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Willie Defines lt

Teacher: "Willie, define the word 'Puncture'."

Willie: "A puncture is a hole in a tire usually found a great distance from a garage."

Henry Von Dyke Wrole:

Lord, let me never tag a moral to a tale, nor tell a story without a meaning. Make me respect my material so much that I dare not slight my work. Help me to deal honestly with words and people, for they are both alive. Show me that as in a river, so in a writing, clearness is the best quality, and a little that is pure is worth more than much that is mixed.

Teach me to see the local color without being blind to the inner light.

Give me an ideal that will stand the strain of weaving into human stufr on the loom of the real.

Keep me from caring more for books than for folks, for art than for life.

Steady me to do the full stint of work as well as I can; and when that is done, stop me; pay what wages Thou wilt, and help me to say from a quiet heart a grateful Amen.

Wqs lt Nice?

A general and a colonel were walking down the street together. They met many privates and each time the colonel saluted one, the general heard him mutter, "So are you."

The general's curiosity got the better of him and he asked, "Why do you keep saying that?"

The colonel replied, "I was a private once myself, and I know what they are thinking."

Emerson Wrotes

"God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please-you can never have both. Between these, as a pendulum, man oscillates. He in whom the love of repose predominates will accept the first religious creed, the first philosophy, the first political party he meetsmost likely his father's. He gets rest, commodity, and reputation; but he shuts the door of truth. He in whom the love of truth predominates will keep himself aloof from all moorings, and afloat. He will abstain from dogmatism, and recognize all the opposite negations be- tween which, as walls, his being is swung. He submits to the inconvenience of suspense and imperfect opinion, but he is a candidate for truth, as the other is not, and respects the highest law of his being."

Too Much SPelling

A boy entered a country store and asked the storekeeper for a dime's worth of asafoetida. The storekeeper wrapped it up and handed it to the lad, who said, "Pa said to charge it.tt

The storekeeper said, "All right. What's your name?" "Shermerhorn," said the boy.

The storekeeper said, "You can have it for nothing. I ain't going to write asafoetida and Shermerhorn for no dime."

Boqrders (Anonymous)

Under the cherry tree I spread Pieces of apple, crusts of breadA whir of wings, and the boarders come Down from each cozy treetop home.

Robins, thrushes, and here a crowd Of poor relations, the sparrows loud; A cardinal flutters his plumage red, Whistling, "I never did care for breadChange your menu if you want me To keep my lease on your maple tree."

So I look in the bird books and try to find What each boarder has in his mind. For I want to keep themthey're splendid pay' As they sing for their breakfast, every day.

rhey had b""" "i.f"sc;il'.t'*:in the moonright. No word broke the stillness for half an hour until"suppose you had money," said the girl. "Would you travel ?"

He threw out his chest in all the glory of young manhood. "I'd travel," he said,

He felt her warm young hand slide into his. When he looked up, she was gone.

But in his hand was a nickel.