Quench

BUZZSAW FEBRUARY 2017

Progressive Patriotism pg. 5

Water Wars pg. 22

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

Review: I Am Not Your Negro pg. 32

Buzzsaw presents...

EDITORS’ COMMENT

The Quench Issue

Putting out a fire deep in the pit of your soul. Ripping off a fresh scab that should otherwise be left alone. Jumping into a gorge on a hot Ithaca summer evening. The burning desires that propel you into action and seizing what you want. Welcome to Quench.

BUZZSAW News & Views Upfront Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Seesaw Layout

Tackling the misconceptions within the Latinx commu- Art nity, one writer reminds us that there is no Latinx score- Website card. (Not Your Gringa, p.8) Social Media

Relieving the pressure of a week’s worth of responsibili- Production ties comes early with campus drinking cultures starting on thursday. Amidst heavy drinking culture, the lines between party fun and alcoholism are blurred. (Thirsty Thursday p.20) Bringing to light the homogenous structure of one of Advisor the most prestigious academies that has selected the alleged best films for the past 88 years. (Oscars p.29)

Jeff Cohen

Founders

Divider and Table of Contents Photography

By Mark Gross

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

Mark Gross is a wizard and senior at Ithaca College who will graduate with a BFA in Film, Photography, and Visual arts. He is an experimental artist who works with visual and audio components. Sexy and noizy. The charming young artist will turn you into a fool with his smile and trap you in his gaze, even without being in the room. Please carefully enjoy his daunting images spaced throughout the magazine.

Alexa Salvato Michele Hau Alexis Morillo Sophie Israelsohn Lexie Farabaugh Jordan Aaron Julia Tricolla Tatiana Jorio Tara Eng Brianna Pulver Claire McClusky Megan Banning Christine McKinnie Katie Siple John Jacobson Alex Coburn Mila Phelps-Friedl Kevin Swann

Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison

Buzzsaw is published with support from Buzzsaw is also funded by the Ithaca College Student Governance Council and the Park School of Communications.

Vanguard Printing is our press. (Ithaca, N.Y.) Buzzsaw uses student-generated art and photography and royalty-free images.

Views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editorial staff or of Ithaca College.

Feedback and contributions should be sent to buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

Front cover art by Claire McClusky Center art by Francesca Hodge Back cover art by Claire McClusky

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Write Us

Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

Table of Contents Seesaw ..........................................................4 Print media is dead, check out multimedia on the web.

News & Views .................................................5 Current events, local news & quasi-educated opinions.

Upfront ........................................................14 Selected dis-education of the month.

Ministry of Cool ........................................28 Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Prose & Cons .............................................36 Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

Satire threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

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BUZZSAW News & Views

Sawdust .......................................................45

Quench: Videos (From left to right)

“Discovering Kava” - Andrew Hallenberg “Personal Profiles” - Julia Tricolla Not pictured: “Quenching Introversion” - Julia Bergdoll

“Water Taste Test” - Mystikal Scalzi

Subscribe: www.vimeo.com/buzzsawmag www.youtube.com/buzzsawmag

Progressive Patriotism Turning noise into change

By Isabel Brooke, Contributing Writer

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gued that it doesn’t effectively oppose Trump. The agenda is too narrow, as these issues are prioritized only by “upper-middle-class voters in university towns and coastal cities.” To have a legitimate, unifying opposition movement, Brooks proposes that the agenda would include topics like “the way technology and globalization are decimating jobs and tearing the social fabric; the way migration is redefining nation-states; and the way the post-World War II order is increasingly being rejected as a means to keep the peace,” which are more pressing, universal and relatable.

That isn’t to say that reproductive rights, health care and equal pay are unimportant. But to have those issues drive the agenda is to limit the anti-Trump resistance movement and take away its threat. On this path, there exists a disconnect between the resistance and party politics, and between the resistance’s agenda of the resistance and our current world’s agenda.

What, then, is the solution? The momentum of this resistance movement ought to be harnessed into real change that can begin to heal our divides and move the country forward.

The solution begins with renewing hope in our democracy and establishing agency. Policy change comes from the government, so scorning the institution of it is unproductive.

Change comes from the people, from democracy, from you. Understanding the game and its players, knowing how to contact them, staying engaged, and voting are what differentiate noise-making from changemaking.

Secondly, the agendas of the various protests need to find common ground to unite the messages into one which accommodates a larger following and opposes what Trump embodies, rather than each of his individual actions. This will establish the movement as a viable and credible threat to what Trump represents.

His campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again,” is a foundation for opposition. Trump embodies a regressive, backward-looking patriotism which treats history as a guide book rather than a cautionary tale.

Pink hats, drawings of the female reproductive system, and an overuse of the word “pussy” is not the makings of a productive movement. Do I wish it were enough? Absolutely. But it isn’t, because it’s not inclusive. It doesn’t convince Trump’s reluctant supporters. I’m not saying the demands should be tempered. I’m asking for them to be unified in a movement against Trump and being about real, productive change.

I advocate, therefore, for a forward-looking, intersectional patriotism. A patriotism rooted in the potential of the country rather than its past. Where we can go is more worthy of pride than where we have been, and this mentality is accommodating and inclusive. It is a mentality which supersedes socioeconomic status, geography and generations.

We can dream of an America that has both equal pay and a secure border. We can dream of an America that leads in green initiatives and in military strength.

An America that values both technological innovation and the arts. An America that globalizes without jeopardizing national interests. One that seeks answers and betterment, prizes its diversity of culture and ideas and is globally respected for its democracy and innovation.

America needs to move forward. With a renewed and redefined patriotism, the United States can be set on a path away from polarization and marginalization, and on one towards an honest greatness that includes and celebrates cultural and ideological diversity. It is not wrong to love and fight for America’s potential, because our greatness lies not in our past, but in our future. _______________________________ Isabel Brooke is a first-year exploratory major looking to explore alternative ways to be patriotic. You can email them at ibrooke@ithaca.edu.

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News & Views

016’s turbulent and polarizing election has led to a United States that feels more broken than united. Rifts have deepened, tensions have heightened and identity politics have led to othering and an unwillingness to engage in productive discourse. Opinions on every side have morphed into “alternative facts.”

This division is, in part, an unfortunate byproduct of an election that presented voters with candidates that were opposites in many ways.

Caustic versus tempered, outsider versus establishment, impulsive solutions versus incrementalism, regression versus progression; the list goes on. They were similar only in their unpopularity.

To many, Trump represented change. Many did not eagerly cast their vote for him, but his 140-character solutions, incessant use of superlatives, dismissal of political correctness (also known, in some cases, as basic respect), and debilitating lack of experience represented a shake-up the likes of which seemed impossible with an establishment figure like Clinton. And it is not controversial to say that he is shaking up our political landscape; it is an understatement.

At four weeks in, the Pew Research Center found Trump’s approval rating at just 39 percent, a lower number than Obama’s throughout his eight years in office. This disapproval has manifested itself in the form of millions of demonstrators turning out since January 20 to protest his immigration ban, his Supreme Court nominee, his push to repeal the Affordable Care Act and his presidency in general.

The Women’s March in particular eclipsed Trump’s inauguration, as the Washington Post reported that upward of 1 million people gathered across the country and around the world to express their disapproval of America’s new figurehead. The march prioritized issues like reproductive rights, health care, equal pay and action on climate change.

While this agenda is admirable, David Brooks of the New York Times ar-

Errors in Terror?

Uncertainty in Trump’s counterterrorism policy

By Chris Jones, Contributing Writer

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

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n Jan. 29, nine days after his inauguration, President Donald J. Trump’s administration embarked on its first special operations mission. This mission, a descendant in the long lineage of the post-World War II policies of United States military interventionism, is now a topic of much debate. The operation, intended to kill Al-Qaeda militants, occurred in the town of Yakla in Bayda Province, Yemen. Thirty-six year old Navy Seal William Owens was killed and several other Seals were wounded during the operation. According to Al-Jazeera’s interviews with Yakla locals, at least 16 civilians were also killed in the skirmish. The Trump administration’s press secretary Sean Spicer called the raid “absolutely a success” in his Feb. 8 press conference and later in the same conference suggested to state otherwise is a “disservice” to the operative’s memory. Arizona Senator John McCain called the mission a “failure” only to retract his statement after criticism.

After more than a year of vitriolic rhetoric and political pandering, the world was stunned by the election of Trump — a former real estate broker and reality television host.

Trump ran on a variety of policy promises, but one of his most obvious and influential was his promise to defeat “radical Islamic terrorism” and specifically ISIL, or the Islamic State. Since Trump’s inauguration, many have remained watchful of his foreign policy, and curious to the extent he will advance the hawkish militarism he embraced in his campaign. The raid in Yemen seems to be an extension of this militaristic rhetoric and policy.

Sean Spicer, White House press secretary, attempted to label the Yemen operation as Obama administration leftover, one that was organized and discussed by the administration before its exit on Jan.

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20. However, this was debated in a series of Tweets by former officials Colin Kahl and Ned Price — who verified that Yemen was a theatre in the Obama administration’s war on terror — but disputed the notion that the mission was ordered before Trump’s ascension. Kahl, former national security advisor to Joe Biden, Tweeted, “In a nutshell, Trump and his team owns the process and the ultimate decision and the consequences.”

The raid in Yemen is one of many points of uncertainty in the unraveling of Trump’s counterterrorism policy. The Yemen raid, although labeled a success by the White House, was rebuked by the recognized Yemeni government; according to Reuters, when President Mansour Hadi met with the U.S ambassador to Yemen, he “made clear his reservations about the problems with the last operation.” In other areas of the region are prominent questions surrounding other American geopolitical hotspots; Israel, Iran and Syria played heavily into Trumps policy goals and rhetoric. Trump has continually denounced the groundbreaking accord signed to limit Iran’s ability for nuclear proliferation, calling it “a really bad deal.” This comes at a time when many nuclear scientists have signed a letter in protest of his dismantlement of the accord.

Christopher Hardaway, a former Foreign Service officer who served in Afghanistan, described these ground operations as inept in countering terrorism. “It is difficult to determine how President Trump will utilize military forces,” he said. “He may have to double its size to achieve, rather poorly, the same footprint we have now through international engagement… It is yet to be seen if President Trump will recognize that terrorism is a complex problem to be addressed with multi-faceted solutions, rather than a nail to be hammered by the military.”

In the Levant, Trump has appointed David Friedman, a bankruptcy

lawyer, the Ambassador to Israel — possibly the most important ambassadorship in American hegemony. Israel has received $38 billion in a military aid package over the past 10 years, representing U.S. interests in the region. Friedman has little political experience and has already challenged the future of a two-state solution, immediately questioning the dominant narrative guiding the Palestinian and Israeli peace process. The New York Times quoted Friedman as saying, “There has never been a two-state solution — only a ‘two state narrative.’”

Matthew Evangelista, a professor of comparative politics at Cornell University, described the move as misguided. “It could, however, have implications for the behavior of many states in the region and beyond, because the US rhetorical support for a two-state solution was a fig leaf behind which their governments could hide, especially if their citizens demanded more support for Palestinian rights. Now governments such as Saudi Arabia’s might have to find new justifications for going along with United States policy. The outcome would not obviously be good for Israel either, even if its current government seems to think so.”

Trump issued an executive order calling for a federal immigration order to temporarily halt all people from seven Muslim-majority states from entering the United States.

This executive order affects states, that per the Cato Institute’s Alex Nowrasteh have accounted for zero terrorism related deaths between 1975 and 2015. __________________________________ Chris Jones is a second-year politics major with complete competence with consonance. You can email them at cjones@ithaca.edu.

Wishy-Washy White House Trump’s administration remains inconsistent about gay marriage

By Meredith Nash, Staff Writer

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In 2011, he blatantly stated, “I am not in favor of gay marriage,” there’s no reading in between the lines for that statement.

Again in 2015 he said, “I am very much for traditional marriage,” a little less blunt, but regardless his both conservative and Christian views taint his ability to support such equality.

I then took to trusty Google and got a mixture of answers to my question of his stance. Some headlines implied Trump was supportive of gay marriage; one article I found was called “Trump Says He’s Fine with Legalization of Same-Sex Marriage.”

I’m not exactly sure if this can be deemed “fake news,” but Trump mostly said that he tries to separate his political and personal views.

Okay, Mr. Traditionalist, whatever you say.

Due to all these red flags, I can’t help but be worried about the future of our rights.

My next step to further investigate the topic brought me to Ithaca’s Luca Maurer, the Program Director for the Center for LGBT Education Outreach and Services. Ithaca has many different clubs and organizations having to do with one mission: to make all LGBTQ students at Ithaca feel all the more safe and included (not to mention the complete opposite of Trump and Pence). Some of these include Spectrum and Prism.

When asking Luca about his opinion on the circumstances surrounding the presidential election, he said: “As I’m sure you’ve already found, each of their actions, as illustrated in previous elected life for Pence in

Illustrated by Alexa Salvato Indiana and his actions there, in terms of specifically stated sections of the current administration party’s platform that are anti-LGBTQ, and in terms of swift moves the current administration is making that will both directly and indirectly serve to make it increasingly difficult for LGBTQ people to enjoy the same rights and protections their heterosexual, cisgender peers do with ease and without government interference speak for themselves.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

All this being said, not everyone shares the same views. Living in a rather safe, inclusive, and liberal environment has given me many opportunities others may never receive, but I just hope Donald Trump doesn’t eliminate that privilege for me as well as others. Gay marriage is not the church’s, government’s, or anyone else’s business except for the two parties involved. Love will always be love.

_____________________________ Meredith Nash is a first-year writing major who thinks gay marriage should stop being used as a political pawn. You can email them at mnash2@ithaca.edu.

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News & Views

n the past year of my life, LGBTQ rights have become an essential part of my being.

I just recently started coming out to my family, friends and peers. Accepting the fact you’re something you never thought you’d be is hard in itself, not to mention all the stereotypes, discrimination and fear that come with being gay. That being said, I care a lot about what our president and government have in store for these rights — my rights.

When Trump was elected, I was shocked. But the more my family members talked it out with me I realized that we have no other choice but to allow him to be our president. He is our president, but that doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything he pushes to be passed, including the many executive orders he’s already created.

To begin, Donald Trump’s vice president, Mike Pence, signed a religious freedom law in Indiana back in 2015. This law allows discrimination of any LGBTQ person under the idea that is protected by religion. He repeatedly called gay couples a “societal collapse” and that God has an idea, and it is not gay marriage. He stated, “Societal collapse was always brought about following an advent of the deterioration of marriage and family.” I could list evidence of his negative attitude towards the LGBTQ community for hours, but I think you get the point.

Ironically enough, I came across an article that read “Donald Trump Will Be The First President to Support Gay Marriage From the Beginning.” Naturally, I jumped to the conclusion that this couldn’t possibly be true. There is always room for improvement — people can change their views — but Trump nearly a year ago seemed to be leaning in the complete opposite direction. I found two videos on YouTube, both interviews, and both asked the controversial question: “Do you support gay marriage?”

Not Your Gringa

This is what a Dominican woman looks like

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BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

By Tatiana Jorio, Seesaw Editor

ven though I’m halfDominican, I’ve never felt half-Dominican.

I’ve always just felt Dominican.

There are a set of stereotypes that come with the territory of being a Latina woman that include but are not limited to: being a good dancer, being carefree, having a thick accent, being promiscuous (whatever that means), being sassy and loud… the list goes on.

Unfortunately, there is an inaccurate list of stereotypes for every race and/or culture that do not define the people who belong to them.

I have dealt with many people who tell me, “I don’t look Dominican” or “sound Spanish,” because they have preconceived ideas of what it means to look or sound Hispanic.

I have zero sense of rhythm, no accent and like anyone, sometimes nerves get the best of me — but these things don’t make me any less Dominican.

Not knowing the words to every bachata or merengue song doesn’t make me any less Dominican. I have started to realize that I have every right to call people out for what they say to me.

1. Gringa My first time being called a gringa was by Dominican teenagers who didn’t think I spoke Spanish.

Though I grew up in New York City, Spanish was my first language and I speak it fluently. There is a common misconception that you aren’t really Latinx if you can’t speak Spanish.

This is untrue, especially in a world that values English above all other languages and makes Latinxs feel embarrassed when they have any sign of an accent.

When someone tells you they are from a Spanish-speaking country, and you ask them if they speak Spanish, don’t assume whether they do or don’t makes them any less Latinx, or disconnected from their culture. Or that because they don’t speak Spanish, they haven’t experienced life differently as a minority.

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Since I was a baby, I spent almost every summer in the Dominican Republic. When I was younger I spoke Spanish to my family there all of the time, but as I got older, I found myself hesitant. Even though I was fluent, I became embarrassed that I might not roll my ‘R’s the way they did, or misuse Dominican slang.

And so, to some of my cousins, I became a “gringa.”

I wish I told those who had called me gringa that I was raised by a Dominican woman by my Dominican mother. That although I dress differently and sound differently than they do, I am still no one’s gringa.

The unfortunate part about most of the times I have been referred to as a gringa is that it has been mainly by other Latinos. I wish it wasn’t other Latinos who, at times, have made me feel less Dominican.

Please don’t show me how to “move my hips like a Dominican” — any way I move my hips is like a Dominican, because I am a Dominican woman.

2) Can you teach me Spanish?

No. I mean yes — I probably could teach you how to speak Spanish.

But this is not what you should say to someone when you learn they’re Hispanic. This is what everyone says to me when they learn I’m Dominican.

Please do not romanticize my language or my culture.

Do not tell me it is “so cool” or “sexy” that I can speak a second language that you wish you knew — it is how I grew up. Don’t reduce me to the Sexy Latina stereotype.

Please don’t attempt to flirt with someone who is Latinx by asking them to teach you Spanish. Sure, I can totally teach you Spanish, but when you learn I speak Spanish, please try to resist being fascinated or excited.

3. Wait, you’re Dominican? (they ask in a puzzled tone of voice) This is usually followed up with “I know you had an exotic look to you, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint it.”

Please don’t play a guessing game with my ethnicity.

Or, “But you don’t look or sound Spanish” to which I ask, what is a person who speaks Spanish supposed to look or sound like?

Now I feel like I have to prove my identity to you, saying, “My mom was born there, I go there every summer, Spanish was my first language” — in run-on sentences.

It’s not lost on me that because “I don’t look Latina” to many people, I have privilege. Although I have experienced things differently because I am a Dominican woman, it was not nearly to the extent of other women who have been labeled as sex symbols or unprofessional because of an accent or “looking Latinx.”

It’s great that I feel confident enough in my Dominican skin to correct people who make these remarks, but ultimately I shouldn’t have to.

No one should be made to feel like they are not “Latinx enough.” I am a Dominican woman, and no one will ever make me feel like I am anything less, or succeed in an attempt to disconnect me from my culture.

________________________________ Tatiana Jorio is a second-year film, photography and visual arts major who’s so over these misconceptions.

You can email them at tjorio@ithaca.edu.

No Ban, No Wall No human being is illegal

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By Katie Siple, Web Editor

anger they feel and channel it in productive ways like rallying, writing to representatives and standing up against injustices we see in our daily lives.

“The more you talk about it, the more you communicate it, change comes to the forefront of people’s minds. We need to go out and talk to the people who can make change,” Mike Moritz, secondyear environmental studies major, said. Moritz is one of the founders of IC Futures club, one of many useful platforms on campus that cultivates passion for changing the world.

It is important that we continue to stand up against injustice. This immigration ban is unjust because a majority of people who immigrate to the U.S. do so for survival or to try to have a better life. People often tend to forget about injustices such as the immigration ban because it doesn’t directly affect them. To others who have witnessed the effects of the immigration ban, it is devastating to watch and even more difficult to forget.

“People can’t just forget. These are people’s lives. America is home for all of us. We need to take care of it and make sure that it’s not ruined,” Maria Bushby, a first-year English major, said. Bushby is one of the coordinators of the event and said she has seen firsthand the stress this has brought to her friends and family.

Some IC students still believe in our governmental system despite the controversial issues and bans like the immigration ban that are currently being brought up for debate. This is supposedly the first of many proposals aimed at making America safe again, according to President Donald Trump: “We are going to do whatever’s necessary to keep our country safe,” he said.

With an unsure future ahead of

“There’s no way any of us can make a difference in our own country if we’re shutting people away...” us, we manage to find comfort and bravery in solidarity. Perhaps this is a positive side effect of our generation — we were raised in a world where we learned about peaceful, powerful people like Martin Luther King Jr., Eleanor Roosevelt, Maya Angelou and countless others who taught us change is possible through perseverance.

Raquel Belkin, a fourth-year writing major who created the hashtag ICWelcomesEveryone, said: “I’m optimistic because the system is supposed to change, adapt and listen to our voice. Shutting people out isn’t the way to make peace and it isn’t the way to make the world a better place. It’s a way to create more hatred.” ___________________________________ Katie Siple is a second-year integrated marketing communications major who welcomes everyone with open arms except Donald Trump’s policies. You can email them at ksiple@ithaca.edu.

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News & Views

n Feb. 10 at 3 p.m., Ithaca College students banded together at free speech rock to rally against the anti-immigration ban. About 40 students gathered outside Phillips Hall to protest Donald Trump’s proposed immigration ban against immigrants entering the U.S. According to The New York Times, the ban would bar “for 90 days people from seven predominantly Muslim countries from entering the United States… It also bans all refugees for 120 days, and Syrian refugees indefinitely.” This ban encompasses thousands of visitors, students, workers, new immigrants and refugees from being in the U.S. It is extremely controversial whether or not a president should have the power to enact this ban. As Katherine Faulders and Alexander Mallin wrote for ABC News: “[Trump] and his administration have argued repeatedly that the first order falls within the president’s authority to ban any class of aliens deemed a potential threat to the security of the United States.”

IC students could not keep silent on this immigration ban. Students passionately chanted, “This is what democracy looks like,” as fellow IC community members stood up to speak their thoughts, sing their emotions and express their feelings through powerful poetry.

“There’s no way any of us can make a difference in our own country if we’re shutting people away and only being selective because I firmly believe immigration is based on white fascism,” Clare Nowalk, a first-year English and culture and communication double major, who was one of the head organizers of the event, said.

The message was clear — now is the time to stand up and not back down. This immigration ban may just be the first of many injustices we may face in upcoming years.

Speakers urged listeners to take the

A Reason to Rally

One writer reflects on the Boston health care rally

By Mila Phelps-Friedl, Staff Writer

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party looking to bolster the profits of insurance and pharmaceutical companies. According to CNN journalist Tami Luhby, “Under Obamacare, senior citizens pay less for Medicare coverage and for their prescription drugs. Many Americans have received free contraceptives, mammograms, colonoscopies and cholesterol tests. And small business employers with older and sicker workers have not been slapped with super-high premiums.” Take what you will from her description of the health care policy, but repealing this act truly does affect a massive amount of people.

On Jan. 12, three days before the rally I attended, the predominantly Republican senate voted 51 to 48 for a restructured budget that would help bolster the legislation for the repeal of key provisions offered by Obamacare. At the time of publication, Trump has been in office for 36 days, and in that time period he has followed through with his intent to repeal the ACA. On Jan. 15, Washington Post’s Robert Costa and Amy Goldstein published one of the last articles that mentions Trump’s plan for health care after the repeal of the ACA. It quotes him promising, “‘insurance for everybody,’ while also vowing to force drug companies to negotiate directly with the government on prices in Medicare and Medicaid.” Accord-

ing to The New York Times editorial board, “Congress blew past a selfimposed Jan. 27 deadline to introduce legislation to end the health law. Mr. Trump told FOX News in an interview that ran Sunday that a replacement for the health law might not be ready until next year.” Much like a lot of things in Trump’s presidency, it seems that the guarantee of health care lies in the balance of whenever Trump actually figures out to handle his job as President.

Power should not be measured by how you help those like you, but how you help those with less than you. How Trump deals with his newfound power, specifically when it comes to a government service that affects so many people, is going to be incredibly telling about what kind of president we are going to be looking at for the next four years. ___________________________________ Mila Phelps-Friedl is a second-year journalism major who doesn’t let the cold stop her from standing up against Trump’s policies. You can email them at mphelpsfriedl@ithaca.edu.

Photo by Mila Phelps-Friedl

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

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n Jan. 15, 2017, my mother, my stepdad and I bundled up against the formidable chill and made our way from the 77 bus route through the crowds on the redline train from Alewife station. We followed the flow of impassioned people carrying signs and chanting in unison, and they led us along the stretches of Boston’s historic streets. Despite the cold on this January day, enough people lined the streets to fill the entire cobblestoned square of Faneuil hall. They, like us, came to hear speeches from members of the Massachusetts delegation, including the likes of Senators Elizabeth Warren and Ed Markey discuss the ramifications of the Republican party’s initial actions to repeal the Affordable Care Act. Going to this rally was incredibly empowering. From where I stood in the crowd, there were people of all ages, ethnicities and brands of winter jackets. They held signs and cheered each other on, and the energy when “headliner” Elizabeth Warren took the stage was electrifying. “Donald Trump and the Republican leadership are marshaling their forces to destroy health care in America,” she said. “It’s up to us to fight back.” As Warren spoke of the fight ahead, her voice resounded off of the historic buildings lining the square — you couldn’t help but feel like you were a part of something so much larger than yourself, even if all you were doing was listening.

Senator Ed Markey took the stage and, after a few jokes about the Patriots, he proclaimed to the crowd, “We are not just any state… We are Massachusetts. Massachusetts will not sit on the sidelines as the future of democracy hangs in the balance.

This is where the American Revolution began!”

Massachusetts health care first aligned with the ACA in 2010, and now many of the programs that have helped so many millions of people are coming under the scrutiny of a

From the Ground Up

The future of public education

By Alexa Salvato, News & Views Editor

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eading the beginning of Diane Ravitch’s Reign of Error over the last few weeks has been almost eerie. As a current journalism student passionate about education, I pitched my idea for an independent study about education journalism way back during the Obama administration. Ravitch’s complex criticism of profiteers calling themselves education reformers — who she calls “corporate reformers” — strike a nerve when considering the early 2017 cabinet confirmation hearings.

The first few chapters of the 2013 book are about topics cycling prominently in this winter’s news cycle: the business ties of many corporate reformers, why to be wary of calls for school privatization and how statistics about America’s public school students are often mangled and misinterpreted by both journalists and news media. Ravitch writes: “‘Reform’ is really a misnomer, because the advocates for this cause seek not to reform public education but to transform it into an entrepreneurial sector of the economy.” Sound familiar?

Flipping through the pages of this book on the day that her hearing was delayed in a moment of temporary joy, Ravitch’s words call someone obvious to mind: newly confirmed Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos. DeVos’s support of school vouchers and her lack of experience in the public sector have left many wary of her abilities, but it’s not just her history that’s concerning; it’s what she’s been saying just in the past few weeks. In a country where millions of kids depend on free school lunch to make it through the day, her joke at a recent conference that she was “perhaps the first person to tell Bernie Sanders to his face that there’s no such thing as a free lunch” was more than inappropriate. And of course, as Valerie Strauss writes for the Washington Post: “DeVos re-

fused to agree with a Democrat that schools are no place for guns, citing one school that needs one to protect against grizzly bears. (She really said this).”

Someone who thinks it’s casual to joke about a “free lunch” when they’re the brand-new leader of public education demonstrates a

instead of bursting as the media might imply. According to Ravitch, between 2002 and 2011, the reading gap between white and black students went from 30 points to 25 points, and the math gap from 31 to 25 points. There is ample room for improvement, but this also demonstrates that the “achievement gap” can’t be used as proof that our public schools are failing.

Statistically, it’s one thing that’s going well.

Systemic classism and racism, Ravitch continues, can’t be fixed by one well-meaning teacher or even a whole determined district. But it can be helped by better resourced community institutions. She paraphrases Thomas B. Timar from the University of California: “What’s missing from reform, he says, is an appreciation for the value of local and regional efforts, the small-scale programs that rely on local initiative for implementation. Without local initiative, reform cannot succeed.”

Top-down policy is seldom effective. And I can’t imagine it leading to community success: How could we expect it to work in local public education, where we’re building our kids, and our communities, from the ground up?

“It seems unrealistic to expect DeVos to do any work for justice in her role when she implies a basic ignorance of accessibility to education.” clear lack of understanding of how justice plays into the education system. All education reformers, regardless of their true motives, claim to have the same goal of “closing the achievement gap.” That’s because that goal is, hypothetically, awesome. Not just corporate reformers want to close that gap — so do most elected officials and pretty much every educator I’ve ever met.

It seems unrealistic to expect DeVos to do any work for justice in her role when she implies a basic ignorance of accessibility to education.

Because, as those who work with children know, the “achievement gap” doesn’t start when a kid walks into kindergarten. For years before that, different children in that same class had different access to healthy food, a stable living environment, educated adults in their family and different enrichment activities. Most of the time, racial and/or class disparity accounts for the varied access.

And yes, there’s still an achievement gap — but as Ravitch enumerates, the gap has gotten slightly smaller since the new millennium,

Adapted from a post on the writer’s blog. __________________________________ Alexa Salvato is a fourth-year journalism major who wants her future kindergarteners to have better role models than Betsy DeVos. You can email them at asalvat1@ithaca.edu.

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#ProtectTransYouth Rollback on transgender civil rights endangers youth

By John Jacobson, Social Media Editor

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

I

n the tumult of Donald Trump’s presidency, transgender people are being thrown to the wolves.

The most recent battle between the Trump administration and transgender rights, as of the writing of this piece, was the pullback on Title IX protections for transgender students regarding bathroom usage in local schools. The protections were set in place by the Obama administration and allowed trans students to use bathrooms in schools under Title IX based on their gender identity.

With the loss of these protections, the trans community faces a blow against our civil rights, civil rights that we’ve been gaining on shaky, uncertain ground over the past few decades. The reported reluctance of Betsy DeVos, a controversial rightwing figure in her own right, to sign off on removing these protections is a telling sign of how damaging they can be.

Trans rights for students and adults alike have been an ongoing conversation for our country in recent years because of trans visibility. We have only recently been given a platform to exist in the eyes of society, let alone the ability to exist with any sense of “equality.”

We, in this case, being transgender, non-binary, agender, gender queer, two-spirit and third-gender folx. Despite the fact that trans identities and experiences have existed historically, both in and out of Western colonial contexts, for centuries, our civil rights are tenuous in the best of circumstances.

The absence of these protections creates an environment that allows trans people, particularly trans youth, to be viewed as unworthy of respectable humanity. According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey conducted by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 77 percent of students out or perceived as trans in K-12 schools experienced a form of mistreatment based on their

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trans identity. Twenty-four percent were physically attacked; 13 percent were sexually assaulted and more than half (54 percent) were verbally assaulted.

The same survey also noted that 17 percent experienced such high levels of mistreatment that they chose to leave a K-12 school. This means that the harassment is so great that trans students either have to move to another K-12 school, seek out alternative schooling or leave the educational system completely. The choice that is made here is also contextualized by whether or not those students have support at home to continue their education.

Janet Mock, a black Hawaiian transgender activist, discussed the same topic in a recent opinion piece in The New York Times. “When trans students are told that they cannot use public facilities, it doesn’t only block them from the toilet — it also blocks them from public life,” Mock wrote.

It’s a fundamental truth. Being able to use a public space is about being able to exist in a society as a whole. If someone cannot pee in a public restroom, they will avoid going to the bathroom even if they need it. If they get health complications from consistent lack of going to the bathroom, they are likely to be discriminated against in the healthcare system. If they are discriminated in the health care system, they are unlikely to go to a doctor for assistance.

If they leave medical issues untreated by conventional doctors, they may run the risk of dying or creating more severe health complications.

The domino effect is apparent, and it only grows more and more likely when said trans youth are affected by poverty, when they are of color, when they have disabilities, and when they are of mixed documentation. Trans youth, especially trans girls of color, are at a great risk for being wiped out of our society.

These civil rights are being challenged again by the case of Gavin

Grimm, a 16-year-old trans boy who is being represented by the American Civil Liberties Union in his case to use the bathroom based on his gender identity. The case is set to go to the Supreme Court, which currently has eight seated judges. Right now, with trans rights being a hotly debated topic even amongst the political left, there is no guarantee that Grimm’s case will pull forward in the favor of trans people.

Trans youth need to be protected.

Educators need to come to their aid where DeVos did not by supporting their right to use the bathroom of their choosing. Politicians need to support legislation that improves the civil liberties of trans people and block legislation that limits those liberties. Everyday citizens need to protect trans people in their lives, and keep special attention on trans youth that may not have access and resources to methods of survival.

Surviving in this world is a privilege. A 2016 study from the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center found that 30 percent of trans youth have reported having at least one suicide attempt and 42 percent report a history of selfharm. Trans youth do not currently have the tools to survive in the U.S. Unless we fight Trump’s administration, the trans community will be on the verge of total destruction.

We have to dedicate ourselves to the survival of trans people, not just the survival of our country. ________________________________ John Jacobson is a fourth-year integrated marketing communications major who wants all people to feel they have the right to basic survival.

You can reach them at jjacobs1@ithaca.edu.

News & Views

13

Internship Insincerity

The hypocrisy of ‘progressive’ but low paid internships

By Celisa Calacal, Staff Writer, and Evan Popp, Unfront Editor

BUZZSAW: The Glue Issue

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little over $50 mil- issue on both sides of the aisle, with The full-time work requirement lion. That’s how much conservative think tanks and politi- also made it difficult for interns to revenue the Center cal organizations also often paying find a second job to bring in extra for American Prog- their interns a paltry wage or simply cash and because of the think tank’s ress (CAP) reported not paying them at all. However, it is location, many interns needed more for the year of 2014. extraordinarily hypocritical for a pro- than a $4 an hour salary. In 2016, 175 dollars. That’s the amount of gressive organization like CAP that Washington D.C. was ranked the fifth money per week each of us received favors a higher minimum wage and most expensive city to live in by an while working as full-time interns at claims to advocate for economic jus- Economist Intelligence Unit report.

CAP. When broken down, we were tice to pay its interns just $4 an hour. Duncan Weinstein, another intern each making about $4 an hour — Sydney Pereira, a fellow intern at CAP during the summer of 2016, even though the minimum wage in at ThinkProgress during the sum- said CAP doesn’t pay its interns Washington D.C., where CAP is lo- mer of 2016, said while she appre- enough to live in the nation’s capital. cated, is $11.50. While we both also ciated that CAP’s pay was better “It’s not enough to live on and … received a generous $350 stipend than what many interns are paid for people like me who are from othfrom the Park Center for Indepen- — nothing at all — it was frustrat- er places, I had to use my own savdent Media, that still didn’t bring us ing to not be paid a living wage. She ings or ask my parents for money to even close to making minimum wage. said the pay was particularly aggra- be able to make that work,” he said.

CAP is an ostensibly progressive vating given CAP’s outspoken supSome organizations that have think tank founded in 2003 by John port for upping the minimum wage. been called out for not paying inPodesta, the chairman of terns minimum wage Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presargued they sim“I feel like I was doing basically what a have idential campaign and the ply can’t afford such star of a Wikileaks email full-time employee was doing — at least expenses because of release. Along with Podesta, budget constraints. many CAP employees — in- a part-time employee — and I wasn’t be- While being a small cluding President and CEO ing compensated as I should have.” budget organization Neera Tanden — have deep doesn’t necessarily ties to the Democratic Party. excuse not paying inAs interns working for terns well, CAP is any“You’re asking people to work 40- thing but a shoestring operation.

ThinkProgress, an editorially independent news site housed at CAP, plus hours a week for $4 an hour,” The organization has a budget in the we wrote several articles on a weekly she said. “And I find it completely millions each year and receives genbasis, conducted research and tran- contradictory to everything progres- erous donations from deep-pocketed scribed interviews — tasks full-time sive institutions [advocate for].” Democrats. Tanden alone was paid reporters in the same office also Additionally, as summer interns $301,274 during the 2014 calendar did. While there were distinctions at CAP, we were expected to work year, according to CAP’s 990 form. between interns and staffers, the full-time. That means CAP interns Ross Eisenbrey, vice president of amount of work interns contribut- contributed heavily to the think the Economic Policy Institute — a ed to the site was not insignificant. tank’s operations but were paid far left-wing think tank — said large orCAP bills itself as an organization less than our contributions were ganizations like CAP have no excuse dedicated to “improving the lives of worth. For example, Lee Mengitsu, a for paying interns a paltry wage. all Americans, through bold, pro- summer 2016 CAP intern, said the “CAP is a 20 million dollar a year gressive ideas.” In that spirit, it amount of work she was doing — es- or 40 million dollar a year operastrongly supports initiatives like sentially being the only person doing tion,” he said. “A lot of money flows raising the minimum wage. Despite video work on her team — was not through that place and a lot of peothis, CAP does not pay its own in- reflected in the money she received. ple are paid pretty well, and there’s “All of that responsibility was on no reason on earth that interns terns even close to a minimum wage, asking them to survive on just $4 me,” she said. “So I feel like I was couldn’t be paid a minimum wage.” an hour. CAP did not respond to a doing basically what a full-time emrequest for comment on whether it ployee was doing — at least a partbelieves interns deserve a fair wage. time employee — and I wasn’t beTo be fair, low intern wages are an ing compensated as I should have.”

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CAP is not the only culprit

terns at least a minimum wage.

However, these organizations aren’t the norm. Too many progressive groups don’t practice what they preach when it comes to intern labor, instead taking advantage of the pressure students feel to get an internship.

One example of this is Kaitlin Logsdon, a senior communication, management and design major at Ithaca College who interned at what she described as a progressive organization focused on sustainability efforts. She said she felt obligated to take that internship even though it paid less than minimum wage. (Logsdon declined to name the organization she interned for.)

“I felt like I had to take that internship in the city because of what’s pushed within our major — that you need to do an internship in the city in order to make those connections,” she said.

Unpaid internships While CAP and other progressive organizations hypocritically ignore their own edicts by not paying a minimum wage, there are many in the intern economy who have it worse, receiving no pay at all.

Unpaid internships have become increasingly prevalent across many industries, Sheryl Swingley, a journalism instructor at Ball State University and former internship coordinator at the institution, said.

“Part of it was due to the fact that we had the Great Recession — that didn’t help things,” she said. “When we went through that, people who had paid [their interns] quit paying during that time. And then afterward they didn’t start paying again.”

Eric Glatt, a participant in the group Intern Labor Rights, said the number of unpaid interns is an elusive number because when the Bureau of Labor Statistics does population surveys of the workforce, it doesn’t ask whether interns are paid or unpaid.

The best estimate, he said, comes from the book Intern Nation: How to Earn Nothing and Learn Little in the Brave New Economy by Ross Perlin.

In the book, Glatt said Perlin estimates the number of unpaid interns each year to be one or two million.

Swingley said every organiza-

tion should pay its interns because not paying them is illegal. And in fact, Glatt said even interns who are paid, but at below minimum wage, have a legitimate legal case against employers. However, he said in addition to the courts, students should push their colleges and universities to provide for more oversight of internship programs.

“There’s a built in challenge for students who do oppose this in principle, which is most of the students are in a position to try to push their schools for change,” he said.

When it comes to unpaid internships, however, Glatt said small organizations without much revenue that can’t afford to pay their interns should call their internships what they really are.

“If you’re a non-profit and your reason for having people work for you unpaid is simply that you need the extra labor and you don’t have the budget for it and your mission is worthwhile, I think it’s a mistake to call it an internship,” he said.

“Call it what it is : volunteering.”

However, organizations that use unpaid intern labor would likely argue that unpaid internships are permissible under the Department of Labor’s six criteria for a legal unpaid internship.

But Swingley said organizations aren’t fulfilling these benchmarks.

She said the criteria are that the internship must be similar to training in an educational environment; the intern experience has to be for the benefit of the intern; the intern can’t displace regular employees; the employer must not gain any immediate benefit from the intern and in some cases is actually impeded by them; the intern can’t be guaranteed a job after their internship is over; and the employer and the intern must both understand there is no monetary compensation involved.

Swingley said whether employers fulfill the first three criteria is questionable. But she said the fourth criterion — that the employer doesn’t gain any immediate benefit from the intern and its operations are in some cases impeded by the intern — is laughable.

“I have never had an employer

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News & Views

It’s important to note CAP is not the only progressive organization paying its interns below minimum wage.

Left-wing organizations such as the Democratic National Committee, the National Employment Law Project, Planned Parenthood, Emily’s List, the American Civil Liberties Union, the National Organization for Women, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and Americans for Democratic Action either do not pay their interns or pay them below minimum wage.

Each of these organizations supports an increase in the minimum wage. And each, similar to CAP, is not a small operation. They have large budgets and are not suffering from financial hardships that would prevent them from being able to compensate interns fairly.

Many progressive politicians also don’t adequately pay their interns.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), a progressive superstar and an ardent supporter of raising the minimum wage, does not guarantee her interns a fair wage. Students who are not receiving academic credit or outside funding are eligible for a stipend, not the fair compensation that is reflective of Warren’s own political views.

Hillary Clinton, who in her campaign supported raising the minimum wage to $12 an hour, did not pay the interns who worked for her.

And most members of Congress who support a minimum wage hike don’t pay their interns, according to a USA Today article from July 2015. The White House also has unpaid internships, despite the fact that President Barack Obama supports raising employees’ pay.

Progressive journalism outlets also offer low paid internships. Publications such as The American Prospect, The Indypendent and In These Times have championed labor rights while not paying their interns at all or offering only a stipend below what they advocate other employers pay workers.

But not all progressive organizations forget their principles when it comes to interns. The Nation, the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Brennan Center for Justice — to name a few — all pay their in-

call me up and say, ‘We want an intern, we know how much trouble they are. We know that they’re probably going to cause us to miss a deadline,’” Swingley said.

“No, it’s always the other direction. ‘We need an intern because we have all this work that needs to be done and we need the help.’”

The race and class dynamics of internships

BUZZSAW: The Glue Issue

The consequences of unpaid or underpaid internships have become apparent. These kinds of internships are difficult for young adults from low-income backgrounds to take, which perpetuates the insidious cycle of inequality in this country.

Many internship opportunities, particularly those in politics, policy and communications, are located in metropolitan areas such as Los Angeles, New York City and Washington, D.C. — places that have high costs of living. And for college students or recent college graduates looking for internships in these areas, an unpaid or sub-minimum wage internship makes it virtually impossible to feasibly support themselves on a daily basis for several months. Those who aren’t of a middle, upper middle or high economic class, or whose families can’t afford to provide them financial assistance, often can’t take such opportunities.

Mengitsu ties the ability to take unpaid or underpaid internships like those at CAP or elsewhere to privilege. She said she could intern at CAP and live in D.C. because of her access to many resources that other qualified students may not have had. Mengitsu added that many in the summer 2016 CAP intern class

things,” she said. “But a lot of well-deserving students could’ve been there but weren’t able to because of the pay.”

Pereira said this continuing trend of unpaid or underpaid internships disproportionately impacts people of color whose parents may not have the means to cover their rent or pay for their groceries. She said this puts these young people of color at a disadvantage when trying to enter the professional workforce, leading to a lack of diversity in those spaces.

“If they are just as smart and just as capable and can’t take the internship, you’re putting them at a disadvantage,” she said. “Because they have to go to industries where they will get paid, and then you’re keeping people of color out of lower-paid industries.”

Nonprofits are one example of this, as such organizations are not known for their high pay and subsequently have a lack of diversity. A study conducted by the Diversity Journal in 2010 showed that only 18 percent of staff in nonprofit organizations are people of color. The same problem exists in the media industry as well. According to the Radio Television Digital News Association, in 2014 only 22.4 percent of television reporters were people of color. Newspapers were not much better — minorities made up just 12.76 percent of the staff in 2015, according to the American Society of News Editors.

Unpaid or underpaid internships push out these students, instead favoring those who can afford to shell out thousands of dollars to live in the expensive cities where many internships are located. In the case of government internships, Eisenbrey said unpaid or underpaid internships in the government sector can

“According to the Radio Television Digital News Association, in 2014 only 22.4 percent of television reporters were people of color. Newspapers were not much better.” were in similar privileged positions.

“I got the impression that a lot of us were there because we were able to, because we had access to certain

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lead to a government that doesn’t look like the entirety of the U.S. “If those doors aren’t open to

them then we get a non-representative government and that’s a bad thing,” he said.

Congressional representation is still not proportional to the makeup of racial minorities in this country. According to the Pew Research Center, a miniscule 17 percent of Congressional representatives are non-white people of color, even though minorities make up 38 percent of the U.S. population.

Many young adults today are constantly bombarded with professional advice that tells them that experience and connections are key. As a result, internships are promoted as avenues to achieve this experience and these connections. But when people of color and those from lowincome backgrounds cannot afford to take an unpaid internship in an expensive city, Pereira said they are already put at a disadvantage.

And for think tanks like CAP, Glatt said this disadvantage negatively impacts the organization itself.

“That’s a tragedy when it comes to policymaking,” he said. “Because you’re not hearing from the full breadth of the electorate.” ___________________________________ Evan Popp and Celisa Calacal are both third-year journalism majors who go to together much better than progressive organizations and not being compensated. You can contact them at epopp@ithaca.edu and ccalacal@ithaca.edu.

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Water Wars Corporatization Washing Out Human Rights

by Catherine Colgan, Staff Writer

Upfront

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W

ater wars have come a long way from jetting water guns at friends during the summertime. As water grows more scarce, not only does a worldwide impact ensure: a new market is created.

The term water privatization describes the ownership of public water utilities, or “water systems.” The market is tight and exclusive. Those who participate, however, have reaped a large profit from owning or operating water sectors. Two of the main companies, Veolia and Suez, control about 70 percent of the world’s water service market, according to web magazine Solidarity.

Additionally, control of water systems can manifest in many different ways, including mining of aquifers and sources of fresh water, leases that allow for power over the delivery of water systems and gathering of revenues and management of municipal water systems.

Water is the new oil, Fortune magazine declared in regards to its increasing value. The World Bank has predicted that two thirds of the world will experience water shortage by 2025. To make matters worse, the nonprofit sustainability group For the Love Of Water describes many sanitation systems as antiquated and inadequate. To avoid spending the billions of dollars required to update these systems, more and more communities are selling or leasing water systems to private corporations. This method of management fosters appeal in a number of areas for one, placing profit in clean water would reduce the amount of unsanitary water consumed by the public. In addition, putting a price on formally public water attaches a certain responsibility to using the resource: people would be more inclined to take care of the water and make an effort to reduce waste.

Peter Nelson, a professional engineer who has used his work to advocate for privatization, speaks to the

idea that putting a price on water would encourage conservation and better care of the resource. “If you need water, you buy it; if you have water you don’t need, you can sell it.

It becomes a valuable financial commodity; so, you’re disciplined to use it responsibly and take care of it,” Nelson said.

In this sense, state controlled water allows people to be more reckless with their water usage, whereas private ownership would attach a certain consciousness to how water is used.

Along these lines, Ariel Dinar,

$14.2 billion selling 36.5 gallons of water in 2015 according to the International Bottled Water Association; the market is reported to grow about 10 percent each year. The companies with the most profits are familiar to anyone who has walked down the aisle of a grocery store or peered into a vending machine: leading brands include Aquafina, Dasani and Poland Spring.

When it comes to the market, the sector from which bottled water is sold is flawed in many ways. By neglecting the availability of tap water, consumers spend 300 times more money on bottled water instead of simply turning on the faucet, according to Business Insider.

Many argue that bottled water is safer to drink in comparison to tap, but in reality, toxins leaked into bottled water present enough health concerns to replace doubt in public water systems regulated by the Environmental Protection Agency.

In addition, money spent on bottled water far exceeds that of tap, even up to a thousand times over, according to the Food and Water Watch.

Troublingly, the actions of several bottled water brands have shown signs of corruption: in 2015, Nestle came under fire for draining Sacramento aquifers while the rest of California suffered in a drought that is still prevalent today. This is perhaps the most pressing issue when using water as a profit: a fundamental resource is put in jeopardy with the interest of financial gain.

Certainly the privatization of water calls into question the argument that water is a human right and

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

“Two of the main companies, Veolia and Suez, control about 70 percent of the world’s water service market...”

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a professor at UC Riverside with a concentration in water and environmental studies, notes that allowing a single entity to control water may make quality and regulations more manageable.

“It will be easier to regulate one corporation rather than many individual users.” This could be an instance where privatization could potentially facilitate overlooked policies and more when it comes to control over water.

Water systems are not the only venue for control of water. Typically sold using plastic, bottled water also solicits a large sum from annual sales. The industry grossed

“If you need water, you buy it; if you have water you don’t need, you can sell it. It becomes valuable financial commodity; so, you’re disciplined to use it responsibly and take care of it.”

should be available to all regardless of financial ability to pay for it. There have been a number of successful cases of water privatization. When introduced in places like Rwanda and Mozambique, the International Development Association noted that ownership of water has led to improvements in availability, provision and quality of water supply. Despite this, there are many reasons to be wary when considering water privatization, on a retail and a systematic level.

This issue of controlling water systems becomes a central point of contention in water privatization according to the nonprofit organization Water for All. Privatizing water would lead to a nonexistent supply for those who are homeless or otherwise do not have the financial capability to buy a private share of water. Lack of access to clean water plagues 783 million people according to the United Nations and this could affect even more people should water be priced above economic capacity for the impoverished.

By focusing the attention on stockholders, water privatization leads to a lack of accountability for the general public being served. Dinar said that lack of care associated with maintenance leads to adulterated water supply. “If management of water is not regulated by the state or the government, it will lead to deduction in the level of water in the aquifer, and eventually result in lower quality water, which could be a consequence of corporate control,” Dinar said.

In addition, water reserved for private sectors is represented by the National Association of Water Companies, which has been frequently known to lobby Congress and the EPA to refrain from implementing higher water standards.

According to the Food and Water Watch, the process of water privatization also takes a considerable investment of time and finances as contracts, cost overruns, and conversion of workforce begins to take its toll.

Despite the potential in the market for water, there is a way to achieve financial gain while avoiding the detriments of water privatization. In-

stead of complete private ownership over the resource, the concept of public-public partnership, or PUPs, has been introduced as an efficient alternative. Food and Water Watch defines PUPs as a cooperation between public water utilities or nongovernmental organizations, combining resources and supporting a shared capacity. No profits would be involved, but this would take the focus off money that acts as the primary reason for the failure of privatization.

Emanuele Lobina, who has done extensive work on water privatization with the Public Services International Research Unit, said that removing profits is one of the biggest advantages of public-public partnerships.

“Without profits, these partnerships are not forced to focus on making money... this can increase investment and also removes the economic incentives of private sectors.”

Partners would collaborate and use their resources to gain power and technical competence, while creating international collaboration as well as attention to local needs.

The market-based magazine On the Commons reports that public-public

age state ownership over water supply. For one, making an effort to drink tap water is a safe and effective way to bypass expenses given to water corporations. Measures such as buying a filtered water bottle for tap can save up to $1400 a year. In addition, water privatization can be avoided by persuading Congress to seek out alternate methods of water management. The Wisconsin State Journal reported that a bill on privatization was scrapped in 2016; while the bill did not pass, this proves that legal measures are being taken to push privatization of water over state ownership. To help avoid this, adversaries might be compelled to call the Senate or Congress and bring this conversation to the forefront of administrative attention.

The UN declared water to be a human right in 2010. When it comes to one of the world’s most fundamental resources, proper provision and management of water is essential to human survival. In order to preserve quality of life, water corporations ought to stop looking at water as an opportunity for profit and begin recognizing the resource as something entitled to all of us.

“By neglecting the availability of tap water, consumers spend 300 times more money on bottled water instead of simply turning on the faucet...” __________________________ Catherine Colgan is a first-year exploratory major who has led many horses to water albeit them drinking rather slowly. You can reach them at ccolgan@ithaca.edu.

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Upfront

partnerships have exceeded private contractual control of water, comprising a more benign way to manage water. Furthermore, the creation of a Clean Water Trust Fund would allow municipalities to facilitate improvements to infrastructure on old water management systems. This would allow federal funding for the maintenance of water systems and protect the resource against impurities.

Alternatives to water privatization do not have to be so daunting and advanced. Anyone can encour-

“When Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray kissed in A Cinderella Story after it finally rains” - Lexie

“The cool side of the pillow” - Sophie

“When you get home from work and take off your shoes and shove your face into your pet’s fluffiness”

- Megan

“Getting home and drinking three glasses of water and one cup of tea after getting lost in the streets of Paris where street harassment is more than rampant” - Claire

“I think of the word thirsty, as in I’m still in love with my ex and it’s been almost two years. They’re kind of an asshole and even though I’m aware, emotionally I’m still in the same place” - Elena

“When you’ve had to pee forever and then you finally do”

- Alexa

“I am 8 and I am drinking my grandpa’s homemade sour lemonade made from the lemons from his backyard tree!”

- Alexis

We asked the editors...

What does

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Q U E N C H mean to you?

“When you can’t remember someone’s name and then you finally remember it in a totally new/inappropriate setting and feel the need to shout”

- Sophie

“It’s the dream that I had last night: seeing my ex in the Commons and running to him, getting lifted in his arms, and waking up feeling cleaved in two” - John

“11:11” - Tati

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Upfront

P

L. MINISTRYofCOOL. MI BUZZSAW: Dunk Issue

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Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Oscar Who?

A breakdown of how the Academy Awards actually work Alex Coburn, Staff Writer

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difficult. This is also extremely important information to know when considering not only what gets nominated, but also what wins.

So what does get nominated, and how? Well, most people know that the Oscars ceremony takes place in late February, and the prime Oscar bait month is December.

That’s not just a coincidence; it’s extremely calculated. According to the Academy, if a director feels their film has a shot for any Oscar nomination, it is typically released in December because that is when producers must submit an Official Screen Credits (OSC) form in order to be considered. If the film is at least 40 minutes long (excluding the short categories), has been screened in Los Angeles County, and has run for at least seven days, it is put on the ballot.

It’s easy to imagine The Academy choosing its nominees by having all members gather around a huge table in a conference room, but with 6,000 members all across the globe, the selection process is done on a ballot. Members receive the ballots in the mail, and then are allowed to pick their top five nominees for each category. The results are tallied and the responses with the most nominations become the official Oscar nominees.

While this process seems incredibly democratic, it’s a lot more complicated than The Academy’s website would have it appear. While it’s true that anyone that qualifies is able to appear on the ballot, receiving a nomination often comes down to popularity and connections. While indie films will occasionally receive an Oscar nod in one of the minor categories, it is no coincidence that the Oscars often include at least a few financially successful films in most of the major categories.

This is not to say that the films are not picked on merit. But think about the two Best Picture frontrunners for 2016: Moonlight and La La Land. Moonlight can be considered closer to an indie darling, and then, as it began to become more critically-acclaimed and receive Oscar buzz, started to be shown in most major cinemas

across the U.S. However, La La Land was always a blockbuster, grossing close to one million dollars the opening weekend while also being heralded by most critics.

In terms of reviews, both films are considered to be incredibly worthy of the Best Picture win. But La La Land is a nostalgia piece directed by a previously nominated white director, while Moonlight is an indie film with a queer, black protagonist directed by a black man. These factors are central to making Oscar predictions, because the demographics of The Academy matter.

Once the nominees are chosen, the winners are selected in a very similar process. The Academy members have two weeks to pick their choice for the winner in each category, and then the polls are officially closed. The results are calculated in secret by the historic PricewaterhouseCoopers accounting firm. Interestingly enough, it is not required that every Academy member sees every film nominated; therefore, it’s accurate to say that the votes are normally skewed in the more mainstream, financially successful films’ favors. This goes back to the question of La La Land versus Moonlight: Are the majority of old white guys going to take the time to see a love letter to old movie musicals or an indie coming-of-age drama about a black teenager?

While the Oscars have come a long way since its first ceremony in 1929, the awards have been chosen the same way for the past 88 years.

While it’s encouraging to see films like Moonlight get nominated, it’s the La La Land’s of the world that tend to succeed under this system.

So when the distinguished actor in the designer suit stands on stage and says, “The Oscar goes to,” it’s important to remember how these winners were chosen, and how that system benefits movies that fit within the status quo. ___________________________________ Alex Coburn is a first-year cinema and photo major who thinks Sunny Pawar from the film Lion should make the decisions. You can reach them at acoburn@ithaca.edu.

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Ministry of Cool

illustrated by Sophie Israelsohn

ccording to Hollywood Reporter, about 40 million people watch the Oscars each year. And in the weeks leading up to the ceremony, it’s almost impossible to check Twitter without seeing an argument about who will win Best Picture. But the way that Oscar winners are selected is a lot more complicated and systemic than, “The Oscar goes to…” and “I’d like to thank The Academy.”

Who is The Academy? Although the actual members are kept top secret, there are approximately 6,000 members according to The Academy’s website, mostly based in the U.S. These people are all involved in the film industry, as directors, writers, producers, etc., and must be working on the production of theatrically-released films. Within The Academy, there are several branches divided by role.

There is no application to get in. According to The Academy, “The membership process is by sponsorship, not application.

Candidates must be sponsored by two Academy members from the branch to which the candidate seeks admission.”

Additionally, anyone nominated for an Oscar is automatically admitted into The Academy.

Statistically, The Academy is extremely homogeneous. According to The Atlantic, the Academy is 94% white, 76% male, and the average age is 63 years old. This makes sponsorship for women, young people, and people of color extremely

Game On

Top 5 video games to play this semester Segaro Bozart, Contributing Writer

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

G

aming in college can be difficult. Whether you want to binge hours upon hours of Skyrim, or just want something fun to play with your roommate in your spare time, it can be tough watching your beloved console collect dust. Luckily, this spring has a lot to look forward to with great games that could easily fit into any college schedule. While we don’t encourage truancy, here are five games that will make you question how “mandatory” your 8 a.m. attendance is. #1) For Honor (PC, PS4, XB1) - Feb. 14 Ubisoft’s For Honor is a thirdperson multiplayer action game that’s sure to satisfy the inner warlord in us all. Players can choose between three factions — Knights, Vikings and Samurai — and fight in heartracing online medieval battles.

Boasting deep, yet accessible combat, as well as a rewarding loot and armor customization system, For Honor is a game made for blowing off steam, one axe swing at a time.

Your roommate is in class for three hours while you have the day off?

You could sink hours into the story, flesh out the character customization options, or memorize combos for each of the 12 unique fighters, or work your way up the ranks in each of the five multiplayer game modes.

Only have half an hour of free time a week? Hop in and out of games with convenient quick play options.

It’s fun to watch and easy to learn, so don’t be surprised if you end up having to pass the controller off to your friends.

For Honor was released on Feb. 14 on PS4, XBox One, and PC and received positive reviews, scoring a 77 on MetaCritic within a week of it’s release. #2) Horizon: Zero Dawn (PS4) - Feb. 28 Slated to replace the Uncharted franchise as Sony’s next big intellectual property (IP), Horizon: Zero Dawn promises a visually

30

stunning open world full of secrets and excitement. The player will follow Aloy, a young woman inspired by Ygritte from Game of Thrones, as she learns how humanity devolved into a tribal society while enigmatic mechanical behemoths (giant robot dinosaurs) have taken over the reclaimed planet. Find answers as you explore a beautiful open world created by Guerilla Games, the people behind the Killzone franchise. If you have a PS4, you’ve probably already pre-ordered Horizon: Zero Dawn, and if you haven’t, why haven’t you?

There are giant robot dinosaurs!

Horizon: Zero Dawn is the perfect game for anyone looking to escape.

Horizon’s powerful narrative is reinforced through a compelling story, fluid gameplay, and breathtaking visuals. With 30-40 hours of story content, plus countless hours of sidequests, Horizon will be the go-to game to let you forget about the wave of assignments come midterms week.

Should you study? Probably, but Aloy needs to upgrade her bow and that research paper isn’t going help. #3) The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild (Switch, Wii U) - March 3 At the Nintendo Switch Press Event in January, Nintendo finally confirmed that, yes, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild will be available at the Switch’s launch on March 3. Whether you’re looking forward to the next-in-the-line of stellar Zelda games, curious to see how the classic formula fits in an open world, or need something to justify buying a Switch at launch, Breath of the Wild is almost upon us and it looks glorious.

BotW’s main advantage lies in the Switch platform and its versatility in play options. Not only will Zelda look great on your HDTV, but if you play on the Switch, you have the option to take the console to go in its handheld mode. This is perfect for the hour gap between classes. No need to go back to your room; simply find a comfortable spot, plug in headphones and play Nintendo’s next AAA game while you

wait for your next class. Nintendo claims the Switch can get up to three hours of battery life while playing BotW in handheld form, perfect for a long bus ride or a gap in your class schedule. #4) 1-2-Switch (Switch) - March 3 1-2 Switch looks like a combination between Warioware and Wii Sports and it looks interesting to say the least. Making use of the Switch’s JoyCon controllers, 1-2-Switch is a series of wacky mini-games that highlight the HD Rumble feature in each JoyCon. Promoting “Face-to-Face Play”, Nintendo designed 1-2-Switch to be played without focusing on the screen, rather on the other player.

This not only makes for a more personal and competitive party game, but it encourages anyone regardless of gaming experience to jump in and play with friends. #5) Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Wildlands (PC, PS4, XB1) - March 7 The 14th game in Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon series, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Wildlands tasks player to take down the Santa Blanca drug cartel in Bolivia. Whether playing solo with three AI companions or with playing co-op with up to three friends, players will need both intelligent tactics and precise execution to take back the Wildlands in this open world strategic shooter.

Don’t want to go out this weekend?

Party-up with your friends and go on different missions that require thought, reflexes, and cooperation for a clean victory. Ghost Recon is a game for groups of gaming friends looking for consistent co-op fun. ___________________________________ Segaro Bozart is a second-year IMC major who has to analog sticks for thumbs. You can reach them at sbozart@ithaca.edu.

RAW SAW

Paterson

FROM THE

Film Review Tyler Obropta Staff Writer

his daily route, and writes some poetry during lunch. When he gets home, he eats dinner with Laura and walks their troublesome dog Marvin down to the bar, where he has a single beer, chats with the patrons, and then leaves.

From this everyday beauty, Jarmusch squeezes the charm and romance of Paterson’s life.

Driver is subtle and friendly, a capable leading man — he always has more on his mind than he lets on, and Farahani is eccentric and bubbly in all the right ways. The supporting players are excellent too, particularly Barry Shabaka Henley as the nostalgic bartender, and Moonrise Kingdom’s leading kids, Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward, cameo as two young Jersey anarchists.

As Paterson’s central duo, Driver and Farahani are wonderful together.

Their lives aren’t embellished or dramatic, they’re just human — in many ways, Paterson is to the middleclass everyman what La La Land is to privileged white people living in Los Angeles. It’s infinitely more relatable, and there’s something in the film that speaks to everyone. In this world of rising tension and global unrest, we need a quiet reminder of the wonder of everyday life to quench the flames inside us.

31

Ministry of Cool

Sorry, Garden State and Clerks, but I’d like to nominate Paterson to be the official State Movie of New Jersey (should such a title ever exist).

In Paterson, Adam Driver is a man named Paterson who drives a Paterson bus in the city of Paterson, New Jersey, and it’s unknown as to which of these many Patersons the title refers. In terms of story, there isn’t much to speak of.

The film is a simple but structured week-in-the-life of a bus driver. There is hardly any conflict, which makes for a very relaxing and calming viewing experience. Refreshingly, there are few stakes to speak of, and the tensions that do surface are more like ocean ripples than massive tsunamis of opposition.

The film is directed by veteran independent filmmaker Jim Jarmusch, that director whose name you’ve definitely heard before but whose movies you haven’t seen. And that makes sense — though he’s been working since the ’80s, Jarmusch has always kept himself in that independent film bubble.

It’s hard to imagine the same level of restraint being shown by a less experienced director.

Jarmusch’s Paterson is a quiet breath of life; it’s gentle, deep and poignant in the truth it commits to camera. While the film deals in the daily grind of its bus driver’s life, he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t see it as a grind. He’s a poet at heart, so every day presents a new possibility.

He wakes up next to his wife, Laura (Golshifteh Farahani), and she usually relays to him her dreams from the night before. He walks to work, drives along

I Am Not Your Negro

Tyler Obropta Staff Writer

Film Review Alex Coburn Staff Writer

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

20th Century Women

Film Review

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There were a number of documentaries in 2016 that crafted stories about race in ways that deeply, often horrifically, resonate with our current turbulent times. ESPN’s O.J.: Made in America — a fabulous five-part miniseries or unwieldy eight-hour doc, depending on how you chose to consume it — took a look at the racial tension that resulted in the infamous 10-month court case. Ava DuVernay’s Netflix film 13th examines the dehumanization of blacks in the U.S. and the myth of the threatening black felon.

But it’s hard to imagine a more prescient vision of our time than that of James Baldwin.

The man was black. He was a writer. He was an activist. The film is I Am Not Your Negro, based on Baldwin’s unfinished Remember This House, in which he fondly remembers his heroes Medgar Evers, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr., and he tragically relives their assassinations and looks ahead to the future of the nation for blacks around the country.

The film is a beautiful assemblage of Baldwin’s interviews and writings, civil rights demonstration footage, still photography and modern news coverage, all deftly compiled by director Raoul Peck and editor Alexandra Strauss. Also helping the fluid documentary are Alexei Aigui’s music and the passionate but surprisingly reserved narration from Samuel L. Jackson himself.

The information covered by the film should not be new to anyone, nor does the film set out to educate people on the history of the American racial struggle. Instead, through the sophisticated voice of Baldwin — my

Lord, this man is an excellent speaker — the documentary takes an academic, intellectual approach to its material. Baldwin speaks about the apathy and ignorance at the heart of America’s racial divide, about how young, black boys and girls grow up unaware — for half a dozen years, at least — that the country they were born in and owe their lives and identities to has never thought to evolve a place in itself for African-Americans.

In revisiting monstrous old advertisements featuring grotesque black stereotypes, or in examining the racism inherent in old Hollywood classics Stagecoach and No Way Out, we are provided a sobering dose of anger, shame and regret. When the film cuts from the Watts, Los Angeles, protests of the ‘60s to the rallies in Ferguson, Missouri, in 2014 and we can see how minute the differences are, I Am Not Your Negro succeeds in scaring the shit out of us.

Do not confuse my words: I Am Not Your Negro is not intended to shock. The film is honest, but not manipulative. As I’ve said, it attempts to enlighten, to explain. What future exists for black people in America?

Where do we go from here? Was the election of Barack Obama progress, or was it a white nation condescendingly rewarding blacks for hundreds of years of servitude?

Few modern documentaries have such an effective political punch, and few are as intellectually stimulating. If you can’t afford a ticket, Baldwin’s debates and interviews are all over the internet. For the sake of your education, go watch them.

“Strong female characters” is a phrase that generates a lot of buzz in the film industry, and for good reason. In today’s world, girls are constantly being asked: Is being a woman about the pictures they see in magazines? Is it about coming so close, but not close enough, to having a first female president? Many films have tried and often failed to address the complexities of being a woman. Mike Mills’s 20th Century Women, however, does not. With its punchy, modern editing, clever writing and endearing storyline, 20th Century Women provides not only well-rounded “strong female characters” but also a nostalgic memoir about what it was like to be a woman in the late ‘70s.

20th Century Women is all about how people interact with and shape each other. Dorothea (Annette Bening), who is struggling to raise her son Jamie (Lucas Jade Zumann) alone, enlists the help of her boarder Abbie (Greta Gerwig) and Jamie’s older friend Julie (Elle Fanning) to teach him how to be a good man.

The film is crafted as a series of moments rather than a linear storyline, so the editing is crucial. It’s not surprising that Mills has a history in graphic design, because the editing is not only visually pleasing and modern but also helps weave together the anecdotes into a cohesive story.

While the film is fictional, it feels like something universal to the women who grew up in those times. When describing each of the character’s back stories, still photographs were used to give context. There were also other cultural markers; for example, Julie’s mantras from Judy Blume books or Abbie’s

obsession with the punk culture feud between Talking Heads and Black Flag fans.

But what really sold the film was the writing. It is definitely deserving of the Best Original Screenplay Oscar nomination. Not only were the female characters endearing and multifaceted, but the male characters had genuine, respectful, complicated relationships with them that felt true to life. While the film is about a lot of things — from nostalgia for the ‘70s to finding happiness—it really focuses on how women and men at the time navigated the second wave of feminism.

The writing could easily have been pedantic and too historical drama-esque to be subversive, but Mills shows feminism on the homefront rather than placing it in a larger context.

A scene that stands out as particularly endearing and effective was the one in which, after reading Our Bodies Ourselves, Jamie gets in a fight with a boy at the skate park because he doesn’t know about clitoral stimulation.

Showcasing how women teach a young boy to be a good man and a feminist isn’t easy, but Mills’ writing does it in a way that is endearing without being sappy or preachy.

While 20th Century Women isn’t a sweeping, emotional historical drama about the progress of feminism, it is a relevant catalogue of moments in the lives of three women growing up in a pivotal time for feminism. Rather than focusing on the big picture, Mills gives us little vignettes of incredibly “strong female characters” and how their lessons and actions teach a teenage boy how to be a better man.

Lion Powerless

Lion portrays just how intense and obsessive the human desire to be found can be. It is based on the true story of Saroo Brierley and his memoir A Long Way Home, and how he was able to find his way home after being lost for so many years.

When Brierley is five years old, he gets separated from his family and his village in Northwest India. He mistakenly wakes up on the wrong train and travels to the distant, foreign city of Calcutta (now known as Kolkata). There he lives on the Film Review streets before he is sent to an orphanage and is adopted by Tasmanian couple John and Sue Brierley (played by David Lena Verga Contributing Writer Wenham and Nicole Kidman). Sunny Pawar plays the young Saroo.The one word that describes Pawar is adorable. His secret weapon is his eyes; they are big and brown and could melt even the coldest heart, a natural talent that is a rare gem nowadays.

Dev Patel plays the older Saroo. Patel gives a fantastic and realistic performance of a young man going from a state of ignorance to a complete and intense longingness to find home. Patel has a gift that allows him to transform into any role he’s given. As Saroo, he breaks his nerdy archetype that he has been given from his previous work (Slumdog Millionaire, The

TV Review Edward Willshire

Contributing Writer

arrives that their office is being shut down due to lack of productivity. Emily takes this as her opportunity to show her worth and motivate her team. Much to the chagrin of Van, the team scrambles to put together a product that shows the worth of their department.

Getting the perspective of the non-powered, everyday individual in the superhero world works as a setup, however, the biggest flaw of the pilot was that there wasn’t a compelling character in sight. One can’t expect a lot of character development in the first episode of the show, however, at no point in the episode does Emily break from being joyous, determined, and ambitious. These are important character qualities that we never see tested. When she is set back, she doesn’t react emotionally. This can also be said for the rest of the cast. Ron and Teddy are a funny duo, but at the end of the episode all I could tell you about them is the collection of one-liners.

The show seems to prioritize its world and premise over its characters. This is working for the moment, as the setting is strong and the characters are funny in their roles. However, how long this will sustain a good show is uncertain. The most successful sitcoms tend to have a large cast of memorable characters. In Between Friends, How I Met Your Mother, The Office and The Simpsons, there are dozens of beloved characters. Powerless, so far, lacks the element that will give it long term life, but for now, I’m sold on episode two.

33

Ministry of Cool

Despite numerous television shows and films based on the Superhero-filled worlds of DC Comics and Marvel in recent years, we have yet to see something quite like NBC’s Powerless. Compared to the dour and realistic Marvel Netflix shows (Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage) and the more straightforward action sci-fi DC Comics shows on the CW, (The Flash, Arrow, Supergirl) Powerless is something else entirely. Not only does the show ditch the focus on super-powered people all together, but it is a half-hour sitcom.

Set in the fictional Charm City, located in the DC Comics universe, Powerless is a workplace comedy about a team of designers working at Wayne Security. The show’s lead Emily, played by Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical, Spring Breakers), is an upbeat young new hire at Wayne Security. She has been tasked with leading the very unmotivated design team. The team, which consists of Teddy (Danny Pudi), Wendy (Jennie Pierson), and Ron (Ron Funches), specialize in making gadgets that protect everyday people from the collateral damage of superhero battles. Their boss, the obnoxious and elitist Van Wayne, played by Alan Tudyk (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Serenity), dreams of leaving the Charm City office and getting transferred to Gotham City to work with his cousin, Bruce. In the pilot, Van informs the team soon after Emily

Newsroom, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).

The cinematography plays an important role in Lion. When the action centers around young Saroo, the camera shows what he is seeing. With this technique, the viewer empathizes with him in that moment. The film is also shot on location in India and Tasmania, adding the setting to the long list of pleasing features in this film.

Another aspect is sound. Throughout the film, Saroo is haunted by the sound of himself as a little boy calling out to his lost brother. Every time he thinks back he can always hear himself, lost and afraid.

Language and communication play a large part as well. Three languages are spoken throughout the film. Saroo is from a part of India where Hindi is the predominant language, where other areas, like Calcutta in the East, speak Bengali. When he arrives in Calcutta, he faces a drastic language barrier since he cannot understand what is being said around him, and others can’t understand him. When Saroo is finding home, he uses mass communication through the internet and Google Maps.

Lion has been nominated for six Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor Actress for Patel and Kidman. The success of Lion doesn’t lie in glitz or glamor, but in the true, gritty story of determination and hope.

Ultimate Revenge

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

Anonymous

Ever wish you could get the ultimate revenge on your ex? I was in a long distance relationship freshman year with this boy from my hometown named Luke. Luke and I were pretty serious about each other but we went to school six hours apart. Eventually, the distance took its toll on our relationship and Luke started to get very jealous. He thought I was cheating on him on the down-low every time I went out to a party, so we decided to break up last February on kind of bad terms. It hurt me, more than I thought it would, and I went a little crazy over the course of that semester by going out and trying to make up for lost time. It took me a long while to get over Luke and I remained a little salty about how the whole thing went down.

Fast forward to winter break: I was just watching TV in my pajamas when I got a Facebook message from my ex’s older brother, Cam. He asked if I wanted to hang out, smoke, and see a movie sometime. It was a little weird because we had only talked whenever I went over to my thenboyfriend’s house, but we had never hung out on our own before. Of course I was a little suspicious as to why Cam wanted to hang out with

34

me, but I was bored and thought, eh, why not?

So I picked him up and we went to the movie and smoked in the parking lot, talking about life and catching up about our semesters.

We were two of maybe five people in the movie theatre, so we were chatting a lot and half-heartedly watching the movie when — BAM — he made his move and went to kiss me. I was a little like ah what is happening, but the other half of me was like hahaha this is hilarious.

Literally, I just kept thinking, “OMG, this is just like making out with my ex,” but I was kinda vibing with it because they were both good kissers. I’m not going to lie: It was fun sneaking around, texting him on the down-low, working with Luke during the day at our deli job and hanging out with Cam at night.

I would just grin to myself at work, thinking, “Heh heh heh, I know something you don’t know,” and it definitely put me in a good mood.

I totally wanted to take this further with Cam and the perfect opportunity presented itself a week later. I snuck over to Cam’s house and we had sex. I fucked my ex’s older brother and he was way better than my ex in every sense of the word. We had sex multiple times over break after that and the best

part is my ex has no idea any of this happened. The funny thing is that I don’t even feel guilty about it because I guess you could say I had finally quenched my thirst for revenge on my ex.

Thirst of the Wild Anonymous

We chatted off and on over the course of a week.

“We should sleep together sometime,” he typed. “Not sex.

Sleeping next to each other.”

“What makes you want to sleep next to me?”

“You have a friendly smile.”

He opened up about his painful past at two in the morning. An ex-boyfriend, torrential emotional phantom pains and regrets of cheating. The emotional outbursts would occur between spurts of “hi” and “what’s up” in the waking hours, when he was shedding his McDonald’s uniform and I was grooming my feelings of numbness to avoid sleep.

I messaged him several days later on Grindr. He couldn’t sleep; it was past three and the silence of fretful slumber had cast itself over my apartment. “It’s too bad I can’t cuddle you to sleep,” I told him.

It was an invitation to satisfy that thirst. “You want me to come over that badly?” he asked.

“I’m not going to die if you decide to go back to sleep alone.

But it’s always nice to cuddle with someone.”

I had no fucking idea what I was getting into.

We kissed; he asked me to bite his earlobe hard, harder, harder until he

moaned in ecstasy. He nipped and tugged at my body with his teeth in mildly sadistic foreplay. When I told him I wasn’t a big fan of pain, he said, “Pain is good. The more the better,” and his desire to relive his breakup shape-shifted before me.

The quiet human that just wanted to sleep next to me then proceed to rim me while I kept his dick in my mouth for the better part of fifteen minutes. It went so long my knees gave way, the rough aftermath of his scruff tingling against my skin. My knees were so stiff they refused to straighten out; I felt like the carcass of a dead stink-bug on my bed.

We both quickly fell into a fitful sleep only to wake up a few hours later and finish the job. After trying to convince me to take him without lube and practice, telling me the pain would be pleasure, he came on my face and I felt strangely relieved.

After he left that morning, I opened up Grindr again. I wasn’t satisfied.

35

Ministry of Cool

I don’t feel satisfied by anything right now; so somewhere, somehow, I’ve decided to rectify this through a cyclical spiritual journey of looking for dick.

Cisgender boys are ardent disciples of this journey. They advocate for it by espousing the joys of dating apps and the horrors of commitment. Your thirst is easily rectified for the price of your dignity, or the implication in someone’s version of no fats/no femmes/no folx of color, or the rare chance on someone that could be good for you in another world.

Satisfying your thirst is about creating a compromise of self so that your drained, dried-up body feels relief in the arms of someone who may or may not look like their profile says they do. It’s a roulette of what sorts of feelings you’ll encounter when in his arms. To thirst is to accept that, once you meet in person, your feelings are volatile and impossible to come to fruition.

My most recent attempt at addressing this thirst was with a boy from Grindr.

His profile name was leaf emoji, falling leaves emoji, which clearly denoted him as an artistic personality, or as a weed connoisseur.

36

OSE&CONS. PROSE&CONS.

BUZZSAW: Dunk Issues

Short fiction, personal essay, and other assorted lies.

Living Arrangements

by Sarah Noell

He liked to open up his cabinet and find her wine glasses inside, her lipstick stains in the sink.

And so now they were his, and now she lived there too.

He understood they were in love, in a deep pit of amicable arrangements, in physical debt, in a simply archaic for m of attraction.

But it set into place with the curves of the unfamiliar glass, sitting silently among his sturdy tumblers and steins.

Prose & Cons

37

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

I

W h e n I W a s bFy iAvl eex C o b u r n

feel I am essentially the same person I was when I was five. I like to believe that all humans are like this, that we are really all just who we were when we were five. I suppose that makes things easier to swallow.

When I was five, I owned black loafers with Hello Kitty detailing on the toe. Naturally, I was very vain about them. I hadn’t yet begun taking piano lessons, but I told everyone I did because I could play “Heart and Soul” by ear with my sister. I had a much easier time being friends with teachers than I did with people my own age.

Today, I am still basically the same, although I lost the Hello Kitty loafers and gained piano lessons along the way.

But now, precocious is pretentious and enthusiasm is trying too hard and perfectionism is being anal retentive. I will never know what anal retentive really means.

Why do we ever decide to grow up? I am sure it is a conscious effort. Why did we ever trade our trundle beds and lava lamps for stiff sheets and nights without bedtime stories?

I ask myself these questions a lot, but I have yet to find a good

38

response. I am sure five-year-old me would have an opinion on the subject.

It’s like I’m waiting to wake up. And I’m near the end of a dream — the part where all of the details go a bit fuzzy around the edges and faces go all soft and out of focus. That’s how I remember being five. Just a few years ago, I could recall every detail of the books I checked out from the library, of the way I felt when I lost the spelling bee — asterisk was the word. Now, it’s slipping away in pieces.

But sometimes, I will hear a name. Will smell a smell. And I will cry out, “Oh! That’s it!” For a moment, clarity disrupts the nostalgia, and I can remember a fragment. That moment right after waking up when you can still vividly sense all the minutiae of your dream.

How can so many parts of me be different, but so many still the same? If I think hard before I fall asleep, maybe fiveyear-old me will come back to me in a dream. It usually works that way in the movies. I want to be certain that she’s happy with how she turned out. Is she sad

that my nose freckles are barely visible anymore? Does she wish I was meaner to boys? I don’t think I could meet her again.

What if I disappoint her? What if I’ve gotten thirteen years older but none the wiser?

But she could never be disappointed. Because she’s me. And although I’m not sure how well I truly remember what it was like to be so young, although I can’t remember the name of the librarian I used to idolize or the little dog that lived across the street, I remember how I felt.

The feelings come back to me when the memories don’t.

She would be proud of me.

Even though I have lost so much of her, she will understand. It’s hard to keep yourself intact.

So, five-year-old me: just know that even if I lost your relentless self-confidence, I still have your pluck and your moxie and your inability to stay quiet for more than five minutes. I still love black licorice and don’t really love chocolate. Please be kind to yourself. You are more like me than you know.

When people tell me they love me, I say One Tooth fast and stretch my lips into a smile.

The wuh sounds like luh and tooth, drop -th, sounds close enough to the confirmation they expect to hear.

On the phone it is easier to pretend my mouth is forming the correct words because if they don’t understand I can hang up, sorry bad reception.

I chew the real words in the inside of my cheek until they are salty metal rubbed raw.

People don’t like blood and hollow skin so I let -w sounds widen my mouth and my tongue moistens my teeth.

No one asks for something they didn’t want, twice.

One T o o t h

by Nata lie Pa p p as

Prose & Cons

39

Pink Februaries

by Hakeem Anthony

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

what can be said about a pink february? what can be said when, these kinds are imagined, fantastic days where smiles reign over sadness like spring rains over the winter snow. pink februaries are those kinds of created scenes the lonely or social mind schemes to escape the seemingly lonely or social world where closing eyes show a nothingness that attracts black and firework splashes. sometimes in february the horizons become pink, when the sun and moon are both visible on opposite skies, the sides show eliding clouds and stars; white and grey blurs with white and silver sparks. the pink slips in from the bottom. set on the side of the sun, but also from terra firma itself. this pink february promotes this girl; in a pink short-sleeve shirt with a pink phone case, with pink lips in-between pink cheeks, and in pink snapchat text, the words, “_____” are sent with one second to read yet when it’s clicked, a pink blur is all to be seen. the words become constructive-destructive pink-nothingness. describing what exactly a pink february is —

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W T

h e

h a t G

u i d e

N

f o r

o t

D

D

o

Warning: If said guy is at a close proximity, don’t open and close your mouth. You are not a fish out of water, gasping for air like you are gasping for words right now. You are a human being with a brain that can say something— anything—intelligent.

Number Four: While said guy patiently waits for you to respond, do not gaze into his eyes for any reason. None at all. Under no circumstances.

Shit, I just did.

Warning: If this were to happen, there is a ninety-nine point nine nine percent chance that your insides will warm and melt. His eyes are the window to the soul and from the intensity and passion from him alone, you will easily forget where you are.

If you follow all these rules, then you should be fine.

But if you don’t and break all of them, just remember: He is just a guy.

That you like.

Who is still standing in front of you.

“Hi. How’s your shoes?”

Shit.

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Prose & Cons

Number Three: If said guy walks towards you, and you can’t look away, find a random object across the room and pretend that it is the most important and fascinating object in the entire world.

Shit, he just said hi.

o

u m m i e s / by Kimberly Caceci

Number One: When said guy walks into the room, do not look up. And if by any chance said guy does notice you, do not make any form of eye contact.

Shit, of course I looked up. Now we made eye contact.

Warning: If you do happen to glance up and are caught staring at him, look right back down and pretend to have never acknowledged his presence. He may overlook you.

Number Two: After turning away, do not glance back in the direction said guy is in.

Continue staring away for at least the rest of your life.

Shit, I glanced back. And he waved at me.

Warning: If you do peek a lifetime too early, do not wave like a broken down robot. You are a well-oiled machine who can handle any and all types of situations. Except the ones that include feelings.

T

In Three Parts

by Courtney Ravelo

I.

I smelled your cologne coming from a body that wasn’t yours calling me over to ask if there’s anything that reminds you of me as much as that cologne reminds me of you and if you’ll ever be back to wear it the way you used to just a little too much every time

II.

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

I couldn’t force you to love me the way I loved you I couldn’t force you to treat me right but you could force me to do just about anything and I thought for a long time that that was love that I deserved the burnt end of the stick that you deserved the gold coming from my tears as you rejected me you loved watching me cry

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III.

I hope I never love someone as fiercely as I loved you for my heart cannot take what you did to me a second time especially since I’m still in recovery from the first time when you took everything I had to offer and threw it in the recycling to be sorted later at your convenience and my heartbreak you should’ve loved me better

T h e Tr a v e l e r B y

R a e

H a r r i s

Feel the balmy air on your lips All sweat and skin and sighs Dreamy bruises collect like passport stamps on pale flesh Come and take a vacation to the land of intertwined limbs and intoxication A formal introduction to the world of weekend trips Blissful ignorance shuddering like a poison through youthful veins Follow them like a map You were my favorite tourist But the homesickness inevitably invaded Another foreigner with a suitcase already packed I yearned to keep you here, To grasp that muscle pumping blood inside your chest Crack open your rib cage and dip my palms inside To clench, to clamp, to keep it all to myself, But I let it go instead.

Prose & Cons

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The Ramshackle Christmas and My Dad’s Lemon Pepper Pasta

BBUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

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he first Christmas I returned to the place I’d grown up, nearly four months had passed since I had seen my dad, and everything was different. I was different: four months of middle school in a brand new state really does have an effect. And he was different: new life, new home, new versions of us. Dad and I had to learn to live together, the two “bachelors,” as we’d refer to ourselves later on. At first it wasn’t easy.

We seemed to circle each other, like two planets caught in different orbits. And that made sense; he was restoring the fullness to a life once dedicated to an eight-year marriage and I was finding my way through the greyish area of accepting a new kind of independence in a world divided by time zones. My parents were no longer a unit and I had to figure out exactly where I fit in the grand scheme of things. It’s much more confusing to sort out your life when it’s spread across states and rooms and people where it once was altogether.

Following the end of my parents’ divorce, my dad moved into a square with three rooms and a backyard full of furniture that didn’t fit in anywhere. I remember walking outside to see an array of weather-weathered chairs and desks, standing sentient in the snow with nowhere to go. Both the inside and the outside of our tiny house reflected a funny cobbling of mismatched pieces of a once very different life.

I strung streamers from the corners of my unfamiliar tiny room, and it felt good to laugh again with my funny dad at the fact that my bed just barely fit between the two side walls, my dresser letting out an exhausted groan as it was pressed into the only remaining corner of space. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed just being around my him until I couldn’t imagine going back to it being normal without him there.

In all honesty, I was just so glad to be home in a place where I could actually tell you the cross streets. Not even the fact that we had zero ornaments and had lost the stockings somewhere in the move could ruin it. On Christmas Eve we went to BI-Mart and bought tacky golden baubles and ornaments that sang whenever you walked by the tree. On Christmas morning I received the typical “toothbrush and chocolate orange combination” in a grocery bag. We couldn’t help but be kind of proud of this ramshackle Christmas in a tiny home that actually felt like home.

Another three months stretched between my dad and I, but then summer came in its hues of green and pink, the smell of lilacs floating in from a neighboring yard.

For the first time, I tasted a different kind of freedom, the freedom of only being traced around my tiny city by one parent instead of two. Our blue box home on Allison St. was opportunely located just above the swell of downtown tourism and the public library. I walked

by Mila Phelps-Friedl

everywhere, savoring every moment of my slice of independence. However, this independence came at the price of lemon pasta.

Whatever kind of cook my father was, prior to marrying my mother, was lost in the background of my mother’s tenacious knack for cooking. Don’t question my use of the word ‘tenacious’ because it fits. My mother doesn’t just cook, she conquers, sure to make her version of the récipe far better than the original. And so a new era began, right around the time my intrepid father purchased a little cookbook called, “The Pleasure of Cooking for One.” If you’re reading this, Dad, I love you, but let’s be clear that at the very beginning: watching you try to cook for 1.5 people, and more so, eating what you tried to cook for 1.5 people, was far from pleasant. At the forefront of my mind is that goddamn lemon pasta. I get the idea, I really do, but what tried to come across as elegance in noodle form (as the package protested in swirly lemon yellow letters) merely tasted incoherent in my mouth.

My dad would make this dish once a week and keep the leftovers for days because nearly every dish in “The Pleasure of Cooking for One” could be served 1avec un côté de — you guessed it — that lemon-fucking-pasta.The thing is, my dad was so excited to be able to make this ramshackle home built upon rebuilding and leftover lemon pasta. So how could I really complain?

And thus my summer trailed on, days filled with whatever adventure I could find between the library on Gresham St. and the tangled trails of Lithia Park at the base of the plaza. And I could always count on coming home to a strainer of fresh (or reheated) lemon pasta and a few more pictures decorating the walls of our funny little home.

I don’t regret a second of this part of my life.

It was hard to rebuild, but both my dad and I learned so very much about the bittersweet taste of starting over again. And yes, that may be the lemon pasta talking, but even that added to the beautiful mess that made up the beginning of life with my dad. In the end I realized that I didn’t need to find myself spread across states, or time zones or rooms; instead I could just count on the feeling of belonging based on the people that filled those places. A place devoid of lemon pasta after I politely asked my dad to stop making it.

1

“with a side of ” translated from Français.

Sawdust

AWDUST. SAWDUST. SAWD

Satire threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

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Report: Trump Controlled by Giant Spider Arachnar consumes great power

By Will Cohan, Contributing Writer

R

eporters at the White House have recently discovered that newly elected U.S. president Donald Trump is actually being controlled by a giant spider. This first came to the attention of White House staffers who reported finding “obscene amounts of spider web in the halls” and “the corpses of several interns with their blood drained.” Something like this couldn’t stay secret for long.

The spider in question, who wishes to be addressed as “Arachnar, Bringer of Destruction and Devourer of Man,” was eventually found by Secret Service in a bunker beneath the East Wing. Trump, unfazed by the news, gave orders not to attack the creature saying, “Don’t worry, he’s with me. Arachnar’s a good spider, a wonderful spider. Trust me on this.”

Later, Arachnar described in an interview his relationship with Donald Trump and how the two became acquainted.

“I first met Donald when he was a young man – Greedy little thing, looking

to make his mark on the world – so I made a deal with him. If he pledged his soul and obedience to me, I would help him become successful.” Soon after making this deal, Trump received a small loan of a million dollars.

While the public may not be familiar with Arachnar, he has gained quite a reputation in the arthropod community, specifically in Eightpart News, a political news site that some claim is spider supremacist, as it promotes stereotypes such as scorpions being uneducated and crustaceans being terrorists.

Arachnar, who’s missing an eye, has three legs shorter than the others and a complexion that looks like a kiwi with syphilis fucked a naked mole rat, claimed, “My pure-bred spider ancestry makes me superior to all other beings in the Arachnid class. Any attacks made against this are invalid and must be disregarded as fake news.”

When discussing his role in Trump’s rise to presidency, Arachnar stated, “I’ve been behind his entire career from the start. Something Donald left out of The Art of the Deal is that it’s very convenient

having an ally that can rip out someone’s throat and drink their blood like a milkshake if they refuse to sign a contract.”

In response to criticism of Arachnar’s business practices and claims that he is a killer, Trump dismissed the issue, saying, “There’s a lot of killers.”

Trump also denied the extent of Arachnar’s involvement in the White House, stating, “I respect Arachnar a lot. I really do. Nice guy, wonderful guy. First choice. But I’m calling the shots around here, I promise you that.”

When asked what motive Arachnar could possibly have for becoming president of the United States, Arachnar replied, “A female Mexican Muslim abortion doctor tried to squish me when I was little. Soon, they will all pay.”

Now that Arachnar is open about his role in the White House, he looks forward to running for President himself in 2020. ___________________________________________ Will Cohan is a second year Cinema and Photography major who suffers from crippling arachnophobia. You can reach them at wcohan@ithaca.edu.

Six Songs to Rage to In the Days of Trump Channel your anger with these sick jams

#

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

By Matthew Nitzberg, Staff Writer

1: That opening song from CSI: Las Vegas.

You know that song that opens CSI: Las Vegas, the CSI with the bug guy and the song is all like, “Who are you???” I really wanna know. Seriously, I just woke up from a coma.

Who is this guy? I don’t understand.

Why is everyone so mad? #2 Theme song from Happy Days I love that show - wasn’t it great?

I mean, how much did Joani love Chachi? And there was that one guy in the leather jacket - God that guy was hot, but like also accessible, you know what I mean? #3: “My Humps” by Fergie.

No reason needed. This song is just great. Fergie took the world by storm with this hit song, and for that reason, I believe any self-respecting

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person should rage to it. #4: “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child.

I love Destiny’s Child! Seriously, I consider myself to be a true child of destiny (often I wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night from visions of the future that I am both helpless to stop and helpless to stop knowing about). It’s bands like Destiny’s Child that remind you of how great Disney is. I’m so glad that they run the music industry. Could you imagine a world in which they didn’t?!? Anyway, I’m really excited to see Michelle Williams’ career to take off, she’s definitely my favorite member. #5: “I’m Blue” by Eiffel 66.

Seriously, if you know this song, you rage to this song. How could you not? Who among us can say that they are not blue? The world is a strange and alienating place. People walk around every day, just ignor-

ing each other, so caught up in their own day to day that they can’t stop to just be a person with people. It’s sad, you know? Also that chorus is so sick: “I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa, I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa.”

This song never fails to get the people moving and the club bumping. #6: “Rites of Spring” by Igor Stravinsky.

Yo, so when I first heard this song, I was like, “WEAK.” Igor Stravinsky is a limp boner if I ever saw one, but then I like did a quick Ask Jeeves, and this song IS CRAAAAAAAAAAAZY! Did you know that they threw a fucking riot because this shit was so crazy?!?! People threw a FUCKING RIOT for a ballet. RAGE!!!!!!!!! __________________________________ Matthew Nitzberg is a fourth year sociology major with impeccable taste in music. You can reach them at mnitzberg@ithaca.edu.

A Shocking Discovery Boy afraid of death is death itself

T

By Matthew Radulski, Contributing Writer

vomited and evaporated in thin air.

This was peculiar, but he returned his attention to the Minecraft streamer he had been watching.

His mind wandered, and Graham noticed that he could see his bright blue eyes reflect in the chat stream next to the video. Normally, he would say how much he disliked the survival mode, for it had too much killing, but today he simply watched.

As he did, he spotted an irritating fly, which made quite the squeal when Graham made it pop with his mind.

The next morning it rained, and with rain brought the worms. A trail of these now deceased worms followed the young whippersnapper on the way to school. The school bully, twelve year-old Frank Snyley, has been known to put dead ants on the end of a stick, cleverly using a bit of Juicy Fruit to make it stick. He has been known to chase Graham around the playground with his apparatus, much to everyone’s comic folly. Today, he made Snyley’s skull explode violently, placed it on a stick, and chased his own classmates around the playground. No folly was had by any. Graham had developed a taste and now he wants more.

After a stern warning from his Principal, Graham returned to class.

The day’s social studies lesson was on George Washington. Graham found himself drawn like a maggot to rotting flesh toward the details of Washington’s demise: the doctor’s bloodletting failed. It was a common medical practice for those with an ailment to have themselves cut open so that blood could leak out. Graham thought this barbaric form of medicine looked like fun and would attempt it on a bully in the next school district.

In kindergarten, Graham got a bloody nose and passed out.

He had always hoped he would never see blood

come out of him, but strangely his taste had changed. His focus drifted from the cool ‘S’s that he was drawing in his notebook to the veins on his strict and no-fun teachers arms. This was the same teacher who told him nobody wanted to see him if his nose was bloody. At one point in time, Graham would have agreed, but now he couldn’t control himself. “Blood-letting looks like fun” he said out loud, as his once deep blue eyes faded to black.

Suzie, his classmate who had witnessed Graham’s eyes and soul fade from his face, told him that his face looked funny. Graham reportedly spared Suzie if for no other reason than the bloodlust made him have to use the bathroom.

Residing future bloody plans to the future, Graham made his way to sign out and get the bathroom pass. As it turns out, Jacoby was already in the bathroom and had been for the maximum four minutes. Graham waited and waited, but Jacoby was taking his time. Graham, black eyes as dark as hell, decided to do the unthinkable: he left the classroom without signing out, and made his way to the bathroom.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he could only vaguely recognize who was in front of him. So vague did he appear that Graham actually believed it was a different person in the mirror. In what Jacoby later recalled as “weally, weaaly weird,” Graham focused on his reflection in the mirror, only for himself to spontaneously combust. So it goes, that the boy who feared, who would not be quenched, saw the evil in himself. __________________________________ Matthew Radulski is a third year writing major who stays up late at night a reads Nietzsche with their book light. You can reach them at mradulski@ithaca.edu.

Sawdust

Illustrated by Alexa Salvato

en year-old Graham R. Epper was shook to his core when he came home from school to learn that he was actually the living embodiment of death itself. Warning signs had permeated his life. His father died the instant he held his son for the first time. He lived with his mother ever since, and took up an interest in the Presidents.

“Franky (sic) Roosevelt was my favorite because he said there’s nothing to fear but fear itself.” He would soon learn that he was the thing he feared most: death.

Graham was on his way back from school, running away from suddenly wilting flowers in his wake. When he got home, a fifteen-foot tall snake waited in his living room. This snake, who could have eaten the boy whole with little effort, instead spoke in parseltongue to say “you are death, eater of worlds.” Graham did not take it well, and the snake decided to leave the house. Graham was frightened and ran upstairs.

He got to his room and put on some Good Charlotte while he had a good cry. Once that was done with, he went on Youtube Red to watch his favorite Let’s Player play some Minecraft.

Instead he stared at the mouse at the foot of his bed. He concentrated at it and, shockingly, the mouse

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A New Form of Audiophile

How a local student has changed the way he listens to music

By Alex Coburn, Staff Writer

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

W

ith the vinyl craze sweeping the music industry, nostalgia lovers of all ages are able to listen to their favorite artists not only on Spotify, but also on an antiquated piece of equipment that they dug out of their basement or impulse-purchased at Barnes & Noble. Records have grown in popularity since being heralded as “the real way to listen to music,” and underemployed, 20-something liberal arts majors are their greatest proponents.

“I smashed my bluetooth speaker with my vintage copy of Ulysses after I bought my first Crosley,” Amelia Rickert, a Classical Studies major with a minor in Late 80s Shoegaze, said. “It’s the only way to listen to music properly.”

But is it, Amelia? According to Alex Courtin, vinyl is out. And its replacement? Low-res MP3 files.

“I first discovered the beauty of low-res MP3 files when I tried to download The Cure’s Wish album off of this sketchy Russian free music site that my bandmate told me about,” he explained. “I knew when I first hit play and could barely hear Robert Smith’s voice that there was no going back. I just prefer things to sound like they’re being played underwater while also driving through a tunnel. The static really enhances the experience.”

Anyone born before 2000 remembers sites such as LimeWire, which allowed you to download the latest Dashboard Confessional song for free — as long as you didn’t mind hearing, “Wait, I’m recording” at the beginning of the song. Alex Courtin said the early 2000s were the peak of auditory experiences. Everything that came either before or after that is completely secondary.

“People are too focused nowadays on the ability to ‘hear’ songs,” he said. “Personally, I think that grainy sound quality and questionable pitch increase adds a sense of intimacy to

48

songs you’ve heard a million times before. Whenever I’m walking to my Intro to Philosophy lecture, I love to just take out my first generation iPod and listen to my Recently Downloaded playlist. It’s even better that most of the downloads’ names are in Russian!”

Courtin insists that, contrary to popular, belief that high sound quality is necessary to fully appreciate the music from your favorite artists, it’s actually better to barely be able to understand what the lead singer is saying. It allows you to fill in the gaps with your own, maybe not so vast musical knowledge.

“A lot of people ask me how I can stand to listen to David Bowie’s seminal classic The Rise of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars as an illegally downloaded MP3 that I have uploaded, downloaded, reuploaded and re-downloaded over seventeen times and here’s how I respond: as a true fan, I have my own ideas about how I would have done things better than Bowie. During the bits of the album that are literally too static-ridden to hear, I close my eyes and imagine what I would have done differently,” Courtin explained.

Courtin himself is the lead singer and tambourinist for his band Dead Kat Division Part 3, which he describes as, “a post-surf punk noise-fi sound experience.” As an artist, Courtin calls himself, “the lovechild of Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain except not Frances Bean Cobain,” although the one review written about his band merely described it as juvenile, unbearable, and sickeningly pretentious.

“See, I’m an artist,” Courtin said.

“I’m an innovator. I look at the technological improvements we have made within the audio realm and ask, ‘Did we really need those things in the first place?’ By hearing albums the way the artist intends you to, you’re really just being lazy.”

Some of Courtin’s peers are skeptical toward his approach.

According to several classmates,

Courtin is a “fraud who skipped every Audio Production 1 class.”

Even those closest to him refuse to convert to his way of listening.

In fact, Courtin’s girlfriend, Skye Spears, has threatened to end the relationship multiple times due to his lack of skill with the aux cord.

“I picked him up on the first date and handed him the aux cord,” Spears recounted. “Usually, that’s my litmus test as to whether I can date someone or not. But when Courtin played the first song, the sound my radio was emitting made me truly concerned as to whether my car was about to blow up.”

Nope! That’s just a low-res MP3 download of “Love Will Tear Us Apart”.

“Not everyone approves of my way of life, but it’s lonely at the top,” Courtin said, sipping his organic free trade kombucha tea and gazing sadly at his first-generation iPod. “A lot of people tell me that it’s not worth it, that if I really want to listen to music the way the artists intended, vinyl is a totally valid option with good sound quality. But that’s not what it’s about for me.”

Courtin smiled wryly and glanced out the window, his eyes glistening with both melancholy and determination.

“Some people say I’m crazy.

But that’s what they said about Lennon. That’s what they said about Hawking,” Courtin said. “And they went down in history. I’ll go down in history one day too — as long as my low-res MP3 downloads come with me.” ___________________________________ Alex Coburn is a first year Cinema & Photography student and an avid audio enthusiast. You can reach them at acoburn@ithaca.edu.

Student Dives Into the World of Politics It doesn’t go very well

By Jordan Aaron, Sawdust Editor

W

ith the country in political upheaval, and civil liberties in grave danger, Ithaca College student, Wayne Knuckles, says he understands what’s going on in the world, but he’s just got too much shit going on right now to do anything about it.

At his intramural basketball team practice, he talked about the issues facing the nation, and him actively shrugging them off. In the clip he said, “Yeah man, I understand that there’s some serious stuff going on right now, but I’ve got my own problems too. I got busted again for being high in my Outdoor Studies class and now my parents are gonna take the poon mobile away.” The poon mobile is his 2002 Toyota Corolla.

Knuckles sits in the back of his gen ed required politics class and plays Tetris on his laptop while avoiding participation. While going on his usual Thursday afternoon coffee run to

Starbucks, Knuckles ran into baristas having a conversation about current events. The baristas were discussing the capitalist imagery in the colors of the Starbucks logo. One of the baristas, Shannon Landon, called on Knuckles to chime in. Knuckles brushed them off in an attempt to avoid a nuanced discussion of America’s political climate.

Another barista, Benjamin CheeseWalter continued to pick Knuckles’ brain, but Knuckles brushed that off, saying, “But you’re a white dude too.” CheeseWalter retorted, “I may be white but I’m still an ally. Don’t take out your hostility at me because you’re not informed enough to be part of public discourse.”

With tensions mounting everywhere he goes, Knuckles took to reading the news every day. He started with recommended periodicals like the New York Times, Washington Post and Wall Street Journal, but he found himself unable to connect to what he felt was an elitist writing style.

One day, however, Knuckles stumbled upon a link to alt-right nonsense blog, Breitbart. On this day, Wayne Knuckles’

Pepsi In the Pipes

life changed. For the first time in his life, he felt enlightened.

Knuckles arrived to class the next day rejuvenated. He was prepared with some articles published by Breitbart’s Charles Hurt, specifically “The Nuclear Option: At Sessions’ Hearing, Dems Live Up to the Party’s Tradition of Racism.”

Knuckles, eager to show the class his newfound knowledge, volunteered to go first, showing off his opinions about the non-existence of racial tension and his theory that homosexuality is a hoax invented by liberals to gain sympathy for Native Americans. The rest of the class took in his words, and decided to move on, declaring him an alt-right neo-nazi and a lost cause rather than helping him sift through the information.

This is a cautionary tale: be open to dialogue. _____________________________________ Jordan Aaron is a third year Writing for Film, Television, and Emerging Media major who has been to Breitbart too many times this month. You can reach him at jaaron@ithaca.edu.

Amidst bad sales, Crystal Pepsi to be repurposed for Flint water system

I

By Cara Olson, Contributing Writer

Crystal Pepsi did not get the action it expected, and Pepsi was left embarrassed and with far too much Crystal Pepsi on their hands — until the obvious solution struck them. With a desire to restore their brand integrity and a hope of helping the common good, the head honchos at Pepsi hatched a somewhat questionable plan: filling reservoirs in Flint, Michigan with Crystal Pepsi.

“It’s just what the people want,” Pepsi’s CEO, Glinda Weppler, said. “We at Pepsi are passionate about the health and wellbeing of our customers, and Flint is in dire need of our help. What better way to solve this crisis than with the incredibly fresh taste of Crystal Pepsi?”

Pepsi revealed their intentions a few days ago, and the reaction was one to behold. Celebrations filled the streets of Flint after the announcement and citizens of Flint expressed their excitement over the news.

“This city and the people living here have been ignored since the crisis began,” Clementine Hands, a Flint resident, said.

“I’m so grateful for Pepsi and their

generosity, even though my children and I still won’t have clean water to drink.”

“I’m just over the moon!” Geoff Checker, another Flint resident, said.

“I can’t wait to bathe in Crystal Pepsi.”

“Yeah, uh, that’s pretty weird,” Magenta Yickers said, offering a different perspective. “I mean, I know our water is poisonous, but Crystal Pepsi? A clear Pepsi — you can’t tell me that stuff’s not poisonous too. Come on.”

Regardless of Yickers’ dissenting opinion, it looks like the surplus of Crystal Pepsi will go to good use after all. Somehow, this is not even close to the most absurd thing that’s happened so far in 2017. ______________________________________ Cara Olson is a second year TelevisionRadio major and Crystal Pepsi is her favorite drink, second only to Berry Fanta. You can reach her at colson@ ithaca.edu

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Sawdust

n 1992, the nation was swept by a revolution. That revolution had a name: Crystal Pepsi. It was a national phenomenon until 1993 when Pepsi suddenly discontinued the product, spurning an uproar.

Smash cut to 2017. We have a new president deciding where our tax dollars are to be spent. And as we all know, there are plenty of places where that money could do a lot of good. The Flint water crisis has been happening for more than two years, and would cost $55 million — but wait! There’s a more pressing matter at hand: A 21 billion dollar wall on the U.S.-Mexico border needs to be built stat. We can’t waste time restoring clean water to a community in need of help. Flint’s just gonna have to wait.

Or will they? This past summer, Pepsi initiated a second release of the mind-boggling clear cola. Targets around the country scrambled to stock shelves with the product, anticipating whirlwind nostalgia and over-the-top sales. Unfortunately, the return of

White House Opens Suggestion Box Government for the people, suggested by the people

By Kirby Wilhelm, Contributing Writer

BUZZSAW: The Quench Issue

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hite House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, has confirmed a suggestion box will be installed in the White House’s basement, open to those who “can make it down to the bowling alley, roll a strike in one try, and buy a couple cases of beer wholesale from my wife.” Some qualifications exist, along with the aforementioned qualifications, to who can suggest a suggestion, with precedence given to those who “choose to slip in a certified Trump steak wrapped in at least 45 Trump ties, all tied in the Eldredge style.”

Spicer added that the White House is open to any architecture plans for a new White House, allowing a proposal by anyone, “even someone not white, male or old but just let it be known that we will go with the most cost-effective, energy-deficient option”.

Spicer left immediately after that statement, citing “a priorengagement with some real journalists.”

Directly afterwards, Kellyanne Conway, bursting through a window into the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room, made it clear that “no suggestions political in nature can be made about ideas about the fate of the environment” or “shit about social security.” But if you have something to say about “how great Trump is for American culture and society and the American globe, and find ways to make the world more welcoming of Trump, go ahead, you’re encouraged.”

Anyone, even those who can’t bowl, can recommend an outfit online with the White House’s official suggestion box for Ivanka, Barron, Melania, Ivana or Eric to wear but Donald will “most definitely try it on first.” High on the priority list of potential suggestions is for the complete overhaul of the design of the White House’s interior.

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Trump envisions lots of dollar signs, abundant candelabras running on sperm whale oil and a gold sculpture of naked Trump coated in plutonium.

This will all be finished off with a scattering of Trump’s glorious nail clippings across the floor of the Oval Office. Design suggestions should be submitted as soon as possible considering Trump has stated in a previous press conference, “I just don’t have the time to put together my master design work on my own and I might just use the nuclear football before completion.” Conway finished with a plug for Barron Trump’s new fragrance, ‘Nobleboy’ with “hints of cotton-candy, oak bark, and peasant-soul.”

To finish out the press conference, President Donald “Justice” Trump flew a helicopter through the ceiling of the White House, into the press room. Declaring himself as “the new leader of Trumperica,” Trump proceeded to get on the podium and squawk like a lizard while rubbing his shoulders and back as a six-foot long scaly, metallic, shimmering tail burst out of his tailbone area.

Conway, seemingly used to this occurrence, comforted the mediated crowd crying, “This is normal! This is normal! We want this to happen!”

Trump continued to gather up all the journalists present into his arms, choking all the air out of their lungs, while also gnawing on the earlobes of each unconscious human. ___________________________________ Kirby Wilhelm is a second year Sociology major who mails the white house every day. You can reach him at kwilhelm@ithaca.edu.

BUZZSAW ASKS WHY…

Pop culture is always glorifying depression?

Pop culture always makes depression look super cool. I was talking with someone recently about our mutual hatred of Twenty One Pilots. My critique is pretty basic — I think they’re boring and hackneyed. My friend, however, pointed out something else: they profit on depression by making it an element of popular music. This isn’t to discredit the songwriters’ and fans’ genuineness or claim that people involved with the band aren’t feeling real things, but talking about sadness and depression is unfortunately becoming an element of pop style.

I would define pop style as taking a mish-mosh of different styles and throwing them into a tight structure that makes those styles palatable for mass audiences. For example, Chvrches takes synth heavy EDM styles and puts them into danceable versechorus song structures. In this case, Twenty One Pilots takes depressing lyrics and puts them over hip-hoplike beats and cool synth lines. The problem with this is it commercializes depression. As top 40 favorites, Twenty One Pilots’ songs are becoming new popular styles to be emulated in other pop music, and while it is good to bring conversations on mental health into the forefront, it is also dangerous to turn it into a cash cow. My fear is that depression turns into just a style and not an intimate topic written about by songwriters. This strips away the conversation and winds up simply glorifying depression as a popular commodity to have and not a serious issue that remains to have a stigma against it.

Your editor in patrician music taste, Jordan Aaron

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