The Mask Issue

BUZZSAW the mask issue wear your fucking mask

er novemb

2020

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News & Views

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Current events, local news and quasi-educated opinions.

Well, here we are again.

Somehow the world is even more unrecognizable than it was when we last spoke to you in May, for better or worse. At Buzzsaw, we believe in telling the truth, and part of that belief is using the power of the press to explain what it’s like to be alive right now, even if it isn’t always pretty. The Mask Issue is about exposing the inconvenient truths, reckoning with this moment in all its great and terrible glory. From tearing down broken systems to understanding why Britney Spears is trending again, our writers and artists are here to uncover the stories that have been hidden away for far too long. We won’t pretend to have all the answers, but we’re grateful that we have the opportunity to ask the questions.

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Ministry of Cool

Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Prose & Cons

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Sawdust

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Seesaw

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Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

Threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

Oh, and one more thing.

WEAR YOUR FUCKING MASK.

Multimedia madness.

thank you

Managing Editor News & Views Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Seesaw Layout Art Web & Social Photography & Dividers Copyediting Section Dividers Advisor Founders

to our exiting editors: Christian and James.

Audra Joiner Christian Maitre Rachael Powles Brennan Carney Mateo Flores Jason Langford Sarah Borsari Joe Minissale Mae McDermott Syd Pierre Rachael Powles Adam Dee Julia Batista

take a gander Restrictions on Rebellion

Write Us!

Kevin Gyasi-Frempah Charlotte Keir Carlos Figueroa Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison

Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

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The Problem with Politicizing COVID-19 pg 7 Black Visions: Bad Hair

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news&views

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Restrictions on Rebellion An exploration into why COVID-19 is a political issue // by Leoardo Amaral, Contributing Writer

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n Sept. 17, the president announced the establishment of the “1776 commission.” “It will encourage our educators to teach our children about the miracle of American history and make plans to honor the 250th of our founding,” said the president. This commission acts as a painfully obvious response to the recent reckoning of the nation’s 400-year racial problem, especially the large-scale protests spurred by the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. “Left-wing mobs have torn down statues of our founders, desecrated our memorials, and carried out a campaign of violence and anarchy.” The President excoriated anarchy in defense of a nation founded by anarchy.

American Independence is one of the most celebrated events in American culture. Every July 4th, the country celebrates the revolution and founding fathers. We hold the ideas of freedom and rebellion as sacrament, we put the faces of these revolutionaries in our wallet; in Hamilton, one of the biggest Broadway musicals of all time, the presence of revolution looms so large, it’s practically a character itself. We rarely if ever examine how the Boston Tea Party intentionally destroyed property as a form of protest against the British government’s tea tax and its stranglehold on the market. The Stamp Act riots, often regarded as lighting the fire of revolution, involved the Sons of Liberty ransacking and attacking the home and office of the commissioner of a tax they perceived as oppressive. When we do acknowledge these events, at least in my experience in K-12 schooling, these acts are exalted. “Look at what brilliant God-like founders did into order in the name of independence and freedom.”

Once the United States established itself as a nation, rebellions and revolutions were cast aside. The Whiskey Rebellion, where whiskey farmers in Pennsylvania rebelled against the excise tax on their product, occurred in the infancy of our nation. It came to a point that the rebels set fire to the home of the tax collector. In response, the force of the 13,000 strong United States militia marched into Pennsylvania. End result:150 men tried for treason, very little death, and the fortification of the strength of this new upstart nation and it’s the ability to squash dissent and rebellion.

Almost 40 years later, a different type of rebellion occurred. Nat Turner, a slave preacher, assembled a group of slaves and led a deadly, bloody rebellion throughout Southampton County, Virginia. Of course, it would be irresponsible not to include the fact that the rebels killed 60 white people, including 10 children. So, it’s appropriate that this rebellion ended with brutal force and the execution of Nat Turner. However, the further response of the rebellion made the impossible possible: somehow making slavery worse. The slaveholding south installed stricter laws such as prohibiting slaves from meeting in private, making an already oppressive practice and regime even more oppressive. A century later, a different approach to black liberation occurred.

The decades long Civil Rights Movement asked for one simple thing: can we, as black people, be treated as humans? Police beatings, house bombings, church bombings and most importantly, FBI interference answered the question. If one looks for an example of FBI surveillance look no further than the apostle of love himself, Martin Luther King Jr. King and his organization, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference’s form of rebellion involved sit-ins and marches, not murder or destruction. The only thing they attempted to destroy: white supremacy. And when met with the force of police, King always advocated for his supporters to not strike back or resort to violence. Yet in the eyes of FBI director J. Edgar Hoover, he was a threat. According to a 1975 US Senate committee, operations within the FBI conducted efforts to discredit Martin Luther King, going so

far as to send an anonymous letter to King to expose King’s adultery and that they ambiguously claim that “there is only one thing left for [him] to do.” But mind you, the FBI did not only focus on King.

Although they didn’t share in King’s nonviolent resistance, The Black Panther Party did share one goal: black liberation. What they also shared: the FBI’s attention. FBI Director J.Edgar Hover called the Panthers “the greatest threat to the internal security of the country.” To Hoover, it meant he was justified in squashing this “insurrection” at whatever cost.

COINTELPRO, an FBI program created to counteract domestic groups practically infected the party like a germ in the body. They would send informants within the party to sow conflict. According to some agents, the FBI arranged for the Panthers to get guns and then later be arrested for possessing them during raids. Ultimately. one of the most violent of the FBI’s involvement was the assassination of Black Panther Illinois Chapter chairmen Fred Hampton and Mark Clark. Turner, King and the Panthers asked for the same thing: black people being treated like people.

In 2020, we see this type of dichotomy in the tale of two movements: Black Lives Matter and anti-maskers. One movement demands for the end of state destruction of black bodies. The other rebels against public safety advice of wearing masks to protect against a deadly virus. One movement has, according to a report by US Crisis Monitor, 93 percent of its protest as peaceful. The other’s very existence endangers lives. One protest has been denounced and condemned by the president while the other has shared sentiments of the president by saying “I want people to have a certain freedom.” Why is a protest about the sanctity of black bodies vilified while protests about not covering one’s face are not? Why is the black revolution vilified, but the American Revolution romanticized?

It seems that revolutions and rebellions in this country are generally accepted when it comes to whiteness, but revolutions for dark-skinned lives are regarded as a threat to the country. James Baldwin put it best when he said: “If any white man in the world says give me liberty or give me death, the entire white world applauds. When a black man says the same thing word for word, he is judged a criminal and treated like one. And everything possible is done to make an example of this bad nigger so there won’t be any more like him.” I must admit, it’s not surprising that a country founded on “all men are created equal,” but only for white men, would have a contradictory relationship with revolution.

Kevin Gyasi-Frempah is a second-year writing major who wasn’t impressed by Hamilton.They can be reached at kgyasifrempah@ithaca.edu

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Politicians On Stage A brief history of political conventions // by George Christopher, Staff Writer; art by Rachael Geary, Contributing Artist

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TRAW HATS! SIGNS! BUTTONS! BALLOONS! BALLOONS! BALLOONS! OLD PEOPLE POLITELY NODDING ALONG TO KATY PERRY! That’s right I’m talking about political conventions. Yes, most political conventions have looked something like that for the past 20 years or so, but these were not always the flag- waving, balloon dropping, nerdier comic-con we know today.

Prior to political conventions. presidential nominees would usually be chosen in private caucuses. However, in 1831 the Anti-Masonic Party made the process more democratic by creating the first-ever political convention, and the convention system of nominating a candidate where delegates from various state parties would vote on who would be the parties nominee. The National Republican Party (no relation to the present-day GOP) would follow suit, as did the Democratic Party under the direction of Andrew Jackson the following year. From then on, conventions became the place where parties would gather together to choose their candidates for the Presidency and Vice Presidency. This would’ve made the conventions must-see TV, if you know, TV was around in the 1830s.

This system stood strong through the entirety of the 19th century until the beginnings of the primary system, where parties would have pledged delegates sent to the convention on behalf of candidates. This began around the early 1900s as being an even more democratic way to decide each party’s nominee. However, the primaries were not nearly as critical as they are now, and most candidates simply waited until the convention to begin the real campaigning. It wasn’t until 1972 that the primary system was solidified, and candidates for either the Republican or Democratic parties had no choice but to engage in the primary process. This was done in the aftermath of the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago where, in addition to riots outside the convention hall, Vice President Hubert Humphrey managed to win the nomination despite not engaging in the primary process like more liberal candidates Eugene McCarthy and George McGovern. So this explains why the parties already know their candidate before the conventions even start, and are even able to make the convention a celebration of that one man or woman.

So, should we even watch these bizarre events that have gone from a cutthroat political mosh pit to an over-the-top display of patriotism, with a little bit of fear-mongering sprinkled in (or a lot of fear-mongering in the case of the most recent Republican Convention)? I would say yes.

Sure they’re cheesy, and filled with bizarre celebrity cameos (looking at you Billy Porter), and cheesy, and there are always folks way too excited about a candidate, and they’re cheesy. But there is something to be said for allowing these parties and candidates to put their best foot forward to the American people. To give these people the opportunity to present the best version of themselves. Now, this does not mean to drink the Kool-Aid that these conventions try to force down your gullet. Always approach any political convention or candidate with skepticism and an understanding of any ulterior motives. But do allow them to present themselves and their ideas...even the terrible ones.

George Christopher is a second-year journalism major who thinks this year’s DNC was seriously lacking in balloons.They can be reached at gchristopher@ithaca.edu.

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The Problem with Politicizing COVID-19 An exploration into why COVID-19 is a political issue // by Leonardo Amaral, Contributing Writer “Why do Liberals drink Lattes?” article in the American Journal of Sociology. Masks are but an extension of that during a very complicated and polarizing time, as noted by Daniel DellaPosta in a 2020 study in American Sociological Review.

“So what? Why is polarization bad? The other side is clearly wrong here! So they deserve whatever is coming their way.” That’s a polarized statement. As tempting as it can be right now to let tendencies take over and jump to bash a Democrat or a Republican for whether or not they wear a mask, it won’t solve anything.

Political polarization and the dehumanization of others only leads to further polarization, divide, and lack of understanding. And that leads to violence, as proven time and time again not only by several psychological studies, but by recent events as well. Headlines like “Woman punches teen boy in Walmart for not wearing face mask” and “Woman calls employees ‘Nazis’ as they ask her to leave their store for not wearing a mask” are becoming more and more prevalent.

You won’t change people’s beliefs by shaming them, by calling them idiots, by dehumanizing them. If anything they’re more likely to further put their foot down. But you can change their beliefs in other ways.

Beliefs change. Opinions change. People change.

Scott Liftman, a 50 year-old from Massachusetts, used to be an “antimasker”until he read an article by Harvard epidemiologist Julia Marcus, and contacted her with some questions. After their conversation, Scott changed his mind, saying to Vox “I want to follow scientific principles, but I also want to exercise common sense.You never want to read something that just shames you. I really think that no two people are so different that they can’t find some common ground.”

I know we’re not all doctors like Julia Marcus is, but we’re still people. If we see someone not wearing a mask, instead of scolding them or insulting them, why not instead take a more careful and personal approach as suggested by Pamela Hieronymi, a Professor of Philosophy at UCLA who studies ethics and moral responsibility. She suggests we “presume that they didn’t mean any harm, and then interact on that basis. ‘Hey, did you know that masks can protect people and not wearing them will put me and others at risk?’”

The virus has already taken too many lives. Masks prevent it from taking more. If you know an “anti-masker”, then please, try humanizing and understanding them before approaching them. Or if you’re reading this and are against masks yourself, please, reconsider.

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n June 23, the Palm Beach County Board of Commissioners in Palm Beach, Florida, voted to pass a mandate on masks. During this meeting, they had to listen to those who objected to the mandate. A woman, who didn’t disclose her name, had many choice words for the board, which included: “You’re removing our freedoms and stomping on our constitutional rights by these communist dictatorship orders…”

I have no doubt many of you have heard things along these lines before.

That masks are a leftist ploy, or that wearing masks is unpatriotic, or that it’s a violation of rights. Be it on social media, the news or even outdoors, there is no lack of political discourse around masks.

But… why? Why are masks a political issue? Why do we assume that those who don’t wear masks are Trump-supporting Republicans? And that those who do are “liberals” or leftists?

You might think “Well… it’s because it is.” And you wouldn’t be entirely wrong. According to a poll from Politico, 86% of Democrats support a mask mandate, whereas only 58% of Republicans do. According to a Forbes study, 18 out of the 19 states lacking a mask mandate are run by Republican governors. So, this does seem to be a partisan issue. But it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t have to be.

Humans long for a sense of belonging, and affiliating oneself with a political party can do just that. It’s not uncommon for people to defend their party in order to justify being a. However, according to a study by David Abrams, a Professor of Social and Behavioral Sciences at NYU, in times of uncertainty, people’s need to belong increases exponentially. Therefore, people are becoming more radicalized, and politics more polarized than ever. It’s now a matter of us vs. them. Republicans vs. Democrats. Liberals vs.

Conservatives. Right vs. Left.

Republicans tend to be “anti-maskers” because their main representatives, including the President, are rarely seen wearing masks and often downplay the virus. So, to them, they’re just upholding their party’s values. They’re part of a group making a stand against authority and standing in solidarity with each other.

The same can also be said for Democrats who choose to wear a mask.

Yes, they’re listening to science, but they’re also standing with their party.

Standing for something with a group of people gives them an identity.

According to Professor Abrams, those who do wear masks see it “as an act of altruism and a way of helping each other out.”

It’s become a growing trend in the United States for more and more nonpolitical subjects to become politicized, like lattes becoming associated with liberals and bird-hunting with conservatives, as noted in the 2015

Leonardo Amaral is a film and photography visual art major who wants to warn you of the dangers of political polarization.They can be reached at lamaral@ithaca.edu

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Can’t Mask This Commercialization

How masks made to protect us from COVID-19 have become commercialized political symbols // by Laura Ilioaei, Staff Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Artist

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have variation: cloth, polyester, leather, you name it. The impracticality of some of these masks demonstrate that they’ve become more than some utilitarian piece of disease prevention.

For when one steps into the world of fashion statements, the personal quickly gets political. The creative liberty of customization opens up the propagation of political agendas. Face masks have become the new t-shirt for advertising which political sides you take or messages you want to make. It can be as subtle as wearing a mask with your country’s flag to show patriotic spirit, or as explicit as wearing one that says, “VOTE.” The 2020 election has become an excuse for people to wear such masks.

So it’s true that masks have been turned into the latest money-making scheme. But when something sells, it’s to fulfill a need. On one hand, masks sell in order to flatten the curve. But on the other hand, it’s a business, and it’s monetary.The face mask has become a new way to show your individual spirit, literally at a cost.

ot even the Coronavirus could cause a full economic halt. Capitalism always finds a way to keep on running like a freight train, regardless of how tumultuous the circumstances surrounding it are. People can no longer shop with the same reckless abandon that they could’ve preCOVID, so they’ve hopped on the e-commerce bandwagon. Businesses have seized this opportunity to make every manifestation of the face mask and slap it on the market.

You’ve got to respect the hustle. What was initially a flimsy piece of cloth meant to slow down the transmission of COVID became a necessary product doubling as a fashion statement. Sure, there’s the default baby blue surgical mask. Luxury brands like Gucci and Fendi flex their brand name to sell face coverings that would otherwise be pricegouged pieces of leather. Celebrities like Billie Eilish have been spotted wearing these masks, inadvertently advertising the brands.

Scroll through Etsy and you’ll find that some artists have found a new niche for themselves. Shop owner Jasmine Brinson of Etsy account ArtTravelLove fashions masks after popular works of art, like the “Hokusai Wave” or “The Starry Night.” Hop onto her page and you’ll find that within the past week she’s been given numerous 5-star reviews by customers.

Regardless of where you go, you can find masks with designs ranging from solid colors to elaborate designs. Street vendors, mall stands, pharmacies, dollar stores and even grocery stores have hopped on the bandwagon of mask customization. Even the material of the masks

Laura Ilioaei is a sophomore English and communication studies major who doesn’t want you to fall victim to mask’s capitalistic allure. She can be reached at lilioaei@ithaca.edu.

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Learning to Heal Understanding traumatic events and how we can cope // by Lytiek Gethers; art by Rachael Geary, Contributing Artist

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erriam Webster dictionary defines trauma as “a disordered psychic or behavior state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury.” According to the Better Health Channel says, “It is normal to have strong emotional or physical reactions following a distressing event. On most occasions though, these reactions subside as a part of the body’s natural healing and recovery process.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) explains, “Traumatic events are marked by a sense of horror, helplessness, serious injury, or the threat of serious injury or death.” Traumatic events affect survivors of sexual abuse, robbery, near-death experience or psychological torment, as well as rescue workers and the loved ones of victims who have been involved. They may also have an impact on people who have seen the event either firsthand or on television. In other words, when someone experiences a traumatic event, it’s unpleasant to the point where it can’t be forgotten. It stays with the individual forever.

Better Health Channel says common reactions to trauma are: feeling in a state of high alert, emotional numbness or feeling extremely fatigued and tired. Because you faced a life-and-death situation firsthand, your adrenaline is constantly pumping, which then exhausts you because there is no danger. But because your unpleasant past experience caught you off guard, now you are on the lookout for signs of danger. Trauma also makes you emotionally numb because it can make you feel worthless.

When a person is repeatedly mistreated and terrified of speaking up against abuse, their mind will shut their emotions off to cope with the lack of support while being abused.

There are many different ways of coping with trauma. The CDC says that in order to cope with traumatic experiences, you should keep to your daily routine. Take the time to resolve day-to-day conflicts so they do not add to your stress. This means speak up when things are bothering you, if it’s safe to do so. Also, you should not shy away from situations, people and places that remind you of the trauma. You should never let anyone or anything stop your joy. Turn to family and friends or support. Check in on your peers, and talk to them about your problems. And last but not least, if you need a therapist, make an appointment, and express your problems.

If anyone is struggling with trauma, they can always seek help from the Center for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) at Ithaca College. CAPS is an on-campus and now virtual mental health service.

They assist students who are having relationship, behavioral or mental health issues. The services are very useful. If anyone needs someone to talk to, if friends and family can’t help, remember that CAPS is an option.

Just remember that it is normal if you have problems and want help. After all, you are a human being, and you have feelings like everyone else.

Lytiek Gethers is a fourth-year politics major helping to break down the mental health stigma.They can be reached at lgethers@ithaca.edu.

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ministry of cool

Love in the Time of Corona is Not What I Asked For Are there really shows about the pandemic… already? // by Megan Bostaph, Contributing Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Staff Artist

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ately there has been a lot of COVID-19 related media circling around, spanning from TV shows and movies, to trashy romance novels (“Kissing the Coronavirus,” why?).

Some projects that have popped up are “Love in the Time of Corona” and “Connecting...” which are both for television.

As well as two 2021/22 movies called “Songbird,” directed

by Adam Mason and produced by Micheal Bay, and “Lock Down,” made by Peter Howitt. Right now, Love in the Time of Corona is the only that has been released, produced

by Freeform, with four episodes that each last about 30 minutes.”

Having sat through the entirety of this show, it’s… underwhelming. There are four main storylines, which gradually expand into about nine different relationships in the show. There are Oscar and Elle, best friends who live in an apartment together; James and Sade, a married couple with a three-year old; Nanda and Charles, the parents of James; and Paul and Sarah, a separated couple who haven’t yet told their daughter, Sophie. The show seems to take place a little while into the pandemic, but the time frame isn’t known. In terms of how the show tackles the issue of COVID-19, it really doesn’t. This series is all about the romances between these characters, and how they are dealing with each other having been forced together by quarantine. The most we are told about coronavirus is that Sade mentions the fact that they need to be careful while shopping, Oscar embroiders a mask for Elle, and Sophie talks about the numbers rising to her boyfriend, all in the first episode. Other than Nanda and Charles’ other son Dedrick staying six feet away from Nanda, it isn’t really commented on. Yes, Oscar goes on e-dates and Elle can’t physically meet her hot neighbor, but those are treated as parts of their daily life, not something unusual. What is treated as important in this show is the romances, not the literal pandemic killing millions of people.

Judging from the description above, you can probably guess that these characters are living in privileged environments. A big issue during this pandemic has been rising unemployment, as lots of businesses and establishments closed early as the numbers of cases were increasing. None of the adults in the show seem to worry

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about their income, even though there isn’t much mention of what they actually do for a living. Despite being unable to go on her trip in order to write a travel article, Sarah doesn’t seem at all concerned about this loss of income for her family. This lack of concern is another way that the show fails to address the pandemic: as mentioned above, hundreds of thousands were unemployed and struggling to get benefits or receive stimulus checks, and yet there is no mention of that in this series.

The way the show treats the pandemic does not seem very relative to the average person’s experience. Most people in the world have been a little more preoccupied with being safe and keeping their family healthy while attempting to hold down a job or finish school. While romance is part of people’s lives, the issue of COVID-19 should have been emphasized more. At the very least, when it’s actually brought up the characters are worried about it and the health and safety of themselves and other people. However, this is currently the only show out that has addressed it in some way. Many other shows that are releasing new seasons were already in production or have established storylines that don’t have to do with the pandemic. It wouldn’t make sense for them to attempt to insert this complex issue into their show, and so “Love in the Time of Corona” is currently the only one fully addressing it.

Despite the lack of a statement about COVID-19, “Love in the Time of Corona” attempts to address the shooting of Ahmaud Arbery. It is brought up very gradually throughout the second and third episodes (2 or 3 lines worth), until finally openly discussed in the fourth and final episode. James and Sade have been discussing having another child, and James, as a black father, reveals to her that he is scared to have a black child in today’s America. The show is not completely clear as to his reasons why, but they seem to stem from the discussion around Ahmaud Arbery and his death. He has seen the video of Arbery’s shooting played on the news, and it unsettles him. His worry appears to have something to do with racism in our society, and how blatant it is, as with Arbery’s death. However, his reasons are vague and not well explained, leaving the viewer a bit in the dark as to exactly what his concern is.

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As important as this discussion is, it wasn’t quite enough.

The show isn’t one that expressly discusses politics and or racial injustice, so there is only so much of the episode they could devote to this injustice. Luckily, the conversation between James and his mother Nanda, and James and his wife Sade, doesn’t come off as pandering, but seems real and genuine. But still a grievance with this is the time frame. Ahmaud Arbery was fatally shot while jogging on February 23rd, 2020. Quarantine started in March. And if these characters have been in quarantine for at least a few weeks or so now, it means that James could not have seen the breaking news when he came back to the house after a run. That indicates that the people who made this show placed Ahmaud Arbery’s death in it so that they could make a statement, and use it as a plot point in James and Sade’s romance. This also indicates that they rushed to write this plot point into the season. Something so tone deaf couldn’t have been carefully thought out, right? As appreciated as the discussion was, it is morally wrong to use a man’s death as part of your characters’ relationship arc.

Overall, the miniseries “Love in the Time of Corona” is relatively bland, and not something that offers new insights to the pandemic and how it has affected people. Everyone in this show comes from a secure household, and makes enough money that they don’t have to worry about not having their jobs. The decision to focus this series around those in privileged positions whose only issue is their relationships is not the best one in my opinion, as there are so many people that could showcase the actual difficulties they experience because of the pandemic. The loss of income, job security, the constant threat of sickness, etc., are all important ways that real people were hurt by COVID-19.

There doesn’t seem to have been enough foresight into what could’ve been captured by this show. I think that there is enough temporal distance from the pandemic to make another series discussing stories from the pandemic, it just needs to be put in the right hands. But that series would need to be based on real experiences, from real people. Judging by “Love in the Time of Corona,” there just doesn’t seem to be enough distance to begin writing fiction about this crisis, as it doesn’t quite capture the hardships. A fictional story based on the pandemic needs to take the utmost care with how it is constructed, and based on this series as an example, we haven’t hit that time yet.

If you are interested in watching a show set in our country’s situation right now, and you like romance movies, go for it. I understand that the premise of the show is to be about love, but considering it’s the first one focused on the pandemic, shouldn’t it actually focus on it?

Healthy Social Media Usage for the COVID-19 Era Misinformation spreads like a virus //

by Erin Terada, Contributing Writer

Megan Bostaph is a second year English major who’s recently added “Kissing the Coronavirus” to their booklist. You can reach them at mbostaph@ithaca.edu

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he COVID-19 pandemic has become one of the most defining moments of the digital generation unlike any other. New norms such as mask-wearing and socialdistancing have been socially adopted to further prevent the spread of the virus in this country and across the globe.

When these mandates were first put in place in March of this year, many have utilized social media more than ever before to stay connected to friends and loved ones when they physically could not. However, social media usage during the COVID-19 pandemic also has posed certain concerns over the spread of misinformation in an era where accurate information is crucial to further prevent the spread of the virus.

When social media first started out in the early 2000s, it was simply an online outlet to virtually keep in touch and connect with people you didn’t see frequently. In 2004, MySpace was the first social media outlet to reach a million monthly active users, followed by Youtube, Reddit, and then Facebook. As technology progressed, the entire world’s screen time increased along with it. Social media has become widespread as millions around the world tune in everyday on their phones to see what their friends, family, celebrities, and favorite influencers are up to. Once the pandemic hit, social media became a frequent pastime, but also a necessity to many.

The months of quarantine left everyone to their own devices at home, literally. In March of 2020, worldwide smartphone usage increased by 70%, and by 40% in the United States. Social media platforms like TikTok took off, with short, one-minute videos of relatable content, but also newsworthy and informational how-to videos. Suddenly, it seemed as if everyone on Tik Tok was making whipped coffee, learning how to cut their own quarantine bangs, and learning dance routines. Tik Tok user traffic increased by 15.4% from January to March.

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As summer trips to the grandparents’ homes, birthday parties, and graduations were canceled, people resorted to using social media to virtually celebrate life’s moments.

While apps like Facebook and Instagram have been around to keep in touch through messaging and photos, since quarantine began, there was a demand for video chatting.

Phone applications such as Google Duo and Houseparty had a significant increase in daily user traffic from January to March, correlating with the timeline of the emergence of COVID-19, to the lockdown.

Social media has not only been a way to connect with family and friends, but it also connects everyone to the rest of the world. Social media has always been an open platform for anyone to say anything they wanted, with little refard for consequences. While this open source of communication is valuable, the easy spread of misinformation on the internet through social media does have consequences, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. As frustrations grew over the lockdown and the virus became increasingly politicized, the spread of misinformation and conspiracies about the virus began to increase as well. United Nations SecretaryGeneral António Guterres went as far as calling this issue the “pandemic of misinformation”.

In an interview with the Harvard Gazette, Kasisomayajula “Vish” Viswanath, Lee Kum Kee Professor of Health Communication at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, said that social media has changed the way the public receives information, from “passively consuming inaccuracies and falsehoods” to being the source of its creation and spread. Social media has a much larger presence now than it did with past outbreaks such as MERS and H1N1. This vast spread of misinformation and political propaganda causes confusion over issues such as mask wearing, how the virus is spread, and even whether the virus is real or not.

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Viswanth said that online COVID-19 misinformation has been overcrowding and overshadowing healthcare guidance from public health communicators, “making our work a bit more difficult.” This creates a challenge for healthcare workers who are on the frontlines working tirelessly to help those battling this virus, all while putting themselves at risk of potentially exposing themselves and their families.

Some social media platforms decided to regulate potentially unfactual posts about COVID-19, knowing the possible detrimental impacts of misinformation being spread throughout the sites for many to read. Facebook put warning signs on posts that were considered misleading, and removed posts that were definitively spreading misinformation. Facebook said in August that they had removed a total of 7 million of those posts, and labeled 98 million posts with the warning. Instagram has also taken initiative to moderate COVID-19 related posts on their platform. Instagram stated in a blog post, “We’ll remove COVID-19 accounts from account recommendations, and we are working to remove some COVID-19 related content from Explore, unless posted by a credible health organization. We will also start to downrank content in feed and Stories that has been rated false by third-party fact checkers.”

Twitter has been actively moderating potentially harmful tweets on its platform as well. Twitter has flagged several of President Trump’s tweets for COVID-19 misinformation. The

President’s election campaign, Team Trump, was required by Twitter to remove a video where the President stated that children were “almost immune” to the virus. These actions taken by these outlets show that social media responsibility during the COVID-19 crisis doesn’t just apply to the everyday American citizen. Even the President of the United States and his campaign need to be held accountable for what information they decide to send to the public.

The utilization of social media during the COVID-19 pandemic has been a unique internet phenomenon that had no precedence. Social media has allowed loved ones and friends to stay connected and close during a time when it is encouraged to stay distant from one another.

People are discovering different ways on how to make use of social media and the internet to keep busy while staying safe. However, social media usage during this time has also shown how there can be detrimental effects when used insufficiently, causing potential harm and continued spread of misinformation, and ultimately the virus itself. As the world continues to become increasingly reliant on social media for communication and news, the importance of social media responsibility and accountability prevails along with it.

Erin Terada is a second year Journalism major who will not be getting their news from Twitter. You can reach them at eterada@ithaca.edu.

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#FREEBRITNEY Leave Britney Alone // by Chloe Gibson, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

Britney’s “toxic” legal arrangement

The birth of #FreeBritney

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After sharing a post to Instagram citing her father’s health struggles as the reason for her show’s cancellation, Brit disappeared from social media altogether. Concerned fans began to speculate, and eventually news broke that she’d been checked into a mental health facility. Then in May of 2019, the Britney stan podcast “Britney’s Gram” shared an anonymous tip claiming Jamie Spears put Britney in the mental health facility against her will after she stopped taking her ineffective medications. From there, #FreeBritney began to spread like wildfire.

The hashtag was originally coined in 2009 by Britney blogger Jordan Miller, a fan deeply concerned by his idol’s legal arrangement. #FreeBritney transformed into a rallying cry for fans who felt the conservatorship should be ended. By the end of May, Britney appeared in court seeking to end the conservatorship for the first time since its conception.

That September, Britney’s legal situation changed more than it had in 12 years. Kevin Federline, Britney’s ex and the father to her sons Sean and Jayden, successfully petitioned the courts for a restraining order barring Jamie Spears from seeing his grandsons after a physical altercation between Sean and Jamie. Federline also increased his custody over the boys from 50 to 70 percent. With tensions running high, Jamie Spears stepped away from the conservatorship role, leaving the responsibility of Britney’s care to manager Jodi Montgomery.

ehab trips. Shaven head. Umbrella to a car windshield.

Celebrity meltdowns were once the lifeline of the entertainment industry. And nobody put on a show quite like 2008 Britney.

A lot has changed in the 12 years since the pop sensation captivated us with her highly documented drug-fueled spiral.

Today, Britney Spears is 38, a loving mother to her sons and widely celebrated for her quirky Instagram and TikTok posts.

Our culture has changed, too. We’re more sympathetic to the mental health struggles of celebrities and less amused by jokes on the matter.

Despite these positive changes, one thing still remains intact: the terms of Britney’s conservatorship. In 2008, with her life hanging in the balance, concerned family members took to the courts of California and requested Britney be placed under conservatorship, a legal arrangement where a guardian is appointed to manage the financial affairs and daily life of another due to mental or physical limitations.

Most commonly, conservatorship is for incapacitated elderly citizens. In Britney’s case, temporary conservatorship was granted and her father, Jamie Spears, was appointed to manage her health and financial decisions. By 2009, the arrangement became permanent.

As conservator, Jamie can sign his daughter’s tax returns, revoke all powers of attorney, and dictate her professional pursuits. For a celebrity with a net worth of, $59 million this is a huge responsibility with a substantial financial payout.

Britney typically spends $400,000 annually, a figure that does not include the additional $1.1 million paid in legal and conservatorship fees. And the people with the power to end the arrangement are the same individuals who it financially benefits.

In the 2008 MTV documentary “Britney: For the Record,” Spears compared her legal situation to being in prison: “Even when you go to jail, y’know, there’s the time when you’re gonna get out,” Spears said. “But in this situation, it’s never-ending.” Britney’s once highly publicized life soon became safeguarded from the public eye and discussion of her conservatorship promptly ended. But that all changed in January of 2019, following the abrupt cancellation of her Vegas show.

Brit’s 2020 legal battle and an explosion of fan support This past August, Britney’s lawyers filed documents expressing the star’s strong opposition to having her father return as conservator. The documents also expressed that Britney wants to make the details of her conservatorship more public and “welcomes and appreciates the informed support of her many fans.” Meanwhile, Jamie Spears maintains the #FreeBritney movement is all one giant hoax.

The drawn-out legal battle surrounding the conservatorship is further complicated by wild conspiracy theories spreading on social media. Many Britney stans have analyzed videos shared on Instagram and TikTok as coded messages. One such example is a video where Brit walks back and forth in front of the camera in a yellow shirt after a

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fan commented “wear a yellow shirt in your next video if you need help.” “[On one hand], you have Jamie Spears saying it’s a conspiracy theory,” Jordan Miller noted in a recent interview with Paper Magazine. “And then you have the conspiracy theorists who are like, ‘She’s posing in a yoga pose and it spells out the word help.’ And it’s like, that’s not helping.

These extremes are ultimately what gets people so conflicted. The general public, it gets them so confused.”

Wider implications of conservatorship status Britney’s struggle reflects a larger legal flaw that has trapped thousands of everyday citizens in similarly oppressive conservatorship situations. While Britney has the resources necessary to fight against her legal situation, most

Black Visions*:

do not. In California, there’s been lots of recent debate over court-appointed lawyers and whether they do enough to advocate for individuals under conservatorship.

Over the summer, the ACLU expressed support for Britney in a widely circulated tweet. One of the organization’s disability lawyers Zoe Brennan-Krohn feels that the power of the legal arrangement is abused time and time again: “conservatorships should be viewed with skepticism and used as a last resort… in most cases, it’s done routinely and without substantive engagement.”

For now, only time will tell for Britney and her freedom from conservatorship. As legal action continues to drag out, her loyal fans stand with their idol, both on social media and at the steps of the courthouse.

Chloe Gibson is a second-year documentary studies & production major who blasted “Toxic” while researching conservatorship law. You can reach them at cgibson@ithaca.edu

Bad Hair

by Mateo Flores, MOC Coeditor *Black Visions is a series that will explore culturally significant black stories of the past and present on the big and small screen.

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t a family dinner, about twenty minutes in, Justin Simien poses the thematic question of his sophomore film effort “Bad Hair.” Simien’s final girl, Anna, tells her family that she believes the slave folklore that they are discussing to be superstitious, to which her father, Amos, replies: “How does one group of people subjugate another? You subjugate a people by telling them their science is superstition, their faith is heresy, and their wisdom is make-believe. They called the American Indians savages, and us? Well, what didn’t they call us?”

Before this, our heroine Anna struggles with work pressure at her job on a black channel called “Culture” in 1989 Los Angeles. Her new boss Zora, played by Vanessa Williams, promotes her from assistant to associate producer on a new show aptly named Cult Live, while her coworkers are getting laid off. On her way out of Zora’s office, Zora asks her who does her hair to which Anna answers “no one.” “Aren’t you tired of it?” Zora asks. “ All the stares you get wandering through the RMV lobby, everyone wondering why you’re here? If you went to any other floor in this tower for a job interview, you wouldn’t get past reception. And you know that. Sistas get fired for less than that every day.”

The clever Simien makes sure that by this scene we already understand what she means. As Zora walks to her segregated office at Culture, she is the only black woman walking through swarms of white businessmen who ignore or gawk at her and she passes a white woman who carries more of their respect with a swish of her straight beach blonde hair.

The office of “Culture” is divided, and the light-skinned Zora takes leadership over the failing channel with a capitalistic interest. She fires staff and encourages those she keeps to adopt her Eurocentric beauty standards through straight sewn-in weaves. Anna’s friends Brook-Lynne (Lena Waithe) and Sista Soul (Yaani King Mondschein) admonish those in the office that purchase the outlandishly expensive and painful sounding weaves. With her mind already made-up and facing eviction due to years of being underpaid, Anna goes to Virgie’s Hair Salon, and gets her haunted weave sewn-in by an understatedly menacing Virgie (Laverne Cox).

We’re nearly thirty minutes in now, and the haunted weave teased in the film’s premise has been sewn into the distraught Anna’s head. And where do we go from here? In what feels like a thematically and expositionally loaded first act, “Bad Hair” establishes all of the thematic pieces that it hopes to address with the haunted weave serving as its metaphor. Without going much farther into the film’s narrative, the haunted weave serves as a visually creepy killing machine, motivating Anna to make questionable decisions as she tries to free herself from its allure.

Though Simien’s messaging on the impact of Western Eurocentric beauty standards on the black community is more or less crystal clear. The film is set primarily with scenes occupied by black characters, meaning that Simien poses these questions introspectively within the black community. After Anna has the weave sewn in in an excruciating sequence where Simien balances a tense anxiety with body horror, Anna returns to her office where white men smile at her as she passes by, and the beach blonde near the elevator winks a sign of approval at Anna’s new straight black hair.

Simien is concerned with the social and cultural ramifications of colonization on black people and the way we perceive ourselves. In particular, the film positions Anna at the intersections between a traditional Culture (referring with the same ironic intent to the channel where Anna works) and a new consumerist vision, where sewn-in straight hair costs $450 to “fit in”. It’s an issue that black women face in the modern workplace; natural and/or Afro-centric hairstyles are met with a

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particular bias and scrutiny. Simien aimed to portray the media’s role in perpetuating a Eurocentric beauty standard by setting the conflict in a TV station in 1989, where black people face bureaucratic business politics as they are granted access to the means of television production for the first time. And the wide-eyed Anna, who dreams of a chance to break through that gate and be seen on-screen is an unfortunate victim to the horrific implications of respectability politics. She begs Virgie to do her hair; “You ever had a dream?” she asks. “One you’d be willing to do anything for?... Especially when somebody says you can’t do it. You don’t deserve this, says you don’t belong where you know your destiny tells you to be.”

Perhaps Anna’s empowered for a moment, but Simien does not allow her to sit in her new glow for more than that. Her new look is undercut by the fact that her boss wants her to get her coworkers to also change their looks, her pay still hasn’t gone up, and she still isn’t guaranteed the hosting gig that she was after in the first place. Instead, we follow her on the slippery destructive path that rarely empowers here.

I think this here is the film’s main weakness. It’s commentary on the weave and how black people choose to present themselves feels too critical and sardonic. Once Anna has the weave sewn in there is no saving her from it, as it does away with the people who transgressed against her and those who reject it’s hyper-femininity. Simien makes visual use of the threat quite well, but it’s metaphorical implications read are too rigid. The weave rarely empowers Anna, as she is frequently horrified by its penchant for violence, or becomes wholly consumed by it itself. In Simien’s world, there isn’t really a place for black women that enjoy weaves or aren’t threatened by them. Simien pits natural hair against artificial hair pretty stagnantly, to the point where he essentially antagonizes all of the weaves in the film (quite literally).

Simien justifies this with the black folklore and Anna’s father Amos, who frequently argues that black tradition has been erased and that a new consumerist black culture has emerged in the wake of indoctrination to a white world. This is the consumerist culture that Anna pushes on her television show, and the same one that Zora pushes onto Anna to put onto others. “Culture” must adopt a whiter image to be legible in the white imagination while trying not to lose themselves within it. Black men in the station are not posed this problem, so Simien affixes this parable onto the black women of his film.

Though by suggesting that the weaves can control those who wear them, that peer pressure and upward economic advancement all push these women to get weaves, Simien does not create space in his film for those who feel empowered by weaves. Simien has created a black femininity that is somewhat monolithic, and one that is frequently attacked by consumerism and Eurocentric beauty standards. This lack of nuance in his critique is perhaps influenced by his positioning as a black man creating this film, and not a black woman who is much more familiar with the context of these conflicts.

Though with its campy aesthetics, cheeky sense of humor, and Simien’s distinct visual interest; Simien has created an entertaining, however somewhat thematically opaque examination of black beauty.

Mateo Flores is a fourth year Writing for Film, TV & Emerging Media Major and Ministry of Cool Co-Editor. Black Lives Matter. You can contact them at mflores3@ithaca.edu

RAW SAW FROM THE

Weak-Ass Playlist: Why “WAP” Was a FLOP

by Laura Ilioaeli, Staff Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Staff Artist

When I heard that Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B collabed to make a single, to say that I was excited is a severe understatement. I plugged my earbuds in and expected some sweet revolutionary beats. But after listening to “WAP,” I felt like a forlorn kitten swept up in a deluge of disappointment. That’s some wet a$$ pussy alright.

Don’t get your panties twisted up in a sailor’s knot; I’m all up for women feeling sexually empowered. This isn’t an article bashing on Cardi or Meg and calling them crass. In fact, it’s astonishing that they’re getting hate for blasting on the heat.

Female hip hop artists rapping about sex isn’t anything new. Sure, it’s been nearly two decades since Khia released “My Neck, My Back,” to say nothing of preceding hits like Salt-N-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex,” and more contemporary music artists like Doja Cat don’t shy away from singing about getting sexual.

Then again, the song itself isn’t so controversial as much as the way people are reacting to it is. When women are placed in a power position, it intimidates those who fear powerful women.

Since Meg and Cardi are both women of color, and therefore primary targets of social and political oppression, turning the tables and seizing the throne further aggravates this unwarranted anger.

So no, this isn’t going to be another article calling this song vulgar and disgraceful, because it’s not. Hell, it’s not even a bad song: ; it’s rather catchy. However, my disappointment stems from the fact that these are two emerging powerhouses who teamed up and ended up making a song that felt lackluster relative to what they had already created solo.

On Cardi’s end, the line “I don’t cook/I don’t clean/But let me tell you how I got this ring” felt like shade thrown at Nicki Minaj’s line “Yes I do the cooking/Yes I do the cleaning” in “Hey Mama.” If you want to diss on another artist, make a separate song. Don’t put the shade into a beat that’s meant to bring the beauty of female sexuality into the limelight. Or better yet, that kind of pettiness needed to die on the heels thrown at a certain 2018 New York Fashion Week. It’s a cattiness that dilutes the power of the song. (That’s some wet ass pussy.)

Meanwhile Meg does retain her usual dominatrix persona with the line “If he ate my ass, he’s a bottom feeder.” However, it remains at just that. It’s a very one-dimensional feel from the Meg we’re normally exposed to. Megan Thee Stallion is iconic because she harnesses her individuality and channels it into her music, but in “WAP” the strength of that message went hoarse. Instead, we just get a few spitting paragraphs about using a guy as a cunnilingus doormat who ponies up cash.

I’ll repeat: “WAP” is not a bad song in any way, shape or form. It just fell flatter than some of the splits people dancing to the song on TikTok have done and leaves more to be desired. Vaginas typically get wet, what’s the big deal about yours being so soaked? You like to ride large cocks, but so do so many other hens in the coop. For the artists involved, I had expected so much more from the both of them, and I was just left dry.

Pen15 - Season 2

by Chloe Gibson, Staff Writer I almost bailed on writing this review several times. Speaking honestly, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stomach a weekend-long binge of Pen15 season two. Don’t get me wrong, I love the show and often recommend it to close friends and casual acquaintances. Its only flaw is being too well done, the show’s cringe factor reflecting my own middle school horrors to a painfully accurate extent.

Alas, I pushed through and quickly found that Pen15’s sophomore season is an absolute must -watch. The show’s cocreators and stars, Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle, step ba ck into their iconic roles, portraying middle school BFFs despite being full-fledged adults IRL. The show first came about as a comedic revisitation of Erskine and Konkle’s own awkward years, further dramatized by the surrounding cast of actual middle schoolers. Despite the show’s comedic take, the plotlines in Pen15 explore societal taboos like sexual urges and racial microaggressions in each episode.

The first seven episodes of season two were released to Hulu this past September, picking up just a few days after the middle school dance that concluded season 1. Maya and Anna are reflecting on the drama that unfolded at the dance, including both girls getting to second base with middle-school heartthrob Brandt at the same time. It’s uncharted territory

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for the duo, who scheme to handle the situation with maturity and coolness. And what better place to resolve conflict than a pool party thrown for a cohort of awkward seventh graders?

The plan does not go as expected, a theme that defines pretty much every sticky situation for Maya and Anna. As the season continues, the conflicts become more serious. Anna continues to navigate her parents’ divorce, Maya stars in the school play and both experience the highs and lows of young love. The second season’s conflicts are explored to their fullest extents, each decision resulting in sometimes joyous and other times sorrowful consequences that the characters really have to sit in. While season one established a concept, season two builds storylines and solidifies Maya and Anna as living, breathing characters that audiences can truly root for.

The undeniable chemistry shared between Erskine and Konkle is the heart and soul of the show. From witty banter to emotional revelations, the comedians tap into their middle school woes with undeniable convention that transports audiences back into their own adolescent years. The arguments and inside jokes between Maya and Anna mirror the ones I can immediately recall from my childhood. There’s also a wonderful balance to their friendship in season two; a solid and resilient relationship brings the girls together while also allowing both to explore their own paths from time to time.

Pen15 is not for the faint of heart. It’s uncomfortable and embarrassing at every turn, highlighting the memories of early teenagerdom we’d rather forget. For those who can stomach it, I definitely recommend binging season two’s first half. And for those like me who are more easily cringed out, I still suggest checking the show out, just at a much slower pace. Either way, you won’t wanna miss out on all the awkwardness and absurdity.

Declan McKenna - Zeros

by Emily Imanishi, Contributing Writer “There’s so many places you can turn to now if you feel lost, and that’s kind of a big part of the story of the album. Where do people turn to when the world rejects them and tells them who they are isn’t valid?” That’s how 21-year old British singersongwriter Declan McKenna described his new album Zeros.

McKenna, who grew to fame with his 2015 single “Brazil” has been on many people’s radar as an up-and-coming indiealternative artist. With his 2017 win of BBC Music’s Introducing Artist of the Year, he further solidified his place within the scene, and began to gain worldwide attention.

After his 2017 release of What Do You Think About the Car? McKenna went on a brief hiatus, making his grand return with his 2019 single “British Bombs.” Then on January 30th, 2020, he announced his second full-length album Zeros. The album was set to release on May 15th of this year; however, due to multiple setbacks, including the Covid-19 pandemic, the album was pushed back to its final release date of September 4th. Throughout this gap, McKenna dropped four singles from the album: “Beautiful Faces,” “The Key to Life on Earth,” “Daniel, You’re Still A Child” and “Be An Astronaut.”

I’d be lying if I didn’t say I probably listened to each of these tracks at least 50 times, but personally I think “The Key to Life on Earth” provided the best image of what Zeros would look like. From its catchy chorus to its bizarre music video that starred McKenna and his famous look alike, End of the F***ing World actor Alex Lawther, wearing cockroach costumes and eating beans, the song has a very “out-there” theme, which carries over into the album as a whole.

Zeros has a run time of roughly 40 minutes, and a 10-song track list that includes everything from the twangy childlike sounding “Emily” to the loud and hard hitting “Rapture.” The whole album leans heavily on guitars and synthesizers, which creates this almost other-worldly tone that adds to its already space-like themes.

On my initial listen, two songs stuck out to me – “Rapture” and “Eventually, Darling.” “Rapture” is the eighth track on the album and starts off very techno-y before transforming into an epic chorus that sounds like it belongs in a dystopian movie’s fight scene. The whole song has this level of drama to it, which elevates the heavy guitar and higher pitched singing.

“Eventually, Darling,” is the tenth and final track of the album. It has a mellow tone to it, and somewhat longing lyrics which make it the perfect song to round out the album. It makes me think of that final episode of a TV show, where you see everyone depart and go their separate ways, unknown when they’ll meet again.

Throughout the album McKenna takes the listener through this journey of growing up. From tracks like “You Better Believe!!!” and “Be An Astronaut” kicking off everything energetically and hopeful, to the later tracks such as “Twice Your Size” and “Sagittarius A*” which gives off a more mature, trying to prove yourself tone. The whole album encompasses this theme of trying to escape reality, while dealing with the everyday.

Overall, I think Declan McKenna did a great job of creating an album full of life and energy, and I’d highly recommend it to people who are looking for something upbeat to listen to.

Arvin is a child born into a happiness that quickly becomes hardship as a result of his mother’s death and father’s corrupted view of religion. Following his father’s gruesome demise, he goes to live with his grandparents, where his defensiveness of his adopted sister causes trouble when a new less-than-trustworthy preacher, played by Robert Pattinson, comes to town.

Among the myriad of issues that unfortunately plague The Devil All The Time is its attempt to balance its adapted source material. It takes the “Magnolia” approach, trying over its 138 minute runtime to illustrate the lives and tragedies of its disparate characters, and how all of these threads ultimately connect through Arvin. However, many of these stories aren’t fleshed out enough to really fill the time they’re given and others simply aren’t given enough screen time. Sebastian Stan’s arc as a corrupt sheriff who wants to get out from under the thumb of a local bigwig comes to mind, as does much of the screen time of Jason Clarke and Riley Keough’s serial-killer couple. The film is at its strongest when facing the tragedies of the Russell family, which include just about every possible tragedy you can think of.

While The Devil All The Timeis disorganized and many of its plotlines fall flat, it does have a few things working in its favor.

For one, Tom Holland gives an exceptional performance as Arvin Russell, capturing the film’s mood of darkness brewing just below the surface. The face-off between himself and Robert Pattinson’s false preacher Reverend Teagardin is truly memorable, and as a fan of the midwestern gothic myself, the aesthetic is something to behold.

Much of what is flawed about director Antonio Campo’s feature is not the makings of a bad movie, rather, it’s the makings of a good movie fallen flat. For instance, one of the movie’s major themes is the way faith can lead to terrible deeds when corrupted, and how corrupt people can manipulate the faithful. Instances of this include Arvin’s father crucifying the family dog in hopes the sacrifice will save his wife from cancer; Rev. Teagardin’s predecessor murdering his wife with the belief that he can resurrect her; or Teagardin himself getting Arvin’s sister pregnant before denying the pregnancy under the assumption that his assault was a form of prayer between them (This is an extremely dark movie). However, this theme of faith and corruption never gets fully explored, instead often ending at the same surface-level violence that exemplifies it.

Perhaps that is the greatest criticism of the film that could be made: despite its runtime, it doesn’t seem to have enough time to explore what it sets out to. It is not so much a failure as it is disappointing, as one keeps hoping for the next murder or stroke of tragedy to poke at something deeper, but The Devil All The Time never really dives below the surface.

The Devil All The Time

by Mint Cadigan, Contributing Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor The Devil All The Time, released on September 11 with the promise of a dark Midwestern Gothic tale told by a starstudded cast, including Bill Skarsgard, Sebastian Stan, Riley Keough, Jason Clarke, Tom Holland, and Robert Pattinson. What The Devil All The Time delivers is certainly dark, but lacking in quality story. The plot is structured around two generations of families in Southern Ohio and West Virginia, all tied together by Tom Holland’s Arvin Russel and, eventually, tragedy.

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Tenet

by Tom Lawson, Staff Writer Christopher Nolan has a thing for time. Call it a love affair, if you like, or a dangerous liaison. From his early outings (the stylishly-fragmented Memento) to his newer blockbusters (the wormhole-ridden Interstellar), the director has placed chronology—or lack thereof—in the spotlight. Tenet marks the mesmerizing apex of his temporal fixation, an international espionage flick in which time doesn’t simply run out, but backwards, too. An early scene shows a bullet being sucked back into a gun barrel—an awesome visual, but how can this be? Did we crash the ballistics demo on Opposite Day? No, but the solution is similarly surreal. “Don’t try to understand it,” a lab coat-clad Clémence Poésy remarked (How amazing it is to watch someone listen to a scientist!). Instead, we should “feel it.” The message is clear: leave logic at the door and just have fun.

With Nolan’s usual musical partner Hans Zimmer tied up scoring Dune, Tenet drops the maestro’s trademark pipe organ swells for an electronica-infused soundtrack courtesy of Ludwig Göransson. The recent Emmy-winner, fresh from Disney’s The Mandalorian, flexes his talents yet again with a bombastic accompaniment that reflects the film’s time-bending concepts in its motifs—he uses retrograde composition to create palindromic melodies… or so I’m told. If that sounds too complicated, well, it’s just the tip of the mind-melting iceberg. I’ve barely even attempted to describe Tenet’s plot, a blistering Bondian storyline featuring a looming armageddon, reverse car chases, and a plane crash that—in typical Nolan fashion—was done for real.

Fasten your seatbelt, because this spectacular action picture has no brake line.

There’s a curious anonymity to Tenet’s 007 analogue. This “Protagonist” (that’s how he’s billed in the credits) has no name, no number, but buckets of wit and athleticism to boot—he’ll dish out a zinger, concuss a kitchen full of goons, and saunter out with barely a scratch. Somehow we like him, despite hardly knowing him, a feat of John David Washington’s Herculean performance. He’s our trusted pilot through Tenet’s choppier waters, a super-spy who, for once, is allowed to be as confused as we are. Rounding out the main cast are Robert Pattinson, on top form as dapper agent Neil, Kenneth Branagh, who exudes theatrical terror as Russian billionaire Andrei Sator, and Elizabeth Debicki, who dexterously handles the film’s emotional core in her turn as art appraiser Kat. It remains to be seen whether Tenet will triumph or wane in the current moviegoing landscape. Sadly, the latter appears more likely. You won’t find it on streaming—Nolan, a loyal guardian of the traditional theatrical experience, has hinted at his distaste for the likes of Netflix in the past. The resurgence of drive-ins makes vehicular viewing an option for some, and for others, socially-distanced theater-going will be a safe enough choice. But with several major blockbusters having abandoned their 2020 release dates, it seems the proof wasn’t in the pudding. It’s a real shame—in more normal times, Tenet ought to have succeeded. Like the hundreds of movie theatres about to burrow into hibernation, let’s hope it’s something our future selves will safely rediscover. Time, as ever, will tell.

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prose and cons

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While lying in the grass behind my elementary school

by Rachael Powles Until There Were No Voices

by Greta Unetich

For Analog—

I wrote for miles until there were no voices.

The silence was broken by echoes from above, Spilling through stained glass clouds.

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I consider whether or not it’s foolish to try haunting old places.

It’s not my school anymore after all.

It belongs to other children now.

This might as well be a temple in ruins, with nothing but ghosts on the playground.

(I watch two ants battle among the blades of grass.)

I wonder if the tree we planted in third grade is still okay and why they ripped up the black-eyed susans in the butterfly garden.

I wonder if fifth graders still look like grown ups when you’re five and staring up and if wood chips still get stuck in your knees when you fall off the monkey bars.

(The smaller ant jumps on the bigger one.)

I close one eye to focus on a single flower in front of me And I make the background go foggy.

Open the other eye and the world comes into focus.

Far away a child, or maybe a ghost, laughs going down the slide.

I wonder if he’s ever seen the butterfly garden when there were black-eyed susans, or if he’s scared of big kids or maybe he thinks he’s a big kid, and I marvel at the power of perspective.

(The big ant carries the little one away in its jaws.)

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New White Boots

by Lorelei Horrell

Driving down a residential road at exactly 25 mph, on the way to get coffee creamer and wheat bread, a mother told her daughter, “I knew the kid that used to live in that house.”

Hellen didn’t tell her daughter the kid’s name was Henry, and she knew him very well.

She grew up here. She rode her bike on these hills, stomped in this creek, slipped through that hole in the fence. Hellen grew up and left, and came back, and then left again. And then, after her daughter grew up, the whole family came back once more.

These were her roads. Her people lived in these neighborhoods. She knew all the stories.

As for Henry’s house, the story mostly started when she decided his party sucked. It was New Year’s Eve, and Hellen couldn’t even be bothered to stick it out until midnight. In her brand new white boots, she was going to walk all the way home.

In freshman year, Hellen would have died to get an invite to Henry’s annual New Year’s party. She went out and joined the swim team (which was torture in the winter). She stopped playing in the creek. She started babysitting, then took her cash straight to the mall and bought whatever the mannequins were wearing. And she found that one day, when she emerged from the pool, people found her recognizable. They smiled. They wanted her to come to things.

But she still hated so much whenever someone brought out old pictures of her. Looking at old yearbooks – and realizing her classmates could look at them too – made her feel all cold and shivery like she did in the locker room after swimming laps in December.

But tonight, walking home early seemed like the most logical decision - past wishes be damned. She had arrived with her best friend Kate, who had disappeared hours ago with her boyfriend. Hellen wasn’t going to go looking for her though, because even if Kate wasn’t busy with Dylan, she was most certainly wasted at this point.

Everyone was. That was the problem. Besides the fact that no one wants to leave a New Year’s Eve party before the new year, none of them could guarantee they would get her back in one piece. She wanted to ring in the new year in the peace of her own bed, not a hospital one.

It was just so loud in there. She couldn’t unclench her hands. And Henry, wearing the same frayed green sweater he’d had since freshman year, kept asking her about her resolutions whenever the conversation between them went still.

Yes, she had thought, I do want to do something. I want to do something.

And so Hellen’s new white boots were clomping along on the sidewalk leading out of Henry’s neighborhood. The truth was that she had worn them to impress Henry, but it only took her half an hour to realize how dumb she had been to want approval from a boy who drank his soda at room temperature because he had forgotten to go buy ice before a party.

She had changed so many times before leaving that her mother had come upstairs and asked if her plans had been cancelled. It was all no good, because this outfit had to be Henry’s. The sparkling blue sweater she wanted to wear wouldn’t work because Andy would be at the party; she had worn it on their first (and last) date. That skirt was Andy’s too. This shirt, Nathan’s. And so on. Then, when she finally settled on the outfit, she had wanted to pull her hair up – but the scrunchie was Eric’s.

Now, she just wished she hadn’t given her new boots to Henry. She wanted to wear them for her spring talent show at school. She had performed in it before, but since she was a senior now, she was going to make the leap to singing solo, and to be honest, she wanted everyone to think her boots were new so they could be distracted from her voice if things went bad.

And she didn’t want to be thinking about anyone else as she was doing it.

Hellen turned out of Henry’s neighborhood, where the sidewalk ended and the main road picked up. The speed limit was higher here, so she walked faster, too. She picked her way along carefully, ducking behind bushes whenever she saw headlights. She knew it was just her luck that it would end up being a cop who would bust her for being the least bit tipsy.

No, no time for that kind of run-in. She just wanted to get home and find her mother’s good trash bags and start demolishing her closet. By morning, she would no longer feel like she was constantly hosting every boy in the senior class.

She couldn’t wait to be alone.

Switching off to a side-street shortcut, Hellen paused in a street light to inspect the state of her white boots. She was pleased to find they were still spotless. She scurried on, imagining that there had been no party, that she had just been taking a walk to feel the night air. These were her roads, after all, and it all felt very small most of the time. So she was surprised when the pavement in front of her seemed to stretch and stretch, on and on.

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Keeping Distance

by Julia Dath

“I just want to know you.”

The statement stuck with me like a sticky sap poured over every thought. I just want to know you, Kellan whispered in the shell of my ear just before I fell asleep curled up in his arms. It felt like an accusation. I had hidden from him. He didn’t know me.

The next morning, my drive home from his house felt like the roads had been stretched longer. The radio was barely a buzz in the background. Kellan’s words kept my rapt attention.

I just want to know you.

Those words lit memories to life. I thought of our elbows touching as we sat side by side on the city bus together. His winter coat puffed to brush against the bare skin of my arm. I thought of the afternoon when he’d sat on the floor of the kitchen with my head in his lap. The sun burned into my eyes and then I blinked spots. A laugh blurted out of me and I scrunched my eyes shut.

Before every date I’d set up shop in his bathroom, a thick strand of my chestnut hair wrapped tightly around a hot barrel iron. Kellan didn’t even bother to knock on the door as he passed by. It always took me at least an hour in the bathroom to get ready to go out and he realized there was no use in waiting.

Memories poured into my head. I thought of the list of films I’d texted him for “essential viewing” and the origami paper hats I’d shown him how to make out of gum wrappers. I thought of when I’d laughed at the jokes he knew only I found funny and when he asked me for a tissue in a crowded room because my allergies meant I kept them on hand.

Don’t you know me?

Our days had become saturated with each other. I knew the touch of his skin and the creak of the floorboards by his bedroom and the books he shelved next to the front door. Those things weren’t spoken, but they were known. I thought we didn’t need words to know each other. It was like we had our own secret universe together where we didn’t need words to understand each other. I could just look at him cooking in the kitchen or walking down the stairs and know exactly how he was feeling. But his confession had frayed the edges of those memories, distorted their meaning. Maybe winter coats and movie lists and tissues were not evidence of a secret world at all. Perhaps I had concocted their significance in my head.

The chime of my phone pulled me back to the present and the car. Somebody on the radio said it was going to rain later today. Good, I thought. I would not drive back to Kellan’s apartment in the rain.

The morning after his confession—this morning, before I’d driven away—Kellan had made me a cup of instant coffee.

When I asked him about his sleepy confession, he had merely shrugged.

“You’re just so private.” Kellan passed me the sugar even though I never used it.

“But I’m not some sort of stranger—” “I never said that. I mean… don’t you want me to know you, really know you? I want your secrets, the stuff you don’t give to other people.” He’d reached out to put his hands over mine, clasping the skin of my fingers between the table and his palms.

I looked up to his young face, and for the first time in my life, felt like I didn’t understand what I saw.

“I don’t know you,” he said. “But I want to. You can’t hide from me.”

No reply came. I sat there, breathing in the beer stench of his unwashed kitchen sink, and made no reply.

“Please,” he’d whispered.

And then I’d up and left, grabbing my bag and heading for the car. Maybe he’d called my name, but I wasn’t listening. If he thought he didn’t know me, then he never would.

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i. spring the leaves tremble, wind whispering through a soft blend of emerald rustling a gentle hello sunlight presses a gentle kiss warm, shifting shadows cast onto the ground below damp, dusty unsteady and hungry yearning carelessly and all too unaware of the gentle caress of light

seasons

by syd pierre

ii. summer

It’s Easier to Love You Than to Lose You

by Gabrielle Topping Grief is a beast.

Sharp claws that scratch at your heart and sink into your soul.

Shredding your stomach lining and knotting up your intestines.

the sharp crack of the lighting whip electric and ecstatic all at once a white hot jolt too hot the creak of a branch, an early warning rain relentless a heavy pounding thrumming, drumming throughout on edge with nowhere else to go but inside

Grief is a tsunami.

Catastrophic waves crashing on your head and pounding on your chest.

Intense feelings and emotions erupting like underwater explosions.

Grief is a nightmare.

Your most frightening fears exist in reality and monopolize your consciousness.

Unexpectedly transforming the kindest and most generous humans into guardian angels.

iii. fall the fire rages, burning the trees from the outside in rusted ruby, burnt umber the leaves rustle, a quiet remembrance of a spring long gone what once was, what could have been Something shifting, turning underneath the splintering wood They fall again and again and again trembling in the air, fluttering to the ground pressed against a lingering sense of warmth wary of being crushed

Certainly never thought you would be in Heaven so soon. We’ll always Remember how faithful, amazing and Incredibly loving you are.

Strong in both mind and body.

Thank you for being a beautiful example Of integrity, authenticity and Perseverance. Everyone is so blessed to Have had the honor of knowing you. Your Energy is immaculate.

Rest in Peace.

iv. winter a fresh slate a sheen of ice layered over the soft crush of snow underfoot delicate, careful balance on uneven ground frigid air and a warm release of breath a delicate cloud of hesitation hangs heavy in the air before it floats away

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After Months of Argument,

sawdust

Conservative Parents and Liberal Teenagers

Compromise

Agree to overthrow half of the government // by Eliel Safran, Contributing Writer

A

cross American households, a deep ideological divide has split conservative parents and progressive children for years. It has manifested itself in unpleasant family dinners and uncomfortable car rides. 49-year-old father Gerald Pearson and his 19-yearold teenager Alex Pearson are no different. For four years, Alex has argued for the “complete destruction of our antiquated system,” while Gerald has stood in strong defense of “the traditional way of doing things.” After years of intractable conflict which has jeopardized their relationship, we are delighted to hear that they have come up with a compromise to end their disagreement once and for all. After much deliberation, they have agreed to overthrow only half of the government.

This innovative approach satisfies everyone. It gives the power back to the people, guarantees minorities their human rights, and unshackles the American citizenry from the bonds of capitalism, while, at the same time, it does absolutely none of those things.

It’s a solution so simple that we’re shocked it has never been proposed before. How would this ever work, you may be wondering. Fret not, the following are some important changes that will be implemented as decided upon by the Pearsons: 1) In regards to immigration, this new America will embody the cries of Emma Lazarus, immortalized on the statue of liberty promising to “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” However, it will only do so for a 24 hour, purge-type period biannually. During this period, the borders will open, and a mad rush will proceed. Anyone who makes it across the border in that period gets immediate American citizenship. For the rest of the time, immigration restrictions will remain as usual.

2) As the police force is a racist system evolved from slave catchers, it has to be abolished. To fill the corrupt power deficit and let men continue to play with their murder toys, mailmen will now be armed with handguns and tasers. They will be permitted to use any force they deem necessary to “protect the mail” without question. As known adversaries of mailmen, it is predicted that domestic dog populations will face mass slaughter. This is a small price to pay for national harmony.

3) Despite calls to “eat the rich,” most Americans would agree that this course of action would be ruthless, undignified, and inhumane. Instead, the rich will be consumed in a much more civilized protein shake form. These protein shakes will be catchily branded with flavors like the “Bezos Banana Blend” and the “ Musk Mango Mix.” Mark Zuckerberg will be spared, as his name doesn’t lend itself well to alliteration.

4) Clean water is essential, so strict regulations will be put in place on corporations to prevent water pollution. However, air pollution can continue; after watching the 2012 animated film “The Lorax” starring Danny DeVito during family movie night, both Gerald and Alex have agreed that the concept of artificial bottled air featured in the film “looks pretty cool.” Additionally, if the polluted air makes the surface of the earth uninhabitable, due to how clean our water is, we can always devolve back into fish people, live underwater, and simply not breathe.

The full 46-page plan for the future of America can be found in Alex’s notes app, or scribbled on half-crumpled napkins scattered around the Pearson family den. In these trying times, we can finally look towards the future with optimism thanks to the Pearson family, who turned to our divided country and dared to ask, ‘Why can’t there be an easy way out?’

Eliel Safran is a first-year film, photo and visual arts major who has begun catfishing billionaires for their delicious flesh. You can reach them at esafran@ ithaca.edu.

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The Phantom of the Opera

Speaks Out as a Mask Advocate

Claims we must “purge all thoughts of the life we knew before.” // by Sarah Moon, Contributing Writer; art by Ananya Gambhiraopet, Contributing writer and Artist

T

he pandemic has divided people around the world-but mostly in America—to wear a mask or not to wear a mask? Well the answer is pretty obvious, and even the Angel of Music has stepped out of the shadows in solidarity. In between dimly-lit and foggy boat rides in secret moats, the Phantom of the Opera brings you advice on how to survive the pandemic: • • • • • • • • • • •

Make realistic, life-size dolls of the people you love—you won’t get sick from hanging with them Sabotage musicals (over Zoom) Listen to the “Phantom of the Opera/WAP” remix Hold family masquerade dinners in your house every night Learn how to play the piano Write, compose and perform your own opera on Zoom for everyone you have ever met Create a shrine for your latest TikTok crush Plan your dream wedding on Pinterest (think mason jars circa 2013) Tell your crush you’re in love with them (if you’re reading this, Christine, my heart belongs to you alone) Drop backdrops or chandeliers on non-mask wearers After realizing the love of your life sees you as a stalker, disappear into your throne (or spinning office chair, same difference), which if you think about it, is the ultimate form of social distancing. You can’t endanger anyone if you no longer exist.

The Phantom assures the public that no one is a bigger advocate for wearing masks than he is, even though the source of his infamy is a mask that does not cover his mouth or nose. When asked about this crucial difference between his traditional mask and an N95, the Phantom assured me he was wearing both masks, leaving only a small portion of his face exposed. Although most theatre productions have halted for the time being due to COVID-19, for the rehearsals and performances that continue on, the Phantom continues to reserve Box 5 for the sake of social distancing. But ultimately, even when things get better, (and Edward Cullen has survived yet another pandemic) the Phantom hopes masks will be as common as wearing your underwear so that one day, he will no longer stalk the sewers or rafters, but the wide-open streets.

Sarah Moon is a third-year writing major who spent a whole stimulus check on dry ice and candles for a basement lair. You can reach them at smoon1@ ithaca.edu

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Covid Vaccine Scientists Begin to Search for

Alternate Healing Options Allocate funds to invest in crystals, salves, and leeches // by Peter Tkaczyk, Contributing Writer

I

n response to mounting frustrations over repeated roadblocks on the search for a treatment, cure or vaccine for the COVID-19 pandemic, younger doctors are increasingly turning to more esoteric methods in the hopes of finding some way of slowing the spread of the deadly disease.

One potential method that shows particular promise and will soon begin human trials is Leech-Enabled Bloodletting (LEB). Despite common beliefs about angry ghosts, COVID-19 is actually caused by tiny undead creatures called “viruses”, which live inside the human bloodstream. By removing portions of blood, the amount of viruses in the body by weight decreases, giving your immune system an advantage in fighting off the invaders. The leeches will then harmlessly convert the infected blood into more leeches. Testing will hopefully rule out the primary potential risk of this method, Vampiric Cross Curse Contamination (VCCC), the phenomenon where consuming an undead creature, in whole or in part, can cause the consumer to become undead themselves. In the worst-case scenario, the leeches may metamorphose into macroscopic viruses, Just Like In That One Star Trek Episode (JLITOSTE).

Already being employed for certain at-risk patients is the tried-and-true method of homeopathic reapplication of viral material. In simple terms, in any case that excessive amounts of something cause damage, minute amounts of the same substance will reverse that damage. Thus far, the injecting of individual COVID-19 viruses into infected patients has shown little to no change. Further research is being made towards more metaphorical causes of the disease. Future trials will focus on exposing patients to tiny amounts of not covering your face or being too close to another human being.

Not all research makes it so far, however. While the Harvard Medical Center recently showed promising results with utilizing quartz crystals to draw out negative energies, the Harvard Anti-Irony Board has advised a full stop to all further research into this field.

“We have always advised against the mass use of highly symbolic medical instruments such as healing crystals,” board spokesperson Alan James said. “Too many crystals are in use, and suddenly, bam, they’ve decided that it’s actually the planet that they’re treating, and we were the real virus after all, which could represent a considerable escalation in the scale of this crisis.”

Harvard has responded, stating that they are suspending all further crystal testing until further research can be conducted on the risks involved.

Despite the disquieting scale and reach of the pandemic, the continued effort and dedication of researchers like these around the world continue to give renewed hope. While many roads may lead to dead ends, an abundance of roads can only improve the chances of one leading somewhere, and so maximizing the resources spent on niche areas of the medical field can only bring us to better places.

Peter Tkaczyk is a fourth-year writing major who has definitely not lost 15% of his blood to leeches (DNLBTL).You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca. edu.

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An Ode To

Quarantine Hobbies

Where the mind goes when there’s nowhere to go // writing and art by Laura Ilioaei, Contributing Writer and Artist

Chillin’ in the kitchen in my pj’s Whippin’ up my seventh Dalgona coffee of the morning Time is but an illusion in these quarantine days Investing hours in hobbies that aren’t so boring Tiktok, tick-tock I didn’t realize people could be so creative No writer’s block These drafts don’t lay vegetative Connections go wonky when I try to Zoom Exemplifying 2020’s confusion Stay sanguine when you feel a rheum No hypochondriac delusion Crack open a cold one, ya wanna Crown yourself royally, Corona?

Netflix changes their Algorithm

Instead of asking you’re there, it now begs you to leave // writing and art by Ananya Gambhiraopet, Contributing Writer and Artist *cue ominous Netflix opening sound* Check out the brand new features on your favorite streaming service this fall!

Netflix is proud to introduce a new voice feature that not only allows you to give voice commands but also lets Netflix speak back to you!

Netflix has also planned to partner with Google so now you can link your account to your work/school calendar to see exactly what you’re procrastinating on!

And last but not least our latest feature is specially tailored films and documentaries, to remind you of the terrible pandemic that has taken over the world, plus a live feed feature to see how badly your fellow human beings are dealing with this catastrophe!

Who’s Watching?

Really? Are you sure that’s your profile? Damn, that’s like the 7th time this week. Don’t you have other, better things to be doing? I mean you don’t even pay for this account, so it’s not like you need to be trying to get your money’s work. Speaking of work did you just cancel your shift so you could binge Gilmore Girls again?

My List • Laundry • Grocery run • Complete Buzzsaw article • Finish project

Recommended for you!

• BRAND NEW! “Marie Kondo’s: Don’t you have to clean your closet?”

• A random Christmas romance but it’s just the protagonist standing up her date because she’s too busy binge-watching a tv show • Riverdale season 5 • 3 straight hours of drug commercials • Netflix Original documentary: “How the Netflix Party extension actually steals all of your information and sells it to the government” • Coming of age film where the lead protagonist has sworn to never binge shows because she’s “not like other girls”.

• The bee movie but every time they say bee it takes you back to the beginning • Brand new, comeback season of Glee, but this time none of them can sing and the songs are all of your favorites • All the seasons of the office but it’s edited so everyone is wearing masks We hope you enjoy these new updates and continue to use your favorite streaming service! *Reminder that as of 10/30/2020 our subscription rates will increase- and as always terms and conditions apply!*

Watch it again The Great British Baking show? Again? What is it now the fifth time?

You know who wins that season, you've watched the finale a dozen times. What are you going to do with all of this baking knowledge anyway? You don’t even know how to make an omelette, idiot!

Trending now • How too much screen time can actually kill you featuring your concerned parents • Documentary on how “Netflix and Chill” is leading to a surge in breakups in America • “Why You’re Still Single”, a Netflix special that shows you exactly why you still can’t find that special someone.

Laura Ilioaei is second-year English and Communication studies major who has composed many sonnets for a pet turtle. You can reach them at lilioaei@ithaca.edu.

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Ananya Gambhiraopet is a first-year communication management and design major who has been taken hostage by Netflix AI. You can reach them at agambhiraopet@ithaca.edu.

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buzzsaw asks why... all those horror movie guys can wear a mask to slaughter hundreds, but you can’t wear one in the drive-thru?

Now I’m not saying that you should go around hacking people to death in the woods... but as far as aerobic exertion goes, I can tell you which activity it is more difficult to wear a mask during. Wear a fitbit while you grab your morning coffee, and again when you take the life of an innocent, the numbers don’t lie.

Consider the luxury most of us have when picking a mask. We get to wear flower prints, bright colors, even messages for all to see. We can coordinate our outfits and use masks as yet another outlet for self-expression.

I can tell you a group of people who don’t get that same luxury.

Don’t you think Mike Meyers wants to don some glitter every once in a while, just to shake things up? Of course he does, but he knows that ambiance is half the battle, and he’s too dedicated to the craft to indulge in unprofessional whims.

So who is really the victim here?

Regular masks are so low-maintenance as well! All you have to do is put them on around others, take them off when at a safe distance, and wash them every couple of weeks. Do you know how hard it is to clean blood stains off a hockey mask? You probably don’t even care about all the work that goes into the strategic staining that gives a mask that weathered grunge look while staying functional. You really should learn to be more appreciative of all the work that goes into your ritual sacrifice.

True, your glasses may get fogged up when you wear them with your mask and that stinks. Though I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that you’ve never had to deal with blood coming through your front eye spaces when stalking menacingly through the woods. Talk about low visibility!

And why go through the struggle of running from a killer and trying to stay alive if you are going to turn around and risk it all for some fries? Quit wasting your breath about the firearms you need to “protect yourself” if you’re going to keep breathing on everyone and vilify a small square of cloth while facing a foe far more deadly than any masked man.

So before you go online and complain about the troubles of wearing masks, consider how lucky you’ve got it. And avoid cabins in the woods, as a rule.

Your editor and face-covering fanatic, Sarah Borsari

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