I would’ve also gone to the little injured black boy, wrapped my arms around him. Barricaded him from the entire world and said, “You are not a nigger.” Hoping he’ll know the feeling of protection.

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Yellow Nail Polish

by Lorelei Horrell

The ceiling above my head won’t stop dripping, and ghosts hate visiting when it rains.

I’m painting my nails on a careful stack of books in the middle of my comforter, a receipt from grandma’s favorite restaurant, Jen’s All You Can Eat Buffet, draped across the top. The receipt is a last-ditch effort to keep any spills from the cover. If just one of my crisscrossed knees nudges the stack, it’s over for Jen’s, the book tower, and me, respectively. But right now, I’m kind of hoping my knee will hit it.

Jen’s. I see the glowing red sign in my mind, taking a moment to remember the details of the last time I was there.

It was November 12th, 2017 (the receipt says so), and I must have gone with Grandma, because I always did. I’ll bet we sat side by side in the corner booth with the cracked cushion, foam exploding out of the seat, because Grandma was paranoid she was being watched for as long as I’ve been alive.

“It’s about the vantage points, Ruby—calculating your place in the room,” she must have told me. “I can see everything in the entire restaurant from here.”

And she probably could’ve—she had the angle right—if it weren’t for the fact that the lighting was already dim and there were usually a couple of bulbs out, too. That, combined with the fact that the mythical Jen had never gotten the memo that smoking equals bad, and I know Grandma couldn’t even see the waiters milling around until one of them was handing us the check. The air was always thick and cloudy, the haze a bitter, dirty fog that burned my eyes and nose in a way I kind of liked. It’s the closest sensation I’ve experienced to what it’s like to see a ghost. I probably commented to Grandma about it. She wouldn’t reply, not wanting to feed into what my parents called my “delusions,” but her eyes would sparkle in a way that made me know she believed me.

Grandma would start with salad, but I’d eat dessert first and work my way backwards. I can see her telling me off, but grinning all the same, her short black curls just brushing the top of her silver-framed glasses; she’d lean over, wrapping one arm around my shoulders, the other arm stealing a clandestine scoop of my brownie sundae for a brief salad intermission.

I can assume all this stuff, but I can’t really remember what happened on November 12th. What did we talk about?

Why was it special? Why have I kept the receipt this whole goddamn time? And why, pray tell, do I keep seeing ghosts that have nothing to do with me when the only person who was something to me has stayed as silent as air?

The rain outside my bedroom hits the window harder. I wish I could be the sky, the rain, and the essence of wind—dispersed and whipping everywhere all at once, free and thoughtless. A drip from above lands directly on the receipt next to my outstretched fingers.

The nail polish I’m using is yellow, yellow like the lemons Grandma always warned me against eating because she said they would thin my blood. Yellow, like the dandelion wallpaper that I stared at behind Grandma’s head for hours every time we ate at the Buffet (no matter how many times she reminded me to make eye contact).

I’m trying to get a rise out of her today. All of this is just to make her mad enough to finally come keep me company.

“Please,” I whisper, finishing off my left pinky nail. “You’re the only person who ever thought about me enough to tell me texting would deform my thumbs.”

Pressure reaches down my throat and pulls a fist around my lungs. Leaning back to try and cry, I close my eyes when the nail polish wobbles. I don’t even try to stop it as it teeters over the edge, dumping entirely onto my floral comforter. Swallowing the bitterness of lemons in my throat, I hold my breath and wait.

45

Second Half of Lime Bought as Garnish for Drinks Now Wasting Away in Fridge Contemplates his mortality // writing and art by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Writer and Artist

I

had grown completely into my peel when I first felt human touch. It was slightly painful to be ripped from the umbilical that was my branch, but I was raised to be used. All my brothers and sisters were ready, too. It was time to seize the moment and get squeezed!

When we were all detached, we were shipped in a box. I’m not sure where, but I knew that this was the place where we would be chosen. I made sure to really plump myself up for game-time choosing. Everything I’d anticipated was going to come to fruition at any moment and all I had to do was wait.

My whole life has been full of evaluations, so I’m well aware of my perceived sensations from Homo sapiens. I feel when humans approach and I know when it’s time to go, so even when I remained in a cluster of others like myself, I knew what the approach felt like.

I was accustomed to the tossing and shuffling, but I knew it was my time to be made. Shortly after I was uncovered, I became the diamond in the rough, the needle in the haystack, the sole lime to be brought back home.

The usual technique for my kind is to be sliced and squeezed into a tasty cuisine or beverage. You’re never really sure until you get to the cutting board and, even then, the future’s a mystery. With firm, grasping digits and a knife around my circumference, a slice down the middle usually does the trick.

I laid there in two halves for quite a while, as if my user was distracted by other obligations. What is my purpose now as a half? Was this what everyone I’ve ever known fought so hard to become? I pondered a while as I laid in two.

I was thankful for every moment that led to my big squeeze as I anticipated the final hoorah. I sensed the approach and suddenly, I felt further from where I was. I started to notice what being half meant as I was risen from my spot. I had never traveled upward before; I’ve only ever let gravity take its course. I imagined myself being placed back on the tree until this half of me was more prepared, but my environment suddenly chilled and I was placed inside a much colder box than before. I was only half of myself, so maybe I wasn’t fully aware of my perceptions any longer. Waiting was the hard part.

I’ve always been able to sense time based upon my growth, but now I’m able to sense elapsed moments based upon my shrivel. The cold has been bearable, but the darkness is what makes me wonder – was my other half more delectable? Why would I try so hard to become the largest of all if I’d only ever be recognized for half of my life’s accomplishments?

Sometimes, the sun rises. It’s not like anything I’ve ever known before. There are unpredictable, rapid flashes of light every time I’m on the brink of browning. I don’t know how long it’s been since I was sliced. I don’t know how long it’ll be until I crisp. I wonder why there are strange smelling substances in cartons surrounding me. Where are the others? How much longer will I stay here? What will I be if not to be used? What have I done all along to be cusping pulp-less existence? Half of my life, so quickly, became harder than that of my earliest months of life.

It’s harder to believe once becoming a fraction of self. The lingering feeling of hope is what strings me along through the intermittent light in my cold, dark world. It felt right to think ahead and plan for my duties all along, but I reflect upon every moment that led up to my squeeze-less existence and dread my history. Why would I spend life thinking about the unpredictable? How come I was given the power to set unrealistic expectations for my life if I have no way to control them myself? What do my thoughts and feelings mean if they’ll only leave me with dissatisfaction, fear, and disappointment?

Can I differentiate between my hopes and my reality? Will I grow to believe something new?

I am going to disappear from here and no one will notice. Everyone I’ve known has either been used or has died, too. If this is all we live for, then Godspeed, my limes.

Carolyn Langer is a third-year clinical health studies major who is writing their thesis on the concerns of citrus fruits. You can reach them at clanger@ithaca.edu.

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Scientists Discover a New Home Remedy for Cold Symptoms Eating a whole lemon may be the only answer // by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer; art by Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor and interim Seesaw Editor

T

his past week, a study was published by the Ithaca Institute of Scientific Matter stating that eating a whole lemon is a highly effective remedy to common cold and flu symptoms. Within minutes of ingestion, a whole lemon will alleviate common ailments such as coughing, headaches and sore throats in nearly all test cases. Thus far, a whole lemon has been found to have no notable side effects.

When approached, the lead researcher on the study, Doctor Jim Particle, was happy to report on the science of the situation. “It all comes down to the acidic nature of the lemon,” said Jim Particle. “You see, your body isn’t good at detecting quantities in the materials it ingests, so when you eat a lemon, it has no way of knowing that you’re not eating a far larger quantity of a far more potent acid. A modern individual is most likely to experience such a situation when dumped into a pit of acid, and your body knows this, clearing up your respiratory systems in case you need to struggle for air. If you’ve ever noticed a sudden jump in face scrunchidity after eating a lemon, that has its roots in these physiological effects. Furthermore, your body redirects anti-disease measures into anti-acid measures, ending symptoms such as fever and allowing you to heal normally.”

While eating a whole lemon is always advantageous, a single pattern emerged that proved to be most effective in testing. For ideal results, a lemon should be consumed with the rind while staring deeply into your own eyes in the mirror.

Flinching must be avoided. In the event that you flinch while consuming the whole lemon, you must discard it and begin again. Of course, this is not expected to cause any significant issues among the general populace because anyone can eat a lemon. Only the worst kind of coward would flinch at eating a lemon.

Additionally, a whole lemon has also been found to be especially helpful among certain demographics. Noted qualities include being tall, having short blond hair, and having one or more roommates. But they’re more than your roommates, they’re your friends. At least, they thought they were. Researchers noted that if you would be willing to screw such friends over for nothing more than a few bucks and a couple of prospects, you should eat a whole lemon immediately.

The study also found that eating a whole lemon may have other unexpected benefits, which is perhaps why researchers have proved to be so insistent in urging you to do so immediately. Eating a whole lemon may improve your perception of your own surroundings to the point where you’re able to know when somebody wants you to do the cleaning without forcing them to actually ask you, and may encourage you to actually dust that useless collection of knickknacks everyone’s so tired of seeing. It is even possible that eating a whole lemon may rearrange your vocal structure to the point that you stop making that slight gasp of surprise when you’re watching television and see something that’s supposed to be shocking but it’s not shocking; you knew exactly what was going to happen. Nobody thinks it’s cute anymore, not after what you did. Know that it would be enough to make your roommate(s) move out if it weren’t for the apartment’s highly convenient address for local eateries and sightseeing. We all know I could’ve gotten my picture in that magazine if you hadn’t spent half an hour preening yourself in the mirror that morning and stealing the spotlight. God. Where’s my magazine deal? Where’s my three hundred dollars? Go eat a whole lemon. Jim Particle wants you to.

Of course, study of this exciting new treatment is still in its early stages, and more research is needed, but prospects look good so far for starting true clinical trials within the next few months. As we build a better understanding of the mechanics behind a whole lemon and devise a treatment from it, it looks likely that we’ll have an overthe-counter whole-lemon-derivative by this time next year. But then again, these things always take more time than they should. Whatever the timeframe shakes out to be, it seems that humanity’s dream, a cure for the common cold, is truly just around the corner.

Hammond Caught Injecting Orange Juice Into the Veins of Students Claims it was an honest mistake // by Sarah Moon, Staff Writer; art by Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor and interim Seesaw Editor

H

ammond Health Center was recently found to have administered shots of off-brand orange juice, SunnyD, into students instead of the flu vaccine. Ithaca College offers free flu shots to students and staff, but it seems they might have missed the mark this year.

The college claims that this crisis was a result of a simple mix-up with the Campus Center dining hall. Boxes of SunnyD were sent to the health center, while boxes of the flu vaccine were sent to the dining hall. Fortunately, the dining hall had yet to utilize the vaccines in any of the drink machines at the time of this discovery. The college has filed a report with the shipping company and plans to sue; in the event that the college wins the court case, tuition is expected to increase by 4% next year.

Additionally, Hammond also blames some of the student volunteers, students from the School of Health Sciences and Human Performance, for how the SunnyD managed to make it into the arms and veins of so many students without being detected. Secretary John Tangerin claims he caught the volunteers smoking pot outside the building on their break. I asked the volunteers about this but they all declined, saying they would never smoke in broad daylight. I took a look outside the perimeter of the building myself; I found a couple of half-smoked joints but I can’t seem to remember where I put them.

Instead, I interviewed first-year student Amy Brands, one of the many who received the wrong shot. “I thought it felt weird,” she admitted. “I could feel how cold it was inside my arm. Also, the liquid in the syringe was this awful yellow color, but I just assumed everything was normal.”

Another student, who wished to remain anonymous, was admitted to the hospital roughly 40 minutes after receiving the shot because he was allergic to oranges. The student is expected to make a full recovery and will be back on campus on Monday.

Despite this mix-up, if students want to get into Hammond for a free actual flu shot, they have to sign up on a waitlist. The earliest available appointment to get stuck in the arm with a needle that will only take thirty seconds is March 20th (subject to change due to print release time of this article).

Hammond Health Center currently has a glowing 1.5 stars out of 5 on Google, based on 15 reviews. This number is expected to go down after the SunnyD crisis. *Disclaimer: Hammond Health Center has no affiliation with Buzzsaw Magazine (or SunnyD, for that matter).

Sarah Moon is a second-year writing major who snorts powdered Airborne mix. You can reach them at smoon1@ithaca.edu.

Peter Tkaczyk is a third-year writing major who is stocking up on citrus for the impending apocalypse. You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu

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Fraternity Brothers Respond to Cleanliness Accusations Claim the health board doesn’t even know what they’re talking about // by Sarah Borsari, Editor-in-Training

Free Lemonade Now Offered to Students

Waiting in Line at CC

An open letter to our College Judicial Board,

We as an organization would like to offer our deepest regrets that this committee must once again become involved in the affairs of our fraternity. We would also like to express our frustration at this campus for once again targeting our group and villainizing us simply for creating a community where we can be ourselves.

Not to mention that we are a group that is constantly giving back to the community and participating in philanthropic efforts. This year’s bikini bitches car wash fundraiser raised over $2,000, which we split and donated to both the NRA and our local Chick-fil-A, two groups that also get a bad rep. Additionally, we also have three current chapter members who participate in their own weekly service events until the end of the semester when their parole lets up.

Still, despite all the good we do, you send the health department after us? Our chapter house is always held up to code and the highest standards of cleanliness, despite what the department’s report claims. The mold in the fridge was only there because of Kyle’s science assignment and the traces of vomit found in the water system are just from the rager we threw last night. Additionally, the nachos that were found under Michael’s bed were also for an experiment we were trying, and if you hadn’t disturbed them, they would have become alcohol by now.

You see, during our ‘hula for hoes’ fundraiser, Kevin came up with a brilliant idea. We had bought these nasty nachos from Taco Bell. We’re talking inedible here.

So instead of wasting them, we decided to try and ferment them to create our own jalapeño booze. To be fair, not everyone was on board with the idea. Chad is a bio major and he told us it wouldn’t work. But in our defense, Chad is also a major buzzkill, so why would we listen to him?

Think about it. Normal fermentation works because you leave a bunch of fruit out to stank up and then it becomes alcohol, so why wouldn’t it work with our Taco Bell meal? Plus, beer ferments because of the yeast, and there is yeast in chips!

We also figured we could make a fun theme night out of it! Instead of brewing prison wine, we could have our own Frat Fermentation Bash. And we would maximize our profits because we wouldn’t have to waste so much money on booze.

Once again this school shows how little they care about justice for frats, and the health department is taking a page from Chad’s book and acting like a total buzzkill. Like sure, you guys are fun and all for the first three beers, but after that all you do is talk about how we need to “rise above the stereotypes of frats” and “respect women”; get off my dick, man! So, we would like to formally request that both the health department and the judicial board get off our dicks, and allow us to conduct our research in peace, so we can continue to be a force for good on this campus.

Signed, Kyle, Tyler, Chad, Brad, Trent, Brayden, Zayne, Biff, Kevin, Michael, Cody, Logan, Brett, Zach, and TJ

Step right up // by Imani Turner-Wells, Contributing Writer

I

was walking through the Campus Center today during lunchtime. Wow, was that a mistake. I saw the front of the line start at Campus Center dining and you won’t believe where it ended.

I continued walking through the pub and saw that the line was in a sort of mix-up. I didn’t know if the line was towards the South Hill Grill to get that crunchy food or the line to get crappy food. Well, after 5,000 years of trying to figure it out, I finally found the rest of the line. I continued walking and saw that the line ended at the elevator in the pub.

Yeah, that’s about another hour or two to get food.

We all know that those lines at lunch at the Campus Center are long. And I do mean LONG. I see you tired of standing in those long lines while walking back up to the front of the line. I see you rushing to eat your food, as I look through big heavy glass doors of the Campus Center.

So how does this sound? Free Lemonade. I know you’re enjoying the sound of that, so don’t even act sour about it.

I heard that all the dining hall services, including the Campus Center, are giving away Free Lemonde. Can you believe it? The campus is actually giving away something other than technology, pizza, and little cupcakes that you can get 40 of anyway. So, why wait in an hour-long line for food that you don’t know is going to be properly cooked, when you can get free lemonade!

So let’s go and get out of line. Get that sour look off your face and go get that damn lemonade. Come on, and don’t be shy and go get your lemonade.

On second thought, maybe you should wait for the crappy food. I mean did you really think that you were going to get free lemonade? FREE LEMONADE? Do you know this college? Who was going to pay for that? Cornell? It surely wasn’t going to be Ithaca, with the money that they don’t have. I mean, did you really think that was going to happen? Ithaca giving away free lemonade without making you pay for it? Ha, that’s a good one. Besides, even IF Ithaca was giving out free lemonades, can you imagine those lines? They would be longer than the one you’re currently standing in. So continue waiting for your crappy food that you probably won’t eat anyway. Hey, why the sour face again? Did I get your hopes up?

Oh. Whoops.

Imani Turner-Wells is a first-year film, photography & visual art major who once waited in line at the DMV for 3 months before realizing it was closed down. You can reach them at iturnerwells@ithaca.edu.

Sarah Borsari is a first-year cinema & photography major who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who could totally hook you up with some macaroni moonshine. You can reach them at sborsari@ithaca.edu.

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A Monologue From the Rothschild Groundhog You’ll all be sorry // by Seth Alkahuja, Contributing Writer; art by Guinevere Fullerton, Staff Artist

I

’m the groundhog who lives under the Rothschild Place trailer, but I’m also sick of being known as only that.

Here’s my daily routine: I get up, step outside, eat some grass, shit in the grass, eat around said shit, then figure out the rest from there.

Sometimes a kid’ll come over and gawk at me. They’ve tried to make me self-conscious, but it didn’t work. If anything, I’m just too self-aware. I lay awake at night at least once a week in a total existential crisis. It helps to remind me that only in death are we truly free. The other six days and nights of the week I feel so, so alive.

Anyway, I understand why they stare. My butt is a little big as of late.

It’s because of the goddamn lawn mowers that come around once a week, taking the grass with them. Therefore, I have to eat it all before they can do so.

I’m a pretty cool guy though. I’m a pretty nice guy. A pretty groovy guy. They think I just live under Rothschild like a bum, just to keep out of the rain.

Bitch, that’s where I keep my record collection. I have shelves upon shelves of them—the type you need a rolling ladder for.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John is still my favorite.

I can still remember dancing to Coltrane with Mabel before she passed. Damn, things have been hard since she left…

Anyway, my house is not a hole in the ground—it’s a fucking studio apartment, you profiling fucks.

I’ll confess I stole a few things.

I’ll confess I stole a few things six times from the circle apartments last year, including a flatscreen. I don’t regret it either. In fact, I’d do it again. Not to be that guy, but if you don’t lock your doors, and all the grass is gone, and you’re hungry as fuck, but also your home needs rennovating, someone like me is gonna walk right in. I don’t care. In fact, you guys kind of actually deserve it.

Just the other day I stepped in a used condom on the grass.

And these white privileged fucks keep complaining about the dining hall food. Keep your juices out of mine!

Some kid almost caught me once, his gaming equipment falling out of my arms, but I darted away then slashed his tires. He wasn’t going anywhere, but I was.

That night, I set up the flatscreen under Rothschild and tuned right the fuck in to Love Island UK. The footsteps above my head get annoying, and of course I go through the whole thing where I hit the broom against the ceiling, but they never listen. I can hear them sometimes say, muffled, “Aww, it must be the groundhog, haha. Ha ha ha,” and then the footsteps disappear, getting further away.

They think it’s cute.

I think it’s disgusting.

One day I’ll pump so much iron I’ll turn the entire dinky trailer right on its head—and it’ll be completely and utterly spectacular…

buzzsaw asks why... people confuse lemons for faulty cars?

Buzzsaw does not wish to be elitist in assuming that everyone has seen and could distinguish between a car and a lemon, but we have noticed a strong uptick in people confusing the two. We wish to clear up for the public forthwith that there is a noticeable difference between an automobile which has turned out to be a dud and the popular yellow citrus fruit.

Take a look at the item you are trying to identify. Be careful not to attempt to drive the object or put it in your mouth until you have decided whether or not it is a lemon. Take care not to be run over.

The temptation is to make a snap judgement over whether the object is small, yellow, and smells funny on the inside. If it checks all these boxes—beware—you may be looking at a yellow Fiat with a gas leak on the interior, but you might also be looking at a lemon.

If the inside of the object puts you in a bad mood, this too could be a symptom of either high doses of vitamin C or road rage. The face you make when in the throes of either sensation is equally sour and should not be used in your judgement process. Confusing similarities have also ensued in the laboratory, after testing which object was most likely to leak a substance that does not taste good.

In fact, after hours of government-funded research, Buzzsaw Labs have decided that breaking down what makes a lemon different from a car is at best extremely difficult and at worst entirely arbitrary.

Lemons and cars are both social constructs. What we give the word “lemon” could just as easily be a car. Consider Shakespeare’s contemplation on a rose by any other name. Consider Plato’s perfect forms. What is it to name something?

Can a car not be a lemon? Can a lemon not be a car? What among this world clutches to genuine stability when we realize that all manner of objects are but a conglomeration of mass given a name—this within one language out of many by one species out of many? How can this be considered significant?

In fact, Buzzsaw would like to apologize for putting this article out at all, as it seems that we can no longer distinguish between a car and a lemon ourselves. We are very sorry for wasting your time.

Your Editor Indeterminate, Isabel Murray

Seth Alkhuja is a second-year writing and cinema & photography double major who leaves offerings to the groundhog gods in fear of the impending uprising.You can reach them at saklhuja@ithaca.edu.

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