The Pulse 11.34 » August 21, 2014

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The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

AUGUST 21, 2014

GREEN HOME REMODELING WHAT TO DO, WHERE TO GO, HOW TO MAKE IT WORK

SAVE THE DATE Saturday, November 1st Sponsorship Info: TNCelebration.org 2 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

AUGUST

C

Happenings

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole

BEGINNINGS: Chattanoogans need access to healthy, affordable food

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Rob Brezsny Madeline Chambliss • John DeVore Kevin Hale • Matt Jones • Marc T. Michael Mike McJunkin • Steve O’Neil • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Editorial Interns Maggie Hanna • Zach Nicholson Rachael Poe

Features

Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown • Craig Glass Rick Leavell • Lisa McVay • Leif Sawyer Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

GOING GREEN AT HOME

Remodeling? There are lots of environment-friendly options

AUTO: In search of the most efficient car in America today SCREEN: “Boyhood” is stunning in its universal reveals RECORDS: Phil Kay invites escapes, White Reaper isn’t afraid to rawk

CONTACT

ARTS: The arts rev up in late August and September…

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media.All rights reserved.

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Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 34

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brewEr media group

ontents

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2014

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FOOD: “Miracle berries” are fun adult food experiment MIXOLOGY: Why is there fruit in my beer? We find out...

SCENIC IN THE CITY

Scenic channels ’90s college/alt rock in the best way

Voices ALEX TEACH: Officer Alex pontificates on Ferguson, MO and asks that people wait for the facts

Good selection! All makes and models.

Call Mike Hicks, The Credit Doctor

423-875-2023

5348 Highway 153 at Hixson Pike • Chattanooga • www.MarshallMizeFord.com

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Battling To End All Food Deserts We’ve got our North Chattanooga Publix—but food deserts still exist

“

Let us be an example that every community needs and deserves healthy food close to where they live”

When I moved to North Chattanooga in 2000, I would ask various community leaders when a grocery store was going to open in the area.

“You’ll have to settle for Bueller’s,” one guy told me. (Bueller’s is a small grocer on Market Street with limited selection—great for the communities it serves, but not a store for the masses).

And then Greenlife came to Riverview. The quaint store on the corner definitely fit the hippie, all-natural vibe the area was coming to embody.

The Pruett family saw the benefits of a new business model with Greenlife. Meanwhile, a food desert lan-

guished at the intersection of North Market and Frazier/Cherokee.

To qualify as a “low-access community,” at least 500 people and/or at least 33 percent of the census tract’s population must reside more than one mile from a supermarket or large grocery store (for rural census tracts, the distance is more than 10 miles). The closest large grocery store in those days was the Bi-Lo on Signal Mountain Road, which is three miles away.

And even when it opened in 1999, the Greenlife KEVIN HALE store in Riverview was never really considered a full-service grocery store. The founders knew this and opened a gleaming, platinum LEED-certified structure on Manufacturers Road. The new store garnered so much business the smaller store in Riverview was soon closed.

The Hill City community now had a grocery store within walking distance, but few lowincome residents could afford the steep prices.

Another glaring irony was the fact the highpriced store was on Manufacturers Road, long synonymous with blue-collar workers.

By 2011, Whole Foods Markets had purchased Greenlife Grocery and completely remodeled the store. But again, many who lived near the store couldn’t afford to shop there.

Rumors began to surface about a grocery store coming to the North Market area. I remember driving by the tract of land where a dilapidated former gas station stood. Could a

Views

4 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

full-service grocery store complete the area’s renaissance?

Everyone I talked to said no. By looking at the tract of land, it was way too small.

Until, one day, a large wooden sign declaring “Publix coming soon!” was erected. Was it a mirage in this food desert? And a Publix at that! The chain that continually ranks highest in customer satisfaction was on its way.

But then it started to sink in.

Of course Publix. Their employees and shareholders know what consumers want. From my own experience in Fort Myers, the grocery chain was in every single neighborhood. Now the people of Hill City were about to experience it for themselves. Now this one-time food desert has its oasis.

But other communities are still living in their deserts. Let us be an example that every community needs and deserves healthy food close to where they live. It shouldn’t be a privilege. To the decision-makers: Please reconsider where you put your stores.

It may seem scary to place a store in a “high crime” area. But chances are that community will welcome you with open arms— and your presence will make a crucial difference.

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE WITH AMERICAN AQUARIUM

FRIDAY • SEPTEMBER 5 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $18 ADVANCE • $20 DAY OF

To Market, To Market Each Day of the Week This past Monday, the Lookout Farmers Market kicked off their newest market location with a grand opening ceremony at Hamilton Place.

The new farmers market is located in a high-traffic area, at New Hope Presbyterian Church on Shallowford Road, just across from Hamilton Place Mall.

The Lookout Farmers Market supports and encourages organic and sustainable growing practices by bringing local farmers to their six area markets. All farmers and producers participating in the Lookout Farmers Market are located within 100 miles of the market and use sustainable farming practices. The principle of “know your farmer, know your food,” is one

of the best parts of the markets’ environment.

Organizers plan to have the market run every Monday through Christmas. Locally grown fresh produce, baked goods, grass-fed meats, free ranged eggs, herbs, breads, cakes, pastries, jam, nuts, doggie treats, fresh-squeezed lemonade, herbs, candles, soap, botanicals, art, jewelry, prepared foods and food carts will be featured, as well as weekly entertainment, educational programs, and fun activities.

The Lookout Farmers Market strives to be accessible to everyone and therefore the market is accepting SNAP/EBT cards to make organically grown, fresh, local produce more affordable and available to low-income families.

— Staff

IN THIS ISSUE

Steve O’Neil Steve O’Neil, MSc, has twenty years of professional experience with environmental-related organizations including executive management, advisor, corporate governance, and founding entrepreneur. Steve is Managing Partner of Consensus Energy,

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David Traver Adolphus a commercial and industrial energy-savings consulting with offices in Chattanooga and Atlanta. Steve has served as Executive Director of the Chattanooga Nature Center, Executive Director of SouthWings, SE Regional Director of Center for the Restoration of Waters @ Ocean Arks International, and has served on the boards of the Chattanooga Nature Center and Dogwood Alliance in North Carolina.

David Traver Adolphus is our resident car geek, covering all things automotive for us on a monthly basis. David is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full-time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old

AND new cars. David occasionally contributes to Road & Track and often to roadandtrack.com and elsewhere.

He is also the founder of The Road Home, a nonprofit benefitting post-9/11 veterans.

He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Airbag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus. He is still waiting to hear back from VW on his SUV name idea.

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chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

The Most Efficient Car in America Is...

It’s not what you think, and pandas are involved

“

Those battery packs only last 10 years or so, so unless you hook your fancy hybrid to a horse and never actually turn it on, you’re trapped in carbon debt you can never repay.”

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Airbag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus.

dies.

It’s easy to make a claim If you want to be green, for fuel efficiency. A small then your job is to not just engine, some battery to minimize your carbon packs, regenerative brakfootprint, but your overing, low-rolling resistance all carbon debt. Carbon tires and high-efficiency debt repelectric moresents the tors and your complete ads can say energy exyour Chevy penditure Volt is EPA DAVID TRAVER involved rated at ADOLPHUS in getting 98eMPG. a car into your hands, and There is a whole lot of it’s not easy to figure out, controversy and disagreebut basically you want a ment about exactly how car built not just efficientthe eMPG standard should ly, but as close to you as be calculated and I care so possible, to minimize the little about it that I dozed transportation costs. off briefly between typObviously, a Chattanooing “e” and “M.” Because ga-built VW sounds ideal, there’s one very important but as none of those are factor usually overlooked more than three years old, when talking about hybrid they’re eliminated from cars: Every time someone contention for reasons buys one, a baby panda

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6 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Air Bag

we’ll discuss later.

Since that doesn’t work, an American-built hybrid would seem like the logical alternative. High-MPG cars can make claims of greenness because as you drive around burning gas, you’re adding to your total carbon debt, thus making it harder to pay off.

Poor mileage is like a high interest rate on a credit card; and using less gas is a low rate, so you can make that payoff faster.

That assumes, however, that each gallon of gas is equal in each car, which is where the electric car falls down hard, because a big chunk of the gas they use comes from China.

To build an electric battery capable of moving a 3,000 pound car for a couple hundred miles, you need rare earth elements, and China takes somewhere north of 90 percent of the world’s supply out

of the ground.

Not to offend any readers with a stake in a Chinese mining concern, but they’re not exactly famous for doing it cleanly (Beijing Olympics, anyone?).

The “rare” part of “rare earth” makes it very, very hard to do this cleanly to begin with, as these metals occur in minute quantities, which requires moving vast quantities of dirt. To move all that dirt, there’s really no substitute for enslaving pandas and teaching them to sniff out scandium, yttrium and lanthanides.

Unfortunately, their little paws soon become raw, and the average mining panda dies of blood poisoning within the first eight months on the job, after which they’re harvested for their pelts.

All of this creates an carbon debt associated with making high-tech batter-

ies and despite a worldwide forced panda breeding initiative, it’s unsustainable. On top of all that, those battery packs only last 10 years or so, so unless you hook your fancy hybrid to a horse and never actually turn it on, you’re trapped in carbon debt you can never repay.

But what if you could find a car that came with zero carbon debt? You’d be starting with a clean credit record and no outstanding balance, so what you did from there would be entirely your responsibility.

This car would have to meet all the criteria—low initial impact; low secondary impact (cargo freighters contribute like 20 percent of total worldwide airborne particulates); and low user impact—high mileage and low maintenance. This car is a 1991 Toyota Corolla.

Built at the old California NUMMI plant, any carbon debt the Corolla accrued was paid decades ago.

A 110hp 1.6 liter gem of an engine runs for 250,000 miles before it even starts thinking about getting old, while giving 26MPG city on low oc-

tane gas.

They handle beautifully, age well and never break down. You could also buy a Marysville, Ohio-built Honda Civic or Accord from the same era and get more or less the same experience, but you get the idea. OK, or a Westmorelandbuilt Rabbit.

The point is, no new car can ever be as environmentally friendly as a really, really old one, especially if it’s remotely f u e l - e ff i c i e n t and built in America. Heck, a ’60s Ford Falcon with the 200-cu. in. six is a fantastic car, and a lowmileage cherry of any one of these won’t cost you more than $7,500.

You’re not going to be getting into a 2015 TDI Golf for that.

So the next time you see someone drive by in a Prius, just come right up behind them in your 19-year-old Ford Contour, put on your smuggest expression, and pass them in a big cloud of smoke. After all, you’ve earned it.

No pandas were harmed in the writing of this column.

We do have standards, you know.

“You could also buy a Marysville, Ohiobuilt Honda Civic or Accord from the same era and get more or less the same experience.”

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chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

1

COVER STORY

Trading for Green Spaces Remodeling? There are lots of environment-friendly options

By Janis Hashe With additional interviews by Steve O’Neil

“

Staying put and going green is likely your best option if you’re concerned about the environment and your role in it.”

Y

ou’re a homeowner who either needs to build a new house or make some major changes to the one you have. Then consider this statement from a recent presentation to the Remodelers’ Council by local nonproft green|spaces: “It takes 20 to 30 years for the emissions from building operations to outpace the embodied energy and emissions from the building and construction of a building.”

In other words, staying put and going green is likely your best option if you’re concerned about the environment and your role in it. Luckily, there are many more options out there for the potential “green remodeler” and many of them more than pay for themselves in the long run. Remember “reduce, re-use and recycle”?

Turns out that in the remodeling world, that mantra has increasing influence.

According to local builder Ethan Collier of Collier Construction, which specializes in environmentally sound construction, “We are building homes entirely differently than we did 20 years ago. We can create the same sort of home that now that uses about half as much energy as it used to.”

Changes in home building/remodeling materials can mean a great deal not only for energy savings, but also can lead to better health, less waste and, ultimately, a healthier planet.

Paints with low VOCs (volatile organic compounds) are now commonplace; wood harvested in an environmentally sound manner can be sourced eas-

8 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

ily. Hint: look for the FSC label on wood packaging. This is wood that is independently certified by the Forest Stewardship Council, which—importantly—tracks the chain of custody of any wood products carrying the label.

You can even re-build your home entirely from recycled asphalt roof shingles and other urban-industrial wastes using RamRock CompressionFormed Masonry, a local green building startup and semifinalist in Silicon Valley’s 2014 Cleantech Open, saving thousands of tons of waste from local area landfills.

Making the whole house green Tim Swafford, owner of Swafford Construction, named “Remodeler of the Year” multiple times by the Home Builders Association, highly recommends that homeowners request the free energy evaluation provided by EPB. “From doors and windows to insulation and heating/ventilation, they will recommend the best ways to become energy efficient before you make your remodeling decisions,” he says. He notes, “We look at the whole

‘envelope’ of the house; what will benefit the homeowner the most in the long term in energy savings.”

Green above Swafford also points to tile and metal roofs as a major way to become more environmentally friendly, a view soundly reinforced by Randy Troope, Jr. of RT Construction, LLC, a company specializing in new roofs.

“Right now, only a small percentage of our clients are asking about green roofs, but it’s growing,” Troope says.

“These type of roofs are a higher-end product, but their longevity—about 40 to 50 years— is far higher than a typical asphalt shingle roof,” he says. And not only do these type of roofs result in savings over a period of time, but they are energy-savers as well, he says.

“They reflect heat in the summer and help contain it in winter. There are also tax credits that may be available for installing these types of roofs.”

Remodeling clients are often surprised to learn that both tile and metal roofs can be adapted to match virtually any style of home—and the range

Green Remodeling Resources

of products is constantly changing.

“Even if the product is brand-new to the market, we can accommodate it,” Troope says.

Walking on green Major advances have also been made in the flooring industry, says Chattanooga Flooring Center Manager Rhonda Gay. Like Randy Troope, she says only a small percentage of clients come in asking specifically for green products, but among younger buyers, the percentage rises.

Those looking for carpeting are often directed to Mohawk SmartStrand offerings,which are made from renewable resources and come in a huge range of styles, colors and price points, from $14 to $35 per yard. She adds that another area green shoppers should look at is carpet padding, which now includes a range of green-certified options, some made from recycled materials that need replacing far less often— lessening the burden on landfills.

Gay recommends that people looking to replace or install hardwood floors take a look at bamboo or cork flooring. “Cork is something many people don’t think of at first, but it’s renewable, does not emit gasses in the home, and is currently being farmed so that there is little impact on the environment,” she says. However, it’s worth noting that architect David Bergman, a cork fan generally, adds this information: “As the wine industry has moved from cork to plastic and metal stoppers, demand [overall] for cork has actually fallen. But, there some negative factors to look at as well. One is transportation. Cork is grown in Spain and Portugal so, like, bamboo, it has to travel quite a distance…

That distance translates to a carbon footprint. When looked at that way, a strong argument can be made that a responsibly harvested (or, better yet, salvaged) local wood is more eco than cork.”

For bath and kitchens, tile remains the go-to choice for the green

Furniture made from reclaimed Indian wood available at Southeastern Salvage

remodeler, and there are more options than ever, Gay says.

Kitchen and bath green What about those top-of-mind home remodels, kitchen and bath?

Frank Baker, owner of Stone Source, a local company that creates kitchen and bath surfaces, prefers to use to use porcelains that are sourced from local areas, keeping transportation costs and emissions down. He also uses recycled quartz on many projects. “Our clients like to make environmentally responsible choices if they’re easy to make,” says Baker.

“More products and options are coming into the market, and prices are dropping.” There is now a market for the bits and pieces of granite that Stone Source discards, he says.

“Every week, someone from a company called Takin’ for Granite picks up our unused materials and recycles them into road pavers and other useful products.”

Tim Swafford notes the increase in requests for countertops made from recycled paper and glass. And as far as bathroom fixtures, low-flow, extra-low-flow and super-low-flow toilets have been around for years now, in many cases mandated by new environmental laws governing construction. But if you think your phone is “smart,” check out the winning entry in the 2012 Bill and Melinda Gates “Reinvent the Toi-

let” contest. Created by a team from CalTech, the toilet disinfects waste (and composts it), is non-polluting, and is also of course ultra-low-flow.

Consider replacing that avocado green relic of the ’70s in your bathroom with one of these babies, or its currently available brethren.

Don’t forget green furniture “Reclaimed wood furniture is full of character and charm,” says Rena Keller, a buyer for Southeastern Salvage, which is currently featuring a whole range of reclaimed wood pieces from India.

“Reclaimed wood comes from timbers, doors, windows, and decking rescued from old buildings, houses, warehouses, barns, fences, wagons, ships, and docks left along the streets, shorelines and empty fields of India,” she explains.

“People are buying several pieces at a time. In fact, we’ve ordered 40 more containers of this furniture; it’s proving very popular and we intend to continue to carry it.

“Industrial styling is the hottest new trend in interior design,” Keller notes. “Its unpolished character offers a quality you just can’t find in new wood. Its popularity comes from its unique appearance, contribution to green building, history of the wood’s origins, and physical characteristics such as strength, stability, and durability.”

Construction/Contractors: • Ethan Collier, Collier Construction, collierbuild.net • Tim Swafford, Swafford Construction, (423) 619-4113 • Stuart Gaines, New Blue Construction, stuartgaines@ newblueconstruction.com • Kevin Osteen, Osteen Construction, rkosteen@gmail.com • RamRock Compression-Formed Masonry: ramrock.com EPB contacts for home energy evaluation: • Greg Epperson, eppersonga@epb.net • David Pierano, pieranodm@epb.net Affordable housing: • Adamson Development, adamsondev@bellsouth.net Green roof replacement: • RT Construction, LLC, rooferchattanoogatennessee.com Green floor coverings: • Chattanooga Flooring Center, chattanoogaflooringcenter.com Green kitchen and bath surfaces: • Stone Source, stonesourceinc.com More resources/complete Remodelers’ Association report: • green|spaces, greenspaceschattanooga.com Home & Remodeling Expo, Aug. 23-24, Chattanooga Convention Center, hbagc.net

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

COVER STORY

Global Snap, Crackle, Pop Efficient and renewable are the energy ways of the future

By Steve O’Neil

“

The former executive director of the Sierra Club may have put it best when he said, ‘Efficiency is the steak; renewables are the sizzle.’”

E

nergy efficiency is not sexy. You can’t really see it. You can’t point to it. But it has enormous potential to affect the planet’s growing thirst for power. According to a recent World Energy Outlook report: “By 2030, energy efficiency and behavior change will offset more CO2 than all new wind, solar and alternative energy generation combined.”

Say what?

Think about it: Since the 1970s, the country’s economy has grown 300 percent while our energy demand has only grown by about 50 percent.

How did that happen? “We have built things lighter, brighter, leaner and better over the past 40 years,” says Ray Segars, principal of Expo Energy and former executive with the Georgia Power Company. And things are still getting more efficient by leaps and 10 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

bounds.

We hear a lot about solar and wind power. Maybe it’s because renewables are front and center in a great deal of news coverage. The gains in energy efficiency, however, are truly revolutionary. The former executive director of the Sierra Club, Carl Pope, may have put it best when he said, “Efficiency is the steak; renewables are the sizzle.” The McKinsey Energy Efficiency Report estimates that $1.2

trillion dollars could be saved in the U.S. during the next 10 years through energy efficiency measures alone.

Energy efficiency involves measuring the output and quality of goods and services generated with a given set of inputs. There is a subtle difference between “conservation” and “efficiency”. These concepts are intertwined and close cousins—but distinct. Conservation is turning things off, or doing without unnecessary things or expenditures; efficiency is doing more with less. Combining the two is an order of magnitude in savings.

Approximately 30 percent of the planet’s energy is consumed in homes and commercial buildings.

(International Energy Outlook, 2013) This represents 81 quadrillion Brit-

ish Thermal Units, (1 kilowatt = 3,412.142 BTU/hr). That’s a lot of energy. Ready for a surprise? Seventy-four quadrillion BTus are wasted.

That’s right—it requires almost two BTus produced for every one BTu that is actually used. That is a lot of losses! Some of that loss is in generation and transportation of energy, but a lot of it is just wasted after it arrives in our homes and businesses.

So what to do?

Increasingly, businesses are finding that in order to stay competitive, they have to routinely assess the way they are using energy and adapt. You can hardly walk into a hotel, for example, and not find efficient light bulbs and controls throughout.

Better lights, insulation, controls, windows, high-efficiency HVAC systems, landscape design, tankless water heaters are just a few ideas that can generate impressive savings. Taken all together, these form a “game changer”, according to Segars.

“Energy efficiency is an investment that pays serious returns,” says Ben Taube of BLT Sustainability Consulting of Atlanta. “In today’s low-interest environment, an investment with a three-year payback is a simple 33 percent return on investment! It’s hard to come across those sort of returns in traditional markets.” According to Amory Lovins of the Rocky Mountain Institute, the comparative ROI “isn’t even close” between solar, wind, nuclear and energy efficiency.

And, of course as energy prices increase the return-on-investment gets even better.

System modifications can be deployed without even a capital commitment, says Ed Outlaw of Con-

sensus Energy. Through a “shared savings” program, certain efficiency retrofits can be paid for by simply sharing the savings over a defined period. “We put in the system at our cost, and agree upon a method by which the savings will be calculated.

The client enjoys new lights, better safety, less maintenance, and shows a commitment to the environment, all at no cost. Once the shared savings period is concluded, the client gets to keep 100 percent of the savings,” he explains.

The notion that energy efficiency and a reduction in nation’s CO2 will be too expensive for the country to absorb is a narrow perspective, according to Taube. “There is enormous growth potential in this sector.

As energy prices continue to rise, newer technologies will explode into the marketplace, creating jobs and delivering better, more efficient services than we ever dreamed possible.”

Wait until you see what’s coming: individual temperature and lighting controls, triggered by a transmitter from your phone or watch, smart thermostats that determine how many people are in a room at any given time, flash cooling and heating of rooms, plasma…innovation is everywhere, much of it flying under the radar. The next time you are at a stop light, look up and marvel at the Light Emitting Diodes (LED) that now exist in most major metropolitan areas, and think that just 20 years ago these lights were mostly incandescent bulbs that needed to be changed every few months and used about 80 percent more energy.

The future is bright…and cleaner…and cheaper.

“You can hardly walk into a hotel, for example, and not find efficient light bulbs and controls throughout.”

Visit us at the HBA Home and Remodeling Expo, August 23-24, Booth C15 and 16!

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423-553-7723 chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

SCREEN SCENE

The Eternal Lightness of Growing Up

Look, Up In The (Stormy) Sky! More sharks, more bad weather—now on the big screen One of the more unlikely television film successes in recent memory was SyFy’s instant cult classic “Sharknado”. When it aired, the sheer ridiculousness of the plot (and the acting, and the effects) made it a viral sensation on Twitter and social media.

Needless to say, anytime a movie is successful (for whatever reason), a sequel is well-nigh inevitable. So, naturally, SyFy immediately green-lit a sequel, the aptly-named “Sharknado 2: The Second One”.

The plot is simple: A freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a Sharknado

✴✴✴✴

on the population and its most cherished iconic sites—and only the two lead characters can save the Big Apple.

It stars a who’s-who of ’90s TV actors, including Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Kari Wuhrer, musician Mark McGrath, and for reasons known only to his agent, Judd Hirsch. And now you can see it on the Big Screen with really Big Sharks.

“Sharknado 2: The Second One” 8 p.m.

East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge carmike.com

NEW IN THEATERS

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For Nine years after the original film, some more of Sin City’s most hardboiled citizens cross paths with a few of its more reviled inhabitants.

Directors: Frank Miller | Robert Rodriguez Stars: Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt

✴✴✴✴

Are You Here Two childhood best friends embark on a road trip back to their hometown after one of them learns he has inherited a large sum of money from his recently deceased estranged father.

Director: Matthew Weiner Stars: Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, Amy Poehler, Jay Gates

12 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

“Boyhood” is stunning in its universal reveals, sheer filmmaking achievement

L

ife is a collection of small moments that rarely add up to large ones. Very few of us will have a time when we stand against the world, battered by the storm, to be counted among those who have left a mark on history. More often, a collection of small pieces of time is the only way to derive meaning in such a short existence.

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

Despite being an achievement in modern filmmaking, the film’s heart is found in the sublime elegance of the ordinary.”

From our own perspective, we have large moments that change who we are, but those come from an impression, a memory of the events that changes in significance through the passage of time. If someone watches from the outside, they will only see the inevitable or the understated segments of a life full of normal progression.

Richard Linklater’s much-lauded film “Boyhood” allows us to watch these moments for ourselves. Filmed over the course of 12 years, using the same actors, we see the characters change and grow in real time over the length of the project.

Many of the reviews so far have praised the technical achievement of the film— the scope of a planning a 12-year film shoot is a staggering thought, indeed.

But more than that, this film features a rawness of emotion and a genuine beauty that transcends a potentially gimmicky premise. The story isn’t told over 12 years just to prove that could be done; it is told over 12 years because the story requires it.

Despite being an achievement in modern filmmaking, the film’s heart is found in the sublime elegance of the ordinary.

The film opens with six-year-old Mason Evans Jr. (Ellar Coltrane) looking at the sky. He shares a room with his irritating

older sister Samantha (Lorelei Linklater), and they live in a small house with their mother. His father is somewhere in Alaska. We see flashes from his perspective: his listening in as mother argues with her boyfriend about babysitters, his delinquent tendencies as he sprays graffiti in a storm drain with an older neighbor, his quiet acceptance of the loss of a friend as the family moves to Houston when his mother seeks more opportunities through education.

These moments increase and change as Mason grows older. He moves from house to house as his mother moves from relationship to relationship, maturing and experiencing the world through the misunderstanding and heartbreak. But there is joy as well, in the visits with his father or bonding

“As with most single-parent families, the burden of parenting falls to the mother, who does the best she can.” with new step-siblings. As it is with everyone, there are beginnings and endings, some more sudden than others, but all shaping him into the person he is at the conclusion of the film.

Mason and his sister are unwilling nomads in the journey of survival that is single parenting. Their mother does her best to provide, but she keeps falling for the same types of men: the deep, but unavailable who selfmedicate to hide from some buried pain. Mason’s father is not necessarily absent, but neither is he present. He appears as the fun parent, the under-

standing dispenser of advice and emotional support that vanishes at the hint of responsibility.

There is certainly an element of disdain on the side of Mason’s mother towards his father, which is used as an excuse for distance. Mason’s father (Ethan Hawke) has the freedom to live in Alaska if he wishes. His mother Olivia (Patricia Arquette) does not. As with most single-parent families, the burden of parenting falls to the mother, who does the best she can.

The story is a common one, a fact of life for many families across the coun-

try. But the facts of Mason’s life are not his defining characteristic. Instead, he is a combination of these things, an amalgamation of Olivia and Mason Sr., of Houston and the other places he’s lived, of Samantha and all of the friends he has left behind.

One of the more striking elements of the film is how short the 12 years seem.

We watch scenes of Mason Jr. spending time with his friends, referencing the world around them, from Halo to Lady Gaga. I remember these things as being very recent, but for Mason they are eternal staples of a long and complicated childhood.

What is a flash for the observer is an eternity for the participant.

As Albert Einstein would say, “That’s relativity.”

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

MUSIC SCENE

Still Unnamed, But This EP Is Radio-Ready

Getting Kids Jazzy With It Jazzanooga Youth Music Program kicks in One key—the key—to becoming a good musician is practice, practice, practice. Most legendary musicians first picked up their instruments at young ages and spent the rest of their lives playing what they knew and practicing what they didn’t.

While music lessons and school programs are a great way to practice, they aren’t always available to aspiring musicians. Luckily, Chattanooga has organizations like Jazzanooga that celebrate jazz through a monthlong festival—and year-round programs.

One such program, created earlier this year, is for 12-to-18-year-old Hamilton County students with little or no access to the arts. Designed to “offer progressive, sequential music skill-building and personal learning opportunities” for each student, the Youth Music Academy program is a

series of classes held every Saturday for 12 weeks. And it’s free.

“One of our primary goals with this program was to make music education and its overall benefits accessible to our youth regardless of their financial means,” says Jazzanooga Director Shane Morrow.

Starting mid-September, up to 30 students will study jazz and blues music theory and choose between instrumental and vocal training programs. At the program’s end, students have the opportunity to showcase their talents individually and within an ensemble at Jazzanooga events.

For more information about the Youth Music Program and Jazzanooga or to register for classes, visit jazzanooga.org — Madeline Chambliss

thu8.21

fri8.22

sat8.23

DO THE HUSTLE

SING A SONG

ROWDY ROCKING

The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, River City Hustlers

Sandra McCracken

The Coathangers, Pagiins, Folk Killer

Two of the city’s best at what they do combine for one speical night.

9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Combining a smart, soulful blend of folk, pop and gospel that is as progressive as it is timeless.

7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com

Like it loud? Like it energetic? Like it raw and uncompromising? Then here’s what you need.

10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

14 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Scenic channels the ’90s college/alt rock music sound in the best way

A

s much as we tend to eschew labels (particularly in music), there is nothing inherently wrong with them.

They have a place and a function. The trouble arises when we attach too much significance to a label, when we limit the thing being described to too narrow a definition and when the meaning of a label or description is too ambiguous or ill-defined.

Music MARC T. MICHAEL

“

The five tracks of this EP, although unfinished as of now, are upbeat, smart and really, really catchy.”

One may get the gist of a great piece of literature by reading the Cliff Notes (are those still a thing?) but one will surely miss what it is that makes the literature great.

So labels (particularly in the context of music reviews) are like Cliff Notes. They are, at best, a starting point and anything but definitive.

Bearing these things in mind. it is with the greatest respect and admiration that having listened to Scenic’s newest EP, the as-of-yet unmastered, unreleased, Unnamed EP #2, I have boiled it down to a starting point, a label, Cliff Notes for the Chattanooga music scene. I declare this EP (which is sincerely unnamed at the moment) representative of the very best of ’90s college/alt rock. I don’t know if that is what they were shooting for, but it IS what I hear, and that is not meant as faint praise.

On the contrary, it is my belief that the socalled alt/college genre reached a high water mark in the ’90s that hasn’t been seen since.

So, we have a label. Let’s delve a little deeper into precisely what that means. In the case of Scenic and the five tunes they sent me, it means that the vocals are highly melodic, replete with harmonies and counter-melodies and the lyrics themselves are intelligent and well crafted. Dave Jackson’s guitar is bright, punchy and refined.

“Eve Apart”

Often I praise a guitarist for being raw (an admirable trait in the appropriate setting), but this should never imply that the opposite (refined, polished guitar work) isn’t equally desirable and praiseworthy. Chris Wiegand does a hell of a job doubling up the guitar with Jackson.

Marcus Alcantara’s drums are crisp, bright and kick-ass quick. Blake Porter’s keys fill in the spaces nicely with pretty lead lines and swollen chords and the bass…

Bass players of the world, I apologize. If you fail to do your job properly it wrecks a tune in no time, but when you are doing your job right, well, it’s hard to know what to say.

honest music

In the case of Scenic, the bass is perfect for the task at hand, being neither too sparse nor needlessly complicated. If the bass is the glue holding the rest of the band together. then Josh Rosa is the glue of the highest quality (but please don’t sniff him, kids).

With tracks like “I Killed Laura Palmer”, perhaps the ’90s vibe I get from the work isn’t so mysterious after all. I no longer ask bands what it is they mean to accomplish for fear that what I write will become more what I think they want me to hear than what I actually hear, so I can’t tell you precisely what the guys in the band were trying to achieve, but

I can say this: If they weren’t heavily influenced by the music they grew up with, then it’s time for me to find something else to do with my time. Also, Foo Fighters.

The five tracks of this EP, although unfinished as of now, are upbeat, smart and really, really catchy. There isn’t a single one that isn’t radio-ready for heavy rotation on any station worth listening to, and I’m very keen to hear the end product. Look for a mention of Scenic in a sidebar here when the disc is ready to drop. In the meantime, follow Scenic on Facebook or through their presence online at 423 Bragging Rights.

Correct Dates for River City Sessions Editor’s note: In our SOTA issue last week, we didn’t get the dates for some upcoming River City Sessions show quite right. Below is the correct info. So sorry to our friends at RCS! Jeremy Moore and Jess Goggins will both be appearing at The River City Sessions on Sept.

12. The show will be aired on WUTC on Sept.

28.

Dana Shavin will release her new book on Oct.10, and will be joined by Dave Anderson, guitarist of ARS and Hall of Fame guitarist Phil Weaver. That show will air on WUTC on Oct. 26. Both live shows will be at The Camp House, 1427 Williams St.

local and regional shows

Rocky Horror Picture Show Rye Baby & Bird In Hand [FREE]

Thu, Aug 21 Sun, Aug 24

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Ryan Oyer hosts Open Mic every Wednesday @ 8pm

9pm 9pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

LIVE MUSIC AUGUST

THE SCARLET LOVE CONSPIRACY THU 9p 21 AND RIVER CITY HUSTLERS

22 JIMMY TAWATER SAT 8p 23 CANEY VILLAGE WED 9p 27 CHATT UNPLUGGED THU 9p 28 FRI THE BEATERS 9p 29 RUBIK'S GROOVE SAT 10p 30 DECIBELLA

FRI 9p

with PACK OF WOLVES

with THE POWER PLAYERS

BAND

featuring LACEY HAMANN

BAD SCOUT, OKINAWA, TAB SPENCER 29th ANNIVERSARY PARTY!

VANILLA ICE TO BRITNEY SPEARS

9.5 THAT 90’S COUNTRY SHOW 9.6 GOVINDA 9.11 CRONIC MUSIC BLACKLIGHT

COMING SOON

THE FLOOZIES

SUN SEP with EXMAG and MARVEL YEARS 9p 14

THE SECRET SISTERS 9p

FRI OCT

A MUST SEE SHOW - TRUST US!

10

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Moe

thursday8.21 Live Jazz 6 p.m.

The Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 702-7300 Tim Neal & Jesse James 7:30 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, River City Hustlers 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Café 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Maid Myriad, Jordan Hallquist 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

friday8.22 Jason Thomas & the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo

16 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Cabinet 6 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org Johnnyswim, Decibella 7 p.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Paul Smith & The Sky High Band 7 p.m.

Eagles Club 6128 Airways Blvd.

(423) 326-0202 Sandra McCracken

Pulse pick: Jimmy Tawater Jimmy has been a legend in Chattanooga for many years, and shows no signs of slowing. If you’re looking for classic rock from an All-Star band, you’re in the right place.

Jimmy Tawater Band 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Soulive 8 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org Mountain Opry 8 p.m.

Walden’s Ridge Civic Center 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 899-3252 Logan Murrell 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 S. Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Jerry Fordham 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Café 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191

Decibella, Pack Of Wolves 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Moe 6 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org SoCro, Kindora 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Mad Margritt 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Woods, New Madrid, Shark Week 10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224 Sullivan Band 10 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com

saturday8.23 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m.

Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Magic & Music at the Incline Noon Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave.

ridetheincline.com Doc Shock, Acoustic Mayhem, Randy Hedgepath, Davis Mounger, Barry Snyder, Mawre & Co. Noon Wilderness Wild Fest Coolidge Park 200 River St. outdoorchattanooga.com Eric Nassau 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga River Market Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. chattanoogamarket.com AJ Ghent 4 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org Jason Thomas & The Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Randall Bramlett & Friends 6 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org Dana Russell, Appointed Quartet, Heritage Quartet 6 p.m.

East Ridge Community Center 1517 Tombras Ave. eastridgetn.org Gunpowder & Pearls,

Mark Cunningham 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Greensky Bluegrass 8 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org Jimmy Tawater Band, The Power Players 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Afflicshun 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Somethin’ Else 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 4604 Skyview Dr. (423) 892-3065 Logan Murrell 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 S. Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Gov’t Mule 10 p.m.

Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Riverfront southernbrewersfestival.org Beats Workin’ 10 p.m.

The Big Chill & Grill 103 Cherokee Blvd. thebigchillandgrill.com The Coathangers, Pagiins, Folk Killer 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Hap Henninger 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Café 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Mad Margritt 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

sunday8.24 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m.

Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Eric Nassau 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Annabelle’s Curse 2 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Rye Baby, Bird In Hand 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

monday8.25 Big Band Night 8 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton

MUSIC CALENDAR

Gov’t Mule

6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

tuesday8.26 Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

wednesday8.27 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com Open Mic with Ryan Oyer 8 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Caney Village, Hot Damn 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Mister F 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

901 Carter St Inside City Cafe 423-634-9191 Thursday, August 21: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, August 22: 9pm Jerry Fordham Saturday, August 23: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, August 26: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook daily lunCh & drink speCials!

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

Book your Birthday, anniversary or oFFiCe parties now!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

Record Reviews

REJOICE!

IT’S MONDAY (AND TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY!)

ernie paik

Embracing Electronics, Hammering Gleefully Phil Kay invites escapes, White Reaper isn’t afraid to rawk

MONDAYS: $2 PINTS

TUESDAYS: $3 MARTINIS

King of the Mountains Zoetrope (Melodic)

P

WEDNESDAYS: ½-PRICE WINE

ON GLASSES & BOTTLES

Chattanooga’s Warehouse Row East 11th & Lindsay St. (423) 779-0400 tupelohoneycafe.com

™

hil Kay, the musician behind the one-man band King of the Mountains, has a sign on his wall that reads “Is there another way?” as a sort of perpetual reminder to not go on creative autopilot.

His primarily synthetic debut solo album Zoetrope reflects this by seemingly rebooting for each track, demonstrating freedom from expectations while cramming ideas into each selection.

Kay is best known as a member of the Manchester band Working for a Nuclear Free City, and while his bandmate Gary McClure began to go down the acoustic path, Kay went into the opposite direction with an even more enthusiastic embrace of electronics. It is not the chilly, robotic approach of groups like Kraftwerk; instead, it conveys a sensitivity, often with an almost organic warm glow of a softly hued LED nightlight.

Don’t be mistaken; Zoetrope

18 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

White Reaper White Reaper (Polyvinyl) is not an entirely sedate album, and often it has the momentum of a video game soundtrack, like on the opener “Undone,” with persistent nudges and kinetic motivation.

“Surrounded” envelopes the ears with gentle pulses, adding splashes and the synthetic aural equivalent of dropping things into a frying pan, with some choice notes that bend and yield slightly, bringing to mind Kevin Shields’ diving whammy bar action in My Bloody Valentine.

A few tracks are outwardly dance-oriented, including the brief “Shinkansen,” the clickand-ring-addled, four-on-thefloor insistent beaconing of the title track and the 6/8-time number “Zebra Girls” which seems to fuse mechanic chatterings with something by the BBC Radiophonic Workshop.

The most distinctive song on Zoetrope is “Stranger Things Have Happened,” with loops of

squeaky reeds, bells and acoustic guitar motifs, while “Airstrip” invokes a touch of early ’70s Brian Eno/Robert Fripp goodness with glistening ambiance and gliding hums, plus a hi-hat beat keeping things moving instead of drifting into a fog.

One point of comparison would be Caribou, down to Kay sounding somewhat like Dan Snaith’s unobtrusive voice, with nuanced arrangements and inviting escape routes away from any hackneyed electro paths.

T

he opening track “Cool,” on the Louisville, KY group White Reaper’s self-titled debut EP, hammers away gleefully and persistently on a single chord for a good half-minute before the bass even changes a note; instead of being punishing, it’s an expression of joy and a sign of impeccable timing.

The band gets it right, on its no-fat 6-track jaunt that doesn’t

waste a second of its 16-minute running time, with jittery, dirtied-up garage rock; it doesn’t say anything new, but its delivery and aesthetic carry it with an infectious caffeine rush.

Striking a balance with garage rock recordings is difficult—being overproduced (or sounding like you’re trying too hard) is practically a sin, while some semblance of clarity above the “boombox in the basement” lowfidelity approach is needed to do justice to good performances.

Here, the correct approach is used, with the band channeling its live energy with the right amount of distortion, rawness and articulation with regards to sound separation.

White Reaper generally doesn’t mess with the powerpunk-pop formula, although a few surprises are welcome, like the slightly goofy yet endearing keyboard solo in “Half Bad” that appears out of nowhere, much earlier than one might expect in a typical pop song structure.

Vocalist/guitarist Tony Esposito sings with a bratty brashness that isn’t overwrought, and among his rhythm guitar chords are a few wailing moments, as if to express that he isn’t afraid to rawk. Bassist Sam Wilkerson follows the chugfest party line with a few melodic diversions, and Sam’s brother Nick on drums is the requisite powerhouse with characteristic piercing crash cymbal hits and downward tom runs.

The EP plows through concise stompers, like “She Wants To,” and adrenaline-fueled, needlesin-the-red numbers like “Conspirator”; if you need a pithy description, White Reaper might be what it sounds like if the members of The Strokes stuck their fingers into electrical outlets.

For when you need help.

The Law Office of Chris Dixon Specializing in Criminal Defense, Personal Injury & Estates 707 Georgia Avenue, Suite 402 The FlatIron Building Chattanooga, TN 37402

Phone: (423) 648-7527 Mobile: (423) 800-3510 Fax: (423) 648-7537

cdixonattorney@gmail.com

Kitchen at Union Square supports Culinard, the Culinary Institute of Virginia College School of Business and Health in Chattanooga, where our staff of professional chefs provide a learning lab and teaching establishment for culinary and pastry arts students from the Culinard.

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

An Evening of HomeCooked Flavor-Tripping “Miracle berries” are fun adult food experiment

“

Miracle berries are a fun alternative to sugar and an entertaining antidote to tired, boring dinner parties.”

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

I sat across from my dinner entertainment or enlightenguests, hand outstretched ment, a flavor-tripping party and palm up, offering each is meant to briefly alter your of them a small red tablet. palate with an extract of the “Let it dissolve on your Synsepalum dulcificum plant tongue before we begin,” I (otherwise known as “mirainstructed. cle berries”).

They each The surhad a look face of your of curious tongue is anticipation covered with tinged with receptors a hint of that detect MIKE McJUNKIN nervousness tastes from as they carefully rested the sweet to umami, from bittablets on their tongues in ter to sour. The miracle one smooth, communionberry has a glycoprotein that like motion. sounds like a bad sci-fi charA few weeks ago, I gathacter: miraculin. ered a small group of culiWhen the berry is connary adventurers together sumed, miraculin latches for a bizarre and mind-blowonto your sour and bitter ing experience called “flareceptor, preventing you vor-tripping.” Rather than from tasting sour and bitthe ’60s-’70s-era parties that ter foods. So when you eat a sought to alter your mind for lemon, for example, it tastes

Sushi & Biscuits

Love at first sight 20 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

as sweet as lemonade. It may be a stretch to call that a miracle, but it is certainly has some interesting applications.

In the late ’70s, Donald Rumsfeld was the CEO of a company called GD Searle that was pushing aspartame through the FDA. At the same time, a company called Miralin was making a splash by using miracle berries as a way to eliminate sugar without nasty chemicals or potentially dangerous man-made substances.

Searle’s strong ties to the FDA allowed them to influence the appointment of an FDA commissioner that was sympathetic to their need to push aspartame through and get it approved. Just as Miralin was about to be launched (and “coincidentally” just as aspartame was being approved), Miralin’s miraculin-based product was denied approval and

labeled a “food additive,” which meant years of testing that eventually led the company into bankruptcy.

The denial was not based on any scientific evidence of danger but rather on an odd concern that, after eating miraculin, children would begin to crave inorganic acids like battery acid.

It’s worth noting that Searle’s FDA commissioner buddy was around just long enough to label miracle berries as a food additive, push aspartame through regulation and get himself accused of taking corporate bribes…allegedly.

In the absence of any plausible commercial application due to that FDA ruling, miracle berries have since acquired a bit of a cult following and even spawned a trend with fine-dining restaurants in the early 2000s where diners would eat a berry and enjoy a “flavor-

tripping” experience.

Now, the berries and tablets made from powdered berries can easily be found online for about $1.50 a tablet or $3 for a fresh berry, so experiencing the miracle of miraculin is as easy as ordering a banana slicer or Guy Fieri signature donkey sauce extractor.

As my dinner guests’ tablets dissolved, they began to try some of the foods I’d set out for this tasting experience. We found that miraculin’s effect is most noticeable with citrus and acidic foods. Lemons and grapefruit became sweet, intense and the rind tasted like candy.

My personal favorite was the saltand-vinegar potato chips. With the effects of miraculin, the chips became sweet and vinegar-y, but without the typical vinegar tartness. The taste was closer to aged balsamic-flavored chips, which was fantastic!

The effects are minimal or nonexistent with foods such as bread, lunchmeat, tea, jelly, chili peppers, nuts and cheese. However, eating these foods while under the effects of a miracle berry exaggerated the food’s texture, for better or worse. A slice of beautiful mortadella, when stripped of its saltiness, became a gelatinous meat disc

that quickly dissolved into flavorless goo in my mouth. I don’t recommend it. Some of the more notable pairings were: • Guinness Extra Stout: Chocolatey and sweet, like a dark chocolate milkshake • Vodka: Indistinguishable from rubbing alcohol. It’s disgusting.

Don’t do it • Blue Cheese: Tasted like bland blue cheese. Not much difference • Tabasco Sauce: Tasted like spicy sweet roll glaze. This was one of the stranger flavors • Pickles: These became the best bread and butter pickles ever • Sour Patch Kids Candy: Cloyingly sweet with no sourness Whether you want to lose weight, find a healthy sugar substitute or just want to season your culinary adventures with a dash of the bizarre, miracle berries are a fun alternative to sugar and an entertaining antidote to tired, boring dinner parties.

Pick the red tablet and jump headfirst down the culinary rabbit hole, but whatever you do don’t mix miraculin and vodka.

Trust me, it’s really disgusting.

Health Department Inspected & Certified Custom Work Available Conveniently Located Near College Campus Voted Best Tattoo Shop for 4 Years!

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

ARTS SCENE

Even More Reasons to Save The Date

The Fabric of Their Lives Garuda Screenprinting now making custom-printed fabrics Our friends at Garuda Screenprinting, already known for fine-quality screen prints, have now added screen-printed fabric to their art offerings. In their new location at 2801 Dodds Ave., you’ll now find custom printed polyester and linen fabrics.

Two young Chattanooga designers/entrepreneurs helped motivate Garuda to get into the fabric business: Anna Mittelstadt of Victoria Design and Kathryn Allison of Rangemark Textiles. Last February, within two days of each other, both

contacted Garuda about custom printing fabrics for their lines.

Garuda continues to offer highquality custom screenprinting services for T-shirts, hoodies, tank tops, posters, stickers, and more. They’ll be participating in AVA’s upcoming Gallery Hop Sept. 6, and on display will be their original art prints as well as new original fabric patterns (also a fun Print-Your-Own shirt opportunity). Check them out at garudascreenprinting.com — Staff

fri8.22

SAT8.23

Sun8.24

MUSIC & BEER

ROLLER MADNESS

MATINEE MUST SEE

Southern Brewers Festival

Chattanooga Roller Girls vs. Mississippi Rollergirls

“Keely & Du”

A downtown institution for the past two decades, the annual marriage of brews and bands raises money for Chattanooga’s Kids on the Block and Chattanooga Community Kitchen, two very worthwhile local organizations.

5 p.m.

Ross’s Landing 100 Riverfront Pkwy (423) 265-0771 southernbrewersfestival.org

It’s the last home bout of the season, as the Chattanooga Rollergirls look to stay undefeated at home this year. Get there early and grab one of the “suicide seats” to get close to the action without being a team member.

7 p.m.

Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 chattanoogarollergirls.com

A tense drama exploring the unlikely bond that forms between two women whose fundamental differences on abortion both bring them together and drive them apart. If you haven’t seen this yet, here’s a perfect chance.

2:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theater 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

22 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

The arts calendar revs up in late August and September…

T

here’s so much going on in the local arts community that even our big State of the Arts issue last week couldn’t get it all in, so here’s another helping of events and info arts-lovers’ inquiring minds will want to know…

Arts JANIS HASHE

“

The Shaking Ray Levi Society will present the final event of the Dilating Nexus series, ‘Soul in a Box’ on Aug. 30.”

Stop by Area 61 on Main Street on Friday, Aug. 29 and Friday, Sept. 26 between 5 and 8 p.m. for the alwaysfun “Last Fridays Southside Stroll”…

These will be the last two Strolls of the year, so get yer walkin’ shoes on…Area 61 will feature Tennessee-based figurative expression artist W. Michael Bush during the annual AVA Gallery Hop on Sept. 6…Bush will also do an onsite painting demonstration during the Ironman competition during the last weekend in September…Coming in October, Area 61 will host a Private Collection Southeastern Folk Art Sale…Check their Facebook page for details…

Also in October, all Chattanooga art galleries and artist studios have been invited to participate in First Friday Chattanooga-The Arts, posting their events and exhibits…Check facebook. com/FirstFridayChattanoogaArts for details Artists, gallery owners and arts-focused retail businesses are also working together in FLAG (Friends of Local Artists and Galleries) to “advance art as a sustainable business”…If you’re interested, check out FLAG at flagcommunity.org and look for more coverage of the organization in an upcoming Pulse…

September is a super-busy month for our friends at Townsend Atelier…

“Eve Apart” If you’ve ever thought of advancing your own art skills, this is the perfect time…Take at look at these options: “Oil Painting Techniques of the Old Masters” with James Courtenay James starting Sept. 9…”Beginning Watercolor” with Durinda Cheek starting Sept.

8 and “Intermediate/Advanced Watercolor” with Cheek starting Sept. 9…

Cheek will also teach “Impressionist Landscape Painting” beginning Sept.

9…Laura Hausler will teach “Beginning Classical Drawing” starting Sept.

13…James will teach “Basic Perspective Drawing” on Sept. 20 and “Pen & Ink Drawing” on Sept. 21…Then on Sept. 27, Cindy Procious teaches “Tips & Tricks: Photoshop for the Fine Art-

“One of the performing arts events of the year will undoubtedly be Tim Hinck’s “Eve Apart” coming into the CTC’s Circle Theatre Sep. 4-7.” ist”…Visit townsendatelier.com…

The talented and innovative Blake Harris of Theater for the New South has left Chattanooga to study at CalArts in Southern California and we wish him the best…We know this great young company will continue to produce some of the freshest theatre in town…

Speaking of fresh, it’s worth repeating that one of the performing arts events of the year will undoubtedly be

We’re never too cool for school...

But you can be. We can help.

Tim Hinck’s “Eve Apart” coming into the CTC’s Circle Theatre Sept. 4-7…

Tim describes this new piece as “opera, or maybe alt-musical theatre”…

Whichever, it’s bound to be groundbreaking…

And in tribute to one of Chattanooga’s most groundbreaking artists, the late Dennis Palmer, the Shaking Ray Levi Society will present the final event of the Dilating Nexus series, “Soul in a Box”, at Mark Mak-

ing, 2510 North Chamberlain Ave., on Aug. 30, featuring new creations using Palmer’s unreleased samples as source material by numerous contributors, including the absolutely fabulous Frank Pahl…

It’s not at all too early to book your tickets for the kick-off event in this year’s Patten Performances Series at UTC, the one, the only, the master, Ramsey Lewis, coming up on Sept.

9…

And it may be August, but it’s the holidays in our hearts as we save the date for MAINX24 on Dec. 6 this year…Can’t come around too soon for us…Look at prelim plans on facebook. com/mainx24

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

ARTS CALENDAR

“Robin Hood” (1922)

thursday8.21

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com ...and make plans this weekend!

F eaturing the Old Time Travelers!

Another great reason to get a Rock City Annual Pass. For less than the cost of two single admissions, you can come back again and again... for FREE!

Classic Movie Night: “Robin Hood” (1922) 2, 7 p.m.

Heritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Wine & Art: A Tasting Party with United Way Emerging Leaders 5 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org East Tennessee Alliance for Animals Benefit 5:30 p.m.

212 Market Restaurant 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212 212market.com Photographic Society of Chattanooga: Dianne Blankenbaker 7 p.m.

St. John United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Rd. (423) 892-2257 stjohnumc.org LAUNCH Pitch Night 7 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081

24 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

thecamphouse.com River Gorge Sunset Paddle 7 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Jon Reep: “The Hemi Guy” 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Keely & Du” 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theater 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “Sharknado 2: The Second One” 8 p.m.

East Ridge 18

Pulse pick: Jon Reep Jon won Season 5 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, and is the host of Speed’s “R U Faster Than a Redneck?” as well as being known for his Dodge commercials.

Jon Reep This weekend The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. thecomedycatch.com

5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge carmike.com

friday8.22 Southern Brewers Festival 5 p.m.

Ross’s Landing 100 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 265-0771 southernbrewersfestival.org Closed Door Entertainment Dinner Theatre 7 p.m.

Abba’s House 5208 Hixson Pike (423) 877-6462 cbch.org Jon Reep: “The Hemi Guy” 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233

thecomedycatch.com “Keely & Du” 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theater 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “The Savannah Disputation” 7:30 p.m.

Ripple Theatre 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 600-9242 rippletheatre.com

saturday8.23 Photographic Society of Chattanooga: Darrell Gulin 9 a.m.

St. John United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Rd. (423) 894-5210 stjohnumc.org Home Show 10 a.m.

Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Brainerd Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 Northside Farmers’ Market on Mississippi 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian 953 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market Tennessee Aquarium Plaza

1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com St. Alban’s Hixson Farmers Market 10 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 Annual Poker Run: Serenity in the Scenic City 2014 10:45 a.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 364-8128 serenityinthesceniccity.com Rockabilly Rock Out & Cruise In Noon Thunder Creek Harley-Davidson 7720 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-4888 thundercreekharley.com Wilderness Wildfest Noon Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (660) 247-2288 outdoorchattanooga.com Artful Yoga 1:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Strike For Education” Retro Bowl 2 p.m.

Holiday Bowl Brainerd 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695 holidaybowlbrainerd.com Southern Brewers Festival 3 p.m.

Ross’s Landing 100 Riverfront Pkwy (423) 265-0771 southernbrewersfestival.org Closed Door Entertainment Dinner Theatre 7 p.m.

Abba’s House 5208 Hixson Pike (423) 877-6462 cbch.org Chattanooga Roller Girls vs. Mississippi Rollergirls 7 p.m.

Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 chattanoogarollergirls.com Miss Annie Awards 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Center 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Mighty Wurlitzer Organ’s 90th Birthday Concert & Movie 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com Jon Reep: “The Hemi Guy” 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Keely & Du” 7:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theater 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatre-

ofchattanooga.com “The Savannah Disputation” 7:30 p.m Ripple Theatre 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 600-9242 rippletheatre.com

sunday8.24 The Chattanooga Market 11 a.m.

1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Home Show 11 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 “Keely & Du” 2:30 p.m.

Ensemble Theater 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “The Savannah Disputation” 3:30 p.m.

Ripple Theatre 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 600-9242 rippletheatre.com

monday8.25 Fee Free Founders Day 8:30 a.m.

Point Park Point Park Rd., Lookout Mountain (423) 821-7786

ARTS CALENDAR

Chattanooga Roller Girls

tuesday8.26 Code & Creativity 7 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Iphoneography with Laura + Ken 6 p.m.

Society of Work 701 Market St., Ste. 1350 societyofwork.com Comedy Buffet with Duncan Trussell 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth”

World Reviewer

RubyFalls.com 423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com

wednesday8.27 Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Wednesday Market 4 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com

Open Daily!

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RubyFallsZip.com

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

Mixology

Take the brewery everywhere.

Zach Nicholson

Squeeze ’Em or Leave ’Em Why is there fruit in my beer? We find out...

Red Hare is the first micro-brewery in Georgia to can its craft beer. We know it’s the best way to preserve the finest ingredients that we put into all our brews.

Exceptional flavor profiles. Rich aromas.

Complex, yet balanced taste in every can.

Enjoy, wherever you are.

Certified Recycled Aluminum

Red Hare now in stores #chasetherabbit

Please drink responsibly.

26 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Please recycle.

Go order a Corona. Between you and that beer is the ever-present, neverrequested wedge of lime. A limeless Corona is the unicorn nobody is looking for. That tiny slice of green has been Corona’s partner for almost three decades—but why is Corona-with-lime an industry standard?

Parent company Anheuser-Busch has yet to answer that question, but beerlovers have formed a few theories. One rumor claims a bartender bet his friend he could start a national trend by himself. Other people like to attribute it to gimmicks and marketing. More practically, Coronas are bottled in clear glass as opposed to the darker shades of brown, which filter ultraviolet light and prevent beer spoilage. Some people suggest the clear-bottled Corona pairs with limes to mask the skunk.

The second most popular fruit-andbeer combo is the slice of orange in a pint of Blue Moon. While not as longlived as the Corona and lime, Blue Moon and its oranges tend to incite more controversy among beer enthusiasts. The controversy exists because Blue Moon markets itself as a craft beer, but its parent company is Molson Coors. One side of the argument says

that Blue Moon is taking sales and profit from the smaller craft-brewing companies, while the other side says that Blue Moon is introducing people who drink Miller and Coors to the world of craft beer. Those arguing against Blue Moon tend to say the orange is added as a marketing gimmick. Others say it brings out the hints of orange and coriander. Keith Villa, founder of the Blue Moon Brewery, gives both sides credit in an interview with Australian Brews News. Villa says the orange’s primary purpose is functional. The addition of the orange slice “allows the orange and fruity aromas of the beer to be magnified.” He allows that the secondary, though unintentional purpose of the orange, serves as a “visual indicator of Blue Moon” which “really makes our beer stick out.”

I asked Steve Purdie, head brewer at The Terminal Brewhouse, about what he thought of the fruit-in-beer trend. “I put a lot of work into crafting the beers the way I want them to be enjoyed,” he says. Purdie, a beer purist, says adding fruit to a good beer isn’t necessary, but acknowledges that if limes and oranges make people happy, then limes and oranges it is.

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.” — Swedish Proverb Whether it’s a child in the throes of the “terrible twos,” or a full-grown adult throwing a hissy fit…being unnecessarily difficult is often just a way of saying, “I need help, I’m afraid, I want you to see past the thorns and come closer. Don’t fall for my pushing-you-away tactics—I just don’t know what else to do right now.”

Once you realize this, you can see through the unpleasant smokescreen and focus on the vulnerable person inside who needs you. Perhaps he just needs you to be there, to listen non-judgmentally, to accept that he has warts, just like you do.

Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” We all have an inner “terrible two.” And there are times when we all want to be loved, but don’t know how to ask for it. A little kindness goes a long way, doesn’t it? chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

“

Homework: What idea, feeling, or attitude are you enslaved to?

What can you do to escape your slavery? Write Truthrooster@ gmail.com

Rob Brezsny is an American astrologer, writer, poet, and musician. His weekly horoscope column Free Will Astrology has been published for more than 28 years.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The artist Amedeo Modigliani lived in Paris from 1906 until his death in 1920. For most of that time, he was destitute. Proprietors of local stores and restaurants sometimes accepted his art work as payment in lieu of actual money.

They didn’t necessarily appreciate it, though. One food seller used Modigliani’s drawings as wraps for the fried potatoes he sold. Another stashed the artist’s paintings in his cellar, where they turned into feasts for rodents. Too bad for these shortsighted people and their heirs: The worth of Modigliani’s works eventually increased, and some sold for millions of dollars. In the weeks ahead, Leo, don’t be like those food sellers. Know the value of what you have, even if it’s still latent.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’ve got three new vocabulary words for you. I need them to provide you with the proper oracle. First is the German term Schwellenangst. It refers to timidity or nervousness about crossing a threshold and heading into unknown territory. The second word is a new English term, “strikhedonia.” It means the joy that rises up when you feel the courage to say “to hell with it.”

The third word is from Portuguese: desenrascanço. It means the spontaneous improvisation of haphazard but ultimately effective plans. Now let’s put them all together: To conquer your Schwellenangst, you must summon a bolt of strikhedonia and have faith in your ability to carry out desenrascanço. (Thanks to otherwordly.tumblr.com for the new words.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Desire can conquer fear. Love trumps cowardice. The power that your tenderness affords you may not completely dissolve your doubt and worry, but it will quiet them down so much that they will lose their ability to paralyze you.

These truths are always good to keep in mind, of course, but they are especially useful to you right now. No obstacle will faze you, no shadow will intimidate you, as long as you feed your holy long-

28 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

ing and unshakable compassion.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): On August 2, 1830, Louis Antoine, Duke of Angoulême, was King of France for 20 minutes. (It’s a long story.) I offer this to you as a cautionary tale. A few weeks from now, I don’t want to have to be comparing you to him. If you hope to hold your new position or continue to wield your added clout for longer than just a little while, you should take all necessary steps. How? Nurture the web of support that will sustain you, for example. Don’t burn a single bridge. Cultivate real empathy, not just the showy kind.

Avoid manipulative behavior, even if you think you can get away with it. Be a skillful gatherer of information.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Golda Meir was Prime Minister of Israel from 1969 to 1974.

Her admirers described her as “strong-willed, straight-talking, grey-bunned grandmother of the Jewish people.” She had a good sense of humor, too. “Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses,” she said. “He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil.” I bring this up as a teaching story for you, Sagittarius. If you plan to make any big moves, transitions, or journeys in the coming months, I suggest you choose destinations that will allow you to gain access to wealthbuilding resources.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Do you know what phase of your cycle it is? Here are a few hints.

It doesn’t come around often. It’s not characterized by predictable events or boring certainties. And it may allow you, even encourage you, to take a break from being your usual self. Give up? OK. I’ll tell you. You have entered the Nicolas Cage Phase of your cycle. Cage is a Capricorn, but not a typical one. He’s eccentric and manic and certifiably batty.

He refers to his acting technique as “Nouveau Shamanic,” once lived in a fake castle, and owns a Lamborghini that belonged to the legendary tyrant, the Shah of

Iran. For our current purposes, he has also testified, “I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s one of my goals in life, Aquarius: to show you a type of astrology that does not infringe on your free will, but rather clarifies your options. In this horoscope, for instance, I will outline your alternatives so that you will be fully informed as you determine what course of action will be most closely aligned with your high ideals. Ponder the following question, and then briskly exert your freedom of choice: Would you prefer to have love make your head spin, knock you off your feet, tickle your X-factor, kick you gently but firmly in the ass, or all of the above?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls, and coal into diamonds by using time and pressure,” says pastor Rick Warren. “He is working on you, too.” Let’s make that idea your meditation, Pisces. If the word “God” doesn’t suit you, substitute “life,” “nature” or “Wakan Tanka,” the Lakotan term for “The Great Mystery.” The essential point is that you are being worked on and shaped by forces beyond your conscious awareness. Some of them are vast and impersonal, like your culture, the media, and the entertainment industry. Others are intimate and close at hand, like your genes, your childhood imprints, and the characters you encounter daily.

Now is an excellent time to contemplate all the influences that make you who you are.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): An American named Kevin Shelley accomplished a feat worthy of inclusion in the Guinness Book of World Records. While wearing a blue satin martial arts outfit, he smashed 46 wooden toilet seats over his head in just one minute.

Some observers may be inclined to dismiss his efforts as frivolous and ridiculous. But I admire how

he playfully mocked his own competitiveness while fully expressing his competitiveness.

He satirized his ego’s drive to be first and best even as achieved the goal of being first and best.

I recommend you try something similar. You’re entering a phase when you’ll be wise to add a bit of humility to your bold self-presentation.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You are about to make the transition from plodding to skipping; from moping to exulting. You will no longer be bogged down by cloudy doubt, but will instead be buoyed by giddy hope. To what do we owe this imminent turnaround in your fortunes?

One reason is that it’s Justifiable Narcissism Week—for Tauruses only. During this jubilee, the Free Will Astrology Council on Extreme Self-Esteem authorizes you to engage in unabashed selfworship—and to corral a host of other people who want to join in celebrating you, praising you, and helping you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): An eagle does not catch flies.

A lion won’t hunt for mice. A gourmet chef shuns recipes that call for canned soup and potato chips. And I trust that you won’t indulge a hankering for non-nutritious sweets and treats that would spoil your appetite for more robust sustenance. You understand I’m not just talking about your literal eating habits, right? Interpret this oracle metaphorically, please.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now is an excellent time to phase out fantasies that bog you down or drag you backward. Are you up for that challenge? Can you summon the courage to leave the mediocre past behind? If so, here are your assignments: Wean yourself of longings to reconstruct bygone pleasures. Forget about trying to be like the person you used to be and to have the keys you used to have. Stop feeding the feelings that keep you affixed to obsolete goals. Break any taboo that makes you scared to change what needs to be changed.

Jonesin’ Crossword

is looking for a few good

matt jones

writers

Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or profile—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers.

We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills.

If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse.

Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to: creative@chattanoogapulse.com

Thu, Aug. 28 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee

HELP WANTED ACROSS 1 “Cast Away” carrier 5 Is willing to 10 Cyberbidder’s site 14 Scat legend Fitzgerald 15 Film score composer Morricone 16 “The Joy of Cooking” author Rombauer 17 Packing the wrong clothes for the shore?

19 Comic-Con attendee, probably 20 Participate in charades 21 Kyle’s little brother on “South Park” 22 Coop matriarchs 23 Valentine offering 25 Cracker with seven holes 27 Dance music with slow shifting bass sounds 31 Artists using acid 34 Word following who, what, when or how 35 Beatnik’s bro

37 Pen name?

38 Give a hint to 40 “___ have something stuck in my teeth?”

41 Prefix with trafficking 43 CTRL-___-DEL 44 Throws out 47 Social finesse 48 Early rock nickname, with “The” 50 The O in “Jackie O” 52 Sty reply 53 Alumnus 54 Like cotton candy 56 Fish in Japanese cuisine 58 Imposed limits on 63 Gymnastics legend Korbut 64 Part of the neighborhood where all the downers live?

66 “James and the Giant Peach” author Roald 67 Half a Danny Elfman band 68 Second word in fairy tales 69 Chip that starts a pot

70 Element from the Greek word for “strange” 71 “Jeopardy!” owner DOWN 1 Country’s McEntire 2 “30 Rock” star Baldwin 3 Half step lower, in music 4 Stuffed shell food 5 Like platypuses 6 Palindromic experimentalist 7 Get the knots out 8 Enjoy a scoop 9 Shannen of “90210” 10 Half of half of half 11 Undergarments that allow for air flow?

12 “Agreed!”

13 Runs off at the mouth 18 Johnny Cash cover of a Nine Inch Nails song 24 “Boston Legal” actor 26 Double-clicked symbol 27 “Unleaded” beverage 28 Dangly lobe

in the throat 29 Report from a slow vegetablepurchasing day?

30 ___ Lanka 31 Tabloid worker 32 Christina of “Black Snake Moan” 33 Glasgow residents 36 Dwarf with glasses 39 Vegas night sight 42 E-mail address symbols 45 Diner player 46 Eat, as pretzels 49 Series ender 51 Very little, as of ointment 53 Oldest man in space John 54 Club or cream follower 55 Stratagem 57 Mario of the NBA 59 Favorable factor 60 The cops, in slang 61 MBA’s course 62 Fashion initials 65 Earlier than now

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0689

Gestamp Chattanooga has an immediate opening for a Quality Engineer in Chattanooga, TN, to support & implement mfg quality sys for an assigned customer, supplier, or product line. BS Indust.

Engnr, Mech. Engnr Tech. or rel., & 2 yrs exp. in the pos. above, as Qual Mgr, Die Engnr or rel.; Will accept equiv. foreign degree, will also accept Associates degree & 4 yrs re. exp. Will also accept equiv. combo on rel. ed., training, &/or exp. Exp. must incl.: APQP, PPAP, & ISO/TS for hot & cold stamping tooling QC/QA; GD&T & SPC in team-based mfg environment; & Journeyman die maker w/ knowledge of both U.S. & Euro OEM mfg stds & practices. Send resume to T. Cates, HR Mgr, Gestamp Chattanooga, 3063 Hickory Valley Rd. Chattanooga, TN 37241

Beer Tasting Series

Fri, Aug. 29 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee

Harry Potter Night • Fireworks!

Sat, Aug. 30 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee

Zooperstars! • Strike Out Stroke

Sun, Aug. 31 • 6:15 PM vs. Tennessee

Fan Appreciation Night

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

One Cop’s View of Ferguson, Missouri Officer Alex asks that people wait for the facts

“

The lesson here will hopefully be for an opposing side to disagree but let civilized action replace the much-vaunted ‘anarchy’ espoused by activists.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

Editor’s note: Alex Teach’s column represents his personal views and does not reflect the views of The Pulse.

You can believe you are right. You can believe that your ALEX first hearing of a tragic story is absolutely, completely accurate with zero margin for error and just run with it, with a stick in your hand to assist in making your point by shattering windows and stealing appliances to express your indignation. I’m all about that, because this is America, and if you can’t do what you want when you’re not happy, I don’t want to live here either.

But…

No matter how tragic the incident, when the leader of the New Black Panther Party is walking through your neighborhood with a bullhorn encouraging people to leave for their own safety, you TEACH may not be on the side of the “righteous.”

I’m not casting aspersions against Mr. Malik Shabazz, but, historically speaking, if you’re trying to conduct a respectable race riot, this is a guy you want on your side— not on the side of common sense and rational thinking.

“C’mon, you all, let’s roll out, let’s roll out of here, get some rest and come back tomorrow,” Shabazz pled with determined protestors a few

On The Beat

HELP WANTED ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Scheduling travel and expense reporting. Coordination of offsite meetings, i.e. booking rooms, developing agendas.

Send your cover letter and salary expectations to: eank6248@gmail.com 30 • The Pulse • August 21-27, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

days ago in Ferguson, MO. And if the New Black Panthers don’t have your back… well. Regroup and re-think.

That’s a novel thought, isn’t it? How did this shooting happen? First version: As I understand it, a 10-yearold boy was on his way to church to deliver chemo bottles to ailing baby seals when he was shot in the back for no reason and the neighborhood was perforated by bullets molded from pure liquid metal racism justifying the theft of storefront electronics.

Strangely, that story has shifted, so that just a few days later, when actual video and audio surfaced from actual eyewitnesses, it turned out the 10 year old was actually 6’4”, 292 lbs., and had charged the cop who apparently realized the guy in the street with the cigars in his hand matched the description put out on the police

radio of a strong-armed robbery suspect who just stole cigars (with his hands) after he passed him walking in the middle of the roadway (cursing the officer for asking him to not do such).

Witnesses and statements indicate the young man knocked the cop back into his car and grabbed his gun, thwarted by the safety holster, so he could run away again just far enough for the cop to get up and challenge him to stop. According to one of these video/ audio witnesses, this young man then charged the officer he just wrestled over a gun “like a bull”. Shots were fired by the officer rather than engaging in wrestling for the pistol again—the bullets stopping once the threat was down. Very different story from objective witnesses now…funny how that works.

Am I happy this occurred?

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1804 Chestnut Street God, no. Was the cop right? I honestly can’t say. Was the little 6’4”, 292 lb. boy right? Sure fails the smell test, but those questions are now irrelevant in the face of the New Black Panthers having to tell people to control themselves so the National Guard doesn’t need to called out.

Is tear gas offensive? Yes, by design. Rubber bullets? Absolutely.

Dogs, shields, camo and armor? Yes to all—but does anyone know what a Molotov cocktail is? Having a quart of gas thrown at you in a flaming glass container and firing a few shots off at a cop can make all those things listed above appear quite quickly, and despite such an obvious response, people are simply baffled police don’t want to be engulfed in flame. The state police captain that made headlines by marching with the protestors? He’s back to tossing smoke for just that reason.

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Racist? Fails the smell test. Dealing with looters and armed rioters? Hello, Febreze. Smelling much nicer now.

The lesson here will hopefully be for an opposing side to disagree but let civilized action replace the much-vaunted “anarchy” espoused by activists. There’s no asshole with a white mask and a pencil-thin goatee romantically distributing roses and polite bombs here…these are lunatics robbing stores now “for justice”. There has to be order, folks. Refusing to let the system work and breaking into Walmart is not it.

All opinions aside, if Officer Darren Wilson is guilty, let the courts decide.

Flat screen TVs and incendiary devices will get you no closer to the truth.

Just ask the Black Panther Party, for God’s sake…they’re the sensible ones now.

“There has to be order, folks. Refusing to let the system work and breaking into Walmart is not it.”

chattanoogapulse.com • August 21-27, 2014 • The Pulse • 31

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