The Pulse 12.24 » June 11, 2015

june 11, 2015

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

violence reduction

turning the tide

how law enforcement is making a Difference in the city

By Louis Lee

music

genki

2

time to panic

theater

screen

one weird play

sensitive hardy

4 names

madding

2 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Contents

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

June 11, 2015 Volume 12, Issue 24

Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Louis Lee • Mike McJunkin • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Rachael Poe • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Ashley Coker • Shaun Webster

Features

Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

4 BEGINNINGS: Always great music at Bonnaroo, and even more art and comedy.

Cover Photo Carl Ballou

6 SHADES OF GREEN: Our ‘green’ expert compares the bridge between Asia and Europe to us.

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Randy Johnston Angela Lanham • Rick Leavell Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2015 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

8

We Are Not Ferguson or Baltimore

Last year around this time, The Pulse introduced you to a young-ish, blue-eyed career lawman wearing comfortable shoes with which he planned to hit the ground running. Perhpas no one knew at the time how apt that analogy would be.

12

The Horror of Surfboards

I love music. I love playing music, I love writing about music.

I have the best job in the world as far as I’m concerned. Doing what I do, I get to hear some truly amazing stuff.

20

They Are Not A Seagull…

Scott Dunlap didn’t intend to see the New York production of Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. “We’d gone to New York to see Giant at the Public,” he explains, “…during Hurricane Sandy. There was no power. We were standing in line at the TKTS booth to see something else, and I thought, ‘I don’t know, Christopher Durang, it’ll be weird and he hates Catholicism’.”

14 MUSIC CALENDAR 16 REVIEWS: Melt-Banana back with more brain-thrash, Tal National gets precise and tight.

19 SUSHI & BISCUITS: Venturing into eating territory few have explored.

22 ARTS CALENDAR 25 DIVERSIONS 26 SCREEN: “Far From the Madding Crowd” is sensitive Hardy adaptation.

28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 on the beat: Officer Alex’s tales of a certain festival down by the river.

ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.

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news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Bonnaroovians, Rejoice. It’s Time Again.

Always great music and this year, even more art and comedy

“

The center of this area will be home to an interesting installation entitled the ‘Portal-potty’.”

Summer’s almost (officially) here, festival season is in full swing, and for many that means a trip to Manchester for the 14th annual Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. For four days the 700-acre farm, now known as Great Stage Park, will host our region’s biggest party of the year.

Imagine a population equivalent to that of a small city camping together around multiple stages on which a bunch of awesome bands are performing, and that will give you an idea of what this event is like.

A few of the artists featured this year are Billy Joel, Mumford & Sons, Ken-

drick Lamar, DEADMAU5, Florence and the Machine, My Morning Jacket, Robert Plant and the Sensational Space Shifters, Bassnectar, Flume, Hozier, Slayer, Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals, Flying Lotus, STS9, Belle and Sebastian, Ben Folds, Tears For Fears, Alabama Shakes, Spoon, Childish Gambino, and Bela Fleck & Abigail Washburn.

Installation sculptures will be put up by David Korins Design, a firm out of New tony mraz York City that works in theater, opera, film, TV, music, and festivals. Korins’s festival designs are futuristic, electric, and whimsical, adding a sense of other-worldliness to the environment. Visitors to last year’s Bonnaroo might remember his psychedelic LED clock tower that dominated “Centeroo,” the festival’s main crossroads area.

Centeroo is home to a slew of vendors, food and beverage merchants, and interesting environments like the Fountain, a mini-water park where overheated festival-goers can splash around and cool off.

This year’s Fountain artist is Andrea von Bujdoss, aka Queen Andrea, a New York-based designer, illustrator, and graffiti artist whose bright neon murals are characterized by geometric shapes and graffiti writing. See her art at the start of the first-ever Roo Art Walk, led by Bonnaroo’s head of visual design Russ Bennett from the Fountain on Thursday at 4 p.m.

Diehard festival goers (known as “Bonnaroovians”) have a long-standing tradition of

Rave

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having wacky-themed parades and costume parties, and you never really know when a glow stick war will break out. The festival will host two Art Cars, “Big Red” and “Mirage,” which will be roaming around the farm causing random dance parties.

New this year is “The Grove,” a patch of forest in the campgrounds equipped with hanging hammocks, soundscapes, and a color string installation. The center of this area will be home to an interesting installation entitled the “Portal-potty,” 16 porta-potties gutted and laid out in a ring. At times, the doors will be unlocked for people to enter into a performance space where they can experience intimate performances by magicians, musicians, and other surprises.

A star-studded lineup of comedians, including Ralphie May, Chris Hardwick, Reggie Watts, Jeff Ross, Ari Shaffer, Nick Thune and Natasha Leggero, will be cracking jokes at the Comedy Tent. With this much talent and entertainment in one place, the biggest problem to expect at this year’s Bonnaroo is the sometimes-awful task of having to choose what to do. For more info, visit bonnaroo.com

WANT A F RE

EdiToon

Dwight Morgan Brent Morgan

Mozart Meets Star Trek in Operatic Mashup For two more weekends Scenic City Opera will boldly go where no production has gone before and bring together the contrasting worlds of opera and “Star Trek.”

This galactic version of “Abduction From The Seraglio” is the brainchild of Laura Sage, who ran The Lyric Opera of Los Angeles for 12 years before moving to Chattanooga. The show features the music of Wolfgang Amadeus

Mozart, translated into English by director Josh Shaw, and the concept is based on a rescue mission of the girlfriends of three enslaved Starship Enterprise crewmembers.

Trekkies have lots of reasons to smile with Vulcans, Klingons, Enterprise characters and authentic costumes and sets all featured. (Come in costume and get $5 off admission.) This seemingly absurd marriage of two

IN THIS ISSUE

Louis Lee Our cover story this week on the state of violence in the city is

by Louis Lee, who has been involved in journalism dating back to his days on the high school newspaper staff. After a stint in the U.S. Navy, he worked for a weekly newspaper in Baton Rouge, then returned

worlds is an attempt to give traditional opera a facelift, and draw in a new wave of fans, including sci-fi fanatics and others who may be looking for something different…and I do mean different.

“It’s the perfect mash-up of the two genres, and is seriously roll-on-thefloor, laugh-out-loud funny,” Sage comments. “Even if you aren’t a Trekkie, you’re going to be laughing at the antics. And if you’re already an opera lover, it’s a whole new take on an opera you’ve probably seen a jillion times.”

— Shaun Webster

E RIDE 

by Rob Rogers

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Rachael Poe to college for formal training in television news. He came to the Tennessee Valley in 1991 to work for WDEF-TV as a video-journalist, a reporter who shoots his own stories. While working in the media and raising a family, Louis gave back to his community by volunteering as a reserve deputy sheriff in Bradley County. Louis is now an award-winning documentary filmmaker and freelance journalist.

Rachael Poe has written on a wide variety of topics for The Pulse.

A writer, photographer, and unabashed Tolkien fanatic, she graduated from The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with a major in English literature and a minor in art history. She was

a co-editor of the National Collegiate Honors Council monograph entitled “Housing Honors” and a copyeditor for The Heroic Age, an academic journal about early medieval Northwestern Europe. In her spare time, she continues to explore her new home in Nashville while still keeping in touch with her Chattanooga roots. Oh, and she once accidentally attended a Spanish wedding in Seville.

But that’s a different story.

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chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 5

Walking And Talking Turkey Our ‘green’ expert compares the bridge between Asia and Europe to the U.S.

“

Turkish citizens living along coastlines have added on to new construction with solar batch water heaters perched on every roof.”

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute.

Visit her website at enviroedu.net

Whenever you go to a docia’s lunar-like landscape, foreign country, you ineviearly inhabitants carved viltably make comparisons. lages from volcanic ash.

After all, the U.S. is excepThis young democratic tional, right? Superiority republic, formed in 1923 by verification is needed. For the revered Ataturk, is still this column, searching for developing, but removing how others measure up on religious control from govenvironmental, ecosystem, ernment has helped Turkey and energy thrive. Isissues is tanbul busShades of Green tles with required.

Since I’m numerous SANDRA KURTZ just back small shop from Turowners, but key, I’ll present my observaurban sprawl and deforestions/comparisons in these tation are environmental areas. problems. In 15 years, IsFirst, Turkey sighttanbul’s population doubled ings not seen in Tennesto 20 million. Consequently, see: Minarets everywhere. high-rise home construction We dubbed them “singing is extensive. Mass transit rockets,” sending out daily exists, but cars and manumusical prayer calls. Also, facturing contribute to air Italian cypress trees, marand water pollution. ble mountains, volcanoes, Turkey has diverse eco3,000-year-old ruins in citsystems. Rugged mounies amid houses and stores, tains, windswept grasslands, sheep and goat herds, and coastal habitats support farm fields without fences, trout, sea bass, lynx, jackal, storks, ancient Roman and brown bear, boar, fox, ibex, Greek statues, sultans’ paland goats as well as shore, aces, groves of olive, pomefield, and upland bird spegranate and fig trees, white cies. Lizards and feral cats poppy fields, underground frequent old ruins. The cities, a pink bacteria lake, Taurus Frog is endangered. and seas. Did you know that The hoopoe bird is stuntulips are native to Turkey, ningly beautiful. A mamnot Holland? moth reforestation project Geologically speaking, in is underway preserving habTurkey, tectonic plates still itat and curbing erosion and cause earthquakes, volcanic degradation. Although most eruptions, and recrystallized Turkish citizens are seemlimestone. Water and wind ingly indifferent about clicontribute to rugged termate change, tree planting rain, and erosion. In Cappahelps. Also, your hotel key

6 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

card, when removed from a room slot, turns all the electricity off. There are motion lights in all the hallways, too, which are real energy savers.

Much land is very fertile.

Pesticide use is rising, but it is still lower than in most countries. Of course, the Mediterranean diet, which Turkey epouses, is known to be the healthiest. Fresh fruits and vegetables are mainstays, along with hot tea ready at every meal. Intriguing spices, toppings, eggplant dishes, cheeses, olives, and yogurts are usual offerings. Lentil soup, lamb kebobs and fresh fish are tasty. Colorful food markets line city streets. Most food is locally produced, helping prevent air pollution from transportation fuel use.

Speaking of transportation, roads are good. If you stop to refuel, you’ll find fast healthy cafeteria food—unlike ours.

For electricity, Turkey still relies on fossil fuels.

Hydroelectric dams are being built, altering habitat, but this is better than other choices. Construction of a first nuclear plant is un-

derway. Fortunately, Turkish citizens living along coastlines have added on to new construction with solar batch water heaters perched on every roof. Mountainous areas sport windmills, while volcanoes support geothermal plants. Electricity costs about $.08/kilowatt hour to our $.10.

In many ways, Turkey feels like the U.S.—only better. It appears we are behind in alternative energy use. Infant mortality is lower in Turkey. There is too much over-consumerism—but unemployment is lower. Cottage industries allow workers to stay home, producing beautiful textiles, rugs, crafts, and agricultural products such as pine nuts. I saw no beggars or homeless. There is health care and education for all. Healthy food for the poor is available. Litter is hard to find. Recycling receptacles are numerous.

Conclusion: The U.S. clearly lacks green superiority with more work required. However, there’s nothing as good as a Tennessee homegrown tomato!

In that, we are exceptional!

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chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 7

COVER STORY

Ferguson, Baltimore…

But Not Chattanooga?

Police Chief Fred Fletcher explains why it doesn’t have to happen here Story and photos by Louis Lee

“

I think it’s the antidote to most of the criticisms other departments have had about oppressive tactics like ‘stop-and-frisk’ and oversaturations and over-policing,” Fletcher explains about Focused Deterrence.

L

ast year around this time, The Pulse introduced you to a young-ish, blueeyed career lawman wearing comfortable shoes with which he planned to hit the ground running. Perhpas no one knew at the time how apt that analogy would be. Chief Fred Fletcher not only runs the Chattanooga Police Department, he runs marathons and rides bikes, and visits the neighborhoods he and his officers are sworn to protect.

Those communities have seen much transpire over the last 12 months. Despite the appearance of an uptick in violence, the numbers actually reflect the opposite. Seemingly every day the news media report another shooting or other violent crime being committed in our city. Yet, year-to-date, compared with 2014, shootings are down more than 15 percent. When you factor in the involvement of known gang members, the percentage goes up. Property crimes are down 8 percent and robberies decreased by 18 percent.

Overall, total crime is 7.4 percent behind last year’s numbers.

The real story here is when you get behind the numbers and look into why Chattanooga is becoming a safer place to live. “I just try to get to know everybody as much as I can,” explains Captain Brian Cotter during a recent ride-along. “Once you get to know people, they point out who the trouble-makers are.” In that one sentence, Cotter succinctly explains the premise of “Community Policing,” one of the three “pillars” of Chief Fletcher’s approach to fighting crime. “It used to be, you came through [Wilson Street] there was somebody standing on every other

8 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

street corner slinging dope,” Cotter admits. “Now at least they know they have to hide it.” While on the surface that may not sound like a rousing success story, it’s an indication that the criminal element is on alert that police will not stand for brazen acts that offend the general public.

“For the last several months and going forward, every morning we run a report of shots-fired calls from the night before,” says Fletcher. “And the next day we expect patrol officers to go out to the neighborhoods where those shots were fired, get out of their cars and engage community members.” Fletcher explains that this lets the public know the officers are aware of the problem and gives residents an opportunity to give police information which may help in locating the offenders. Fletcher says the preponderance of information coming in from citizens is helping law enforcement piece together patterns and make more effective arrests.

It’s a policy and way of doing business that the rank and file cop on the beat can get behind…now. “I think when the officers see it’s important to the boss, some of them that were kind of on the fence, not re-

ally into it, will get that nudge to start doing something,” confesses Cotter. He says once the officers start interacting more with the public, they actually like it. This old Andy Taylor-style of police work may seem low tech, but it actually falls under the moniker “Intelligence-Led Policing,” the second pillar of Fletcher’s crimefighting philosophy. That’s because the officers now turn in all the information they gather on the streets and a team of highlyskilled analysts comb through the data and find patterns in the chaos.

This leads to a more focused approach to getting the bad guys, which brings us to Fletcher’s third pillar, “Focused Deterrence.”

“I think it’s the antidote to most of the criticisms other departments have had about oppressive tactics like ‘stop-and-frisk’ and over-saturations and over-policing,” Fletcher explains about Focused Deterrence. “You give me enough cops in a small enough area and I can eliminate all crime. But you also cause other problems,” the chief explains. “What’s the old saying, ‘an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind?’” The chief is talking

about officers being more selective in the actions they take. Instead of sweeping dragnets that often pull in innocent (or less-than-guilty) participants, his officers use information to find the main offenders and get them off the streets. But don’t think law enforcement is going soft.

“There’s a lot of enforcement.

It’s not a touchy-feely effort,” says Fletcher, emphatically making a point. “When we think you are a gang or group member who endangers our community, we’re going to do everything we can to get you off the street.” And yet the CPD is doing that all while making fewer arrests. Overall, arrests are down 20 percent in the city. Chattanooga has an arrest rate about half of comparable cities in Tennessee.

Fletcher gives the example that if a large “bust” happens to net a few individuals who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, it could start a chain reaction. “That person is now in jail. He misses work, loses his job, now they’re not able to make child support payments…you can see where this is going,” says Fletcher.

“We have police officers who

were social workers, liberal arts majors, that are pastors, that were missionaries, that come from a background of truly wanting to serve their community,” boasts Fletcher. He says his officers really care about doing their job in an effective manner that puts the least amount of stress on the general populace.

“Today I’m proud to say that we haven’t had a Ferguson,” says James Moreland, an East Chattanooga resident, implying there’s no animosity toward police. “We haven’t had a Baltimore. And I think a lot of work goes into it.”

Sitting on his front porch with a view of Lookout Mountain, Moreland sweeps his hand across the air as if to flamboyantly introduce me to his neighborhood. “[Chief Fletcher] is doing a good job pushing and encouraging his officers to learn how to work in partnership with the community.”

That word “partnership” comes up a lot when talking to the chief as well. When the subject of Ferguson or Baltimore comes up, he educates you on how planning can prevent these scenarios. “When

(left) Lt. Bakari Welles works on covering up gang-related graffiti. (right) Officer Clay Palmer shows off his motorcycle to neighborhood children.

“

The key to not being a ‘Ferguson’ is to not respond, but to be proactive and develop relationships and the philosophies and the programs before those issues arise in your community.”

>> Continued on page 11 chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 9

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10 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

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A AD DV V EE R R TT O OR R II A A LL

you respond to something, it looks like a Band-Aid,” Fletcher explains, “When you create something, a relationship, a program, a philosophy, when you don’t need to do it, people accept it as something that’s good on its own merit.

The key to not being a ‘Ferguson’ is to not respond, but to be proactive and develop relationships and the philosophies and the programs before those issues arise in your community.”

Back in July 2009, Chattanoogans were “reacting” to a disturbing scene. Six Chattanooga police officers arrived on the scene to find a man holding a rifle to his chin, threatening suicide. Friends and relatives of the man tried for hours to get him to put the gun down. A street sweeper saw the man walking around the neighborhood with the weapon and called police. Within five minutes of their arrival, the six officers fired 59 bullets from a distance of between 10 and 15 feet, hitting Alonzo Heyward 43 times. The incident created a firestorm of controversy, involving everyone from politicians to civil rights groups to aver-

age citizens asking why such force was needed. Lessons learned from the resulting investigation were implemented in future training for all officers.

While this was long before Fletcher came to town, the chief explains an analogy he often uses in which he brings a plate into a room and proceeds to tell the people in the room the “history” of the plate and how it is a family heirloom, passed down through the generations—then he smashes it with a hammer. He hands the group the pieces, along with glue and tape and asks them to put it back together. Of course the result is less than perfect, which is what leads Fletcher to the moral of the story: “You can rebuild trust, but it’ll never look the same, it will never work the same, it will be a lesser version of what it was.”

The CPD is still putting that plate back together, and there’s still much work to be done, but progress is being made. Take, for example, a recent home invasion.

“Officers responded to a home invasion/burglary in progress,” details Fletcher. “The homeowner

had fired shots at the bad guy, bad guy is running, police officers are chasing him, officers see the bad guy with a gun.” The chief pauses for effect. “They take him into custody with no use of force.”

He goes on to illustrate how officers in his command are using discretion in their use of force.

“In 2014, my officers took 702 guns off the street,” he recounts.

“They put themselves between community and a gun to get it off the streets. Seven hundred and two times without the use of deadly force.”

Is that alone going to completely fix trust issues between the public and the law? Only time will tell.

The chief refers to a poster concerning Ultra Running that says “Relentless Forward Progress.”

“I run these stupid races,” says Fletcher, laughing, “50 miles, 100 K's…and people ask me how to run a 50-mile race. I say ‘You don’t. You run 50 one-mile races.’

And the key to doing them is just always keep moving.”

It looks like the chief is planning on putting a lot more mileage on those comfortable shoes.

(l to r) James Moreland and Captain Brian Cotter.

“

It’s not a touchy-feely effort, When we think you are a gang or group member who endangers our community, we’re going to do everything we can to get you off the street.”

chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 11

MUSIC SCENE

The Horror, The Horror… of Surfboards Shabti

Psyched For This Trippy Rager Progressive jam bands play Rhythm & Brews Saturday Traffic will soon go from really terrible back to just a little terrible, and you will know that Chattanooga has bid ado to another year of Riverbend’s long days and longer lines.

The music doesn’t have to stop when the stages come down, though.

Everyone knows the most important party is the after-party, and Rhythm & Brews has a killer show lined up.

Psychedelic rockers Shabti and Agori Tribe will take over the venue’s small but well-respected stage Saturday night.

Shabti seamlessly melds the sounds of rock and blues in a way that will surprise even the most seasoned of the genre’s fans. They are joined later by Agori Tribe, whose

trippy tunes and well-curated setlists can only be described as an acid trip sans acid.

Whether you decided to forgo Riverbend’s outdoor venues and overheated crowds or you just aren’t ready to stop the party yet, Shabti and Agori Tribe will give you a show that’s easy to love and hard to forget.

After all, there’s only one way to get a festival out of your system—with a rager.

— Ashley Coker Shabti, Agori Tribe Saturday, 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

thu6.11

fri6.12

SAT6.13

americana folk

the piano man

market music

Tab Spencer

Steven Mullan

Jennifer Daniels

A combination of Americana and neo-folk music with lyrics set in a thoroughly modern setting, featuring Garrett Bourdon and Jack Kirton with musical friends.

8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. (423) 266-3366

Nashville-based singersongwriter tickles the ivories with original tunes influenced by acts as diverse as Dr. John, Jamiroquai, Michael Jackson and The Beatles.

9 p.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. worldofbeer.com

A voice of an angel and the sensibility of a troubadour, Jennifer has been telling musical tales of life, love and all points in between to appreciative audiences for years.

12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com

12 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Genki Genki Panic is wicked instrumental fun with masks

I

love music. I love playing music, I love writing about music. I have the best job in the world as far as I’m concerned. Doing what I do, I get to hear some truly amazing stuff.

I have yet to review a band whose music didn’t have some unique quality, something original to that group of performers that I could talk about.

Music marc t. michael

“

It’s music for road trips on hot days, for being 17 again and shredding on a skateboard, for bouncing and pogoing and moshing in a crowded bar.”

Sometimes there isn’t enough space to write about all that’s fresh and original with a group, other times it takes a little more digging to find that kernel of creative spark that only band X has, but everyone has their own voice.

However…unique voice or not, certain genres tend to dominate a given market, and after a while you find yourself longing for some variety, so it is with great pleasure that this week’s feature is about something very different.

Genki Genki Panic self-describes as “instrumental horror surf” music, and that’s precisely what it is. Imagine that Dick Dale or the Ventures had partnered up with Ed Wood and you’ve got a good idea what the boys are about, although you may need to throw in some video game themes and vintage cartoons for the full effect.

The band is a three-piece, featuring “Chancho” on guitar, “El Fatsquatch” on drums and vocals (vocals being an easy gig in an instrumental band) and “Larde” on bass. The fact that they appear in public exclusively in luchador masks should come as a shock to no one, ever.

This is the point where I’d offer an analysis of a few tunes, but here’s the

Get On the Bill Mondays at Grandfalloon

thing: There is no analysis of surf music, horror or otherwise. It’s straightforward fun, and that’s it. The drums provide a frenetic beat, the bass thumps and the guitar is sonic amphetamines winding its way through exotic scales. That’s it. It is minimalist and it is magical.

Don’t get me wrong—I love singer/songwriters and socially conscious bands, but once in a while it’s good to leave all that baggage behind, crank up the volume and just enjoy the sound and that is what Genki Genki Panic is for. It’s music for road trips on hot days, for being 17 again and shredding on a skateboard, for bouncing and pogoing and moshing in a crowded bar on a sweaty night while pounding cold beers.

As there are no lyrics or hidden agendas, the music is accessible

to everyone, but there are Easter eggs for the initiated in terms of song titles. They tend to be sly puns, inside jokes or references to famous horror icons. “HPV Lovecraft” is both a rocking tune and a title that makes me giddy.

“Sexting the Dead” takes a serious look at drunk dialing your deceased ex via Ouija board.

“Your Body is a Wasteland” is self-explanatory. If Oderus Urungus hadn’t snuffed it, I could easily imagine these guys opening for GWAR and if one of them doesn’t have a shrine to Vincent Price somewhere in the basement, I’m getting them one for Christmas.

The fellas have some ambitions. I’ve already heard one gorgeous album’s worth of tunes (Ghoulie High Harmony)and in a few weeks they’re headed back in to the studio to record a new

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one (rumored to feature a special appearance by an Elvis impersonator…or is he?).

They’re looking to start a bimonthly surf show in the area.

Kudos to the first bar owner clever enough to jump on that. In the meantime, you can catch the fellows this weekend at the all-new Granfalloon on Saturday, June 13 at 8 p.m.

They will also be appearing the following Friday (June 19) at Ziggy’s at 9 p.m. with special guests Silver Tongued Devil and the rockabilly/surf heroes Get Hot or Go Home. Go out, forget about the wide, wicked world for a while and turn on to some wicked fun instead with Genki Genki Panic.

•••• Keep up with the Genki Genki Panic via their Facebook page and website, genkigenkipanic.com

In much the same way as a mother cat brings a wounded mouse to her kittens in order to teach them valuable hunting skills, so too the venerable “open mic” has been a proving ground for fledgling performers to cut their teeth since Elvis first sang “Old Shep.”

Our fair city has a few open mics, but there’s a new game in town. The all-new Granfalloon at 400 E. Main Street is sponsoring its own open mic, hosted by Chattanooga rising star, Nick Lutsko.

Nick, already known as a skillful performer and popular entertainer, now takes up the mantle of “open mic” emcee every Monday night at Granfalloon with sign ups at 7 p.m. and performances running from 8 to 11 p.m. The event isn’t limited to singer/songwriters—all performers are welcome, including improv actors, standup comedians, dancers and poets.

If you are a performer and you’re looking for a place to showcase your talents, hone your skills or just network with other performers, Nick Lutsko and Granfalloon have got you covered. Granfalloon will feature $3 pints and the kitchen will be open until 10 p.m. — MTM

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chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 13

LIVE MUSIC

JUNE

HANK & CUPCAKES THU 9:3Op 11 with SMOOTH DIALECTS

12 SHABTI, AGORI TRIBE SAT 10p 13 ALANNA ROYALE THU 9p 18 FRI SOCRO 10p 19 MIGHTY SIDESHOW SAT 10p 20 THE CADILLAC SAINTS THU 9p 25 SOUL MECHANIC

FRI ALLMAN BROTHERS AFTER PARTY 10p

THROWING DOWN THE JAM

with CALEB HAWLEY & MATHIEN

EURO DANCE + SOUTHERN HIP HOP with HOUR LATE

EPIC GUITAR RIFFS & SOULFUL VOCALS

6.26 BACKUP PLANET 6.27 THE VELCRO PYGMIES 7.2 FLASHLIGHT SHOWS PRESENT: TORRES

COMING IN JULY

ZOSO

FRI ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE 10p

FRI FLY BY RADIO FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL 10p

3

10

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Hunter Hayes

thursday6.11 Hunter Hayes, The Suffers, Kawehi, Trevor Card, Yacht Rock Revue, Suzy Bogguss, Harpeth Rising, Little River Band, KOA, Social Network, No Big Deal, Scott Brown Band 6 p.m.

Riverbend Festival 200 Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Feel It Thursday Open Mic 7 p.m.

Mocha Restaurant & Music Lounge 511 Broad St. mochajazz.net chattanoogagrace.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Tab Spencer 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. (423) 266-3366 Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Hank & Cupcakes 9 p.m.

14 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm­brews.com

friday6.12 The Old Time Travelers & Taylor Kress 9 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Gregg Allman, Sons of Bill, Smith & Wesley, Arson, Molly Hatchet, Annie and the Hot Club, Jack Pearson/Jonell Mosser, Cole Swindell, Wrecking Crew, Preston Parris Band, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Drew Sterchi & Blues Tribe 6 p.m.

Riverbend Festival

Pulse Pick: The Stratoblasters Chattanooga’s favorite party band—featuring some of this city's most well-known radio talents— will bring their classic rock show band to the Market for a your dining, dancing and shopping pleasure.

The Stratoblasters Sunday, 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

200 Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Dismembered Tennesseans 7 p.m.

Nightfall Concert Series Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com River City Sessions 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Mercy’s Well 7:30 p.m.

Ringgold Depot 155 Depot St., Ringgold cityofringgold.com Band of Ruhks 8 p.m.

Nightfall Concert Series Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com

Rick Rushing &The Blues Strangers 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Steven Mullan 9 p.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. worldofbeer.com Ramble in the Attic Live 9 p.m.

T-Bones 1419 Chestnut St. tbonessportscafe.com Courtney Daly 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Desert Noises, Penicillin Baby 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Addison Johnson 10 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

saturday6.13 The Old Time Travelers, Tarryn Aimee Smith 9 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Ill Nino, Straight Line

Stitch, Motograter Noon The Warehouse 5617 Ringgold Rd., #105 (423) 757-1569 Jennifer Daniels 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Stone Temple Pilots, Pigeons Playing Ping Pong, 8TRK, Chubb Rock, Rock Skool Chattanooga, The Dead Deads, Natural Habitz, Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Brightside, Nick Lutsko, Here Come The Mummies 6 p.m.

Riverbend Festival 200 Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Jericho Brass 7 p.m.

Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky St. signalmacc.org Genki Genki Panic 8 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfallooncha.com Addison Johnson 8 p.m.

Wheelie’s Bar & Grill 742 Ashland Terrace (423) 710-8739 Cody James Harris 8 p.m.

Wired Coffee Bar 9447 Bradmore Lane, #101 thewiredcoffeebar.com PLVNET

8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com River Canyon 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. skyzoochattanooga.com Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Shabti, Agori Tribe 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Hap Henninger 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

sunday6.14 The Old Time Travelers, Highbeams 9 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Rissi Palmer 11 a.m.

The Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com The Stratoblasters 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St.

chattanoogamarket.com Fritsl Butler 1:30 p.m.

The Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775

monday6.15 Adam Wayne 6 p.m.

Alhambra Shrine 1000 Alhambra Dr. alhambrashrine.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic 7 p.m.

Magoo’s Restaurant 3658 Ringgold Rd. facebook.com/MagoosTN Very Open Mic 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

tuesday6.16 Bill McCallie & In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

Stone Temple Pilots

Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

901 Carter St. Inside City Cafe (423) 634-9191

Thursday, June 11: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, June 12: 9pm Courtney Daly Saturday, June 13: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, June 16: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

Wednesday, June 17: 8pm Blues Night feat. Yattie Westfield Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

citycafemenu.com/the-office

wednesday6.17 The Other Guys 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 834-9300 Ethan Parker Band 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Open Jam 8 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Blues Night with Yattie Westfield 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

Friday • June 12 Desert Noises Penicilin Baby

Friday • June 19 Turbo Fruits

Saturday • June 20 Dead Deads True Violet

Tuesday • June 23

Frontier Folk Nebraska

Saturday • June 27 Ben Nichols (Lucero) James Legg

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event list-JJ’s Bohemia JJ’s Bohemia • 231Blvd.

E MLK Blvd.

• 231 E MLK ings at least 10 days in advance to: 423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com 423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 15

Record Reviews

ernie paik

Japanese Hedgehogs Return, Saharan Rock Meets Afrobeat

Melt-Banana back with brain-thrash, Tal National gets precise and tight the Maytals, plus inspired takes on Devo’s “Uncontrollable Urge” and “Love Song” by The Damned.

With brain-melting guitar work, hostile-yet-oddly-cute vocals and constantly inventive, limit-pushing sound treatments, Melt-Banana can never be accused of being boring.

HOME GAMES

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Great Outdoors Night

Thu, June 18 • 7:15 PM vs. Jacksonville

Georgia Night • Thirsty Thursday

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Sat, June 20 • 7:15 PM vs. Jacksonville Agriculture Night

Sun, June 21 • 2:15 PM vs. Jacksonville

2015 Team Card Set Giveaway

Melt-Banana Return of 13 Hedgehogs (A-Zap)

I

f the violent cartoon characters Itchy and Scratchy formed a hardcore band and were from Japan, they might sound like Melt-Banana.

That description doesn’t do the band justice, for a group that has the super-human speed and pummeling intensity it does, with a distinctive weirdness and affinity for creating absolutely deliciously sick guitar noises.

Melt-Banana’s new release Return of 13 Hedgehogs, subtitled “MxBx singles 2000 – 2009,” collects 29 tracks originally on various singles and split-singles, and it takes up where their 56-track 2005 compilation 13 Hedgehogs left off. Since the band’s material is so potent and stabbing, the single format is ideal—just hit it and quit it, and leave the listener gobsmacked and wanting to immediately hear it again.

So, when you put all this material on a single CD, listening to it from start to fin-

16 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Tal National Zoy Zoy (FatCat) ish is overwhelming. Aside from the normal 7-inch single and 10-inch EP formats, Return of 13 Hedgehogs culls tracks from non-standard 5-inch, 6-inch and 8-inch vinyl releases, which likely induced wet dreams among vinyl fetishists.

The two key members are female singer Yako—who provides manic, staccato vocals—and guitarist Agata, whose guitar licks are nothing less than awe-spiring, bending and distorting and abusing his notes until they are unrecognizable, like on the insane “Steel me lust.”

Among the pedal-effectladen, thrashing onslaught are a few diversions, like the sample-spitting, dub-echoing “Capital 1060 Hospital” and the tiger-on-the-keys piano madness of “52 hands, 36 possibilities.”

Also included are several cover songs, such as the frenzied ska glee of “Monkey Man” originally by Toots and

A

lthough today there are fewer barriers that impede musical discovery, when it comes to breaking out of the western world/ non-western world divide, there are still roadblocks.

Some listeners may be stymied by language barriers and a possible inability to relate to certain pond-crossing music, which is likely why non-English-sung international hits are few and far between and often novelties.

Western world explorers of music with African origins— think Talking Heads or Paul Simon in the ’80s and Vampire Weekend and others more recently—are accused of appropriation as often as they are considered ambassadors.

This writer is typically gentle toward musicians who consciously and thoughtfully attempt to open ears and not be stingy cultural gate-keepers and looks forward to the day when a person off the street can tell the difference between music from Morocco, Ethiopia and Nigeria as

easily as music from various American regions.

With all this in mind, although the hardest working band in the West African country of Niger—Tal National—is known for its tenacity and marathon performances, the Chicagoan Jamie Carter facilitated getting Tal National exposure outside of Niger; Carter recorded both the excellent 2013 album Kaani and the new full-length Zoy Zoy for the band, using a remote recording setup in a makeshift studio.

While Zoy Zoy might be slightly less of a revelation to those who heard Kaani, nevertheless it sports a breathtaking precision and high level of energy forged with and intense concentration.

Fusing Saharan guitar rock with a touch of an Afrobeat vibe, the channel-separated guitars interlock inside each track’s soundstream, recorded cleanly without room for error; the bass provides counterpoint rather than merely being an anchor, and the drumming is incredibly tight, nimble and chiseled.

While the group has a typical rock band instrumental setup, the call-and-response vocals use female backing singers to carry the spirit of the combination of originals and traditional numbers on another compelling release, deserving of a wide audience.

chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 17

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A Test of Nose-to-Tail Cooking Chef McJunkin ventures into eating territory few have braved thus far

“

Finding a source for reasonably fresh, quality animelles is tricky.

Your best bet is to befriend a farmer or butcher, such as the good folks at Main Street Meats.”

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

It was bound to happen worshipping, self-proclaimed, eventually. I bought, cleaned, offal connoisseurs that will orcooked and ate lamb testicles. der up the occasional plate of I’ve certainly eaten my fair sweetbreads or pick through a share of “bizarre” foods; sea slow-cooked pig’s foot twice urchin, balut, beef heart, cena year; but in today’s world of tury eggs, ant nose-to-tail larvae, raw eating, the meat, and alhanging tenmost every dergroins are part of evwhat separate ery barnyard the peach animal has fuzz from the MIKE McJUNKIN graced my bristles. plate at some point. Animal Finding a source for reasontestes, however, have someably fresh, quality animelles how escaped my adventurous is tricky. Your best bet is to maw—until now. I’ve never befriend a farmer or butcher, been opposed to eating an such as the good folks at Main animal’s testicles on principle.

Street Meats. Currently, most After all, as a responsible carmale livestock are castrated nivore, isn’t it hypocritical to shortly after birth, which judge one cut of meat over antends to cut down on the availother? From a broad, cultural ability of fresh fries, so having perspective, is it wrong to say a friend that will think of you that one part of the animal is whenever they see balls is tru“better” than another? ly a friend indeed.

Fergus Henderson, regardOnce you get your hands ed as a modern-day pioneer of on a good pair, you’ve got to nose-to-tail cooking, famously check for quality. Make sure said, “If you’re going to knock they are firm and pinkish it on the head, it seems only in color. Like most glands, polite to eat the whole thing.” they’re at their best when If you are going to raise an they are fresh, so try to buy animal for its meat, throwing them within a day or two of away the parts that don’t bewhen you plan to cook them. come steak, roast or ground is Testicles also freeze well, an inexcusable waste of life with no discernible loss due to and the resources consumed shrinkage or shriveling. to create it.

The actual act of preparing Offal (a term used to detesticles for cooking is easier scribe any parts of a meat anithan the thought of preparing mal that are eaten but are not them for cooking. Testicles skeletal muscle) has recently have two membranes that surseen a resurgence in popularround the glands like a proity, both in Europe and the tective sack. These have to be U.S., but it has mostly focused removed carefully. Use a very on tongue, heart, liver, pig trotsharp knife to cut through ters and ears. Sure, there are the outer tissue, which can enclaves of Chris Cosentinothen be peeled back to reveal

Sushi & Biscuits

the inner membrane, which should also be removed in the same way, especially if you intend to cook your balls whole.

This outer membrane shrinks rapidly when heated, causing the gland to explode and shoot its contents everywhere like...well…never mind. To prevent a very unpleasant and ruinous ball burst, puncture the inner membrane so it can shrink safely away from the testicle.

Once you have freed the flesh-colored and slightly fragile gland from its protective sacks, I recommend a nice long bath in two parts milk and one part salt water to help pull out any remaining blood or gaminess (unless you’re into that; who am I to judge?).

It’s at this point you’ll find yourself mesmerized by the pallid, squishy orbs that will try to escape your grasp like the water snake wigglies you played with in middle school.

Don’t be distracted.

After an overnight bath, gently slice the little guys into 1-2 inch-thick ovals, dip into

an egg wash spiked with a few dashed of hot sauce, dredge in a flour-cornmeal mixture, and fry to golden brown.

I can’t tell you much about other testicles, but the taste of lamb fries is shockingly unremarkable. I prepared myself for a huge blast of flavor like something out of Guy Fieri’s gym bag, but the actual testicle turned out to be very tame, with a mild, veal-like taste and a texture somewhere between a cooked scallop and slow-poached chicken. Since they’re glands, not muscle, they’re extremely tender, and overall the experience was similar to eating a delicious, fried pâté medallion.

I want to be a responsible eater and respect the animals that give their all by not discarding anything that may have culinary value. Putting psychological barriers and culturally ingrained taste aversions aside, lamb testicles are a perfectly acceptable food and honestly—shouldn’t we all be eating more balls?

chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 19

ARTS SCENE

They Are Not A Seagull…Well, Maybe A Little Chattanooga Theatre Centre opens Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

You Don’t Know Beans “The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack” comes to the MACC The Mountain Arts Community Center is putting its foot down.

Forget overpriced Hollywood dramas or prepackaged DVDs. Instead, check out entertainment in its most basic form and, consequently, its best—just a man and his puppets.

Popular Atlanta-based puppeteer Lee Bryan has built a reputation that simply pitches him as “That Puppet Guy!” His rendition of a fairy tale classic, entitled “The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack,” comes to the MACC on Monday, June 15 at 11 a.m. It follows the timeless tale of a boy stumbling across magic beans, outwitting a Giant, grabbing the gold and saving his farm, but offers a contemporary spin with an energetic musical accompaniment.

Kids will be treated to a visual barrage of engaging rod puppets, hand puppets and shadow puppets, as parents sit back—and perhaps enjoy a little nostalgia while having some family fun without the all-too familiar buzz of electronics. Bryan will also stick around after the show to meet guests and take pictures with his beloved cast of characters.

— Shaun Webster “The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack” Monday, June 15, 11 a.m.

Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave., Signal Mountain (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org

Thu6.11

fri6.12

sat6.13

arts support

exploration

on a thread

Arts Build Fundraiser

“RED”

Come out and help support one of the city's best arts organizations with a drink or three.

5 p.m.

The Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com

A five-act folk dance exploration in themes ranging from birth to coming together in life.

7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

World Wide Knit in Public Day Grab your needles and yarn and express your knitting love in public.

9:30 a.m.

Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org

20 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

S

cott Dunlap didn’t intend to see the New York production of Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. “We’d gone to New York to see Giant at the Public,” he explains, “… during Hurricane Sandy. There was no power. We were standing in line at the TKTS booth to see something else, and I thought, ‘I don’t know, Christopher Durang, it’ll be weird and he hates Catholicism.’” But Dunlap took a chance anyway.

Arts janis hashe

“

Durang, known for earlier pieces such as Beyond Therapy and Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You, has mellowed—or maybe the world has gotten more surreal."

“And at intermission, I was so excited about the show. It’s so funny and so unlike other Durang plays,” he says. In fact, Dunlap liked the play so much, he returned to New York to see it again when it moved to Broadway. When the opportunity arose to direct the 2013 Tony Awardwinner for Best Play at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre, he jumped at it. The piece opens Friday on the CTC’s Circle Stage.

Naturally, with a title like that, “V&S&M&S” deals with archetypes drawn from the works of Anton Chekhov. As explained in the CTC’s materials: “Vanya, Sonia, and Masha are three siblings whose artsy parents (now deceased) named them after characters from Chekhov. Vanya and Sonia lived at home to care for their ailing parents while sister Masha traveled the world as an international movie star.

“Now Masha is back with her boytoy Spike in tow, and she’s intent on selling the house. Add to the mix a housekeeper with second sight and a

star-struck girl-next-door and thus ensues a comical weekend in the country.”

Yet Dunlap emphasizes that audience members don’t have to be steeped in Russian drama to appreciate the play. In fact, he says, he’s no Chekhov expert himself. “I didn’t read Chekhov in school. As a theatre person, I knew enough to get most of the references when I saw it the first time, which makes the jokes funny on two levels—but it’s just funny in any case.”

Durang, known for earlier pieces such as “Beyond Therapy” and “Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For You,” “has mellowed—or maybe the world has gotten more surreal,” muses Dunlap.

His cast (Greg Ramblin, Sr., Julie Van Valkenburg, Kristina Montague, Tom Majors, Maya Abram and Megan Cobb), came to rehearsals with various levels of familiarity with both Durang and Chekhov. “Everyone has done their research,” Dunlap says.

“And everyone can relate to unresolved family issues and how family members know how to push your buttons. Something will catch my peripheral vision [in rehearsal] and everyone will be laughing.”

As he usually does, Dunlap is designing costumes along with directing. The play’s characters attend a Halloween costume party at one

point, and that’s been an enjoyable challenge, he says. “For example, Masha is supposed to be Snow White, but some people don’t recognize her as Snow White, so how do we show that?” he says. The audience never sees the actual costume party, “but deeper and darker truths come out while the characters are wearing Halloween costumes.”

Durang has always been known for his pop-culture references, and in a time when that culture changes from Tweet to Tweet, even a play written in this decade presents the options of keeping all references as they are, or updating them, Dunlap points out.

But that in itself has its own charm, he says.

Ultimately, he thinks audiences will truly enjoy seeing a comedy “that you want to talk about afterwards. That’s rare. I think it will spark conversation about what was really going on in the play.”

And, of course, it’s just darn funny.

Note: The CTC wants audience members to know that this is an adult comedy and contains strong language.

•••• Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike, opens 8 p.m. Friday, June 12 (opening gala begins at 7 p.m.) and runs through June 28. Circle Stage, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. Tickets and more information: (423) 267-8534 or theatrecentre.com

GRAND OPENING JUNE WEEKEND 12-14 5414 Hixson Pike

Meet the Harvest team. Sample tasty treats. Give-aways galore. Sale specials.

Meet local vendors, and our resident in-house physician Dr. “Chip” Crump.

Visit harvestgrocery.com for grand opening schedule

Largest Independently-Owned Natural Foods Store In The Southeast chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 21

Presents

EVERY Friday, Saturday & Sunday from Memorial Day through Labor Day!

Music F o od

Fun

For the Whole Family !

Taylor Kress

Tarryn Aimée Smith

Fridays 11am - 7pm

Saturdays 11am - 7pm

HIGHBEAMS Sundays 11am - 7pm

Old Time Travelers

Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays 9am - 3pm

Join us for old time,

blue grass, and country music with a Seven States view during Summer Music Weekends. Come enjoy a summer day at Rock City Gardens, dine at Café 7, and catch a Rock City Raptor Show!

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Local, Fresh, Seasonal.

For more info call: 706.820.2531

ARTS CALENDAR

"Hava Nagila (The Movie)"

thursday6.11 Speaker Series: Small Business Development 8 a.m.

The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Thomas & Friends: “Explore the Rails” 10 a.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Homeschool Science Club 1 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co. 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Arts Build Fundraiser 5 p.m.

The Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Cafe 200 Market St. (423) 266-6202 funnydinner.com

22 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com RCsummerMusicQR.375x9.8.indd 1

5/29/15 9:07 AM

friday6.12 Harvest Grocery Grand Opening Celebration 7 a.m.

Harvest Grocery 5414 Hixson Pike (423) 847-0200 harvestgrocery.com Moccasin Bend Brewing Tour & Tasting 6 p.m.

Moccasin Bend Brewing Company 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392 bandbrewingbeer.com “Hava Nagila (The Movie)” 7 p.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com

Pulse Pick: Roy Haber Israeli born, Kentucky raised, Roy's comedy is live, direct and brutally honest, whether it's about his (lack of) height, society or stories about his world travels.

Roy Haber The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

“Mystery of Flight 138” 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Cafe 200 Market St. (423) 266-6202 funnydinner.com “Abduction From The Seraglio” 7:30 p.m.

Scenic City Opera 6231 Lee Highway sceniccityopera.org “RED” 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Roy Haber 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

“Vanya & Sonia & Masha & Spike” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com

saturday6.13 Tri For The Shelter Sprint Triathlon 8 a.m.

Rocky Mountain Recreation Area 4054 Big Texas Valley Rd. (706) 802-5087 georgiawildlife.com 10th Annual National Physique Committee Battle 9 a.m.

Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com World Wide Knit in Public Day 9:30 a.m.

Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Coffee with the Artist: Michael McCamish 10 a.m.

Studio Space Junk 436 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-6066 studiospacejunk.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave.

ARTS CALENDAR

"RED" (423) 243-3250 saygrace.net “A Touch of Elegance” Fashion Show 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1100 Carter St. (423) 698-0029 chattanoogaconvention.org Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 267-3474 chattanoogarivermarket.com Getting Fit For Monet 10 a.m.

Warehouse Row 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1111 warehouserow.com Riverfront Yoga with Maggie White 10 a.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. (423) 267-3474 chattanoogarivermarket.com Tai Chi 11 a.m.

Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd. (423) 855-2689 chattlibrary.org Summer BBQ Festival 11:30 a.m.

Burks United Methodist Church 6429 Hixson Pike (423) 842-4219 burks.org Victorian Ice Cream Social 1 p.m.

Houston Museum of Decorative Arts 210 High St. (423) 267-7176 thehoustonmuseum.org Children’s Picture Book Bash!

2 p.m.

Barnes & Noble 2100 Hamilton Blvd.

(423) 893-0186 barnesandnoble.com “Abduction From The Seraglio” 7:30 p.m.

Scenic City Opera Venue 6231 Lee Highway sceniccityopera.org “RED” 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Roy Haber 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Vanya & Sonia & Masha & Spike” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com

sunday6.14 Chattanooga Market: Street Food Festival 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 266-4041 chattanoogamarket.com “Abduction From The Seraglio” 3 p.m.

Scenic City Opera Venue 6231 Lee Highway sceniccityopera.org BBQ & Bluegrass Father’s Day Cruise 4:30 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 267-3474 tnaqua.org “RED” 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Roy Haber 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday6.15 “The Giant, the Beanstalk and Jack” 11 a.m.

Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky St. (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org Chattanooga Speaks 5:30 p.m.

The Camp House

149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 653-0340 thecamphouse.com League of Women Voters Meeting: “Sunshine Laws” 5:30 p.m.

Training Room, Business Development Center 100 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 622-2862 One Step at a Time 6 p.m.

Shepherd Community Center 2124 Shepherd Rd. (423) 999-7958 Street Cycling 101 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Vintage Swing Dance 7 p.m.

Clear Spring Yoga 17 N. Market St. (931) 982-1678 clearspringyoga.com “RED” 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

tuesday6.16 Science of Superheroes 1:30 p.m.

E.G. Fisher Library 1289 Ingleside Ave. (423) 745-7782 fisherlibrary.org Renaissance: A Print and

“Top 10 Extreme Thrill” - Groupaway Travel Magazine

OPEN EVERY DAY! 9a-6p RubyFallsZip.com 423.821.2544

chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 23 RFZIPStreamDailySBT2.375x9.8.indd 1

6/4/15 1:31 PM

Saturday, June 13th @ 7 p.m. at the MACC

PUPPET SHOW

Monday, June 15th @ 11 a.m.

Come experience the magic and imagination of well-known Atlanta puppeter Lee Bryan as he presents his own take on the classic fairly tale: “The Giant, The Beanstalk & Jack” Tickets are $10 for adults, $5 for students and children (free for children under 3) Mountain Arts Community Center • 809 Kentucky Ave, Signal Mountain, TN For more information visit our website at signalmacc.org

IT’S BACK! musts and mustn’ts: • Entries must be NO LONGER than 500 words, must never have been published before, and must include a title.

• Only one entry per writer.

• Submit as Microsoft Word document, and include your name and contact info on the document.

• Finalists will be published in the July 23rd issue of The Pulse.

short story contest submissions due by: Friday, July 10, 2015 send to: CREATIVE@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM only 24 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

ARTS CALENDAR

FREE CONCERT

Chattanooga F.C. vs. Atlanta Silverbacks Reserves

Book Arts Exhibit 6 p.m.

Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org “Gangs of New York” 7 p.m.

Majestic 12 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375 carmike.com Insider Access to “Inside Out” 7 p.m.

East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com Chattanooga F.C. vs.

Atlanta Silverbacks Reserves 7:30 p.m.

Finley Stadium 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041 chattanoogafc.com

wednesday6.17 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market 3 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 266-4041 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street

Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com A Healthier Running Nervous System 5:30 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 milb.com “Drum Corps International” Tour Premiere 8:30 p.m.

East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com

ongoing “Inside/Out” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com "Still In The Mist" In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Spring Season at Blackwell 71 Eastgate Loop (423) 344-5643

chattanoogaphoto.org “Eudora Welty and the Segregated South” The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Gajin Fujita” The Hunter Museum of American Art10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Japonisme and America” The Hunter Museum of American Art10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “New on View” The Hunter Museum of American Art10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org The Alice E. and Joseph H. Davenport, Jr. Collection The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Spirit Moves: Works by Allyson Mellberg Taylor and Jeremy Taylor” Association for Visual Arts 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 www.avarts.org Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “The most dangerous phrase in the language is, ‘We’ve always done it this way.’” — Grace Hopper I’ve never heard this phrase so often as when I moved south of the Mason-Dixon.

Lots of people don’t like change. They find it frightening, as it stirs up all sorts of concerns about having to break from the comfort zone and experience the unfamiliar. Even worse, it threatens our sense of control.

That said, “We’ve always done it this way” has a rigidity to it, a stuckness, a clipping of vision’s wings. Think about the words, “Let’s try something different,” or, “I’m open to that,” or, my favorite, the simple “Why not?”

These contain freedom and movement, anticipation and excitement.

Tradition certainly has its place as a graceful, charming, comforting part of our culture. And there are aspects of ourselves that are healthy to control. But when it comes to exploring beyond old boundaries, doing things differently, and having new adventures, I say: Why not? chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 25

SCREEN SCENE

She Will Astonish Them All “Far From the Madding Crowd” is sensitive Hardy adaptation

The Dangerous Streets of New York Daniel Day-Lewis leads an all-star cast in gritty drama Daniel Day-Lewis is one of the most chameleon-like of actors in modern cinema. Every performance is completely unlike the work that came before (or comes after), to the point where he is almost unrecognizable in each film.

His Oscar-winning role as Bill The Butcher, the centerpiece character in Martin Scorcese’s 2002 historical drama “Gangs of New York,” is a gruff, violent, and brutally driven gang leader who dominates the screen and all other characters around him, even longtime Scorcese favorite Leonardo DiCaprio (who turns in some of his

✴✴✴✴

best work in this film, as well).

The plot is simple: In 1863, in the mean streets of a young New York, Amsterdam Vallon (DiCaprio) returns to the gritty Five Points area of Lower Manhattan to seek revenge on the man who killed his father. Yet what transpires along the way is anything but simple.

“Gangs of New York” Tuesday, 7 p.m.

Majestic 12 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375

carmike.com

NEW IN THEATERS

Jurassic World Twenty-two years after the events of Jurassic Park, Isla Nublar now features a fully functioning dinosaur theme park, Jurassic World, as originally envisioned by John Hammond.

Director: Colin Trevorrow Stars: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty Simpkins, Judy Greer

✴✴✴✴

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl High schooler Greg, who spends most of his time making parodies of classic movies with his best friend, finds his outlook forever altered after a classmate is diagnosed with cancer.

Director: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon Stars: Thomas Mann, RJ Cyler, Olivia Cooke, Nick Offerman

26 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

“I

t is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in a language chiefly made by men to express theirs.”

So declares the bold and independent Bathsheba Everdene (Carey Mulligan) in Thomas Vinterberg’s film adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Far from the Madding Crowd.”

Screen rachael poe

“

Irritated, her suitor asks if he is amusing her, and she replies, ‘It’s only I have a piano.

And I have my own farm. And I have no need for a husband.’”

And Bathsheba isn’t the only one who struggles to articulate her emotions. All of the characters in “Madding Crowd” fail to communicate what they desire—or fail to even know themselves what they desire.

Luckily for the viewer, however, Vinterberg does not struggle to articulate his vision of Hardy’s literary masterpiece.

“Madding Crowd” is a beautifully realized film with breathtaking visuals, a subtle but impressive score, and intuitive, honest acting.

The film, however, is a bit gentler than the novel. As one of Hardy’s relatively early works, “Far from the Madding Crowd” is less bleak than his later work—such as “Tess of the d’Urbervilles” and “Jude the Obscure”—but the novel is still rough around the edges. Vinterburg softens the story a bit, perhaps in order to appeal to a wider audience and keep the runtime under two hours, but crucial moments in the story feel somewhat watered down.

Nevertheless, Vinterberg remains true to the spirit of Hardy’s work. In the first chapter of the novel, Hardy writes, “Love is a possible strength in an actual weakness,” a sentiment that Vinterberg’s film definitely conveys. It seems that every romantic attraction in “Madding Crowd” is pursued with the expectation that marriage—the joining of two flawed individuals—will somehow mend the problems of those individuals. In reality, however, marriage complicates more than it clarifies, and both Vinterberg’s film and Hardy’s novel impart the necessity of honest

“My abiding passion is to help cancer patients with cutting-edge treatments and personalized care.”

Dr. Edward Arrowsmith, Medical Oncologist

Serving the Chattanooga Community communication by revealing the tragic aftermath of dishonesty.

Set in the English countryside in 1870, “Madding Crowd” begins by establishing Bathsheba’s independent spirit and introducing her three romantic suitors. First, there is Gabriel Oak (Matthias Schoenaerts), a simple and hardworking sheep farmer who pledges to support and honor Bathsheba. Next is William Boldwood (Michael Sheen), a well-established landowner who offers her comfort and protection. And finally there is Sergeant Frank Troy (Tom Sturridge), a young and handsome soldier who promises an exciting life full of passion.

After her uncle’s death, Bathsheba inherits his farm, which has fallen into disrepair. She is determined to restore it to greatness, but not by marrying or hiring a man to take charge of the property. Bathsheba gathers the farmhands and declares, “From now on, you have a mistress, not a master. It is my intention to astonish you all.”

And astonish Bathsheba certainly does. She begins her first day as a farmer by firing her uncle’s bailiff, the man who is largely responsible for the farm’s ruin. The bailiff angrily protests that she is just a woman who knows nothing about his business, a man’s business. After the disgruntled bailiff finally leaves, she carries on her speech to the other farmhands, her voice steady and posture defiant, but with the slightest glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.

This is but a taste of the depth that Mulligan brings to the character of Bathsheba. Her performance is layered and sensitive, as it should be, for Bathsheba is a woman fighting to make her way in a man’s world. Mulligan’s incredible

performance is best matched by Sheen’s masterful portrayal of Boldwood, but Schoenaerts and Sturridge also have commendable turns as her other suitors.

After Bathsheba receives one of her first marriage proposals, she smiles a bit when her suitor mentions that he could provide for her, from money and shelter to dresses and pianos. Irritated, her suitor asks if he is amusing her, and she replies, “It’s only I have a piano. And I have my own farm. And I have no need for a husband.”

Another suitor declares that Bathsheba is a beautiful. When she does not reply, he continues, “You must know.

There must be some man who calls you beautiful.” Bathsheba remains silent.

Mulligan’s sensitive portrayal of Bathsheba reveals how uncomfortable she is with men’s objectification of her and the idea that a woman needs a man’s opinion to know she’s beautiful.

While a wedding often represents a successful conclusion to a story—especially in theatrical convention or a Jane Austen novel—“Madding Crowd” takes as much time exploring courtship as it spends revealing its aftermath. In “Madding Crowd,” Bathsheba’s wedding is not the end of the story. Rather, Vinterberg’s film, like Hardy’s novel, explores what happens after the wedding bells and what marriage looks like behind closed doors. The viewer, then, is allowed to see what happens after “happily ever after”—and it is usually not so happy.

Vinterberg’s “Madding Crowd” is well worth a watch for those who have read Hardy’s novel and those who have not, for it is a story made timeless by Bathsheba’s resilience and independence.

MORE THAN 80 PHYSICIANS IN 30 LOCATIONS

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Since 1982

Sell In To Fund Your Summer Fun! Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

“ Homework: Name two ways you think that everyone should be more like you.

FreeWillAstrology. com

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I think it’ll be better if you don’t engage in much sacrifice, compromise, or surrender in the next two weeks.

Normally they are valuable tools to have at your disposal, but for now they may tend to be counterproductive. Judging from the current astrological omens, I suspect you need to be more commanding than usual, more confident in your vision of how to take action with maximum integrity. It’s time for you to draw deeper from the source of your own power, and express it with extra grace and imagination.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You will soon be escaping—or maybe “graduating” is the right word—from your interesting trials and tribulations. In honor of this cathartic transition, I suggest you consider doing a ritual. It can be a fullfledged ceremony you conduct with somber elegance, or a fiveminute psychodrama you carry out with boisterous nonchalance. It will be a celebration of your ability to outlast the forces of chaos and absurdity, and an expression of gratitude for the resources you’ve managed to call on in the course of your struggle. To add an extra twist, you could improvise a rowdy victory prayer that includes this quote adapted from Nietzsche: “I throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘Here is my thanks to the monster who did not devour me.’”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I propose a Friends Cleanse.

It would be a threeweek-long process of reviewing your support team and web of connections. If you feel up for the challenge, start this way: Take inventory of your friendships and alliances. If there are any that have faded or deteriorated, make a commitment to either fix them or else phase them out.

Here’s the second stage of the Friends Cleanse: Give dynamic boosts to those relationships that are already working well.

Take them to the next level of candor and synergy.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): After Walt Whitman published Leaves of Grass in 1855, he

28 • The Pulse • June 11-17, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

made sure it would get the publicity he wanted. He wrote anonymous reviews of his own book and submitted them to several publications, all of which printed them. “An American bard at last!” began the glowing review that appeared in one newspaper. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Virgo, you now have license to engage in similar behavior. You will incur no karma, nor will you tempt fate, if you tout your own assets in the coming weeks. Try to make your bragging and selfpromotion as charming as possible, of course. But don’t be timid about it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you carry out the assignments I recommend, you will boost your charisma, your chutzpah, and your creativity. Here’s the first one: Try something impossible every day. Whether or not you actually accomplish it isn’t important. To merely make the effort will shatter illusions that are holding you back.

Here’s your second assignment: Break every meaningless rule that tempts you to take yourself too seriously. Explore the art of benevolent mischief. Here’s the third: Clear out space in your fine mind by shedding one dogmatic belief, two unprovable theories, and three judgmental opinions. Give yourself the gift of fertile emptiness.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the 16th century, roguish French author Francois Rabelais published a comic novel entitled The Life of Gargantua and of Pantagruel. In the course of his satirical story, a learned teacher named Epistemon takes a visit to the afterlife and back. While on the other side, he finds famous dead heroes employed in humble tasks.

Alexander the Great is making a meager living from mending old socks. Cleopatra is hawking onions in the streets. King Arthur cleans hats and Helen of Troy supervises chambermaids.

In accordance with the Rabelaisian quality of your current astrological aspects, Scorpio, I invite you to meditate on the reversals you would like to see in your own life. What is first that maybe should be last? And

vice versa? What’s enormous that should be small? And vice versa? What’s proud that should be humble? And vice versa?

to capitalize fully on serendipitous opportunities and unexpected breakthroughs when they arrive.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There’s no better time than now to ask the big question or seek the big opening or explore the big feeling. People are not only as receptive as they will ever be, they are also more likely to understand what you really mean and what you are trying to accomplish. Which door has been forever locked? Which poker face hasn’t blinked or flinched in many moons? Which heart of darkness hasn’t shown a crack of light for as long as you can remember? These are frontiers worth revisiting now, when your ability to penetrate the seemingly impenetrable is at a peak.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too,” said American writer Josh Billings. I agree with him. It’s not impossible to solve the mystery of who you are, but it can be hard work that requires playful honesty, cagey tenacity, and an excellent sense of humor. The good news is that these days it’s far less difficult and inconvenient than usual for you to deepen your self-understanding. So take advantage! To get started, why don’t you interview yourself? Go here to see some questions you could ask: http://bit.ly/interviewyourself.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The writer Donald Barthelme once came to see the artist Elaine de Kooning in her New York studio.

Midway through the visit, loud crashes and bangs disturbed the ceiling above them. De Kooning wasn’t alarmed. “Oh, that’s Herbert thinking,” she said, referring to the metal sculptor Herbert Ferber, who worked in a studio directly above hers.

This is the kind of thinking I’d love to see you unleash in the coming days, Capricorn. Now is not a time for mild, cautious, delicate turns of thought, but rather for vigorous meditations, rambunctious speculations, and carefree musings. In your quest for practical insight, be willing to make some noise. (The story comes from Barthelme’s essay “Not-Knowing.”)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “To look at a thing hard and straight and seriously—to fix it.”

Aries author Henry James said he wanted to do that on a regular basis. He didn’t want to be “arbitrary” or “mechanical” in his efforts. I invite you to make this perspective one of your specialties in the coming weeks, Aries. Pick out a tweaked situation you’d like to mend or a half-spoiled arrangement you want to heal. Then pour your pure intelligence into it. Investigate it with a luminous focus. Use all your tough and tender insight to determine what needs to be transformed, and transform it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sidney Lumet was an American director who worked on 50 films, including 14 that were nominated for Academy Awards, like Network and Dog Day Afternoon.

Actors loved to work with him, even though he was a stickler for thorough rehearsals. Intense preparation, he felt, was the key to finding the “magical accidents” that allow an actor’s highest artistry to emerge. I advocate a similar strategy for you, Aquarius. Make yourself ready, through practice and discipline,

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Drug expert Jonathan P. Caulkins estimates that Americans are stoned on marijuana for more than 288 million hours every week. A U.N. report on global drug use concluded that Canadians consume weed at a similar rate.

Among Europeans, Italians are number one and the French are fourth. But I encourage you to avoid contributing to these figures for the next twelve to fourteen days. In my astrological opinion, it’s time to be as sober and sensible and serious as you ever get. You have the chance to make unprecedented progress on practical matters through the power of your pure reasoning and critical thinking.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“Sweet Freedom”—freestylin’ it.

ACROSS 1 Nullifies 11 Basketball hoop part 14 Savory bakery appetizers 15 Hungarian wine city 17 “Tommy” star 18 The heart’s location?

19 Hard rain 20 Straddled 22 Service pieces 25 Prefix before pod or pub 26 Drake’s genre, derisively 27 Target for some vacuum attachments 28 Henner of “Taxi” 30 Figure out 31 “Deliverance” piece 36 “Save us!”

37 Words before well or often 38 Lifelong

42 Head-of-theline boast 45 Subway in a Duke Ellington tune 46 They chase in chase scenes 48 Tony with a Lifetime Achievement Grammy 50 Attacked on foot 51 Times long gone?

52 Upgrade from black-and-white 56 Submission tape 57 NPR show covering journalism 58 “Solaris” author Stanislaw ___ 59 “Here goes nothing” DOWN 1 Get down without much energy?

2 Founder of the American Shakers 3 Workday start,

for some 4 Phrase of reassurance, to a Brit 5 F flat, enharmonically 6 Copier option smaller than 29-Down 7 Go limp 8 Hockey legend Bobby 9 Early Coloradans 10 Booster phase on some rockets 11 Unoriginal idea 12 “Whoa, look at the time ...”

13 Photo album contents?

16 Do the news 21 Arm art, for short 23 ___-mutuel (type of betting) 24 Relating to a certain column 27 Out in the open 29 Copier option larger than 6-Down

31 Eurasian cousin of the plover 32 Password accompaniment 33 Airy beginning?

34 Like 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, and 12 35 Onetime R.J. Reynolds mascot 36 Bottom of the ocean 39 1996 Gibson/ Sinise flick 40 Never, to Nietzsche 41 Aphid that produces honeydew 43 Olivia NewtonJohn film of 1980 44 Lamentable 47 Slab of meat 49 “Beloved” writer Morrison 53 Capt. juniors 54 “Now I understand!”

55 “Automatic for the People” group

Copyright © 2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0731 chattanoogapulse.com • June 11-17, 2015 • The Pulse • 29

Teach’s Journal: Port-a-Potti Down Officer Alex’s tales of a certain festival down by the river

“

Females wearing ‘Daisy Dukes’ shorts and cowboy boots?

They will be covering the festival grounds like bison once covered the Great Plains: As far as the eye can see.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

but I just don’t have the If you are reading this in guts to tell them, the poor the form of a hard copy on sots. the weekend it is published, Because working Riverit may already be too late for bend is bad enough. me. For you. For us all.

If you are off-site, it’s I’m typing this from a not too late, you know. It’s bunker below the reassurout there, ing weight maybe just of the Olgiati Bridge, outside your restaurant’s but the conwindow, or crete is beALEX TEACH ing steadily down the street (or on your shoes). weakened by a steady influx And if you’re not sure? There of stale beer, hot Powerade, and fetid urine. are signs.

Look, and you will see I send my men out after people slinging lawn chairs dark to gather supplies, but over their shoulders like we are only four days into it an occupying army slinging and spirits are low. Hanralong guns, and instead of han over there is trying to belts of ammunition they erect a solar sail to generate have bandoliers of airplane power for our life support liquor bottles hidden all systems, and we pretend over their persons in hopes to have high hopes for its of saving a few bucks (when success…but we all know we know good and well that the unspoken truth: It’s all they’re really doing is just a fool’s errand to keep converting each illicit ounce doomed hands occupied. of booze into pure domestic Once they find out the funviolence). nel cake supplies are critiShirtless people in droves, cally low…God forgive me,

On The Beat

covered only by the errant neck or full-sleeve tattoo.

A man on crutches wearing black socks. Someone appearing to “get their shine on” or daring to wear a rebel flag T-shirt for this brief “Purge”-like week.

You will see the public spanking of children and observe what are clearly drunken men who are for once not vagrants. And inevitably, you’ll see someone entering the grounds on the second day determined to get their money’s worth out of those tickets but not their sunscreen, because they’re already sporting what should be sunburns requiring hospitalization.

An airplane in the sky toting a large red-lettered message may distract you from a bleached-blond girl in a fistfight, but rest assured those are all signs, too. And females wearing “Daisy Dukes” shorts and cowboy boots? They will be covering the festival grounds like bison once covered the Great Plains: As far as the eye can see.

There is no rhyme or

reason for what’s happening around us. Just today a woman smashed into three separate police cars parked on a back street because she left a local emergency room with both arms bandaged and injected with some unidentified chemical at the shoulders, then looked positively baffled when it turns out both arms are required to drive (preferably) in this great state, not to mention having a valid driver’s license. And that was off-site.

I can hear them just outside the blast doors. The “Hey watch this!” cries getting increasingly louder, meaning it’s time to check on them, the scent of Krystals already heavy in the air…

It’s all about the talent on the stages, folks. They are why you’re here and in turn, you are why we are here, but if push comes to shove, don’t ever leave the bunker. Just listen? I wonder if Hanrahan’s solar sail is going to work. You think?

I gotta get out of here.

Damn you, funnel cakes.

Damn you.

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