Bully Motivational Magazine Volume V 2023

BULLY

Volume V 2023

A Motivational Magazine That Inspires

Y MAGAZIN L L E BU

BULLY MAGAZINE

2023

1st Annual Recognition Awards SPONSORED BY

Support Joeys Heart

HOSTED BY

Angel Bartlett & The Griffins

DRESS

Formal Attire

August 26 2023

@ Zeiders American Dream Theater 4509 Commerce Street, Virginia Beach VA 23462

Intro

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE VOL V 2023

Publishers

Kimberly & Warren Griffin

Editors

Kimberly & Warren Griffin

Graphic Designer

Lakshman Pushpakumara

Printing

Lan Manuel Print House Houston TX

Digital

ISSUU.com

For Advertisement Send Inquiries to

bullymagazine2020@gmail.com

Website

bullymotivationalmagazine2020.com

*These articles reflect only the opinions of the individual authors and are published with their permission. These articles are the authors’ present recollections of their own experiences over time.

Bully Magazine does not claim the comprehensiveness or accuracy of these articles.

Behind the doors of my Home

05

The Unity of Fatherhood

12

CONTENTS

Dominic Tierno

Warren A. Griffin

Dear Woman 16 Nitisha Morre

Be Authentically You 20 Quori Grand

Pain of Poet 24 Poet Denise Nissi Baskerville

Capturing the Beauty of Wellness

26

Moving Into The Next Chapter

28

Ronjeanna Harris

Coach Jamel White

The Healing Project 33 D. NISSI Baskerville

Honoring The Superwoman in you

35

PUSH – Pray Until Something Happens

38

Apostle Calvin Brown

Apostle Calvin Brown

I

was fortunate to be raised in South Orange County, California. It has a reputation for being an excellent place for children to grow up. It has some of the safest cities and suburbs with families of wealthy lifestyles. Still, there is a hidden story behind many of these family doors that people don’t realize since the outside foundation looks so perfect. Unfortunately, in my household, that was not the case!

I lived with my parents, who were married during my upbringing

until I was three years old, when they decided to part ways and divorce due to infidelity. My mom’s new man of interest soon became my stepdad, and my biological father had to accept the decision to remain a part of my sister’s and my life despite the pain. My stepdad would drop my sister and me off at the meeting area of a nearby parking lot; my dad had to face him each time during the pickup. I honored my father because he remained faithful and continued loving us regardless

of the situation; he was always there. I have various close friends that have been fatherless; I’m so grateful my dad pushed through the pain and stuck around. I’m so thankful for his fatherhood qualities because they saved me from experiencing a lot of emotional distress during the separation.

Since I don’t remember my parents being together as a couple, I decided to keep an old picture of them that was taken in a photo booth before I was born.

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 5

6 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

I laugh each time I look at them because they look weird. They are peaceful today, but they struggled to have a civil relationship for many years due to child support and custody conflicts.

As an Orange County student, many of my class peers seemed to live perfect lives; therefore, I felt odd knowing my situation at home with both my parents. It became a challenge at a young age, and I knew this was something that I would never allow my children to go through once I became a parent. They often fought, and I remember hiding under coffee tables at a young age while it went on. I knew it wasn’t right. It was only a couple of years when devastation fell into my mom’s new marriage, and she found out my stepdad cheated on her.

My mom became a single mother, and some would call it “karma,” which I don’t believe. At the time, I was six years old, so it was challenging to see her sad, but since I was so young, it was hard for me to understand all that happened. I always wanted my mom to be happy.

My biological father started dating and later got married to my stepmom, which was a joy because they continued to wed together. Likewise, my grandparents (father’s parents) provided a great example of unity; they’ve been together for over fifty-five years and understand the values of true love and marriage. I’m so grateful to have witnessed their dedication to each other growing up; this is why my father has so much loyalty in him, as he remained stable through the BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 7

separation between him and my mother.

Throughout all this, my mother drank alcohol frequently, which became a problem because she couldn’t control her habit after she and my stepdad divorced.

Her father passed away in 2006 from liver cancer, likely due to excessive alcohol use. Before that, my mom had thankfully admitted herself to “Alcoholics Anonymous” (AA) meetings since she was a single woman and her addiction became heavy. I attended these meetings with her at the age of eight and overheard all the stories of each person who was a program member. I remember them sharing stories of how their lives were ruined because of alcohol abuse. These conversations sparked my attention to never drink! I’ve never had the desire or used any alcohol because of the stories I heard at these meetings.

As I continued attending these sessions with my little sister, who was about five years old, I became accustomed to the routine and days mom was to participate in her meetings. The meetings helped my mom, and I noticed that our home life and relationship improved as she worked out much of the pain and trauma she had gone through.

When all was getting better, Mom later received more devastating news; this time, it involved her health. At thirty-four years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was another huge push for her. She was down for two years battling cancer while trying to find love again and later began having a relationship with 8 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

a man in the AA program. This relationship was imperfect, but I appreciated that he was there for my mom as she continued fighting cancer. I will never forget witnessing her shaving her head and becoming bald. My mom is a fighter and, with God’s help, would never lose the battle with cancer.

During all of this, there was plenty of arguing in the home between my mom and her new fiancé. I remember her sheltering my sister and me in the bathroom to keep us away from getting hurt when things became aggressive. One time it went on while my dad was there trying to pick us up to go to his house. Many very chaotic times like these became normal to me. I never understood why this was happening to me, and it didn’t feel comfortable on my emotions. As I became older, my mother would always apologize, and I always accepted it even if I was hurt because I loved and honored her.

When we’d go visit my dad, I’d tell him the things that were taking place in the home, but he never wanted to be involved; therefore, I had to continue retaining the painful emotions and suck it up since I didn’t have much of an outlet to release my fears. I continued going to school each day and tried to figure things out, and it became difficult to concentrate at times. As the months passed, my mother became healthy and beat breast cancer by the grace of God. During that time, we began attending church regularly, which was considered one of the best decisions my mom made for us,

During my early high school days, my mom met another man, and I found out my mother had relapsed and began drinking again with him. Church slowly became a place we didn’t go to anymore. ensuring my sister and I attended church services and had a relationship with God. As a youth group member, the seeds sown into my life touched my spirit. It was then I began to truly know God was with me and Jesus loved me as well. My mom and I had always said prayers growing up, but this began to give them meaning. I knew that I had always been protected by God no matter what was going on and that He had a plan and purpose for my life. I remember crying one night in bed because I was so grateful to Him. As I finished middle school and headed toward high school, my mom had been married and divorced another time with a similar kind of story. All the moving around and fighting had become background noise, and I learned to enjoy life despite the challenges. My relationship with my biological father remained steady, and he was always taking my sister and me to do fun things together. At this time, God revealed my interest and talent

in Film and making videos, and I was excited to do that with my friends. It was probably the best time of my childhood, and I never correlated until later that it was because it was the closest I was walking with the Lord.

During my early high school days, my mom met another man, and I found out my mother had relapsed and began drinking again with him. Church slowly became a place we didn’t go to anymore. My new (third) stepdad was not a good influence on my mother’s condition; he’d always convince her to submit back to drinking again. I knew it wouldn’t be good and would tell her this. I was much more mature now and understood what was going on. I watched my mom slip back into a worse state than ever with him.

We had plenty of fun, I had my things going on, being in school and sports and having friends, but often our home life became uncontrollable. They would fight worse than I’d ever seen before, fueled by the drinking and hard drugs we eventually learned he was doing.

Witnessing this as a high school student was painful; I was learning to experience my identity as a teenager, and social media being so huge and talked about was hard to process. I was desperately trying to seek out the healing of my traumas, and with mental health being at the forefront of my struggles, I wanted to know my purpose since we no longer attended church. Being a part of the church was the stable foundation that put me at ease and provided me with security.

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 9

However, I began losing my relationship with God and sought His guidance as a last resort. I knew I needed a spiritual anchor with all that was happening in my home surroundings, but I was lost and confused. My only outlet during that time was my creative work in making films.

The skill allowed me to concentrate more on academics and begin submitting college applications. I received an acceptance letter from Penn State University with a full scholarship. With the significant advancements that I could achieve in my life, there came the point where I refused to continue staying in my mom’s home. I knew my concentration would need to be well-balanced; therefore, I told her it would be best for me to leave that situation with that stepdad. It was one of the most challenging decisions I had to make because I loved my mom and had been by her side through it all.

10 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

Mom has always been our biggest fan; she never gave up on either of her children. Despite her mistakes and situations with men, we were never left without food, clothing, or shelter. I love my mother and will always forgive her because she’s done her best! That said, I knew I was reaching adulthood, and it was best for me to begin preparing for my future. I considered majoring in Finance to start my own business, but Film has been my passion since the age of fourteen years old. It has been my outlet to express and release the pain and suffering of depression and anxiety that I was experiencing.

The engagement of filming became my comfort, and the skill has also allowed me to help others overcome their life challenges. Creating documentaries has become an excellent outlet for me to shed light on mental health and drug and opioid fentanyl awareness. I’ve learned to connect with individuals spiritually,

helping them to find hope during their troubled times.

I was blessed to never indulge in drugs and fall into addiction.

The AA sessions I sat in with my mother were a standpoint for me never to use them. I did experience the effects of Xanax due to my anxiety attacks and desperation to want the episodes to subside. God’s protection continued to cover me even when I wasn’t paying much attention to Him because they were not laced with the deadly synthetic poison fentanyl. I’m grateful I escaped becoming another statistic of these pills. I became passionate about spreading awareness of fentanyl by creating a documentary series of users’ lived experiences. I’ll also create a new documentary series titled; “Guard your Heart.”

It will deliver the adverse effects of social media and popular music. Today’s children and young teens must guard their hearts and souls. Due to all the negative

influences in the world, many children fall into a dark place, which becomes a big problem. Social media has begun to damage their minds with each scroll of engagement, the negativity starts to consume their thoughts, and each day it becomes a harmful routine.

I believe pointing them toward the light and encouraging them to discover their God-given gifts will help them focus positively on their futures.

MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE

John 16:33 Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, that you may have peace in me.

In the world, you will have tribulation but take heart; I have overcome the world.”

- Dominic Tierno -

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 11

W

hile sitting on my couch watching the Superbowl XVII’s opening comments, a tear fell down my cheek. This tear was significant since I was told by several close family members that I lack emotions. At that moment, I believe I was in awe when my emotions immediately touched me as I witnessed two African American QB 1’s play in the largest game.

I felt a sense of joy as I watched these two African American men on the TV screen. I immediately envisioned them being raised by responsible fathers who were active in their upbringing.

That moment had me feeling joyful, not because of the game but because these two black men were raised by black fathers who were active in their upbringing.

The symbolic nature of that television’s information spoke volumes from coast to coast and worldwide.

The stigmatism of black fathers not being in the home was broken 12 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

down with every word the commentators said. Yet, as I watched these two young African American men put on a show and undeniably one of the greatest Superbowl played in some time, I still couldn’t help but remember that these two young men were not only coached by their fathers but were taught to carry themselves with class and respect.

each young African American man or woman, and this historical moment shall deliver encouragement to support sportsmanship with family values.

I’d like to send a positive message to all African American dads, As I salute you In the African American community, fathers are more active for helping to change in their children’s lives today, in my opinion, I believe they feel the narrative. Conthe need to give their children tinue to shine and what they didn’t have, and that’s a positive role model to emulate as make sure you care they reach manhood. As I scroll through the social media platforms for your children, that I desire, I can’t help but see so every child requires many men playing active roles in their son’s and daughters’ lives. For love from a mom but that reason, it makes me proud to be a part of this time in existence. more importantWhen I was growing up, many ly their future is fathers were absent from the home.

I’m one of those children who brighter with a Dad didn’t have a father growing up, therefore, I can relate to the many in their life. men and women who had to navigate this world and learn on the fly.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there were many dad’s in the home during that time, but in my world, it seemed rare. I’m hopeful for our future because, with opportunity and resources, I believe the African American fathers shall continue to prosper when in the home, and being active in the children’s lives will become the norm. This symbolic moment in history will help guide the path and act as a catalyst for future generations because this moment will be played back from time to time. This moment will become a positive identifier for

Signing out, remember to keep GOD first in all you do!

Warren A. Griffin

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 13

JM Hoodie’s available for purchase

14 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

BULLY

M

A

G

A

Z

I

N

E

DOCU - SERIES

Sharing Testimonies of Possiblities

• Hope• Dedication..

RELEASING STORIES FILLED WITH A PURPOSE TO TOUCH THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO DESIRE A CALLING

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 15

Dear

Woman !

Dear Woman!

You are seen... not simply by those who view your physical attributes and diminish them to comparison.

You are seen by eyes that respect your mind, loves your heart, and are inspired by your brave exposures.

16 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

DEAR WOMAN!

DEAR WOMAN!

You are safe... from the fear of mishandling, misjudgment, and misunderstanding. You are safe... to want it, go after it, and achieve it.

You are both silk and steel. This beautiful contradiction is a light on a hill to younger generations.

It is the intertwining of your gifts and failures that fuels your purpose and defines your uniqueness.

DEAR WOMAN! You are Strength.. you have shaken rivers from your eyes, yet you haven’t drowned. You forged ahead to freedom, liberation, and revelation of self-worth. You’ve risen from a history-titled survivor with a stride of a thriver.

DEAR WOMAN! You persevere.. the challenges of your day.

The entire purpose of the United States of America’s constitution is to guarantee the right to determine the course of your own life.

Yet on June 24, 2022, the Supreme court decided that American states can outlaw abortion thus taking away a woman’s right to choose.

DEAR WOMAN! You are Steel.. The Mocking of your God-given empathy and The aggressive tone used to characterize your nurturing, empathetic nature Is unsurprisingly familiar in all areas of your history. This same hardly veiled discrimination is experienced in the personal and professional lives of women. your steel endurance has been displayed during the hardest of moments through gritted teeth, frustration, hurt, and disappointment with a smile!

DEAR WOMAN! I shout through the words of this writing that YOU are not invisible.

I am with you, says your Heavenly Father.

This voice that reaches you with a depth of complete understanding, breaks all boundaries, healing you as you worship. It is this voice that we must not underestimate.

God tackles the embedded sin that is woven into the fabric of who you are shattering glass ceilings. Your complexity and human nature are not hidden from Him. We move towards acquaintance with the voice of God as we submit. He works with us to arrive at righteousness clearing the heart, mind, and soul. Destroying with truth and self-inflicted wounds that were meant to destroy you. God works in you, He gets involved in all areas of your life kneading out the lies of this sinful world. Your confidence is formed and rooted to encourage and empower others. Submerging our will totally to the will of God is the ability to overcome ALL of life’s experiences. It is in the hands of the creator that we operate from the overflow of love in all we do. Confidence in His effective

efficiency is birthed in your prayer closet completing transformation and healthy heart posture.

Dear Woman, your God has made a way for your heart!

O Lord, you have searched and discovered me. You know when I sit down and when I rise, as you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down the acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.”

Psalms 139:1-6 NRSV Minister Nitisha Moore

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 17

Speaks Up! A Children’s Anti-Bullying Book speaks about the importance of being okay with being different and loving who you are, speaking up to someone you trust about being bullied. Sharing awareness about kindness, why it matters, and how it encourages kids to be upstanders for each other. It’s not okay to be bullied, but it is okay to be a friend. We need to embrace each others’ differences in a world that includes all kinds of people from all walks of life.

Each response is overwhelmingly positive. Devin Speaks Up makes it easy to start the antibullying conversation at a young age. It’s

18 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

important to understand that we can’t wait to talk about bullying.

The consequences of waiting are harmful. The kids are eager to be upstanders. Young kids are excited to tell me - Devin Speaks Up, and I will too!

To read more about this book, scan the QR code to get your copy of

Devin Speaks Up!

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 19

Authentically

I

n a world where you can be anything, choose to be your most genuine, authentic self. Many would consider it risky, but it’s a healthy choice. The things that you try to suppress – the things that you might dislike or want to change about yourself are the very things that attract other people to you. It’s admirable when we make self-improvements and even better when we reinvent ourselves because we are all a work in progress, but at the very core of it all, you must be authentically you.

There’s no need to try to fit in, be liked, or be accepted by others.

Everything falls in place when you’re yourself. Allow life’s experiences to refine you, but never allow situations or people to define you based on your past.

20 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

Remember that it is not only your thoughts but also your actions that made you who you are today, but that does not mean that you have to remain that person if it is not conducive to your growth and progression. It makes you more authentic when you use obstacles and unfavorable circumstances to become a better version of yourself. Don’t be confused or misled into thinking and believing that you’re less “real” when you make improvements to yourself. Remain honest and sincere to yourself in every area of your life; you will never have a problem looking at yourself in the mirror. Having integrity will allow you to sleep well at night, and it also causes you to be secure with everything within yourself when you wake up in the morning.

Here’s something to consider: the model of yourself that you offer to others can become an inaccurate representation of who you are if you’re not living your truth or your words don’t align with your actions. This realization has become commonplace in the virtual world, especially. You can’t just talk the talk. You must walk it like you talk it and be sincere with it. It’s easy to say what you can or will do. The real challenge is in the execution of your words, and consistency is a crucial factor.

As the ever-evolving species that we are, most of us operate on the honor and trust system, right? If you’re honest, you gain more trust from your peers, or at the very least you earn the trust of those you encounter along your journey.

Your trustworthiness will grow when you’re honorable and consistent in your actions. Wouldn’t

you agree?

Your moves and how you live your life will always authenticate who you are. So instead of saying what you can or when you will do something, show what you can do and end all speculation.

That’s the only way; truth be told, there’s no other way around it. If you’ve ever had difficulties getting others to understand you or even take you seriously, it’s probably because your actions don’t align with your words. Remember that what you say you’ll do will not make an impact unless backed up by effort, so don’t just talk your talk – walk it like you talk it.

Oddly, fear of what others may say or think has caused so many people to relinquish their ability to live an authentic life, and as a result, they weren’t able to shine as brightly as they should have.

authentic life and let the world see! You’re an inspiration, and you have something valuable to offer. Don’t deny yourself or others the opportunity to experience the greatness that lies within you.

As children, we were molded by our parents, teachers, friends, and even religions to fit into social norms. In the end, we developed thoughts, behaviors, and opinions of how we should live, and in that, the inauthenticity was created for so many individuals. From that came an adaptive life as opposed to an authentic life. Adaptive life is just what it sounds like – adjusting to the conditions or surroundings to fit in. Now make no mistake about it; we all have to adapt to certain things in life, but if it involves compromising your integrity or if you’re

Understandably, we all have seeds of greatness, which could also be your gift. We all have a job or a mission while we’re here: to bring that goodness that lives on the inside of us to the outside and share it with the world! Think about it this way, when you’re given a gift, you don’t leave it wrapped up in the box and put it away and forget about it, do you? I would certainly hope not. You’ll most likely unwrap it and show it to someone, right?

Well, the same applies to you and your life. Be authentic and live an BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 21

left feeling trapped, then by all means, reconsider your actions.

One of the best things you can do to discover your authentic self is to pay close attention to yourself.

Notice the things that you do that make you feel good about yourself. While you’re at it, don’t be afraid to question yourself and your motives. People often neglect to ask themselves the “hard questions,” which can lead them to either be dishonest or fabricate certain aspects of their lives in exchange for acceptance. Selflove and facing your fears will also bring forth the truth about yourself. People who love themselves are generally honest with themselves. Would you agree?

Love does not lie.

Please know that it is all a process, and like anything that matters to you, you must trust the process the whole way through.

Doubt will only set you back, which will cause more confusion in return. It’s virtually impossible to keep it real with others if you can’t keep it real with yourself, so don’t set out to do what others are doing just because it’s the new trend. Instead, find your lane and stay in it. When you do that, you’ll notice less clutter in your life and things will undoubtedly flow a lot smoother for you. Make sure that whatever you do, you do it as your authentic self, and you’ll develop more self-respect.

- Quori Grands -

22 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

Emerging Documentary Filmmaker creating content to send awareness

www.domoinictierno.com BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 23

PAIN POET of

2020 Written by D. NISSI Baskerville-MSW

SORRY MOMMA I didn’t make you proud sorry I made you cry so loud I know you hung your head in shame when the judge & jury called my name I counted your tears when I sentenced to 100 years SORRY MOMMA I didn’t listen to your truth the streets convinced me that I was bullet proof in God you believed by the Devil I was deceived SORRY MOMMA I asking you to please pray for your little boy that went astray the son you lost to the hard -cold streets doing hard time in the belly of the beast SORRY MOMMA I miss your sweet face I am ashamed such a disgrace I wish to God I could leave this wicked place uneducated boys in jail become sex toys behind these bars I try and hide my scars I’m a number not a man I now understand when you take the wrong path you suffer the aftermath SORRY MOMMA I was damaged from childhood trauma but I love you momma my heart was hardened by hate and regret please momma don’t you fret in this place of a living hell late at night in the silence of my cell I apologize for not making you proud I can still hear you crying out loud..

24 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

v A

a l i a

e l b

NOW SCAN TO BUY

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 25

Capturing

THE

BEAUTYof

W

e often discuss the dos of Wellness, which is deeply needed.

The implementation of consistent with applying healthy wellness practices is so imperative. This consistency is due to our body, mind, and soul.

Living a healthy life inside and outside should be a daily strive. I want to discuss capturing the Beauty of Wellness as the focus of this article.

Wellness is a state of being achieved through practices promoting mental and physical health. It is more than just the absence of disease but a state of optimal physical, mental, and social well-being. Wellness is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-care, where you learn to listen to your body, mind, and soul and make choices that enrich your life. Wellness means taking the time to relax, practice mindfulness, and practice self-love.

26 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

WELLNESS

It is about creating a lifestyle that nourishes your spirit. Wellness is ultimately about living a life of balance, joy, and contentment.

Beauty is breathtaking, with exquisite inner creativity that makes the outer surface glow.

It is humble and powerful at the same time. I examine how this type of capturing can be integrated with the thought process of Wellness. Knowing the depth of applying this concept to Wellness involves a self-care routine, another level of self-awareness.

This step will make appropriate strategies for your Wellness with total care packages of excellence.

This strategy will require sound thought processing and mindful relaxation. The expected results; • • • •

You will love yourself even more.

You will be happier with the discovery.

You will be ignited to pre serve this capture.

You will begin to be more balance in your creativity.

God makes all things beautiful.

So, we must embrace all of the areas of our beauty, including the importance of capturing your beauty of Wellness. Be blessed and be well.

Your Wellness Coach, - Ronjeanna Harris -

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 27

Moving Into THE

NEXT CHAPTER

H

appy New Year, my fellow health and wellness warriors.

As always, let’s get to it ---- there is no better way to start this auspicious 2023 than to reflect on the previous year’s lessons.

Stephanie Killin said it best: “life is the best teacher.” And just as it is, it will not tolerate slothfulness for long. It is always throwing complex problems your way and then seeing what you do about it.

So many of us have made health promotion a priority in 2022.

We moved muscles, changed thoughts, and strived for pro28 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

gress, not perfection.

Let us now take a few minutes to recap as we move into this next chapter. Massive pecs, big biceps, and for my ladies, apple bottoms (no doubt look incredible), but that buffed beach look, tight shirt, or clinging skirt at the lounge looks good but only goes so far.

For all intents and purposes, they won’t make us more functionally fit, healthier, or better at anything besides posing and maybe seduction. Actual health and fitness, my friends, is a different monster.

A well-rounded training program

is far superior to an hour on the hamster wheel or a few repetitive isolation exercises. So, to my friends who go to the gym just for that hour on the treadmill. Or my ladies who annihilate the gluteal (butt) muscles with the same four exercises over and over every visit.

Add variety and congruity to your program and watch the improvements you are looking for come to life, better muscle tone (shape), fat loss, and improved strength and balance. You can still get

cardio (aerobic work) if that is something vital to you but change it up with interval training and challenge yourself with different equipment. I guarantee your results will be profound.

A typical response from your average gym head is, “I live in the gym; it is my favorite place”; it’s a loose phrase, and I get where the energy comes from, but the reality is that we spend eighty percent of our time elsewhere, outside of a gym. Not to mention those who may only eke out a few workouts a week at best. But putting things into perspective, everyone does not want to be a bodybuilder.

Health Promotion is not about big muscles or athletics but about life. To quote my grandfather, “we only get old if we live.” And taking care of your health is a prerequisite. So, lesson --- “It is not one thing you do, but everything you do, your lifestyle, determines your physical and mental well-being.

How about people, places, and things? As much as we would like, it is impossible to avoid negativity; it’s just our world. We want to be informed, but grinding your teeth every time you watch the news or hanging around negative people (family, friends, or co-workers) with trivial dispositions chips away at your peace.”

Is it easier to pull someone down than it’s to pick them up?.” Yes – you get my point ---stay away from the brain drains. Remember that when you are around people who suck your positive energy.

Coping skills are essential; I am not suggesting you run from life.

Instead, feed your mind with BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 29

usefulness as you do your body.

Protect your Peace!

Company and camaraderie are big motivators. We have learned that hitting the gym with a friend or companion is excellent. Training with a friend improves your strength and skill significantly over time compared to going it alone. You push yourself harder and get fired up when someone is there.

The caveat, however, is that all training buddies are not created equal. It can be dangerous if you are a novice with inexperienced training partners. I often see beginners try to coach exercises they do not understand; spotting (correctly) is nonexistent, and watching this fiasco usually makes many of us cringe. People laugh at the accidents or when people overreach and fail, but ninety percent of it could have been avoided by spotting correctly and using safety protocols.

Gym etiquette aside, the willingness to help comes from a good place. You might say we all had to start from somewhere---and we all did. My advice is to play smart. The world has much more helpful information available than it used to. There are tutorials and plenty of innovative ways to train and learn than by the archaic “no pain, no gain.” Or Simon says do this!

We are brighter than a troglodyte.

The lesson here is – Being physical is an intellectual activity—not just picking things up and putting them down –Play smart, have a personal plan, and use your resources. If you do train with a 30 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

buddy, make sure at least they understand gym safety 101 and do not have you doing acrobats or trying to kill you on the first workout.

My father used to be big on observing people – he would sit with me early in life and say, “Mel,” you can learn a lot from watching. Of course, dad’s wisdom was about making a point; in this case, he pointed out individual characteristics’ leaders vs. followers, ambitious people vs. trying to blend in or be invisible.

In the gym, like the park bench, I would watch people when I saw someone flailing and failing. I would tactfully extend professional courtesy and direct them in a more fruitful direction. These were great teaching opportunities back then.

Nonetheless, canvassing the floor over the years became the purview of the younger, new trainers.

However, I have learned over the years and years that people have special attachments to how they want to exercise, no matter how antiquated or potentially dangerous.

Let us use the bench press as a quick example. A popular massive upper-body strength exercise.

(People kill their shoulders on this one) But there is a way to benchpress so you have the best leverage, joint angles, and alignment.

Torquing the body and joints in unsafe positions is where all the problems are. We can discuss hand position, range of motion, body contact with the bench, breathing, and grip. Lifting is more than plopping down on a bench

and moving a bar. But like most things in life, we are creatures of habit. The old “I know syndrome” is hard to break. Albert Einstein says it best: “any fool can know the point is to understand.” The lesson here—anything worth doing is worth doing right!

I am still checking people out these days, and I like what I see for the most part. People are more health-conscious and self-driven. Some real fitness chasers are doing phenomenal work – and I hope you are one of them.

This group of grinders has figured it out! Results come from a real commitment --over time. It is not a pill, a quick fix, starving yourself, or what somebody else is doing. It is the person you compete with within the mirror- be the best version of yourself.

Nonetheless, the folks I am referring to rival any intense Cross Fitter or Orange Theory All-Out programmer. They understand the code---and It does not have to be super complicated. There is no 1, 2, 3, 4. rep counting freshly minted trainers trying to work them into exhaustion. No training partners were preoccupied with watching the girls and not spotting correctly.

It is them, their gym bag, under-amour cross-training sneak-

ers, chalk, and water bottle. So what is the lesson learned ----- In the words of the great Denzel Washington, “Without commitment, you will never start, but more importantly, without consistency, you will never finish.”

Physical activity and exercise are often used interchangeably, but for our brief talk, let us use the definition of --- the American College of Sports Medicine to define the differences. Physical activity is any movement conducted by the muscles that require energy— in other words, moving around all day at your job, for instance.

Exercise, by definition, is planned, structured, repetitive, and intentional movement. Exercise is also intended to improve or maintain physical fitness.

Now we understand that we all are at different stages of our lives. Many of us are in chairs all day or behind the wheel. We eat out of boredom: we eat socially with friends, on dates, at business meetings, watching T.V., during coffee breaks, you name it: any chance we get, we feel the need to shovel something into our faces. Not to complicate the complicated but combine aging and its association with changes in body composition, loss of muscle, gains in total body fat, and visceral (stomach fat). Along with changes to our endocrine function (reduced testosterone, growth hormone, and estrogen levels), It is funny because it is like a car.

We wax the outside, shine the wheels and add air freshers. Like putting on nice clothes and cologne or perfumes) Nevertheless, we barely, if at all, do preventative maintenance.

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 31

Unless a light comes on, the car breaks down, which is precisely what most of us do with our bodies – we wear them down every day- work, work, work! Until something happens. We get sick or can’t get out of bed and become dumbfounded about what happened. But the engine light has been going off --- the doctor said --- my belly is way over my belt, I have high blood pressure, my sugar is out of control, and I need to do an MRI for my joint pain.

The last lesson is to be proactive--- Exercise is our best therapy. We know this reactive – story well because we live it every day.

Being able to work your job painfree and have a quality of life is something that we all need and want. Moreover, irrefutable evidence shows exercise’s beneficial effects on preventing and treating several diseases. A well-balanced exercise program and attention to their lifestyle are how the winners are doing it --- they are consistent and care enough to put in the work, even when no one is watching. Aerobics, Flexibility/ Mobility, Core or Trunk exercises, Balance, and Strength Training.

Let us capitalize on and use the old 2022 lessons and build on them in 2023.

As always in Health Promotion---I wish everyone love and peace; stay strong!

- Coach Mel -

FITNESS TALK at EMAIL: ironmel400@yahoo.com

FACEBOOK/INSTAGRAM@ PerformancePlusMel LINKEDIN@ Jamel White M.S., P.E.S., C.E.S., C.S.S.

32 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

HEALING PROJECT

The “Healing Project” is a humanitarian before and after life-changing blueprint. Every life has a story; and every story has two very powerful components, joy & pain. Every individual you meet is fighting an internal battle of mind, body, or soul. It has been my experience that life is a series of before & after events. Conversely, there are episodes or life-altering events that some people never recover from. They remain fixed, wounded, and bleeding for years, and others a lifetime. This research project is designed to pull the curtain back and take a serious look at suffering, sorrow, and joy. The long-term implications of pain, shame, guilt, regret, and how we recover and recapture our spiritual equilibrium and move on with life. How do you pick up the broken pieces from sickness, setbacks, secrets, and self-hate, and evict yourself from that place

2023

of pain? What made you stop running from the “truth” and how did you regain your joy, love, and happiness?

(Please list only one event) Please give the date of this event.

In your best description please describe in detail what hapGoal 1. The Healing Project: list pened, that created joy, and the event that changed, shattered, happiness in your life. Please and disrupted your life. (Please reveal, the person, place, thing, list only one event) Please give or act. Who was involved in this the date of this event. event, how long did it last, and In your best description, please does it still bring you joy, have describe what happened, who you shared this event with loved helped you if anyone, where the ones, family, close friends, and event occurred, how long you people in your life? If so who, if endured the pain, who was the not why not. blame, and who was the person, place, and thing. How were you #The Healing Project, thank you able to pull yourself together? Do for your time, and commitment you still suffer emotionally from to completing processes, in addithis life-altering event? If so, tion, you can remain anonymous. explain the methods or practices I need (100) hundred people to you employ to regain your sense please forward your responses of self-love. to (dbaskerville51@yahoo.com Goal 2. The Healing Project: list the event that has brought you PROJECT DEVELOPER the most joy in your life to date.

D. NISSI Baskerville-MSW BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 33

LETITIA COUNCIL Letitia Council is an Eastern Shore Native who resides in Portsmouth, Virginia. Letitia is a 4x’s Amazon Best Seller’s Author and is the Author of “Hope for Grieving Mother’s”, 12-Day Devotional Journal. She is also the Founder and President of The Nasia Foundation (Traumatic Brain Injury).

She has been nominated for Nonprofit Leader with Sister’s Leaders Conference, been awarded Nonprofit Executive Leader 2021

by ACHI Magazine Awards, and nominated for Nonprofit Leader, Woman of Influence & Woman on the Rise by ACHI Magazine 2022.

She was featured in Voyage ATL in 2021, featured on the Power Leaders and Grace Show twice, and Big Mind Entertainment, seen on Coast Live. Letitia loves to spend time with her loving devoted husband and her amazing

34 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

children.

Letitia loves to share her story about how Traumatic Brain Injury caused her to lack “Hope” and how TBI and God helped her rise from the ashes of her trauma. Letitia is also the founder of the Women on the Move Conference. Uplifting women on many journeys, inspiring them to keep the faith, stay the course, and encouraging them that Hope isn’t lost. Letitia cared for her daughter, who sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury in 2019 up until God called her home. Her mission to assist TBI Caregivers is her passion, her purpose, and a part of her healing.

Welcome to the Team!

Facebook & Instagram @TheNasiaFoundation @ LetitiaCouncil LinkedIn @Letitia Council Website: www.letitiacouncil.com Website: www.thenasiafoundation.org

HONORING

THE SUPER

WOMAN IN YOU

H

ave you ever wondered if you were enough?

Did watching those around you make you feel like you weren’t doing enough? Has scrolling on social media left you feeling like you do not have enough? If you answered yes to these questions, queen, I’m taking the time to honor you. You are more than enough! You do enough! You have enough!

And everything you need is already inside of you!

March is Women’s History Month, and this year I wanted to do something different by honoring the women in my life who turned their pain into purpose. To be a true Superwoman, one must know what it feels like not to be super. To truly understand how to save people, she must have needed saving. Her resilience and life’s purpose kept her from throwing in the towel and becoming the villain in others’ lives. After going within to push through, she came on the other side with purpose in her hands, renewed mind, and healed heart. She embraced the truth that it’s not her circumstances that changed, but her mindset around it, sparking the journey of her inspiring others to do the same.

I interviewed amazing women who serve as therapists,

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 35

36 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

teachers, community activists, mentors, leaders, womanprenuers and so much more. Each provided insight on how to keep pressing even when life tells you not to. The ladies participated in an interview with me, discussing who they were, what they do, why they do it, and where they would like to see themselves.

They also joined the I’m Enough Movement to inspire other women to know that they are enough!

This movement was designed to facilitate wholeness in you when you are done with the feeling of brokenness brought on by living a life you believe others want you to live. This short statement is meant to boost your self-esteem with the hopes of increasing the presence of happiness within your inner self, resulting in a true, fulfilled life. Learning the art of just being you is the first step to transitioning from a caterpillar to the beautiful butterfly you are designed to be!

COMING SOON Believe in

My SPECIAL NEEDS - LLC SUPPORTIVE IN-HOME SERVICES

for individuals with developmental disabilities serving the 7 cities of the Hampton roads area of Virginia

If you are ready to go from broken to whole, check out the Superwoman interviews on the Transforming with Mylira YouTube Channel. If you would like to be a part of the movement, check out the I’m Enough Movement Store at www.myliratransforms. com/shop! We hope that this project inspires you to keep going and not to give up, for life is not happening to you but to you! Keep pressing forward for YOU ARE ENOUGH! Mylira Green LCSW, CCTP-II

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 37

PUSH

PRAY Until Something Happens

T

here’s often this illusion that we fill like our prayers will not be answered, but we must believe that God will answer them when he’s ready to fulfill that prayer.

God’s timing is better than ours, so we must continue praying and waiting on him through our faith.

I don’t know about you, but I have prayed for many things and am still awaiting the results. Until they manifest or until the Holy Spirit says otherwise, I will keep 38 BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE

praying for them because I trust the Lord God. So please consider examining your prayer requests by ensuring God receives all the glory. The reason for highlighting the examination of prayer requests is for believers never to omit God’s glory from each manifestation.

As you keep praying, please remember the Lord wants us to keep praying, as seen in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Pray without ceasing is not referring to praying continuously without taking a break because that’s impossible, but it translates to praying for the request to manifest. This also highlights that patience is needed and anxiousness must be absent.

Praying for something to manifest is not easy when we have a need.

Most needs are associated with a timeframe that could weigh heavy on a person who just prayed to God. If time is a factor, please remember that all things are possible with God, and He is not moved by time. He can manifest things faster than expected, and some things come when it seems time is about to run out. Keep praying!

Throughout the Gospels, you will see that Christ Jesus was always praying. Everything He prayed for manifested to the glory of the Father. As we imitate Him, we must expect the same results. Our Lord kept praying and praying, and His results were phenomenal. As we pray until something happens, our results will be exceptional too. We shouldn’t pray for a thing one time and let the prayer sit.

We must pray about it repeatedly, not setting and forgetting it like a George Foreman grill. Let’s indeed remind the Lord of His word each time we pray.

Isaiah 43:26: Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.

Let’s be persistent and confident in praying, believing the manifestation is near. It is easy to lose confidence because we are used to having control of most situations, but we must humble ourselves and let God be God. One of the main factors of praying is to give it to God, but please keep giving it to Him. Once we give it to Him, we must keep watering it with the same prayers so the manifestation can sprout. Unfortunately, some Believers become very uncomfortable when they don’t have control which influenc-

es them to make bad decisions like cease praying. Please don’t let this be you!

Luke 18:1; “Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart.”

You and I will, however, press on trusting and believing in the Lord God to answer our prayers in His timing. We have so many testimonies and witnessed miracles, signs, and wonders that we know He hears us. Amazingly, He simultaneously hears so many saints and answers them accordingly with yes, no, and or manifestations. Either way, He knows

what’s best for us, and as we keep praying, we get closer to the manifestations. So let’s ensure we spend more time with Him in prayer, and when we come out of prayer, may we bring forth fruits and not darkness.

Psalm 116:2; “Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.”

Lastly, please don’t allow distractions to get in the way of your praying. The enemy wants you to give up and lose faith. He doesn’t want you to wait on the Lord God. He wants you to reject God, but

that won’t happen. You are going to keep praying and trusting in the Lord God to provide the answer to your prayers. Please know it is well worth the wait, especially if you know He will get more glory. Pray until something happens requires you to keep praying until you see the manifestation of what you prayed for. I am touching and agreeing with you that what you pray to the Lord God about will also bring Him more glory. Trust and believe!

Apostle Dr. Calvin Brown

BULLY MOTIVATIONAL MAGAZINE 39