The Pulse 9.23 » June 7-13, 2012

June 7-13, 2012

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Stalking the Wild

NoogaYorker

Is it prideful to boast our largest inventory...ever?

2012 Audi A4

2012 Audi A5 Cabriolet

2012 Audi A6

2012 Audi Q5

If Audi makes it, we probably have it. And probably more than one. We are sitting on the largest Audi inventory in our history.

(And sales is open Monday)

Audi C H AT TA N O O G A

6001 International Drive

(423) 855-4981 audichattanooga.com

2 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Since 2003

INSIDE

ARE YOU A NoogayorkER? Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative ChattanoogaPulse.com • Facebook.com/ChattanoogaPulse

EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • John DeVore • Randall Gray Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib • Paul Hatcher Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Chris Kelly D.E. Langley • Mike McJunkin • David Morton Ernie Paik • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Cartoonists Max Cannon • Richard Rice Tom Tomorrow Photography Jason Dunn • Josh Lang Interns Katie Johnston • Patrick Noland • Cole Rose

Do you travel between Chattanooga and New York frequently?

Are you from New York but live in Chattanooga, or vice versa?

Read Rich Bailey’s report on Page 6.

HIGHLIGHTS

JUNE 7-13, 2012 • vol. 9 no. 23

Below: Expatriate New Yorkers in Chattanooga are gravitating to the New York Pizza Department in Hixson for a slice of home.

Photo • Jason Dunn

ADVERTISING Account Executives Rick Leavell • Emma Regev

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp?

1305 Carter St. • Chattanooga, TN 37402

On the cover

• NoogaYorkers gather on Memorial Day in New York for the annual Fish & Grits party to introduce Yankee friends to the tradition of Southern hospitality. Front: Eric Grimm, Su Hendrickson and Alexandra Bailey. Back: Andy Still, Emily Snyder, Anne Boatner, Joey Eichler and Zeke Virant. Photo • Lesha Patterson

letters

Please limit letters to 300 words or less. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

COVER story

the fine print

NoogaYorkers

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

• In his travels between the two cities, Rich Bailey discovered the phenomenon of the NoogaYorker. It is a young science and there are many species. His initial report scratches the surface. » 6

© 2012 Brewer Media BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

MUSIC

Riverbend’s Roster

• Bonnaroo has glitz, but Riverbend has some great acts with grit.

By Richard Winham » 11

honest music

local and regional shows

Badgercannon with Octopus Jones ($3)

Wed, Jun 6

JK and the Lost Boys ($3)

Thu, Jun 7

9pm 9pm

Two Man Gentlemen Band with The Snake Doctors ($5 Adv./$7 Door)

Sun, Jun 10

9pm

Struttin’ Blues & New Orleans Jazz with Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers and Kristin Diable and the City ($5)

Mon, Jun 11

8:30pm

Free Irish Music • Sundays at 7pm • 6/17: John Lathim • 6/24: Molly Maguires

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

TALK OF THE NOOG chattanoogapulse.com • facebook/chattanoogapulsE SEND LETTERS TO: INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

BESSIE SMITH STRUT

Strut, Revised

McGary details changes for street party changes to the bessie smith strut have led to some misconceptions about the beloved annual street party, happening on Monday, June 11, on Martin Luther King Boulevard. The Pulse asked City Councilman and State Senate candidate Andraé McGary to help clear up the confusion.

A popular one-night event for blues and jazz music, the Bessie Smith Strut has been evolving and changing since its inception in the 1980s, McGary said.

“Although this year some of the most pressing issues were heightened—not to mention the manner in which the mayor

went about addressing them—in the end, we worked hard to ensure not only that there would be a Strut, but also that we could put to rest the issues that plagued the Strut in the past,” he said.

So what can you expect to be different for this year’s Strut?

• You may have to pay a slight entrance fee. Riverbend pin holders will get in free, while others may pay $5 in advance or $10 at the gate.

• Young people under the age of 18 will not be admitted without a parent and/or guardian accompanying them.

• Expect a safer, more secure Strut.

Fencing has been added this year in addition to the standard presence of Chattanooga’s finest. Also, look for volunteers to assist with directions, medical needs, etc.

• Vending will be more tightly supervised. Instead of allowing anyone to set up shop, the Bessie Smith Cultural Center has been going about it the right way by requiring all vendors to apply for a permit through them. This will better ensure both the quality of the product being sold as well as ease for enforcement.

“Yes, there are some differences, but in the end, it will be the same ol’ Strut,” McGary said. “All in all, this year’s Strut promises to be the best, most sophisticated Strut ever. I think if she were alive, Bessie Smith herself would be all smiles— she may even have to quit the blues, at least for a day.”

—Ernie Paik

COMMUNITY

Heading Habitat the board of habitat for humanity of Greater Chattanooga Area has appointed Donna C. Williams as its new executive director.

“Donna brings a wide variety of experience in marketing, sales, planning, and real estate to her new role with Habitat,” says Linda Mines, president of the board of Habitat for Humanity of Greater Chattanooga Area.

Since returning to her native Chattanooga in 2001, Williams has served as a strategy, sales and marketing consultant to several teams consisting of private and public partners for the redevelopment of some of Chattanooga’s historically underserved neighborhoods. Prior to her return home, Williams held sales and marketing positions with Apple, technology divisions Simon & Schuster/Viacom, Elemental Interactive/Gray Advertising and World African Network.

Her community involvement has included service on the board of Habitat for Humanity of Greater Chattanooga Area, the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga’s Chancellor’s Roundtable, the board of the Chattanooga Girl’s Leadership Academy, and the board of Cornerstone, Inc. —Staff

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grants

MakeWork to award $75,000 in grants in 2012 applications for 2012 makework Arts Grants are now available online. A minimum $75,000 in grants will be awarded to local artists, with the maximum award to an individual artist being $10,000. MakeWork will host an application training session at green|spaces at 5 p.m. on June 6 for local creatives to learn about the grant process from former jurors, recipients and staff.

“MakeWork artists are a force for growth in the local economy and a voice for innovation. Our grants reinforce the value of this unique sector of the workforce and build their ability to help shape Chattanooga as an emerging creative economy,” said Kate Creason, program director for MakeWork.

Founded in 2008, MakeWork grants are awarded in three categories: Project Grants, Studio Assistance, or Career Advancement Grants. Evaluation and selection of grantees are made by a jury who represent a broad range of experience in the performing arts, 2-D and 3-D visual arts, literary arts, culinary arts and new media.

Previous MakeWork recipients include chocolate makers, portrait artists, musicians, cutting-edge graphic designers and performing artists. Along with sharing their work with the community, MakeWork artists commit to attend four sustainability sessions, participate in a self initiated showcase of their work and post a monthly blog.

Since 2008, MakeWork has awarded a total of $655,000 to 86 creative individuals.

“MakeWork stands out as one of America’s most successful, and sustainable, arts grants programs to date. Grantees have had a powerful impact on the community by documenting local character and engaging the public with performances, discussions, and showcases,” said Ellen Hays, advisory co-chair for MakeWork.

For more information about the MakeWork, contact Kate Creason by email at kate@makework.is or by calling (423) 771-6610.

—Staff The Pulse welcomes news releases of interest to the Chattanooga cultural, arts and creative community. Send them to: info@chattanoogapulse.com.

On the Beat

alex teach

Zombie Apocalypse Now “he was a good kid,” said ruth charles about her son rudy eugene.

“He gave me a nice card on Mother’s Day.” And then he died naked under a hail of gunfire as he refused to stop eating the face of a 65-year-old vagrant, growling at a fairly surprised policeman as he shot him.

The card was a sweet gesture, Mrs. Charles, but the whole “Nekkid and eating a man’s face off while not responding to gunfire” trumps it fairly solidly: The verdict is in and the gavel has fallen, with a resounding “ZOMBIE!” being screamed in judgment. “Bailiff, shoot him in the head. The head, mind you. Next case?”

This story is so big that no one has focused on the racial make-up of the officer and suspect, which is all that ever matters (as opposed to the offense for which he was shot). Sure, out of pure instinct a family member is quoted by one press outlet as trying to argue that “they should have just pulled him off of that man and arrested him” for the excessive use of force angle. But apparently people have such a hard time getting past “Holy Sweet Crap! He was actually eating that man’s face and growling!” that the “excessive force” aspect of this incident is getting a mulligan, having been overshadowed by the fact that he was actually eating that man’s face and growling, making shooting his crazy homicidal ass seem more reasonable than wrestling with him (and risking infection—we’ve seen the movies too, folks).

A story this bizarre happens from time to time, but I’m like the rest of you and starting to see a larger picture emerging here: Three days ago, I read about a 21-year-old Maryland student named Al-

exander Kinyua who just admitted to killing his roommate and consuming his heart and (you guessed it) brains. Zombie? No. But he was eating a dude’s brains. His freakin’ brains, people.

Same week: • A college professor in Sweden decides to punish his young wife for a suspected affair by cutting off her lips and eating them.

He didn’t want the lips to be able to be sewn back on, he explained, for which I have to give a nod to his attention to detail. (Zombie?

No. But Hannibal Lechter-like stories related to cannibalism get an honorable mention, and timing is a factor.)

• Bergen County SWAT officers in Hackensack, N.J., encountered a 44-year-old man who stabbed himself in the gut more than 40 times and began throwing his intestines at the police officers.

Zombie? This one is your call. Don’t let me sway you, but despite the lack of cannibalism, I am still leaning towards him being one of the undead.

He threw his own intestines at police and that is “Zombie Cred” if I ever heard it before.

(Tell you what, let’s just

pause here a second: This man cut himself open and threw his own guts at responding officers. What the hell? I have seen some comparable shit, folks, but damn. What day did they teach you how to deal with that in the Academy?

I mean, holy … freakin … crap. You know their liquor costs skyrocketed that week.)

The Maryland, Florida, and New Jersey suspects were all black males, which clearly makes this a racist epidemic, but even that aspect has been untouched due to the truly horrific nature of these crimes. They don’t need that extra traction, that “Holy shit—you mean this isn’t a white guy in the Trayvon Martin shooting?!,” that extra “zing” to keep the conversation going. Because what sells better than signs of the End Times and coming Zombie Apocalypse?

That’s a story that doesn’t need any extra bells and whistles.

Be aware of your surroundings, faithful readers, and take these two bits of advice: Machetes don’t run out of ammunition and not all the undead will be naked drugged up maniacs, so don’t let your guard down.

Until next week. I hope.

Alex Teach is a fulltime police officer of nearly 20 years experience.

The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook. com/alex.teach. chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

I NOOGA YORK

Stalking the Wild NoogaYorker

T

By Rich Bailey

he birth of a new science is notoriously difficult to pinpoint.

When did natural history—amateurs collecting specimens in the countryside—become biology? No one knows a date, but at some point in the 18th or 19th century the dilettante with a butterfly net gave way to the professional in a lab coat.

It’s possible, just possible, that the muchbeloved pastime of tracking transplants to and from Chattanooga may be undergoing just such a transformation from hobby to science. Who among us has not dabbled in collecting quasi-genealogies of newcomers to the Scenic City or of Chattanooga expatriates in the big world outside? With no thought of transcending such amateurish pursuits, I recently stumbled into a line of inquiry that may give unexpected insight into the seemingly random comings and goings from our fair city.

After moving from Chattanooga to New

6 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

York City in 2010, and then moving back in 2011, I began to suspect the existence of a new hybrid, neither Chattanoogan nor New Yorker. Indeed, I suspected myself to be one, having left my wife and daughter in New York and now going back and forth frequently. So in the same spirit as the amateur botanist of the 19th century whose carefully gathered plant and animal specimens eventually formed the basis for the systematic science of biology, I humbly—and with tongue only partially in cheek—offer the following field reports on a potential new species ... the NoogaYorker.

Two New York Actors in Chattanooga

D

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uring my first year in New York City, I visited Chattanooga several times to meet with clients and see family. It occurred to me that I might be considered a NoogaYorker, but that limited back and forth hardly seemed to justify the idea of a location-based hybrid identity.

When we needed a new apartment at the beginning of year two, idle fancy grew into a wild surmise. The apartment we found and sub-let was owned by a family that had moved from Manhattan to Chattanooga within two weeks of our migration in the opposite direction. We didn’t know each other until becoming landlord and tenant.

Kate Forbes and Stevie Ray Dallimore were accomplished professional actors in New York City. Kate grew up in Chattanooga, but had not lived here since leaving for college. In 2010, they founded the Muse of Fire project in Chattanooga, which teaches playwriting to middle school students and produces the resulting one-act plays with adult actors. They also teach acting classes at UTC, a new venture for Stevie Ray but familiar territory for Kate, who has taught acting at New York University, Fordham University, Lincoln Center and The Public Theater.

More interestingly for my NoogaYorker hypothesis, both continue to act in New York City and elsewhere using Chattanooga as a home base. Stevie Ray has had recent movie roles in “Joyful Noise” and “American Reunion” and has filmed scenes with Harrison Ford in the science-fiction film “Ender’s Game,” slated for a 2013 release. Kate played a major role in a regional theater production of “The Crucible” at the Hartford Stage. She actually had to turn down roles in two plays because of obligations in Chattanooga, including finishing up an audio book of Appalachian folktales that she has produced using a MakeWork grant. Kate has recorded over 150 audio books and has won national awards for her work.

The couple relishes their ability to bring their New York energy and ideas to Chattanooga and said they hope to be part of creating more professional theater opportunities here.

“This feels like a place that’s ripe for

creation, for making things happen,” said Stevie Ray. “We’ve been able to come and make things happen here. People are very excited about what we’re doing.”

The roster of former Chattanoogans in entertainment includes familiar names such as Samuel Jackson, Usher and Leslie Jordan, as well as others that don’t get as much ink in Chattanooga, like The Lady Bunny (birth name: Jon Ingle), one of the country’s best-known drag queens.

“It cannot be denied that this city has produced literary artists, visual artists, performing artists,” said Kate. “So there’s something going on here that’s right. It’s just that they have to leave here to make a living. Wouldn’t it be cool if there were a way for them to come back and work?”

ographies. The drink is always communal bowls of rum punch. Rum Sunday virgins pick the first round, and the second round is chosen by rock-paper-scissors. After every round, Grimm unbuttons one button.

Several times a night, a bathroom becomes a photo booth for as many people will fit.

The first Sunday of the month, the dress code is black tie.

The New York Pizza Dept. in Hixson

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Rum Sunday: 20-Something Chattanoogans in New York

S

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till, before professional entertainers can come back to Chattanooga, there’s just no other way to become a successful professional than to leave the city. It’s no surprise to find fledgling entertainers from Chattanooga trying to make it in New York. But the size of the Chattanooga expatriate community—including many holding dual citizenship in the New York theatre community—is astonishing.

Eric Grimm, a manic and flamboyant 2008 graduate of the Center for Creative Arts (CCA), counts at least 30 Chattanoogans in his own circle. Most are 20-something students and recent graduates working their way up in their fields, including my daughter Alexandra and her friend Su Hendricks, CCA alums who just graduated from New York University with acting degrees. Some already have significant early successes, like Trent Cresswell, a Sarah Lawrence student who last year had a staged reading of one of his plays at a professional theater.

The smaller 30-something cadre, with a few more years in the city, are even more accomplished: Canedy Knowles (daughter of two more NoogaYorkers, Rex Knowles and Sherry Landrum, who lead the Actor Training Program at Chattanooga State) is a working actor; Steven Malone is music director for the Broadway musical “Newsies;” Steven Rummer works in marketing for Dreamworks.

Grimm is a prolific organizer of social events, like the weekly Rum Sunday salon that meets at a walk-up rum bar in the East Village and the annual Memorial Day Fish & Grits party to introduce Yankee friends to the tradition of Southern hospitality.

Rum Sunday itself is very hospitable, with its own unique and quirky traditions.

Grimm introduces everyone and invents all the facts in their fully fictionalized bi-

a safe place for her children. Kurt’s father learned English as a teenager in New York pool halls, playing with champions like Fat Cat Willie Mosconi, who had a cameo in the 1961 film “The Hustler.” At 17, he started as a stock boy in the parts department of Manhattan’s Mercedes Benz dealership.

Fast forward a few decades and their father owns an auto parts wholesaler in Fort Lauderdale and is investing in his sons’ New York pizzeria in Chattanooga.

After just two months in business, the Cilen brothers are already launching expansion plans. The first restaurant will more than double in size this summer. They plan three more suburban locations and eventually a downtown flagship that will be not just a restaurant but also a “unique pizza experience.”

“Take Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and imagine pizza instead of chocolate,” said Kurt. “The kids will absolutely love it.”

NoogaYorker Field Research Gets Strange

M E

ven more than Rum Sunday draws Chattanoogans in New York, a new pizza joint in Hixson is becoming a magnet for New York transplants in Chattanooga. The New York Pizza Department opened its doors in March.

As in New York, the NYPD serves both slices and whole pies. The pizza is made entirely in house using family recipes from Uncle Sal’s pizzeria on Long Island and ingredients from New York suppliers. “We have everything except the water, which is 10 percent of the taste of New York pizza,” said Kurt Cilen, who came to Chattanooga in a sales position with PlayCore. His brother Eric relocated this year to help create the restaurant.

“Living here five years, I may have met three New Yorkers,” said Kurt. “Within the last two months of us being open, I think I’ve met 500 that I had no idea were actually here. They all come in to say, ‘I’m from New York, I’m going to tell you how good your pizza is.’

“The majority of people from the South look at New Yorkers as a bunch of tough guys, but in actuality, they’re really truly family people,” he added. “Ninety-five percent of the people I meet from New York are the most lovable, caring, family-oriented people I’ve ever met.”

The Cilen brothers’ grandmother came to New York from Turkey, via Russia and the Ukraine, fleeing war and looking for

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y NoogaYorker field research has taken some unusual turns. As the deadline for this article approached, I made an unexpected research trip to New York Pizza Department (two slices, very tasty). On the way, at a time of day when I would normally not be in my car listening to the radio, I heard an interview on WUTC-FM with Chris Grabenstein, a New Yorker who spent his teen years in Chattanooga, went to college at UT in Knoxville and returned to New York for good in 1979.

His best-known mystery series features John Ceepak and Danny Boyle, two cops solving murders in a kitschy Jersey Shore beach town.

(Think pastel police cruisers and lots of fried food.)

When I tracked Grabenstein down, he said, “My high school friends point out that all my rides [the Ceepak series titles come from amusement park rides, like Tilt A Whirl and Whack-A-Mole] are named after ones we used to go on in Lake Winnepesaukah when I was a kid. Not intentionally, but it seems like in my subconscious they are. We used to go there on school trips when I was in elementary school on Signal Mountain.”

Even more synchronicity/research showed up a few days later: The cover photo »P8

chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 7

vacation?

TAKE YOUR PET TO THE ARK

for this article was taken by Pulse photographer Lesha Patterson in New York City, not because The Pulse sent her on assignment, but because she just moved from Chattanooga to New York to pursue her dream. Yet another Pulse alumni, Jennifer Grelier, the paper’s former advertising designer, preceded her by nine months.

For those following in their footsteps, Patton recommends education and a preemptive strike. “If you’re considering taking the Big Leap, looking back we’re glad we’d visited first,” he said. “You need a plan and some connections. We also feel taking time to create a supportive environment for yourself in the city is supremely important. Read all you can, especially The New York Times, cover to cover, every day—and you can on the subway!”

Gone Native

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ome NoogaYorkers are more Yorker than Nooga, having long left Chattanooga behind for the Big Apple.

These Chattanoogans have become more or less natives in their adopted hometown of New York City, and rarely, if ever, reappear on the local scene save for a rare family reunion. Even then, they slip in and out of town quietly.

Like so many, these NoogaYorkers were drawn to the city for its renown as the arts capital of the world and are notable for both their achievements as well as their close relationships and concentrated migration. This small gaggle of Chattanooga actors, playwrights and entertainers include four top acting talents who graduated from Hixson High School in the early 1980s, studied theatre together at UT, and launched a dramatic group assault on New Yorker soon after.

Actor, director and playwright Anthony Patton, who is now director of operations for Ballet Hispanico in New York, still recalls the period with excitement.

Patton and his brother, Jon Marc, along with Don Stephenson and Patton’s future wife, Leigh, were all stars of Hixson High’s drama department who took their high school productions seriously.

“Graduating from Hixson High School culminated for us with a very special show in drama of Bernard Pomerance’s play, “The Elephant Man,” Patton recalled. “After graduation, Leigh and I joined some fellow Hixson alumni to study theatre at UT, where there was a professional theatre company. Along the way, Leigh and I fell in love there. After a brief trip up to New York City to secure an apartment, we came back to Trinity Lutheran Church in Hixson—where I attended and my mother, Janet Patton, had started a community theatre and we had many friends—got hitched, then loaded up the Volkswagen Dasher and, joined by my brother Jon Marc, headed up to the Big Apple to seek our fortunes.”

Almost right away, Leigh was cast in the lead role of a new play at the 13th Street Repertory in Greenwich Village.

That next year, a play Patton had written about racism, “Old Flames,” in which Leigh played one of the lead roles, got

8 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Leigh and Anthony Patton

picked up by a producer for a year-long Off-Broadway run. Jon Marc, who is a singer/songwriter, lent his music to the show. Stephenson and his then fiancé, Emily Loesser, whom he’d met in New York acting class, and another Hixson High drama alum, Theron T. Hudgins, had been a part of the very first workshop.

“An amazing first few years,” Patton recalled. “We were very fortunate.”

There were many other success, Patton said, but the demands of a new family led him into nonprofit arts administration and his wife, who is now a teacher, back to school. The couple have two daughters, Amanda, 12, and Charlotte, 8, whom he said are both “native New Yorkers with, we feel, some smiling, Southern grace abiding.” Because their families also migrated away from Chattanooga, they have less reason to return, but Patton said he keeps track of the happenings in town through friends and news reports.

Stephenson went on to higher visibility as an actor. A song-and-dance man, Stephenson’s goals were never vague—he was headed for Broadway. Since arriving in New York, he has been a cast member and star of a number of Broadway shows, including “Titanic” and “The Producers,” as well as appearing in Off-Broadway productions, touring and regional productions.

Stephenson’s resume also includes numerous film and TV credits. On the silver screen, he has appeared in such movies as “Little Brother” and “It Had To Be You.” On the small screen, he has appeared in soap operas (“Another World,” “All My Children”), the dramas “Law and Order” and “Now and Again,” as well as commercial work. Stephenson is married to Emily Loesser, daughter of famed Broadway composer Frank Loesser, perhaps best known for “Guys and Dolls.”

More Field Research is Needed

M

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y field observations seem to confirm the existence of a new type of hybrid identity in which individuals live in and fully identify with two distinct places. Increasing hybridization can be expected, although surely only a mad scientist would envision eventual replacement of all Chattanoogans and New Yorkers by hybrid NoogaYorkers.

Unfortunately, I believe all of these synchronicities I was obligated to report may reduce the possibility of scientific acceptance of the NoogaYorker hypothesis. Meaningful coincidences are, well ... meaningful and all, but so-called “science” has no use for them!

This lack of scientific acceptance comes at a particularly sensitive time, as hybrid populations in New York and Chattanooga show definite signs of growth, but follow no discernible patterns. I have also received unconfirmed reports of additional hybrids: ChicagoNoogans and NoogaLaskans. And as Volkswagen’s German employees return to the company’s headquarters in Wolfsburg after several years in Chattanooga, we can expect to see the appearance of Wolfsburger-NeueNoogans—or perhaps Chatta-burgers.

Only time will tell.

OK, I’m not sure I can call this stuff research, and I’m pretty sure it would be impossible for another researcher to duplicate in order to confirm my observations. The academic field of NoogaYorker studies is in its infancy, of course, and foundation grants will surely be difficult.

The only certainty is that further field research—especially in Germany—is urgently needed, although The Pulse seems reluctant to fund that particular trip. So I appeal directly to my research subjects: If you think you may be a NoogaYorker or any other bi-locational hybrid, send your story to me (seriously) at noogayorker@ gmail.com or post your story to Facebook. com/NoogaYorker.

—Additional reporting

by Bill Ramsey

LIST

THE CALENDAR

june 7-13

RIVERBEND FUTUREBIRDS

• Athens, Ga., country rockers with a psychedelic twist light up the first night of Riverbend.

The Pulse’s Cole Rose talks to Carter King of the band on Page 13.

FRI 06.08 • 6:15 p.m.

Bud Light Stage Riverbend riverbendfestival.com

» pulse PICKS

» pulse pick OF THE LITTER

THU06.07

Bessie Smith Strut F

MUSIC Grass Widow • Sonic pop blossoms with a hint of post-punk.

9 p.m. • Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd. • (423) 752-5224

EVENT Drawing Demonstration • Demo by naturalist artist Alia El Bermani.

5 p.m. • Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View • (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org

FRI06.08 MUSIC Futurebirds • See our interview on Page 13.

6:15 p.m. • Bud Light Stage Riverbend • riverbendfestival.com

EVENT “Drift” • A 90-minute production told mostly through music.

7:30 p.m. • Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 1918 Union Ave. • (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

SAT06.09 MUSIC Two Man Gentleman Band • At Riverbend tonight and then at The Honest Pint on Sunday.

10 p.m. • TVFCU Stage Riverbend. • riverbendfestival.com

EVENT Chattanooga Football Club • Home game vs. Myrtle Beach FC. 7 p.m. • Finley Stadium • 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041 • chattanoogafc.com

irst all but cancelled, then relocated to the Riverbend grounds, then reinstated in its original location on Martin Luther King Boulevard, the Bessie Smith Strut has suffered some bruises this year. But with some changes—most notably an admission fee—the Strut struts on.

On Monday, the sights and sounds of MLK will again be transformed into the legendary street fest.

“The Strut is one of Chattanooga’s longstanding pre-summer events that have particularly brought so much enjoyment not only to Chattanooga residents but also to visitors to the Scenic City,” said Rose Martin, executive director of the Bessie Smith Cultural Center, the organizer of this year’s event.

As noted in The Bowl (Page 4), the center, in partnership with the Friends of the Festival and the City of Chattanooga, have made several improvements to this year’s Strut which will ensure the sustainability and longevity of this 30-year tradition. The enhancements include enclosing the grounds of the street fest, enforcing a youth escort policy, imposing an admission price, and having both Chattanooga Police Department and

home game

SCHEDULE Thu, June 21 • 7:15 PM Ooltewah & Collegedale Night

vs. Pensacola

Fri, June 22 • 7:15 PM Fireworks! Hardee’s Baseball Card Giveaway

vs. Pensacola

Sat, June 23 • 7:15 PM Birdzerk! YMCA Youth T-Shirts Giveaway

Joe Louis Walker private security officers to secure the festival.

“We are confident that these enhancements will not compromise the integrity of the Strut,” said Martin. “Instead, they will improve levels of security and enhance the overall experience for all strutgoers.”

For $5 in advance (through June 9) or $10 at the gate (free if you have a Riverbend pin) the Strut features blues bands, barbecue, beer and access to a variety of nightclubs on MLK. Gates open at 4 p.m. Performing this year are Ike Stubblefield, Joe Louis Walker, Lionel Young Band and

Hadden Sayers.

Tickets are available for purchase online at bessiesmithstrut.eventbrite. com. Tickets can also be purchased at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center, Champy’s, Maggie G’s, Mary’s Lounge and Kangaroo Gas Stations.

For more information about the Strut and to purchase tickets, visit bessiesmithstrut.com.

vs. Pensacola

Sun, June 24 • 2:15 PM SunTrust Sunday

vs. Pensacola

Mon, June 25 • 7:15 PM

Fort Oglethorpe & Chickamauga Night Kids Eat Free

vs. Pensacola

Bessie Smith Strut 4 p.m.

Monday, June 11 $5 in advance $10 at gate Martin Luther King Boulevard bessiesmithstrut.com chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

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10 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Between the Sleeves record reviews • ernie paik before sisters maggie and terre roche formed the roches with third sister Suzzy, the duo released in 1975 the often overlooked Seductive Reasoning, providing uncommonly frank and feminine glimpses of the complications of sexuality. It’s temporally between the veiled post-deflowering uncertainty of The Shirelles’ 1960 track “Will You Love Me Tomorrow?” and the more candid, glossy stylizations from Madonna in the ’80s, but it shares more with the “shyly brave” approach of Liz Phair in the mid-’90s— direct, yet not without insecurities, plus second-wave feminist attitudes. Take for example the album’s closer, the brilliantly written and intensely moving “Jill of All Trades,” about a fiercely independent, conflicted, sexually-free itinerant professional, with the lines Maggie & Rerre “Runnin’ into luck south of the border/Why you wanna get stuck Roche with a needle and a kid?” showing the titular character rejecting Seductive motherhood and its traditions with a pre-Roe v. Wade Mexican Reasoning abortion.

(Real Gone The Roches’ touchstones are already present on Seductive ReaMusic/Sony) soning, like the sisters’ trademark vocal harmonizing and a pervasive slightly off-kilter and sly attitude alongside more earnest declarations. Three songs mention the moon, ostensibly as a romantic symbol, but it’s more a representation of hormonal lunacy and irrationality. Musically, the Roche sisters occasionally saunter into string-enhanced piano balladry and approach Carole King-type singer/songwriter territory, but mostly they lean toward folk and country influences, employing the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section for half of the album and even the Oak Ridge Boys and Paul Simon on one number. Ironically, these songs belie their traditional and homespun sources with a more enlightened perspective, epitomized in the song “The Mountain People” with the line “I’m accepted to a school in the mountains/ But I fail the mountain people.”

This recent reissue of Seductive Reasoning, which has been out of print for years, sounds great, but fans should note that it contains few enhancements (Maggie Roche’s song-by-song notes are disappointingly scant). Still, it’s a welcome reissue of a neglected album, showcasing the underrated songwriting talents of Maggie Roche. in the liner notes of his new solo album, pickelhaube, swedish contrabass improviser Joel Grip writes, “In these times, most shallow behaviors are presented as if the deepest of engagements and beliefs. We are dressed up in a fictional all-in-one hat, the helmet and the warhead: Die Pickelhaube.” Roughly translated, “Pickelhaube” means “Pimple helmet,” which seems to provide more absurdity than clarity to the title. With some vague political underpinnings, what Grip apparently is trying to express is the need to sometimes step away from ourselves and have an open mind, free to look at things under the surface.

Grip’s mind is not only open, but also figuratively split open, with Pickelhaube being a musical brain dump—a glorious, spilling Joel Grip mess of emotions and ideas, conveyed abstractly. Solo-free improv, Pickelhaube such as that heard on the album, is arguably the most unfettered, (Umlaut) personal and direct kind of musical expression. On Pickelhaube, available on vinyl and as a digital download, Grip doesn’t create a showcase of extended techniques but instead goes with pure spontaneous feeling; the uninitiated may often find free improv, without conventional structures or scales, to be the hardest kind of music to understand, but actually, there is nothing that needs to be understood.

On the album’s opener, Grip harshly grinds the strings with his bow, creating unsettling, violent rattles and sounding as if he were grappling with his bass in a street fight before winding down, exhausted. It’s followed by an atonal piece with harmonics, utilizing a non-industrial repetition that evokes a sort of shambling, squeaky playground ride. The lengthy third number, with a translated title of “Swedish Missile Plant Conscience,” uses a flurry of plucked notes with no effort taken to hide Grip’s conspicuously audible heavy breathing, suggesting an intense workout that’s disciplined and yet free.

Like the rest of the album, a difficult, adventurous, and intriguing listen, it’s like a direct line to Grip’s circulatory and respiratory systems, translated into sound.

Party at the richard winham

Riverbend: Less Glitz, More Grit with both bonnaroo and riverbend beginning this weekend, the choice for many music fans is laughably clear. The glittering Bonaroo line-up—featuring Radiohead, The Beach Boys together with Brian Wilson for the first time in a generation, as well as Skrillex and dozens of other marquee names—makes spending a long, sweltering weekend in a muggy field in Manchester an attractive proposition. But what Riverbend’s roster may lack in glitz, it makes up for in grit.

Much of the criticism of the nine-day Riverbend festival, which celebrates its 30th anniversary this year, centers on the Coke stage. This is hardly surprising since much of the festival’s money is spent there, this year to attract the likes of Lauren Alaina, Eric Church, Foreigner and the Happy Together Tour, a lineup that includes Top 40 hitmakers from the 1960s including Flo and Eddie, The Grass Roots, and Mickey Dolenz.

Many people will find at least one of these main-stage acts reason enough to sit in the sun for three or four hours to stake out a spot in front of the stage. And when Charlie Wilson, The Gap Band’s clarion-voiced lead singer on “Humpin,’” “Burn Rubber On Me,” and “You Dropped a Bomb On Me,” hits the big stage on Thursday evening, even skeptics may be tempted to brave the crush to catch at least some of his set.

While the Coke stage gets much of the attention, the action is often on the periphery, far from the shuffling mob on the midway. Take opening night, Friday, June 8, when Four Shillings Short (pictured at right), one of the more interesting acts of the entire festival, will play the TVFCU stage under the Walnut Street Bridge. A duo from California, Four Shillings Short consists of Dublin-born Aodh Og

Unexpected treats await those who take time to find them.

O’Tuama, who not only sings in both English and Gaelic with his partner, Christy Martin, but plays Medieval and Renaissance woodwinds, tin whistles, recorders, bowed psaltery, dumbek and spoons.

Martin, who grew up in San Francisco in a family of musicians and dancers, began

studying the sitar at age 16.

She has since mastered the hammered dulcimer, mandolin, mandola, bouzouki, banjo, guitar, charango, bowed psaltery, bodhran and bones. One Irish critic referred to the result as “sweet ear candy for those seeking a fresh and inventive look at traditional music.”

At 8 p.m. on Saturday, June 9, on the Unum stage, Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen will play their rousing Bakersfield-inspired boogie, which sounds like Ernest Tubb or Buck Owens fronting Asleep At the Wheel.

Meanwhile, at 7:30 p.m. on the TVCFU stage, the redoubtable Kaki King will be reinventing the guitar. Prickly and forthright in conversation, she is equally confrontational when performing. Hammering on the strings and the body of the guitar, she creates a powerfully propulsive thrust that alternates Les Paul melodicism with rapid-fire Leo Kottkelike runs in a breathless rush of notes that stop as abruptly as they start. King will no doubt delight the guitar fanatics in the crowd.

On Sunday, June 10, two veteran acts that couldn’t be more different will bookend the evening. Gov’t Mule will play an early set (6:45 p.m.) on the Bud Light stage. Originally a trio, the band is now a quartet led by guitarist Warren Haynes, with long-time drummer Matt Abts, bassist Jorgen Carlsson, and Danny Louis playing keyboards, guitar, and occasionally, trumpet. The band mixes the earthy drive of the early Allman Brothers with Cream-style psychedelia and ZZ Top’s rolling, deep-bass boogie. For a sample, listen to “Broke Down On The Brazos,”

a track (available on the band’s website) from its new album,

By A Thread. Like many Allman Brothers tunes, it begins as a simple, straight-ahead shuffle, its steady pace set by Carlsson’s growling bassline.

But after a couple of verses they double the time, and everyone digs in on an airy, highflying, two-guitar jam with ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and Haynes pushing each other higher with each chorus. Listeners may at first be fooled into thinking they’ve heard it all before, but as Haynes put it recently, the band is “moving backward and forward at the same time.” They are aware of their debt to fans and the musicians who inspired them, but they are a band, said Haynes, “that doesn’t want to stay in one place too long.”

Later on Sunday (at 9:30 p.m.), The Rebirth Brass Band, which has been revitalizing the New Orleans marching-band tradition for close to 30 years, will be up on the Unum stage. Mixing Metersstyle funk and marching-band bounce, the Frazier Brothers—consisting of Phil blowing tuba and his brother Keith kicking the big bass drum— lead the band in heady, freewheeling, improvised shuffles that mash Fats Domino and fatback in a rolling mélange of New Orleans’ storied musical history.

Riverbend’s not Bonnaroo.

But on almost every night of the festival unexpected treats await those willing to take the time to find them.

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

All Week Long!

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Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays

Jonathan Wimpee Jam Session thursdays LOCAL LEGENDS

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chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

Music

CHATTANOOGA LIVE

Thu 06.07

Wednesday • June 6

Ryan Oyer Amber Fults and the Ambivalent Lovers

Thursday • June 7 Crass Mammoth

Friday • June 8

Leaving Miss Blue Ashley and the X’s • Rick Rushing

Saturday • June 9

Unspoken Triumph • Red Necklace

Sunday • June 10 Soul Mechanic

Monday • June 11

Bessie Smith Strut:Vinyl Soul DJs

Tuesday • June 12

My Name Is John Micheal

Wednesday • June 13 Via Lotus • Velvet Hand

Thursday • June 14

Ugly Radio Rebellion (Zappa music)

LIVE MUSIC CHATTANOOGA JUNE

CHANNING WILSON with PATRICK DAVIS

LETICIA WOLF

Singer/Songwriter, Rock ‘n’ Roll Queen

MILELE ROOTS with ROOTS RADICS

SLIPPERY WHEN WET A Bon Jovi Tribute

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WED. 9:30p

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Grass Widow, Big Kitty, Future Virgins 9 p.m. Sluggo’s North, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224 JK and the Lost Boys 9:00 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com.

Leticia Wolf 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Crass Mammoth 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

fri 06.08 Acoustic Mayhem & Fox Mountain Express 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com David Roth 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960 christunity.org/events Elton Hendrix 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Public Outcry 9 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloon andbistro.com Southlander 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com.

Stereotype 10 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Milele Roots with Roots Radics 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Code Blue Band 10 p.m. SkyZoo,

12 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com One Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Leaving Miss Blue, Ashley and the X’s, Rick Rushing 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

sat 06.09 Unspoken Triumph, Red Necklace 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Long Gone Darlings 7 p.m. Ringgold Opry, 155 Depot St. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-3061 MANIFEST, My Politic, Amber Fults 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Elton Hendrix 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Wendell & Robbie 9 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloon andbistro.com Power Players Show Band 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Stereotype 10 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Slipper When Wet: A Bon Jovi Tribute 10:00 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Code Blue Band 10 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com.

STRUT STUFF

Monday, June 11

• This one-day event is a collaboration between Riverbend Festival and the Bessie Smith Cultural Center and features blues bands, barbecue, beer and access to a variety of nightclubs on Martin Luther King Boulevard. Gates open at 4 p.m. Performing this year are Ike Stubblefield, Joe Louis Walker, Lionel Young Band and Hadden Sayers.

Admission is $5 in advance (up until June 9), $10 the day of festival and free with a 2012 Riverbend pin. Tickets are available for purchase online at bessiesmithstrut. eventbrite.com. Tickets can also be purchased at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center, Champy’s, Maggie G’s, Mary’s Lounge and Kangaroo Gas Stations.

One Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

sun 06.10 Soul Mechanic, The Suex Effect 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Two Man Gentlemen Band with The Snake Doctors 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

mon 06.11 Vinyl Soul DJs 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Ben Friberg Trio 4 p.m. O’Heiney’s, 825 Houston St. (423) 702-5687 Underwood 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St.

(423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers, Kristin Diable and the City 8:30 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com.

Dawes 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co.

tue 06.12 My Name is John Michael 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Lon Eldridge 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Act of Congress 7 p.m. Mountain Arts Community Center, 809 Kentucky Ave., Signal Mtn., (423) 866-1959

wed 06.13 Melanie Lyon 7:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com.

Via Lotus, Velvet Hand 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Queen B & The Well Strung Band 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com Cliff Beach 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Riverbend

AROUND THE BEND

fri 06.08

if you can gauge a band’s merit by the company they keep, Futurebirds has already made it. Having shared the stage with such acts as Drive-By Truckers, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals and Widespread Panic, Futurebirds represents the Athens, Ga., tradition proudly. They have parlayed that success into a summer that has already featured dates at SXSW and the Hangout Festival and now they’re rolling onto the Bud Light Stage at 6:15 p.m. on Friday, June 8, the opening night of Riverbend.

Guitarist/vocalist/multi-instrumentalist Carter King was kind enough to answer some questions for The Pulse about the band’s favorite moments in Chattanooga, touring with influences and what makes great facial hair.

The Pulse: First of all, what has this summer been like for you guys? Where have you been, what has it been like playing for festival crowds?

CK: Summer has been amazing so far.

Festival season is the best. Big crowds. Big sound systems. Everyone’s full of vitamin D. The perfect storm.

You guys have been coming to Chattanooga for a while now, from when you were touring with Dexateens and playing JJ’s Bohemia. What’s it like to move up from smaller venues to the Riverbend audience?

It’s great. We love Chattanooga. I have to say that show with the Dexateens was my favorite. They blew the doors off JJ’s in front of a crowd of 12 people. Elliott was up on top of the bar, marching up and down, singing “Dixieland Delight.” Then they got in a fight ... with each other. Best band ever.

Seriously. If you can’t give 12 people something to go home with, what are you gonna do with 10,000? Track 29 is a great place, too.

How has being from this part of the country and specifically Athens shaped what you do? How different would your sound be if you were from say, New Jersey?

The only parts of New Jersey we’ve really seen are the turnpike and the Empress Hotel. So, I’d have to say our music would suck if we were from New Jersey. I hear the shore is quaint and lovely though.

As a band that features some pretty prominent beards, what are the three most influential examples of facial hair in recent American history?

Three most influential facial hair-styles in recent history: 1. Walker Howle 2. Kurt Russel as Wyatt Earp. 3. Prince If you had to end every one of your shows with a cover song, what would it be?

Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places.”

—Cole Rose

Futurebirds

Bud Light Stage Chasi Lynn & Country Wild • 5 p.m.

Futurebirds • 6:15 p.m.

Cody McCarver • 7:45 p.m.

Unum Stage

Chattanooga Symphony Big Band • 6: 30 p.m.

Avery Sunshine • 9:30 p.m.

Volkswagen Stage

Buckner Brothers • 6 p.m.

Bartlee Norton & 64 Highway • 7:30 p.m.

The Dirty South • 11 p.m.

Futurebirds Tour • 9:30 p.m.

TVFCU Stage

tue 06.12

Zach Laliberte • 6:15 p.m.

Four Shillings Short • 7:45 p.m.

Cutthroat Shamrock • 9:15 p.m.

Bud Light Stage Burning Alter • 5 p.m.

Mercy Call • 6:30 p.m.

The Museum • 7:45 p.m.

Meo Mio Stage

Volkswagen Stage

Remembering January • 7:30 p.m.

Lil’ Malcom Houserockers • 9:30 p.m.

Coke Stage

Eric Church • 9:30 p.m.

SAT 06.09 Bud Light Stage Machines Are People Too • 5 p.m.

Trampled Under Foot • 6:15 p.m.

Pop Evil • 7:45 p.m.

Unum Stage

Bluegrass Pharaohs • 6: 30 p.m.

Commander Cody • 8 p.m.

Sol Driven Train • 9:30 p.m.

Volkswagen Stage Prime Cut Trio • 6 p.m.

Chatt All Stars • 7:30 p.m.

Chatt All Stars Encore • 11 p.m.

TVFCU Stage

Joe the Show • 6:15 p.m.

Kaki King • 7:30 p.m.

Two Man Gentleman Band • 10 p.m.

Meo Mio Stage

Stratoblasters • 7:30 p.m.

Nick Moss Band • 9:30 p.m.

Coke Stage

As Isaac • 5 p.m.

Ryan Wynne • 6 p.m.

Co-Love • 7:30 p.m.

Coke Stage Kaki King Foreigner • 9:30 p.m.

Chris Tomlin • 9:30 p.m.

wed 06.13 Bud Light Stage

Hadden Sayers • 5 p.m.

Gov’t Mule • 6:45 p.m.

Smooth Dialects • 5 p.m.

The Kymera Project • 6:15 p.m.

Here Come the Mummies • 7:45 p.m.

The Malemen Band • 6: 30 p.m.

Joe Louis Walker • 8 p.m.

Rebirth Brass Band • 9:30 p.m.

Bluetastic Fangrass • 6: 30 p.m.

Uncle Lucius • 8 p.m.

Royal Southern Brotherhood • 9:30 p.m.

Priscilla & Little Rickee • 6 p.m.

Blues Hammer Band • 7:30 p.m.

The Micks • 6 p.m.

Danger Kitty • 7:30 p.m.

sun 06.10 Bud Light Stage Unum Stage

Volkswagen Stage

TVFCU Stage

Jerry Fordham • 6:15 p.m.

The Waymores • 7:30 p.m.

Lionel Young Band • 9:45 p.m.

Meo Mio Stage

Meo Mio Singers/ Songerwiters • 7:30 p.m.

Cast Iron Filter • 9:30 p.m.

Coke Stage

Happy Together

Unum Stage

Volkswagen Stage TVFCU Stage

Tim Lewis • 6:15 p.m.

Peter Rowan/Mosier Brothers • 7:45 p.m.

Gasoline Brothers • 9:15 p.m.

Meo Mio Stage WTM Blues Band • 7:30 p.m.

Mingo Fishtrap • 9:30 p.m.

Coke Stage

The Band Perry • 9:30 p.m.

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, June 7: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, June 8: 9pm Hap Henninger

Saturday, June 9: 9pm Jon Kirkendoll

Tuesday, June 12: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

Nightly Specials Mondays 50¢ Wings $3 Yazoo

Tuesdays $1 Tacos 1/2 Price Margaritas

Wednesdays Wine Night + Live Jazz!

Thursdays Burger & Beer Night

Saturdays $2 Domestics Now Open from Noon to Midnight 850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Arts

books

Hetzler: Riverbend Not What It Could Be

By Rich Bailey

for the last few years one of riverbend’s founders, Sid Hetzler, has been nibbling at the edges of that Chattanooga institution, publicly disputing the festival’s own chronology of its beginnings, which now seems to have been adjusted to conform to his account of its creation. With the publication of his book, “Two Town Festivals: Signs of a Theater of Power,” Hetzler is taking a bigger bite. Whether he’s latched onto an ankle or the jugular probably depends on where you stand on Riverbend.

The first part of the book is Hetzler’s 1990 doctoral dissertation comparing Riverbend and Charleston’s Spoleto USA, which was one of the models for Riverbend. When Riverbend was a gleam in the eyes of Hetzler and a few like minded activists, it was intended to be like Spoleto: a festival celebrating all the arts—both fine arts and popular, from classical to experimental, and including visual and other performing arts.

The baby that eventually emerged from the delivery room— midwifed by funding restrictions from the Lyndhurst Foundation and its consultant Gianni Longo—was something else entirely.

It was primarily a popular music festival, and over the years, vestiges of the other arts like chamber music gradually disappeared.

Sid Hetzler, one of Riverbend’s founders, says the festival has become a black hole that sucks up energy.

The core of Hetzler’s book analyzes and compares Riverbend and Spoleto through the lens of semiotics. His analysis isn’t kind to Riverbend, but it’s primarily focused on understanding how festivals work. Later sections bring the story up to date with further developments in Riverbend, including this year’s near death of the Bessie Smith Strut, whose openness he says was the last vestige of the intended festival. It also

14 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

tells Hetzler’s own fascinating post-Riverbend story in which he became an impresario of participatory festivals at his Split Tree Farm.

Riverbend and Spoleto illustrate Hetzler’s key idea that “differences embrace sameness; sameness rejects difference.”

“Charleston represented in Spoleto an idea of differences.

Riverbend started that way but then turned into a very narrow set of programs. And then that narrowness, that sameness, rejected anything that didn’t fit it. It wasn’t a big tent, it was a little tent.”

He argues that festivals provide

a model for accepting differences and diversity in life, with festivalgoers learning to tolerate as normal the narrow or wide range of diversity presented within a festival’s time and space.

“A festival is a context. The people who put on a festival, whether they’re aware of it or not, are creating a context for things, a framing, a theater. What kind of context is Riverbend? It’s in the

Sid Hetzler dances with Angela Amarillas, teaching partner of Richard Powers of Stanford University, at an October 2008 Halloween Waltz Weekend at Pocono Manor Inn in Pennsylvania.

middle of a beautiful city. How much does it connect with its environment? It rejects it. It fences itself off.”

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Spoleto celebrates a much wider variety of arts and styles, and its events are located throughout downtown Charleston, with attendees walking between venues and spending money in local restaurants and shops along the way.

That festival tells a story about living in a city—or simply being alive—and it’s a story of differences. By presenting a narrow range of music and establishing a homogenous festival grounds in the midst of a vibrant downtown Riverbend tells a story of sameness.

Why does this matter? Because, Hetzler says (paraphrasing Winston Churchill), “We shape our festivals; thereafter our festivals shape us.” Sameness is not only boring but dangerous, because it suggests that the world is only what we already know, with no room for discovery, for new ideas or for people that are not like us.

“I hope there will be some more consciousness about sameness. What is its danger? What does it look like? What masks does it wear? Is Riverbend diverse or is it narrow?”

Beyond the analytical thinking and the concern over historical accuracy, Hetzler seems to feel about Riverbend’s path not taken almost like an amputee feels a missing limb. If Chattanooga had done what Charleston did with Spoleto, how much further along the path of economic and cultural renewal might we have traveled by now?

For Riverbend’s partisans, surely it doesn’t matter what the original idea was or what’s being played out now in a “theater of power,” whatever that is.

But the question of whether Riverbend is good for Chattanooga—not whether it used to be—is hard for thoughtful people to ignore.

“I think Riverbend is no longer a positive model of festival. What Riverbend does is almost unheard of in any city. It’s a black hole that sucks up energy and keeps people away from downtown.”

It’s fascinating that in 2012, a year of continuing economic difficulties for the arts, two new festivals do exactly what Hetzler suggests. HATCH in April and the New Dischord Festival (coming up on June 14-17) put a variety of exhibits, performances and participatory events in venues all over downtown. Also during Riverbend the Chattanooga Writers Guild is presenting three performing authors at the Public Library on Tuesday, June 12.

Could this be the slow, grassroots birth of a Fringe Festival during Riverbend?

“Two Town Festivals: Signs of a Theater of Power” is available in Chattanooga at Winder Binder or from Amazon. chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

Arts & Entertainment Thu 06.07 Racquets on the Riverwalk 8:30 a.m. Riverwalk, 100 Douglas St. (423) 266-6767 ext 302 mankerpatten.org Five for Five Thursdays in the Foundry 5 p.m. Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 266-5000 chattanooganhotel.com Drawing Demonstration with Alia El Bermani 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Open Mic 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Live Trivia 7:30 p.m. T-Bone’s Sports Café, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 chattanoogatrivia.com Live Trivia 7:30 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423)867-1351 chattanoogatrivia.com

fri 06.08 Racquets on the Riverwalk 8:30 a.m. Riverwalk, 100 Douglas St. (423) 266-6767 ext 302 mankerpatten.org Fresh on Fridays 11 a.m. River City Company, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com “Ready2WorkIt” Job Readiness Program 1 p.m. East Lake Community Center, 2600 4th Ave. (423) 752-4851 Four Shillings Short 2 p.m. The Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattanoogawritersguild.org Ballroom Dance 7:30 p.m. Allemande Hall, 7400 Standifer Gap Road (423) 499-5738

16 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

CALENDAR

chattanoogadanceinc.org “Drift” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatre ofchattanooga.com Bluegrass Night 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Matt Mitchell 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Alex Ortiz 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Late Night Hoops!

10 p.m. Howard High School, 2500 S. Market St. (423) 643-6055 chattanoogahasfun.com

sat 06.09 L2 Boards Riverbend Adventure Challenge 8 a.m. 100 Market St. (423) 531-7873 chattanoogafun.com Racquets on the Riverwalk 8:30 a.m. Riverwalk, 100 Douglas St. (423) 266-6767 ext 302 mankerpatten.org Stand Up Paddleboarding Yoga 8:30 a.m.

Tennessee River Gardens, 22573 Highway 41 (423) 821-7341 tnaqua.org NPC Battle at the River 2012 9 a.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanoogaonstage.com River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Doubles

Badminton Tournament 11 a.m. Brainerd Community Center, 1010 N. Moore Road (423) 425-3600 facebook.com/ chattanooga.parks. recreation Jack’s Chattanoggins 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 266-4041 jackshaves.org Splash into Spring Paddlesports Festival 11 a.m. TVA Chickamauga Reservation (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Summer Music Weekends Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Scenic City Mini Golf Adoption Fundraiser 1 p.m. Scenic City Mini Golf, 21 E. 7th St. (423) 402-8174 ashandabkennedy.webs.com CSM’s Kickoff Cookoff 1:30 p.m. Highland Park Commons, 1714 Duncan Ave. chattanoogahasfun.com Chattanooga FC vs.

Myrtle Beach FC 7 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041 chattanoogafc.com Matt Mitchell 7:30 & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Late Night Hoops!

10 p.m. Howard High School, 2500 S. Market St. (423) 643-6055 chattanoogahasfun.com Alex Ortiz 10:30 p.m.

Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sun 06.10

Racquets on the Riverwalk 8:30 a.m. Riverwalk, 100 Douglas St. (423) 266-6767 ext 302 mankerpatten.org Chattanooga Market: Chattanoggins 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Summer Music Weekends Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com “Drift” 2:30 & 6:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatre ofchattanooga.com

mon 06.11 “Ready2WorkIt” Job Readiness Program 1 p.m. East Lake Community Center, 2600 4th Ave. (423) 752-4851 Bessie Smith Strut 4 p.m. MLK Blvd., (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

tue 06.12 Tuesdays at Tony’s 11 a.m. Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria, 212 High St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Songs & Stories 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081

thecamphouse.com Three Performance Authors: Chattanooga Writers’ Guild Meeting 7 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattanooga writersguild.org Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. Brewhaus, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 chattanoogatrivia.com Mouth of the South Stand-Up Comic Contest 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

wed 06.13 Art Z Tots 10 a.m. Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100 planetaltered.com Art Crusaders 11:30 a.m. Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100 planetaltered.com Main Street Farmer’s Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Jewish Film Series: “Anita” 7 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com.

Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

POV Summer Film Series

T

he Chattanooga Film Society and the Mise En Scenesters are joining forces to present the POV Summer Film Series, which begins on Monday, June 11, with one screening per month through September. The award-winning documentary films reveal unforgettable storytelling that puts a human face on contemporary social issues.

“My background as a programmer with Nashville’s Documentary Channel gives me a bit of a spider sense when it comes to great documentary films, and each of the four films we’ve chosen for this series gives me that familiar tingle I associate with the very best docs,” said Chris Dortch, who is programming the series.

The first film in the series, “Guilty Pleasures,” will be shown at 6:30 p.m. on Monday at the downtown Chattanooga YMCA, 301 W. 6th St. The film takes an amusing and touching look at the global phenomenon that every four seconds a romance novel published by Harlequin or its British counterpart, Mills & Boon, is sold somewhere in the world. Ironies abound in the contrasts between the everyday lives of the books’ readers and the fantasy worlds that offer them escape. “Guilty Pleasures” portrays five romance devotees who must, ultimately, find their dreams in the real world. Admission to the screening is free to anyone.

Other films in the series include: • “I’m Carolyn Parker: The Good, the Mad, and the Beautiful” on July 16.

• “Reel Old School” on Aug. 13.

• “Reportero” on Sept. 10.

The Chattanooga Film Society is a nonprofit organization that supports independent filmmaking locally and promotes professional film and television production across the region. It is currently working on the launch of a major film festival in downtown Chattanooga. For more information on becoming a member or sponsor of CFS, visit chattanoogafilmsociety.org .

Mise en Scenesters is a Chattanooga-based film club with the goal of providing more opportunities for people to see great films that aren’t likely to ever play in a multiplex near them. For more information, visit porkandmeadmag.com/film.

—Staff

chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

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18 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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ARTS STATE OF THE

COMING 08.23.12

KEEP CALM AND

MAKE ART Since 2003

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Free Will Astrology GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The pain you will feel in the coming week will be in direct proportion to the love you suppress and withhold. So if you let your love flow as freely as a mountain spring in a rainstorm, you may not have to deal with any pain at all. What’s that you say? You claim that being strategic about how you express your affection gives you strength and protection? Maybe that’s true on other occasions, but it’s not applicable now. “Unconditional” and “uninhibited” are your words of power.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): What actions best embody the virtue of courage? Fighting on the battlefield as a soldier? Speaking out against corruption and injustice? Certainly all those qualify. But French architect Fernand Pouillon had another perspective.

He said, “Courage lies in being oneself, in showing complete independence, in loving what one loves, in discovering the deep roots of one’s feelings.” That’s exactly the nature of the bravery you are best able to draw on right now, Cancerian. So please do draw on it in abundance.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his book

“The Four Insights,” author Alberto Villoldo tells the following story: “A traveler comes across two stonecutters. He asks the first, ‘What are you doing?’ and receives the reply, ‘Squaring the stone.’

He then walks over to the second stonecutter and asks, ‘What are you doing?’ and receives the reply, ‘I am building a cathedral.’ In other words, both men are performing the same task, but one of them is aware that he has the choice to be part of a greater dream.” Leo, it’s quite important for you to be like that second stonecutter in the months ahead. I suggest you start now to ensure that outcome.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Harpo Marx was part of the famous Marx Brothers comedy team that made 13 movies. While in his character’s persona, he never spoke, but only communicated through pantomime and by whistling, blowing a horn, or playing the harp. In real life, he could talk just fine. He traced the origin of his shtick to an early theatrical performance he had done. A review of the show said that he “performed beautiful pantomime which was ruined whenever he spoke.” In other words, Harpo’s succes was shaped in part by the inspiration he drew from a critic. I invite you to make a similar move: Capitalize on some negative feedback or odd 20 • The Pulse • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

mirroring you’ve received.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): What is your relationship with cosmic jokes, Libra? Do you feel offended by the secrets they spill and the ignorance they expose and the slightly embarrassing truths they compel you to acknowledge? Or are you a vivacious lover of life who welcomes the way cosmic jokes expand your mind and help you lose your excessive self-importance and show you possible solutions you haven’t previously imagined? I hope you’re in the latter category, because sometime in the near future, fate has arranged for you to be in the vicinity of a divine comedy routine. I’m not kidding when I tell you that the harder and more frequently you laugh, the more you’ll learn.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In addition to being an accomplished astrophysicist and philosopher, Arthur Eddington possessed mad math skills. Legend has it that he was one of only three people on the planet who actually comprehended Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. That’s a small level of appreciation for such an important set of ideas, isn’t it? On the other hand, most people I know would be happy if there were as many as three humans in the world who truly understood them. I suggest you make that one of your projects in the next 12 months: to do whatever you can to ensure there are at least three people who have a detailed comprehension of and appreciation for who you really are.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Yesterday the sun was shining at the same time it was raining, and my mind turned to you. Today I felt a surge of tenderness for a friend who has been making me angry, and again I thought of you. Again, my mind turned to you. Why? Because you’ve been experimenting with the magic of contradictions lately. I’m even tempted to speculate that you’ve been increasing your ability to abide with paradox.

Keep up the good work.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Be on the alert for valuable mistakes you could capitalize on.

Accidental revelations could spark good ideas. Garbled communication might show you the way to desirable detours. Chance meetings might initiate conversations that will last a long time. Are you catching my drift? Follow any lead that seems witchy or itchy. Be ready to muscle your way in through doors that are suddenly open just a crack.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

An article in the Weekly World News reported on tourists who toast marshmallows while sitting on the rims of active volcanoes.

As fun as this practice might be, however, it can expose those who do it to molten lava, suffocating ash, and showers of burning rocks. So I wouldn’t recommend it to you, Aquarius. But I do encourage you to try some equally boisterous but less hazardous adventures. The coming months will be prime time for you to get highly imaginative in your approach to exploration, amusement, and pushing beyond your previous limits. Why not get started now?

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20): According to my reading of the astrological omens, you would be smart to get yourself a new fertility symbol. Not because I think you should encourage or seek out a literal pregnancy. Rather, I’d like to see you cultivate a more aggressively playful relationship with your creativity—energize it on deep unconscious levels so it will spill out into your daily routine and tincture everything you do.

If you suspect my proposal has some merit, be on the lookout for a talisman, totem, or toy that fecundates your imagination.

ARIES

(March 21-April 19): If your destiny has gotten tweaked by bias or injustice, it’s a good time to rebel. If you are being manipulated by people who care for you, you now have the insight and power necessary to wriggle free of the bind. If you have been confused by the mixed messages you’re getting from your own unconscious mind, you should get to the bottom of the inner contradiction. And if you have been wavering in your commitment to your oaths, you’d better be intensely honest with yourself about why that’s happening.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Diamonds are symbols of elegant beauty, which is why they’re often used in jewelry. But because they’re so hard and have such high thermal conductivity, they are also used extensively as cutting, grinding and polishing tools.

Now let’s apply this 20/80 proportion to you, Taurus. Of your talents and abilities, no more than 20 percent need be on display. The rest is consumed in the diligent detail work that goes on in the background to make yourself as valuable as a diamond. In the coming week, this will be a good meditation for you.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“Pretty Cheesy”—but not quite the same.

Across

1. Crawls, for example 6. Wrapped item 10. Mac 13. Words said while smacking your forehead 14. Namesakes of a Gilbert and Sullivan princess 15. Former Israeli prime minister Olmert 17. Prank where you pour seasoning over the captain of the football team?

19. Review on Yelp, e.g.

20. “___ the DJ, I’m the Rapper” (1988 album) 21. “There’s ___ in the bottom of the sea” 22. Jean-Pierre Rampal’s instrument 23. ___-ball (arcade rolling game) 24. Danced ungracefully 26. Rodin work 29. Update the decor 30. Get ready for a bodybuilding competition 31. Area where everything feels like a Utah city?

36. Mass ___ (Boston thoroughfare, to locals) 37. Historic French town (anagram of LUCY N.) 38. Icelandic band Sigur ___ 39. Rampart for rebels?

42. Typeface units 44. Food for pigs 45. Letter-shaped house 46. Jeer toward a play’s villain 49. Arduous journey 50. History Channel show that follows loggers in the Pacific Northwest 51. Condescend 53. Org. that fined over a “wardrobe malfunction” 56. Construction beam 57. Emile’s lesser known author brother?

59. Seaweed, in sushi bars 60. It’s under a toddler’s Band-Aid 61. Like actor Michael Emerson of “Lost,” by birth 62. Ashy 63. Cash register section 64. Former Israeli

prime minister Meir

Down

1. Jr., last year 2. “This is fun!”

3. Little devils 4. Treasure hunt need 5. Get closer, really quietly 6. “And knowing is half the battle” cartoon 7. Show for Lopez and Tyler, for short 8. Order from a mug shot photographer 9. “For shame!” noise 10. “The Aristocats” kitten, or his composer namesake Hector 11. Company with orange and white vans 12. Montana city 16. Monopoly card 18. Taekwondo great Jhoon ___ 22. Sorrowful Portuguese folk music 23. Disco ___ (“The Simpsons” character) 25. Eugene of “American Reunion” 26. Fly with the eagles 27. Record for later

28. “Break ___!”

31. Falls into a chair haphazardly 32. Play that introduced the term “robot” 33. Aquatic killer 34. Linguist Chomsky 35. In ___ (at heart) 37. Business execs in charge of the numbers 40. Welcome, like the new year 41. Tiger’s ex 42. German coin, before adopting the euro 43. Bug 45. Jason’s ship 46. ___ Capital (company founded

by Mitt Romney) 47. Extreme curve in a river 48. Actress Kate of “Dynasty” 49. They’re influenced by the moon 52. Ohio’s Great Lake 53. Poultry 54. Decked out (in) 55. Jesus’s waterinto-wine city 57. Slimy stuff 58. Chaotic situation

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0575. chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

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i just read probably the most disturbing story i’ve ever seen in the Times Free Press. It wasn’t about a horrific crime or unfortunate situation affecting our community. No, this was a bona fide “news” story covering the clandestine arrival of Harrison Ford to whichever hotel was boarding him for his brief business trip to the Noog.

The story, as printed, included the details of Harrison Ford walking into a hotel—carrying some of his own luggage mind you—and heading straight for the elevator bank. The article went on to report the actor “declined comment along the way, not wanting to publicize his stay at the hotel.”

So what does the TFP do?

Publicized his stay at the hotel. Regardless of the actor’s privacy, this was news that needed to be reported.

I can see the editors of the paper now, gathered around the city desk smoking pipes as they planned their angle towards this historic, Pulitzer-potential news story.

“We can’t send a cub reporter, he’d just freeze up as soon as he lays eyes on Han, I mean, Indiana, I mean, Harrison.” Then another chimes in, “We’ve got to send someone who can relate to a man of that stature. You know, our own success story who can maybe even build a rapport with the actor— and get the scoop!”

The seasoned reporter they ended up sending also interviewed two older female fans waiting in the lobby, likely tipped off somehow as to the exact location and approximate arrival time of the A-list thespian. Maybe even bribes were involved, no telling, but they were ready with questions they planned to ask Ford should he decide to have a

seat and enjoy some complementary lobby coffee with them.

According to the article, “There he is!” was all they were able to exclaim as he quickly moved through the lobby. The elevators must have been really close to the front door. Meanwhile however, at that very moment, I was having a drink with a set designer on the project.

Among other little tidbits, she revealed that Ford was only scheduled to appear on set for seven days—total. His part, although key to the box office success his star power can attract, didn’t require him to shoot for more than a day here and there in the several cities slated for locations. He must be a first-take kind of actor.

With these facts in mind and doing the math, we realized that Ford must be pulling in just under $2 million per day for his part in the project.

We also surmised that his limited appearance in the film likely meant he’d be gracing the Noog for a total of say, 36 hours. That’s a far cry from the local news media’s reporting for the last several weeks that, “Harrison Ford is

filming a movie in Chattanooga!”

The excitement that ensued from the media’s initial battle cry enticed literally thousands of people to quit their jobs or at least take vacation time and wear suits in the burning sun for 12 hours a day at Engel Stadium. For weeks I’ve been scratching my head wondering how they were able to actually get so many people to drop everything and volunteer their time for days on end just to say they were a speck in the crowd in the baseball field scenes of a major motion picture. I mean, get a life people. Really!

I’ve got a bridge for sale if you’re interested.

I get that the weeks of filming have done wonders for our local economy, which is the best part of the whole thing. It just amazes me how so many here in Mayberry can be duped into giving up several days of their time just so they can say they were in a film they’ll have to pay $10 to go see— just like everyone else.

But hey, it just goes to show that—like Harrison Ford—once you’ve been in the movies everyone will surely wanna shake your hand.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that.

Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

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2nd Annual Shaving heads to make miracles happen At the age of 10, Jack was inspired to shave his head in honor of kids with cancer after reading the book ‘Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie’ by Jordan Sonnenblick. Join Jack as he shaves his head for the FOURTH time on June 10th to help raise funds for the Children‘s Hospital Foundation and local children battling cancer.

June 10, 2012 The Chattanooga Market First Tennessee Pavillion

Each year, about 50 children from our area are diagnosed with childhood cancer. Fortunately, these children have access to the latest cancer treatments right here at home through the Children’s Cancer Center at Children’s Hospital at Erlanger.

You can help. Join Jack and friends from Children’s Hospital on June 10th at the Chattanooga Market for the Second Annual Jack’s Chattanoggins. Sign up today to shave, volunteer or donate!

jackschattanoggins.org • jackshaves.org erlanger.org • @chattanoggins chattanoogapulse.com • JUNE 7-13, 2012 • The Pulse • 23