The Brunswickan, Issue 1, Vol. 155

First Annual Truth and Reconciliation Day a Solemn One: Thursday, September 30, marked the first federally-recognized Truth and Reconciliation Day in Canada.

Harvest Jazz and Blues: Visually experience Fredericton’s first large-scale music event since the start of the pandemic.

The Brunswickan Canada’s Oldest Official Student Publication

About Us

The Brunswickan, in its 154th year of publication, is Canada’s oldest official student publication.

We are an autonomous student publication owned and operated

by Brunswickan Publishing Inc. a nonprofit, independent body.

We are also a founding member of the Canadian University Press.

Now a magazine, we publish monthly during the academic year with a circulation of 300. We publish weekly online at Thebruns.ca. @thebrunswickan

Staff Reporters Quintina Northrup David Bunce Creative Team Olivia Chenier Joe Jonah Social Media Manager Emily Titus Editor-in-Chief Marlowe Evans

Editorial Policy Business Manager Stuart Wallace While we endeavour to provide an open forum for a variety of viewpoints and ideas, we may refuse any submission considered by the Editorial Board to be racist, sexist, libellous or in any way discriminatory.

The opinions and views expressed in this publication are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Brunswickan, its Editorial Board or its Board of Directors.

All editorial content appearing in The Brunswickan is the property of Brunswickan Publishing Inc. Stories, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the express, written permission of the Editor-in-Chief.

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Creative Director Olivia Chenier News Editor Taylor Chalker Arts & Lifestyle Editor Incé Husain Ad Manager Kristen Connolly Multimedia Editor Joe Jonah Copy Editor Melissa Spohr

Letter From the Editor Dear Reader, In our fall-themed October magazine, you will turn through the pages and find not only a snapshot of the community in autumn, but visions of harvest-time.

It’s tired of me to bring COVID into this, but in this weird inbetween world where we’ve only taken a few baby steps out of our burrows, just to be smacked on the head again by the dangers of this ever-present illness, it seems like instead of being able to rejoice in the renewal and rebirth of fall, we’re seemingly being forced into an early winter.

So our team worked together to capture not only the most relevant news of the day, but also the most relevant feelings of the autumn season in this edition. Can you take a moment to bask in that? To enjoy the extra effort we put into the pages, the texture, and the music? Put on the playlist we made; make yourself the pumpkin spice latté. Read the stories, experience them as deeply as possible. Make plans to participate in the events we discuss, watch the films we suggest – it’s worth it to be able to feel like it’s still fall.

You can still have a harvest. You can still pick up acorns and watch the squirrels on campus. Just because COVID is getting bad again doesn’t mean that we have to be put back into our boxes, doesn’t mean that it’s 2020 again, or that we’ve skipped to winter. This fall is different than any other fall has been before. But it is still harvest-time, and the horses are out in the field, and there are people bringing the crops in before the frosts.

Sit quietly with me, read some ghost stories, get the lowdown on Hallowe’en, and decide for yourself what you think The Brunswickan will look like this year. We are different than we’ve ever been before.

Something wicked this way comes...

Marlowe Evans Brunswickan Editor-in-Chief (and Spectre)

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News Briefs Taylor Chalker

Upcoming Events Incé Husain

First Annual Truth and Reconciliation Day a Solemn One David Bunce

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Séances in the SUB: MeepMop, Chickadees, and the Holy Grail Marlowe Evans

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Harvest Jazz and Blues Olivia Chenier

Campus Ghost Marlowe Evans

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Inside This Issue: The Brunswickan . Vol 156, Issue 1

Hallowe’en Expectations for Families Quintina Northrup

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A Hunt for The Best Pumpkin Spice Latté Incé Husain

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Meet the Staff

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Dear Sharkie Sharkie

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September Taylor Chalker

New Brunswickers Push for Rapid Covid Tests New Brunswickers are pushing for the availability of rapid testing kits, with rising case numbers and increased waiting times on test results.

Currently, a program exists within the provincial government to aid small and large businesses in obtaining rapid testing kits for their employees.

However, citizens who seek testing kits of their own are being turned away.

On September 29, Premier Higgs explained that the government was working with the school board to make rapid testing kits available for schools in the province, but did not address when the kits would be available to the public.

“We are looking at a testing policy for schools, and in the education system, and using rapid testing. And that will be brought forward by the department of education in the coming days or weeks,” he explained.

The lack of available kits has forced many New Brunswickers to take time off of school or work as they wait for their results in self isolation, with some waiting weeks to get tested, and waiting further days for their results. The stress and financial strain of this has caused frustration across the province, with citizens calling for access to rapid testing.

On October 1, Dr. Jennifer Russell addressed the province, speaking further to the distribution of rapid testing kits to schools, but neglecting to address the distribution of tests to the public.

Protest at Tide and Boar On September 24, approximately 30 people staged a protest against vaccination regulations outside of the Brewpub, Tide and Boar, in Saint John.

The group asked the establishment to go against COVID-19 regulations, which would put the Brewpub at risk of fines up to $20,400, as well as fines for individuals who were found breaking the regulations.

The establishment explained in a Facebook post that they are doing their best to observe government regulations.

“We have always done our best to have our guests feel as safe and comfortable as possible by closely following the advice and directives of Public Health,” read the post. “We hope that this encourages people to come out and support small, locally owned, and family businesses who are just trying to survive.”

Record Breaking COVID-19 Cases in New Brunswick October 1-3 saw record highs as cases soared, with 93 new cases being reported on October 3 alone. This comes alongside the news of 2 deaths related to COVID-19, as public concern of the rising cases continues to rise.

Colin Furness, epidemiologist at the University of Toronto, spoke with Information Morning Fredericton about the need for rapid testing.

Some parents of school-age children are calling for a return to online classes in areas with high case counts, hoping to limit the spread while waiting for more information from Public Health and the New Brunswick school board. On the other hand, many families are concerned with finding adequate homecare for their children if schools make a return to online learning.

“If everyone tested themselves every morning, you wouldn’t have transmission,” said Furness, who believes that anyone who wants a kit should be permitted to obtain one.

“The more the schools close down, the more parents are left wondering what they are going to do next,” expressed Gary Collins, a concerned parent, to Global News.

As of October 4, approximately 85% of New Brunswickers have received the first dose of their vaccine, with 80% of residents being fully vaccinated.

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Indigenous/ Inuit stories told through a loosely folk medium by couple Jaaji (Inuk and Mohawk) and Chelsey June (Métis).

Western and traditional instruments, traditional and nontraditional styles collide.

Frankenstein: Film Screening with Live Orchestra When: Thursday, October 28th Where: Fredericton Playhouse, 686 Queen St, Fredericton

October Incé Husain

The Art of Dying and Congratulations, Rhododendrons: Virtual Readings When: Thursday, October 7th; 7 p.m.

Where: Virtual; free registration on Eventbrite

Frankenstein in its 1931 classic form returns. Watch Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) compile corpses into the iconic monster (Boris Karloff) accompanied by live, original orchestral music by Andrew Reed Miller and performed by Symphony NB. Prepare to scream!

Love Songs and Texture and Hue: Art Exhibitions When: Till October 30th; Tuesday - Friday 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Saturday 10 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Where: Gallery 78, 796 Queen St, Fredericton; virtual visitation: www.gallery78.com

*ASL interpretation included* Sarah Tolmie (The Art of Dying) gives readings from her poetry book, a lyrical recount of blissfully mundane events in conjunction with futility and death. Mary Germaine (Congratulations, Rhododendrons) complements this theme with poems illustrating our increasingly suspicious, technology-rich world alongside odes to natural beauty.

Funded by Canada Council for the Arts, UNB Faculty of Arts, UNB Department of English, and The Fiddlehead.

“I can only hope my paintings are as rich as the pungent smell of a pine or as vibrant as the shallow turquoise water along the Atlantic coast.” - Matthew Collins “I strive to suspend myself in the sweet spot between intention and accident.” - Alan Grabelsky Welcome Matthew Collins’ and Alan Grabelsky’s new art exhibitions! Texture and Hue (Matthew Collins) showcases vibrant, expressive southern Nova Scotia landscapes. Love Songs: A Journal of Fateful Encounters (Alan Grabelsky) stars chaotic serigraph prints.

Donate Blood: UNB Event When: October 18 - 19; 1 p.m. - 4 p.m. ; 5:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

Where: University of New Brunswick, appointment booking: blood. ca Help save lives. Eligibility: 17 - 23 years of age, at least 50kg.

Donation: 1 pint (½ a litre)

Twin Flames: Music Performance When: Wednesday, October 23th, 7:30 p.m.

Where: Fredericton Playhouse, 686 Queen St, Fredericton

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First Annual Truth and Reconciliation Day a Solemn One By: David Bunce

Content warning: this article discusses residential schools.

Thursday, September 30, marked the first federally-recognized Truth and Reconciliation Day in Canada.

This day is a solemn one for many, coming shortly after the bodies of thousands of Indigenous children were found on former residential school grounds across Canada.

The UNB Indigenous Legal Students’ Association (ILSA) marked the day by providing educational materials informing citizens on how to become better allies to the Indigenous population. They posted a brochure with various materials such as podcasts, books, articles, and films.

Mick Jeffries is the president of the ILSA and is passionate about educating the public on Indigenous issues.

“We asked students to reflect on the past, think about how to be better allies for the future, and to engage in conversations with those in their lives,” Jefferies said.

Outside of his work in the organization, he personally took time to reflect on the tragedy of residential schools.

“I personally chose to spend this day honouring the children who never came home to their families, educating myself further, and taking some time for myself to rest and recharge my batteries for the difficult work of being an advocate for these issues, which hit close to home.”

Jeffries is happy that UNB chose to recognize the day as a holiday but views the day as more of an observance and a chance to acknowledge the trauma of Indigenous people.

“Overall, this is a positive step forward for what is now Canada in accepting the truth of Indigenous people and our past traumas.”

UNB Students can follow the ILSA on Facebook by clicking here.

Additionally, you can find out which traditional territory you reside on by using the using the link: https://native-land.ca/ Students in NB can learn more about the history of the Treaties associated with the land by using the following QR code

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To further educate themselves on Indigenous issues, the ILSA recommends: Reading the following books: 21 Things you might not know about the Indian act by Bob Joseph Indigenous Writes: A guide to First Nations, Metis, and Inuit issues in Canada by Chelsea Vowel Stories from our elders in Atlantic Canada Speaking Our Truth: A Journey of Reconciliation

by Monique Gray Smith Whose Land Is It Anyway? A Manual for Decolonization.

Listening to the following podcasts: Warrior Life by Pam Palmater All My Relations Finding Cleo - CBC Podcast The Secret Life of Canada Reading the following articles: Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada: Calls to Action Exploring Wabanaki concepts of holism and longhouse knowledge

by Christopher George The United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples IRSS timeline compiled by the Canadian Encyclopedia Executive Summary of the Final Report for the National Inquiry into MMIWG Building an ally: non-Indigenous people share their stories of bridge building Building the Indian Residential Schools System Watching the following movies and videos: Where Are the Children?

Healing the Legacy of the Residential Schools 8th fire: Wab’s walk through history MMIWG Inquiry Hearings – Wabanaki Territory Sen. Murray Sinclair: How can Canadians work toward reconciliation Etuaptmumk: Two-Eyed Seeing – Rebecca Thomas Etuaptmumk Two-Eyed Seeing with Albert Marshall Stories from our elders in Atlantic Canada 8

Séances in the SUB:

MeepMop, Chickadees, and the Holy Grail Marlowe Evans

The Brunswickan’s specialty ghost-fighting task force, the Séances in the SUB team, was once again called into action this October to deal with a rather gruesome situation in the University of New Brunswick Student Union Building when a student complained to SUB staff after the severed heads of forty-three chickadees appeared out of a glowing circular portal and ruined her Kinesiology homework.

After the incident was investigated by the Homework Police and determined not to be a hoax created as an excuse to get an extension on the assignment, the SITS team was recruited to look into the incident further. Upon closer investigation, it was revealed that each chickadee’s head had been severed using a garrote fashioned out of a shoelace from a limited edition unreleased Hallowe’en Yeezy, only four pairs of which had ever been manufactured.

“I had no idea, but apparently Kanye West sold one of those four pairs to the owner of an unlisted bank account in the Canary Islands,” said newly promoted Séances in the SUB team leader Incé Husain. “I sent one of the reporters to chase some geese out in the Quad, because everyone knows that goose chases always lead to Canary Island bank account holders, and we found out that the bank account belongs to the ghost of MeepMop.” MeepMop, a distant cousin of Sharkie, the immortal red herring whose soul is bound in a blood pact with The Brunswickan’s Editor-in-Chief (and who happens to be the publication’s mascot), used to haunt the depths of the Mariana Trench, and until this October, was thought to still be in the vicinity of said trench. However, forty-three dead chickadees beg to differ.

“I hired Ms. Husain for a reason. I have complete and utter confidence that she and Ms. Chalker can handle this situation,” said Brunswickan Editor-in-Chief Marlowe Evans. When asked why they are not participating in the exorcism of MeepMop directly, Evans cited the attempted “Ghost News” column. What a moment ago had seemed like complete and total faith in SITS leader Incé Husain and Bounty Hunter/ News Editor Taylor Chalker, quickly turned to pessimism in the face of the memory of the failed news piece: “Does anyone other than me remember what happened when Matt Gracie lost two reporters in a bathroom for six months? Forgive me if I don’t want to miss going to Paris with Jack just so I can catch a glimpse of Sharkie’s dead bird-dissecting cousin.”

When the day came to stop MeepMop, Chalker and Husain arrived at the SUB with chalk, the Holy Grail, candles, and water from the Fountain of Youth. They placed the Grail in the centre of the Atrium, drew a series of sigils, lit the candles, and began sprinkling the water while chanting, “I think chickadees are cooler than fish.” A true Brunswickan séance had begun.

Immediately, a portal appeared, and a translucent herring wielding a scalpel swam into the centre of the Atrium.

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“I could tell it was MeepMop,” said Chalker. “Honestly, I thought he was going to be huge and kind of terrifying to look at, like Sharkie, but he just looked like a regular herring except, like, angry.”

A cloud of chickadees gathered at the windows of the SUB and began pecking at the glass, and cracks formed, but Husain and Chalker were too busy dealing with the herring to pay any mind to the birds.

“I was almost worried he wouldn’t go for the Holy Grail, but Sharkie told us that it revives herring and brings them back from the dead, so we figured we should bring it out of Brunswickan storage to lure him into our trap,” said Husain.

“Sharkie was right– once MeepMop saw the Holy Grail, he swam right for it, and as soon as he was low enough I just stepped on him with my specialty ghost-killing boots that I bought after Matt let a ghost eat me in the women’s washroom. MeepMop squealed a little and then dissipated into smoke, and then all the birds left too,” explained Chalker.

The SITS duo cleared up the debris from the séance, packed the Holy Grail back up in its Budlight duffle bag, and headed back to the Bruns office.

* please note The Brunswickan is not liable for any bird-inflicted damages done to the glass panels of the UNB Student Union Building that occurred during paranormal activities *

Graphic: Olivia Chenier 11

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Harvest Jazz and Blues Olivia Chenier The anticipation of entering the Big Blues Tent was heightened. ID, wristband, vaccine papers, badge holders - we all waited as folky bluegrass played on the speakers. Everyone involved was happy to be gathered after months of awaiting a sense of normalcy. And it did not disappoint.

The bass rattled rib cages, the treble sang into eardrums, and the lights tangled with the shows to create a false synesthesia.

“Thank you, everyone, for doing your part to bring the festival to town,” Mark Roberts of Bounce would say between each set.

WEDNESDAY: David Myles returned to his hometown with a swanky rhythm and brass above a behemoth crowd stomping on the beat in Wii Fit march fashion. The brass solos shined like new shoes, the synth sang out like gospel to the roots gods, and Myles was riffing off his Gibson ES. The harmonizing duo Reeny and Mahalia Smith joined as guests, with tremendous bodied voices, amplifying the vocals.

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harvest

“This city would not be the same without Harvest,” David told the crowd, sharing his memories of adventures in a PT Cruiser.

This city would not be the same without its unpredictable weather.

Thunder rolled in clamorously to join the crowd. The band had a short break due to the lightning stealing David’s thunder, but they continued once it had its share of the spotlight.

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THURSDAY: David Shaw rocked the stage with his wicked dance moves reminiscent of John Lennon’s infamous cowboy walk photograph, plus a tambourine. Once that was over, he took his Martin guitar off the stand and performed with those dynamic bass strings. Shaw would often toe his way over for a friendly face-off with his rhythm guitarists and drummer, switching between his Martin and D’Angelico guitars often to complement the electricity in the air. He ended his show by tossing his setlist into the crowd like a bouquet for the next big band, swinging his jacket over his shoulder. David Shaw and company disappeared into the fog like a magic show.

The Jerry Douglas band joined their instruments set on the glowing stage. Jerry had his Beard resonator guitar; the rest of the band consisted of electric guitar, upright bass, and fiddle. Jerry rested his guitar up lap-style and plucked, metal finger picks on his thumb. The bluegrass swept through us all, strings sweet in the air. The concentration on the faces of the other players intensified as Jerry carried on with a smile. “I can tell we’re gonna have some fun tonight,” he announced, to applause.

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SATURDAY: Marco Bensevento’s set engulfed the audience in a psychedelic/indie pop fantasy world. Marco was operating on a fancy Yamaha keyboard with an assortment of pedals, alongside a bassist with an immaculate vibe, and a drummer nodding his head to the sound of his own drum. The bassist Karina Rykeman sported a whimsical and freeing energy, often stealing the show with her funky bass solos.

The synth magic created a spliced music baby with Of Montreal plus Tame Impala notes.

Grace Potter was next. She left the options up to her audience and took requests.

“Last time I played was in Vancouver before the pandemic. This is my first time out of the United States.”

The energy burst out of this gal’s guitar, her voice as powerful as Blondie, with the sweet huskiness of Joni Mitchell. Switching between the keyboard and two guitars, she was versatile and loved having conversations with her audience. She exclaimed her love of Canadians: “If I’m playing internationally, when people ask me where I’m from I say I’m from the border of Canada! I’m from Vermont.”

The shoes came off, and so did one of her strings as she played Delirious. Marco Benevento came up to join her on stage for one last song before the encore called her back.

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Finally, Joel Plaskett, the long-time Canadian songwriting legend arrived. The drummer’s set was decorated with the typography of the Make a Little Noise EP. Joel Plaskett sported a Gibson acoustic and electric guitar. He bounced on stage, slow banging with flowy locks. The bassist banged his head to the beat, tambourine around his neck (we love a good multitasker.)

They played the classics that brought younger crowds back to listening to dad’s music in the car, the older back to seeing Plaskette live in his younger years. The set was indeed ExtraOrdinary.

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Fall Watch List 1. Something Wicked This Way Comes (film) 2. Over the Garden Wall (limited animated series) 3. Monster House (animated film) 4. Spiral (film) 5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (film) 6. Bewitched (film) 7. Squid Game (television series) 8. It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown (animated film) 9. Get Out (film) 10. The Witcher (television series) 11. Hocus Pocus (film) 12. Star Trek (film) 13. Ghostbusters (film) 14. Edward Scissorhands (film) 15. Halloweentown (film)

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Campus Ghosts Model and Writer: Marlowe Evans Photos: Olivia Chenier

While the University of New Brunswick is known to most as a hotspot for education, it’s also a hotspot for paranormal activity. Many places around UNB, such as the Beaverbrook Room (or muRdeR ) on the second floor of the Harriet Irving Library, are known to be the homes of ghosts and spectres. Other places on campus, such as Memorial Hall, are so haunted that they have actually been visited by professional paranormal investigators. In each of these unique locales, witnesses to these extraordinary events have reported sightings of spectral figures, hearing footsteps, feeling cold drafts, and sometimes even the touch of a ghostly hand on their shoulder. This photo series was inspired by tales from each of these wonderful haunted places around UNB and pays homage to some of campus’ best ghost stories.

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Hallowe’en Expectations for Families Quintina Northrup

Green Level guidelines were most lenient but included strong Community-oriented gatherings and traditions have had to take recommendations for community face masks, frequent a backseat to COVID-19 over the last 18 months and Hallowe’en is handwashing, limiting activities that increased the possibility of no exception. transmission such as bobbing for apples and cookie decorating, as well as the recommendation to separate treat bags as to prevent As the recent mandatory state of emergency was reinstated multiple hands from coming into contact with them. on September 24, it is uncertain whether or not families will be permitted to take part in any ghoulishly fun activities this season.

Cases of COVID-19 continue to soar in New Brunswick, reaching a record daily high number of 140 cases on October 2. Although the “I think that [they] should definitely allow the children to go mandatory state of emergency states that, “people must limit their trick-or-treating,” Brittney Price of Fredericton weighed in. “If they contacts to their household plus 20 consistent contacts,” it places can attend school daily and attend their sports and recreational no restrictions on outdoor gatherings, for the time being. activities outside of school, they should be able to celebrate Hallowe’en as well.”

“I really think that Hallowe’en celebrations can be done safely.

We want our children to experience some normalcy during this Guidelines implemented for Hallowe’en 2020 were dependent on uncertain time and I think that allowing them to get dressed alert levels in each zone. The New Brunswick government released up and go out trick-or-treating will aid in restoring their mental an infographic on October 27, 2020, that stated each level’s health,” Price added. unique guidelines: Orange Level guidelines included: • Hallowe’en can be celebrated with family and within your one household bubble, plus a formal or informal caregiver and a member of the immediate family (a parent, child, sibling or grandparent).

• Door-to-door collecting and giving out of treats is not permitted.

• Hallowe’en parties outside of your household bubble (which can include formal or informal caregivers and a member of the immediate family) are not permitted.

Yellow Level guidelines included: • Informal indoor and outdoor celebrations are permitted with a maximum of 50 people, and you are advised to keep a list of participants.

• Any businesses, organizations, or groups that plan events, such as malls, are required to have an operational plan for any Hallowe’en activities, must keep a list of participants, and physical distancing must be ensured.

• Door-to-door trick-or-treating is permitted if Public Health advice is followed.

• If children in your household go door-to-door, they should minimize contact with anyone in your family and friend bubble who is at higher risk for several days following Hallowe’en.

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Katie Theriault of Oromocto trusts her community to be able to keep children safe this Hallowe’en.

“It’s so tough. I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. I liked last year when we were all outside and socially distancing while still being able to trick-or-treat,” she said. “I think that is a good solution for kids this year. In our neighborhood, we all put our treats outside and sat far away and kids were able to still celebrate while staying safe.”

“Last year [people] either sat bowls of candy out with a sign so there was no contact or they sat in their driveway and handed out treats so that children could distance themselves,” said Price, explaining that her community introduced similar practices. “A lot of our neighbors also put out hand sanitizer and wore masks. I felt it was safe, and the children had a blast!”

Hallowe’en may be easier for parents and guardians to navigate if the announcement of potential rapid testing becomes available for New Brunswick schools before October 31.

“We are looking into how we can expand [a rapid testing pilot program] […] and it is our intention to partner with Education and Early Childhood Development to look at that but I don’t have a timeline on when that would happen,” explained Dr. Jennifer Russell on September 29.

Graphic: Joe Jonah The rapid test pilot program would put to use the over 1 million rapid tests the province has access to but have so far used only 2.1%.

Each family must decide for themselves what is right for them while following the advice of Public Health. With vaccination rates rising and an increase of testing, it is certain that parents and guardians remain cautious but optimistic that Hallowe’en 2021 will be given the green light.

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A Hunt for The Best Pumpkin Spice Latté Incé Husain

Fredericton is comfortably pandemic-coated. We are sanitizor-enthusiasts and mask-swathed conversationalists. We find it hard to recognize faces and often wave at strangers or at nobody. Mouths hidden beneath increasingly glamorous masks, we can’t tell when people smile at us or narrow their eyes. Half our words are fabric-dominated; mumbling our way through small talk has never been easier.

But amidst this social height, pumpkin spice lattés remain.

And with them, memories of heartier Octobers.

I offer a testament to such times. Behold: the scouring of five coffee shops in search of the best pumpkin spice latté in downtown Fredericton. It’s a showdown between Starbucks, The Chess Piece Pâtisserie, Mill Town Roasters, The Abbey Café & Gallery, and Second Cup. I’m methodical. Each latté has been described in real time as it was tasted to assure maximum preservation and precision of flavour and feeling. Each latté has also been ranked on pumpkin, spice, pumpkin spice, saturation, quality, and pleasurability scales (rating of 0 for undetectable, 5 for excessive).

Let the countdown begin.

5. Second Cup

4. Chess Piece Pâtisserie

Second Cup had the honour of serving me my first pumpkin spice latté ever. The foam sizzled as I gave it a preparatory stir.

Unapologetically aesthetic-prone, I was enticed.

I adore the Chess Piece. I trust the Chess Piece. Chess Piece, don’t fail me now.

Sip one: very thick, foamy, heavy texture. Creamy bitterness accumulated in the back of my throat and circulated my next few breaths, like smoke.

Where was the pumpkin? I concentrated excessively; no luck. The sips were distinctly salty against an oversweet backdrop. I became desensitized by sip five, and therein identified hints of cinnamon.

The final sip was saccharine, and a (synthetic) pumpkin flavour vigorously emerged. The latté’s residue collected in chemically grains on my lips.

Pumpkin scale: 2/5 Spice scale: 4/5 Pumpkin spice scale: 2/5 Saturation scale: 5/5 Quality scale: 1/5 Pleasurability scale: 1/5 29

Sip one: atypical texture. Buttery, frothy, sweet, thin - this remained intriguing for the first few sips. Very cinnamon-centred; pumpkin unprioritized. Potent, sweet, authentic coffee. Good coffee. Great coffee. But pumpkin spice latté? More like cinnamon latté.

Pumpkin scale: 1/5 Spice scale: 2/5 Pumpkin spice scale: 1/5 Saturation scale: 2/5 Quality scale: 4/5 Pleasurability scale: 3/5

3. Starbucks Wind whipped my hair. I peeled open the Starbucks lid. A spiral of whipped cream, flecked with cinnamon galaxies. Bliss, to eyes that were computer-screen-studded all day.

First sip: a slow explosion, admirably pumpkin. Thin but rich.

Not bitter: the spice was gentle but noticeable. This latté was a homogenous serum rather than a multilayered flavour that could be slotted into initial tastes and aftertastes. Sophisticatedly salty.

Modest and level. Pricey.

Pumpkin scale: 4/5 Spice scale: 2·5/5 Pumpkin spice scale: 1/5 Saturation scale: 2/5 Quality scale: 5/5 Pleasurability scale: 3/5

2. Mill Town Roasters If I said I was ranking pumpkin spice lattés downtown, would the server say my latté is on the house?

“Hi! Do you serve pumpkin spice lattés?” I asked. “I’m writing an article, actually. I have to write about and rank the pumpkin spice lattés downtown. It’s for The Brunswickan, UNB.” The server smiled. She shared an anecdote about journalism and STU. I smiled, asked polite questions. She smiled, asked polite questions. Handed me my receipt. Oh, well.

First sip: how dark. How serious. Thick, but not saturated. Rich, expansive flavour filled the mouth and nose like an inflating balloon, foam and spice blooming into a pumpkin cloud. The flavours didn’t spar: they took turns, harmonized, lapsed together.

It diluted in my mouth to feel watery before being swallowed.

Mellow-sweet, subdued. The final sip was sickening syrup, a finish that I adored.

Pumpkin scale: 3/5 Spice scale: 3/5 Pumpkin spice scale: 4·5/5 Saturation scale: 2/5 Quality scale: 4/5 Pleasurability scale: 5/5

1. The Abbey Café and Gallery: Four pumpkin spice lattés overanalyzed in two days. Consider my palette exhausted. Consider my palette so mercilessly tested that the mere mention of a pumpkin spice latté felt like a microaggression. My dad kindly ventured to the Abbey Café in my stead to bring me back a final PSL. My phone rang. “The Abbey café only serves real coffee,” my dad paraphrased. Call me biased, but I’m afraid they’ve won me over.

Rankings complete and taste buds regenerating, I do some research. What is in a pumpkin spice latté? How did it become a seasonal tradition?

By virtue of a CNN article (“Pumpkin spice really does give you the warm fuzzies - here’s why”), I uncover a betrayal: there is no pumpkin in pumpkin spice lattés. Rather, there is a mixture of spices - cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves - that are commonly associated with pumpkin dishes. Marketers compile these pumpkin-prone spices and christen the concoction ‘pumpkin spice’ , a pumpkin-less myth our suggestible, pattern-oriented brains lap up every season. I find it quite poetic, actually.

But for those who feel as betrayed as I, soothe yourself with this easy, authentic, limited edition Brunswickan PSL recipe.

We put the Pumpkin in Pumpkin Spice: a novel PSL recipe by The Bruns: Ingredients: 3 cups pumpkin seeds 3 tablespoons pure pumpkin zest 1 swig of pumpkin stem 1 cup pumpkin flesh 4 leaves from pumpkin plant 20cm vine from pumpkin plant 1 teaspoon soil in which pumpkin plant grew 10 tablespoons instant espresso powder 1 cup milk Put all pumpkin ingredients into a saucepan.

Pour water into saucepan until all pumpkin ingredients are covered. Boil on high. When water begins boiling, pour instant espresso powder into saucepan. Slowly add milk. Mix vigorously until pumpkin flavour seeps into latté (taste test intermittently; this may take an hour). Decant latté into a pot, assuring that no pumpkin ingredients enter. Set latté aside, allow it to steep.

Place all pumpkin ingredients from saucepan into a blender. Blend until puréed and frothy.

Pour latté into a mug. Place one heaping spoonful of puréed pumpkin ingredients on surface of mug in place of whipped cream.

Serve fresh. Enjoy.

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Meet the Staff 2021/2022 Marlowe Evans – Editor-in-Chief Marlowe is an eldest daughter, girl-from-west-country. She’s in her last year of political science honours at UNB, and wishes she could just talk about Plato, not politics. She enjoys poetry, Billy Joel, and thinking about places with better trees.

Wisconsin (Beezleybub) maow. maaoow. maaao. mraaow. maow. maooow. mrooow. mrow. maaaooow. mroow.

Stuart Wallace– Business Manager Hi, I’m Maisie Wallace, and this is a picture of me and my servant – Stuart. I am told he’s my brother, but I don’t think we look alike. I enjoy going for walks, swims, playing with sticks, and greeting everyone enthusiastically at the door. I live in Newfoundland, Stuart used to as well, but is away for his last year of Law School. Before I was born people say Stuart was an accountant with an oil company – but I can’t verify that. I can verify Stuart likes to play sports, throw sticks for me, and be greeted enthusiastically at the door.

Woof woof, Maisie Taylor Chalker– News Editor Taylor is not an enigma, in fact, she is quite exactly what she claims to be. She has a bad temper, procrastinates incessantly, and thinks that she has a better music taste than you. Arthur, however, is a mystery. Is he an ancient god, forever trapped in a cat’s body? Probably not, but you’ll never know.

Incé Husain – Arts Editor Caffeine and chocolate enthusiast. Part-time artist and writer. Full-time insomniac.

Fractal Are pens inanimate? Ballpoints, maybe. Fountain pens, no. Incé’s fate regularly intertwines with haunted fountain pens; Fractal was her most beloved late companion.

Filled with turquoise-violet ink, her words flowed best when wielded by it, whether it was journaling, fictionalizing, or simply staring at it to stir her thoughts. Though Fractal is no longer with us, nib cracked with overuse, its spirit remains. Incé awaits Fractal’s reincarnation (though hopefully not as a ball-point).

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Headshots: Marlowe Evans

Olivia Chenier – Creative Director Hi! I am a jack of creative trades and do just about anything, and do about anything to distract myself. I’m a near-graduate of the Graphic Design program at NBCCD and hope to work in advertising (if we can’t beat capitalism I at least want to survive it) Sterling I’m a pleasure to be around if I’m not your roommate. I’m a retired deli cat who hounds everyone for their pepperoni and kicks open bags of oatmeal. My favourite show is Archer because Sterling is true to my character. I’m a real sweet talker for treats!

Joe Jonah – Multimedia Editor Hi my name is Joe and I’m the Multimedia Editor. I’m a multimedia artist living and working in Fredericton, New Brunswick. I live with my partner Eva and we have a rowdy little kitten named Harvey after human rights activist and gay icon Harvey Milk.

Kristen Connolly – Ad Manager Kristen is a second-year law student at UNB. Originally from Newfoundland, she has a Commerce degree from Memorial. Kristen does not have a pet of her own but has recently been blessed with a new roommate – Peaches Charsley. Peaches and Kristen have very similar interests; they both enjoy lounging in the sun, carrying on friendly morning conversation, and getting plenty of attention. On the rare occasion that Kristen is not hanging out with Peaches, she enjoys sports, hiking, and catching up on schoolwork in the law library. Kristen is excited to be working with The Brunswickan and local businesses in the Fredericton community.

Emily Titus – Social Media Manager Emily Titus, originally from New Brunswick, grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois. She moved back to Fredericton to attend UNB and is now in her 4th year, pursuing a degree in Business Administration. She is majoring in finance and economics with a concentration in international business. She has a 12-year-old yellow lab named Molly. Molly loves people and swimming in the ocean. Her most unique trait is that she only has one eye (when she was a puppy the vet found cancer and removed it). Now it looks like she is constantly winking at you, which makes her even cuter than she already is! She also loves to travel, every summer she takes on the longest car ride of all, Chicago, Illinois to New Brunswick to visit her grandparents in the country.

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Melissa Spohr – Copy Editor Melissa Spohr is a PhD student in English at UNB. She knows every lyric to every Herman’s Hermits song. She believes the hatred of pineapple on pizza is unjustified.

Melissa loves apple fritters, three-toed sloths, and leaves that crunch when she steps on them.

Quintina Northrup – Full Time Reporter Second year, coffee-fuelled human rights enthusiast. Self-proclaimed cat connoisseur.

Witty wife of one, cool mom of two, pet mom of three.

Francis a.k.a. Francie Classic brown tabby tom cat, caramel belly, likes tail pulls, doesn’t believe in traditional cat lifeways, does believe in all the treats.

Charlotte a.k.a Ms. Beeb Aloof grey tabby girl, chirps instead of meows, nurses on her tail like a kitten, also demands treats at 7p.m. daily.

Lucha a.k.a. Cheener Weiner Chicken Dinner a.k.a. Mr. Cheen Chihuahua, THE BEST BOY, shows how he dances when asked with a song, loves his Grandmas, stinky mouth tho.

David Bunce – Full Time Reporter

David is a third year law student at UNB. He enjoys covering legal stories and wishes to pursue a career in criminal law.

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Dear Sharkie:

Haunted by Mercury Retrograde

Send any questions regarding school, university culture, or life in general to dearsharkie@thebruns.ca for a chance to gain really bad advice from everyone’s favourite red herring. Disclaimer: Please don’t actually follow this advice.

Dear Sharkie, I just barely managed to survive being poisoned after the ghost of my ex snuck into my house wearing a crazy disco costume. No one seems to believe me! I have tried calling the police, telling my friends– and they all keep blaming it on a retro planet. What can I do? I think they want me to join them in the afterlife!!

Sincerely, Abba

Dear Abba, I believe your friends are referring to Mercury retrograde, a phenomenon where the planet Mercury appears to moonwalk backwards through the sky. I would love to say this is what made your ex’s ghost go crazy and try to poison you – but we never make excuses for crazy ex-partners in this magazine, even if they are deceased! Astrology can’t explain this phenomenon.

Only the science of exes can.

All exes fall on a spectrum. At one end of the spectrum is “Probably Will Not Disturb Me Again” and at the other end of the spectrum is “Get a Restraining Order ASAP.” Whether or not you can prove to the police that your ex broke into your house wearing disco clothes and tried to poison you, I think you might want to try the restraining order option at some point, if they do those in the afterlife. However, I would also like to point out that you can also counteract the craziness of your exes by cursing their spirit.

To curse your exes I would suggest consulting with a local professional. Seek out the counsel of a professional witch this season and be sure to pay them for their services. If your ghouly ex did mean to actually kill you with the poisoning, then I would say a hex is appropriate. If it was merely a poisoning done in jest, I would recommend a hex, and if it was only a mild case of poisoning, then only hire the witch to jinx your ex. I would not recommend buying spells online, as most of these are fake and unreliable. You might as well just go outside on Hallowe’en and say, “oogabooga,” at the moon. However, enlisting the help of the old Bogwitch who lives deep in Odell Park is a very reliable way to deal with exes.

If you prefer a more personal approach to dealing with your ghostly poisonous disco-ex, I would suggest making a blood pact with a demon and hiring them to spend a weekend therapizing your ex until they no longer feel the need to bother you anymore. That, or maybe sleep with a club under your pillow.

I hope this was helpful advice! xoxo, Sharkie

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