The Pulse 9.52 » Dec. 27, 2012-Jan. 2, 2013

Dec. 27, 2012

Vol. 9 • No. 52

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

tune out, tune in

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EDITORIAL

Publisher Zachary Cooper The Editors Zach Cooper • Bill Ramsey Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny ChuckChattanooga’s Crowder •Weekly JohnAlternative DeVore • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik • Sarah Skates Alex Teach • Richard Winham Photographers Jason Dunn • Kim Hunter • Josh Lang Cartoonists Max Cannon • Richard Rice • Tom Tomorrow Calendars Erin McFarland

Since 2003

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EDITORIAL

Seriously? These are ‘Hot Tickets’?

W

e know the year has yet to begin, but as we survey the concert/event horizon for the first quarter of 2013, we are already reaching for the Prozac. Only the Times Free Press’ Barry Courter and Lisa Denton will likely “Get Off the Couch” for these events: • UTC’s McKenzie Arena continues to showcase its annual family and redneck fare, hosting the Harlem Globetrotters (Jan. 18), WWE Raw’s Road to Wrestlemania (Feb. 1), the Christian-themed Winter Jam (Feb. 12), the Monster Jam (March 1-2), and Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus (March 14-17). We’re aware the Roundhouse doesn’t book its own events, but it should. The venue could stage some awesome concerts if they’d (a) detach the arena from the school (similar to Finley Stadium), (b) drop the alcohol ban and, (c) aggressively seek out shows or hire a booking agency.

• The Memorial Auditorium has booked Michael Flatley’s “Lord of the Dance” (Feb. 12), which deserves to be seen only on PBS at 3 a.m., and “My Funny Valentine Comedy Jam” (Feb. 15), which seems neither funny nor a valentine to anyone who would like to see some actual concerts at the auditorium.

Something called “Celtic Woman” (March 19) continues the Irish antics. We are pencilling in George Jones (March 22), but we’re also expecting the inevitable drunkdriving incident that will postpone Jones’ “Farewell Tour.”

• Across town at the Tivoli Theatre, the auditorium’s sister city-owned venue is bringing in some decent comedy acts— Brian Regan (Feb. 28) and Jim Gaffigan (March 17)—but it’s concert lineup leaves a lot to be desired. Now don’t get us wrong.

We’re fans of both Merle Haggard (Feb. 13) and George Jones, but these legacy acts need to be balanced with a slate of genuinely relevant performers. The Black Jacket Symphony (Jan. 18) is all but becoming the theatre’s house band, for christ sakes.

As noted in DizzyTown last week, the city

4 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

TALK OF THE NOOG chattanoogapulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulsE SEND LETTERS TO: INFO@ CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

needs to get out of the business of managing the auditorium and the Tivoli, which, according to the TFP, are estimated to cost taxpayers almost $1 million each year in losses. Handing over management and booking to a professional agency would alleviate many of these woes, free the taxpayers of an unnecessary burden and give concertgoers a reason to rejoice and spend their concert dollars in Chattanooga.

Thankfully, the city now has Track 29 and the always vibrant Barking Legs Theater, along with the core live music clubs—JJ’s Bohemia, Rhythm & Brews and The Honest Pint—to satiate most live-music fans, but locals will continue to have to travel north to Nashville or south to Atlanta to see many of the artists and bands who might add Chattanooga to their tour itineraries if the right combination of management and rules were in place. Did we mention alcohol sales?

We are under no illusions. We acknowledge that Our Fair City is not now nor has it ever been (or likely ever be) a major concert tour destination. But each of these venues could quite easily transition into creatively managed and booked music and arts venues if the city and UTC both got out of the venue-management business. Dare we say each might become quickly profitable?

Dare we say each might draw crowds from other cities (much as Jack White’s sold-out show at Track 29 last March did for Track 29)? Dare we say the city might benefit from those additional venues in the form of more hotel guests, more diners, more visitors to our city’s other attractions? Why yes, we dare say.

None of this would detract from the broad-based fare each venue currently books on a perennial basis. In fact, larger local crowds might even attract bigger and better family-oriented productions. And let’s get over the alcohol thing. It’s 2013, not 1913. Much like Tennessee’s outdated Blue Laws that allow beer but not liquor to be sold on Sunday and beer but not wine to be sold in grocery stores, Chattanooga needs to grow up and rise to the level of its peers in this arena.

Until these factors are addressed, the city will be underserved and deprive itself of the sort of mini cultural mecca it aspires to become. Resolutions need to be made and kept. These ones are smart, relatively simple and achievable. —The Editors

WHO WANTS TO BE

MAYOR? MAYORAL AND CITY COUNCIL Election DAY • MARCH 5, 2013 Meet Your Mayor •With Rob Healy out of the race, Andy Berke will easily cruise into office in March to succeed Ron Littlefield as Chattanooga’s next mayor.

The Other Guys • Ex-city employee Guy Satterfield says he has a “big mountain to climb,” but he’s not quitting, no sir!

• Wayne Hamill told the TFP he hopes voters will be “filled with the Holy Spirit” to propel him into office, but the Holy Spirit had other ideas. Hamill will not run.

• Chester Heathington Jr. Ahem.

COUNCIL-GO-ROUND

With the mayor’s race a shoo-in for Andy Berke, the focus now shifts to the nine Chattanooga City Council seats, all up for election with all but two incumbents—Deborah Scott and Sally Robinson— vying for re-election.

The final list of candidates qualifying for the March 5 elections are listed below. We’ll profile the candidates in The Pulse 203 Election Handicapping Guide coming soon.

District 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 3 3 4 4 4 4 4 5 6 7 7 7 7 8 8 9 9

Candidate Pat Hagen Chip Henderson Jim Folkner Tom McCullough Jerry Mitchell Priscilla Simmons Roger Truder Pam Ladd (I) Ken Smith Jack Benson (I) Larry Grohn Ryan King Scott McColphin Tom Tomiseck Russell Gilbert Jr. (I) Carol Bertz (I) Chris Anderson Karl Epperson Tramble Stephens Manny Rico (I) Moses Freeman Andraé McGary (I) Yusef Hakeem Peter Murphy (I)

(I) incumbent

chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

Tune Out, Tune In

Pay attention, y’all: Mindfulness comes to the Scenic City

Stephen Cavitt explores the art and science of mindfulness—or paying attention to what is happening in each moment—as the Center for Mindful Living opens in Chattanooga.

Photos by Kim Hunter

Sitting is harder than it sounds.

Yong Oh, one of two local instructors for the international Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course, placed cushions on the floor of his Highland Park acupuncture office.

Co-instructor Janka Livoncova, a yoga teacher and licensed massage therapist, helped me into the proper position, gently moving my body until the pose felt right.

I sat on the forward third of the cushion, my weight tilting the cushion forward until my knees were lower than my hips. This took the pressure off my diaphragm so I could breathe easily. I crossed my

6 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

legs, pressed my shins firmly against the mat and lifted my head. It sounds complicated, but as I settled into the pose, I felt steadier, more supported by the wooden floor.

“Sitting with the spine aligned creates a balance between alertness and relaxation,” said Oh, a licensed acupuncturist and the creator of the Mindful Chattanooga Facebook group. “It’s a posture that’s been formulated over thousands of years as the ideal sitting position.”

For Livoncova and Oh, meditation is one way to develop a quality they call “mindful-

ness,” paying attention to what is happening in each moment.

Founder Jon Kabat-Zinn, who developed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, defines the practice as “open-hearted, non-judgmental, moment-by-moment awareness.”

Modern mindfulness combines classic elements of meditation—like quieting the mind and noticing one’s thoughts— with some serious scientific research. Livoncova and Oh’s website lists dozens of studies on the benefits of mindfulness, including relief from chronic

pain, improved brain function and memory, lower blood pressure and heart rates, and help with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There is even a study that suggests meditation can protect you from the common cold.

As the pair helped me focus on my breath and my physical sensations, Oh said, “We’re not trying to stop thinking, or control what comes up, or get anywhere. I know how silly it is to say that we are sitting to practice being human beings, but that is what we are doing.

It’s quite a radical experience for most Westerners to begin the journey into the body.”

The Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course begins Tuesday, Jan. 8, 2013, at the new Center for Mindful Living on McCallie Avenue. The eightweek course meets once a week for two hours and combines formal practice (sitting meditation, mindful movement and body awareness) with informal practice (remaining mindful in every day life, such as eating and communicating). Those interested can register online at chattanoogambsr.com.

“There’s this misconception that meditation makes people emotionless, or stops their thinking, or turns them into robots,” Oh said. “But actually you become more yourself. You open up to the richness of life.”

T

he richness of life and the richness of the human mind are familiar ground for Annie Harpe, research coordinator for the Department of Plastic Surgery in the University of Tennessee’s College of Medicine in Chattanooga. Harpe cites studies that show mindfulness increases empathy and feelings of connection, as well as a study that shows meditators are among

“

the best in the world at reading body language.

“The only people better than Buddhist monks are C.I.A. agents,” Harpe said in an interview at her home, where crystal singing bowls and house plants share space with rescued dogs.

“For me, it’s all about wonder,” said Harpe, who is a certified yoga teacher and leads mindful movement classes at Focus Healthcare, a treatment center for eating disorders and chemical dependency. “It’s being open to what the world is offering you.”

Harpe said she believes people can remain open to and learn from even unpleasant experiences. “It’s how you choose to respond,” she said. “It’s how can you remain open to whatever it is, even the bad stuff.”

When we are resisting what life hands us, we breathe more shallowly, Harpe explains. Our body enters a fight-or-flight response.

Blood doesn’t flow to the areas of the brain that deal with creativity and problem solving, so we have a hard time seeing the bigger picture. Mindfulness practice

“

For me, it’s all about wonder. It’s being open to what the world is offering you.

Annie Harpe

There’s this misconception that meditation makes people emotionless, or stops their thinking, or turns them into robots.

But actually you become more yourself. You open up to the richness of life.

Yong Oh

Yoga instructor on mindfulness

decreases the flow of blood to the limbic system (which houses our fight-or-flight response) and increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain which helps us pay attention and make wise decisions.

Harpe said she knows this change doesn’t come easily. “It was hard for me to learn to sit still at first,” she said. “I had to trick myself.” She explains that meditation elements like music, mantras (repeated phrases) and prayer beads are all ways to give »P8

Licensed acupuncturist and creator of the Mindful Chattanooga Facebook group

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the mind something to focus on while the system calms itself.

Beginning in January, Harpe will teach some of these practices at the Center for Mindful Living. A mantra meditation class will meet from 5:30 to 6:15 p.m. each Wednesday and a lunchtime drop-in class called “Ten Mindful Minutes,” which offers a short sitting practice and one mindfulness tip, will meet at 12:30 p.m. each Thursday.

But Harpe said she doesn’t believe there is only one way to become mindful. “You don’t have to do yoga, or chant Sanskrit words, or meditate,” she said. “Try these things out for yourself. If they work for you, wonderful. If they don’t, try something else. It’s whatever makes your heart sing.”

M

ention to Jann Sullivan, co-administrator of the new Center for Mindful Living, that it’s hard to find just one definition for mindfulness, and you are liable to see her smile.

“Part of me likes that there’s no definition,” she said. “We’re trying to help people find ways to

“

How can we do this where life feels good, where life doesn’t feel pushed to the edge every single moment?

Jann Sullivan Co-administrator of the new Center for Mindful Living in Chattanooga, on dealing with stress

connect with themselves and the world.”

Sullivan explains that limiting mindfulness to just one way of doing things would limit how individuals could create their own practice.

The Center for Mindful Living, which opens on Jan.1, 2013, is a nonprofit organization in a sprawling building on McCallie Avenue. The center holds a classroom, a wood-paneled library, a

quiet meditation room and a indoor courtyard garden. It is no accident that all of the mindfulness professionals interviewed for this article are involved with the center. The organization grew out of community meetings over the last year, drawing mindfulness practitioners from all around the city.

In addition to the MindfulnessBased Stress Reduction, “Ten Mindful Minutes” and mantra meditations already mentioned, the center will host “A Course in Miracles,” as well as instruction in mindful eating, mindful music, tai chi and spring forest qi gong. Yoga and centering prayer from Christian traditions will be offered soon, and many of the city’s Buddhist groups will move their meetings here.

Sullivan, a licensed massage therapist and bodyworker, is one of a handful of holistic practitioners who rent office space in the building. The Center for Mindful Living is completely staffed by volunteers. A generosity-based economics plan means that members and visitors can donate

8 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction chattanoogambsr.com Mindful Chattanooga Facebook Group facebook.com/ mindfulchattanooga Center for Mindful Living 1212 McCallie Ave. centermindfulliving.org facebook.com/ centerformindfulliving

to pay for others’ classes and outreach programs that carry mindfulness into the community.

Why is mindfulness becoming so popular in Chattanooga? Sullivan said the pressures of modern life make slowing down essential.

“Life is in general stressful for people now,” she said, citing unemployment rates, natural disasters, and the daily flood of texts and emails most people face.

“How can we do this where life

feels good, where life doesn’t feel pushed to the edge every single moment?”

Sullivan suggests that people learn to be mindful by paying attention to one thing that they do every day. For instance, start by “paying attention when you brush your teeth, or paying attention when you’re eating your meal. Instead of watching TV, pay attention to the senses, to the tastes and textures of the food you’re eating.”

This simple activity becomes a practice ground for being aware during the rest of the day. “By choosing one thing you do consistently,” Sullivan said, “it spills over into the other parts of your life.”

Stephen Cavitt, M.F.A., practices and teaches the healing arts in Chattanooga. He teaches in the English department at UTC and is writing a handbook for connecting with nature through the senses and imagination. Cavitt can be reached at stephencavitt. com or via email at stephen@stephencavitt.com.

LIST

ARTSPICK

THE

» pulse PICKS

THU12.27 MUSIC Dark Horse Ten with Endelouz • Shake off the post-Xmas chill with these two great bands.

10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

EVENT “State of the Union” • Gregg Segal stages Civil War figures in front of contemporary suburban landscapes.

10 a.m.-6 p.m. • Warehouse Row • 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 • warehouserow.net

FRI12.28 MUSIC Baby Baby with SoCro • The energy of Baby Baby + the mad science of SoCro = Bad Ass. 10 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 • jjsbohemia.com

EVENT

NYE Y2K13 Here Come The Mummies

• The Mayan apocalypse came and went, but The Mummies are definitely coming for you on New Years Eve at Track 29. A combination of stage show, infectious music and party tunes are what to expect— and The Mummies always deliver.

8 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co

Machines Are People Too, Strung Like A Horse with Lacy Jo and Shark Week

Departure: A Tribute To Journey • Miss The Beak? Catch Departure.

10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

That 90’s New Year!

• Mocs take on High Point at the Roundhouse.

4:30-9 p.m. • UTC McKenzie Arena 720 E. 4th St. • (423) 266-6627• gomocs.com

SAT12.29 MUSIC

EVENT Avant • Power 94 and Groove 93 host the singersongwriter at Bessie’s place.

6 p.m. • Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. • (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org

• Photographer Gregg Segal says he’s interested in time—which is why he stages Civil War soliders in front of strip malls.

THRU 01.31 • 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Monday through Saturday Warehouse Row 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net

» pulse pick OF THE LITTER

• A lineup of local bands who are making big waves now and will be doing so in the coming year. This is the first time MRP2 and Strung Like A Horse have shared a stage and it will be exciting and fun to watch.

10 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

Dr. Pepper Classic

“state of the union”

• Travel back in time as The Power Players kick off the night followed by an all-star band of local musicians playing the full range of ’90s genres and hits, from grunge and funk to rock and pop.

9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

How I Became The Bomb, Summer Dregs • Summer Dregs will be collaborating and rolling out new sounds in the new year. Combined with Nashville fave’s How I Became The Bomb, you’ll blast right into 2013.

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

jjsbohemia.com

New Years Eve Party On The Bluff • The Hunter is the setting for this very special NYE event. With catering from Events With Taste, music from SoundForce Entertainment and an open bar to make it festive, the view will be complimented in grand style.

8:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 9

richard winham

More Than Most In a year when yet another music magazine (Spin) published its last print edition, rock—perennially pronounced dead— was reborn: Bruce Springsteen returned with a collection lamenting our collective loss as effectively as he once celebrated our liberation; Bob Dylan was mining similar territory, albeit with slightly less success; and a host of younger bands defined and re-defined the form for another generation. Electronic dance music ruled (after two decades on the fringes) with a number of bands and singers blurring the lines between dance and rock re-energizing both (Ron Aniello’s contemporary production techniques pushed Springsteen beyond his comfort zone and energizing him.)

It’s not a Top 10 (or 20, or 50)— that’s a term which has become increasingly meaningless as the lists move further away from ranking the selections based on either sales or popular votes

After reading the outraged reactions to Rolling Stone’s recently published list of the Fifty Best Albums of the Year, I decided to put together my own list of some of the albums I (and many of our listeners at WUTC) listened to more than most in the past year.

It’s not a Top 10 (or 20, or 50)— that’s a term which has become increasingly meaningless as the lists move further away from ranking the selections based on either sales or popular votes.

What one or more experts rank as the best albums of the year may well be interesting to the people who know them or rate their opinion, but for most of us they’re largely a topic for debate, annoyance and even outrage, mostly from younger listeners berating their out-of-touch elders.

Springsteen’s album, Wrecking Ball, rated by Rolling Stone as the No. 1 album of the year, is a masterwork from a man whose best work has always drawn on his blue-collar roots. Despite his well-heeled insulation from the everyday problems most of us share, he’s remains rooted in

Richard Winham’s Un-Top 20 Best of 2012 Alabama Shakes Boys & Girls Allah Las Allah Las Calexico Algiers Cat Power Sun Jimmy Cliff Rebirth Iris Dement Sing The Delta Django Django Django Django Justin Townes Earle Nothing’s Gonna Change

The Way You Feel About Me Now

Golden Void Golden Void Grimes Visions Grizzly Bear Shields Japandroids Celebration Rock Van Morrison Born To Sing: No Plan B Beth Orton Sugaring Season Joan Osborne Bring It On Home Kurt Rosenwinkel Star of Jupiter Paul Simon Live in New York City Bruce Springsteen Wrecking Ball The Wallflowers Glad All Over Jack White Blunderbuss

the working class world he knew growing up. He’s a 21st century Woody Guthrie (part of relatively well-heeled middle-class family until his father’s business failed) with a clear-eyed take on the unbridled greed that continues to threaten most of us. In the opening song (often as misunderstood as the earlier “Born In the USA”) he curses the lassitude that left so many stranded—“From the shotgun shack to the Superdome / We yelled ‘Help’ but the cavalry stayed home.” But by the second half of the album—his anger largely dissipated, his characteristically cautious optimism rooted in his faith in his countrymen returning—he sings: “I said, this train, dreams will not be thwarted / This train, faith will be rewarded.”

Other great rock records this year included the newly divorced Jack White’s Blunderbuss. White is out on his own and retooling retro-rockers (“I’m Shakin’”) and creating riffs worthy of his best

10 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

in “Sixteen Saltines.” Celebration Rock, an album by the Canadian duo Japandroids, also caught many ears with old-school, fistpumping arena anthems like the Springsteen-meets-The Ramones rocker, “The House That Heaven Built.”

Several of my favorite albums this year melded ’80s synthpop with 21st-century dance rhythms. The more rock moves from the dance floor the more its essential energy is diluted. Apparently recognizing that Django Django, a young band from Edinburgh in Scotland, mixed Belle and Sebastian and New Order with a dash of T Rex topped by airy Beatle-ish harmonies, creating a seamless collection of catchy, groove-driven pop rockers for its self-titled debut.

Meanwhile on her latest album, Visions, Grimes (the Vancouver-based Claire Boucher) mixed a smorgasbord of sounds, including ’80s synth-pop and Kraftwerk-style robotics with

soaring-to-the-rafters, spun-sugar Cocteau Twins-inspired vocals grounded in sturdy muscular rhythms, that made deliciously danceable dream pop.

But perhaps the most adept blend of downbeat electronica and dolorous lyricism since Massive Attack is Cat Power’s Sun. Few would have expected Chan Marshall to release a collection rivaling any other dance-rock release of the year. She did it by bolstering her world weary lyricism with some very funky drum and bass.

The same could be said for young Jakob Dylan. Long laboring in his dad’s lengthy shadow, he’s beginning to carve his own identity with his band. No longer simply his backing band, The Wallflowers are now a fullfledged unit with everyone reportedly being given an equal say in the final product. The resulting Glad All Over is an album which caused many who’d previously dismissed them to revise their opinion. It’s the younger Dylan’s Highway 61-style liberation, delivering him from shoe-gazing, folky moroseness in a group of rockers firing on all fours (particularly on the Mick Jones’-inspired “Reboot the Mission.”)

I’ve run out of space long before reaching the end of the list.

Other notable albums from Grizzly Bear, Iris Dement, Joan Osborne, Calexico and a re-vitalized Jimmy Cliff, among many others, are as good as any I’ve mentioned. While fewer people are now writing about it (at least in print), more and more people are making it, often with the kind of results that will richly reward anyone willing to take the time to seek it out.

Richard Winham is the producer and host of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Editor’s note: Pulse music critic Ernie Paik has corraled his Top 10 albums of the year from the exhausting collection of music he listens to and reviews each week. Paik’s eclectic taste and intelligent, harmonious and lyrical reviews are a joy to read and revere. Paik knows music—trust these picks.

Wadada Leo Smith

Ten Freedom Summers Any single disc of the overflowing four-CD Ten Freedom Summers may be considered one of the year’s best.

All together, the four-plus hours of music from the avant-garde jazz trumpeter is a mammoth achievement, tackling themes concerning the American Civil Rights Movement with reverence, an adventurous spirit and tremendous resonance, utilizing a superb jazz ensemble and a chamber orchestra.

1

Scott Walker

Bish Bosch Dark and difficult, yet endlessly fascinating, the latest album from the former ’60s crooner and heartthrob mixes both high-brow and

2

low-brow references with a peculiar sense of humor, combining Walker’s wailing, operatic voice, terrifying music with foley work one might expect to hear in an experimental film. Nobody else in the world would dare to make music quite like this.

Shelley Hirsch and Simon Ho

Where Were You Then?

The eccentric, unconventional singer Shelley Hirsch teams up with composer Simon Ho for this vibrant, compelling album that packs an emotional wallop with memorable storytelling, told/ sung using a mind-bogglingly wide variety of vocal styles and accents.

3

Swans

The Seer

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As harrowing and mindscarring as ever, Swans’ latest double-album is sprawling and absorbing, with punishing sonic peaks and tension-wrought spaces. It’s an exhausting journey—not for the weak—that puts a stranglehold on your attention.

The Magnetic Fields

Love at the Bottom of the Sea After numerous themed albums, Stephin Merritt’s pop group The Magnetic Fields emerges with one free from any such expectations, leaving Merritt unfettered to explore his loves (new wave, bubblegum pop) with synth-pop and wickedly clever lyrics in his purely fictional universe with transvestite-crushes, unicornslaying and mariachi obsessions.

5

Deerhoof

Breakup Song Hello Kitty fronts The Who at a Cuban dance party populated by friendly, killer robots.

6

Death Grips

The Money Store Possibly the most unhinged hip-hop album of the year, The Money Store projects a certain kind of terror not through a show of force, but instead using its instability, uncertainty and unexpected methods; every sound is damaged, and every lyric damaging.

7

Trevor Watts & Veryan Weston

Dialogues in Two Places The best pure free-improvisation album of the year is this live doublealbum featuring the British duo of saxophonist Trevor Watts and pianist Veryan Weston. The constant give-and-take is intriguing listening, with instant transformations and the duo’s uncanny ability to create engrossing music out of thin air.

8

Getatchew Mekuria & The Ex & Friends

Y’Anbessaw Tezeta

9

Sensing his life is nearing its end, the Ethiopian saxophonist Mekuria teamed up with the Dutch post-punk band The Ex for another album, this time leaning toward a more sensitive, reflective approach.

Mekuria is as expressive as ever, and the bonus disc of haunting and spirited archival material, reaching back to the ’60s, is outstanding, too.

Melody’s Echo Chamber

Melody’s Echo Chamber French singer Melody Prochet and Tame Impala’s Kevin Parker collaborated on this gorgeous, sun-drenched psychedelic pop album with stick-to-your-ribs tunes, a charming and pretty personality and just the right level of nostalgia.

10

Tune in next week when The Pulse features Ernie Paik’s Top 10 reissues and archival releases, in addition to his first two new reviews of 2013.

—The Editors

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chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live

LIVE MUSIC CHATTANOOGA DEC

DARK HORSE TEN

with ENDELOUZ — Straight up rock Thursday • December 27

Cutless Cult • Asian Teacher Factory

Friday • December 28 Baby Baby • SoCro

Saturday • December 29

Plvnet • Ledfoot Messiah • Black Betty

Monday • December 31 New Year’s Eve Party How I Became The Bomb Summer Dregs

Wednesday • January 2

MILELE ROOTS

A CHRISTMAS REGGAE PARTY

DEPARTURE

A TRIBUTE TO JOURNEY

27 FRI. 10p 28 SAT. 10p 29 THU. 9:30p

NEW YEAR’S EVE • MON. DEC. 31 • 9P

THAT 90’S NEW YEAR’S! THAT 90’S ALL-STAR BAND with THE POWER PLAYERS

Old Flings • Test Dream • Sundale

ALL THE 90’S HITS FROM GRUNGE & ROCK TO POP & R&B

Old Soul • Unspoken Triumph Red Necklace

1/5: APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION, POISON’D, RED WHITE & CREW

Thursday • January 3 Friday • January 4 Water Brothers

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd 423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, Dec. 27 Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, Dec. 28: 9pm Chris Ryan Saturday, Dec. 29: 10pm Hot Damn Monday, Dec. 31: 10pm New Year’s Eve with Liquid Chicken Tuesday, Jan. 1: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials! ●

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

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12 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

Thu 12.27 Dan Landrum and Stephen Seifert 6 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Summer Hullender and Time Starnes 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Open Mic with Hap Heninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Dark Horse Ten with Endelouz 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythmbrews.com Asian Teacher Factory 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

fri 12.28 Mark Merriman 5:30 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com The Mocha Band 7 p.m. Mocha Restaurant & Lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.net Baby Baby and SoCro 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Chris Ryan 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Husky Burnette 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Crossfire 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Milele Roots 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

SOCRO • soCro (aka Southern Croat) takes elements of the European club scene and blends them with the trunk-rattling bass of Southern hip-hop. He loves shitty beer, Chattanooga and Croatian bikinis. Praise him Friday at JJ’s with Baby Baby.

FRI 12.28 • 8 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 • jjsbohemia.com

Jacob Blazer & The Good People 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919

sat 12.29 Keyz Brown 2 p.m.

New Moon Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Road, (423) 265-6321 Mark Merriman 5:30 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Brian Ashley Jones 7 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Scenic City Soul Revue 8 p.m. Mocha Restaurant & Lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.net Summer Hullender and The Embellishers 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terr.

(423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Stoneline 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-453 skyzoochattanooga.com Crossfire 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St.

(423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Departure: A Tribute to Journey 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Hot Damn 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Pistol Town 10 p.m. Raw. 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Plvnet, Ledfoot Messiah and Black Betty 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

Sun 12.30 PeeWee Moore and Friends 8 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919

wed 01.02 Old Flings with Sundale and Test Dream 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse. com. Send music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

CELEBRATE NEW YEARS EVE IN COMFORT!

mon 12.31 • NEW YEAR’S EVE New Year’s Eve Bash with A Night Affair Band 7 p.m. Mocha Restaurant & Lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.net New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com New Year’s Eve with Queen B & the Well Strung Band 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com New Year’s Eve with the Greg Roberts Band 9 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.com.

NYE 2K13 with Leverage 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com GMA New Year’s Eveill Party 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground Music, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 265-8711 Ring in the New Year with Here Come the Mummies 9 p.m. Track 29,

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HOW I BECAME THE BOMB • Perpetual Nashville-based buzz band brings its synthpop to JJ’s on New Year’s Eve with Summer Dregs.

MON 12.31 • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 • jjsbohemia.com

1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co New Year’s Eve with Machines are People Too, Strung Like A Horse, Lacy Jo and Shark Week 10 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com The Pool 9:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com That 90’s New Year’s!

That 90’s All-Star Band

9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Liquid Chicken 10 p.m.

The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 How I Became the Bomb with Summer Dregs 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Pistol Town 10 p.m. Raw 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919

RAW

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511 Broad street 423.386.5921 southerncomfortchatt.com

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LIVE MUSIC THIS WEEKEND

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FRI » 12.28.12 JACOB BLAZER

& THE GOOD PEOPLE

SAT » 12.29.12 PISTOL TOWN oPEN 7 DAYs A wEEk » Full mENu uNTIl 2Am » 21+ » smokINg AllowED TWO FLOORS • One big paRTy • Live MuSic • Dancing • 409 MaRkeT ST • 423.756.1919 chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

“

I am, of course, aware that museums in two places could independently purchase identical sculptures from the same artist.

But this overly mundane and entirely speculative hypothesis seems woefully inadequate to explain this amazing occurrence.

Double Vision

By Rich Bailey The young field of NoogaYorker Studies has been thrown into turmoil in recent weeks by an astonishing new field observation. As the world’s pre-eminent NoogaYorker researcher—OK, the only one—I am always on the lookout for more people like myself who have a foot in the two worlds of Chattanooga and New York City. It’s not enough simply to visit. There must be some kind of historic or (preferably) ongoing presence of roots in both places.

Tom Otterness’ ‘Free Money’ sculptures are NoogaYorkers in bronze.

For example, since The Pulse’s inaugural NoogaYorker report last June, I have learned that Chattanoogan Christie Dillard has moved to New York for some indefinite period of time.

For now at least, while her ultimate location is unknown, she is new NoogaYorker. And David and Mia Littlejohn have been identified as true bi-locational citizens, splitting their time between Chat-

Tom Otterness’ “Free Money” exists at the Nassau County Museum of Art (left) in Long Island, New York, and at the Hunter Museum of American Art in Chattanooga.

tanooga and Manhattan. These new reports are surely the tip of an iceberg that needs much more research, ideally well-funded by a generous foundation that appreciates the creation of new field of human inquiry.

But these sightings pale in comparison to the discovery of NoogaYorker art!

I was intrigued in 2010 to note the remarkable similarities between a nine-foot tall bronze sculpture in front of the Hunter Museum and dozens of smaller bronze sculptures—roughly 12 to 24 inches tall—that populate several subway platforms in the 14th Street-Eighth Avenue subway station in Manhattan.

The larger Chattanooga piece is called “Free Money” by Tom Otterness. It shows a vaguely humanoid cartoon couple dancing—is it a waltz or a

Arts

14 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

tango?—on a giant bag of money.

Otterness also created more than 100 smaller figures in the New York subway that are clearly smaller versions of the same whimsical species. Some show similar money obsessions, sweeping up pennies or climbing on bags of loot. Some seem to be getting mugged by lobsters, beavers, an anthropomorphic telephone and one of those mythical subway alligators that want their money.

Other pieces are more mysterious, like a pair of detached feet that look a bit like the giant Buddha feet that can be seen in Asia.

The whole installation is called “Life Underground.”

That artistic connection, though interesting, did not in itself cross the threshold into NoogaYorker research. But my Spidey Sense—I mean, scientific curiosity—really started to tingle on a visit to the Nassau

County Museum of Art in New York’s Long Island borough, where I found another edition of “Free Money!” This sculpture is a NoogaYorker!

It’s easy enough to understand a human moving to another city for a new job, but by what mechanism could an artistic creation live in two places?

I am, of course, aware that museums in two places could independently purchase identical sculptures from the same artist. But this overly mundane and entirely speculative hypothesis seems woefully inadequate to explain this amazing occurrence.

Does this discovery suggest free will on the part of bronze sculptures, for example? Or could these two sculptures have mated in some metallic ménage a quatre and left their little bronze offspring in the subway? (Growing up feral in the subway might account for the pair of bronze juvenile delinquents who are taking a crosscut saw to one of the columns supporting the station!)

No answers have yet presented themselves, but I am confident that further study will shed more light on this new aspect of ... the NoogaYorker.

Screen

JOHN DEVORE

‘Guilt’-Free ‘Vacation’ As I’ve mentioned before, Chattanooga can be a frustrating place to live for a film fan. The close proximity of Nashville and Atlanta makes it so that we never get the good films when they open. We haven’t seen “Hitchcock” in local theaters yet, “The Sessions” was at The Rave for a week before it vanished to make room for more kid’s movies, and “Zero Dark Thirty” is nowhere to be found, despite being released widely on Dec. 19.

So instead of one of the most talked about movies of the year opening in the Scenic City, we get “The Guilt Trip,” a film starring Seth Rogen and Barbara Streisand about an overbearing Jewish mother and a henpecked adult son. As it’s the holiday season, I can’t afford much, and spending even the matinee price of $7.75 to see a formulaic comedy made for people who like Streisand is not my idea of fiscal responsibility. It’s important for a discerning moviegoer to know when to throw in the towel and stay home. This week is a good candidate. However, if you do want to see a movie this week, why not head over to Carmike East Ridge (formerly The Rave) and see something older, and funnier, and classic: “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

Almost everyone has seen the film—much like other classic Christmas films like A” Christmas Story,” “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Die Hard,” “Christmas Vacation” is almost always playing on one channel or another during the season. It’s the story of hapless Clark Griswold, his wife Ellen, and a rotating cast of family members, including the quintessential white trash cousin Eddie, as they try to have the elusive perfect family Christmas. It’s based on the John Hughes short

story, “Christmas ’59,” and contains all of the elements that worked in the first “Vacation” film, but doesn’t try to reinvent the franchise.

Arguably, “Christmas Vacation” is better than “Vacation,” as it brings all of the chaos of vacation into the Griswold’s house, meaning that no one, not even the slimy neighbors, can escape from Clark’s merrymaking. The “Vacation” films are about how horrible family togetherness can be; sometimes sharing in the misery of the event is the only way to cope with the perfect storm of arguments and disappointment we’ve all come to expect from each other.

Whether it’s Aunt Bethany reciting the Pledge of Allegiance while saying Grace and wrapping up her cat as a present, or

Cousin Eddie being out of work for seven years and not having any presents for his kids, or the electric meter on the house spinning wildly whenever the Christmas lights are on, there is something in this film that everyone can relate to. This is what makes good comedy—the audience understands it, it’s simple and plausible, and it’s executed well. Most of us have someone in our lives that is like one of these people, be it Clark Griswold or crusty Uncle Lewis. Much of the film is an exaggeration of course, but the exaggeration is only slight—the absurdity is only enough to make us laugh and not enough to make us disbelieve.

This week, rather than wasting your time on a poorly reviewed, rehashed new comedy, watch something that has stood the test of time. Show Hollywood that Chattanooga demands quality films, and if they aren’t going to release them here, we’ll be more than happy to watch something that was released 23 years ago.

I can promise you that you’ll enjoy the experience more. If you have kids who haven’t seen “Christmas Vacation,” seeing it in the theater will only enhance their experience. Maybe you’ll even capture some of those important Christmas memories that Clark is forever seeking. Merry Christmas, folks.

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chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

Happier New Year!

Arts&Entertainment Thu 12.27 “State of the Union” Civil War Exhibit 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net Natural Treasures Trading Post 2-4 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Josh Phillips 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road, (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

fri 12.28

Fine Wine, Spirits & Champagne for New Year’s Eve

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

16 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

CALENDAR

“Femme:” An Art Exhibition 9-5 p.m. Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453, shuptrines.com “State of the Union” Civil War Exhibit 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net Holidays Under the Peaks (Thru Jan. 6) 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 tnaqua.org Dr. Pepper Classic 4:30-9 p.m.

UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 E. 4th St. (423) 266-6627 gomocs.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 6-9 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Josh Phillips 7 & 9:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Lucas Bohn 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St.

“state of the union” • Photographer Gregg Segal says he’s interested in time— which is why he stages Civil War soliders in front of strip malls, such as the image above of Confederate horseman Todd Kern on the (Second) Kernstown battlefield in Virginia. View more of Segal’s surrealistic Civil War photos at Warehouse Row. THRU 01.31 • 10 a.m.-5 p.m. • Monday through Saturday Warehouse Row • 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 • warehouserow.net

(423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sat 12.29 “State of the Union” Civil War Exhibit 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net Holidays Under the Peaks (Thru Jan. 6) 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 tnaqua.org Marbling Art 11 a.m.- 12 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Dr. Pepper Classic 4:30-9 p.m.

UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 E. 4th St. (423) 266-6627 gomocs.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 6-9 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road.

Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Josh Phillips

7 & 9:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Elite Wrestling Alliance Fan Appreciation Night 8-10:30 p.m. Elite Wrestling Alliance, 2508 Glass St. (423) 508-8811 aiwfwrestling.net Lucas Bohn 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sun 12.30 Ruby Falls Discovery Day 9 a.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254 rubyfalls.com “State of the Union” Civil War Exhibit 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net Holidays Under the Peaks (Thru Jan. 6) 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 tnaqua.org

mon 12.31 • NEW YEAR’S EVE New Year’s at Noon 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org New Year’s Eve at Hair of the Dog 11 a.m.- 1:30 a.m.

Hair of the Dog, 334 Market St. (423) 265-4615 hairofthedogpub.net Southern Belle Riverboat’s New Year’s on the River Cruise 4:30 & 8 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(800) 766-2784 chattanooga riverboat.com New Year’s Eve “Sleep in the Deep” 6:45 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com

Marbling Art 11 a.m.- 12 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Enchanted Garden of Lights 6-9 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Josh Phillips 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road, (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

tue 01.01 The Southern Scuffle 9 a.m.- 7 p.m.

UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 E. 4th St. (423) 266-6627 thesouthernscuffle.com “State of the Union” Civil War Exhibit 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net Winter Wonders 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St.

New Year’s Eve with Josh Phillips and Koe Kilgallon 7/9:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road, (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com 2012 New Year’s Weekend Soul & Celebration Tour 7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com New Year’s Eve Bash: A Night Affair Band 7 p.m. Mocha Restaurant & Lounge, 3116 Brainerd Road (423) 531-4154 mochajazz.net New Year’s Gospel Jubilee 2012 7 p.m. The Colonnade Center, Benton Place Campus, Ringgold, Ga. (423) 718-4682

(423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Juried Members Exhibition 11 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Ava Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org January Sale at Georgia Winery 12-5 p.m. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 6-9 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

wed 01.02 The Southern Scuffle 9 a.m.- 7 p.m.

UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 E. 4th St. (423) 266-6627 thesouthernscuffle.com Kids’ Days Out: Celebrate Winter 9 a.m.- 3:30 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St.

colonnadecenter.org “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com New Year’s Eve at Southern Comfort 8 p.m. Southern Comfort, 511 Broad St. (423) 386-5921 southern comfortclub.com New Year’s Eve at the Hunter 8:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org NYE 2013 at The Social 10 p.m. Public House, 1110 Market St. (423) 802-5270 publichouse chattanooga.com

(423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “State of the Union” Civil War Exhibit 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127 warehouserow.net Juried Members Exhibition 11 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Ava Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave,.

(423) 265-4282 avarts.org January Sale at Georgia Winery 12-5 p.m. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 6-9 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse. com. Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

E BRAINERD 1414 JENKINS ROAD 423.468.4960 NORTH SHORE 214 MANUFACTURERS ROAD 423.580.1162 PUREBARRE.COM chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 17

Sushi & Biscuits

MIKE MCJUNKIN

Demand Asian Delivery—Now! Christmas just isn’t complete until I sit down with an oversized mug of spiked sipping hot chocolate and watch the ’80s classic, “A Christmas Story.” Seeing Ralphie struggle through the holidays and pine over the coveted Red Ryder BB gun always reminds me of my childhood and the year I petitioned Santa for a brass and pewter Matfer Bourgeat duck press. Unlike Ralphie, I was not rewarded for my good behavior and did not receive a shiny canard presse that year. Instead, I had to settle for an Evil Knievel stunt cycle which I used to torment my mother who I still blame for the duck press shaped hole in my heart that remains to this day.

Why do we not have dependable, affordable and plentiful Asian delivery restaurants?

Lack of demand, say local Asian restaurateurs.

Let’s change that.

The final, and funniest, scene in “A Christmas Story” takes place in a small Chinese restaurant (called Chop Suey Palace for you trivia buffs) on Christmas Day. While I have no serious interest in eating westernized Chinese food on Christmas Day while a trio of waiters with a tenuous grasp on English belt out Christmas carols, I do get a craving for Asian food during the hustle and bustle of trying to pick out just the right slab of gift bacon for

that special lady.

Of course, after a long day of battling soccer moms for a parking space at World Market I just want to get home as quickly as possible, slip into a nice smooth glass of brown liquor and have food brought directly to my front door. But there is a problem with this perfect postmodern holiday scenario—Asian restaurants in Chattanooga don’t deliver.

How can this be? What have we done to anger the delivery gods? What sacrifices must be made to appease the lords of takeout so that my fellow Chattanoogans and I can have General Tso’s Chicken and other Asian delights brought straight to our doorstep? It’s not as though Asian food delivery is a new or unusual concept. There are print references to Chinese food delivery from the Kin-Chu Cafe in Los Angeles from as early as 1922. The earliest reference for pizza delivery only goes back to 1953, but you can’t swing a pizza peel around in Chattanooga without hitting a pizza place that delivers.

To be fair, there are ways to get Asian food delivered to you in Chattanooga, but the criteria

are narrow and strict. Restaurants such as Hunan Wok on 23rd Street offer delivery, but only when they have the staff available or when the owner is in a good mood—or when the moon is in the right phase.

They have a strict $15 minimum order, which seems like pocket change when compared to Panda Chinese in Hixson, who will deliver as long as you’re ordering at least $40 worth or more.

There’s always Dinner Delivered, who have a decent selection of Asian restaurants to choose from for a $5 delivery fee and a $15 minimum order, but they are essentially picking up your to-go order from restaurants that do not deliver. If we wanted to get technical geographically, University Pizza on Vine Street delivers Middle Eastern food and the Middle East is technically Asia, but when I want Asian food delivered I’m not usually thinking falafel or baba ganoush, even if it is delicious and delivered.

So the question remains why, in a city the size of Chattanooga, do we not have dependable, affordable and plentiful Asian delivery restaurants? Where are the

fleets of cars delivering sacks of white Fold-Pak take-out cartons full of sweet and sour pork or dim sum? (Interesting fact: Those clever, white, wire-handled takeout cartons are called “food pails” and were originally invented as oyster pails.) It’s not that Chattanooga is too spread out or that we’re bad tippers, or that insurance rates are higher here than in other cities. The reason we are in an Asian food delivery desert is a perceived lack of demand.

When I’ve asked owners of Asian restaurants here in Chattanooga why they don’t deliver, the most common answer comes down to demand; they do not believe enough Chattanoogans want Asian food delivered to make it viable for their business. So, People of Chattanooga, let your voices be heard! Tell the owners and managers of your favorite Asian restaurants that you want delivery and encourage your friends to do the same. We have to show these business owners that Chattanoogans deserve more choice from their delivery options than just thin crust or thick. Say it with me now: What do we want? Asian food delivery!

When do we want it? Now! Join Mike McJunkin in demanding Asian food delivery in Chattanooga by visiting him on Facebook.com/SushiandBiscuits.

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chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 19

Free Will Astrology CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the fable of the golden goose? The farmer who owned it became impatient because it laid only one gold egg per day. So he killed it, thinking he would thereby get the big chunk of gold that must be inside its body.

Alas, his theory was mistaken.

There was no chunk. From then on, of course, he no longer got his modest daily treasure. I nominate this fable to be one of your top teaching stories of 2013. As long as you’re content with a slow, steady rate of enrichment, you’ll be successful.

raise your levels of righteous success. If you’re a struggling songwriter, I’ll be pushing for you to get your music out to more people —without sacrificing your artistic integrity. If you’re a kindergarten teacher, I’ll prompt you to fine-tune and deepen the benevolent influence you have on your students.

If you’re a business owner, I’ll urge you to ensure that the product or service you offer is a well-honed gift to those who use it. As I trust you can see, Virgo, I’m implying that impeccable ethics will be crucial to your ascent in the coming year.

AQUARIUS

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are some of the experiences I hope to help you harvest in the coming year: growing pains that are interesting and invigorating rather than stressful; future shock that feels like a fun joyride rather than a bumpy rumble; two totally new and original ways to get excited; a good reason to have faith in a dream that has previously been improbable; a fresh supply of Innocent CrazyWise Love Truth; and access to all the borogoves, mome raths and slithy toves you could ever want.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): After Libran poet Wallace Stevens won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1955, Harvard University offered him a job as a full professor.

But he turned it down. He couldn’t bear leaving his day job as the vicepresident of an insurance company in Hartford, Conn. I suspect that in the first half of 2013, you will come to a fork in the road that may feel something like Stevens’ quandary. Should you stick with what you know or else head off in the direction of more intense and unpredictable stimulation? I’m not here to tell you which is the better choice; I simply want to make sure you clearly identify the nature of the decision.

BREWER MEDIA IS HIRING

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We will furthermore strive to ensure that as you deepen and finetune your self-discipline, it will not be motivated by self-denial or obsessive control-freak tendencies. Rather, it will be an act of love that you engage in so as to intensify your ability to express yourself freely and beautifully.

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The ideal candidate has been a successful sales person, loves Chattanooga, and excels in cultivating relationships with area businesses.

Qualified candidates will possess: Excellent written and verbal command of the English language; Organization of time with a laser-focus attention to detail, plus amazing follow through; audience- and needsbased selling approach (and knowing what that means); Outgoing and influential personality with a positive attitude (save your drama for your momma); Ability to generate your own business and to think creatively for clients. The position offers you product training, a base salary plus commission on all sales, bonuses, and the ability to get free passes to events! We also have a few radio stations you can represent as well. To be considered, please email a cover letter, resume, and salary history to : Mike Baskin: mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Subject: “Sales Job” The Pulse Advantage: With the most comprehensive news, arts and entertainment coverage in Chattanooga, The Pulse has become the most reliable media resource for an extremely diverse readership. Each and every week, more than 30,000 active, educated, affluent and highly influential consumers make many of their purchasing decisions based on advertisements they see on the pages of The Pulse.

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20 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience,” said French painter Paul Cezanne. What do you think he meant by that?

Here’s one interpretation: Many of us replay the same old emotions over and over again—even in response to experiences that are nothing like the past events when we felt those exact feelings. So a genius might be someone who generates a fresh emotion for each new adventure. It can be hard to get excited about continually repeating the basic tasks of our regular routines day after day. But a genius might be someone who is good at doing just that. I think that by both of these definitions, 2013 could be a genius year for you Aquarians.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20): Home is not just the building where you live. It’s more than the community that gives you support and the patch of earth that comforts you with its familiarity. Home is any place where you’re free to be your authentic self; it’s any power spot where you can think your own thoughts and see with your own eyes. I hope and trust that in 2013 you will put yourself in position to experience this state of mind as often as possible. Do you have any ideas about how to do that? Brainstorm about it on a regular basis for the next six months.

ARIES

(March 21-April 19): In the sci-fi film trilogy “The Matrix,” the heroes are able to instantaneously acquire certain complex skills via software that’s downloaded directly into their brains. In this way, the female hacker named Trinity masters the art of piloting a military M-109 helicopter in just a few minutes. If you could choose a few downloads like that, Aries, what would they be? This isn’t just a rhetorical question meant for your amusement. In 2013, I expect that your educational capacity will be exceptional. While you may not be able to add new skills as easily as Trinity, you’ll be pretty fast and efficient.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): In her gallery show “Actuality, Reminiscence, and Fabrication,” artist Deborah Sullivan includes a piece called “Penance 1962.” It consists of a series of handwritten statements that repeats a central theme: “I must not look at boys during prayer.” I’m assuming it’s based on her memory of being in church or Catholic school when she was a teenager. You probably have an analogous rule lodged somewhere in the depths of your unconscious mind. The coming year will be an excellent time to banish that ancient nonsense for good. If you were Deborah Sullivan, I’d advise you to fill a whole notebook page with the corrected assertion: “It’s OK to look a boys during prayer.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For years, the gravestone of Irish dramatist Oscar Wilde was covered with kissshaped lipstick marks that were left by his admirers. Unfortunately, Wilde’s descendants decided to scour away all those blessings and erect a glass wall around the tomb to prevent further displays of affection. In my astrological opinion, Leo, you should favor the former style of behavior over the latter in 2013. In other words, don’t focus on keeping things neat and clean and well-ordered. Be extravagant and uninhibited in expressing your love for the influences that inspire you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2013, I hope to conspire with you to

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will try to help you retool, reinvent, and reinvigorate yourself in every way that’s important to you. I will encourage you to reawaken one of your sleeping aptitudes, recapture a lost treasure, and reanimate a dream you’ve neglected. If you’re smart, Scorpio, you will reallocate resources that got misdirected or wasted. And I hope you will reapply for a privilege or position you were previously denied, because I bet you’ll win it this time around.

Here are your words of power for the year ahead: resurrection and redemption.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Based on experiments at the Large Hadron Collider, a team of physicists in France and Switzerland announced last July that they had tentatively discovered the Higgs Boson, which is colloquially known as the “God particle.”

What’s all the fuss? In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik quoted an expert who sought to explain: “The Higgs boson is the WD40 and duct tape of the universe, all rolled into one.” Is there a metaphorical equivalent of such a glorious and fundamental thing in your life, Sagittarius? If not, I predict you will find it in 2013. If there already is, I expect you will locate and start using its 2.0 version.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“Spellbound”—if it sounds good, do it!

Across

1. Big ___ (David Ortiz’s nickname) 5. Frappe need 8. Main man 11. Italian region big on terra cotta 14. Bashar al-Assad’s country: abbr.

15. ___ in “Oscar” 16. Written test involving a sly prison breakout?

17. Instances where everyone sings the same note 19. Carry 20. “C’mon, those sunglasses don’t fool me!”

22. Abbr. on a food label 24. “Star Trek: TNG” captain Jean-___ Picard 25. “Pericles, Prince of ___” 26. Palindromic Eskimo knife 29. The right side of the Urals 31. Blue material 33. Attila the ___ 34. Martini & ___ (winemakers)

36. Like some factory seconds: abbr.

39. Statement from a codependent tent dweller?

42. Half-woman, half-bird 43. Like simple survey questions 44. “Don’t do drugs” ad, for short 45. Societal problems 47. Varieties of fish eggs 48. Part of CBS 49. Earth goddess of Greek mythology 51. Suffix after real, in the U.K. 53. Spider’s egg case 55. How quickly pachyderms get seen at the hospital?

58. Nobel Peace Prize city 62. How pasta may be prepared 63. Help save people, like a trained dog?

65. Singer Carly ___ Jepsen 66. “CNN Headline News” anchor Virginia 67. Source of Pablo

Escobar’s wealth 68. When an airplane’s scheduled to take off: abbr.

69. Azerbaijan, once: abbr.

70. Beat but good

Down

1. “Hey, over here!”

2. Amy of “Dollhouse” 3. Tabloid photographer, slangily 4. Like the freshest fruit 5. Trooper maker 6. They’re tough to convince 7. Idle of Monty Python fame 8. Sneaky security measures 9. Down time, for short 10. Actor Davis 11. Broadway show purchase: abbr.

12. Actor Tognazzi (hidden in YUGOSLAVIA) 13. “Upstairs at Eric’s” band 18. It’s got rings 21. Completely wasted 23. Strawberry in the field

26. “That definitely isn’t looking good” 27. Suzanne Vega song with the lyric “I live on the second floor” 28. Took off the list, maybe 30. Words before “old chap” 32. Brunch drink 35. ___ facto 37. Website for crafty sorts 38. Stats on report cards 40. Likely to sleep in 41. Held by a third party 46. Large pie pieces 49. Driving hazard 50. G-sharp, alternatively 52. Javelin, basically 54. ___ vin (chicken dish) 56. The last two were in St. Paul and Tampa 57. “Up All Night” network 59. Sound at the barbershop 60. Lead-in to O 61. “Yahoo!” to a matador 64. Part of HS

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0603.

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chattanoogapulse.com • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

East Ridge Ruffled I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention, but there has been a lot of feather ruffling lately in the government of one of our neighboring municipalities, East Ridge. TheChattanoogan.com has done a wonderful job of reporting every juicy detail, so I want to take this opportunity to paraphrase some of the highlights.

• Dec. 10: A power shift started in East Ridge with the election of Jim Bethune as vice mayor. Bethune takes the post previously held by Larry Sewell.

During the last administration, Sewell had formed a voting bloc with Mayor Brent Lambert and Councilman Darwin Branham on many issues, often outvoting Bethune. A reception followed.

• Dec. 13: East Ridge City Council votes 3-2 to fire City Attorney John Anderson, who had been criticized for his charges to the city, effective immediately.

Vice Mayor Larry Sewell said the termination was leaving the city in the lurch because it has a major court case coming up next week. After a debate over the question was stopped, Mayor Brent Lambert called it “bush league” but moved on with the vote.

He then wished everyone a “Merry Christmas” and had ex-city attorney Anderson lead in a prayer.

• In a raucous four-hour meeting, members of the East Ridge City Council lambasted City Manager Tim Gobble over his hiring of a 19-year-old with a $35,000 annual salary.

Councilman Bethune said when he arrived at the city Christmas party he immediately heard from five female employees who all make less than the new hire. Councilman Manning said that all he has seen the new employee, who attends church with Gobble, do is wash the city

22 • The Pulse • DECEMBER 27, 2012-JANUARY 2, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

manager’s car, get the oil changed, get him Cokes and fetch his umbrella for him. Gobble defended the hiring of Chris Clabough as administrative assistant and grants coordinator, calling him extremely bright and personable. “He handles people well and made a high score on his ACT.” • Dec. 14: East Ridge City Council votes to nix the idea of altering the fire and police departments to include a number of public safety officers, who would be trained for both duties. Public Safety Director Eddie Phillips said there would be three firefighters and six police officers trained to handle both duties. That would allow, he said, the public safety officers to be on police patrol, then switch hats for a fire call.

• East Ridge City Council, in a special meeting, named Hal North as interim city attorney on a threemonth trial basis. Councilman Marc Gravitt and Vice Mayor Jim Bethune both praised North. Mayor Lambert said he was taken aback because he said Vice Mayor Bethune had told him he wanted to name attorney Cris Helton to the post. Council

members Gravitt, Bethune and Manning voted in favor. Councilman Sewell paused for a time and then said yes. Mayor Lambert abstained.

• Dec. 15: A new majority on the East Ridge City Council has asked Public Safety Director Eddie Phillips to stop driving a Cadillac Escalade. Vice Mayor Jim Bethune said, “We don’t need a Cadillac Escalade running the streets.” Phillips said the state Department of Safety awarded the Escalade, seized from a multiple DUI offender, to the East Ridge Police Department.

It was wrecked and simply required $7,200 to repair.

He stated “The city was in need of three police vehicles and the decision was made to buy two vehicles and use this Escalade at a cost of $7,200 instead of another new car at $23,000-$25,000+.” Phillips told the council he was driving it “because it saved us buying one. We don’t care (about keeping it). I’m not emotionally attached to it.” Then he added, “I’m walking home.”

Wow. This is the kind of small town drama you just can’t make up. Priceless. I’m keeping an eye on further developments and will report them as soon as possible.

Have a great New Year’s Eve and New Year!

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and man about town. His opinions are his own.

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