Wrangler No. 35

Page 1

The Wrangler May 2014 Edition Roman Numeral Thirty-Five

..A w ar ds

Ce re

m

Real. Comfortable. News.

on y…

..

News in Briefs 

Cordova leaves school months early to prepare for World Cup

Freshmen stay up past 10:30 on Spring Break

Calderon named honorary member of senior class

Seniors report 40% hearing loss after four years of Brophy dances

Club serves traditional Central American dish of ice cream

*May 6th* *Brophy insurance policy increases*

Student reports hearing movies in Brophy Hall as school ends

Come see the Harmonica Man in a location near you! Gnarly tour poster created by Jack Toolan ’17 and Trevor Lewis ’17.

Westeros, off of Central and Camelback

Donald Sterling seeks ownership of Intramural Basketball League

By Max Kufel ’15

By John Turner ’15

It seems that lately, in the wake of the mystery, excitement and gusto of Season 4 of “Game of Thrones,” the Brophy faculty has engaged in actions hauntingly similar to those in the not -yet-confirmed fictional land of Westeros. Recently, it was discovered not only that Brophy has been renamed Westeros, but also that each department of education at Brophy has been restructured into kingdoms, with each building of Brophy designated a specific house. The Language Dept. became House Schmidbauer, the English Dept. House Danforth, the Social Studies Department House Hooten, the Math Dept. House Woods, the Science Dept. House Widbin, and the Religious Studies Dept. House Shores. Approximately fifty more houses were created…. but you’ll never be able to remember their names.

King Ryan, who presides in the Grand Palace in the capital of Reese’s Landing (formerly pre-historic Romley Hall), which contains the most uncomfortable throne of all-time. Sir John of House Buchanan is the Warden of the North, always on guard to invasions by the wildlings of Central High School. He has turned the entirety of Piper into Castle White, an outpost for the nascent Broncos’ Watch. In essentially the most unproductive decision ever made, letters and emails were left to be delivered by ravens.

Recently, ravens went out to Brophy students detailing the Eastern lands, as they are largely unknown to the Brophy students. The Eastern Lands is where students are banished to serve their JUF’s (Justice under King Joffrey). It is supposFurther, there are lords for eve- edly a frightening and trashry single house. All houses filled area of the kingdom. To would go on to assemble reavoid it, one must travel past maining teachers as bannerWesteros to the forbidden men in the event of an armed nymph land of Zavyer. invasion. An invasion that As the Administration continseems very unlikely due to the ues to make changes, we will currently weak stature of the continue to relay the inforSaint Mary’s Kingdom. mation to you. Valar Morghulis. The Six Kingdoms are ruled by

Donald Sterling's fallout with the Los Angeles Clippers put him back on the market for a new team or, what a few reporters have confirmed, an entire league. "This way, I'm the owner of everything, I'm the chairman, I'm the board, I'm the boss. No one can tell me what I can or cannot do," Sterling said through an agent on Friday.

players under six feet tall and disallowed the use of ankle socks. Sterling supposedly claimed, “I don’t want physically inferior spectators at my games.”

A recent boycott on the rules changes started when students of shorter stature and cold ankles marched with picket signs around the gym demanding the rules to be changed. One student After Sterling's lifetime ban from said on the subject, “I have a wet the NBA, he looked for basketball jumper. How’s Sterling gonna see that still had equal prestige but it if I’m only 5’10?” Later in the less “regulations.” He discovered week, administration was forced the Brophy Intramural League to ban Sterling from the (IBL) to be a perfect fit because league. Sterling commented, “I of the "equal playing field” and can’t believe this. You heard me? “fierce track athletes.” Sterling I’m not a racist.” He is currently has also created some new rules not allowing himself to take an for the league, which banned all instagram photo of himself.

Three Intramural Basketball players Sterling didn't have an issue with. Photograph taken by Chandan Saini ’14.


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.