The Pulse 9.08 » Feb. 23-29, 2012

Feb. 23-29, 2012

“We ❤ Type” Issue

the bowl

» LISTEN UP, ROCK CITY!

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

RARELY A MONTH GOES BY WITHOUT A HOT new BAND PLAYING town. WE HAVE A CORE GROUP OF CLUBS TO THANK for that

history, channeled »

when the NEW CHATTANOOGA HISTORY CENTER OPENS LATER THIS YEAR, DIRECTOR DARYL BLACK will REVEAL THE CITY, WARTS AND ALL

» designers craft a font of DISTINCTION for the noog THE MASTERS, no jacket required

» daytripper: atlanta high art, kitsch & funk found and curated

DIZZYTOWN

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EDITORIAL

Contents february 23-29, 2012 • issue no. 9.08

Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • Michael Crumb • John DeVore Brook Evans • Randall Gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik • Alex Teach Richard Winham Cartoonists Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jesse Reklaw • Tom Tomorrow Photography Josh Lang • Lesha Patterson Interns Britton Catignani • Kinsey Elliott Molly Farrell • Rachel Saunders

ADVERTISING Sales Director Lysa Greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick Leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp? 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402

letters

Please limit letters to 300 words or less. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

the fine print

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

© 2012 Brewer Media BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

COVER STORY

History in the Making

• Dr. Daryl Black is the guiding force behind the new Chattanooga History Center. Janis Hashe takes a look behind the scenes. » 9 Daryl Black photographed by Lesha Patterson

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PASSING THROUGH

Jonny & Michelle’s Fifty Nifty adventure wedding bells rang in chattanooga over the weekend and Jonny and Michelle Hoffner breezed into town to photograph the party for a good cause. The Minneapolis-based couple set a goal to photograph 50 weddings in 50 states, all within 50 weeks. This plan, aptly titled the Fifty Nifty Tour, was designed to raise $50,000 for victims of human trafficking.

The idea stemmed from a pinky promise. Since forming Paper Antler Photography in 2008, the Hoffners have teamed with She Dances, a Birmingham-based nonprofit, to donate 10 percent of their proceeds to the cause.

She Dances is committed to providing holistic restoration for young girls who have been trafficked and sexually exploited in Honduras. Having heard that the organization was opening a safe home in that Central American country, the Hoffners developed an idea for the tour and made a pinky promise to carry the plan through.

“Going down and meeting the girls in the safe home in person really put a face to this growing epidemic,” said Michelle.

After announcing the tour last winter, the couple had the opportunity to visit the home and meet the girls living there and receiving professional care.

“This is our effort to not be weighed down by the magnitude of the problem and to do what we can with our lives and with our jobs to make a difference,” she said.

Almost a year later, the plan

Photographers tour the country, shooting 50 weddings in 50 states in 50 weeks, raising money to fight human trafficking. has been set in action and the adventure has begun. Chattanooga was the second stop on the ever-expanding tour.

The Hoffners planned most of their stops as they began to book, creating somewhat of a regional travel guide. However, plans changed and now they are traveling cross-country at more of a track-and-field sprint, booking gigs along the way. Having confirmed 35 weddings, they have reached 70 percent of their goal. They will continue to book as interest grows, but they are making strides to encourage wedding planners and event vendors to match their donation to the cause in order to reach their $50,000 goal.

4 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Couples from across the country have contacted the Hoffners about the cause and are interested in becoming involved through their special day. Word of the tour has spread through referrals, word of mouth and endorsements through blogs, and the Hoffners do what they can to portray the quirkiness, joy and beauty of a moment.

Jonny and Michelle are as adventuresome, imaginative and honest as the work they produce. Jonny, a one-time rancher, and Michelle, from Ghana-bound to photography found, are certainly worth watching. In fact, another supplementary fundraising effort can be found on their website, thefiftynifty.com. If you donate to She Dances on Tuesday Pledge Day, Jonny just might karaoke for you and post it on their blog.

To stay informed about their travels and listen to interesting stories—think eye patches and hypnosis—follow them on Facebook or Twitter (#fiftynifty).

—Kinsey Elliott

NOTABLE NOOGANS

Former CCA student receives national arts award trent creswell has, yet again, something to celebrate. Having left Chattanooga upon graduation from the Center for Creative Arts in 2009, Creswell found success in his studies at Sarah Lawrence College in New York.

Most recently, Creswell received the Outstanding Arts School Alumnus Award during the national conference of Arts Schools Network, the nation’s largest professional

membership organization of specialized schools.

The award is given annually to one former ASN-member school student whose commitment to excellence is shown through accomplishments in the areas of citizenship, arts and academics.

Since relocating to New York, Creswell has refined his craft in a variety of works, including writing, producing and acting in several of them.

Creswell received the award on Jan. 26, but Chattanooga has reaped the benefits of his shared artistic achievements through community theater productions as well as CCA programs. And after his remarkable recovery from a near-fatal traffic accident in the summer of 2008, Creswell’s inspiration seems to have grown feverishly.

During his senior year at the Center for Creative Arts, Creswell won the Creative Non-Fiction Award from the National Foundation for Advancement in the Arts for his autobiographical piece “Auto-Bike-Ography; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Cody Pinson,” and was subsequently honored as a Presidential Scholar of the Arts nominee. In 2010, he was the recipient of the Edward Albee Fellowship, from the Edward Albee Foundation.

His innovative theater productions have been performed at the Baryshnikov Center, The Neofuturists, Mary Archie and The Rattlestick Playwright’s Theatre.

Creswell also penned a new translation of Anton Chekhov’s “Uncle Vanya” at Sarah Lawrence, and directed and starred in a production of the play.

—Kinsey Elliott

The Noog: Rock’s bestkept secret? when track 29 announced last week that Jack White (he of the White Stripes and erstwhile Nashville resident) would open his solo tour at the venue in support of his debut solo album, “Blunderbuss,” Facebook exploded. White doesn’t tour often, so his legion of fans were eager to procure a ticket to his brief four-show tour launching in Chattanooga and continuing to Birmingham, Memphis and Tulsa. That’s it, so far. Demand for tickets was overwhelming, if that’s not too much of an understatement, and soon exhausted, leaving those without to accuse Track 29’s servers of buckling under the substantial activity.

Not true. Even The Pulse initially bought into the accusations, but the fact is that an artist of White’s popularity quickly exceeded the availability of tickets in a matter of minutes—simple math. Many concluded the venue was not experienced nor equipped to handle such a show, but Track 29 is very much in control. While its capacity is relatively small, the venue has booked (and quickly sold out) enough concerts to earn itself a reputation for professionalism few young venues of its type can claim.

Which may be exactly why White—and before him, The Avett Brothers—chose Track 29 and Chattanooga. All things considered, it’s an extraordinary development for the city’s live music scene, and one that should be celebrated (even if you did not get a ticket). And while Track 29 is bringing touring acts previously unimaginable to town, they are not alone in transforming Chattanooga into a rock ‘n’ roll hot spot, a town once ignored but now considered not only worthy but increasingly pivotal.

Consider JJ’s Bohemia, a vital if improbably tiny club which routinely books such a wildly eclectic mix of local, regional and national acts, it’s no stretch to believe at least a few will be vaulted to stardom. In recent months, bands such as the Alabama Shakes and Cloud Nothings have graced its cramped stage. The Shakes were recently featured on Conan O’Brien’s late-night show and Cloud Nothings are gathering critical mass so quickly they are no longer likely to be seen in such an intimate space again. Need proof? About two hours before their show, the Nothings passed the Black Keys in album sales on iTunes.

Across the river at Sluggo’s, where pre-

sumably no show is too big to under promote, the Pine Hill Haints appeared seemingly out of nowhere to the amazement of a crowd who couldn’t believe such a band was playing Chattanooga with such little awareness. Indeed, a hand-scrawled handbill tacked on the wall of the Pickle Barrel was sole evidence of the band’s Valentine’s Day show.

Elsewhere, at Rhythm & Brews, long a stalwart space for numerous classic rock and tribute bands of significant popularity, continues to book outside of the box, bringing such eclectic acts as Amy Ray (of the Indigo Girls) and the enormously respected James McMurtry to its stage. The Honest Pint is yet another star in this loose configuration of hot spots, bringing such acts as The Features to town while forwarding the careers of a full slate of top-notch local bands such as The Bohannons performing to appreciative audiences.

When The Avett Brothers’ sold-out, yearend show at Track 29 was included in an online portfolio of photographs at rollingstone.com (photographed by Chattanoogan Allie Clarke and curated by Rolling Stone online editor and Chattanoogan Julie Holder), it was reported with much ado here and elsewhere. Such events have been so few and far between, the local media (including The Pulse) view them as startling national exposure. That’s changing.

Chattanooga’s strategic location between Nashville and Atlanta is one link in the chain, but that road has been well travelled by bands since the dawn of popular music. And concentrations of artists in such Tennessee cities such as Memphis and Nashville is not news. If the Noog is truly developing a reputation as the country’s best-kept music scene secret, it is because of the constellation of creative clubs and the visionary owners behind these venues who we should acknowledge.

What is also no secret but should be evident to anyone associated with the music scene in Chattanooga is that a vital, explosive, diverse group of venues—and therein lies the magical synchronicity—are bringing cutting-edge, next-big-thing bands to town on such a routine basis that many are on to that Next Big Thing before locals can say, “I saw them at JJ’s.”

Last Sunday, one Facebook friend of ours noticed (almost too late) that Kelley Deal of The Breeders was performing with Mike Montgomery in the casual duo known as R. Ring. The show was advertised in the club’s weekly ad in The Pulse, but little else was mentioned. It’s another example of the understated, unexpected and under-the-radar acts the city’s maverick clubs are bringing to town. Chattanooga doesn’t expect that.

Pay attention, Rock City.

Jack White tickets, anyone?

—Bill Ramsey

Editoon

rick baldwin

Abba’s House turns Santorium get out your sweater vests, Chattanooga! Dark Horse douchebag-turnedpotential Republican front-runner Rick Santorum comes to town on Saturday, Feb. 25, for a Chattanooga Tea Party event at Abba’s House in Hixson.

In a Right-Side Editorial in the schizophrenic Times Free Press last Sunday, the giddily delusional Free Pressers hailed Santorum the Republican Party’s front-runner ofthe-moment, noting he leads Mitt Romney by 7 percentage points in the Volunteer State. Only editorial and sports writers ever refer to Tennessee as the “Volunteer State,” but nevermind that.

Santorum is a particularly offensive human being whose views of America are lodged in an era thankfully long gone yet still embraced by a stal-

DIZZYTOWN

Detail from this week’s “This Modern World”

by Tom Tomorrow. See Page 19.

wart brand of sheltered, fear-mongers dead set on preserving American Values, circa 1950.

That Santorum is leading in various polls is more about the party’s jangling nerves than the ex-senator’s popularity. Romney’s Rollercoaster President-

or-Bust Tour continues to zig-zag across the Union as his “message” is continually unmasked as nothing more than naked ambition backed by ... naked ambition. And Newt GingRich? If it weren’t for the SuperPacs, funded by oddball super-rich patrons, acts like Newt and Ron Paul would be over by now. How long does it take for Joe Six-Pack to understand this, we wonder? But maybe it’s Joe 18-Pack these days—or maybe 24.

To the delight of many, Sanctimonious Santorum will be preaching to the Lemming Choir in Hixson, as Free Press fans tout Santorum’s alleged fiscal expertise and paint him as the candidate to face Obama. But that’s all he is: A candidate—with little else but extremist views and a sweater vest.

Pray for rain. chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

On the Beat

alex teach

You Call it OCD, I Call it Comfort “ i was vacuuming my garage a few days ago as i normally do (though only once a month, maybe twice—I’m not weird or anything) when I got the distinct feeling that something was wrong. Missing. Lacking, perhaps.

I looked into the carport and saw that the scrap wood from a recent project was neatly placed into stacks according to dimensions and length. I’d collated my scrap lumber more efficiently by placing it in storage (and using it to create the storage itself) yet despite this semblance of order, something was still missing.

Just … out of reach.

It was maddening.

A buddy stopped by after I’d offered a loan of a laser level, and it seemed appropriate to offer him a Guest Beer I kept nearby for just these occasions.

(I rarely drink beer, myself; it’s an insult to liquor, and it tends to make me feel “funny” after a bit.)

He opened the door to my backup refrigerator, and as he reached in he froze in place.

“Dude,” he said, never taking his eyes off the refrigerated prize. “Your fridge. Everything is facing the same way.”

“Duh,” I replied. “Why? What’s up?”

“Every can, everything, even the … is this cheese? It’s all facing the same way. There must be 50 cans, bottles and boxes in

here.” His head shook quickly, as if just waking up. “This is creepy.”

“It brings me comfort. It’s no big deal. Please take it from the right side though, yeah?”

He lingered a moment, looked at me, then grabbed a Sam Adam’s Light and shrugged his shoulders.

Comfort. Is it such a bad thing?

I know I do these things, but why is it wrong? I’m just responding to a truth that few have realized or will at least admit to: That “control” is an illusion. A pipe dream. Sure, we can direct things in a likely direction in most cases, and at least nudge them in others, but in the end, we’re all just passengers in a car that no one is allowed to drive.

I’d talked with this same

friend at work a few weeks back about a pedestrian who had been struck in front of headquarters a few years ago. The guy had been crossing the State Highway at about 3 a.m. and apparently didn’t think it was necessary to look both ways. Unfortunately, “most” of his body made it into the car through the windshield. (By “most” I mean the “head and torso part;” if I got more graphic you may become sad, and I’m in the business of smiles, of course.)

Another car was pulling into headquarters just seconds after this happened and inadvertently ran over what I shall politely describe as “one of the other guys legs.” By coincidence this man (the driver of the second car) was one of the three people on this Earth I call a true friend, and it really bugged him. (He still ate the lunch he’d been out to get as he was debriefed by traffic investigators, but that’s a quality that made him a rare friend.)

The driver of the first car, though? Gone. Catatonic. He even sat in his car for several moments after the event trying to process the unexpected recently departed who was now occupying (and also making a horrific mess in) the passenger seat of his Saturn.

I’ve actually wondered what

I’m just responding to a truth: That ‘control’ is an illusion. A pipe dream. Sure, we can direct things in a likely direction in most cases, and at least nudge them in others, but in the end, we’re all just passengers in a car that no one is allowed to drive.

ever happened to that poor soul these many years later. How do you get past that? But that’s another topic.

My partner and I talked it over. The former pedestrian (let’s call him “Humpty”) had just been in a convenience store before his death. What if the cashier had counted his change out a little more slowly? What

if the driver of the car had left his wallet at the establishment he’d left, and had to go back for it? Consider the mind-numbing sequence of events it took to bring their paths to that (literal) intersection at that exact same time.

Control. An illusion, albeit a pleasant one.

So if you want all the lines on your carpet or your lawn to be parallel after vacumming or mowing, or you collate T-shirts by topic (po-lice, Hard Rock, casual, political, humor), or you alphabetize your DVD’s, or have a dozen strategically placed umbrella’s to confront rain’s unpredictable nature, what’s the big deal?

Comfort is what you make of it—particularly when you have a birds-eye view of the final random dice-rolls people get on this Earth. Let me and those like me have that. And take your drinks from the right side, please, so I can ... yes, excellent, thank you. Oh, you seemed to nudge the one next to it, would you mind, uh ... Great, thanks.

No, I’ll restock it later.

Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/ alex.teach.

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Only Chattanooga

A Typeface to Call Our Own

By Rich Bailey

four local designers are pushing for another Chattanooga first: to make Chattanooga the first American city with its own typeface. Ever since a sample of Chatype debuted late last year, it’s gotten rave reviews and growing support. The creative team recently sat down with The Pulse and stressed that Chatype is about much more than nicely shaped letters.

“It’s a connecting point for everybody to feel proud of the city,” said Robbie de Villiers of Wilton Foundry. He and Jeremy Dooley of Insigne Design are the professional type designers creating Chatype.

They are two out of about 300 type designers worldwide.

“That’s really the goal, couched in the project of a typeface: to pull everyone in and say ‘we are Chattanooga,’” said Jonathan Mansfield.

He and DJ Trischler are coowners of D+J Brand Consulting and serve as Chatype’s art directors.

In Europe it’s second nature for cities to have their own typeface, according to de Villiers, but not in the U.S. Minneapolis recently went through what he called “an academic exercise” to develop its own typeface. Lots of good ideas surfaced but there was no adoption by city leaders.

To make Chatype the first implemented city typeface in the U.S., the designers decided to go viral. After a team of 11 people launched Chatype with a website and business plan during the 48Hour Launch last November, the design team launched a crowdsourced funding campaign in January using Kickstarter.

Seeking to capture Chattanooga in a typeface, the designers did what urban place makers have done before them. They looked at the city’s

Chatype aims to be the first implemented typeface in the U.S. And designers are going viral with a Kickstarter campaign that’s drawing worldwide support. history and its visual character now, both in the built environment and in the typefaces Chattanooga designers are using. They took inspiration from the Cherokee syllabary, created by Sequoyah not far from Chattanooga. They found that the Walnut Street Bridge has something in common with classic Roman type: both reflect the “golden ratio,” a series of aesthetically pleasing proportions that have been used by designers of all kinds for centuries.

Chatype is actually a family of typefaces, including four weights: thin, regular, medium and bold. The medium weight also includes a stencil style set (where letters have breaks in them like stencils).

Although the type designs

shown so far may seem finished, the letterforms are still being tweaked, and much more work behind the scenes is required to make the typeface complete and usable for design projects. The price tag for creating a custom typeface is typically about $10,000, which is the amount the Kickstarter campaign is seeking.

Pressed for a technical description of the typeface, the team settles on “futuristic rounded geometric slab serif with historical overtones.”

But it’s clear that they are more interested in connections than technical specifications.

“This type feels like Chattanooga, but it doesn’t feel like MLK or Lookout or North Shore. It’s unique,” said Mansfield. “It feels kind of rugged. It smells like industry but it feels like technology.

It’s friendly and warm but not like a puppy. It’s funny because type design is such a mathematical, technically skilled art, but all that’s contributing to the emotional interaction that someone has or doesn’t have with it.”

“An art director I worked under used to always challenge me to create a crystal goblet,” said Trischler, “which is something extremely beautiful, but that you can see through and see what’s inside.

Often what makes beautiful design is that it just fits into your life, it doesn’t distract you too much.”

“You could use it for a trail race or for a meeting with all the geeks in town to talk about the Gig,” said Dooley.

“It can work for all ends of

the spectrum, from outdoorsy stuff to futuristic stuff to just Chattanooga stuff.”

Reaction to Chatype has been overwhelmingly positive, and just plain overwhelming.

“We thought it would be big, and it’s huge,” said Mansfield.

Support has been growing in Chattanooga ever since Chatype first went public at 48Hour Launch. But the Kickstarter campaign brought Chatype raves and financial support from all over the world.

“A lot of designers are commenting, saying ‘I wish my city had a typeface,’” said Trischler. “One was in German. All I could understand was ‘love it.’” A student in London tweeted “Never thought I would want to live in America but this place looks pretty cool.”

Although most of the money pledged so far has come from Chattanooga, most donors are from overseas, the west coast and Chicago. With a week left in their Kickstarter campaign, the creative team is more interested in getting lots of people involved than in collecting lots of dollars.

“We would love to have a bunch of $1 donations en masse from Chattanoogans,” said Mansfield.

“If 500 people gave a dollar that would be huge,” said Trischler, “because we can take it to the city and say these are votes. People are putting their money where their mouth is. Support from Iceland is great, but local is better.”

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Daytripper: Atlanta

High Art, Low Culture Minutes Apart VISIT “Picasso to Warhol: Fourteen Modern Masters” Through April 29, 2012 High Museum of Art 1280 Peachtree St. N.E. high.org SHOP The Junkman’s Daughter 464 Moreland Ave. N.E. thejunkmansdaughter. com EAT The Vortex 438 Moreland Ave. N.E. thevortexbarandgrill.com STAY Hotel Meliá Atlanta 590 W. Peachtree St. N.W. melia-hotels.com READ Creative Loafing Atlanta’s alt-weekly clatl.com

By Bill Ramsey when i was a teenager in the 1970s, my mother wasted no opportunity to vacate the bucolic confines of our Hixson suburb to connect with the cultural offerings of Atlanta. She was a painter and a lover of modern art, so the High Museum of Art was always a high for her. But as much as she tried, she failed to instill a sense of appreciation for museums in me and my father. Upon returning, my Dad would, after a few drinks, imagine himself a “Modern Master,” creating his own Sharpie masterpieces of astronomical value on a legal pad that would leave me in howls of laughter. Mother was not amused.

She did not live to discover that I grew not only to appreciate art, but to have visited some of the world’s finest museums—in Paris, New York, Los Angeles—and enjoy our city’s fine Hunter Museum as well. On a recent Daytripper jaunt to Atlanta, I rediscovered the High, fairly dripping in enthusiasm to view “Picasso to Warhol: Fourteen Modern Masters,” which opened last fall and continues through

Modern Masters at the High, galleries of calculated low culture in Little Five Points.

8 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

April 29. Do not miss this.

With more than 100 works from 14 seminal 20th century artists, even my former self could appreciate this exhibit. “Picasso to Warhol” is one of the largest concentrations of modern art masterpieces to ever be exhibited in the southeastern United States, and it is nothing less than a startling walk through art history.

The exhibit features less than 10 works from each artist, but the magic exists in encountering such masterpieces like Picasso’s “Girl in the Mirror,” pictured at left, which opens the exhibit, and pairing them with examples of early, lesser known works one would not associate with the artist. It’s a rapid timewarp of evolving style, and utterly absorbing. And brief.

But that’s the point, I suppose. Modern art has developed equally as rapidly.

In no time, you’re viewing masterworks from Picasso, Matisse and Mondrian, Duchamp and Pollock, then Jasper Johns (the exhibit’s only living artist and its local connection—Johns was born in Augusta) and Warhol, whose pieces bookend the exhibit.

The highlights are many, but it’s the opportunity to view up close these pieces we know so well that delights.

A print of Picasso’s “Girl in the Mirror” hung in my childhood home. The graphic designer in me closely examined Mondrian’s “Composition No. II, with Red and Blue,” inspired by New York’s street grids. I laughed yet very much appreciated Duchamp’s ““In Advance of the Broken Arm,” an example of his “readymade” works—in this case, a simple snow shovel he signed, dated and declared “art”—suspended from the ceiling. I continue to regard Jackson Pollock as a serious man who was less serious about his best-known “drip” works.

Johns’ work I regarded with a careful

eye—he is, after all, still alive and creating. And I viewed in awe Warhol’s Campbell Soup can collection, as well as his silk-screened Brillo and Heinz boxes and self-portrait. I sat for longer than I expected watching his “Screen Test” films, short portraits of celebrity visitors to The Factory. Watching a young Lou Reed drink Coke at slow speed is more fascinating than you’d imagine.

The tour ends, of course, in the gift shop, where you’ll find countless examples of the masterpieces you’ve just viewed turned into tacky souvenirs. Or maybe not. I’d like to think Picasso—and certainly Warhol—would appreciate the cartoon finger-puppets in their images. I bought the exhibit poster, which is available in Picasso’s “Girl” or Warhol’s Campbell’s Soup cans. I asked the shopgirl which sold better. She crinkled her face and peered at me behind heavy black glasses and said, “It’s a matter of taste, isn’t it?” Exactly.

But because I have inherited more than my fair share of my father’s amusement at such high-brow adventures, I thirsted for the opposite—not low-brow, but certainly low culture. The antidote was only a few miles away in Little Five Points, where I wandered through The Junkman’s Daughter, which is a warehouse for every gag gift Spencer’s Gifts ever offered—and more. Only steps away is The Vortex, whose skull entry beckoned me into another type of museum, this one a collection of Americana less curated than calculated. Here, regulars and visitors consume enormous burgers and pop tater tots like others at Atlanta’s tony hotels nibble on premium nut mixes.

Fully satiated, I returned to my midtown hotel, the Meliá, whose lobby is itself something of an art installation, with its Euro feel, thumping music and exotic staff. On this evening, the hotel welcomed cowboys from the Professional Bull Riders Circuit and teenage cheerleaders competing in a national competition. Weird and delightful all at once, much like my daylong tour.

Visit Atlanta to catch a flight, catch a concert or pro sports game, but play hooky one weekday and reacquaint yourself with its culture. You won’t be disappointed.

Chattanooga History Center director Dr. Daryl Black stands in the midst of construction at the center, located in the Tennessee Aquarium Plaza.

history in the making M

By Janis Hashe • Photos by Lesha Patterson

ost of us remember the mandatory field trip to a local history museum. Grumbling, we piled on the bus and once there, unenthusiastically eyed a dusty collection of artifacts supposed to have some connection to what we were learning in school.

Innovative design, compelling narrative merge in creating the Chattanooga History Center

Prepare to turn that museum stereotype inside out.

When the reconceived Chattanooga History Center opens in the Tennessee Aquarium Plaza at the end of this year, it will be another crown jewel in downtown’s already glittering collection of top-notch attractions. And there is no doubt it will also raise a few eyebrows—which is just fine with the center’s best advocate, its young and fervent director, Dr. Daryl Black. »P10

chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

FRIDAY 2/24 THE POOL 9 pm

SATURDAY 2/25 THE POOL 9 pm

SUN SUNDAY 2/26 HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY! MONDAY 2/27 MARK “PORKCHOP” HOLDER 7 pm

TUES TUESDAY 2/28 $1000 SUGAR’S STAR KARAOKE SEMI-FINALS ★ 8 pm ★ $2 Sangria ★

WEDNESDAY 2/29 ROGER ALAN WADE 7:30 pm

THURS THURSDAY 3/1 THURSDAY NIGHT FEVER with DJ BARRY DISCO-FOOD-DRINKS-PRIZES

7-11 pm

“The center will tell the stories of seven major turning points in Chattanooga’s history,” he says. “There has been reluctance in the past to fully deal with some parts of that history. History is acts of memory. Some of what the center will have to tell will move the community’s memories in different directions.”

From side street to front and center

The Chattanooga Regional History Museum was started in an elementary school by a group of grassroots volunteers. By 1978, it was housed at the corner of First and Chestnut Streets, where it stayed, with additional space at 401 Broad St., until 2006.

“At that point, the board of directors made a bold decision,” Black says. “Visitor numbers were way down. You could look out the windows and see people with small children making the decision not to brave the traffic to get to the museum.”

So the museum’s board began a visioning process that ultimately included getting community input into what people wanted in a history museum, raising $10 million from private sources and community foundations, and acquiring the space formerly housing the Chattanooga Convention and Visitors Bureau, directly next to the aquarium.

The name was officially changed to Chattanooga History Center, Black was hired, became executive director in 2009, and a world-class design firm, New York’s Ralph Appelbaum Associates— whose commissions include the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. and the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville—was contracted to recreate the building from the inside out.

“The new center will tell compelling stories in a narrative way,” says Black, “Chattanooga has been the turningpoint place several times in American history. There is so much story to tell.”

10 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Chattanooga History Center When the new history center opens at the end of 2012, Daryl Black says he expects 69,000 visitors annually.

The center will include: • 20,000 square feet of floor space • Eleven exhibition galleries • Orientation Theater • Three Memory Installations • Crisis Theater • Story Center • Two class/meeting rooms • Museum store • Offices • Collection storage and archives Visit the center’s website at: chattanoogahistory.org

Referring to Hayden White’s influential essay “The Burden of History”, he explains, “Historians need to help us understand how people experienced their lives in specific times and specific places. So, we ask ‘What is history and how does it function in modern society?’”

In other words, dust is out and relevance is in.

The seven stories

Black’s major task was to identify both the most important Chattanooga stories to

tell and work with the design team on how to tell them. The final list includes: • The Trail of Tears. “We’ll show how it started, the connection with the railroads and gold,” Black says. The center’s galleries will include interviews with contemporary Cherokee recounting the stories of their ancestors and relating them to their lives today.

• Transportation. “Chattanooga was the center of the rail network, making it enormously important in that con-

nection,” Black notes.

• The Civil War. In addition to the well-known battles, the center will focus on the divided loyalties of the region. “The farmers of East Tennessee had little in common with the plantation owners of the Deep South,” Black says. “However, Unionists here were not anti-slavery but did want to preserve the Union.” He explains that one of the reasons Chattanooga’s African-American population grew so rapidly is that when the city fell to the Union

army, thousands of slaves fled to freedom behind Union lines. This laid the foundation for a city that is still, according to the most recent U.S. Census, nearly 35 percent African-American. Materials in the center’s press kit state: “In Chattanooga, self-emancipating slaves and their descendants created one of the nation’s most creative and cohesive AfricanAmerican communities.”

• Urban renewal projects of the

side into and through the center while maintaining a good narrative flow.” Space was not the problem—there was plenty of that. But modernizing the idea of “museum”, and using all the tools that modern technology makes available were key.

An orientation theater will show a film describing the various ways visitors can experience the center.

Open space will co-exist with smaller, more concentrated areas called “lan-

“There has been reluctance in the past to fully deal with some parts of that history. History is acts of memory.

Some of what the center will have to tell will move the community’s memories in different directions.” dr. daryl black

chattanooga history center 1950s and ’60s. Here Black expects what history recounts to be controversial. Government monies earmarked for “urban renewal” were used to push African-American populations out of areas they had traditionally occupied. Vibrant neighborhoods were destroyed and the “projects” were built. Black is convinced that Chattanooga must look at all aspects of its past in order to understand its present and future.

• The civil rights movement in Chattanooga. The actual voices and stories of those who participated in the lunch counter sit-ins will be used, telling the story of how Howard High students decided on their own to contest “whites only” rules.

• Chattanooga’s role as one of the U.S.’s major industrial centers. The city’s rail and river systems continue to make it pivotal. “Entrepreneurs and industrialists made Chattanooga one of the nation’s most diverse industrial economies through the 1950s, and, in the process, created the most successful marketing system in the world,” press materials state. This story will also include the downside of pollution and eventual industrial decay.

• The now world-famous process of revitalization, starting with Vision 2000, that continues today, and of which the center itself is an example. “It was not just about building pretty places,” Black says. “It was about making an economy work.”

“Lanterns” of information

During a recent “hard hat” tour of the emerging facility, Black explained that as the center was being re-imagined inside an existing building, one of the main challenges was “getting people from out-

terns”, which will serve as “memory installations”, in which visitors can hear recorded interviews and view more detailed artifacts about the stories of the Cherokee Nation, the Civil War and contemporary voices. QR codes in all 11 galleries will allow any smart phone user to immediately link to additional web sources of information related to what is on display.

Color bands, starting at the approach to the building, continuing through the front door and through the galleries will help guide visitors to and through the facility, but, Black emphasizes, each person can experience the center in their own way. Some will want all the high-tech bells and whistles—others will prefer to wander untethered through the galleries and lanterns, absorbing at a different rate.

Huge windows in selected areas allow natural light and a connection to the outdoors, further distancing the center from the enclosed, cloister-like atmosphere of older museums.

Another important concept from the very beginning, he adds, was creating mid-sized meeting rooms that could be used by the community for a variety of purposes. Two of those are included in the design.

And of course, there will be a museum store, which will feature a number of locally produced items related to the artifacts and exhibits in the galleries.

“History does not exist outside the stories we conjure for ourselves,” Black says.

The Chattanooga History Center is being designed to both conjure those stories and add to them the stories of others, creating a living narrative. Far from being dusty, history emerges as a vivid link to a past that is always with us. chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

LIST

THE FEB. 23-29

‘Rebecca Furiosa’

This production blends a live quintet of woodwinds, strings and electric guitar with dancers and multimedia projections. Employing theater, performance art, and experimental music, Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” explores the power of religion in the cultural landscape of the United States. The ferocity of our religious fervor finds personification in the character Rebecca. This snapshot of her coming-of-age mirrors the coming-ofage of the American nation. The nightly performances of this 50-minute production will be followed by a panel discussion with the composer, members of the production team,and performers.

Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” SUN 02.26-28 • $10• 8 p.m. nightly Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org

See it again for the first time.

Watch the movie. Hear the CSO play!

12 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

THUR02.23

FRI02.24

MUSIC

MUSIC

RobosApien with Smooth Dialects

Martin Sexton

• Alternative and punk rock at The Pint.

9 p.m. • The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. • (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

EVENT John Reep • Yes, it’s the “That thing got a Hemi?” guy.

8 p.m. • The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. • (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

• “New folk” singer-songwriter, with Rayland Baxter.

8 p.m. • Track 29 1400 Market St. • (423) 521-2929 track29.co

EVENT Lewis Black • Caustic, angry comic profiled last week.

8 p. m. • Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. • (423) 642-TIXS chattanoogaonstage.com

SAT02.25 MUSIC Wanda Jackson • Rock’s first bad girl keeps on swinging.

8 p.m. • Track 29 1400 Market St. • (423) 521-2929 track29.co

EVENT Hops with the Frogs • Sea creatures, drink Big River brew.

6:30 p.m. • Tennessee Aquarium • 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 • tnaqua.org

SUN02.26 MUSIC Basically Baroque • CSO Chamber Series in an intimate setting.

3 p.m. • Read House • 827 Broad St. (423) 266-4121 • sheratonreadhouse.com

EVENT “Seussical Jr.” • Horton the Elephant, the backstory.

2:30 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. • (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com

Music

Party at the

Raging Whoremones

Meet the Whoremones—Joanie, Fe Fe, Hoey and Tammy. Photo • Chuck Crowder

By Chuck Crowder

part punk, part geek, part cool and a little awkward. Meet Hoey, Joannie, Fe Fe and Tammy— known collectively as the Whoremones. An all-girl band who recreate the spirit of famed punk pioneers the Ramones, the band delivers a unique take on the beloved “brothers” who spawned from New York’s CBGB in the mid-1970s.

The Whoremones recreate the Ramones with an all-girl spin for a new generation Playing straight-up Ramones covers and a few originals, the Whoremones have been performing around town for the past eight months to a growing fan base that rang-

es from crowd-surfers and moshers to grandmothers and kids alike.

“We had a little 9-year-old girl come up and sing ‘The KKK Took My Baby Away,’” says Hoey. “It was a touching moment because the little girl learned all of the words just to sing it with us.”

As far as learning the tunes themselves, the Whoremones basically reinvented the Ramones from scratch. Even though the Ramones were not known for their musicianship per se, these four musicians with limited (if any) formal training found the task of working up the songs to be a labor of love.

“Fe Fe was re-learning bass while I was taking drum lessons off of YouTube,” says Tammy Whoremone (Lara Lee Williams). “And since Hoey can only sing the songs in the various keys she can hit, the music has a nice unique

sound that is the Whoremones.”

In fact, writing material in the same vein as their heroes has taken them in directions the Ramones might’ve never seen coming. Their current 13-16 song live set includes a varying mix of the raw songs off the first two Ramones albums together with the more pop-friendly material of latter records. But whether an original or cover, each song has its own unique Whoremones stamp.

“A girl singing ‘Something To Do’ adds a little more energy than the original,” says guitarist Joannie Whoremone (Joan-Michelle, who also plays in local favorite Prophets & Kings). “And when learning ‘Today Your Love, Tomorrow The World,’ we found that limiting the guitar part during the verses added a cool dynamic to the original song.”

When asked what inspired their formation and passion, band members agreed that in addition to a love for the Ramones, each wanted to help recreate a live show by a band many of its current fans never had the opportunity to experience themselves.

“It’s about letting go without perfection,” says bassist Fe Fe Whoremone (Lauren Haynes). “Just like the Ramones, our main goals were to just create a scene and play the songs we love. We’re less ‘tribute,’ more ‘parallel universe.’ ” The Whoremones Thursday, March 8 Collective Clothing Warehouse 3933 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 488-0631 facebook.com/allgirlramones

All Week Long!

Mon & tue LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays OPEN MIC STARTS FEB. 29

5-Week Guitar & Bass Contest thursdays

LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

WEEKEND PARTY ZONE!

FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

PATRICK SCOTT BAND

sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

THE REGULARS Party on Two Floors!

1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi Bar

Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919

chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Chattanooga Live Sound Check

Thur 02.23

Wednesday • February 22 Breaking Laces • Behold the Brave Tristen • Stephannie Nilles Thursday • February 23 The Blockcrusher • Opportunities Friday • February 24 Dangermuffin Strung Like A Horse Saturday • February 25 David Mayfield Parade Moonslew • Curtis Eller Sunday • February 26 Mr. Quick and the Gunslinger Smooth Dialects • Function Tuesday • February 28 Dear Rabbit • Alex Thompson Wednesday • February 29 SoCro • Sam and Tre • Loco

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, Feb. 23: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, Feb. 24: 9pm Wolfie Calhoun

Saturday, Feb. 25: 9pm Taylor Laskowski

Tuesday, Feb. 28: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

Gibson Brothers 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Sam Bush Band 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co The Blockcrusher, Opportunities 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 RobosApien, Smoot Dialects 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Fried Chicken Trio 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Fri 02.24 Slim Pickins 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Martin Sexton 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co The Pool 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Wolfie Calhoun 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Butch Ross 9:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Dangermuffin, Strung Like A Horse 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia,

14 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Thursday, Feb. 23 • The Gibson Brothers at Barking Legs Leigh and Eric Gibson are two decades into a career that has brought them to the top of the bluegrass world. Their rise was crowned by honors for both Album of the Year and Vocal Group of the Year from the IBMA in 2011. Their last 5 albums have all reached No. 1 on the bluegrass radio charts.

Saturday, Feb. 25 • Wanda Jackson at Track 29 As a teenager in the mid 1950s, the diminutive Jackson was the first woman to perform unadulterated rock ‘n’ roll—and she oneupped the boys defining this new

231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Fly By Radio 10 p.m.Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Bud Lightning 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Sat 02.25 Mimi and Erin 6:30 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloonandbistro.com Robby Hopkins 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Towe Jam 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com The Pool 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956

genre, Elvis Presley included, with her exhilaratingly forthright approach. A tireless touring artist for more than 50 years, Jackson continues to win over new, young fans, including guitarist-vocalistWhite Stripes founder Jack White (at Track 29 on March 10).

Sunday, Feb. 26 • Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” at Barking Legs This riveting production blends a live quintet of woodwinds, strings, and electric guitar with dancers and multimedia projections. Employing Brechtian theater, performance art and experimental music, Rebecca Furiosa explores the power of religion in the cultural landscape of the United States.

sugarsribs.com David Mayfield Parade, Moonslew, Curtis Eller 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Woodford Sessions 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. marketstreettavern.com Satisfaction: A Tribute to The Rolling Stones 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Joseph Decosimo 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Wanda Jackson 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co 10th Annual Johnny Cash

Birthday Bash 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Taylor Laskowski 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Gabe Newell and Muddy Soul 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Electric Hearts 9 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

Sun 02.26

Mr. Quick and the Gunslinger, Smooth Dialects, Function 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 The Secret, Commonwealth 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa”

8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

Mon 02.27 Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Mark Holder 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com

Tue 02.28

Tim Hinck’s “Rebecca Furiosa” 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Dear Rabbit, Alex Thompson 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

Wed 02.29 Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

Bart’s Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.com SoCro, Sam and Tre, Loco 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Roger Alan Wade 8 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Who Will Open for Jake Owen?

7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com.

Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Between THE Sleeves

Regular Gigs

ERNIE PAIK

Musings on Muses

Thursdays Open Mic: Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Songwriters Showcase: Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests 8 p.m.

Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 • marketstreettavern.com Thursday Night Fever with DJ Barry 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 • sugarsribs.com

Throwing Muses “Anthology” (4AD) “it has been suggested that i was insane during the Muses early days, something I have vehemently denied in my effort to prove that this stuff could come out of our girlfriends, our sisters, and our mothers.”

So wrote Kristin Hersh, the main figure behind the band Throwing Muses, and listening to their early work, formed in the early 1980s when Hersh was a teenager, one could understandably question her stability. The first Muses album from 1986 is a singular masterpiece (and one of this writer’s alltime favorite albums) that taps into uncomfortable emotional depths with absolutely wrenching moments and dizzyingly creative interplay, exorcised using standard rock band guitars and drums.

Twenty-five years later, the group’s first career-spanning compilation, “Anthology,” arrives, available as single disc and a special edition which includes an extra disc of B-sides and rarities. Somewhat like a person who’s most interesting while drunk, Throwing Muses gradually became less compelling as its material became less unhinged and more adaptive of “college radio” rock aesthetics. Although “Anthology” samples from each of the band’s full-length studio albums, the track list is puzzling at times, with a dearth of numbers penned by the group’s other songwriter, Tanya Donelly, three from the relatively obscure (yet excellent) mini-album “The Fat Skier,” and just one—the somber closer “Two Step”—from “The Real Ramona,” the band’s breakthrough album.

honest music

Fridays

Music Wednesdays Live Jazz with

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com Bluegrass Night 8 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com amilton.com

Several selections are spot-on, though, including the intense self-loathing, indignation and despair of “Hate My Way,” the unclassifiable, Dada-poem “Fish” with its entrancing rhythm section momentum and a strikingly atypical guitar line, and the stirring “Cry Baby Cry” (not The Beatles song), which displays the band’s Meat Puppets country-punk influence and devastating lyrics such as “First a suicide without a note, and now a note without a suicide.”

The second disc is a mixed bag, with unnecessary covers of Jimi Hendrix’s “Manic Depression” and “Cry Baby Cry” (The Beatles song), but fans will find it essential for several standouts, such as the taut yet disquieting “Cottonmouth” and the jittery, propulsive “Snailhead.”

As a retrospective, it’ll do, but as an introduction to the band, I can’t imagine making a stronger impression than with the group’s powerful 1986 debut album—a quarter-century later, there’s still nothing quite like it.

Nightly Specials Mon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz!

Thur: Burger & Beer Night Sat: $2 Domestics Noon to Midnight

Saturdays

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com

Mondays Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com

Tuesdays Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 • funnydinner.com

Wednesdays Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

The Ben Friberg Trio Thursday • Feb. 23 Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist

with Special Guests

Friday • Feb. 24 • 9:30pm Butch Ross Saturday • Feb. 25 • 10pm Woodford Sessions 850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com.

Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com.

local and regional shows

RobosApien with Smooth Dialects ($3)

Thu, Feb 23

9pm

The Secret with Commonwealth

Sun, Feb 26

9pm

The Only Sons with Endelouz ($3)

Wed, Feb 29

7pm

Richie Owens and The Farm Bureau with Corduroy Road and John Truitt ($3)

Thu, Mar 1

9pm

Live Irish Music following the Irish Session players every Sunday night FREE SHOWS start at 7pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

Arts

Lookout! Mountain Okay Mountain brings provocative humor, irony and satire to UTC’s Cress Gallery

By Michael Crumb

the cress gallery at utc has just opened four collaborative works by nine artists collectively known as Okay Mountain. This collaboration brings yet another stunning and provocative show in the Diane Marek Visiting Artist Series to the Cress, which is now on display until March 20.

Eight of the nine artists attended an opening reception to discuss the four works they installed at the Cress Gallery.

Assembled at the gallery were Sterling Allen, Nathan Green, Ryan Hennessee, Carlos Rosales-Silva and Michael Sieban, who are all based in Austin, Texas; Josh Rios, currently in Chicago; Pete Duggins, now in Cambridge, Mass., and Justin

See more from the exhibition at chattanoogapulse.com.

Goldwater, now in Los Angeles.

Tim Brown was unable to leave Santa Barbara for the opening.

The talents and specializations of these artists span the spectrum of media from theory and concept to video and skateboard design, and they overlap in a number of areas. More remarkably, their collective vision and ambition—not to mention

16 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

18 hands—allows them to bring out works that react to deep cultural contexts with intricately playful elements. Common objects play a major role in the development of these works and they serve to direct our thoughts towards underlying cultural issues and activities with satirical verve.

Okay Mountain materials

presented include the massive “Wheel” (2011), “Multi-Station Machine” (2011), “Roadside Attractions” (2012), and “Water, Water Everywhere, So Let’s All Have A Drink” (2010). This last piece hangs as a 28-minute video loop.

Ruth Grover, curator at the Cress, eloquently summarizes the direction of this installa-

tion: “Blending humor with irony, Okay Mountain creates work that weaves an engaging yet dead serious commentary about our contemporary existence.”

Not to belabor the obvious, but these artists are men. That fact notwithstanding, their commitment to a rigorous cultural prodding tends to place their work outside of “typical” gender stereotypes, mostly through a “we’re all in this together” attitude that flows through their pieces. As actors within their work, though, they may be happy to play out various strategies of gender futility.

Part of the video presentation includes a sepia-toned, old western-style film called “Yellowbellies” in which segments reveal two of the artists practicing strategies of concealment.

Nothing like clowning around to relieve a sense of oppression; but wait a minute, doesn’t the need to hide suggest a form of oppression at work? Thus operates the paradoxical, satirical strategy of cultural hide-andseek.

Okay Mountain has received significant recognition for other projects, particularly for the award-winning “Corner Store” at the Pulse Miami Art Fair at

Art Basel Miami, in which they made a kind of fantasy convenience store where art collectors could purchase strange products that are also art objects. As much fun as all this acquiring may be, the whole process of participating in this installation brings attention to art as “commodity.” But since this attention emerges, the larger impact redirects our thoughts to the role of art in culture, a question far too deep for exposition here. Still, you can purchase “food for thought” at this “Corner Store.”

Okay Mountain’s “Roadside Attractions” bears a thematic similarity to “Corner Store,” in which the observer stands before a wooden rack filled with invitations to explore anything from an “Alchemist’s Laboratory” (apparently not what it seems) to any number of destinations.

Try to avoid tearing up from laughter as imaginary destinations beckon.

The video loop that mimics channel surfing through Okay Mountain’s television sensorium, from the inertia of “One Knife To Rule Them All” to the animated turtle and owl to the very live psychic channel, may enthrall you for more than one turn through this fantasmagoria.

These visiting artists have brilliantly situated the video loop so that it directs attention away from the other two very large pieces of significant intensity, just like most TV serves to distract us from daily circumstances.

“Wheel” stands about waist high on an average adult, and it’s big enough to fill a small room by itself. There seems an undeniable design confluence with the game show “Wheel of Fortune,” but the many demarcations here indicate the sort of things that could occur in the course of a day and, perhaps, a number of them on a heavy day. The stillness of this wheel suggests motion in the paradoxical way that our own existence occurs in relative motion. For most, “stillness” means motion at intense speeds through space and time.

“Multi-Station Machine” simply reeks of cognitive dissonance. Nathan Green smiles as he explains how he and the other artists researched and conceptualized the massive wooden, surreal melding of Inquisition torture machines with contemporary exercise equipment. How much can you take, the piece asks.

From magical consumer fantasies to darkly philosophical ruminations, Okay Mountain will massage your mind with threatening illumination.

Okay Mountain Free • Through March 20 The Cress Gallery of Art UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 304-9789 cressgallery.org

Arts & Entertainment Thur 02.23 “History Makers” 10 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 Brown Bag Dances Noon. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207 chattanoogastate.edu Break out the Bubbly: Sparkling Wine Tasting 6 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com The Gibson Brothers 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org John Reep 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Fri 02.24 Houston Museum Antiques Show & Sale 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. 1-800-872-2529 choochoo.com.

Tri-State Home Show 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Jericho Brass Band 7 p.m. North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Drive 102. (423) 870-8924 “Seussical Jr.” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “The Butler Did It … Again!”

8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, Signal Mtn. smph.org “Actors’ Anonymous” 8 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org.

Lewis Black 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050. chattanooga.gov “Mystery at the Redneck Italian Wedding” 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Brad Brake and Mia Jackson 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Garden Startup 8 a.m. Crabtree Farms, 1000 East 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281

Sat 02.25 Scenic City Half Marathon 8 a.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. (423) 842-6265 chattanoogatrackclub.org “Actors’ Anonymous” 2:30 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org “Seussical Jr.” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Denim and Diamonds 7 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 John Reep 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “The Butler Did It…Again!”

8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way,

Signal Mtn. smph.org Rebecca Furiosa 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com

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“Seussical Jr.” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Basically Baroque 3 p.m. The Sheraton Read House Hotel, 827 Broad St. (423) 266-4121

Mon 02.27 Origins of AfricanAmerican Pottery 6 p.m. EAC Pottery Studio, 3202 Kelly’s Ferry Road (423) 821-9631

Tue 02.28 “Silver Wings & Civil Rights: The Fight to Fly” 7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. chattanooga.gov “Diavolo” 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. utc.edu/music Rebecca Furiosa 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

Wed 02.29 Swing Dance Classes 7 p.m. Shirley’s Dance Club, 8133 East Brainerd Road (423) 855-1368

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

Food&Drink

DINING OUT CHATTANOOGA

At GollyWhoppers, Bigger is Better

By D.E. Langley

fourteen years ago, dave and durene hendrix opened a small sandwich shop in the Brainerd Hills Center.

They soon realized that their delicious food and oversized portions were going to draw more patrons than their storefront could handle. They quickly moved to a larger space in the same shopping center.

That was their only move, but they’ve expanded twice since, and recently remodeled.

Regulars flood the store during lunch, seeking their unique brand of deli offerings, and luckily, GollyWhoppers has been able to keep up with the demand, thanks in large part to those expansions and their spacious parking lot.

So what is it that brings so many folks in? It’s honestly hard to pin down—their menu is so huge that attempting to attribute it to a particular item would be an exercise in futility.

Obviously, the sandwiches are a huge draw.

Available on your choice of four freshly baked breads (French, Cracked Wheat, Rye, or Pumpernickel), with all

GollyWhoppers Sandwich Shoppe 6337 East Brainerd Road Monday-Friday: 11 a.m.-8 p.m., Saturday: 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Sunday: 11 a.m.-3 p.m.

(423) 855-2001 gollwhopperstn.com

18 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

manner of toppings, the twelve options run the gamut from pastrami to pimento cheese to barbecue pork. If you can’t decide on one (and you’ve got company), “The GollyWhopper” might just be your best option—it comes with five meats and four cheeses!

The choices don’t stop there— six varieties of salads are on offer, and if you’ve got time to sit down to eat, they have a full salad bar. Their gargantuan baked potatoes (over a pound each, even before they’re topped) are another favorite, and the soups are always a draw. Chili is always on the menu, along with two other options that change daily.

Dessert is not to be missed, either. A display case chock-full of homemade treats both familiar and novel beckons—Lemon Squares and German Chocolate Bars share space with Diddly Doo Wop and Pretzel K. (You’ll have to visit yourself to find out what all these concoctions are!)

Fridays offer a few special treats. The staff bake up fresh croissants, offering you the option of having your sandwich on a light, fluffy base. The classic Waldorf salad also joins the menu. Lastly, one of the soups of the day is always their acclaimed Taco Soup for the end of the workweek.

Since I was trying a few things, I opted for smaller portions. I was still blown away by the sizes. The Mini Taco Salad could have been a meal unto itself. Ringed with tortilla chips that also serve as its base, it was piled high with lettuce, taco meat, cheese, tomato, onion, black olives, and jalapeños, topped with generous portions

of sour cream and salsa. There was just the right amount of meat to still be able to call it a salad, but it could have served as an entree if I hadn’t skipped breakfast.

Next up I had a half sandwich of roast beef on French bread, served warm. It was equally as large, and my stomach balked at the thought of finishing both, despite the delicious flavors.

The meat and toppings were fresh, and the bread was crusty and soft on the inside. It was certainly a sandwich I don’t think you can find the likes of anywhere else in Chattanooga.

Thankfully, you don’t have to tackle a whole portion of the desserts if you want to treat your sweet tooth. Each of their

bars is available in bite-sized portions for only 99 cents! I grabbed a taste of the Cheesecake Brownie and the Peanut Butter Chocolate Swirl. The brownie was soft, creamy, and incredibly rich. The peanut butter bar is probably best described as a cross between peanut butter pie and a candy bar.

Both were incredible, and the perfect end to my savory meal.

Stopping in for lunch isn’t your only option. GollyWhoppers is open through dinner on weeknights, and they also offer catering for groups of any size!

Regardless of when or where you get a taste, there’s one thing you should definitely not forget if GollyWhoppers is on the menu —a big appetite!

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Free Will Astrology ARIES

(March 21-April 19): I invite you to identify all the things in your life that you really don’t need any more: gadgets that have become outdated, clothes that no longer feel like you, once-exciting music and books and art works that no longer mean what they once did. Don’t stop there. Pinpoint the people who have let you down, the places that lower your vitality, and the activities that have become boring or artificial. Finally, Aries, figure out the traditions that no longer move you, the behavior patterns that no longer serve you, and the compulsive thoughts that have a freaky life of their own. Got all that? Dump at least some of them.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you’re a woman, you could go to the perfume section of the department store and buy fragrances that would cause you to smell like Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Eva Longoria, or Paris Hilton.

If you’re a man, an hour from now you could be beaming an aroma that makes you resemble a celebrity like Antonio Banderas, Usher, David Beckham, or Keith Urban. You could even mix and match, wearing the Eva Longoria scent on your manly body or Usher on your female form. But I don’t recommend that you do any of the above. More than ever before you need to be yourself, your whole self, and nothing but yourself. Trying to act like or be like anyone else should be a taboo of the first degree.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I try to take one day at a time,” says Ashleigh Brilliant, “but sometimes several days attack me all at once.” I think you may soon be able to say words to that effect, Gemini—and that’s a good thing. Life will seem more concentrated and meaningful than usual. Events will flow faster and your awareness will be extra intense. As a result, you should have exceptional power to unleash transformations that could create ripples lasting for months. Would you like each day to be the equivalent of nine days? Or would four be enough for you?

20 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

CANCER (June 21-July 22): When actor Ashton Kutcher is working on the set of the TV show “Two and a Half Men,” he enjoys spacious digs. His trailer is two stories high and has two bathrooms as well as a full kitchen. Seven 60-inch TVs are available for his viewing pleasure. As you embark on your journey to the far side of reality, Cancerian, it might be tempting for you to try to match that level of comfort. But what’s more important than material luxury will be psychological and spiritual aids that help keep you attuned to your deepest understandings about life. Be sure you’re well-stocked with influences that keep your imagination vital and upbeat.

Favorite symbols? Uplifting books? Photos of mentors?

Magic objects?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Veter-

ans of war who’ve been wounded by shrapnel often find that years later, some of the metal fragments eventually migrate to the surface and pop out of their skin. The moral of the story: The body may take a long time to purify itself of toxins. The same is true about your psyche. It might not be able to easily and quickly get rid of the poisons it has absorbed, but you should never give up hoping it will find a way. Judging by the astrological omens, I think you are very close to such a climactic cleansing and catharsis, Leo.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Distilled water is a poor conductor of electricity. For H2O to have electroconductivity, it must contain impurities in the form of dissolved salts. I see a timely lesson in this for you, Virgo. If you focus too hard on being utterly clean and clear, some of life’s rather chaotic but fertile and invigorating energy may not be able to flow through you. That’s why I suggest you experiment with being at least a little impure and imperfect.

Don’t just tolerate the messiness. Learn from it; thrive on it; even exult in it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are neither in a red-alert situation nor are you headed for one. A pink

alert may be in effect, however.

Thankfully, there’s no danger or emergency in the works.

Shouting and bolting and leaping won’t be necessary. Rather, you may simply be called upon to come up with unexpected responses to unpredicted circumstances. Unscripted plot twists could prompt you to take actions you haven’t rehearsed.

It actually might be kind of fun as long as you play with the perspective Shakespeare articulated in As You Like It: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Dear Rob: For months I’ve had a recurring dream in which I own a pet snake. Here’s the problem: The only cage I have to keep the snake in is sadly inadequate. It has widely spaced bars that the snake just slips right through. In the dream I am constantly struggling to keep the snake in its cage, which is exhausting, since it’s impossible. Just this morning, after having the dream for the billionth time, I FINALLY asked myself, what’s so terrible about letting the snake out of its cage? So I gratefully wrote myself this permission note: ‘It is hereby allowed and perfectly acceptable to let my dreamsnake out of its cage to wander freely.’ - Scorpio Devotee.” Dear Devotee: You have provided all your fellow Scorpios with an excellent teaching story for the upcoming weeks. Thank you!

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For millions of years, black kite raptors made their nests with leaves, twigs, grass, mud, fur, and feathers.

In recent centuries they have also borrowed materials from humans, like cloth, string, and paper. And in the last few decades, a new element has become quite popular. Eighty-two percent of all black kite nestbuilders now use white plastic as decoration. I suggest you take inspiration from these adaptable creatures, Sagittarius. It’s an excellent time for you to add some wrinkles to the way you shape your home base.

Departing from tradition could add significantly to your levels of domestic bliss.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): There are many examples of highly accomplished people whose early education was problematical. Thomas Edison’s first teacher called him “addled,” and thereafter he was homeschooled by his mother.

Winston Churchill did so poorly in school he was punished.

Benjamin Franklin had just two years of formal education. As for Einstein, he told his biographer, “my parents were worried because I started to talk comparatively late, and they consulted a doctor because of it.” What all these people had in common, however, is that they became brilliant at educating themselves according to their own specific needs and timetable. Speaking of which: The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you Capricorns to plot and design the contours of your future learning.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20Feb. 18): Nigeria has abundant deposits of petroleum. Since 1974, oil companies have paid the country billions of dollars for the privilege of extracting its treasure. And yet the majority of Nigerians, over 70 percent, live on less than a dollar a day. Where does the money go? That’s a long story, with the word “corruption” at its heart.

Now let me ask you, Aquarius: Is there a gap between the valuable things you have to offer and the rewards you receive for them? Are you being properly compensated for your natural riches? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to address this issue.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

Gawker.com notes that American politician John McCain tends to repeat himself—a lot.

Researchers discovered that he has told the same joke at least 27 times in five years. (And it’s such a feeble joke, it’s not worth re-telling.) In the coming week, Pisces, please please please avoid any behavior that resembles this repetitive, habit-bound laziness. You simply cannot afford to be imitating who you used to be and what you used to do. As much as possible, reinvent yourself from scratch—and have maximum fun doing it.

Jonesin’ Crossword

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600 words Third Annual Short Story Contest “Chattanooga Stories” For our Third Annual Story Contest, aka “600 Words,” we introduce the theme “Chattanooga Stories.” In 600 words, tell a story about our town—a distant memory, a recent event or encounter, for example—and submit it by email only (along with your contact information) no later than Thursday, March 22, 2012, to:

creative@chattanoogapulse Subject: Short Story Contest More details next week. Issue: April 5, 2012

“Going Negative”—totally in denial.

Across

1. Stations in some labs 4. “Mama’s Gun” singer Erykah 8. U.S. Surgeon General under Reagan 12. “Play something better!”

13. Prized cards, to collectors 14. Polite refusal 15. Tip collector 16. Spoiler in a familiar saying 18. “Oh 7, why’d you have to go and eat 9?

And 6, did you help 7 out of fear? I’m shocked!”

20. Swamp beast 21. National chain of “bakery-cafes” 22. Caprice 23. Big cheese in Holland 27. Bodily sac 28. “I can see you on a cold day and you’re like a cloud...I’m impressed...”

32. Twisted, like a smile 33. Falls on many honeymoon trips 34. Rum ___ Tugger (47-down character)

37. “Hmmm...I’m stumped as to how you landed a role on ‘The Addams Family’...”

39. Without leaves 42. Those ladies, in Tijuana 43. Radio choices 44. GM service 47. Chaz’s mother 48. “Oh yeah, like I’d ever see a guy with a ruffled shirt and heaving chest in real life...”

53. Ad line spoken while grabbing a box of cereal back 54. ___ Lingus (Irish airline) 56. Year, to Yvette 57. 1970s model Cheryl 58. Wu-Tang Clan member 59. Suffix after Brooklyn 60. Lat. and Lith., once 61. Drops in a field

DOWN

1. Simple sammich 2. One of a pair of newscasters 3. Group of sisters 4. ___ mi (Vietnamese sandwich) 5. Vicinity

6. Red ink 7. Mil. branch at Lackland 8. It’ll floor ya 9. Hawk relative 10. Canadian NHL team 11. Test in H.S. 13. Campus recruiting org.

14. Serpent deity group, in Hinduism (in RUN AGAINST) 17. Quick swim 19. Grave marker 22. Dir. opposite ESE 23. Do some video production 24. Early info-sorting program 25. Mythical giant with 100 eyes 26. Ben Stiller’s mom Anne ___ 29. “Would You Like to Buy ___?” (“Sesame Street” song) 30. Greek war god 31. Body art, for short

34. It’s swiped to check in 35. Command in some games of tag 36. “North by Northwest” film studio 37. Stinging herbs 38. Mayor of Los Angeles, 2001-2005 39. Meticulouslytrimmed tree 40. Name 41. They’re given in the “Wheel of Fortune” bonus round 45. “Ellen” actor ___ Gross 46. Czech play where the word “robot” came from 47. It left Broadway on Sept. 10, 2000 49. Has dinner 50. Diamondback stats 51. Host Ken of MTV’s “Remote Control” 52. Russian fighter jets 55. Like some sugar

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Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0560. chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

Want Fries With That? since i was a kid my favorite “vegetable” has always been the crispy goodness of deep fried potatoes. In fact, French fries must be everyone’s favorite since they’ve remained the sidecar of burgers, hot dogs, chicken chunks and every other kind of fast food entrée since Ronald first lit up the golden arches back in the 1950s.

“You want fries with that?” has been the go-to up-sell suggestion since the dawn of drivethru windows. Who wouldn’t want the tasty treat of crispy golden potato sticks to go with their juicy hot meat stuffs? Nobody. So the top brass at one of the major quick-service players decided it was time to save customers the trouble of choice (and a few cents) by getting them to spend two more dollars on a pre-packaged “value meal” that automatically included fries and a drink with their entrée.

The advent of the value meal—most likely the cousin of McDonald’s kid-friendly “Happy Meal”—changed fast food forever. It increased average sales to upwards of four or five bucks and offered hungry hamburglers the convenience of ordering an entire meal with a single number. However, ways of further increasing profit margins on these cash-flow combos over the years has resulted in lackluster “enhancements” in our nation’s favorite starch.

Despite our limited knowledge of the rest of the world, we Americans know where French fries were invented. France, right? Wrong. The origins of fries date back to 1700s Belgium. But when they were first served to Thomas Jefferson at the White House in 1802, the strips of raw potato were dropped into boiling oil by a French chef, so there. Of course, in France, fries are referred to as “pommes frites.” Go figure.

Our disgust with France for not wanting to help us bomb the hell out of Iraq in 2003 caused

“

Much like the music industry, French fry test kitchens seemed to lose their way in the ’90s. Seasoning salts, new coatings, curly configurations and other flashin-the-pan enhancements further threatened to detract from their undeniable appeal.

22 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 23-29, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

congressional action to replace the “French” prefix of fries and toast options in cafeterias at the capitol with the rebel-rousing, “we’ll show them” prefix of “Freedom.” That decree was later reversed when fast food lobbyists convinced renegade congresspeople that the cost of carrying out this change across America would amount to billions and confuse an already slow-witted customer base.

Up until the year of my birth, 1967, French fries enjoyed at fast food establishments were cut fresh from actual potatoes at the restaurant level by the same type of pimply-faced teenager who now just cuts open a bag of frozen potatoes and dumps them into the fryer. You can thank Ray Kroc for that one.

McDonald’s and its competitors spent the 1970s and ’80s one-upping each other with ongoing improvements in taste, texture and quality in order to claim the elusive “world’s best fries” label. I remember as a teenager, and even as a kid, carefully choosing fast food cuisine options based on which outlet was currently serving what my friends and I considered to be the finest pommes frites.

But much like the music industry, French fry test kitchens seemed to lose their way in the ’90s. Seasoning salts, new coatings, curly configurations and other flash-in-the-pan enhancements further threatened to detract from their undeniable appeal. In fact, I became much more picky and would even forego “fries with that” at establishments peddling lackluster sliced spuds.

My brother switched almost exclusively to tater tots. I can’t say that I blame him. Tots possess an indescribable taste and texture, but I’ll try to explain.

As one’s teeth tenderly clamp down on a tot’s golden outer

shell a slight crunch enables the palette to enjoy the gently flashfried potato meat inside. My brother’s newfound enthusiasm for tots not only made them a staple for him and his young daughter, but also inspired him to leave a spontaneous fiveminute message on Ore-Ida’s corporate headquarters’ answering machine during their 40th anniversary celebration.

His passionate plea earned him a 40-month supply.

Me, I took myself off the grid.

I curtailed my penchant for the siren song of the value meal and began ordering entrée’s and sodas separately from their virtually cost-free French fry

companion. It was my way of protesting what had happened to my beloved fries (and a good way to shed some unwanted pounds likely caused by them in the first place).

Even today, I limit my French fry intake to the meaty-rich taste of my all-time favorite variety—the crinkle cut. But finding these treats means purchasing meals from the slim network of mom-and-pop greasy spoons with the fortitude to honor their superior succulence. Thank you Nick Bowers, and old-school establishments like the Pickle Barrel, for keeping it real with the only “real” French fry out there.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about.

Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Wine Week is coming!

This Spring, The Pulse introduces Wine: oh! Yes!, a special wine-focused section coming March 22, 2012.

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chattanoogapulse.com • february 23-29, 2012 • The Pulse • 23