1. Tools from the front line - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse activity
2. Keep the child at the heart - follow us on social media
3. Reducing Parental Conflict training
Tools from the front line - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
The “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” activity in Reducing Parental Conflict (RPC) is based on Dr John Gottman's research on couple's communication. He identified four destructive behaviours that predict relationship breakdown, metaphorically linked to the biblical "Four Horsemen."
To access the activity please scan the QR code
Attacking a partner’s character rather than addressing specific behaviours.
Antidote: Use a soft start-up. Asking yourself, 'What do I feel? What do I need?' and then starting communication with 'I feel', leading into 'I need', and respectfully asking your partner to fulfil that need.
Expressing disrespect through sarcasm, mockery, or eye-rolling.
Antidote: Begin to build a culture of appreciation and respect. 'Small things done often'. If you regularly express appreciation, gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner, you will begin to create a positive culture in your relationship that can act as a buffer for negative feelings
Responding to conflict by denying responsibility or blaming the other.
Antidote: Begin to accept responsibility, even if only for a part of the conflict
The listener withdraws from the interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner
Antidote: Begin to practice physiological self-soothing. The first step of self-soothing is to stop the conflict discussion and call a timeout
I have been using the ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ activity from the RPC toolkit guide to help parents recognise harmful communication styles like criticism or defensiveness. One dad said it helped him realise he was being defensive without knowing it. It’s now a staple in our conflict resolution workshops.”
— Family Support Practitioner
Keeping the child at the heart
The Bromley Children Project is continuing to raise awareness of the impact of parental conflict on children through powerful new social media posts Utilising the theme of 'Keeping the child at the heart', these posts are based on the Relationship Thought Prompt cards, which are available on the Bromley Parenting Hub website Follow the Bromley Children Project on social media to stay updated with more helpful tips, resources, and support for families These posts are a great reminder that small changes in how we handle conflict can make a big difference in a child’s life.
RPC training for professionals
Join FREE Reducing Parental Conflict face-to-face tra
How to differentiate Parental Conflict from Dome
How to spot signs of parents in conflict
How parental conflict affects babies, children and young people
The skills and tools to support families who experience conflict
To access the cards please scan the QR code
To book the RPC training, please scan the QR code
RPC one-hour micro online learning sessions, deliver practical recommendations on various resources and tools that foster a family-centred approach. The topics include:
Talking to families about healthy relationships
Supporting healthy relationships among separating and separated parents
Supporting children and young people around healthy relationships
Reducing Parental Conflict support pathway and resources
Supporting healthy relationships among parents who become carers
How to distinguish Parental Conflict (PC) and Domestic Abuse (DA)
Reducing Parental Conflict e-learning includes:
Differentiating parental conflict from domestic abuse.
Identifying signs of parental conflict and its negative impact on children.
Effectively signposting families facing harmful levels of conflict
We would love to hear from you!
To book the RPC training, please scan the QR code
To book the RPC e-learning please scan the QR code
Your experience and feedback matters to us Whether it is something you liked, something that did not quite work, or an idea for improvement, please take a moment to share your thoughts.
You can reach us at rpc@bromley.gov.uk
Bromley Parenting Hub
