The Pulse 11.50 » December 11, 2014

The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

DECEMBER 11, 2014

HUNTING THE WILD MUSHROOM THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF FINDING THE PERFECT FUNGUS

By Mike McJunkin

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2 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Contents

The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

December 11, 2014 Volume 11, Issue 50

Staff Writer Madeline Chambliss Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Michael Crumb • Steven W. Disbrow John DeVore • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Louis Lee • Mike McJunkin Marc T. Michael • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Features

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

Director of Sales Mike Baskin

ADVERTISING

4 BEGINNINGS: Take a long, hard look at those slaughterhouse trucks.

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Angela Lanham • Rick Leavell Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

10 SCIENCE: Taking us through the teenier parts of the universe.

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

6

In Search of the Wild Shroom

The mid-morning sun broke through the trees in sharp, welldefined beams, shining like a spotlight on the forest floor. The crisp crackle of fall leaves and the sound of my own labored breathing provided a soundtrack to the morning’s hunt

12

Southern Rock True To Its Roots

I want to tell you about the band Marlow Drive. I want to tell you about their album. Before I can do either of those things, I have to get something out of the way first. Chip Ables is quite simply one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.

28

“Curtain Call” Not Their Final Bow

Surprising as it may sound, a group contemporary art show in Chattanooga seems unprecedented. Works of 17 artists are currently on view at the Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art. This show, “Curtain Call,” just opened last week.

16 REVIEWS: Grouper haunts softly, Battle Trance shatters.

17 holiday shopping GUIDE 25 BUSINESS: Chattanooga Vapor.

26 GREEN: Living or cut, real trees are the way to go. Here’s why.

32 SCREEN: Mise En Scenesters celebrates direct-to-video movies.

36 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 37 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 38 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex attempts to explain cop bonding.

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news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Op-Ed: You Are What You Eat Take a long, hard look at those slaughterhouse trucks

“

The reaction from the companies that own the slaughterhouses?

A familiar pattern: deny, discredit— and deny again.”

To this day, no one has said it better than the Mahatma: “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”

Gandhi came from a nation where animals are in some cases revered, and in many others, treated with abominable cruelty. Just like, in fact, our own.

Although during this holiday season, millions of dollars are being spent on pet presents and treats, millions of factoryfarmed animals continue to live and die in pain. And we turn away our faces. We simply don’t want to know.

Recently, a story splashed across the news about the Koch Foods slaughterhouse here in Chattanooga. An undercover video, made by the group Mercy

for Animals, showed multiple, sickening abuses to living animals. A week later, similar allegations were made against the Pilgrim’s Pride slaughterhouse by both Animal Welfare Institute and Farm Sanctuary, calling it among the “10 worst in the nation.” The reaction from the companies that own the slaughterhouses? A familiar pattern: deny, discredit—and deny again.

And the media coverage?

The news cycle has moved on, perhaps heavily prompted by the janis hashe money—and it is blood money, make no mistake—that these companies spend, giving them the leverage to kill stories they want buried.

So the animals continue to suffer. And we just don’t want to know.

Don’t think my solution is “Everyone become a vegetarian.” As someone who stills eats fish (on my journey back to vegetarianism), I have chosen that path, but I don’t attempt to force it on others.

But there are ways to raise and slaughter animals that are not cruel. And if you think that eating flesh from animals that lived and died in terror and pain has no consequences for you—science increasingly disagrees.

Dr. Temple Grandin, known to many from the portrayal by Claire Danes in the film named for her, has pioneered research into the effects caused by inhumane treatment of factory-farmed animals. Her conclusions: Epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine (stress hormones) when released into the blood stream will stay in the body and affect the quality of the meat. When you eat this meat, you are ingesting those hor-

Views

4 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

mones and hormone-induced byproducts. Consuming this type of meat can cause unwanted health problems.

Jonathan Safran Foer, in his book “Eating Animals,” takes it further: “Perhaps in the back of our minds we already understand, without all the science I’ve discussed, that something terribly wrong is happening. Our sustenance now comes from misery. We know that if someone offers to show us a film on how our meat is produced, it will be a horror film. We perhaps know more than we care to admit, keeping it down in the dark places of our memory—disavowed.

When we eat factory-farmed meat we live, literally, on tortured flesh. Increasingly, that tortured flesh is becoming our own.”

“But I still don’t want to be a vegetarian,” you say. OK. You can buy meats from local farmers who raise and slaughter humanely. You can raise your voice against the barbaric practices of factory farming. You can stop turning your face away.

“The assumption that animals are without rights and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.”

—Arthur Schopenhauer, “The Basis of Morality”

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

HARD WORKING AMERICANS

Make It a Wrap for Kids on the Block The winter holidays are fast approaching, so many stores have extended holiday hours, giving shoppers more time to find that perfect gift. Some offer gift-wrapping services this time of year— but organizations like Chattanooga’s Kids on the Block (CKOB), offer a way to support a good cause while having your presents wrapped.

Known for their educational puppetry programs in schools and communities throughout Southeast Tennessee, Northwest Georgia and Alabama, CKOB’s mis-

sion is to “educate children on social concerns and differences, giving them skills to stay safe and healthy.”

The wrapping project is celebrating its 31st year, and over 200 volunteers are involved for CKOB’s Annual Holiday Gift Wrap fundraising event with two gift-wrapping stations at Hamilton Place Mall: an upstairs booth across from the Tourist Information Center and a downstairs booth in front of JCPenney.

Both booths will remain open dur-

IN THIS ISSUE

Mike McJunkin This week’s cover story on the art of mushroom hunting is by longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin, a native Chattanoogan who has gained considerable experience with food through his obsessive habit of eating several times

ing the mall’s extended hours through Wednesday, Dec. 24.

Gift-wrapping services are $3 and up, depending on size, and all proceeds benefit CKOB. In addition to having presents of all shapes and sizes wrapped, CKOB offers scheduled pick-up and drop-off services to your home or office for shoppers on the go, and invites the public to volunteer with CKOB and help wrap gifts.

So, show your support for a good cause and get those presents wrapped!

Call (423) 757-5259 for volunteer opportunities or to make a reservation for CKOB’s pick-up and drop-off services.

— Madeline Chambliss

Sandra Kurtz each and every day. Along the way he has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. He can tell you what balut tastes like, what it’s like to eat pork blood boat noodles on the streets of Thailand and how to cure bacon in a loft apartment. He is also quite active on Facebook at facebook. com/SushiAndBiscuits

“Green” columnist Sandra Kurtz has long been active in environmental education and activism. She founded Tennessee Environmental Education Association, created the first educational programs at Chattanooga Nature Center and TVA Energy Center Museum, and

started Bellefonte Efficiency & Sustainability Team. She has consulted with National Environmental Trust, Clear the Air, Global Action Plan, and Sierra Club. Currently she is Urban Century Institute director, South Chickamauga Creek Greenway Alliance co-chairman, TN Environmental Council board member, Blue Ridge Environmental Defense League VicePresident and TN Greenways & Trails Council member.

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COVER STORY

In Search of the Savory Wild Shroom Modern-day foragers seek out delicious fungi…carefully

By Mike McJunkin

“

Mushroom foragers in Tennessee can find morel, puffball, chicken of the woods, hen of the woods and many other varieties of mushrooms not typically sold in stores.”

T

he forest could not have been more beautiful that morning. The mid-morning sun broke through the trees in sharp, well-defined beams, shining like a spotlight on the forest floor.

The crisp crackle of fall leaves and the sound of my own labored breathing provided a soundtrack to the morning’s hunt. I had been walking along a Tennessee mountain trail with a group of mushroom foragers for about an hour when the steep grade of the mountain trail and the constant stooping and bending to look for fungi began to mercilessly taunt my body.

I’ve spent decades carefully tuning my physique to forage for urban provisions such as pork belly tacos, pho and craft beers while traversing the rough terrain of city sidewalks and adeptly avoiding brushes with overly aggressive panhandlers. My back has adjusted to the task of bending to reach the low shelves at Publix and my ass has conformed to a shape perfectly suited for restaurant booths and gastropub bar stools. My pearshaped frame is a shining example of how humans have adapted away from the physicality it takes to forage for foods and how we have grown accustomed to a food system that makes sure something edible is always within arm’s reach.

About 12,000 years ago, someone sporting the latest trend in animalhide fashion decided they were tired of wandering from scrub to scrub in an unpredictable search for food and began to stick some plants in a spot of ground they were fond of and grow their own food. Fast forward to

6 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

2014—and agriculture has become something we take for granted. While modern agriculture promises to provide a variety of abundant, convenient and safe foods that are as close as the corner Golden Gallon, there are those who prefer a DIY approach to food and continue to forage—even if that approach courts a bit of danger in the process.

Modern-day foragers trace their roots back to the earliest humans, but their motivations have changed over time. Most modern foragers do not forage out of need; they forage for more complex reasons, including a desire to recapture some sense of self-sufficiency, or a reaction to our obsession with processed foods. For mushroom hunters, foraging gives access to a variety of fungi that are not available through supermarkets or any commercial grower. These mushrooms have a broader range of flavors and a more robust taste that only comes from freshly picked, wild-grown mushrooms.

Angel Miller, co-owner of 2 Angels Mushroom Farm in Harrison, TN, says, “Local, wild-grown mushrooms such as oyster, chanterelle, or chicken of the woods have a much bolder taste and are far superior in terms of flavor and texture to the commercially grown varieties.” This makes sense if you have ever tasted a juicy, flavorful garden tomato compared to the tasteless, rubbery ones that fill supermarket produce sections.

Mushroom foragers in Tennessee can find morel, puffball, chicken of the woods, hen of the woods and many other varieties of mushrooms not typically sold in stores.

The heightened flavors and unique textures of these fungi are perfect for the true mushroom aficionado, the restaurant chef looking for new flavors, or the home cook wishing to step up their mushroom game.

But what about the danger? Isn’t it idiotic to eat wild foraged mushrooms?

Like so many intrepid food ad-

Photo by Angel Miller, 2 Angels Mushroom Farm

venturers who seek out risky foods such as the toxic Fugu, Icelandic Hákarl, or Sardinian Casu Marzu, mushroom foragers are culinary daredevils. The mushroom foragers I've met are a mixture of elderly naturalists, college professors, patchouli-soaked hippies and bearded post-hipster foodies with a healthy dose of middle-aged normcores thrown in to smooth out the Gaussian distribution of the demo. Not exactly an audaciouslooking bunch, but each and every one measured the dangers against education and knowledge.

Angel Miller, who has taught mushroom-foraging classes and forages mushrooms for her businesses inventory, says there are ways to minimize the risk. “Never guess,” she emphasizes. “Educate yourself about the poisonous varieties first, then move on to identifying edible mushrooms.” She cautions new foragers to always corroborate with a knowledgeable expert and

don’t depend on Google images or any other single source. Since some symptoms of mycetism (mushroom poisoning) can take up to 24 hours to appear, just take a small bite first and wait 24 hours before chowing down on the rest of the batch— even if you are completely certain that mushroom is edible. Miller also recommends putting an uncooked specimen aside to take to the hospital for analysis if you are poisoned.

Not the kind of thing you see on the back of a bag of Cheetos, but then again, the anal leakage warnings didn’t stop people from eating Olestra either.

If traipsing around the woods looking to fill a mesh bag with fungi sounds like a fun way to spend a Saturday, there are ways to learn how to keep from poisoning yourself and possibly dying in the process. First, and most importantly, find an expert to teach you the ropes. Although Chattanooga doesn’t have a mycological club

(mycology is the study of fungi) the Cumberland Mycological Society is based out of Crossville, TN and warmly welcomes new members, as does the Mushroom Club of Georgia, based out of Marietta, GA. Both of these organizations can give you support and information to get started, or you can contact Angel Miller at 2 Angels Mushroom Farm for more information about mushrooms, both wild and farm raised. But whatever you do, please, for the love of Euell Gibbons, DO NOT simply buy a book and start foraging on your own.

While there certainly are dangers, they shouldn’t be overstated. To put the level of danger in perspective, food poisoning sickened 48 million Americans last year, and killed almost 3,000—including people whose only poor decision was to eat some bad fast food. In that same year 17—not 17,000— just 17, or one-half of one per cent >> P. 9

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“Foraging can transform a simple home cook into a spawn of Survivorman who isn’t just making dinner; he is extolling the wellspring of nature’s creation.” of all food-related deaths were from eating mushrooms. In fact, most of us eat wild mushrooms all the time in restaurants or from the store without giving thought to any real or imagined danger.

For me and some of my more candid mushroom-foraging friends, the experience is as much a part of the hobby as the harvest. Foraging can transform a simple home cook into a spawn of Survivorman who isn’t just making dinner; he is extolling the wellspring of nature’s creation. She is no longer preparing food; she is sharing earth, sky and sea. A plate with foraged elements

is instantly elevated and bathed in a glow of virtue simply because of how the ingredients were obtained.

But regardless of the harvesting experience or how many double rainbows arc across your foraging basket, the ultimate test is taste, because in the end the best thing to come from foraging is a delicious meal. I made it through my mountain mushroom foraging excursion exhausted, but I came away with enough fungi to make a stunningly flavorful and beautifully rich risotto. Since I am a benevolent soul, I will share the recipe here.

You can thank me later.

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Recipe: Wild Mushroom Risotto Ingredients • 10 tablespoons butter, divided • 1 1/2 pounds fresh wild mushrooms (such as hen of the woods, chanterelle, or oyster) sliced into equalsized pieces • 7 cups chicken broth • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil • 3/4 cup finely chopped leek • 1 1/4 cups Arborio rice • 1/4 cup dry white wine • 1/4 cup dry white vermouth • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, plus additional for serving Preparation Melt 2 tablespoons butter in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat.

Add 1/4 of mushrooms and sprinkle with salt. Sauté mushrooms 3 to 4 minutes or until tender and beginning to brown. Transfer mushrooms to medium bowl. Working in 3 more batches, repeat with 6 tablespoons butter, remaining mushrooms, and salt and pepper.

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Melt remaining butter with the olive oil in a heavy large saucepan over medium-low heat. Add leek, sprinkle with salt, and sauté until tender, 4 to 5 minutes.

Add rice and increase heat to medium. Stir until edges of rice begin to look translucent, 3 to 4 minutes.

Add white wine, vermouth and stir until liquid is absorbed, about 1 minute. Add 3/4 cup warm chicken broth; stir until almost all broth is absorbed, about 1 minute.

Continue adding broth by 3/4 cupfuls, stirring until almost all broth is absorbed before adding more, until rice is halfway cooked, about 10 minutes. Stir in sautéed mushrooms.

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and Smaller Prof. Disbrow takes us through the teenier parts of the universe.

“

The next time the universe makes you feel small, just remember, that small is actually pretty far out, and that there’s always something smaller than you.”

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10 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

In last month’s column, I discussed distances. Specifically, large distances, as they are used in science generally and astronomy in particular. This month, I thought I’d go the other direction, and discuss distances used in measuring the very (very!) small things that science deals with. Once STEVEN W. again, we’ll start things off at a scale humans can deal with and work our way down from there.

Meter (m): The meter is pretty much the standard of distance in science. If you insist on being old-fashioned, that’s roughly three feet (one yard) long.

Centimeter (cm): One meter is made up of 100 centimeters. There really isn’t an easy equivalent to a “foot” in the metric system. But, one inch is about 2.54 centimeters, and that’s easy to remember, right?

Millimeter (mm): There are 10 millimeters in a centimeter, so, that means there are 1,000 millimeters in a meter. This is a very short distance, but, in the world of very small things, this is still a huge distance. For example, a human hair is, on average, around 0.05 mm wide.

Now, you’ll notice that all of these measurements are powers of 10. (In this case, negative powers of 10.)

That’s just how the metric system works. You either multiply or divide the last unit by 10, slap on the appro-

priate Latin prefix, and there’s your new unit. While it’s easy to work with, it’s also pretty boring, and there are a lot of smaller and smaller distances between millimeters and the really small stuff. So, we’re going to skip all that and hop right down to the next interesting point of measurement…

DISBROW Micrometer (µm): A micrometer (or micron) is one millionth (10-6) of a meter.

A typical red blood cell is 6 to 8 microns across.

Nanometer (nm): A nanometer is one billionth (10-9) of a meter. The chips in your computer and smart phone are built using a “nanometer fabrication process.” Basically, this describes how many nanometers apart the components of a computer chip sit from each other. The shorter this distance is, the more components you can squeeze onto a chip and the more “powerful” it is. Remember the Intel Pentium II processor from the late ’90s? That chip was built with a 350nm process and held 7.5 million transistors.

Now, compare that with the “Core M” processor that Intel announced in August of this year. That chip uses a 14nm process and will hold billions of transistors!

Picometer (pm): This is 10-12 meters, or one trillionth of a meter. At this point, we’re looking at some really small stuff. Things like the wavelengths of gamma rays and X-rays. In

Just A Theory

Celebrate Life. Eat Well.

“At 10 meters (one quintillionth of a meter), the attometer is pretty small.

This is the scale where quarks and electrons live.”

-18 fact, you have to go back up to 25 pm just to get to the radius of a hydrogen atom!

Fe m t o m e t e r (fm): A femtometer is one quadrillionth (10-15) of a meter. This is the size range of atomic nuclei. (It’s also sometimes called a “fermi,” in honor of physicist Enrico Fermi.)

Attometer (am): At 10-18 meters (one quintillionth of a meter), the attometer is pretty small. This is the scale where quarks and electrons live.

Electrons, of course, are the particles/ waves that exist in a cloud of possibility around the atoms that make up everything in the universe. And quarks are the sub-atomic particles that actually make up protons, neutrons and other, better known, much larger particles.

Believe it or not, the attometer is just a little more than halfway to the absolute smallest distance that there is: the Planck Length.

Named for physicist Max Planck, the Plank Length is actually a hypothetical distance.

It’s hypothetical, because, at 10-35 meters, there’s no way to actually “see” it or measure it. At this distance, it’s thought that the universe breaks down into a kind of “foam,” that obeys none of the normal laws of reality.

But even being hypothetical, the Planck Length has a lot of uses in theoretical physics. It’s a big part of String Theory, the study of extra dimensions, and it may even play a role in determining if our universe is just a very poorly tested computer simulation. (If it is, then the Planck Length may well be the “width” of one “pixel” in the simulation.)

So, there you go. The next time the universe makes you feel small, just remember, that small is actually pretty far out, and that there’s always something smaller than you.

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MUSIC SCENE

Southern Rock True To Its Roots Marlow Drive releases explosive new album

I

Thinking Opposite The Box Head to JJ’s Bohemia this Saturday for a local fave With so many musicians and bands these days. it may be hard to find someone truly out of the ordinary, with a sound like you’ve never heard before. If you’re looking for a truly unique concert, then plan to head to JJ’s Bohemia on Saturday, Dec. 13 at 10 p.m. to watch Opposite Box take the stage.

Described as “a genre-bending experimental rock band,” that is “known for high-energy live shows and a seamless blend of jazz, rock, funk, punk, and prog” local favorite Opposite Box will rock JJ’s in their own special way.

Composed of members Ryan Long, Richard Long, Dave Graham, Ryan Guza, Curtis Warner and Matt Owen, Opposite Box combines the

usual rock band instruments (guitar, bass, drums and keyboard), with ones not so commonly found outside the orchestra: trombone, sousaphone and tuba.

But, like any concert, the music is only a part of the experience. Known for including anything from belly dancers, fire-eaters and hula-hoop dancers, to guest musicians and the audience, the band’s overall stage performance is, to put it simply, theatrical.

Following the release of their debut album, Silly and Infantile, and continuing performances across the eastern United States, Opposite Box is one band that you’ll definitely want to keep up with. Like this Saturday.

— Madeline Chambliss

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Stepping away from the Black Crowes for a solo acoustic tour, cofounder Rich Robinson puts on a must-see show.

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12 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

want to tell you about the band Marlow Drive. I want to tell you about their album, Lights Are Turning Red. Before I can do either of those things, I have to get something out of the way first. Chip Ables, guitarist and lead vocalist for Marlow Drive, is quite simply one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.

That might seem like an odd way to start off the article, but having just spent the last 90 minutes or so chatting with him about bands, music, life, the universe and everything, it is the thought foremost in my mind. He’s good people.

Music MARC T. MICHAEL

“

‘Lights Are Turning Red’ boasts guitar licks and a driving beat guaranteed to lead directly to pumping fists and flowing adrenaline.”

Marlow Drive is a four-piece, featuring Ables on vocals, Jody Swygert on bass, Alex Condra on lead and Greg Rudder on drums. As the band’s fourth drummer, one wonders if Greg has seen “This Is Spinal Tap,” but if the fellow has any fears of spontaneously combusting, it doesn’t show in his playing, which is a perfect fit for the rest of the band.

The music? Southern rock, baby.

Good, old-fashioned, heavy-hitting Southern rock (which means there’s a heavy dose of blues and boogie in the mix).

Here we go again with another, “I don’t want to compare this band to another band” moment. but the truth is the truth—and the truth in this case is that the first time I heard the vocals I would have sworn it was Gregg Allman.

The sonic resemblance is uncanny. I am convinced it is unintentional; Ables just happens to sound that way. A fella could do worse than to have a set of pipes like Allman.

Ables’ voice is a formidable instrument, but it has found its match in Condra’s guitar. Heavy, hard, mean…it’s the kind of guitar that when you hear it makes you feel like the biggest, baddest guy in the bar wouldn’t stand a chance if he crossed you. This is preposterous, of course, and likely to get you killed, so don’t do it, but the guitar work is power-

Marlow Drive

Give A Toy, Get Great Music

Bohannons

ful and emotionally charged. While I have serious misgivings about Ted Nugent’s skill as a pundit, he is a legendary guitar slinger, and I definitely hear some Ted in Condra’s wailing axe.

Providing the rhythmic launch pad for Ables and Condra are Swygert’s thumping bass and Rudder’s explosive drumming. Rarely do I get to say this, but the bass and drums in this band do not exist somewhere in the background while the front men take the spotlight. In fact, I don’t know that I’d designate any of the guys a ‘front man’ necessarily.

The band’s sound is really more of an ensemble, where each player shines without overshadowing his band mates and that is a tricky thing.

honest music

I suspect a great deal of their success in that respect is due to their chemistry and also, to some degree, to the excellent production of Brett Nolan, noted musician, recording engineer and belly dance enthusiast.

The album itself is a collection of some of the boys’ best work, including my personal favorite, “Dirty Shame,” a tune that is definitive proof that old-school rock and roll can hang with the nastiest stuff out there today. “Murfreesboro Rain” is another tune in that vein, a song that is to Southern rock what the Dodge Charger is to muscle cars.

The titular “Lights Are Turning Red” boasts guitar licks and a driving beat guaranteed to lead directly to pumping fists and flowing

adrenaline. There is range here as well. “What’s Going On” is an outand-out groove with shades of Pink Floyd in the instrumentation, while the love song of the album, “Hot or Cold,” evokes a kind of turmoil and anguish that is blues to the core.

The band just had a very successful gig at Rhythm & Brews with Jess Goggans, and is looking forward to a string of upcoming shows, including appearances at Brew & Cue on Dec. 20 and JJ’s Bohemia on Dec. 27. You can hear the album on Reverbnation (and you should), but to get the full effect of the serious musical voodoo these guys are playing, you need to see them live.

You know where and when.

Get to it.

The Chattanooga Scene, a new, music-oriented nonprofit organization, is sponsoring a toy drive at the Honest Pint this Sunday, Dec. 14. The show starts at 7 p.m. and features a wide selection of great local talent.

The event is being headlined by the Bohannons, and the line-up includes Tab Spencer, Ryan Oyer, Rye Baby, Stoop Kids, Moon Dog Sikes and Dark Horse 10.

Attendees have the option of either paying a $5 cover charge/donation or donating a toy to the event (the preferred option by organizers). All donations will be turned over to the Salvation Army for distribution this Christmas.

In the words of beloved entertainer and snappy dresser Jack Kirton, “It’s a good opportunity to make something happen for people who don’t have very —MTM much.”

Musical Toy Drive Sunday, Dec. 14 The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

local and regional shows

Jihn Lathim & Friends [$5] Salvation Army Toy Drive

Thu, Dec 11 Sun, Dec 14

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Ryan Oyer hosts Open Mic every Wednesday @ 8pm

$3 NEWCASTLE PINTS DURING THURSDAY SHOWS

9 pm 7 pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

LIVE MUSIC DECEMBER

11 SAME AS IT EVER WAS FRI 9:30p12 RICH ROBINSON SAT 9p 13 CALM LIKE A BOMB FRI 9:30p 19 MATT STEPHENS SAT 9p 20 DREW STERCHI FRI 9p 26 JORDAN HALLQUIST SAT 9p 27 JIMMY TAWATER BAND THU 8p ONE OF THE BEST LOCAL BANDS EVER!

AMAZING TALKING HEADS TRIBUTE

OF THE BLACK CROWES ACOUSTIC TOUR

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Hard Working Americans

423PK TACKY SWEATER ROCK PARTY

PROJECT

OUR HOTTEST PARTY BAND! and BLUES TRIBE

with DECIBELLA & RICK RUSHING

1.16 LAZY HORSE: A TRIBUTE TO NEIL YOUNG 1.17 CHIG MARTIN & THE ALABAMA OUTLAWS

COMING SOON

THAT 90'S SHOW with TONE HARM & ISCARIOTS

WED 9p

31

SLIPPERY WHEN WET SAT 10p 10 THE ULTIMATE BON JOVI TRIBUTE

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

thursday12.11 Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Ringgold Nutrition Center 144 Circle Dr. (706) 935-2541 John Lathim & Friends 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Feel It Thursday Open Mic 7 p.m.

Mocha Music Lounge 511 Broad St. mochajazz.net Bluegrass and Country Jam 7 p.m.

Grace Nazarene Church 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Jimmy Tawater Band 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191

14 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

friday12.12 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase 7 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton

Pulse Pick: butch ross You may have never heard a mountain dulcimer played before, but even if you have, we guarantee you have never heard it played like this! Butch will put on a show that you won’t soon forget.

Butch Ross Saturday, 12:30 p.m.

Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Tim & Reece 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Hard Working Americans, Turbo Fruits 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Courteny Daly Band 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191

Same As It Ever Was: A Talking Heads Tribute 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com One Night Stand 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Rolling in the Hay, Tone Harm 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

saturday12.13 Chattanooga Girls Choir 11 a.m.

Chattanooga Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Chattanooga Symphony: Pop Tots Noon Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. chattanoogasymphony.com Butch Ross 12:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Holiday Carolers 3 p.m.

The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats

MUSIC CALENDAR

Trampled By Turtles 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Candlelight Remembrance with Pam Frye 5 p.m.

Tennessee Georgia Memorial Park 724 Hogan Rd., Rossvile, GA (706) 866-5533 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Ron & Nancy Sample 6:30 p.m.

Creekside at Shallowford 7511 Shallowford Rd. (423) 485-9933 Wonderful Peace 7 p.m.

First Cumberland Presbyterian Church 1505 N. Moore Rd. firstcumberland.com Travis Bolin 7 p.m.

Mocha Restaurant & Music Lounge 511 Broad St. mochajazz.net Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Rough Work 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Rick Rushing & The

Blues Strangers 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Rich Robinson, Guthrie Brown 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Hap Henninger 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 One Night Stand 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Opposite Box, Big Something 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

sunday12.14 Jazzanoga Youth All-Stars 11 a.m.

Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org Butch Ross 12:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Lou Wamp & Swing Shift 12:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Sunday Night Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m.

Grocery Bar 1501 Long St. grocerybar.com Acoustic Gospel Jam 6 p.m.

Brainerd United Methodist Church 4315 Brainerd Rd. brainerdumc.org

monday12.15 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Greater Vision, Legacy Five, Booth Brothers 7 p.m.

ICCM Celebration Center 5746 Marlin Rd. imcconcerts.com

tuesday12.16 Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Tim Starnes, Davey Smith 7 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com

wednesday12.17 Charlie Yates 5 p.m.

American Legion Post 95 3329 Ringgold Rd. (423) 624-9105 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Roger Alan Wade 8 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Open Mic with Ryan Oyer 8 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Trampled By Turtles, Nikki Lane 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

901 Carter St Inside City Cafe 423-634-9191 Thursday, December 11: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, December 12: 9pm Courtney Daly Band Saturday, December 13: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, December 16: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

Music for Chattanooga’s Coolest Generation

hippieradio1069.com

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

Record Reviews

ernie paik

Walks Through Ruins, Saxophone Shape-Shifting ReseRve youR spot today foR New yeaR’s eve!

Grouper haunts softly, Battle Trance shatters

Tables starting at $65 (includes bottle of champagne and party favors) HoLIday HouRs Christmas Eve 6pm-3am Christmas Day 6pm-3am New Year’s Eve 11am–3am New Year’s Day 11am-3 am Happy HouR 4p-8p daily New LoCatIoN 103 Cherokee Blvd On The North Shore (423) 267-2455

open 11a-3a daily thebigchillandgrill.com

Grouper Ruins (Kranky)

G

rouper, get out of my mind.

After being wowed by Grouper’s completely entrancing 2011 double-album A I A, this writer thought that the 2012 follow-up, Violet Replacement, was a retread of her sonic territory. Last year’s The Man Who Died in His Boat featured outtakes from the sessions for 2008’s Dragging a Dead Deer up a Hill, with a similar acousticguitar-centric fuzzy atmosphere; while still excellent, it was no great departure. Grouper’s new album, Ruins, offers a transformation, which is what this writer has been anticipating.

Liz Harris—the woman behind Grouper—created most of Ruins while on a residency in Portugal in 2011, using only a 4-track recorder, a piano and a microphone. While theoretically it’s a stark contrast to her other work that is more dependent on effects processing and a soothing ambient noise aesthetic, in execution, the album is still as shadowy and blurred as Grouper has

16 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Battle Trance Palace of Wind (New Amsterdam) always been. Harris obscures her words (which are about “political anger and emotional garbage”) under a thin veil by singing softly and barely enunciating.

It’s almost astounding how much she gets using so little, seemingly effortlessly offering beautifully haunted songs with rudimentary piano skills and a sweetly grayscale voice, carefully modulating. The final track, “Made of Air,” is the sole diversion, being an 11-minute track recorded a decade ago, with Harris’ more familiar thick ambient haze method.

This doleful sensitivity, in less capable and nuanced hands, would probably sound contrived and possibly insufferable, but Harris strikes the perfect balance, being affecting without being either overwrought or too distant. Ruins is perhaps the result of both judicious selection and serendipity, allowing background noises—from nature sounds like frogs and rain to the

errant beep of a microwave oven (concluding “Labyrinth”)—to add to the experience.

In a sense, it’s an enhanced field recording, driven by Harris’ walks in Portugal through both physical and mental ruins, resulting in a stunning album and welcome development in Grouper’s catalog.

T

here is no shortage of saxophone ensembles, with the quartet configuration heard with notable, versatile groups like the World Saxophone Quartet or The Tiptons, or with larger, atypical ventures such as Caroline Kraabel’s 20-piece, all-female immersive sax orchestra Mass Producers.

Battle Trance, led by the freakishly talented Travis Laplante, is a new group that pushes the capabilities and expectations of what a sax quartet can do, with extremely technically demanding compositions and the desire to make an overwhelming listen-

ing experience.

Laplante formed Battle Trance after waking one morning with a very specific idea for a new group in his mind, comprised solely of tenor saxophonists, and he even had names picked out: Matthew Nelson, Jeremy Viner and Patrick Breiner. Listening to Battle Trance’s debut album, Palace of Wind, it becomes apparent that just any saxophonists could not have pulled this off, as its execution requires difficult techniques such as circular breathing in order to sustain notes for an indefinite length of time.

Over three long tracks, the listener is gently, then forcefully pushed into understanding the potential of the ensemble, and the album gets more and more compelling as it unfurls. The first part provides a little breathing room before a manic flutter of notes, several minutes in, eventually giving way to sustained tones.

The second part begins with melodic chords unfolding, one note at a time, before expressing a full, ardent and rich sound quickly shattered by intense twonote patterns and dissonance; after fast cascades, the track ends abruptly. Part three is even more fierce, starting with discordant multi-phonics and ghostly notes; the percussive flaps of the sax keys opening and closing are prominent, mirroring the violent squawking of some crazed aural bird before swarms of sonic bees plague the proceedings.

This writer enjoys using animal-related metaphors, but when it comes to the engaging, awe-inspiring, genre-destroying intensity of Battle Trance, it’s a whole new type of beast—maybe like a shape-shifting four-headed chimera that is shooting bees out of its mouths.

THe pulSe X

Holiday SHopping guide X

2013 2014

chaTTanoogaPulse.com 12-18, 2013 •• The The Pulse Pulse •• 17 chattanoogapulse.com • holiday shopping guide••december december 11, 2014 17

2014

Holiday

Shopping Guide

Holiday gift ideas from around the city and around the world

Tired of losing golf balls? What you need is a pair of The Golf Ball Locating Glasses that help golfers locate golf balls obscured by shadows and thick rough. The lenses have a blue pigment that filters light as it passes through, making white golf balls easier to locate against dark backgrounds. $39.95 hammacher.com

Books • Cards • Music • Artwork Jewelry • Clothing • Premium Teas 307 Manufacturers Rd. • Ste. 105 at 2 Northshore Chattanooga, Tennessee 423.265.6321 • newmoongallery.com

Instant fun day or night, rain or shine, on any smooth surface with the Pongo Portable Table Tennis. Best of all, no mounting required for anytime funtime. $40 umbra.com

18 • The Pulse • December 11, 2014 • holiday shopping guide • chattanoogapulse.com

Ever had a hankering for fondue but didn't want to go to all the hassle of setting up the big pot?

Treat yourself with this Sweetheart Chocolate Fondue Mug. It comes with the ceramic fondue mug, two fondue forks and a tea light candle. $8 wysada.com Sure, no one ever said, "I really wish Santa would get me a new thermostat for Christmas." Well, that was before we checked out the Nest Learning Thermostat, which programs itself and helps save energy when you’re away.

And you can control it from anywhere using your smartphone, tablet or computer. $249 nest.com

Take the edge off with Whiskey Wedge, the artful way to perfectly chill, but not water down your favorite spirits.

Designed to melt much slower than smaller traditional ice cubes, Whiskey Wedge helps retain your drink’s full flavor. $16.95 corkcicle.com

50% 50%OFF OFFSTOREWIDE STOREWIDE

To the prolific of spirit. To the bold of heart. To all unencumbered by convention, but weighed by the travails of progress not yet charted comes the Original Ancho Chile Liqueur. Pleasently sweet, followed by chile with moderate heat and hints of spices, tamarind, plum, cacao, apple and almond notes. Be brave. Be bold. Be unafraid. anchoreyes.com

22DAYS DAYSONLY ONLY

th th th th Friday, November 2828 && Saturday, November 2929 Friday, November Saturday, November

10:00 10:00A.M. A.M.––6:00 6:00P.M. P.M.

AllAll Diamond Solitaire & Bridal Diamond Solitaire & Bridal AllAll Colored Stones, Rings, Pendants & Earrings Colored Stones, Rings, Pendants & Earrings

WRIGHT WRIGHT

Play with pictures—win with words with this innovative and fun Word Dominoes game set. Perfect for the word nerd. $24.95 chroniclebooks.com

Jewelers Jewelers

*Some exclusions apply *Some exclusions apply

423.499.0569 423.499.0569

Grow your own crops of delicious, edible mushrooms with the Mushroom Log (just be sure to read our cover story this week first).

Each hand-cut hardwood log is inoculated with spores that will sprout organic mushrooms. $32 shopterrain.com chattanoogapulse.com • holiday shopping guide • december 11, 2014

• The Pulse • 19

37906756

Crack open those tough nuts with this large retro Robot Nutcracker. Place any nut into the Robot Nutcracker's belly and twist the wind-up key to crack open that tough shell. Made from solid beechwood, this nutcracker is easy to use and will break into any nut. $44.95 broadwaypanhandler.com

37906756

6311 E. E. Brainerd RdRd Chattanooga 6311 Brainerd Chattanooga www.wrightjeweler.com www.wrightjeweler.com

d n a i sk o t n learn board o snow

l a U t r i V w o sn

intro session Perfect for the beginner or intermediate skier.

You test Virtual Snow, Virtual Snow tests you!

1HoUr $125

basic package Develop skills, build confidence on Virtual Snow with video drills

5 1-HoUr sessions $599.95

Plus bonus 1-hour session free and another bonus 1-hour session free when you return from your ski vacation!

Caroline coaches Kaitlyn on the Virtual Ski Machine

Line your eyes like never before with this seven-piece Marc Jacobs Petites Highliner Collection. Cased in a limitededition collectible box, these perfect petites include five bestselling shades and two new limited-edition eyeliner shades. $45 marcjacobsbeauty.com

While we don't see very much snow here in the Tennessee Valley, you never know when the bext big blizzard will hit.

Be prepared for snowman building with this Joules Sherpa Hat. When it comes to warm, this hat is head and shoulders above the rest. $35 joulesusa.com

tHe inVestment of a lifetime!

CONVENIENT SCHEDULES•CaLL TODay!

dodge city ski shop

SKIS•SNOWBOaRDS•SKI aPPaREL

7698 E. BrainErd road

423.892.6767•dodgecityski.com

The APL Joyride women's running shoes feature a Propelium™ midsole/ outsole compound designed to increase energy generation.

Incredible comfort and a great aesthetic at home, on the pavement, on the treadmill, and everywhere else in between. $120 athleticpropulsionlabs.com

20 • The Pulse • December 11, 2014 • holiday shopping guide • chattanoogapulse.com

The stylish GOLiFE Care Smart Fitness Band brings an all-day living experience.

Throughout the day, it tracks your steps, knows the distance you've trekked, and how many calories you've burned. And it looks good, too. $179 shop.gifts.com

gifts for

her From American Eagle Outfitters, this Vegan Leather Moto Jacket is 100 percent polyurethane, with classic moto styling and a slant zipper. $80 • ae.com

Tiklari Mukki Bracelets are subtle with a sharp pop of color, great in a stack, or mixed with other textures and materials. Handmade by artisans in Istanbul, Turkey. $45 each zady.com The Barr-Co. Bubble Bath Elixir has a clean vanilla, milk, and oatmeal scent and is crafted with natural plant extracts, soothing minerals, and oatmeal. Crafted in small batches at a time for optimum freshness. $31.50 thegardengates.com

No need to give up making a fashion statement when the weather gets bad. Open up this Illesteva Umbrella with a purple flower interior and stay dry and stylish. $250 illesteva.com BLUSH LINGERIE, MARIE JO AND ELOMI

Transform ordinary food into superfood and add years to your life with the Magic Bullet NutriBullet. This 12-piece high-speed blender/mixer system effortlessly pulverizes fruits, vegetables, superfoods and protein shakes. $79 amazon.com

ELLIE’S FINE LINGERIE Bra Fitting Specialists Hard to Find Sizes Sleepwear & Bridal Collections After Hours Parties Available WAREHOUSE ROW 1110 MARKET ST. • SUITE 117A WWW.ELLIESLINGERIE.COM

chattanoogapulse.com • holiday shopping guide • december 11, 2014

• The Pulse • 21

georgia

December 6, 13 & 20 1:00 - 5:00 pm

GIFT BASKETS starting at $19.95

HOLIDAY WINE Featuring the release of

Holiday Cheer!

FREE WINE TASTING

REFRESHMENTS Save 5% on 6 Bottles & 15% on 12 Bottles!

Gift Baskets

Save $5 off $50 + Cannot be combined with other discounts.

Limit 1 per customer. Expires: December 31st, 2014.

Code: 2996

GeorgiaWines.com • 706.937.9463

gifts for

him

Tired of skin and bdy care products that leave you smelling like your old college dorm room or that feel like they are peeling your skin off with harsh chemicals? Check out the Bulldog Men's Original Skincare line of products, with no burn and no smell. $65 abesmarket.com The Power Shave Collection features advanced shaving instruments that combine high performance design and powered motion for optimal shaving results. $470 theartofshaving.com

Live every week like it's Shark Week with a Jaws-dropping pair of cottonpolyester-spandex Shark Socks that add kick to your workwear. Whether you're circling the water cooler or swimming in deep water, you're sure to bring humor and style to any room with outrageous "shark attack" graphics. After all, business casual bites—so why not bite back? $9 uncommongoods.com

Pizza is the food of the gods.

Represent your higher status with this cheesy Pizza Zip-Up Hoodie.

You really knead this; it's worth the dough, no matter how you slice it. $79.95 rageon.com

22 • The Pulse • December 11, 2014 • holiday shopping guide • chattanoogapulse.com

Travel with style on campus or the skatepark with the Quest Tribes Longboard. This board is great for transportation, but also has a performance edge that will surprise and delight and allow you to cruise with efficiency, stability and comfort.

Designed with Native American inspired graphics, this longboard is as stylish as it is functional. $58.99 overstock.com

Happy Holidays!

Chattanooga’s Home for locally made jewelry, pottery, art, glassware, and so much more...

More than just a handsome homage to a whiskey-loving couple, this miniature oak Customized Whiskey Barrel ages spirits to peak flavor, just like its full-sized siblings found in professional distilleries. You have to be 21 or over to order, of course.

Prices vary uncommongoods.com

Elevate your style with the MB Chronowing Smartwatch, precision created by Michael Bastion. Stay connected and look good while doing it. $349 gilt.com

Puddles and raindrops will quiver in fear when you approach in these Timberland Earthkeepers Stormbuck 6" Duck Boots.

Premium full-grain waterproof leather upper provides protection to keep feet dry and comfortable in any weather. The seamsealed construction and the molded thermo-plastic rubberbrogue detailed toe cap offer additional waterproof protection. $195 timberland.com

Tennessee Pendant from Precious Metal Prints ~ Knoxville, TN

GIFTS • BRIDAL HOME • JEWELRY

330 Frazier Ave • Mon-Fri: 10-6 Sat: 10-5 423.266.0585 • plumnellyshop.com

‘Twas mere weeks before Christmas, and all through the town, people were frantically shopping, their faces creased with big frowns.

When a man suddenly appeared, loaded with books, his bright jolly face filled with a warm knowing look.

He had music and movies, and the latest hot games, “I found them all at one place, and McKay is the name!”

Then he loaded his sleigh, and called his reindeer, “Have a happy shopping season, and be of good cheer!”

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm chattanoogapulse.com • holiday shopping guide • december 11, 2014

• The Pulse • 23

24 • The Pulse • December 11, 2014 • holiday shopping guide • chattanoogapulse.com

Offering A Nicotine Alternative Chattanooga Vapor Co. makes switching to “vaping” easy It’s an industry so new that the language hasn’t yet completely caught up. But what it’s called is “vaping.” That’s the process of inhaling a flavored liquid that has been transformed to water vapor with the help of a little rechargeable battery. Those who partake are called “vapers.” And one of the new Chattanooga businesses catering to vapers is Chattanooga Vapor Company.

In business LOUIS for six months with three locations, Northshore, East Brainerd and Soddy-Daisy, Chattanooga Vapor Company is “smokin’ hot” these days.

Part of that language challenge is dropping an old term used in the early days (as in a couple of years ago), “e-cigging.” “The ecig terminology...we’re trying to move away from that and go to vaping,” says co-owner Pramod Potluri, “because we don’t want to associate ourselves with cigarettes in any way.” He says the term brings up bad imagery.

“When you hear ‘e-cigarette,’ you still have that mindset,” Potluri explains. “So we like to call it vaping because that’s exactly what it is.”

And as a lifelong nonsmoker,

I have to agree. When I walked into the store Monday afternoon, there was no lingering bad odor. In fact, it kind of reminded me of the air freshener aisle at a grocery store. “There’s a smell,” admits Putluri, “but it could be strawberries, or it could be Turkish tobacco.” But it doesn’t seem to linger.

The vapor dissiLEE pates very quickly after being exhaled. It doesn’t leave a visible trail, either.

No nicotine-stained yellowed walls in the home, no stale smell in clothes or hair—the vapor evaporates from objects as quickly as it does from the air.

Putluri says his customers notice many differences between smoking and vaping.

“Customers tell us all day long that once they switch, their sense of smell, their sense of taste completely improve,” he marvels. “They didn’t know what pizza tasted like for the last 30 years.”

He finds most vapers are people who are moving from cigarettes for health

Business Beat

Chattanooga Vapor Company 23 Cherokee Blvd.

Hours: Chattanooga, TN Mon-Sat: 10 a.m. - 10 p.m.

(423) 551-5919 Sunday: 11 a.m. - 8 p.m. www.chattanoogavaporco.com

and economic reasons. He says with cigarettes there are between 2,000 and 4,000 chemicals present. You light them to the point that they ignite, then you purposely inhale the resultant exhaust.

“When it comes to the liquids,” he explains, “it’s generally some propylene glycol and vegetable glycerine (Glycerol) with some flavoring added.”

And while he admits the health effects of the flavorings are approved for ingestion, they haven’t been tested long-term for inhalation.

As far as the other components, they’ve been used for years in the food and medical industries respectively. Both compounds are considered safe according to the U.S. Food and Drug Adminis-

day, that’s equivalent to around 1216mg of nicotine” Potluri notes. “You first want to be able to have a certain amount of nicotine equal to what they were getting when smoking, so that they’re able to make the switch to vaping. And once they make that switch, they can decide whether or not to slowly reduce, quickly reduce [the nicotine content].”

This month, in order to give back to the community, Chattanooga Vapor Company has teamed up with the Chattanooga Community Kitchen to feed the hungry.

Bring in some non-perishable food items listed on the CCK’s website or Chattanooga Vapors’ Facebook page and get 10 percent off your CVC purchase.

“Customers tell us all day long that once they switch, their sense of smell, their sense of taste completely improve.” tration.

Vaping can be healthier for your wallet as well.

Putluri breaks it down for us: “If someone smoked a pack a day, at $5 a pack, you’re up to $35 a week, so that’s $140 a month.

Even if you bought the better unit at $80 to $90, a 10ml bottle of our house ‘juice’ is $5-to-$6, and that’s equivalent to three or four packs of cigarettes.” He says the initial investment of the device quickly pays for itself.

And there’s the fact that vapers can choose the nicotine content of their pleasure.“When someone smoked, let’s say, a pack a

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

Time Once Again to Get Real Living or cut, real trees are the way to go this holiday season. Here’s why.

RUTH HOLMBERG ARTS LEADERSHIP AWARD 2015 Nominate someone today for the most prestigious arts award in Chattanooga.

The Ruth Holmberg Arts Leadership Award recognizes an individual who has made significant contributions to the arts in Chattanooga and who is actively engaged in the cultural life of our community.

“

It has a story to tell, a soothing presence amid the bustle, and a fragrance to remind us that we are all a part of and connected to diverse nature.”

To submit your nomination, visit www.artsbuild.com or email julie@artsbuild.com.

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute.

Visit her website at enviroedu.net

26 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

landfill—where it does not biodegrade.

Once again, the holiday question Compare that process to the path of arises: real or plastic? Is it best to pura real cut Christmas tree. Nature prochase a living tree, a cut tree, or an artivides free services to produce an everficial one you drag out for the next sevgreen with no pollution. There’s little en-to-nine years before sending it to labor required from the landfill? But, you an American-based wonder, if you buy Shades of Green tree farmer during an artificial tree every seven-to-nine years. few years, aren’t you SANDRA KURTZ While growing, that helping the environtree holds on to carbon. Once cut, the ment by saving real trees? Don’t we farmer plants its replacement. need to leave trees to collect carbon as When holidays are over, you can a hedge against climate disruption? set your tree out to biodegrade for From an environmental perspective, compost, provide winter shelter for the answer is NO to those last queswildlife, chip it or chop it, call 311 for tions and YES to a real living or cut recycling pickup (if you live in Chattatree. Here’s why: nooga) or take it to a collection center Think about what it takes to make for landscaping use. If you selected a an artificial tree. Plastic polyvinylchloliving tree, simply plant it. ride (PVC) resin and polypropylene Christmas tree farms provide jobs (PP) plus steel for the framework are in our area. There are eight in Eastern the main ingredients. Much energy Tennessee and 10 in North Georgia, with its associated pollution is required but North Carolina beats all with more to create the illusion of “tree.” There’s than 60. Assuming you don’t order a baking, shredding, fringing, colorColorado spruce, chances are your tree ing, wiring, cutting branches, pneuis a native, grown locally. Old-fashmatic fastening, and bolting to attach ioned cedar is found in the woods, but branches. Want a snowy look or a prenot sold at stands. On the market you lit model? Add latex paint, lights and might prefer white pine, but the most more labor. Then there’s packaging popular species is Fraser fir. That’s an and transportation with the embedded excellent choice. In fact the tannenenergy associated with cardboard and baum in the German Christmas song is plastic shrink wrap. a fir tree.

Doesn’t that create a lot of needed jobs? Yes, it does...in China, Korea and O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree, Taiwan, where almost all artificial trees How lovely are your branches! are made. Then you throw it away in a

fresh and authentic for over thirty years 5425 Highway 153 N. • Chattanooga, TN www.formosa-restaurant.com • 423.875.6953

11 straight years voted Best Chinese Restaurant by CityScope

Authentic. Fresh.

In beauty green will always grow Through summer sun and winter snow Some years ago, I kept an injured screech owl at my home for use in nature education. Owlivetti (named after the Olivetti brand typewriter because he made typewriter-sounding noises), would occasionally fly around the house for exercise.

One day before Christmas, we couldn’t find him. After a thorough search, we discovered him perched in the still undecorated Christmas tree, well camouflaged and happily leaning against the tree trunk as if he had

found true nature. That’s what I like most about bringing a real tree indoors for decoration and celebration with loved ones.

An artificial tree speaks more to an interior design accouterment. Each real tree is unique, a symbol of past cultural and religious traditions comingled with our times. It has a story to tell, a soothing presence amid the bustle, and a fragrance to remind us that we are all a part of and connected to diverse nature.

In these days of too much materialism, that’s important to remember.

May your holidays be ever green.

TAconoogA Where authentic Mexican food is our passion.

207 A Frazier Avenue (423) 757-5550 www.taconooga.com chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

ARTS SCENE

“Curtain Call” Not Their Final Bow

Final show at the Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art brims with talent

S

More Than the Ladies Who Lunch New exhibit seeks photos of women living their lives Do you know a woman who is the star of her own life?

The Jewish Federation of Greater Chattanooga and A Step Ahead Foundation are inviting local artists over 18 years old to submit up to three “photographic images of women fully experiencing life, whether that means working, studying, creating, hiking, traveling, interacting with children, playing with pets, or just relaxing,” for the 2015 exhibition “Leading Roles.”

Scheduled to run from March 26 through May 1, 2015, “Leading Roles” ties in with the mission of A Step Ahead Foundation Chattanooga, which strives to “ensure that, any Chattanooga-area woman seeking birth control, has access to longterm, reversible methods regardless of her ability to pay.”

According to organizers, the idea

connecting “Leading Roles” to their sponsors is that planning pregnancies and having an access to effective birth control, “enables women to make (and stick to) life plans— whether those plans include pursuing an education, learning a trade, exploring the world, or advancing a career,” and being able to continue to do so, if or when she feels ready to be a mother, thus allowing the woman be a “leading role” in her own life.

All entries must be submitted as a high-resolution digital image to Ann Treadwell by Thursday, Feb. 16, 2015. Photographers will be notified if their photograph(s) are selected by Feb. 20, 2015.

For more information including detailed submission guidelines, contact Treadwell at atreadwell@jewishchattanooga.com.

— Madeline Chambliss

FRI12.12

SAT12.13

Sun12.14

HOLIDAY RABBIT

HOLIDAY BALLET

HOLIDAY STORY

“The Velveteen Rabbit”

Chattanooga Ballet: “The Nutcracker”

“A Christmas Story:

The classic ballet comes to life at the Tivoli Theatre.

8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

Don't shoot your eye out.

2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com

The original story of how toys become real.

7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

The Musical!”

28 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

urprising as it may sound, a group contemporary art show in Chattanooga seems unprecedented. Works of 17 artists are currently on view at the Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art. This show, “Curtain Call,” just opened last week, and it will run only until Dec. 20, because of the closing of the gallery.

Arts michael crumb

“

The overall quality of these presentations is simply excellent.

Visitors will be rewarded with a memorable experience.”

Originally known as Graffiti, the Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art has been operating at this location about a year. The original partners, artist David Jones and his wife Laura, have since been joined by artist Jim Tucker and his wife Deb.The fact that both Jones and Tucker are artists likely contributes to the enthusiasm of the artists showing here, not only for the show itself, but for each other as well.

Although a few of these pieces have appeared at various AVA shows previously, most of the artists here present multiple selections so this show consists of quite a number of works. The overall quality of these presentations is simply excellent. Visitors will be rewarded with a memorable experience, and buyers should be enthused at such prospects.

Most of the works are paintings, and the sense of contemporary style sometimes emerges from a kind of technical mysteriousness in that the method of painting is in no way obvious, prompting the question, “How is that done?” At other times, concepts that inform these paintings show a sense of evolution, of complex thoughts that stand realized in fascinating execution.

Some works exhibit both of these qualities.

There are also sculptures informed by similar attitudes. Maria Willison, who also works as an assistant to the innovative sculpture and painter Cessna Decosimo, presents an inspired piece called, “Parity” which features a female nude apparently “surfing” on a crescent moon. The conceptual advancement of the human figure remains difficult, but Willison rises to the challenge, and both the depth and playfulness of her concept are complemented by the surface she imparts to this feminine figure. Her

Sandra Paynter Washburn, "Tourmaline"

other entries, “Graphite Torso” and “Discus (Segment),” not only show an intense faithfulness to the figure itself, but also a commitment to a kind of visual tactility.

Turry Lindstrom’s steel forms often produce a sense of amazement in their dynamic play of symmetry/asymmetry, as well as in their complex realization of balance. Some bright, some dark, Lindstrom’s finishes are monochromatic, calling attention to the values of their formal interplay.

Eddie Graham’s wood vases and a bowl are clearly functional, but the remarkable beauty of wood grains is ironically heightened by their sources. Graham insists that his pieces are produced from abandoned wood, bringing the poignant realization of beauty reclaimed from what may be, and sometimes is, lost.

Among the paintings, Devon Kronenberg’s work emphasizes the illusory quality of painting. The impression taken at a distance may well be transformed on closer examination. There’s a kind of scientific attitude here in that an image may be rendered in different ways, quite remarkably.

Eric Keller’s paintings range in size from large to small. His figures, “Nothing is Hidden That Will Not Be Revealed” and “Transmigration Series #6” seem monumental, the former all red and the latter blacks and off-white, combine a sense of interiority with the exteriority of these figures, sublimely surreal! His landscapes of varying degrees of abstraction show a mysterious paint technique.

“Instant” by Renel Plouffe also combines the external representation of a figure with a sense of dark cityscape that is quite abstracted, resulting in a surreal affect of the complexity of a single moment.

Jake Kelly offers “The Burden We Bear,” an interesting geometric abstract with “paint.” Hard to figure—but engaging.

There are some other remarkable paintings by women. Ellyn Bivin convays moods with great finesse. Her “A Sense of Balance” shows incredible nuances of a precarious moment. Her palette suggests mostly pastels, and her works portray a deep intelligence.

Sandra Painter Washburn’s “Tourmaline” combines paint and collage to extraordinary effects, and her other pieces continue this trend, rich colors and complex thought.

Laura Willet does complex portraiture in an engaging series. Her methods are not obvious. Images of a girl resemble “avatars” dealing with existential dilemmas.

Other interesting painting styles emerge from Josiah Golson, whose “New Wave Love” recalls Goddard’s “Breathless.” “Love Life” combines sensuality with complications.

Alejandro Caraballo's “Vu A Lo Modo” may be a Cubist unicorn’s head, but his painting technique engages a sense of wonder, drawing deep attention.

Strangely amusing assemblages from Ken Hedrin provoke our sense of play.

Larry Young’s “Swept Away” engages our sense of abstraction. James McKissic’s works invite us into a dreamlike world.

Jim Tucker’s “End of the Evening” bring us into an inspiring city night, full of mystery. Also check out his drawings. David Jones shows “Blue Horizon,” a richly colorful, abstracted view—a window into art—imagination rules! Enjoy!

••• The Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art, 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 400-9797.

CALL 267-8534 OR VISIT THEATRECENTRE.COM

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

ARTS CALENDAR

Camp Chair Cinema: "An Island In The Sky"

thursday12.11

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com

Our biggest one yet!

Now Open!

Christmas at Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Holidays at the Hunter: A Chairman’s Circle Celebration 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “A Christmas Story: The Musical!”

7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Jake Gulledge 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “VHSplosion” 10:30 p.m.

Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

friday12.12 Trunk Show with JennyThreads 10 a.m.

30 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

River Galllery 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Chattanooga Boys Choirs Singing Christmas Tree 6:15 p.m.

Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com USA Dance Annual Holiday Ball 6:45 p.m.

Brainerd United Methodist 4315 Brainerd Rd. (423) 698-6951 chattanoogausadance.com Jake Gulledge 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Pulse Pick: Jake Gulledge With a unique approach to using humorous stories and an R&B vocal style in contemporary comedy, Jake has the ability to reach multiple genres because of his humor.

Jake Gulledge The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

“The Velveteen Rabbit” 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “A Christmas Story: The Musical!”

8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Chattanooga Ballet: “The Nutcracker” 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com Camp Chair Cinema 8 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga

200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Yuletide Roulette Dance Event 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

saturday12.13 Hiwasse Wildlife Refuge by Kayak 10 a.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com St. Alban’s Hixson Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 Brainerd Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 Northside Farmers’ Market on Mississippi 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian 953 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga Holiday Market 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 chattanoogamarket.com

ARTS CALENDAR

Chattanooga Ballet: "The Nutcracker"

Run Run Rudolph 5K 10 a.m.

Coolidge Park runrun5k.com PopTots: A Musical Masterpiece for Toddlers Noon Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Christmas Open House 1 p.m.

Georgia Winery 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

(706) 937-9463 georgiawines.com Artful Yoga at the Hunter Museum 1:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “A Christmas Story: The Musical!”

2:30, 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Holiday Carolers at the Chattanoogan Hotel 3 p.m.

The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com Jake Gulledge 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

“The Velveteen Rabbit” 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Chattanooga Ballet: “The Nutcracker” 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com Yuletide Roulette Dance Event 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

sunday12.14 Chattanooga Holiday Market 11 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 chattanoogamarket.com Jazzanooga Presents Brunch at The Hunter 11 a.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Holiday Carolers at the Chattanoogan Hotel 1 p.m.

The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3700

chattanooganhotel.com Festive Wreath Workshop 2 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Chattanooga Ballet: “The Nutcracker” 2 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com “The Velveteen Rabbit” 2:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “A Christmas Story: The Musical!”

2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Jake Gulledge 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday12.15 The Backlot: A Place for Filmmakers 6:30 p.m.

Heritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474

Monday Night Lindy Hop—Swing Dance 7 p.m.

Clearspring Yoga 105 N. Market St. (423) 266-3539 clearspringyoga.com

tuesday12.16 Jill Burton, Wade Matthews, Evan Lipson 7:30 p.m.

Mark Making 302 Noll St. (423) 266-3041 markmaking.org

wednesday12.17 Chattanooga Boys Choirs Singing Christmas Tree 12:05 p.m.

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195 stpaulschatt.org Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstreetfarmersmarket.com Community Yoga benefiting Chattanooga Young Artistic Network 5:30 p.m.

Thrive Studio 191 River St. (423) 800-0676 Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Come Experience the Magic of Christmas!

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth” World Reviewer

Now Open!

RubyFalls.com

423.821.2544 Open Weekends!

RubyFallsZip.com

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 31

SCREEN SCENE

Those Kind of Movies—Now’s Your Chance Mise En Scenesters celebrates direct-tovideo with “VHSplosion”

Winter Films Announced at JCC Jewish Cultural Center continues to embrace cinema Two Jewish-themed, award-winning films will be shown on two consecutive Saturday evenings beginning Jan. 10 at the Jewish Cultural Center, located at 5461 N. Terrace Rd. “Above and Beyond,” on Jan. 10, is about a group of World War II pilots who volunteered to fight for Israel in its War of Independence. As members of Machal—volunteers from abroad—the ragtag band of brothers not only turned the tide of the war, preventing the possible annihilation of Israel at the very moment of its birth; they also laid the groundwork for the Israeli Air Force.

✴✴✴✴

“Before the Revolution,” on Jan. 17, is a documentary thriller describing the last days of the Israeli community in Tehran, on the eve of the Islamic Revolution in 1979. The director, whose family was in Tehran at the time, uses rare archive materials to illustrate how thousands of Israelis, who enjoyed unusual affinity with the Shah’s regime, wake up one morning to find their paradise vanished.

Individual tickets are $7 per person and include complimentary popcorn and a soft drink.

For more information, (423) 4930270 or visit jewishchattanooga.com

NEW IN THEATERS

✴✴✴✴

Exodus: Gods and Kings Top Five The defiant leader Moses rises up A popular comedian is trying to tranagainst the Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses, sition to being seen as a serious actor setting 600,000 slaves on a monumenwhen his reality-TV star fiancée talks tal journey of escape from Egypt and him into broadcasting their wedding its terrifying cycle of deadly plagues. on her TV show.

Director: Ridley Scott Director: Chris Rock Stars: Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, Stars: Chris Rock, Rosario DawBen Kingsley, Sigourney Weaver son, Gabrielle Union, Kevin Hart 32 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

S

ome weekends Hollywood takes a break. Or at least, Chattanooga’s theaters don’t bother to bring the films released to audiences in the Scenic City. Some might take a week like this to leave the darkened theater, experience the outside world and spend some time in reality.

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

If the track record of MES is any indication, none of the films included in the series will be boring.”

But given what I’ve seen of reality the last few weeks, I’d prefer to spend my time in the world of fiction where the lines between good and bad are much simpler. Far be it from me to condemn anyone for using entertainment as an escape—even if I find certain movies to be a waste of time and resources, someone, somewhere is feeling better for a little while because of a film.

A week like this one is an excellent time to look elsewhere for distraction, somewhere outside the typical movie theater experience. Luckily, Mise En Scenesters is offering something new in their repertoire. Thursday, Dec. 11 features the first in an ongoing series of fascinating exploration in the world of VHS direct-to-video releases. “VHSplosion” begins at Sluggo’s at 10:30 p.m. with a yet unnamed film that is sure to confuse and captivate.

Direct-to-video releases are a fast-fading art form that deserves quite a bit of recognition. The advent of the video cassette changed the film industry in a variety of ways. It opened the floodgates for amateur filmmakers to finance their movies and get their work shown in a very real, very widespread medium. Whatever success YouTube and Vine has given new and ambitious filmmakers, VHS came first. Of course, like most new mediums, genre

G R E AT E R V I S I O N | L E GAC Y F I V E | BOOT H B ROT H E R S

Tickets on sale

NOW!

films dominated the initial rise of the VHS market. It’s probably safe to say that genre films were never overtaken by mainstream films in terms of volume. Flea markets and dime stores are still filled with various gems from this era of film history. “Gem” might be too strong a word for some of these films—quality in many of them is low and at times laughable. These are movies that would be ripe for the MST3K treatment. In fact, some might be so strange they would be out of place even there. But if the track record of MES is any indication, none of the films included in the series will be boring.

According to MES, they are digging “deep into the dark heart of the MES VHS archive to curate a selection of some of the rarest/coolest/strangest films ever made and never allowed to be in print in any other format.”

Anyone who remembers visiting a video store (a real one, owned by actual people who enjoy film, not a Blockbuster or Movie Gallery staffed by bored teenagers) has had the experience of wandering the shelves, not knowing exactly what they were looking for. There was always a section set apart from the half-dozen copies of “Titanic,” a section with disgusting covers and bleeding fonts. The younger you were, the more time you

spent in that part of the store. Your fingers would drift over the titles, lingering on some covers for longer than others, looking over your shoulder for a wandering judgmental eye. Quickly, you’d pick it up, read the back, and return it to place on the shelf. You knew you’d never see that movie.

Some force would stop you, be it parents or girlfriend or embarrassment.

But you’d wonder what exactly this film was.

MES is now sating your curiosity. They are inviting you to see that film...maybe not that exact one, but that doesn’t matter, not really. What matters is the experience. Seeing something you wanted to see in your youth, something strange and wonderful. VHSplosion promises not to judge you.

MES has been less active this year due to the renovations at Barking Legs Theater. They’ve been homeless of sorts, as Chattanooga is lacking in appropriate venues for their special brand of weird. But they’ve endured: Just a few weeks ago they screened “Crime Wave” and now they are offering their first installment of VHSplosion at Sluggo’s. For $5, you can forget about the nonsense of the world and focus on the nonsense of the screen.

For me, that sounds like a bargain.

DECEMBER 15, 2014 - 7:00 PM ICCM CELEBRATION CENTER, CHATTANOOGA, TN

TO PURCHASE TICKETS CALL 800.965.9324 OR VISIT www.IMCconcerts.com All ticket sales by phone or internet may be subject to additional service fees. There will be no refund or exchange of tickets given.

This tour is promoted and managed by Innovative Management a division of IMC Concerts.

Featuring Alison Brown

LUKEN HOLDINGS POPS SERIES

Home for the Holidays Concert sponsored by First Tennessee Foundation

December 20, 2014 • 7:30PM December 21, 2014 • 3:00PM Tivoli Theatre

423.267.8583 • www.chattanoogasymphony.org Riverview Foundation

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 33

Craft Pizza, Craft Beer Always a Lot of Fun! is a state of mind,

a culture, a way of being. Our mission is to provide delicious food in a fun and creative environment. We are the originators of the Classic Southern Pizza, & our unique and flavorful crust is a true original.

205 Broad Street • 423.266.5564 Mellow Mushroom Chattanooga

2318 LifestyleWay • 423.468.3737 Mellow MushroomWaterside

DAILY

KARAOKE

HAPPY HOUR

STARTS at 9 PM

3 - 9 PM

THURSDAYS

C O M E T RY O U R B R A N D N E W LU N C H M E N U !

5450 Highway 153 in Hixson • (423) 875-8049 34 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

— William James President Jimmy Carter once said that volunteerism will save this country. Living in the “Volunteer State,” I hope we all take that advice seriously.

We affect others all the time, in small ways and big. A smile to a stranger in the grocery store may make that person’s day, and help them forget their problems for a while. Volunteering to help kids, or the elderly, or the disadvantaged may well have life-altering benefits—for them and for you. You might see the results of the good you’ve done, or you may never hear about them. But they happen anyway.

How you speak to your partner, your neighbor, your friends and perfect strangers matters. What you do for others matters. Random acts of kindness can change the world. Your energy interacts with the energy of all other humans, and good things can happen. So whenever possible, pay attention.

Lead with your heart. And think of your words and actions as gifts that might change someone’s world.

chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 35

Free Will Astrology

bar

Drink Specials Tuesday: 1/2 priced wine Wednesday: $4 featured infusions Thursday: 25% off low-grav drafts Friday: 25% off bottled beer Sunday: Brunch! $5 Bloody Marys and $3 mimosas ‘til close

55 Johnson Street flyingsquirrelbar.com

Weekday specials are from 5-10pm

Join us for the Monday Night Football Pregame Show Live every Monday evening from 6 to 8 p.m. at World of Beer in downtown Chattanooga.

Wells Guthrie and his guest co-host will preview the Monday Night Football game, discuss other current sports topics, and give away plenty of prizes.

412 Market Street Downtown Chattanooga 36 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Harper Lee was born and raised in Alabama. At the age of 23, she relocated to New York City with hopes of becoming a writer. It was a struggle. To support herself, she worked as a ticket agent for airline companies. Finding the time to develop her craft was difficult. Seven years went by. Then one Christmas, two friends gave her a remarkable gift: enough money to quit her job and work on her writing for a year. During that grace period, Lee created the basics for a book that won her a Pulitzer Prize: To Kill a Mockingbird. I don’t foresee anything quite as dramatic for you in the coming months, Sagittarius. But I do suspect you will receive unexpected help that provides you with the slack and spaciousness you need to lay the foundations for a future creation.

Pisces. Get reacquainted with the old selves you have outgrown and abandoned.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the ancient Greek epic poem the Odyssey, Odysseus’s wife Penelope describes two kinds of dreams. “Those that that pass through the gate of ivory,” she says, are deceptive. But dreams that “come forth through the gate of polished horn” tell the truth.

Another ancient text echoes these ideas. In his poem the Aeneid, Virgil says that “true visions” arrive here from the land of dreams through the gate of horn, whereas “deluding lies” cross over through the gate of ivory. Judging from the current astrological omens, Capricorn, I expect you will have interesting and intense dreams flowing through both the gate of ivory and the gate of horn. Will you be able to tell the difference? Trust love.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Whenever I lost one of my baby teeth as a kid, I put it under my pillow before I went to sleep. During the night, the Tooth Fairy sneaked into my room to snatch the tooth, and in its place left me 25 cents.

The same crazy thing happened to every kid I knew, although for unknown reasons my friend John always got five dollars for each of his teeth—far more than the rest of us.

I see a metaphorically comparable development in your life, Taurus.

It probably won’t involve teeth or a visit from the Tooth Fairy. Rather, you will finally be compensated for a loss or deprivation or disappearance that you experienced in the past. I expect the restitution will be generous, too—more like John’s than mine.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your chances of going viral are better than usual. It’s a perfect moment to upload a YouTube video of yourself wearing a crown of black roses and a V for Vendetta mask as you ride a unicycle inside a church and sing an uptempo parody version of “O Come All Ye Faithful.”

It’s also a favorable time for you to create a buzz for you and your pet causes through less spectacular measures. Promote yourself imaginatively.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Through the scientific magic of grafting, a single tree can be altered to grow several different kinds of fruit at the same time. One type of “fruit salad tree” produces apricots, nectarines, plums, and peaches, while another bears grapefruits, lemons, oranges, limes, and tangelos. I’m thinking this might be an apt and inspiring symbol for you in the coming months, Gemini. What multiple blooms will you create on your own metaphorical version of a fruit salad tree?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): At age 80, author Joan Didion has published five novels, ten works of non-fiction, and five screenplays.

When she was 27, she wrote, “I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.” That wasn’t a good thing, she added: “We are well-advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.” I recommend her counsel to you in the coming months,

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Lord Byron (1788-1824) was an English poet who loved animals. In the course of his life, he not only had dogs and cats as pets, but also monkeys, horses, peacocks, geese, a crocodile, a falcon, a crane, and a parrot. When he enrolled in Trinity College at age 17, he was upset that the school’s rules forbade students from having pet dogs, which meant he couldn’t bring his adored Newfoundland dog Boatswain. There was no regulation, however, against having a tame bear as a pet. So Byron got one and named it Bruin.

I think it’s time for you to find a workaround like that, Aries. Be cunning. Try a gambit or two. Find a loophole.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): No other structure on the planet is longer than the Great Wall of China, which stretches 3,945 miles. It’s not actually one unbroken span, though. Some sections aren’t connected, and there are redundant branches that are roughly parallel to the main structure. It reminds me of your own personal Great Wall, which is monumental yet permeable, strong in some ways but weak in others, daunting to the casual observer but less so to those who take the time to study it. Now is an excellent time to take inventory of that wall of yours. Is it serving you well? Is it keeping out

the influences you don’t want but allowing in the influences you do want? Could it use some renovation? Are you willing to reimagine what its purpose is and how you want it to work for you in the future?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Arctic Monkeys are British rockers who have produced five studio albums, which together have sold almost five million copies. Rolling Stone magazine called their first album, released in 2003, the 30th greatest debut of all time. Yet when they first formed in 2002, none of them could play a musical instrument. I see the current era of your life, Leo, as having a similar potential. How might you start from scratch to create something great?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Alan Turing (1912-1954) was a British mathematician and pioneering computer scientist. After World War II broke out, he got worried that the German army might invade and occupy England, as it had done to France. To protect his financial assets, he converted everything he owned into bars of silver, then buried them underground in the countryside north of London.

When the war ended, he decided it was safe to dig up his fortune.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t recall where he had put it, and never did find it. Let’s draw a lesson from his experience, Virgo. It’s fine if you want to stash a treasure or protect a secret or safeguard a resource.

That’s probably a sensible thing to do right now. But make sure you remember every detail about why and how you’re doing it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Even if you are not formally enrolled in a course of study or a training program, you are nevertheless being schooled. Maybe you’re not fully conscious of what you have been learning. Maybe your teachers are disguised or unwitting. But I assure you that the universe has been dropping some intense new knowledge on you. The coming week will be an excellent time to become more conscious of the lessons you have been absorbing. If you have intuitions about where this educational drama should go next, be proactive about making that happen.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You now have a special ability to detect transformations that are happening below the threshold of everyone else’s awareness. Anything that has been hidden or unknown will reveal itself to your gentle probes.

You will also be skilled at communicating your discoveries to people who are important to you. Take full advantage of these superpowers. Don’t underestimate how pivotal a role you can play as a teacher, guide, and catalyst. The future success of your collaborative efforts depends on your next moves.

Jonesin’ Crossword

Pilgrim Congregational Church

matt jones

(UCC)

Celebrating 100 years of providing the Chattanooga community with a liberal Christian tradition Learn more about our mission and activities at pilgrim-church.com

Sunday Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street (423) 698-5682

ACROSS 1 Little bites 5 Full of snark 10 Bill dispensers 14 Frigg’s husband, in Norse myth 15 Be loud, like a radio 16 Brush off 17 Succumb to gravity 18 Spanish guy who joined a Germanic tribe?

20 “I just thought of something!”

21 “___ my heart open...” (Papa Roach lyric) 22 Vegetarian option 24 Academic aides, briefly 27 Hidden beneath the surface 30 Avant-garde composer Glass 33 Big house fixture 34 Like many actresses on “Baywatch”?

38 Modeler’s moldable medium 39 Devious little devil

40 Less complicated 42 Eisenhower’s WWII command 43 “J’adore” perfumier 45 Author of “The Watergate Diaries”?

47 Actress Pompeo 49 Assumes the role of 50 Infrequently 52 Opening piece?

53 Produce 57 Bassoons’ smaller relatives 59 Swing in the ring 60 The most one-sided line in US history?

65 Money in Milan, before the euro 66 Destroy 67 Emcee’s delivery 68 Sandler on guitar 69 “Nurse Jackie” star Falco 70 Posh neckwear 71 Is the author of DOWN 1 Health food claim 2 “Famous

Potatoes” state 3 Rice side 4 “Celebrity Jeopardy” broadcaster, for short 5 Network Stephen Colbert is moving to 6 Carte or mode preceder 7 Levy 8 “Star Trek” counselor Deanna 9 Streisand movie 10 Afro-___ languages 11 Song that goes “So whyyyyyy don’t you use it?”

12 Item stating “World’s Greatest Dad” 13 Nestle’s ___-Caps 19 It’s sealed with a shake 23 Code for a scanner 24 It’s below the femur 25 Reunion attendee 26 Beer buy 28 “Hey, that’s cool!”

29 Model, like clothes 31 Dept. formerly headed by Kathleen

Sebelius 32 Well-behaved 34 ___ one’s time (waits) 35 “Germinal” author Zola 36 Mission that included a moonwalk 37 Cluttered up 41 Genetic info carrier 44 Leon who sang the theme to “Mr. Belvedere” 46 School of thought 48 Hands-together time 51 News outlets 54 Tolerate 55 Holy book 56 Major tests 58 Serious sevensome 60 Beats by ___ 61 Diaphragm alternative 62 “Senses Working Overtime” band 63 “___ y Plata” (Montana’s motto) 64 “Uh-uh!”

65 Once around

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0704

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chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 37

1

The Camaraderie of The Thin Blue Line Officer Alex attempts to explain cop bonding while in hot water

“

Any readers that have worked in the food and beverage industry know what I’m referring to when they are on duty, and another bartender or waiter or waitress comes in for service.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

I was in a hot tub in a Hyatt hotel just outside of Nashville when a complete stranger across from me asked if “the deal about the thin blue line, about the camaraderie, was as real as TV and movies makes it out to be?” I took a slow breath and tried not to change expressions.

ALEX Over the years, people often ask me the same questions over and over about my job.

“Have you ever killed someone?” “Is that body armor really heavy?” “Do you really not have to pay for your gasoline?”

The repetitive “Hey! Hey, he’s the one you came for!” jokes get old after the 72nd time, yes. But I genuinely never tire of people with sincere questions, no matter how many times I’ve heard them.

I answered with a “yes and no” to the man sharing the 104° water.

“Don’t get me wrong; when it comes to something life-anddeath and the far less intense things in between, it’s all 100

percent true,” I said, while removing a bit of floating lettuce from the area of my chest. “But otherwise? We’re no different than most places of business.

You don’t leave an expensive flashlight lying around, we stab each other in the back over women, and I can think of maybe only TEACH one story in which a cop was willing to give up their job for the stupid mistake of another.”

I paused to reflect for a moment, which my guest surprisingly did not interrupt, and I concluded, “But it’s like that in most places. We just get a brighter spotlight than most.”

The stranger looked puzzled, but he had the decency of trying to hide it. I cut ahead of his next words (whatever they may been) by saying “You ever heard the phrase ‘I can trust you with my life, but not my wallet’? I’m fairly certain that came from a cop.”

He nodded knowingly, to my relief. There appeared to be a slice of dill pickle sticking to his hairy

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38 • The Pulse • December 11-17, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

right tricep, the frothing water nipping at the bottom of it.

It’s not my goal to disappoint anyone or shatter any myths, but it’s not as concrete and pervasive as Hollywood would have you believe during their conspiratorial “bad cop fests”...the idea of a line between cops and the public they serve. Are there lines between them? Absolutely, but not when it comes to matters that border on or clearly become those of a criminal nature.

People inherently fear authority figures, and fear is an emotion that does not produce much in the way of positive thinking.

That disdain in turn makes it difficult for the average cop who is busting his or her ass to feel even remotely appreciated for the sacrifices they make and the risks they take, but that’s all just a part of “the job.” If you can’t accept it, you either leave or explode. (And then leave.)

The camaraderie I speak of is less dramatic, but something that most of you can relate to.

Any readers that have worked in the food and beverage industry know what I’m referring to when they are on duty, and another bartender or waiter or waitress comes in for service. You don’t overtly treat them differently from other customers pres-

ent, but there is an unspoken “thing” you observe, known as professional courtesy. You take care of them, they take care of you. Because they understand.

Is that so sinister? So wrong?

That is the subtle feeling I am trying to describe when talking about the bond between police officers. A silent understanding that you are dealing with another person who understands things that so few others could.

Someone else who understands why you can’t just go home and talk about your “day at the office” when that day consisted of seeing a child’s corpse blackened and charred in the back of an SUV that caught fire on the interstate a few hours before, and then witnessing the moment the parent discovers it.

Someone who you can talk to, without ever saying a word. Now that is a bond, one most marriages don’t even have. It can be that close. That bond, that camaraderie, is not about lying or cover-ups or subterfuge. It’s about understanding. It’s about respect.

And that much is true. But trust me on the advice about the expensive flashlights. (And don’t ever, ever bother trying to eat a Hardee’s burger in a hot tub.

Well—unless it’s not your own.)

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chattanoogapulse.com • December 11-17, 2014 • The Pulse • 39