Face How You Feel: Stories on Mental Health

Face How You Feel: Stories on Mental Health

Designed by Brianna Morano

About The Project

Face How You Feel: Stories on Mental Health is a graphic design thesis project created at SUNY New Paltz. This zine is a collection of personal stories from young adults, ages 18 to 23, retelling their experiences with their mental health. These stories were submitted to me in the Fall of 2022 via an online questionnaire.

This zine uses imagery of nature as a representation of the topics discussed in these stories. Using photo manipulation to engage the reader, my hope for this project is that these stories will remind readers that they are not the only one who has or is currently struggling with their mental health. There is something powerful in sharing your story, and I hope that this can be a small resource people can turn to when they are feeling alone.

What is Mental Health?

Mental health is our emotional, psychological, and social well‑being. It affects how we think, act, and feel. Taking care of our mental health is essential for better health and quality of life.

The World Health Organization provides a mental wellness definition: “A state of well being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

The key to mental wellness is rather than staying consistently happy, you should try to pass through life events and emotions with a sense of equilibrium. It is not necessarily about being happy, but being able to cope with the stresses of life and balance your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental self.

MAGGIE, 21 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

I would define self care as care for your mental and/or physical well being that you do yourself. Things I consider self care would be daily hygiene practices, doing things I love, catching up with friends/family, taking breaks from work, and giving my mind some peace with meditation/reading.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

A time in my life that I struggled heavily with my mental health would be in my sophomore year of highschool. I had been dumped by my boyfriend and it had ended on really rough terms because it turns out he still had feelings for another girl from before he even asked me out. I was left feeling absolutely crushed because I had really liked this guy and he was my first relationship. My self esteem was at an all time low and I still had to go to school, even though I felt like crawling back into bed and crying.

Thankfully, I was able to overcome this struggle with major support from friends and my two younger brothers. I slowly got myself to start doing things I liked that I didn’t have time to do when I was in the relationship. This really helped a lot to distract me from my broken heart, but also to remind myself who I am as a person without my boyfriend.

Slow down to self-examine. If you aren’t able to take care of your own mental health this way, then ask a professional!

They are professionals for a reason!

–Maggie

STEPHANIE, 21 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

I think that self care can be any action performed with the purpose of bettering your well being at a certain moment. Self care for me a lot of the time is simply just taking a break from whatever I’m doing. If I’m not feeling great mentally, I will do things that help me feel more organized and “put together,” so that I have no added stress. Going to the gym has also become a new form of self care.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

I’ve always been a very anxious person, and I thought that everyone felt the same way as me for a long time. I feel the physical symptoms of anxiety a lot of the time (heart palpitations, nervous stomach, constant worried thoughts), and when there’s actually something to worry about I feel these symptoms so much more intensely. I would say middle school is mostly when this started. Occurring in waves over the years and hitting its peak freshman year of college.

I do feel good and bad in waves, so I talk myself out of needing therapy when I’m feeling good. I get overwhelmed with all the phone calls that need to be made and finding the right therapist for me, so I just keep putting it off. To take care of it right now I like to talk to my mom and try to do self care to relax.

ADVICE FOR YOUNG ADULTS

Do anything to take care of your mental health! Mental health is so important and there shouldn’t be any kind of stigmas around needing help.

I still struggle with this, and I’ve been in the process of looking for therapy for some time.

“Being a human is hard. We should all just try our best to help each other get through it.”

ANONYMOUS, 21 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

Anything that gives you a moment to relax or time to do something you love. I would consider self care as hanging out with people you love, watching a movie or a show, and doing a hobby or something you enjoy.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

My mental health started to struggle at the end of my sophomore year, when I started comparing myself to others and realized I wanted to look better for my own happiness. I started not eating as much and soon lost a ton of weight, although this didn’t come without consequences. Prior to doing this I was already anemic, but with continuing this pattern of not eating as much I started getting dizzier more easily. I get bruised extremely easily and my friends and family started to notice I was losing weight at a drastic pace.

This affected me because not only was I noticing my weight loss, but the people around me were as well. People started approaching me regarding my weight loss and making little comments. It wasn’t until I talked with my friends and family that I realized this was a real problem.

I started eating more than I did before and at first I would’ve been extremely tempted to go on the scale or look in the mirror and pick out my insecurities. With the help of my loved ones I was able to see that I was pretty just the way I am and gain confidence in my own skin.

I realized I look good just the way I am and I don’t need to lose weight to change that.

ANONYMOUS, 19 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

Self care is not all face masks and fancy products. Self care is saying no when you want to say yes. It is facing the things that you fear the most, and setting boundaries when necessary.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder when I was 16. I suffered from suicidal ideation, self harm, and even attempted to end my life one Thursday night, sophomore year of high school. I missed school to go to the psych ward, and I feared walking into my school because of what people would think of me. I ended up having to leave high school and graduate early because my mental health was suffering so severely that I was referred to a partial hospitalization program for 13 days from 7am–4pm at the psych ward.

I lost all of my friends. I dealt with my biggest traumas which involved being raped at 15, and psychologically abused by my father for years, on top of being stalked by a classmate. Partial (Hospitalization) was where I found people who understand fearing another day alive, but it was also where I found the wonders of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and mindfulness practice. During quarantine I explored meditation and journaling. To this day I give it credit for saving my life.

“Face how you feel and it will set you free.”

You are not weak for asking for help. It is okay to feel the way you do. Don’t feel guilty for being depressed, no matter how good you try to convince yourself your life is. You need to feel every emotion and better understand the root of these before you move forward. There is no forgetting about your mental health. That shit will follow you wherever you run to and I know that from experience. Face how you feel and it will set you free.

Mental health is not a disability. Things do actually get better and you are still the person you were before you were diagnosed. Now you just need to work a little harder to be happy, but that’s okay, it makes you creative and a warrior.

I never like for other people to see me in pain, so I tend to hide my emotions. However, it can get to the point where I break down and have no motivation to do anything. In the year 2020, I went through three major life changes, as well as Covid. In 2021, I had to pack my stuff and leave the place that I knew of as home. Granted, I only moved about two hours away, but it’s far enough to where I don’t get bothered every day by friends or family back home. I love my friends and family, however I am a person that thrives when I am by myself. It allows me to focus all of my attention on me and not someone else.

My self-care: Walking, listening to music, and hanging out with friends to clear my mind.

BRANDON, 23 YEARS OLD

ANONYMOUS, 20 YEARS OLD

My

My mental health was really bad a few years ago. I was never officially diagnosed, but I had a lot of symptoms of depression and I still have a lot of anxiety. I struggle with feeling good enough and being heard. I still struggle, but I’ve started journaling and separating my spaces. I’ve also found being active, or changing my setting has been really helpful because it helped change my mindset and get a different perspective. Progress isn’t linear. Don’t stress too much if you have a slight setback or one bad day.

self-care: Taking care of my plants, making sure my living space is clean, going for walks and exercise, and separating my work space from my sleep/relaxing space.

Progress isn’t linear.

ANONYMOUS, 18 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

I would define self care as something one does to better themselves and help take care of their mental and/or physical health.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

A lot of your life as a woman seems to be focused on control; controlling my body and how I express it by what I chose to wear and what I chose to do. I would often get catcalled and followed by creepy men, the first time I was only 11. This continued throughout life and only got worse as I got older. As I got older the question of “what were you wearing” started to pop up a lot more. The blame was getting put on a 15 year old girl in sweatpants and a hoodie rather than the 22 year old guy who followed me because there was a possibility of me wearing something too showy. It was then set in my mind that the blame would always be put on the women.

Moving on from there I was sexually assaulted at age 15. At first I didn’t know what happened to me, I was confused and disgusted with myself, but I didn’t know why. That night I took a burning hot shower and burned my skin trying to scrub off his touch. I told close friends and some of his friends who chose to actually still talk to him, which hurt even more. People actually excused what he had done to me and still talked to him; this drove me crazy. I would often have random nightmares and random panic attacks about this. At first I had no clue how to deal with them.

After some time I started to go to therapy. Once speaking to my therapist, he had told me I had ptsd. At first I was in denial because I was only 15, but he explained that’s what all my random panic attacks and nightmares were.

My therapist began letting me share my story with him. He was the first adult who I even spoke to about it. My parents still don’t know about it to this day. But I’ve got to the point where I was eventually rarely having nightmares.

Then one day I saw him. I saw him at the fair while I was with my friend. He began to point and laugh at me with his friends whispering God knows what about me. After I saw him he followed me around the fair until I left.

This haunted me. I went home bawling my eyes out in my room, asking myself why? Why would he taunt me? Why would he do any of this? Sometimes I would actually tell myself it was my fault. It was not my fault though, it had nothing to do with me or what I was wearing or anything. I said no and I pushed and shoved but it didn’t stop him.

I later found out that he had spread rumors about me that I used him for sex and for drugs. I hated going to school after this. My grades dropped lower and lower and I had lost all motivation. I mean, I had never even had sex, nor had I done drugs. I went from a straight A student to some of my classes are good, and some I’m completely failing, but I didn’t care.

In 11th grade, I began a poetry unit in a creative writing art class where I learned that writing moved me. We had journaling every Friday where we could write about anything we wanted and he would never read them.

Now I rarely have nightmares and panic attacks. I have a dog and she even helps as well. She sleeps with me at night and makes me feel calm and warm, so I can finally sleep in the dark again.

ADVICE FOR YOUNG ADULTS

Talk to someone at least. It doesn’t have to be a trusted adult right away. It can be a friend or a cousin or a significant other, but please talk to someone. If you can’t tell anyone tell a book; write down word for word how you feel. You don’t owe your story to anyone, but please talk to someone. If you can’t ask your parents for therapy, there is online therapy for free.

“Take care of your health first before anyone else’s. You can’t help someone until you help yourself first.”

The Never Forgotten—Never Forgiven Touch

You approached me with seemingly soft eyes. You approached me with seemingly kind words. You approached me with seemingly interesting thoughts; wanting to learn more of me.

I didn’t notice at first but all you were interested in was the touch of my skin.

I should have known you didn’t plan on sticking around— stupid naive me. We were laying down on my bed when your lips invaded mine— I pushed away. I thought I was strong— I thought my push and STOP would work— they didn’t.

My body froze from fear - you took that as an invitation.

You poked and prodded at me freely, like I was roadkill; As much as I prompted my body to move, it ignored my pleas. Then, before I knew it, you were gone.

I took a shower that same hour.

So dirty— I tried so hard to scrub off your touch. The water burned my skin and peeled some off; I hated my skin, now poisoned by your touch.

I hate how you left me with nightmares and scars, still engraved in my head.

I hate how when I saw you after that, you taunted me, knowing what you did. For that I refuse to forgive you.

The question is: can I forgive myself for not speaking up?

I hid. I hid it from everyone.

The everlasting thought - was there another victim… after me? Is it my fault if there was?

Yes, I know it’s not my fault, Yet sometimes I blame myself for not saying a word.

I hate you for what you did and some days I hate myself too.

SETH, 21 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

Self care can be a lot of things. It depends on what we need. Self care when we’re burntout can look like a bath or relaxing and watching tv. More intentional and intensive self care can be journaling and meditation, or just crying. Self care is any way that can help you process and let go of your emotions.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

Eleven years ago, my neighbor spent a month terrorizing, threatening, and racially harassing my family and I, as well as physically endangering us. He threw paint on our cars, eggs, slit our tires, and lastly on June 11th, 2011, he tried to light our house on fire using flammable bags he threw in our garden, next to our house, and underneath our cars. We were then escorted by the swat team that night because my dad woke up by the noise in time before anything more life threatening occurred.

I spent months after the incident crying every night in fear he’d come back and kill me. He was never found guilty of any of it.

I have post traumatic stress disorder from this and often spend a lot of my day to day in fear or numbness from triggers. However, I am quite open about my story as a psych student and future mental health counselor. I’ve found a lot of healing in telling my story and getting help. I’ve had depression since high school and still struggle to this day. It’s a long journey understanding and re learning to love myself. It’s been hard to release

“It’s a constant love-hate relationship”

Today and as of two and a half years ago, I’ve had a mental health page where I not only talk about my own experiences but provide support and solace to other people who also struggle with their mental health.

If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that healing is so incredibly difficult and it can take what seems like forever to see even a glimpse of hope or progress, but we’re all worth it in the end. We are not a burden or weak for getting help. It’s what makes us strong.

“I’ve found a lot of healing in telling my story and getting help.”

JOLI, 21 YEARS OLD

DEFINING SELF-CARE

Self care is something that makes you happy. I am a homebody, so self care for me is being in pajamas and relaxing on the couch.

MY MENTAL HEALTH STORY

My most significant mental health struggle has been coping with my dad’s passing in 2017. At the time, I found it very hard to express my grief. I mainly focused on school work and hanging out with friends. My friends were always there to talk about it if I wanted to. I found it healthy to talk about my feelings with my friends. Being able to now openly talk about my grief has helped me be there for my friend whose parent has recently passed away. I also channeled my grief into my art. It was my coping mechanism that I think helped me talk about my dad/grief. I have made art surrounding grief for the past five years, but this year I felt that I have grown so much from making work about grief.

I will never move on from my grief, but I am growing with it. My current work is an evolution of my past work. It is the progression of a personal journey.

“If you have trouble verbally talking about your mental health, there are other methods to get your feelings out (reading, writing, art).”

Mental Health Resources

Treatment Centers

Dutchess County Stabilization Unit

230 North Road

Poughkeepsie, NY 12601

Text/Phone: (845) 485–9700

DutchessNY.gov/Stabilization

Mental Health & Substance Use Urgent Care

Two Locations:

Union Street

Community Counseling Center

16–24 Union Street, Middletown, NY 10940

Kaplan Family Counseling Center

21–23 Grand Street, Newburgh, NY 12550

1–888–750 2266

https://accesssupports.org/mental health substance use urgent care/

Ulster County Mobile Mental Health Team 844–277–4820

10AM–10PM daily

https://accesssupports.org/behavioral health/

988 National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 24/7 Service

Websites

Active Minds

https://www.activeminds.org/

Mental Health is Health

https://www.mentalhealthishealth.us/

National Alliance on Mental Illness

https://nami.org/Home

National Institute of Mental Health

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/

Psychology Today

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Project Healthy Minds

https://www.projecthealthyminds.com/

SUNY Mental Health Resource Finder

https://www.suny.edu/mental health/resources/

Apps

Clear Fear DiveThru

Finch

How We Feel Mindshift

Move Mood

Simple Habit

Special Thanks To

Everyone who submitted their story to me! Your stories are inspiring and your advice is so valuable. Keep sharing your story whenever you can. You never know who you could be helping!

Amy Papaelias Graphic Design Thesis Advisor

SUNY New Paltz Psychological Counseling Center

For feedback and guidance on this project.

My family and friends

For their support and encouragement.

To see more work from me, visit my portfolio site at briannamor.myportfolio.com

Face How You Feel: Stories on Mental Heath is a graphic design senior thesis project at SUNY New Paltz. Designed by Brianna Morano in the spring of 2023. Printed and bound at SUNY New Paltz. The typefaces used are URW Form, Shrikhand, and MADE Sunflower. Photos are sourced from Pexels.com.

Graphic Design Senior Thesis

Designed by Brianna Morano