The Pulse 12.20 » May 14, 2015

may 14, 2015

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

A.J. BAUCCO

ROCKER TO RACER HOW A DRUMMER BECAME A TRIATHLETE

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Contents

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

May 7, 2015 Volume 12, Issue 20

Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors A.J. Baucco • Rob Brezsny • Matt Jones Sandra Kurtz • Louis Lee • Mike McJunkin Tony Mraz • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Editorial Intern Shaun Webster

Features

Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

4 BEGINNINGS: At 75, Bud Wisseman ran his 26th Boston Marathon.

Cover Photos Courtesy AJ Baucco & Jill Clark Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

6 SHADES OF GREEN: Healthy yards don’t need chemicals.

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Randy Johnston Angela Lanham • Rick Leavell Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2015 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

14 ARTS & EVENTS CALENDAR

8

The Rocker Who Became A Racer

Most professional triathletes are groomed for this lifestyle from a young age. Collegiate athletes and junior triathletes are given many opportunities to accept their fate as future professionals in this sport. This was not AJ Baucco's career path. At all.

12

Making It Up As She Goes Along

. Jill Clark’s application of pigment to skin transcends traditional makeup design, conjuring up hauntingly beautiful aesthetics that tread the line between scary and endearing.

20

Three Days of Music and Nature

The sky is blue and all the leaves are green, the sun’s as warm as a baked potato. What, precisely, does this mean? It means festival season is upon us—and that homegrown favorite, Roots Fest, is right around the corner.

17 DIVERSIONS 18 SUSHI & BISCUITS: Is there a winner in the contest of ground corn products?

22 MUSIC CALENDAR 25 REVIEWS: Arms & Nakamura fester and buzz, Fred Thomas gets personal.

26 SCREEN: “Ex Machina” unsettling look at push to create A.I. 28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 on the beat: Officer Alex finds confirmation in New Orleans of his longheld beliefs about firefighters.

ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.

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news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

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The Longevity of the Long Distance Runner At 75, Chattanoogan Bud Wisseman just ran his 26th Boston Marathon

“

Wisseman runs ‘only’ about 40-to-50 miles a week to prepare for Boston these days.”

The sun hasn’t quite made it over the horizon on this crisp April morning, but 75-year-old Bud Wisseman is on a mission. He’s here at the Chickamauga Battlefield to get in a good run, the last before his annual trip to Boston, Massachusetts. You see, Bud hasn’t missed a Boston Marathon in the last 26 years.

And while the weather is cool and a little foggy, Bud has lots of friends here with him to provide motivation.

“I started running back in ’78,” says Wisseman, “when the running boom was going.” Bud learned that he really loved the feeling he got when he just put one foot in front of the other faster

and faster. Sure, running is one thing. But why in the world would someone want to run a marathon—more than 26 miles? “Pretty much everybody that runs regularly starts thinking about getting into marathons,” confesses Wisseman.

After a few years of just running around the neighborhood, he decided to try his hand at a marathon.

He traveled up to Philadelphia to compete, but failed to finish. louis lee While humbling, it also made him more determined to succeed.

Wisseman had been for running more than a decade when he first considered the granddaddy of all non-Olympic marathons.

The one they hold in Bean Town. At first, he didn’t even think he could qualify. “So, in ’89 I did run a qualifying time,” says Wisseman of his first trip to Boston. “It’s sort of a neat town. Red Sox, a lot of runners, good seafood…and I just wanted to go back.” And he did. Again and again, 25 times over the last 25 years.

He was there two years ago when terrorists set off two bombs along the race course.

“Fortunately, being old and slow I was a couple of miles down the course when the bomb went off,” explains Wisseman. “I had no knowledge [of what was occurring]. I was all the way down to Fenway Park when I realized the road was filled up with runners and they were actually walking back.” Bud’s wife was only about three-tenths of a mile

News

4 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

from the blast. But neither had any worries about returning the following year. The tradition would continue.

This year, however, was the first that Bud’s wife wouldn’t be joining him. She underwent open-heart surgery two weeks before this morning’s practice run. She would have to cheer him on from home. Bud says she’s his motivation. But with about a dozen local runners braving the chilly temperatures on the battlefield this day, Bud feels as though he can muster up the strength for at least one more marathon.

“You get old and slow,” says Wisseman. “It’s a lot more painful.” His left knee is wrapped, lending credence to his words.

Wisseman runs “only” about 40-to-50 miles a week to prepare for Boston these days. Still quite a feat for a 75 year old.

Bud told The Pulse he was less confident in this run than he was for his first Boston Marathon. Yet he needn’t have worried. Wearing bib number 25548, Wisseman crossed the finish line on April 20 in 5 hours and 24 minutes, having achieved a pace of 12:23 per mile—and another personal victory.

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

HOME GAMES

Help Celebrate National Bike Month Outdoor Chattanooga has gone the extra mile to ensure that enjoying National Bike Month really is as easy as…well, riding a bike. This month a basketful of free cycling events and activities are being offered to get the city off four wheels and onto two.

On Friday, May 15, commuters can celebrate National Bike to Work Day by joining colleagues and friends on

a ride to the office. Designated routes will follow bike lanes, greenways, and bike-friendly roads to allow people of all ability and coordination the chance to join in the fun. Also, if in need of a quick pit stop, all cyclists are invited to join Outdoor Chattanooga between 7 - 9 a.m. for a special breakfast at Waterhouse Pavilion in Miller Plaza.

Other events include an historic

IN THIS ISSUE

AJ Baucco Our cover story this week on how a "rocker became a racer" is by professional triathlete AJ Baucco.

From his time as the drummer for Cleveland, Ohio's then-popular Chaotic Alliance to his tenure at Cleveland State University studying mathmatics and teaching on

guided bicycle tour of Orchard Knob with Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Service rangers on Saturday, May 16, and, for the more adventurously inclined, Street Cycling 101 lessons on Monday, May 18, taught by League of American Bicyclists certified instructors.

Whether you’re a biking bumbler or a serious pedal-pusher, this month is a perfect opportunity to celebrate the unique power of the bicycle—and probably, the helmet.

Visit outdoorchattanooga.com for more information. — Shaun Webster

Sat, May 16 • 7:15 PM vs. Montgomery

Scout Night • The Fur Circus

Sun, May 17 • 5:15 PM vs. Montgomery

First Responder's Day

Mon, May 18 • 11:15 PM vs. Montgomery

Business Person Special

Tue, May 19 • 7:15 PM vs. Montgomery

Health & Wellness Night

Wed, May 20 • 7:15 PM vs. Montgomery

Sandra Kurtz to his career-changing decision to take up the life of a professional taithlete, AJ's story is one that is quintessentially American. After his first season, he earned the Professional Rookie of the Year award from USA Triathlon. In 2013, he finished 8th at Ironman Texas and dedicated himself to becomming a full-time Ironman. Since then, he has top 12 Ironman finishes at Texas, Tahoe and Cozumel with more to come.

“Green” columnist Sandra Kurtz has long been active in environmental education and activism. She founded Tennessee Environmental Education Association, created the first educational programs at Chattanooga Nature Center and TVA Energy Center Museum, and

started Bellefonte Efficiency & Sustainability Team. She has consulted with National Environmental Trust, Clear the Air, Global Action Plan, and Sierra Club. Currently she is Urban Century Institute director, South Chickamauga Creek Greenway Alliance co-chairman, TN Environmental Council board member, Blue Ridge Environmental Defense League VicePresident and TN Greenways & Trails Council member. chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 5

Back to Nature at Your House Healthy yards don’t need chemicals. Simple solutions are best.

“

Good soil is a multi-tasker.

It serves as a sponge, a filter, and a trap, purifying air and water as it binds oil, metals and pesticides while providing antioxidants to plants.”

April showers bring May protozoa, insects and flowers. earthworms mixed in That old adage surely with root hairs, clay, silt applies this year given and sand. Then we purall that rain we witnessed chase fertilizer or malast month. A local farmer nure plus those little once told me never to perlite or vermiculite plant anything before mini-ball polymers, all to May 1. replace So—now’s w h a t ’s Shades the time! missing, in of Green H o w e v e r, hopes of flowers soil rejuSANDRA KURTZ need more venation. than just water. They Given some alone time, need healthy soil, as do nature will do this betwe humans and wildlife. ter—and for free.

Without it, food nutri Astounding fact: One ents are diminished. teaspoon of healthy To start our gardens, soil can have over 4 bilwe purchase topsoil that lion microorganisms! was cooked and cleaned, That’s a good thing. Such thereby destroying all an intricate food web the ingredients vital for breaks down pesticides nutritious soil, nameand hydrocarbon pollutly bacteria, nematodes, ants, immobilizes heavy

metals, and serves as a disease-control mechanism. Nutrients get recycled into a form easily accessible by roots and their hairs.

Good soil is a multitasker. It serves as a sponge, a filter, and a trap, purifying air and water as it binds oil, metals and pesticides while providing antioxidants to plants. It’s also good for stormwater retention and climate change moderating.

What if your soil is bad? Make compost.

You can find plenty of recipes and instructions online, but here’s one: Combine 1 part greens (vegetable food scraps) with 2 or 3 parts brown (dead leaves, sawdust, cardboard). Water a little and occasionally mix to toss air into it. Add earthworms if desired.

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tainers, but a pile on the ground works, too.

What if your soil is toxic? Try phytoremediation. It turns out that some plant species have an amazing capacity to take up toxic compounds and/or bind heavy metals in soil. Chattanooga, with its heavy manufacturing past, has many areas with unhealthy soil.

Washington Street in the Southside used to have an auto repair shop with old vehicles likely leaking oil and gas.

That’s gone now, but Chattanooga Collaborative Senior Housing (CCSH) has purchased the land and intends to build shared living space there to establish an urban walkable, bikeable lifestyle. Design and resident arrangements are in process.

Meanwhile, instead of constant mowing, a scenic meadow will grow

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and phytoremediate, thereby mitigating any unhealthy soil that may be present.

Such a simple solution allows nature to do the work of collecting any contaminants. Yet, the current city landscaping ordinance is not conducive to such remedies.

The very subjective City Landscaping Ordinance Manual says: “The property owner shall be responsible for the maintenance of all provided landscaping. All landscaped areas must present a healthy, neat and orderly appearance and shall be kept free from refuse and weeds. Any dead or diseased plant material shall be replaced by the property owner with new plantings that meet the requirements of this Article.”

Growing a meadow in your front

yard will likely get you a visit from the Landscape Inspector—probably driven by a neighbor complaint. The inspector will ask for your landscape plan and your permit. You will be informed that your grass is too tall and filled with weeds. You will be directed to remove all the biodiversity and that dead tree left for woodpeckers because it’s not healthy, neat and orderly.

Unbeknownst apparently to many, such a lawn produces healthy soil, keeping diseasecausing organisms in check and providing free services beneficial to all life. That’s beautiful!

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute.

Visit her website at enviroedu.net

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8 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

COVER STORY

The Rocker Who Became A Racer

What does it take for a drummer to make himself a pro triathlete?

Story by AJ Baucco Photos courtesy baucco.com

Editor’s note: AJ Baucco is among the triathletes competing in Saturday, May 17’s first ever Chattanooga Ironman 70.3 triathlon. We asked him to tell us about his unique journey.

I

t doesn’t take long for most strangers to realize that I’m not a typical professional triathlete. Most professional triathletes are groomed for this lifestyle from a young age. Collegiate athletes and junior triathletes are given many opportunities to accept their fate as future professionals in this sport.

“

Just like I once couldn’t keep the most basic rhythm on a drum set, I once couldn’t swim across a 25-yard pool or run a mile down the road.”

So what about the kid who spent his more formative years behind a drum set?

What are the chances that he’d become a professional athlete?

I often get asked how someone could just fall into the triathlete lifestyle. How could I spend years traveling and playing music—and then wake up one morning and completely change my life?

Most people see musicians and athletes as polar opposites, but any path to success has similarities. With any major occupational change, the lifestyle is going to be different, but I paved my way in each field the exact same

way, and the outcome has been very similar. There isn’t some secret to being successful. I learned that at a very young age, and it’s opened many doors.

By summer of 2004, my band’s teenage hobby had already started to gain some serious traction. The music scene in Cleveland, Ohio knew us as a young and aggressive punk rock quartet.

Everyone involved with local music had heard of us because of our live performances. On any given Saturday night in Cleveland, we’d have a couple hundred anxious fans strung along S. >> Continued on page 10

chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 9

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10 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Taylor Rd, outside of the infamous Rhythm Room, waiting to get inside. The vibe in that run-down punk rock club was absolutely electric. As the club’s lights faded out, the crowd would slowly start pushing toward the tiny stage.

Penetrating the darkness, a small flame would jump from my lighter to the tops of my cymbals. The guitar’s feedback would resonate as both of my cymbals were engulfed in fire.

On our first note, the cymbals’ vibration would blast the small flame into a fire ball that could singe off eyebrows while shooting towards the club’s ceiling. The crowd, completely disregarding the fact that an untrained teenager just got away with setting his drums on fire, would smash farther onto the stage, sometimes taking it over completely. The walls of that tattered club pulsed along with the beat as the crowd screamed along to every single word.

Many musicians would do anything to get signed to a major record label and travel the country performing in a different city every night. We never really thought much of it. Putting out our first record and then touring was part of

our natural progression as musicians. Some would say that we got lucky, but luck had nothing to do with it. People may have similar opinions about my progression in the sport of triathlon.

The misconception is that I was born with this athletic ability. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Just like I once couldn’t keep the most basic rhythm on a drum set, I once couldn’t swim across a 25yard pool or run a mile down the road. There are very few people who have ever really seen my progression as either a musician or an athlete.

Outsiders only see the performance or the outcome; they rarely see the progression. When the band started back in 2002, we were far from even tolerable. However, being inexperienced or unskilled never deterred us. We lived and breathed music in those early years. It was our identity. It was all we talked about and all we did.

It completely consumed us. We started to become better musicians because we all contained the same desire for success.

When I finally left the band in 2008, I was completely open for something else to consume me.

I had just spent the last six years performing.

I had grown accustomed to the spotlight and joining the workforce didn’t seem appealing.

I had already started messing around with triathlons, and I knew that if I wanted it badly enough, I could make a career out of racing triathlons. Becoming a faster triathlete was exactly the same as becoming a good drummer.

I needed to live and breathe triathlon. I needed to go “all in” once again. With patience, hard work, consistency and time, I knew I could be as good as anyone in the world.

Shortly after I ended my career as a drummer, I found myself on the open road heading west.

I had read in a triathlon magazine that some of the best triathletes in the world trained in Tucson, Arizona. Without hesitation, I sold most of my belongings and headed out to this triathlon mecca. Living in Tucson was a total immersion in endurance sports. I immediately sought out the best athletes and hung around them until I was invited to their workouts. They were all on a completely different athletic level, but now I knew what it was going to take to be the best.

Years passed and I slowly started to progress, but I wasn’t naïve; I knew that this progression was going to take more than a few years.

The band’s success hadn’t come overnight and neither would any athletic success. Once again, I knew that there was a long road ahead of me.

Most people wouldn’t consider playing music to have any relation to racing as a professional triathlete. On the other hand, I have been able to see so many similarities. My life has always

revolved around the preparation. But that preparation would have meant nothing without the performance. I get the same nervous feelings during race week that I did in the days leading up to a big gig. Racing, like playing a gig, is a chance to show everyone what I am capable of.

It’s how I will leave my legacy.

No one talks about the band that they heard playing in a garage—and no one cares about the person that sprinted past them on the running trails. The performance is the only time that it counts. I’ve always known that, and it’s driven me onto the stage or to the starting line hundreds of times. Years of playing music have shaped the way I function. It developed my work ethic and showed me how to succeed.

It taught me that any achievement is created from within. Playing, even briefly, in a successful band, laid the groundwork for my career as a professional triathlete. For me, it was even more effective than any athletic path I could have followed at that age. It taught me how to follow a dream, and it made me exactly who I am today.

For more information about the Ironman 70.3, visit ironman.com/triathlon/events/ americas/ironman-70.3/chattanooga For more info about AJ Baucco, visit: Web: baucco.com Twitter: @irunshirtless Facebook: /ajbaucco chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 11

ARTS SCENE

Making It Up As She Goes Along In search of everyday beauty, artist Jill Clark’s canvas is the human face and form

O

The Zine Zenie Is Back Chattanooga Zine Fest festoons Library's Fourth Floor No rules. No restrictions. No editorial do’s and don’ts. When it comes to the Chattanooga Zine Festival, the stranger the better.

Zines are independently published books and magazines that put the power back in the hands of the writer. Each zine is different, as every genre from poetry to politics to perzines (personal journals) is covered in its own unique way.

The event gives readers the chance to look past everyday mainstream publications, and explore the works of amateur authors from across the Southeast.

With all this creative freedom it’s hard to imagine what to expect. Tip: expect nothing. Zines are impul-

sive, unpredictable combinations of art and craft. Authors have complete control over all aspects of design and content. Think of them as little red buttons that read “Do Not Push.” We both know what happens next.

Zine readings, trading and selling opportunities, and zine-making workshops run by featured authors make up the rest of the schedule.

Hundreds of vintage zines from private owners will also be on view.

The collection will be displayed on the Fourth Floor of the Chattanooga Downtown Public Library and can be viewed on Saturday, May 16 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

— Shaun Webster

Thu5.14

fri5.15

sat5.16

street art

dance time

animal fun

Art Wise: Distinguished Speakers at the Hunter Presents Gajin Fujita

WEAVE: Spring Dance Showcase

Spirits In The Wild

Gajin Fujita shares more about his work, his process and his career in support of his exhibition.

6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 756-2787 huntermuseum.org

Dance favorites including Bernadette Upton’s “Nerds” and “Hallelujah,” as well as “The Wizard of Oz”.

7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 954-0115 weavedancecompany.com

Guests will be able to meet many of the zoo's residents, enjoy the zoo after-hours and groove to live music—all while supporting the zoo.

7 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org

12 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

ne of Chattanooga’s most successful artists is challenging her media as well as society’s concept of what art is. Jill Clark’s application of pigment to skin transcends traditional makeup design, conjuring up hauntingly beautiful aesthetics that tread the line between scary and endearing. Her work can be seen on actors and models, on the stage, in films, in music videos, photo shoots, and on the runway.

Arts tony mraz

“

Makeup is my medium and people are my canvas. I want to blur the line of the hierarchy of visual arts vs. fashion.”

The Pulse: When did you first start making art?

Jill Clark: When I was 5, I won a contest for drawing a squirrel on a stump.

My art teacher pulled my mom aside and told her I was meant to be an artist. Being young, I just loved to draw; it was my escape and it allowed me to express what I couldn’t in real life.

Later, when I got accepted into the Chattanooga Center for Creative Arts, it became a changing point. I realized that I couldn’t do anything else, nor did I want to. My calling ached to have a voice, and visual art gave it that. It was during this period that my colors started to take on their signature style: bright jewels surrounded by awkward, muted tones.

TP: How did you get into the field of makeup design?

JC: Initially, I never thought of makeup as an artistic outlet. Then, in 2005, one of my classmates told me about a local company that was hiring someone to custom blend and make color. She thought of me because I am colorist by nature. As soon as I started blending colors, I fell in love. It’s an art form that came from a happy place. I didn’t look at it as girly or product-driven. Instead,

Photographer: Max Eremine · Model: Berkeley Clayborne · Hair and makeup: Jill E. Clark

it’s exactly like painting, thinking of anatomy, bone structure, muscles, and skin tone/ body chemistry. Every face is a unique canvas. Designing the look of the characters is one of my favorite parts of makeup. You get to know the character visually.

TP: So you consider makeup design to be a fine art form?

JC: I do; it’s even along the lines of being an ephemeral art! Photographers, cinematographers, film magazines, fashion trends, websites, paintings, and even Instagram keeps makeup artistry archival. I use color theory, line, shape, shading, contouring, blending, sculpting techniques, and composition theory that I learned from art school in my makeup creations. I always think about anatomy while contouring and blending makeup on the face. I have to understand the bone structure of the face

“I find beauty in everything: nature, found objects, physical beauty and emotion. Each carries a story that is relatable.” for my placement of makeup, so it looks three-dimensional, not flat and lifeless. Makeup is my medium and people are my canvas. I want to blur the line of the hierarchy of visual arts vs. fashion, making an even playing field that both the fine art world and fashion world will want to look upon and take as their own. To reach both and move them into emotion is a big deal for me. It’s not just a cupcakefrosted-sex-kitten surface, it’s an exchange of “I see and acknowledge you, thank you for moving me.”

TP: What kind of materials and methods do you use?

JC: The materials and methods are always a bit of a kitchen-sink approach. I’m always thinking outside the box and trying to be cost-effective, using art supply stores, thrift shops, Home Depot, makeup stores and found objects. Overall, each project has its own set of materials.

TP: What inspires your choice of color and shading?

JC: Inspiration for my color palette comes from horror and science fiction films, paintings, nature and decomposing objects. My color palette and style of makeup changes with every job. I can look at a person and know

what color direction to put them in without having to think about it.

TP: What is beauty?

JC: I find beauty in everything: nature, found objects, physical beauty and emotion. Each carries a story that is relatable. I remember the movie “American Beauty” and the plastic bag floating in the air that was considered beautiful. Visual art, photographs, paintings, magazines, movies, ads, and literature tell us what we should think beauty is; it’s ingrained.

But we aren’t robots! Beauty isn’t just young and gender-specific. With age you see the life that grows within us. I see beauty in being strong, and beauty in letting someone see us at our most vulnerable. Beauty is complex.

•••• To see more of Jill Clark’s art, visit jilleclark.com

chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 13

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ARTS CALENDAR

Presents

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Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St., St. 107 (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery and Landscape Co. 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Growing Herbs 3:30 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery and Landscape Co. 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Southeastern Climbers Coalition Fundraiser 5 p.m.

The Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com Free Family Night 5:30 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Art Wise: Distinguished Speakers at the Hunter Presents Gajin Fujita 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave.

14 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com RCSmusic2.375x9.8.indd 1

5/11/15 11:42 AM

Classical Russian Academy Workshop (423) 756-2787 huntermuseum.org Mainstreet Cleveland Exhibit Opening 6 p.m.

Museum Center at Five Points 200 Inman St. E (423) 33905745 museumcenter.org Braiding Class 6:30 p.m.

Studio 59 Salon & Spa 2309 Hickory Valley Rd. (423) 894-1175 studio59salonspa.com “To Kill a Mockingbird” Discussion Group 7 p.m.

Barnes & Noble 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd.

(423) 893-0186 barnesandnoble.com Broadway Near You: “Driving Miss Daisy”

Pulse Pick: Dean Napolitano A true storyteller with imaginative delivery that makes audiences feel as if they have been through each experience themselves. Classic with a modern twist.

Dean Napolitano The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

7:30 p.m.

East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace Majestic 12 301 Broad St. carmike.com Kopecky 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

friday5.15 National Bike to Work Day 7 a.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 outdoorchattanooga.com Monoprinting for Every Artist 9 a.m.

Art Creations 7351 Commons Rd. (423) 531-7606 art-creations.com Endangered Species Day 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 311 N Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org Home School Workshop: A Lasting Impression 10 a.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 756-2787 huntermuseum.org Classical Russian Academy Workshop instructed by Daud & Timur Akhriev 11 a.m.

Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St., St. 107 (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Meet the Artist: “Contemplation of the Spirit” 6:30 p.m.

River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Chattanooga Clarinet Choir 7 p.m.

North River Civic Center 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924 chattanooga.gov WEAVE: Spring Dance Showcase 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 954-0115

ARTS CALENDAR

Chattanooga Market Strawberry Festival weavedancecompany.com Dean Napolitano 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

saturday5.16 Charity Event: 5K Run and Family-Friendly Walk 7:30 a.m.

Reainassance Park 200 River St. kintera.org Sixth National Armed Forces Freedom Ride 8 a.m.

Thunder Creek Harley-Davidson 7720 Lee Hwy. (423) 996-6303 thundercreekharley.com Monoprinting for Every Artist 9 a.m.

Art Creations 7351 Commons Blvd.

(423) 531-7606 art-creations.com Sensory Saturday 9 a.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Tai Chi at Northgate Library 9:30 a.m.

Northgate Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org Orchard Knob Bicycle Tour

9:30 a.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 3074 Hickory Valley Rd. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Zine Fest 10 a.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Make it & Take it: Build A Fairy Garden 10 a.m.

Ooltewah Nursery and Landscape Co. 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Tai Chi Classes 11 a.m.

Eastgate Library 5705 Marlin Rd. (423) 855-2689 chattlibrary.org PopTots: Chattanooga Symphony & Opera String Quartet Noon Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Chess Club 3 p.m.

South Chattanooga Library 925 West 39th St. (423) 825-7237 chattlibrary.org High School Choir Concert 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Christian School 3354 Charger Dr. (423) 362-4054

ccsk12.com Jill Andrews 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Spirits In The Wild 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Montgomery Biscuits 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com The Backstage Bash 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com WEAVE: Spring Dance Showcase 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 954-0115 weavedancecompany.com Dean Napolitano 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

sunday5.17 Ironman 70.3

Chattanooga Triathlon 7 a.m.

Ross’s Landing Riverfront Pkwy.

(303) 444-4316 ironman.com Chattanooga Market: EPB Strawberry Festival 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Jazzanooga Presents: Brunch At The Hunter 11 a.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 756-2787 huntermuseum.org Mono Printmaking 1 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org WEAVE: Spring Dance Showcase 2:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 954-0115 weavedancecompany.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Montgomery Biscuits 5:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Dean Napolitano 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch

OPEN

undays!

Saturdays & S

“Top 10 Extreme Thrill” - Groupaway Travel Magazine

RubyFallsZip.com 423.821.2544

chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 15 RFZIPStreamSS.375x9.8.indd 1

5/11/15 11:37 AM

ARTS CALENDAR

Ready...

Set...

Pour!

Latte Art Competition

3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday5.18

Check out our great selection of wine, spirits & high gravity beer.

Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile...

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Montgomery Biscuits 11:15 a.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com One Step at a Time 6 p.m.

Shepherd Community Center 2124 Shepherd Rd. (423) 855-2697 chattanooga.gov Street Cycling 101 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Team EtsyNooga Meeting: Home Based Shopping Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-3510 chattlibrary.com Southside Casual Classics 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

tuesday5.19 It’s Time For Summer Reading

16 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

9 a.m.

Barnes & Noble 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd.

(423) 893-0186 store-locator. barnesandnoble.com Filmmaker Amy Oppenheimer Speech and Luncheon Noon Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Latte Art Competition 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Montgomery Biscuits 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

wednesday5.20 Chattanooga Market 3 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Origami 101 6:30 p.m.

Cadence Coffee Co.

11 E. 7th St. (423) 521-7686 thechattery.org Jewish Film Series: “The Muses of Isaac Bashevis Singer” 7 p.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Montgomery Biscuits 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

ongoing “Contemplation of the Spirit” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com "Change Is Good!"

In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Spring Season at Blackwell 71 Eastgate Loop (423) 344-5643 chattanoogaphoto.org “Eudora Welty and the Segregated South” The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Gajin Fujita”

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “New on View II” The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org The Alice E. and Joseph H. Davenport, Jr. Collection The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Mixed Media, Contemporary & Abstract” Reflections Gallery 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgalleryTN.com “Indivisible: AfricanNative American Lives in the Americas” The Museum Center at Five Points 200 Inman St. E (423) 33905745 museumcenter.org Local Homeless & Nontraditional Artists Exhibition Hart Gallery 110 E. Main St. (423) 521-4707 hartgallerytn.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. What follows below is one of my very favorite quotes. This is but one definition of “faith,” and faith can be a tricky one. There are all kinds of faith; faith in the God of Your Understanding, the cosmos, each other, certainly faith in oneself. There must be some measure of faith in yourself for any positive, intentional change to occur.

Even if your knees are knocking and there’s sweat on your brow, to continue walking forward requires that small voice inside to take a turn, to step into the spotlight, even for just a moment, and say, “I can do this. I will be OK.” “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly.” — Patrick Overton, from his book of poems, The Leaning Tree, 1975 chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 17

THE FINEST IN

Grits Versus Polenta

WINE&SPIRITS

Is there a winner in the contest of iconic ground corn products?

We will meet or beat any advertised price and special order any wine available in the Chattanooga Market!

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While my date may have oversimplified the similarities, grits and polenta have more in common than not and this revelation caused me to rethink my own relationship with all things gritrelated.”

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Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

18 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

In spite of having grown up in the had tried in the past? It turned out South, I was never a big fan of grits. that while my date may have overMy family didn’t really eat grits (we simplified the similarities, grits and were oatmeal people), so my initial polenta have more in common than encounters with this Southern stanot and this revelation caused me ple were limited to poorly made into rethink my own relationship with stant versions served all things grit-related. in greasy spoon dinPolenta has been Sushi & ers that even Guy Fimilled in Italy for eri would evict from centuries. It’s made Biscuits Flavortown. from dried kernels of For nearly a decade, corn that have been MIKE McJUNKIN I thought all grits ground until they were virtually flavorless, grainy, reach a fine, course consistency. paste-like globs of aquarium subOnce milled, the corn is separated strate, and I would shamelessly deinto two parts: the flour and the ride anyone who dared an attempt grain. at convincing me otherwise. Then I In the past, the flour was left for tried polenta. the owner of the mill in exchange My first bite of polenta was prefor the use of the grindstone while pared by a chef at one of Atlanta’s the remaining grains were taken finest Italian restaurants. It was home and cooked as polenta. This smooth and creamy, served with rustic dish is as much a part of Italshiitake mushrooms, roasted pepian food culture as grits are to the pers and tomato filets with a garlic Southern US—maybe even more. lemon sauce. But most importantly, The Italians are so serious about it was stunningly flavorful and delitheir polenta that around the end of cious. the 18th century, a gastronomic soI had heard of polenta prior to ciety was created just to protect the that first taste so many years ago, dish’s use and to celebrate its place but I was floored at how I could in Italian culture. Then in the 19th century, the Prima Patria Poi Pohave been missing out on such a lenta Society was formed under the wonderful addition to my personal slogan “First the homeland, then food roster. the polenta!”

I asked, “What is polenta?” and Polenta is traditionally made from my date immediately responded, flint corn, a vastly different type of “It’s Italian grits.” I was shocked corn from the dent corn that grits and incredulous. are typically made from. Flint corn What relationship could this holds its texture better than Southbeautifully saporous bite of food ern dent corn, making polenta more have to the painfully awful grits I

toothsome than the mushier texture of its Southern cousin. Additionally, corn for polenta is usually more finely ground, making even coarse-ground polenta finer in texture and more naturally flavorful than medium stone-ground grits.

Like polenta, grits start as dried kernels of corn, which are then ground to a course meal, but the main difference between the two is that grits are typically converted to hominy and then re-dried before being ground into the final product. Hominy is essentially dried corn that has gone through nixtamalization, a process in which the corn is soaked or cooked in a mineral lime bath, lye or wood ash.

Nixtamalization loosens the hulls from the kernels and softens them as well as bringing out the distinct corn flavor and aroma of the grain. In a process almost identical to polenta, the kernels are then milled, the flour and grain are separated; and the grain is what we know as grits.

But all of the similarities and dif-

ferences between the two are simply academic hair-splitting compared to the real question—taste.

Unfortunately, there is no clear answer to the question of “Which tastes better?” The answer partly depends on which you grew up eating and partly on which best suits the meal you are preparing.

Since polenta is more finely ground, it has a smoother flavor that pairs well with rich tomato sauces, hearty meats and umamipacked ingredients like mushrooms. Grits, on the other hand, have a more robust and less subtle flavor that holds up well against bold cheeses, shrimp and lots of creamery butter.

I’ve begun to enjoy grits, now that I’ve experienced the beauty of a skillfully prepared bowl of stone-ground grits with shrimp and fresh goat cheese, and I still love polenta too. Don’t ask a Southerner or an Italian to choose between these two iconic dishes.

Instead let’s celebrate the similarities…and just eat.

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chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 19

1

MUSIC SCENE

Three Days of Music, Nature and More Music

Flowers In Her Hair, Flowers Everywhere Athens, GA does it again with Wrenn The first thing you’ll notice in visiting Wrenn’s (and her band WrennPop’s) website is that visually she’s a complete chameleon. Besides making music, she clearly enjoys the performance aspect of performing—and dresses up for each mood.

You can see for yourself when she sashays into Rhythm & Brews on Thursday, May 14 at 9 p.m. “Sometimes fun & quirky and at other times gravely beautiful, Athens’ newly crowned pop-sweetheart, WrennPop, combines rich, vibrant vocals with powerful songwriting.”

So quotes Sonicbids about the diva’s unpredictable combination of influences and styles. (Let’s put it this way—her most recent YouTube video is described as “Wrenn covers Disney’s ‘So This Is Love’ and Adele’s ‘Chasing Pavements’ in a little ukelele mash-up.”)

She released her first album, Hi,

last November and while it left some reviewers scratching their heads, others got it. “Summer Wind“ has a smoldering arrangement with its brass and piano details. The quirky “Almond Eyes“ keeps things from getting too serious with its fun reggae beat that creeps up on you,” wrote PowerPopaholic. “Some vocal experimentation on “Wild Card“ is the type of thing that keeps you listening, and the melodic tune “Lucy Boy“ is the big payoff. It’s a highlight, almost a show tune and worth the wait.”

You won’t have to wait if you hightail it to R&B Thursday night.

— Janis Hashe WrennPop Thursday, 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

thu5.14

fri5.15

SAT5.16

melodic groove

reggae rocking

dynamic duo

Kopecky

Roots of Rebellion

John & Michelle

Groove-driven, melodyheavy alt-pop that’s intensely emotional and strangely exhilarating.

7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com

Heavy reggae-rock-dub music for the soul by way of Nashville. With special guests CBDB. 8 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

Harmony in voice and guitar makes this duo a must-see.

8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960

20 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Roots Fest celebrates bountiful local talent in beautiful setting all weekend long

T

he sky is blue and all the leaves are green, the sun’s as warm as a baked potato. What, precisely, does this mean? It means festival season is upon us—and that homegrown favorite, Roots Fest, is right around the corner. The threeday celebration runs May 22-24 at Cherokee Farms in LaFayette, GA (about 40 minutes south of Chattanooga), and this year boasts one of the most exciting schedules of local performers to date.

Music marc t. michael

“

Roots Fest has always been, first and foremost, about the music. This year’s lineup is as wonderful a collection of local talent as you’ll find in one place.”

The festival, now in its ninth year, was originally conceived by Chattanooga musician Ada Barnes as a showcase for local performers. The event has risen from humble beginnings (most of the attendees at the first Roots Fest were performers and staff) to a robust celebration that saw well over 1,500 music lovers attending last year.

Many factors have contributed to the success of Roots Fest. There’s the location: Cherokee Farms is gorgeous, wellsuited to festivals and gatherings, and is hardly even a hop down the road. The event is family-friendly. Kids under age 12 are admitted free and have their own arts and crafts tent, waterslide and other amusements.

Lovers of the great outdoors can enjoy swimming, fishing and hiking, nightly bonfires and spontaneous drum circles. Camping is free, hot showers are free and a host of vendors will be offering a wide range of food options. The Magical Forest Lounge features The Hillbilly Bar, an assortment of games and group-led meditation, yoga, and t’ai chi.

Wanna Help Some Birds with Fleas?

The Roots Fest staff and volunteers gather together to celebrate another great festival.

“Lovers of the great outdoors can enjoy swimming, fishing and hiking, nightly bonfires and spontaneous drum circles.”

Roots Fest has always been, first and foremost, about the music. This year’s lineup is as wonderful a collection of local talent as you’ll find in one place. Scheduled performers include Hot Damn, MDAHTS, Danimal Planet, The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Nick Lutsko, the Ryan Oyer Band, the Jess Goggans Band, The Iscariots, Decibella, Tab Spencer, Jon Wimpee, the Molly Maguires, Marlow Drive, Shabti, Donna Hopkins, CBDB, Jalil Muhammad and Triple Threat, Stereo Dig, the Reigns, the Average and more still to be announced.

Beyond the list of scheduled

events, Roots Fest has always hosted a variety of wandering, unscheduled performers.

Jugglers, poi spinners, artists and painters, that shoeless guy with a guitar who knows how to play “Wish You Were Here” (sort of) and, if you are lucky, you may catch a glimpse of the lone bagpipe player (Chris Armstrong of the Wolfhounds) ringing in the day from atop the hill. If you are VERY lucky, your tent won’t be too close when this happens.

Tickets are now available at

roots-fest.com.

Advance ticket prices are $20 for a day pass, $35 for a twoday pass and $45 for the entire weekend.

Tickets purchased at the gate will be $25, $40 and $50 respectively. Gates open at noon on Friday, May 22. You can also find Roots Fest 2015 on Facebook.

The small army of volunteers it takes to run this event help to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone, and these largely unsung heroes do it for the sheer love of it.

For quality, convenience, atmosphere and cost, you won’t find a better value.

Indie-rock band Birds with Fleas has big plans for a new album and they’re turning to Kickstarter to make it happen. The band started life as a solo project, getting by with a little help from some friends before eventually morphing in to the full-fledged outfit audiences know and love today.

Matt Siegel, Drew Daniels, Spencer Karges and James Skelley have spent the last three years honing their skills, refining their stage show and writing, rewriting, crumpling up, uncrumpling and rewriting yet again a collection of tunes that are now ready to be committed to the ages.

Ten tunes comprise the new album, Wider Seas, slated for release in September (pending completion funds).

The album represents the culmination of those three years worth of effort—and given the popularity and success of the band, one can safely assume it’s going to be potent stuff.

The Kickstarter campaign, running until June 7, accepts backing donations as low as $2 (backers receive a free digital download of their newest single) all the way up to $1,000, which gets the pledging person their own private concert (as well as a bundle of swag). Other premiums include vinyl albums, hand-written lyrics, a guest appearance on the album and even a signed ukulele used on previous recordings.

Interested parties can find the relevant links on Facebook, the Birds with Fleas website or by going to Kickstarter and searching for Birds with Fleas.

— MTM

chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 21

LIVE MUSIC

MAY

14 SAME AS IT EVER WAS FRI 10p 15 RUBIKS GROOVE SAT 9:30P 16 CAROLINE ROSE WED 8p 20 SMOOTH DIALECTS FRI 10p 22 MATT STEPHENS SAT 9p 23 WED SUNDY BEST 9p 27 WRENNPOP

ATHENS, GA’S “QUEEN OF POP”

THU 9p

A TRIBUTE TO THE TALKING HEADS

ALL THE HITS OF THE '80S & MORE with SPECIAL GUEST RYE BABY

with THE GREAT BARRIER REEFS

A PARTY FROM BEGINNING TO END!

ONE OF THE HOTTEST ACTS AROUND

5.28 JOHNNY BALIK & THE HOUSE BAND 5.29 ARPETRIO with DANIMAL PLANET

COMING IN JUNE

JOEY WINSLETT BAND with MARLOW DRIVE

MASSEUSE

with CHARLIE THE HEAD

FRI 10p

5

SAT 10p

6

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Derek Wayne Martin

thursday5.14 Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Ringgold Nutrition Center 144 Circle Dr., Ringgold (706) 935-2541 Neshawn Calloway and ATCSO 7 p.m.

Signal Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave. signalmacc.org Kopecky 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Feel It Thursday Open Mic 7 p.m.

Mocha Restaurant & Music Lounge 511 Broad St. mochajazz.net Bluegrass and Country Jam 7 p.m.

Grace Nazarene Church 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Waterfall Wash, Body of Light, Cautious Beverly, Tab Spencer

22 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Wrennpop, Iron Chef 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

friday5.15 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St.

Pulse Pick: Sara Beth Go The prolific singersongwriter has been weathered by Nashville’s music machine, some heartache, and the great battle with her own brain…but stayed afloat and writing with a few triumphs.

Sara Beth Go Sunday, 2 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Birds With Fleas 7 p.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com John & Michelle 7 p.m.

Magoo’s Restaurant 3658 Ringgold Rd. facebook.com/MagoosTN Tim Levis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Roots of Rebellion, CBDB 8 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Full Moon Crazies, River City Hustlers, Crass Mammoth 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com San Fermin 8 p.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Priscilla & Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Derek Wayne Martin CD Release, Talking Blues Band 9 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Something Else 9 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy.

MUSIC CALENDAR

Behold The Brave (423) 822-9775 Same As It Ever Was: A Tribute To The Talking Heads 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budsportsbar.com

saturday5.16 Crosspointe Praise Band, Callie Watson, Thrasher Pike Band, Rock Skool, Blue Thunder, Corey Rose, Stallion, The BelAirs, The Beaters 11 a.m.

43rd Annual Down Home Days Festival Downtown Chickamuaga, GA facebook.com/ DownHomeDaysFestival CSO: PopTots Noon Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. chattanoogasymphony.org Charlsey Etheridge 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com

Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Jill Andrews, KS Rhoads 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Tim Levis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com “Spirits In The Wild” with The Peter Moon Band 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. chattzoo.org Behold The Brave, Mad Libre, Swoon 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com John & Michelle 8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960

Priscilla & Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Rubiks Groove 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Courtney Daly Band 9 p.m.

The Brew & Cue 5017 Rossville Blvd. facebook.com/thebewandcue Hap Henninger 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budsportsbar.com

sunday5.17 Dana Rogers 11 a.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View huntermuseum.org Old Time Travelers 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Charlsey Etheridge 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

Broke Down Hound 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Sara Beth Go 2 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Merchandise 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

901 Carter St. Inside City Cafe (423) 634-9191

Thursday, May 14: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, May 15: 9pm Jonathan Wimpee Saturday, May 16: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, May 17: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

Wednesday, May 20: 8pm Blues Night feat. Yattie Westfield Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

citycafemenu.com/the-office

monday5.18 Children’s Open Mic 6:30 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic 7 p.m.

Magoo’s Restaurant 3658 Ringgold Rd. facebook.com/MagoosTN Southside Casual Classics 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com

Since 1982

chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 23

German-American BrewPub

224 Frazier Ave • brewhausbar.com

Caroline Rose

Featured: Spaetzle entrée with vinegar slaw and brussels sprouts w/bacon marmalade

Thursday, May 14 @ 7pm: Blackstone Pint Night Thursday, May 21 @ 7pm: Smuttynose Pint Night Wednesday, May 27 @ 7pm: Founders Pint Night Thursday, May 28 @ 7pm: Big Frog Pint Night

Downtown Chattanooga 401 Broad Street

2020 Gunbarrel Rd. Chattanooga, TN Tel: 423-664-3500

Hixson Pike

5110 Hixson Pike Hixson, TN Tel: 423-870-7772

Farmland Corner

Dalton

Paul Huff Pkwy and Crossing Keith Street 1303 W. Walnut Ave. Cleveland, TN Dalton, GA Tel: 423-476-4878 Tel: 706-229-9147

24 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

tuesday5.19 Bill McCallie & In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Stephen Lee, Endelouz, Nick Shanahan 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

wednesday5.20

Chattanooga, TN 37402 Tel: 423-531-8267 Hamilton Village

Very Open Mic 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com The Other Guys 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 834-9300 Krista Shyanne

7 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budsportsbar.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Priscilla & Lil Rickee 7 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Caroline Rose, Rye Baby 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Adam Faucett and the Tall Grass, General Dollars 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Blues Night with Yattie Westfield 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Record Reviews

ernie paik

Unfettered Ruckus From The East Coast, Smart Richness From Michigan Arms & Nakamura fester and buzz, Fred Thomas gets deeply personal

Many Arms & Toshimaru Nakamura Many Arms & Toshimaru Nakamura (Public Eyesore)

T

o paraphrase an excerpt from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, desperate soldiers with their backs against the wall will lose their sense of fear and fight with everything they have. That bit came to mind when listening to the intense, unrelenting onslaught on the new album from the Philadelphia/NYC trio Many Arms and Japanese musician Toshimaru Nakamura.

The guitar/bass/drum unit Many Arms has built a reputation for its fearsome, noisy free-jazz-

Fred Thomas All Are Saved (Polyvinyl)

rock excursions, mingling with both the downtown NYC avantjazz crowd—its last two albums were on John Zorn’s Tzadik label—and more rock-centric adventurers from across the nation and beyond. Nakamura’s instrument of choice is an unconventional one—the “no-input mixing board,” which has its output connected directly to its input, creating a feedback signal that is manipulated.

The album is divided into four lengthy tracks, each forging ahead

into a different direction with a distinct approach, from the opening 11-minute blitzkrieg to the slowly boiling “II,” which pounds with metal flashes; Nakamura’s feedback tones work its dark magic on several different levels, causing bewilderment and also possibly nausea, with high-frequency squeals.

The prevailing attitude on the album is an ensemble-minded one, with perhaps 90 percent synthesis and 10 percent of a more individualized articulation. The album isn’t simply a monolithic wall of disorder, and the mixing balance allows the listener to adequately hear enough detail for each player among the thorny, scratchy aural flailing; that said, this writer wishes were there a few more moments where each player could break free from the pack temporarily, like on “IV,” where bassist Johnny DeBlase’s quick runs manage to resemble a nimble elephant dancing on pointed toes.

That closing number is the album’s most fascinating track, with smoldering electronics that fester and buzz among a nest of glitches and sparks; the ensemble’s method seems to be of a man buried alive in a coffin who becomes more frantic as he tries to bust

out, turning into an unfettered ruckus. Like Nakamura’s menacing feedback—a cobra eating its own tail—the track envelops the listener like some sonic, creeping mutant kudzu growth.

T

hroughout his career, the music of Michigan multiinstrumentalist/singer/songwriter/ bandleader Fred Thomas has had to bear numerous comparisons— which in general are fair—to the work of figures such as Phil Spector, Brian Wilson, Jonathan Richman and even Lee Perry and the Upsetters.

With his new solo album, All Are Saved, this writer—who has followed Thomas’ prolific career obsessively—can say that it sounds like a true culmination of his musical experiences: a Fred Thomas album, and not a “’60s girl-group pop” album or a “neo-Neil Young” album or whatever. Best known as the front man of the pop-oriented Saturday Looks Good to Me, Thomas has released a number of solo albums along the way, several of which are low-fidelity affairs with songs that sound like unpolished demos without being half-baked sketches. All Are Saved has a richness very different from those albums, and it seems to have

a liberated feeling to it, being free from expectations, resulting in his finest solo album yet.

Thomas builds upon what he has learned for the deeply personal All Are Saved, which has an emotional anchor weighing on the death of a beloved dog; “Unfading Flower” uses a sample loop that could’ve been from his duo City Center, and the wordy gushes of the detail-oriented “Bed Bugs” brings to mind the free-flowing lyrics of “When the Party Ends”

by Saturday Looks Good to Me. While each song sports its own recording method and arrangement—primarily a strum/sing approach with flourishes of brass, electronics and whatever strikes his fancy—several things tie the album together: Thomas’ driven singing with conviction, the carved and crafted word streams crammed into small spaces and the attitude and mood that are more prominent than any notion of genre or nostalgia.

Every time this writer has listened to All Are Saved, he likes it twice as much as the previous time, with Thomas’ flowering concoction bearing his personal, heart-on-its-sleeve style with an ear for smart, stimulating arrangements.

KENNY CHESNEY WITH

ERIC CHURCH

THE BIG REVIVAL TOUR

June 13th @ The Georgia Dome

CAT COUNTRY 95.3 WANTS TO SEND YOU THERE! Get all the details online at CatCountry953.com chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 25

SCREEN SCENE

Making God In The Machine “Ex Machina” an unsettling look at the push to create artificial intelligence

Some Broadway With Your Popcorn

A

ny invitation from an obscenely wealthy individual to spend a week alone in a remote location with only the host should be politely declined, especially if one doesn’t hail from a similar tax bracket.

Lansbury and Jones light up “Driving Miss Daisy” The difference between amateur actors making amateur theatre and top-of-their-game professional actors in professional shows is just like the difference between watching a high school baseball game and the World Series. Sure, there may be some outstanding young high school players…but you have to pay your dues and be the best in the world to make it to The Show.

But most of us don’t get to Broadway as much as we’d like. Luckily, events exist like “Broadway Near You,” filmed versions of great performances you can take in on the

✴✴✴✴

big screen. Of course, you don’t get the ephemeral magic of a live performance. But when it comes to seeing icons James Earl Jones and Angela Lansbury in “Driving Miss Daisy,” it’s a very, very good runner-up. These legends play off—and with—each other in true MVP style.

“Driving Miss Daisy” 7:30 p.m., Thursday, May 14 East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace Majestic 12 311 Broad St. carmike.com

NEW IN THEATERS

Mad Max: Fury Road In a stark desert landscape where humanity is broken, two rebels just might be able to restore order: Max, a man of action and few words, and Furiosa, a woman of action who is looking to make it back to her homeland.

Director: George Miller Stars: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron

✴✴✴✴

Pitch Perfect 2 After a humiliating command performance at Lincoln Center, the Barden Bellas enter an international competition that no American group has ever won in order to regain their status and right to perform.

Director: Elizabeth Banks Stars: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson

26 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Screen john devore

“

The more we study animals, the more we find that consciousness is likely something of a spectrum, rather than a singular achievement.”

It has been proven in fiction, time and time again, that the upper classes rarely have the best interest of their plebian counterparts at heart. There is a very good chance that one will be hunted, manipulated, humiliated or experimented on. It may involve ghosts, buried treasure, or ancient rituals, or one might just be forced to bear witness to unfathomable evil, but someone is going to die and it’s probably going to be horrible for them.

Such is the premise, at least in part, of “Ex Machina,” 2015’s first entry into great science fiction. It’s a slow-burning film about artificial intelligence, one that handles the subject matter with more grace and understanding than “The Avengers: Age of Ultron,” digging deep for philosophical musings and moral ambiguity.

With a minimal cast, the film relies heavily on the character interpretations of its actors, all of whom do an exceptional job in creating an uncomfortable and eerie atmosphere. “Ex Machina” is meant to be an unsettling look at the questions surrounding A.I., asking why this seemingly inevitable technology might be created and what it might mean for its creator.

Mary Shelley first asked these types of questions in 1818 with “Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.” In fact, the creator of Ava, the machine in “Ex Machina,” made his fortune by providing the world with Blue Book, a Google equivalent named for the notes kept by Dr. Frankenstein in the classic tale. Oscar Isaac plays

Nathan Bateman, a billionaire who created the world’s foremost search engine when he was 13. Caleb Smith, one of his employees, is given the opportunity to spend a week with Bateman after winning a company lottery.

He finds out, much to his fascination, that he has been invited to the ends of the Earth to participate in a Turing test to discover if Bateman’s creation shows true intelligence. There is much attention given to what makes a being intelligent.

Playing chess with a computer built for chess doesn’t indicate that the computer is intelligent. Instead, the computer is simply following preprogrammed instructions based on a set of circumstances. True A.I. is capable of making real decisions, based on more than external stimuli. A real Turing test is far more complex than asking an interface a series of questions.

It’s these explanations and discus-

“If a man creates a truly artificial intelligence, with its own personality and emotions and consciousness, what responsibilities does the creator assume?” sions of artificial intelligence that makes the film a success. Lesser films of this nature (“Age of Ultron,” for instance) might focus only on the consequences of creating such a being. “Ex Machina” delves into the heart of the matter. If a man creates a truly artificial intelligence, with its own personality and emotions and consciousness, what responsibilities does the creator assume? Is it cruel to continue testing? To improve programming? To wipe memories? Does this new being have inherent rights?

At what point is consciousness awoken? What about the previous iterations? Do they not have some measure of it as well?

Humans tend to think of consciousness as a binary position. But the more we study animals, the more we find that consciousness is likely something of a spectrum, rather than a singular achievement. The film does an excellent job arguing both sides, showing the positions of both the creator and the observer. What it doesn’t do, to its credit, is attempt to show the argument from the side of the created. The mind of Ava is inherently unknowable, which in my opinion lends credence to her passing the test of artificial intelligence.

Towards the end of the film, the camera is focused on the floor of an airport. We see shadows moving

across the floor, shadows that belong to travelers. We cannot see who is casting these shadows, but we know them to be people based on our own experiences. However, before the screen cuts to black, we see a familiar form cast a shadow of her own. The simple shot, given everything that we’ve seen before, is a reference to Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave.” We have always known that we can trust our eyes to tell us the truth, but now the shadows cannot be trusted. The audience has been dragged, screaming, into the light. The film is warning us against leaving the comfort of our cave because we cannot understand the true nature of being a God. This is an idea common in science fiction, and yet it is a masterful stroke of filmmaking in an already exceptional film. “Ex Machina” is something worth seeing before the summer descends into blockbuster repetition.

chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 14-20, 2015 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

“ Homework: Imagine that everything important you know is condensed into a single symbol or image. What is it?

FreeWillAstrology. com

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The danger of resisting a temptation too strenuously is that the temptation might depart. I suggest that you prevent that from happening. Without throwing yourself at the mercy of the temptation, see if you can coax it to stick around for a while longer. Why? In my view, it’s playing a useful role in your life. It’s motivating you to change some things that really do need to be changed.

On the other hand, I’m not yet sure that it should become anything more than a temptation. It might serve you best that way, not as an object of your satisfied desire.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My astrological colleagues discourage me from talking to you Bulls about financial matters. “Most Tauruses know ten times more about the mystery of money than you will ever know,” said one. “Their excellent instincts trump any tips you could offer.” Another astrologer concurred, noting, “The financial advice you give Tauruses will at best be redundant and at worst simplistic.” A third colleague summed it up: “Offering Tauruses guidance about money is like counseling Scorpios about sex.” So although I’m shy about providing recommendations, I will say this: The next five weeks will be a favorable time to set in motion the plans to GET RICHER QUICKER! GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Endings to be useful must be inconclusive,” wrote science fiction novelist Samuel R. Delany. I endorse that theory for your use in the coming weeks. Interweave it with this advice from playwright Sam Shepard: “The temptation towards resolution, towards wrapping up the package, seems to me a terrible trap. Why not be more honest with the moment?

The most authentic endings are the ones which are already revolving towards another beginning.” In other words, Gemini, don’t be attached to neat finales and splashy climaxes. Consider the possibility that you can simply slip free of the complicated past and head toward the future

28 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

without much fanfare.

accomplish small miracles.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In mythic terms, you should be headed for the winner’s circle, which is inside the pleasure dome. The parade in your honor should follow the award ceremony, and let’s hope you will be on the lead float wearing a gold crown and holding a real magic wand while being sung to by a choir of people you love and who love you. If for any reason you are not experiencing some version of these metaphors, I urge you to find out why. Or better yet, get busy on planning a homecoming or graduation party or award ceremony for yourself. From an astrological perspective, you have a mandate to be recognized and appreciated for the gifts you offer the world.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I suspect you are about to experience some prime contenders for The Most Unusual Adventures of 2015. Are you thoroughly prepared? Of course not. There’s no way you can be totally ready to adapt to unpredictable wrinkles and change your mind at a moment’s notice. But that’s exactly what will make these experiments so fun.

That’s why they will be effective in building up your resilience and willpower. For best results, apply your nighttime thinking to daytime activities, and vice versa. Spend minimal time on responsibilities that don’t teach you noble truths about your fellow madmen and madwomen. Now here’s my big question: How can you tap into the extra power you will need during your rite of passage?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): British Field Marshal Arthur Wellesley was a brilliant military commander. Renowned for his ability to beat larger armies, he also had great skill at minimizing loss of life among his own troops. His most famous triumph took place in 1815, when he led the forces that defeated Napoleon Bonaparte at Waterloo. In the aftermath, the French tyrant lost his power and went into exile. What was the secret of Wellesley’s success? “Bonaparte’s plans were made in wire,” he said. “Mine were made in string.” In other words, Wellesley’s strategy was more flexible and adaptable. As circumstances changed, it could be rearranged with greater ease.

That’s the approach I recommend for you in the coming days.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You may not be strong enough to take a shot at a daunting challenge that’s five levels beyond your previous best. But I think you are at least ready to try a tricky challenge that’s one level higher than where you have been operating.

And that, in my opinion, is a more practical use of your courage. I think it would be a waste of your energy to get wrapped up in grandiose fantasies about impossible perfections. As long as you don’t overreach, you can

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Many modern astronomers are allergic to astrology, but from my perspective there is no inherent conflict between the two fields. Four of history’s greatest astronomers were practicing astrologers, after all: Johannes Kepler, Galileo Galilei, Tycho Brahe, and Pierre Gassendi. One of my friends in college, a Scorpio woman named Martha Maiden, is a firstrate astrologer who got a degree in astronomy and became a top scientist at NASA. In the spirit of finding reconciliation between apparent opposites, I’m happy to say that you are now a virtual virtuoso in your ability to reconcile both apparent opposites and actual opposites. I invite you to use this aptitude with flair and daring.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian Matt Stutzman competes in the sport of archery. He’s the world’s record holder for longest accurate shot, having hit a target 230 yards away. What makes his accomplishment so extraordinary is the fact that he was born without any arms. He holds each arrow in his mouth and grasps the bow with his right foot and the help of a chest harness. In the spirit of this armless archer, and in accordance

with your current astrological omens, I invite you to initiate an attempt to triumph over one of your so-called disadvantages.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Long before Lou Reed recorded the song “Walk on the Wild Side,” Nelson Algren wrote a novel titled A Walk on the Wild Side. It depicts the luxuriant depravity of New Orleans’ French Quarter in the 1930s. One of Algren’s most enduring bits of spiritual advice goes as follows: “Never, ever, no matter what else you do in your whole life, never sleep with anyone whose troubles are worse than your own.” What do you think of that, Capricorn?

Even if you don’t regard it as a universal rule that you should unfailingly obey, I suggest you observe it in the coming weeks.

For the sake of your mental hygiene, be extra discerning about what influences you absorb— not just in bed, but everywhere.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The cosmos has authorized you to be hungrier than usual.

You may also feel free to respond to your enhanced hunger with an extra aggressive quest to be fed. Therefore: Be voracious! Risk being avid, ardent, and even agog. Fill yourself up with pudding, pleasure, praise, peace, perks, and privileges. Anything else you’d like to engorge? If some unenlightened person questions your right to claim the biggest piece and the sweetest taste and the best fuel, inform them that your astrologer says you have ultimate permission.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Is there an interesting ally whose path rarely crosses yours? Do you draw inspiration from a like-minded dynamo who is not fully available? Has fate kept you and a friend from getting as close as you would wish?

According to my reading of the astrological omens, relationships like these could become more substantial in the coming weeks.

The dream of a more robust connection could ripen into an opportunity to actually collaborate.

So be alert for the openings, and be prepared to do what’s necessary to go deeper.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“...And Red All Over”—or at least at the start.

ACROSS 1 Adjust accordingly 6 “The Many Loves of ___ Gillis” 11 Consumed 14 “Against the Wind” singer Bob 15 It’s not what you’d expect 16 Shins genre 17 V-shaped fabric pattern 19 Smith or Taylor 20 Chapter in history 21 “Disco Duck” singer Rick 22 Renaissance Faire title 24 Curly treatment 25 Molly formerly of “SNL” 27 Show up 30 Deli turnover 31 Kazakh character who’s been retired 32 Muscular jocks, stereotypically 36 “South Park” character Cartman 37 Wild hogs

38 Anti-piracy org.

39 Adult contemporary radio fare 41 Like Old King Cole 42 Band with a Ben & Jerry’s flavor named for it 43 Endowment recipients 44 Person on a pension 47 Dad’s sister 48 Big name in violins 49 Killer whale of a 1977 film 50 Hotel amenity 53 Instrument for Stan Getz 54 Lines seen outside the club?

58 50-50, for instance 59 Dasani rival 60 Blackboard stuff 61 Ice Bucket Challenge cause, for short 62 “Touched by an Angel” actress Reese 63 Sharpens DOWN 1 Tennis Hall of Famer Arthur

2 “Caught in the headlights” animal 3 Taj Mahal’s locale 4 Part of MPH 5 Neptune prop 6 Mascot of Kellogg’s Honey Smacks 7 Odist’s spheres 8 Haunted house greeting 9 “Canterbury Tales” locale 10 Hair that’s wished upon 11 Reddy or Hunt 12 Chum 13 Amount of eggs 18 One short on social skills 23 Occurring naturally 24 It’s surrounded by the fuzz?

25 Sarcastic comments 26 Compilation album tracks, often 27 His mother raised Cain, too 28 “90210” actress Spelling 29 Advanced

math course 30 Stacy of “Prison Break” 32 Bullwinkle, e.g.

33 Frigid follower?

34 Bold challenge 35 “Survey ___ ...” (“Family Feud” phrase) 37 Soft white cheese 40 Flourished 41 Black-andorange butterfly 43 Air conditioning conduit 44 One who uses cannabis spiritually 45 Letter with an attachment, maybe 46 Perennial presidential debate issue 47 Venue for some football games 49 Toyota logo’s shape 50 C-___ 51 Brazilian hero 52 Makes inquiries 55 Night before 56 Rapper ___ Wayne 57 “So that’s your game!”

Copyright © 2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0727

SOUTHSIDE CHATTANOOGA:

DOWNTOWN AT MILLER PLAZA:

1634 ROSSVILLE AVENUE

850 MARKET STREET

HOURS: MONDAY 11-7PM TUESDAY THRU SATURDAY 11-8PM PHONE: (423) 509-3430

HOURS: MONDAY THRU FRIDAY: 8AM-4PM PHONE: (423) 362-8056

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Conference and Crab Cakes in The Big Easy Officer Alex finds confirmation in New Orleans of his longheld beliefs about firefighters

“ Foodies and lightweight drinkers aside, I only wish I’d remained that lucky—because despite my avoidance of the firemen for these reasons, as it turned out the teachers were the really wild ones.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

“Hey, you gotta meet this knucklehead,” said a comguy, he shoulda’ been a firepatriot of his with a nametag men I swearta’gahd!” a firethat read Alf. “It’s redfish fighter named Caballero said couvillion, doesn’t matter from across a dining table what kind of fish you use in a dark New Orleans resfor it. Everyone knows this. taurant that was older than Clearly this is drum, blackmy beloved Tennessee, but ened I’d say. We’re not in would still East Austin prefer to rehere, Cab.” main nameNow I less. p a u s e d “I know, at the exALEX TEACH but I kept change. passing the IQ tests. A real “Well, the beignets had regtragedy,” I said between ular sugar crystals on them spoonfuls of something instead of powdah’d sugah. they told me was redfish What else would I expect?” couvillion.

Caballero shot back.

“See?! I love this guy!”

“Be that as it may,” said he said, making my point.

Alf. “Quit embarrassing us.”

A thousand firefighters, All these years and I’d cops, teachers and other asnever seen such a blatant sorted public-servant types confirmation of all I sushad descended here on the pected about firefighters. armpit of America for an anBut in all these years I’d nual employee benefits and avoided conferences and financial conference. This training seminars in New was a world completely alien Orleans. And this wasn’t to us as sight hounds and even the reason. adrenaline freaks (teachers The sister of the wife of aside; more on that later), the guy across from me who but one that fate had cast us was still staring at his couinto, much like our careers. villion (or as cops would call “Wait,” said Caballero. it, “soup”)? I recognized her “Is this drum?” he asked at the table next to us as the while examining one of the woman I stepped around on few spoonfuls that hadn’t Bourbon Street last night made it to the unfortunate because she was sitting in napkin on his lap. “’Cause the middle of the road with this doesn’t look like redher legs crossed Indianfish.” style, her eyes closed, and “Of course it’s drum, you the remnants of a bottle of

30 • The Pulse • MAY 14-20, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

On The Beat

red wine in a death grip despite her otherwise apparent stupor. Her jeans were soaked in the same wine and general filth that accompanies this thoroughfare and her sister and brother in-law were pleading with her to leave to no effect, and that…That was the reason I avoided this place.

Foodies and lightweight drinkers aside, I only wish I’d remained that lucky— because despite my avoidance of the firemen for these reasons, as it turned out the teachers were the really wild ones.

The city of New Orleans had truly come back from the brink. The silver bullet that was Hurricane Katrina only served to spread her destitute and misbegotten across the nation (or more specifically, to Chattanooga and Houston as best the country could tell), leaving federal money to repair the place and allowing police to regroup and let the golden goose that was the French Quarter keep laying its prize eggs, only now and then requiring the NOPD to come in to scoop up a random drunk like an alien abduction and spirit him or her away, never interrupting the perpetual party of alcohol and sweaty crumpled small-denomination bills that made this whole sick organism work.

And despite knowing this and all the inherent risks? I wound up hanging out with a Chicago school teacher I

met at a conference social who could pass for Laurence Fishburne at three meters away, and who, despite his calm demeanor and perfect inflection, had decided to try to ruin my life for the next few days.

One minute we’re downing horrible well drinks at the hotel, and I’m looking at my watch calculating bed time, and the next thing you know it’s 4 a.m. and I’m drinking with Morpheus himself out of plastic glasses in a bar with no name three blocks south of Bourbon Street near a church that could as easily be used as a set for “The Alamo” as it could be for a John Carpenter vampire movie. What?

Eight a.m. seminars came early, but I made it despite myself (and with the help of an excellent in-room coffee maker), and I’ll be damned if Furious Styles himself wasn’t sitting in the back row looking like he was ready to accept an Oscar, smiling and raising his own cup of Joe at me, already settled in “I had crab cakes with that dude this morning at 5 a.m.,” I said, pointing him out to “IAFF Alf” from the night before. “It’s like drinking with the Terminator.”

“Did you?” he replied earnestly. “Let me guess.

Lemon remoulade, right?!”

I rolled my eyes. This was going to be a long week… and like Morpheus about Neo, I was right.

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