The Pulse 11.31 » July 24, 2014 by Brewer Media Group

act of treason | PERSONAL POTTERY | A FRIENDLY MURDERER

The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

JULY 31, 2014

THERE IS A FORGOTTEN CREATURE FROM LONG AGO LINGERING IN OUR RIVERS AND STREAMS. CAN WE SAVE IT BEFORE IT’S GONE FOREVER?

Open 7 Days: M-F 8am-10pm, Sat 8am-6pm, Sun 10am-6pm

FRAZIER-NORTHSHORE 345 Frazier Avenue, Suite 108 Next to Regions Bank (423) 757-2900

2 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

brewEr media group

Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 31

ontents

Happenings

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole

BEGINNINGS: Running the mud to benefit Habitat for Humanity

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Mike Dobbs • Janis Hashe • David Hedrick Matt Jones • Kelly Lockhart • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Editorial Interns Christopher Armstrong • Jake Bacon Madeline Chambliss

Features

Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown • Rick Leavell Leif Sawyer • Stacey Tyler

WHAT LURKS BELOW?

The Chattanooga Zoo fights to save a prehistoric creature

SCREEN: Richard Linklater’s 2012 film “Bernie” is worth a rental MUSIC: The Iscariots release debut album Act of Treason RECORDS: Alien Whale throws bottles, Matt Berry embraces his synth geek

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media.All rights reserved.

2014

IN GA e IM OO Puls e USL AN h M TT in T A eek CH xt W

JULY

SPIRITS: Our man on the barstool takes the fear out of tequila MIXOLOGY: Helpful advice for the fledgling wine drinker

Voices

LISTEN AND CREATE

Potter Mark Issenberg infuses clay with nature’s voice

RICH BAILEY: 3D printing is catnip for the investor angels ALEX TEACH: Officer Alex muses on lightning and refugee children

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Getting Filthy For A Good Cause Mud’s the word for Habitat for Humanity’s annual run

“

[An] obstacle course in which most of the obstacles are surrounded by or consist entirely of… mud.”

Habitat for Humanity builds houses that are cost effective and affordable for lowincome families. But the nonprofit, and its local affiliates, don’t just build houses—they provide a way for families to get back on their feet and transform their lives. Since 1986, Habitat for Humanity of Greater Chattanooga Area (HFHGCA) has grown dramatically, with 247 houses built to date, and a projected three more by the year’s end. HFHGCA works with Hamilton County families whose total income is between 3060 percent of the area’s median income. Applicants must have a stable job and good (or no) credit. “They have to be clean, financially,” said David Butler, executive director of HFH-

GCA. Houses are sold to families based on their need, ability to pay a zero percent interest mortgage, and willingness to partner with HFHGCA. Each family living in a Habitat house signs onto a 30-year mortgage, with monthly fees of $400$450, including taxes and insurance. Families partner with Habitat by taking 20 homeowner preparation MADELINE classes that CHAMBLISS cover wills, safety, budgeting and more, and by spending a minimum of 350 hours of “sweat equity.” Their hours are completed by assisting with the build of their home and their neighbors’ homes, and by participating in renovation projects for houses in Habitat neighborhoods. Once they are able to qualify for a house, families purchase a lot from the “land bank,” which, at any one time, has a minimum of 10-15 available lots in neighborhoods throughout Hamilton County. While construction for houses depends on the size of the family, lot availability, and the number of families who qualify for lots, 16-week builds are scheduled for each house once the foundation is set. But perhaps the most important factor for building a house is how much funding HFHGCA has. One of the major (and most fun) ways HFHGCA receives funding is through the Chattanooga Mud Run. What started as a fundraiser idea from a group of people who had never organized a race

Rave

4 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

has become a professionally organized 5K military-style obstacle course in which most of the obstacles are surrounded by or consist entirely of…mud. On August 16, at 8:30 a.m., things will get muddy at Greenway Farms in Hixson as participants take on the Fifth Annual Chattanooga Mud Run. Though the race is filled with obstacles, the course accommodates all skill levels. Participants may run the full 5K or choose their own distance. “Your estimated time is where you can start,” said Jason Farmer, Chattanooga Mud Run race director. Individual registration is $60 plus a $5 registration fee, and team registration (for teams of five) is $250 plus a $5 registration fee per person. “Plan on more mud. Plan on running muddy. Plan on finishing muddy,” said Farmer. Following the race, attendees are invited to the Mud Run After Party. Set up near the mud pits by the finish line, the party will have beer, food, and live music. In addition to all proceeds benefiting HHFGCA, there will also be plastic bins for runners to dinate their shoes. The collected shoes will be cleaned and donated to Haiti relief efforts. For more information, and to register, visit hhabichatt.org/ events/chattanooga-mud-run/

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

SEVENDUST

GEMINI SYNDROME & SILENT SEASON

FRIDAY• AUGUST 1 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $22 ADVANCE • $22 DAY OF

NEA Grant Helps Finish History Center Walking down the Trail of Tears water steps by the Aquarium or through one of the Civil War battlegrounds atop Lookout Mountain will tell you that Chattanooga is rich in history. “Chattanooga is a great place to work because history is already there.” said Dr. Daryl Black, executive director of the Chattanooga History Center. But Chattanooga’s history also includes stories that aren’t mentioned in classroom textbooks. These untold stories are memories of the people who made Chattanooga the city it is today. Wanting to create an exhibit that focuses on history and community memories,

the Chattanooga History Center created a campaign to build a 19,500 square-foot social history museum in the Aquarium Plaza. Helping to complete this dream is a $400,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities the center recently received. The funding will be used to finish the interactive exhibits, in which community memories start a conversation with visitors about where we’ve been, where we are now, and where we want to go. Visitors can listen to oral history soundscapes of Chattanoogans and see a 75-minute film narrated by Chattanooga native Samuel L. Jackson featuring interviews

IN THIS ISSUE

David Hedrick This week’s cover story is by David Hedrick, the Lead Ectotherm Keeper at the Chattanooga Zoo. David also serves as the Hellbender Working Group Coordinator for Southeast Partners in Amphibian and Reptile Conservation. He has worked

from Chattanoogans telling parts of the city’s history. The exhibit also contains six galleries, starting with the Trail of Tears, the inception of railroads, the Civil War, Reconstruction, the start of industrial development, the creation of TVA, the World Wars, the urban experience, the Civil Rights Movement, and Vision 2000. At the end, the exhibit challenges visitors to become engaged with their community by asking themselves what they can do to improve it. The Chattanooga History Center is scheduled to open at the beginning of 2015. — Madeline Chambliss

Tony Mraz in the zoo field for 14 years, and caught his first Hellbender about 30 years ago. David also manages social media for CaribPARC, the SEPARC Hellbender Working Group, and the International Iguana Foundation. A graduate of Ooltewah High School and Chattanooga State, he lives in the Brainerd area in an early-20th century restored bungalow with his wife and two children.

One of our newest contributors to The Pulse, Tony Mraz, is a local artist, musician, and writer. He grew up in Dalton, Georgia before moving to Chattanooga to attend high school at the Chattanooga School for the Arts and Sciences. After his

time at the Kansas City Art Institute, he lived in Kansas City, Portland, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New Orleans and Northern California. In his career as an artist he has produced thousands of paintings, drawings, prints, sculptures, murals, and works of digital art. He has written over 50 songs and is currently writing a novel. He now lives and works at his studio in Red Bank.

ABBEY ROAD LIVE! PERFORMING “THE RED ALBUM”

FRIDAY • AUGUST 15 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $10 ADVANCE • $15 DAY OF

JUST ANNOUNCED AND ON SALE FRIDAY AT 10AM!

CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD TUESDAY • OCTOBER 28 $18 ADVANCE • $20 DAY OF

YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND THURSDAY • OCTOBER 30 $20 ADVANCE • $25 DAY OF

MORE SHOWS @ TRACK29.CO 3 WAYS TO PURCHASE TICKETS TRACK29.CO • (423) 521-2929

BOX OFFICE OPEN 10AM - 6PM EVERY FRIDAY

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

Connecting Garage Innovators and Industry 3D printing is catnip for the investor angels

“

I’ve had very knowledgeable people say this notion of connecting angel-level investment opportunities to 3D printing is such an obvious and clear idea it’s really startling that it’s never been done before.”

Rich Bailey is a professional writer, editor and (sometimes) PR consultant. He led a project to create Chattanooga’s first civic web site in 1995 before even owning a modem. Now he covers Chattanooga technology for The Pulse and blogs about it at CircleChattanooga.com. He splits his time between Chattanooga and Brooklyn.

This year’s Gig Tank, the summer business accelerator run by CoLab, zeroed in on three vertical industry sectors: health care, the smart electrical grid and 3D printing, also known as additive manufacturing. Each of those three tracks included interesting companies RICH with serious prospects in their respective fields. But in 3D printing, Gig Tank broke some ground on a national scale. I spoke with CoLab’s executive director, Mike Bradshaw, as the hybrid accelerator program was in the final approach to its July 29 Demo Day, when 11 companies made pitches to angel investors assembled for the occasion. But Gig Tank itself was also making some waves in the rapidly developing 3D printing world. “I’ve had very knowledgeable people in this space say this notion of connecting angel-level investment opportunities to 3D printing is such an obvious and clear idea it’s really startling that it’s never been done before,” says Bradshaw, who describes this year’s Gig Tank as a hybrid between a hardware accelerator focused on machines and the broader approach of business, tech-

nology or software accelerators. “And the beautiful thing about this was it was an opportunity to connect our manufacturing legacy with this new identity as a hightech mecca that Chattanooga is now,” he adds. “You put those two things together over BAILEY the 3D printing space and you get something that hasn’t been done.” Bradshaw outlines a few signals that Gig Tank is onto something big with 3D printing. First Signal: The nation’s two leading makers of 3D printers donated some of their best machines for the summer. Housed in the Public Library’s 4th Floor maker space are two top-of-the-line polymer printers from 3D Systems and Stratasys, machines that typically would be found in industrial companies using them for rapid prototyping. “You take a look at what’s sitting up in the library,” says Bradshaw. “There’s a few hundred thousand dollars of equipment. Those companies just don’t do that, but they did it for us.” Second Signal: Dozens of 3D printing startups from all over the country applied

Tech Talk

6 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

to participate in Gig Tank. “We don’t have $150,000 in seed money we’ll give you just because you came in, we have $15,000,” Bradshaw says. “We have many, many wonderful qualities, but we’re not surrounded by people who can wave a pen and a billion dollars appears in your checking account. You know, the San Francisco startup story that’s so attractive—it’s catnip to entrepreneurs.” What Gig Tank offers, he says, “is much more hands on, more boutique. It’s a unique experience, but it requires an awful lot of work to stand it up. And we put it together [asking] is this really going to resonate out there? From the quality of teams applying...yes.” Third Signal: When Pando Daily published an article about Gig Tank in June, executives at traditional printing companies started calling. R&D executives from Hewlett-Packard and Konica-Minolta spent considerable time interviewing Gig Tank’s 3D printing teams. Both companies have recently announced they are entering 3D printing. Bradshaw is careful to avoid ascribing any specific goals to those companies, but he notes, “This is a really mergers-and-acquisitionsdriven business. The growth of these companies is driven by going out there and acquiring small companies that are doing things that manage to rise above.” What did they find attrac-

tive about Gig Tank? “It’s the concentration of 3D printing innovators in one space,” Bradshaw says. “They’ve never seen anything like that.” Bradshaw cites General Electric’s Leading Edge Engine Project—which has replaced an aircraft engine valve that had 18 components and was subjected to high mechanical stress with a single part that is 3D-printed out of titanium—as evidence that 3D printing is crossing a line to become part of general manufacturing. “You can see this dawning,” he says. “It’s not just a future play. It’s real, immediate opportunity now that can be explored by entrepreneurs that can be aided by these traditional accelerator processes.” Gig Tank has tried to connect two typically separated groups: the garage innovators who build companies from scratch, and the major research institutions and big industrial producers who can invest in research and development. “What we attempted to do was to connect those two, to use the energy coming out of the maker movement and connect it with the serious at-scale manufacturers’ understanding of the way the world actually works out there in hard goods manufacturing, and that is unique,” says Bradshaw. “This is the beginning of something that’s going to be happening across the country.”

“...true passion on a plate.” —The Pulse Magazine Join Us For

MONDAY “OFF THE CUFF” MENU NIGHT Special Featured Menu + Limited A La Carte Menu

APPALACHIAN THERAPY Join Us for Cocktail Hour: $5 Well Drinks + $2 Off House Wine

Dinner Mon - Thu: 5 – 9pm Fri - Sat: 5 – 10pm

BrUnch Sun: 11am – 2pm cocktail hoUr Mon - Fri: 5 – 7pm

TERRAMAECHATTANOOGA.COM | 122 E 10TH ST | 423.710.2925 chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

hellbenders: Fighting to Save a Prehistoric Giant

The Chattanooga Zoo’s Hellbender Project is about the whole ecosystem By David Hedrick · Photos by David Herasimtschuk

e work with this species at the Chattanooga Zoo and we study it in the wild. It is an aquatic ambush predator that’s resided in the waterways of Eastern North America for at least 7 million years, and its predecessors in Asia for 170 million or more. Its two closest relatives survive today in China and Japan. It does not have gills and does not put the rudimentary lungs it does have to much use.

8 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

This prehistoric creature was more widely known a generation ago, when people lived a little closer to the land, and when there were much larger populations of the North American Giant Salamander—better known as the Hellbender. Hellbenders are also known as Allegheny Alligators, Snot Otters and Devil Dogs. The largest specimen ever recorded was 29 inches long and was caught in the Smoky Mountains in the 1930s. The United States is home to two varieties of Hellbender. We have the more abundant (relatively speaking) Eastern Hellbender here in Tennessee. Missouri and Arkansas are home to the endangered Ozark subspecies which, at this point, is only found in three streams. Hellbenders are a largely forgotten species. To those of us that work with them, it certainly seems like bad timing—as people have spent the last few decades losing their knowledge of wild things, Hellbender populations have simultaneously undergone catastrophic population collapse throughout most of their range. There are many things that have contributed to this collapse: pollution, acidification of streams from mining activities (think Ocoee River and North Chickamauga Creek), and the notion that they were bad for fish populations. Those are certainly unfortunate, but the single worst contributing factor has been siltation; in other words, dirt and soil running off into our streams. Human activities throughout the last century in agriculture, logging and construction have turned many clear, cool, rocky-bottomed streams into mud-filled ditches. Creeks and rivers in the Tennessee Valley look nothing like they did a century ago. This is important to the Hellbender for many reasons. First, they find refuge underneath large rocks on stream bottoms.

This is where they defend themselves, ambush their prey, lay their eggs, and guard their young. As our streams have filled with mud, the diversity of fish and aquatic invertebrates has decreased. Mud has infiltrated many of the old swimming and fishing holes in streams all over the Tennessee Valley, and as those streams became shallower, water temperatures got higher. Since they have no gills and don’t use their lungs, Hellbenders absorb the oxygen they need through their skin. Higher temperatures in streams means lower oxygen content, which is bad for benders—and many other species. Yet, you can still find Hellbenders in these severely compromised streams. They can survive in them, but there are not enough places for egg laying, nor rocky habitat for the small offspring. So an adult population dwindles over time, a few solitary individuals lingering for decades, until at last, they pass on. Such is the situation for most of the population in our region. There were robust populations in Middle Tennessee as recently as the 1980s, the streams coming out of the plateau, and the Tennessee Valley historically would also have had good populations. Now, the Hellbender is what we call functionally extinct over most of the region. Northeast Mississippi, Northern Alabama, and Northwest Georgia have also seen the species vanish. I grew up hearing stories from my father about catching them in South Chickamauga Creek. Every time we crossed South Chick on Brainerd Road, I’d crane my head to look down into the creek from the car window, hoping to catch a glimpse of one. In 2010, a young fisherman caught one in the South Chick in North Georgia. I went to see it and verify what it was, then let the Georgia Department of Natural Resources know about it. They

were excited because this was the first record of the species in that stream in 50 years. We followed up together and did surveys in the area but didn’t find any others. For nearly a decade, study on the part of many academic field biologists and zoo herpetologists has tried to assess the status of our wild populations. The Chattanooga Zoo has been part of this field research effort since 2009. At this point, our state has six streams, that have healthy, self-sustaining, populations of Hellbenders. As a matter of perspective, though, these are relatively small sections of these streams. String all of Tennessee’s highquality sections of Hellbender habitat together, and the distance would not reach from Chattanooga to Cleveland, Tennessee. All six of these streams are in the mountains along our border with North Carolina, the last stronghold of Eastern Hellbenders. The streams and rivers of the Appalachian Mountains, especially in North Carolina, are some of the most protected streams in our country. That’s why there are still good Hellbender populations there. Bad practices in regards to watersheds are everywhere, though, and North Carolina is no exception. What makes extreme East Tennessee, Northeast Georgia and Western North Carolina such good habitat? Without question, it is the fact that these are National Forest lands with large amounts of intact forest cover, that have a higher degree of protection—but logging and resource extraction are still threats. We were able to showcase Tennessee’s great habitat last year when we co-hosted the sixth meeting of the Hellbender Symposium along with Lee University and the Nashville Zoo. Ninety-five Giant Salamander researchers from across the U.S. and Japan came to Chattanooga to spend time in the field and share the latest in their research. Something that we do not hear enough about around here is our native biodiversity. We have more species of animals and plants here where we live,

“

As people have spent the last few decades losing their knowledge of wild things, Hellbender populations have simultaneously undergone catastrophic population collapse throughout most of their range.”

than anyplace else on Earth outside of the tropics. That’s why snorkeling in our best rivers is like reef diving—the fish diversity is amazing. The Southeast is the global center for crayfish, salamander and freshwater mussel species diversity. But our rich ecology is not defined by park boundaries, and extinction, already visited upon numerous species in the Southeast, continues to loom for one third to one half of aquatic species here where we live. The Chattanooga Zoo is doing its part to change that. The field research component of our Hellbender Project, for its first five seasons, focused on following up on historical and anecdotal records of Hellbenders in East Tennessee. It has mostly been a story of verifying the absence of Hellbenders in numerous streams, with a few happy exceptions. This season we were

awarded the Cryptobranchid Interest Group Ron Goellner Conservation Fund Grant. It helps fund our study of eight Cumberland Plateau streams over the next year. What we want to determine is: 1) Do these streams still contain Hellbenders? 2) If they don’t, could they support the species? Habitat structure makes Cumberland Plateau streams very hard to survey for Hellbenders. So, this season, in addition to traditional methods, we will be using a newer survey method that has been utilized and refined over the last several years. Environmental DNA (or eDNA) is an amazing technology that allows us to pump a liter of water through a paper filter, and send it off to be tested for Hellbender DNA. It is proving a very useful tool to researchers by detecting bits of DNA in the water column from shed skins

and fecal material. We can literally determine the presence of the species without seeing it. Several states have undertaken Hellbender reintroduction projects, but right now, there are no formal plans at the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency for reintroduction of Hellbenders in different locations—but down the road, there almost certainly will be, and we want to be ready. The Chattanooga Zoo’s Hellbender Project also has a husbandry component. We have constructed a 40-footlong, indoor stream with the goal of breeding Eastern Hellbenders in captivity. The St. Louis Zoo bred the Ozark subspecies for the first time in 2011, and the Nashville Zoo has bred Eastern Hellbenders with assisted reproductive technology. An unassisted breeding at the Chattanooga Zoo would be a first for Eastern Hellbenders. We have two local conservation partners for the Chattanooga Zoo’s Hellbender Project, Terminal Brewhouse and Mohawk Canoes. Steve at the Terminal has crafted a fine seasonal beer they have dubbed “Hellbender Hefeweizen”, which is on tap now. Ten percent of sales go directly to support our field research efforts. They have also made Hellbender Hefeweizen shirts again this season. This is the third year of our partnership with the Terminal. Greg and Richard at Mohawk Canoes have been essential in providing gear when we need it in the field, and supporting the educational component of our Hellbender Project. Our conservation outreach focuses on the paddling and outdoor rec community. If a stream is good for paddling and trout fishing, it is typically good for Hellbenders. Our economy is better when our biodiversity is protected. How we treat the rich ecosystems we have here, is ultimately how we treat ourselves and our children. We share habitat with these ancient giants. We are part of the ecology, not separate from it. And we owe it to the system and ourselves to protect and reclaim it.

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

SCREEN SCENE

The World’s Nicest Murderer Linklater’s 2012 “Bernie” is worth a rental

T’S UNLIKELY THAT CHATTANOOGA WILL EVER BEcome a limited release city. We aren’t New York or Los Angeles, and as passionate for film as many of us are, we are still a town between two major population centers. Atlanta and Nashville are simply larger markets.

A Bloody Pit of Horror Local “kooky spooky” horror group returns to Channel 12 What is Shock Theatre? Simply put, it’s a haunted world featuring classic and contemporary horror films, hosted by the neurotic ghoul Dr. Shock and his devilishly lovely sidekick Nurse Goodbody. Joining them is the mischievous prankster puppet Dingbat. A new addition as puppet master is a “dream reaper” known as The Dirge. In “Bloody Pit of Horror”, the seventh episode created by the local horror film group, you can expect a series of vignettes depicting different forms of torture humorously acted out by the cast of Shock Theatre

✴✴✴✴

in their special kooky spooky way. In addition to presenting Massimo Pupillo’s “Bloody Pit of Horror”, you’ll witness Nurse Goodbody giving a lethal injection to Wolfy, Dirge the Dream Reaper’s backstory, the cast trying to communicate telepathically and in the finale, Dr. Shock performing his death defying feat, “The Electric Chair”. And just in case that isn’t enough, Shock Theatre will highlight another musical guest, local noise rockers Sickness of the System. The latest episode will air Saturday night at Midnight on WDEF-TV 12.

NEW IN THEATERS

Guardians of the Galaxy In the far reaches of space, an American pilot named Peter Quill finds himself the object of a manhunt after stealing an orb coveted by the villainous Ronan. Director: James Gunn Stars: Chris Pratt, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana

✴✴✴✴

Get o\On Up A chronicle of James Brown’s rise from extreme poverty to become one of the most influential musicians in history, featuring a towering performance by Chadwick Boseman. Director: Tate Taylor Stars: Chadwick Boseman, Nelsan Ellis, Dan Aykroyd, Viola Davis

10 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

The economics of film release aren’t going to change anytime soon. So, as we twiddle our thumbs and collectively wait for Richard Linklater’s most recent film “Boyhood” to find its way into our darkened theaters, we must look elsewhere for quality. JOHN For those who love Linklater, there is one particular film of his, released in 2012, that might have been overlooked. Hidden away in the sometimes overwhelming suggestions of Netflix is “Bernie,” a characterfocused dark comedy that is distinctly Southern. The film is based on a true story, so much so that the film features several interviews with actual residents of Carthage, Texas. Whatever the South is or isn’t, whatever faults and eccentricities it has, it is a place of unique and fascinating culture. “Bernie” shows that there are some things that can only happen below the Mason-Dixon Line. Bernie Tiede is a transplant to Carthage, Texas from Arkansas who arrives in town to work at the Hawthone Family Funeral Home as assistant funeral director. Charming, effete, conscientious and kind are only a few of the words that could

describe Bernie. He is a devout Methodist, a committed community member, and genuine delight to the residents of the town. Bernie is known for taking that extra step, especially towards the recently widowed, providing comfort and friendship at every turn. He DEVORE treats everyone the same, regardless of their social stature or disposition. Never is this as evident as when he begins his most infamous relationship with a client, Mrs. Marjorie Nugent. Mrs. Nugent is the sole heir to a fortune made in oil and is regarded as one of the meanest women in Carthage. And yet, Bernie pierces her armor of sour malice and the two become fast friends. After several years of friendship, which includes exotic vacations and firstclass living, Mrs. Nugent writes her children out of her will and leaves everything to Bernie. Not long after, Bernie shoots Mrs. Nugent four times in the back on their way to lunch and hides her body in a freezer. The town erupts into an odd controversy—no one quite believes that Bernie committed the crime, despite his immediate confession. The prosecution is forced to request a rare prosecutorial change of venue

Screen

JOIN US THURSDAY, AUGUST 14 TH FOR OUR

Five Course Wine Dinner

JOIN US FOR A FIVE COURSE TASTING OF BONTERRA, JEKEL, AND SANCTUARY WINES PAIRED WITH FIVE DISHES. 6 PM - 8 PM • $59 PER PERSON • LIMITED SEATING • FOR RESERVATIONS CALL 423.634.9172

for the trial. Everyone in Carthage simply loves Bernie too much. What makes the film great isn’t the story so much as how it is told. Bernie is played by Jack Black, an actor generally not known for understatement, and yet our understanding of his character comes almost exclusively from what others say about him. Black plays the role magnificently. He is appropriately odd and endearing, likable and slightly off-putting. But beyond his performance, the town of Carthage is the real star. The tale is told through interviews and captures the influence of small-town gossip over facts, no matter how concrete they may be. From an outsider’s perspective, Bernie Tiede is a murderer and scoundrel, an opinion the Nugent family holds to this day. But the town makes him something else. They remember the man who led the choir with grace and sang with a golden voice, the man

who directed the youth in musical theater and encouraged participation in the arts, the man who comforted so many during their time of suffering, the man who freely and generously gave to those less fortunate with an old miser’s money. How can someone with such good qualities do something so dark and terrible? The lengths some of the townspeople go to in order to justify a clear case of homicide are fascinating. “Bernie” is great filmmaking. It takes a powerful understanding of Southern, small-town dynamics to create something so on point in terms of the culture. While the film is billed as a comedy, the humor is found not in what happened but in the way it shaped the conversation and tested the moral integrity of the residents of Carthage. Justice was ultimately served in this case (at least initially), but it is amazing what a person can get away with just for being nice.

KITCHENATUNIONSQUARE.COM • 423.634.9172 2 TALLAN BUILDING �� 2 UNION SQUARE 200 MLK BLVD • CHATTANOOGA, TN 37402

Kitchen at Union Square supports Culinard, the Culinary Institute of Virginia College School of Business and Health in Chattanooga, where our staff of professional chefs provide a learning lab and teaching establishment for culinary and pastry arts students from Culinard.

07_2014_KAUS_Pulse_Wine_Dinner_Ad.indd 1

7/29/14 9:12 AM

“The lengths some of the townspeople go to in order to justify a clear case of homicide are fascinating.”

812 SCENIC HIGHWAY LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN, TENNESSEE MON - THU: 11:00 AM - 9:00 PM FRI - SAT: 11:00 AM - 10:00 PM chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

MUSIC SCENE

Time to Move Your Feet and Party, Mon

New Venue to Steam into Town 500-seat facility will complement Track 29 at Choo Choo Big doings are about to begin at the Chattanooga Choo Choo—and plans include a new 500-seat sister music venue to Track 29. A bevy of city and county officials was on hand on Monday, July 28 to hear former mayor Jon Kinsey announce that the $8 million renovation of the Choo Choo property, designed to open up all of the Market and 14th Street area as part of the planned city “entertainment district”, will break ground on Friday. Along with the new music facility, by spring 2015, according to projections, the Choo Choo property will

also be home to the Comedy Catch (moving from its long-time Brainerd Road home to another new 500-seat venue), along with The Blue Fish Restaurant & Oyster Bar and Sam’s AllAmerican Sports Grill. No major details were provided about the music facility, but clearly the intention is to create a venue that will complement Track 29 by booking artists better suited to a mid-sized auditorium rather than the 1,200-1,700-person T29. Look for more information in The Pulse’s upcoming State of the Arts issue on — Janis Hashe Aug. 14.

thu7.31

fri8.1

sat8.2

MUSEUM MUSIC

MACHINE PEOPLE

WOLF PACKING

Dark Horse Ten

Machines Are People Too

Pack of Wolves

The Hunter Museum’s All American Summer concert series continues with some straight up rockn-roll (no chaser) from Dark Horse Ten. Known for for driving melodies and original songcraft, DHT is as simple as it gets: two guitars, bass, drums and original songs. 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View huntermuseum.org

If you’ve never seen them live, you need to as soon as possble. The band’s eclectic sound and progressive music creates a live show that leaves no toes untapped and will leave you with no other choice but to let go and dance. 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

It’s blood-and-guts blues, drawing on original songs, as well as source nuggets from the likes of Howlin’ Wolf, Sonny Boy Williamson, and Muddy Waters. The live sets grow from subtle to savage as the band tunes in the echoes of authentic American blues. 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

12 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Chattanooga reggae-lovers The Iscariots release their debut album Act of Treason

HATTANOOGA-BASED REGGAE BAND THE ISCARIOTS dropped their debut album, Act of Treason, on July 11. Maybe you missed it. It was a low-key affair, after all, with the band opening Nightfall that evening before jamming over to JJ’s for the official release party. (That, gentle reader, is sarcasm.)

Music MARC T. MICHAEL

“

There’s nothing low-key about the Iscariots and the music they make; they are a perpetual party looking for a place to happen.”

There’s nothing low-key about the Iscariots and the music they make; they are a perpetual party looking for a place to happen. If this were the ’70s, they would be starring in a succession of made-for-TV movies in which the band travels the world battling injustice with infectiously rumpshaking party anthems. Also, superpowers (probably.) What I’m trying to say in a mildly tongue-in-cheek fashion is that they are marvelously good at what they do and why shouldn’t they be? They certainly have the résumé. Even if you don’t recognize the band’s name, you can’t help but recognize the fellows themselves (provided you’ve been around the local music scene anytime in the last 10 or 15 years.) Jesse James Jungkurth, Adrian Lajas, Brett Nolan and Ivan Garcia are highly skilled and respected musicians. They are all alumni of the near-legendary Milele Roots. They all eventually moved on to pursue other interests and successful solo projects. Now they’ve come together to cook up their own special recipe of reggae with Jungkurth’s songwriting as the secret sauce. A word on that: I’ve been a musician for a quarter-century now. In that time I *may* have written a dozen songs or so and of those there are only five or so I’m

Some Good Ol’ Downhome Music

not ashamed for people to hear. Of those, there are two that I think might actually be pretty decent. This is why I a) have tremendous respect for talented songwriters and b) am convinced they must be wizards. Making a difficult task look easy is the mark of true talent, and that’s Jesse, through and through. That being said, songwriting alone doesn’t make a band. A wellwritten tune falls flat if the band isn’t up to the task. The Iscariots are more than up to the task. In fact, I’ve just coined a phrase to describe their playing: organic precision. It is an atypical dichotomy. They are tight without sounding clinical; they are natural without being raw or sloppy. It is the kind

honest music

of sound that only comes from the combination of a great deal of individual skill and an almost intuitive rapport between the players. Most bands have one or the other; the Iscariots have both. The album consists of 12 tracks. There are a few familiar tunes (“Fantasy World” and “Outlaw” being two of my personal favorites) along with a great deal of new material, all of it masterfully arranged and recorded. If it doesn’t make you want to get up and dance, you might want to check your pulse. I’ve been to Jamaica a handful of times (going back again in the spring) and besides the scenery, there are three things Jamaica does better than most any place

I’ve been: Food, music and…a third thing I can’t seem to recall for some reason. The reggae the Iscariots play is not entirely like the reggae you hear in Jamaica, but then I don’t think it was ever meant to be. The Iscariots have a distinctly American flavor that comes from using a wider palette of sounds and styles, but I will say this: I believe completely that the culture that birthed reggae music would embrace with open arms what these guys are doing—and that is saying a lot. The boys are ramping up to tour so it may be a while before you can see them live again around town. In the meantime, Act of Treason is available now so buy it, listen to it, love it and then legalize it.

Local folk duo Rye Baby, featured in this publication back in May, has been hard at work with new tunes, a new album and some new friends to share the stage with on July 31 at Rhythm Megan Saunders & Brews. Jennifer and Callie will be joined Thursday night by Emily Bonn and the Vivants as well as California transplant Megan Saunders, renowned for her work with banjo and mandolin. Emily Bonn and the Vivants are dropping in as part of their Sweet, Sunny South tour. The San Francisco-based Western Swing band boasts a list of stylistic influences that include honky tonk, swing and Cajun, served up with a modern twist. Band leader Bonn, having practiced her chops in country stores, subways and Belgian prisons, is now swimmingly prepared for a Chattanooga crowd. Saunders, formerly of Santa Cruz, recently moved to the Scenic City and will be looking to establish herself here with some hefty bluegrass chops and sharp songwriting skills. Rye Baby has begun production of their newest album, Cowboy Chords, a work they have designated “release-as-we-go”. Individual tracks will be made available as they are finished (there are currently two posted) through their Bandcamp page with physical hard copies available once the album is complete. — MTM On July 31 at Rhythm & Brews, doors open at 8 p.m., show starts at 9 p.m. and there is a $7 cover at the door for some of the best Americana/folk/Western music the area has to offer.

local and regional shows

Endelouz with The Sandwich [$5] Old Time Travelers [FREE]

Thu, July 31 Sun, Aug 3

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Ryan Oyer hosts Open Mic every Wednesday @ 8pm

9pm 7pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

LIVE MUSIC JULY / AUG

31 MACHINES PEOPLE FRI 10p 1 SAT RICK RUSHING 9P 2 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 5 FRI MATT STEPHENS 9p 8 SAT DAVE MATTHEWS 10P 9 SOUL MECHANIC THU 9p 14 THE EMILY BONN AND VIVANTS

TOO

ARE

THU with RYE BABY, MEGAN SAUNDERS 9p

with ELECTRIC SONS

& BLUES STRANGERS

RYAN OYER BAND, GUNPOWDER & PEARLS 17 PIECE BAND, TWO SINGERS, FUN! PROJECT

"TIM HENRY MEMORIAL SHOW" THE SOUND IS SPOT ON!

TRIBUTE BAND

ROOTS OF A REBELLION, SUN DRIED VIBES

8.15 THE WRONG WAY: A TRIBUTE TO SUBLIME 8.16 SEAN RIVERS BAND

COMING SOON

DECIBELLA

FRI FUNKY R&B WITH A HEAVY SOUL 9p

JIMMY TAWATER with THE POWER PLAYERS

SAT 8p

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Sevendust

thursday7.31 Live Jazz 6 p.m. The Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 702-7300 All American Summer Series: Dark Horse Ten 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View huntermuseum.org Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Mark Lowry 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House 1427 Willams St. thecamphouse.com Endelouz, The Sandwich 9 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Emily Bonin & The Vivants, Rye Baby, Megan Saunders 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Marktet St.

14 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office (Inside City Café) 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 All Them Witches, Gold Plated Gold, Holy Mountaintop Removal 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

friday8.1 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Rd., seerockcity.com

Pulse pick: OPPOSITE BOX A whirlwind of genreshifting excitement and mind-bending confusion landing somewhere between Frank Zappa, Mr. Bungle and Parliament Funkadelic. Opposite Box Friday, 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Jason Thomas and The Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com The London Souls, Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit 7 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com The Collection, The Mailboxes

7 p.m. The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Sevendust, Gemini Syndrome, Silent Season 8 p.m Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.com Husky Burnette 8 p.m. Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Logan from The Micks 8:30 p.m. The Foundry at The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 S. Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 866-3252 Ryan Oyer 9 p.m. The Office (Inside City Café) 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Machines are People Too, Electric Sons 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Opposite Box, Jordan Halaquist, Backup Planet 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

saturday8.2 Magic & Music at the Incline Noon Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. ridetheincline.com Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Joy Ike 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga River Market Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Jacob Powell 7 p.m. Riverfront Nights Ross’s Landing 100 Riverfront Pkwy. riverfrontnights.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com River City Hustlers 8 p.m. Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Baker & Logan from The Micks 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 S. Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Kara-Ory-Oke 10 p.m. The Office (Inside City Café) 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Pack of Wolves, Jess Goggans 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

sunday8.3 Kofi Mawuko 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga River Market Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Joy Ike 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com All American Sunday: Danimal Pinson 1 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View huntermuseum.org Dana Rogers 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Southern Sound Quartet 6 p.m. New Haven Baptist Church 1058 Graysville Rd.

(423) 855-4910 The Old Time Travelers 7 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Rick Rushing & Blues Strangers, Ryan Oyer Band, Gunpowder & Pearls 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Tab Spencer, Rough and Tumble, Rye Baby 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

monday8.4 Robby Hopkins 6 p.m. Lake Winnepesaukah 1730 Lakeview Dr. Rossville, Ga. lakewinnie.com

tuesday8.5 Wendell Matthews Acoustic 7 p.m. The North Chatt Cat 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 266-9466 Tuesday Bluesday

MUSIC CALENDAR

Jacob Powell

with Rick Rushing 7 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Underwear Comedy Show 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

wednesday8.6 Joy Ike 5 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Wide Open Floor 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Weirdbass 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

901 Carter St (Inside City Cafe) 423-634-9191 Thursday, July 31: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, August 1: 9pm Ryan Oyer Saturday, August 2: 10pm Kara-Ory-Oke Tuesday, August 5: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook daily lunCh & drink speCials!

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

Book your Birthday, anniversary or oFFiCe parties now!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

Record Reviews

REJOICE!

IT’S MONDAY (AND TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY!)

ernie paik

Car-on-fire Bar Rock, Sleepless with Synthesizer Alien Whale throws bottles, Matt Berry embraces his synth geek

MONDAYS: $2 PINTS

TUESDAYS: $3 MARTINIS

Alien Whale Alien Whale (Care in the Community)

WEDNESDAYS: ½-PRICE WINE

ON GLASSES & BOTTLES

Chattanooga’s Warehouse Row East 11th & Lindsay St. (423) 779-0400 tupelohoneycafe.com

™

he NYC trio Alien Whale is perhaps like some bizarroworld version of the synth-punk band Suicide that chooses to only play at roadhouses. In this writer’s mind, the fantasy scenario involves keytars, regrettable haircuts and Patrick Swayze’s ghost wearing a sleeveless shirt, while the audience throws empty Busch bottles at the stage in order to signify approval. Live recordings from Alien Whale seem to convey this scene, although the new self-titled studio EP from the band is a bit more controlled and perhaps a little less wild and unrestrained. The opening track “Astral Projections and Suicidal Thoughts” pounds away at a two-note organ pattern with locomotive drumming from Nick Lesley, arc-weld guitar lines from Colin Langenus plus keyboard soloing from Matt Mottel. Although it stays together, the number seems to convey the notion that it could fall apart at any

16 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Matt Berry Music for Insomniacs (Acid Jazz) minute, like a custom-built jerryrigged muscle car hurtling down the highway with a brick on the gas pedal, accelerating to alarming speeds. “Space Boots Foots to Foots” has an electric-blues bar-rock cock-of-the-walk gait with a helping of Dutch courage, mixing psychedelic rock with a smidgen of jazz and not standing in one particular bucket for too long. The EP’s second half consists of the long track “Anointus Venomous Atlanticus” which takes the riffage into slower territory, conveying a bombastic and grandiose attitude over the duration. For Alien Whale’s self-titled EP, the mood hits the right note, but the EP could benefit from having a delivery that was a bit more unpolished and uncertain. With more of a sense of danger and more of the wailing solos and sprawl of the group’s live performances, it would be the difference between a car on fire going 90 miles an hour down a desert

highway, and a car on fire driving at top speed off a cliff.

ritish comedian and musician Matt Berry—a star of such offbeat television series as The IT Crowd and Snuff Box—overcame a bout of insomnia last year by turning his sleeplessness into musical creativity. His new album, Music for Insomniacs, was recorded solely by Berry in his home studio at nighttime, and it’s a departure from his previous folk-prog-pop albums such as Witchazel and Kill the Wolf and nothing like his musical parodies. (By the way, his delivery of “One Track Lover” from Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace belongs in the pantheon of brilliantly spot-on ’80s-music-video parodies.) The photo on the album’s back cover, with Berry sitting among a multitude of analog synthesizers, squarely places the effort in the context of ’60s/’70s synth pioneers, like Wendy Carlos or Jean Michel Jarre.

The album’s title might lead one to expect an ambient album like those made by Brian Eno, and although it is largely serene and agreeable, it is hardly ambient music, with a few, choice passages that are disquieting, jarring and downright strange. Those who choose to use Music for Insomniacs as a sleep aid may find themselves as sleepless as before, or perhaps haunted with bizarre, sinister dreams—the title could very well be Berry’s idea of a joke. The first of two side-length parts is a clear homage to Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells, most famously used as the theme for the film The Exorcist, with a definite ’70s horror-film vibe, like Goblin’s theme from Suspiria. Unsettling moods give way to tender passages with acoustic and electric pianos and soothing patterns. Berry uses vocal and field recordings to confuse the situation; among the sounds heard are children playing, women laughing, wordless singing and a tiny unsettling bit of faint screaming. The track ends by leaning toward synth pop with Vocoder vocals, finishing in a place far away from where it began. Part II is similarly unpredictable, with swooshes and the sound of being plunged into water. A glorious arrival is seemingly signified with choir-type singing, although a baby crying and the tiny notes of a music box are also heard, and the album’s driving conclusion takes a few tips from Kraftwerk. Slyly, Berry has stated about this “experiment,” that “If the experiment is successful you shouldn’t remember it,” so technically, he can’t lose. If this album had come out in 1968, it would have been deemed a masterpiece, but now in 2014, it’s more like a respectable attempt by someone who is clearly a synth geek paying tribute to his influences.

Oh, Blue Agave, We Love You Our man on the barstool takes the fear out of tequila, one sip at a time One Tequila. Two Tequila. Thee Tequila…floor. No one word in the drinking lexicon sparks such fear among party-goers as “Tequila”. Take any table of festive, happygo-lucky revelers and suddenly drop the “T-word” on them and you’ll be met with suddenly silent, deer-in-theheadlights toddlers. I MIKE guess that’s because people almost never say, “Let’s delight in a haste of tequila” or “Let’s lovingly bathe in a sortie of tequila”. They always open the suggestion as, “Hey! Let’s DO some tequila!” The inclusion of the word, “do” seems to convey effort, as in doing laundry...stunt laundry. I think this also has to do with some of the myths that surround the culture of tequila. The main myth is that tequila makes you do crazy things. Actually, it doesn’t. You’re probably already a little off kilter in the first place, you silly person. It’s all in your head, so to speak. Tequila, like every other liquor, contains ethanol. If you need that bro-

ken down for you, ethanol equals alcohol. Too much of that juice has an effect on anyone. If you’re in the mood to get rowdy and slam a bunch of shots, chances are that rowdy is what will occur. But before you blame me for taking the wind out of your four sheets, you’ll forget all about this by the time you get to the shots. And before the evening is over, you’ll be acting DOBBS like raging conquistadors…again. Another common misconception is that tequila is made from cactus. Tequila is made from the agave plant. The agave is more like a yucca plant, which is the thin-leafed, pointy thing that your parents put all over the yard back in the ’70s to keep you from riding your Big Wheel through the flower beds. Out of the 180 varieties of agave, only the Blue Agave is used for producing tequila. All Mexican tequila is made from this by law. And we certainly don’t

Spirits Within

ATHENS ATHENS DISTRIBUTING DISTRIBUTING COMPANY COMPANY

WINE AND WINE SPIRIT ANDW SHOLESALERS PIRIT WHOLESALERS ATHENS COMPANY ATHENSD DISTRIBUTING ISTRIBUTING COMPANY

Locallyowned ownedsince since 1961 Locally owned since 1961 1961

Locally COMPANY

AND SPIRIT WHOLESALERS INE AND SPIRIT WHOLESALERS

Made from 100% blue agave, this sparklingly clear tequila is IT WHOLESALERS Follow us Follow on Facebook us on Facebook Follow us Follow on Twitter us on Twitter double-distilled to Athens Distributing Athens Distributing Company Company Chattanooga Chattanooga @athenschatt @athenschatt remove impurities and Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Visit Visit our website: our website: Athensdistributing.com Athensdistributing.com Follow us on Facebook Follow@athenschatt us on Twitter Athens Distributing Company Chattanooga immediately bottled Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Athens Distributing Company Chattanooga @athenschatt ook Follow us on cebook Follow usTwitter on Twitter to preserve its crisp, Visit our website: Athensdistributing.com Athens Distributing Company Chattanooga @athenschatt Chattanooga @athenschatt pany Chattanooga @athenschatt Visit our website: Athensdistributing.com authentic character.

lyowned ownedsince since1961 1961 ed since 1961

Visit our website: Athensdistributing.com ite: Athensdistributing.com bsite: Athensdistributing.com Follow us on Twitter

an 80-proof SIPPING tequila. “Reposado” means that it’s aged. Precisely, it’s aged in oak barrels for two months. It’s really smooth-palated liquor with citrus and caramel hints hiding within the obvious tequila flavor. This is the brand that I keep handy in my home bar if guests drop in. It’s very good—and it won’t break the bank. Have it straight up or with the mixer of choice. You’ll be pleased either way. Casa Herradura also makes a double-distilled Herradura Tequila Anejo. The Anejo badge means that it’s aged at least a year. This one is kept maturing for 25 months. Like El Jimador, it’s 100 percent agave and it’s 80-proof. The fact that it’s twice distilled and aged longer stands to make it silky slick. Some people tasted banana and buttery notes in this label. I definitely got fruity from it. Caramel surely comes through from the oak aging. It has a plethora of flavors, as El Guapo might say. It’s definitely above-par in the company of midrange brands. It also has a horseshoe on the label. So, buy a lottery ticket when you pick up a bottle. See? That didn’t hurt at all. So, calm down and tipple in a furnishing of tequila. Cheers!

Athens Distributing recommends these fine spirits...

El Jimador ATHENS DISTRIBUTING CHOLESALERS OMPANY W INE S PIRITW W Locally owned owned since since 1961 1961 Blanco W INEAND ANDLocally S PIRIT HOLESALERS W AND SPIRIT WHOLESALERS DISTRIBUTING COMPANY NS DISTRIBUTING CINE OMPANY

BUTING

want to be on the wrong side of that. Over the weekend, I jumped took a seat at the chance to partake in a mucho grande tasting of a couple of favorites from Casa Herradura, located near Guadalajara, Mexico. Herradura was started up by Felix Lopez in 1870 and remained in the family until the 1960s. To this day, the distillery produces 100 percent Blue Agave tequila that’s sold in 136 countries. The most important to note of these being Mexico, where their El Jimador labeled tequila is the Numero Uno selling brand. That said, it’s gotta be pretty good stuff. Tequila El Jimador 100% Agave Reposado, as it’s formally named, is

@athenschatt

hensdistributing.com

El Jimador Reposado

Herradura Silver Tequila

Herradura Reposado Tequila

Made with 100% mature blue agave, handcrafted via our proprietary production process and aged for two months in American oak barrels.

Only the finest blue agave, harvested at their prime after nine to ten years of careful cultivation, are used in Herradura. Smoky herb flavors with a touch of citrus and a rich finish.

Aged in American oak barrels for 11 months. The soft flavor of the wood is combined with the Agave to give life to the most famous rested Tequila in Mexico and the world.

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

ARTS SCENE

Be Still, Listen and Create

Potter Mark Issenberg infuses clay with nature’s voice

What’s SUP, Chattanooga? Paddle through Chattanooga’s past this Saturday This Saturday, August 2, see Chattanooga history from the perspective of the river that shapes it. The Chattanooga History Center, in cooperation with L2 Boards, presents “Paddle through the Past: Chattanooga’s Story”. This event offers you a chance to educate yourself on some fascinating Chattanooga history—while traveling the Tennessee River on a stand-up paddleboard. The tour will depart from Ross’s Landing, then float down the river, making a turn at Veteran’s Bridge before returning to Ross’s Landing. All experience levels are welcome—anyone with an interest in history. The tour lasts one hour, and will

meet at L2 boards at 9 a.m. Fee is $25 for Chattanooga History Center members and $35 for nonmembers, and includes board rentals and life jackets. Chattanooga History Center’s Senior Educator, Caroline Sunderland, will serve as tour guide for this event. Contact Sunderland for registration at caroline.sunderland@chattanoogahistory.org or (423) 265-3247. Registration is required by Friday, August 1, and space is limited. This promises to be an extra-cool way to get your Saturday morning exercise and at the same time, absorb a little Chattanooga culture. Paddle — Jake Bacon on, Wayne!

thu7.31

FRI8.1

SAT8.2

ART STORIES

SALON SHOWING

FREE MOVIE TIME

art.a.ma.jig

“AVA All-Member Salon Show” Opening

Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “Rio 2”

Come on down to the North Shore for an evening of fantastic art from various members of the Association of Visual Artists. 5:30 p.m. AVA 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org

Grab the kids and head over to the Eastgate Library for a free screening of the animated hit “Rio 2”, featuring the voice talents of Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway. 2:30 p.m. Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd., Ste. 1500 chattlibrary.org

The Southern Lit Alliance’s annual fundraiser celebrates local artists with a a fabulous evening of art, which can be bid on during the silent auction. 6 p.m. Church On Main 1601 Rossville Ave. (423) 822-8299 facebook.com/ SouthernLitAlliance

18 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

HE VIEW FROM THE BLUFF BY MARK ISSENBERG’S pottery studio atop Lookout Mountain is breathtaking. It’s appropriate that his pots are produced in such an environment because they are a perfect embodiment of natural beauty. His unique glazes and the forms that they cover are the result of a lifetime of experimentation and practice.

Arts TONY MRAZ

“

A lot of my time is spent finding my own voice in clay so that people will know that I made that work.”

Issenberg’s work is refined yet distinctive, and exudes a quiet Zen that he brings to the world from a deep connection with nature. When he’s not volunteering at the Tennessee Aquarium or Cloudland Canyon State Park, Mark can be found making pots, tending to his garden, and training Bonsai. The Pulse: How did you get your start as a potter? Mark Issenberg: I started making pottery in ninth grade in Miami, and then went to summer school with my teacher Ron Raymond, who really turned me on to clay. Then my high school art teacher, Gene DeSmet, really helped me to go forward, and he also got me into plants. I’ve been gardening ever since. TP: What did you do after high school? MI: I graduated and drove up here in 1968 to study with Charles Counts at Rising Fawn. Coming here for the summer was my first time away from home. I shared a little cabin near the pottery shop with Jeff Green and Sinclair Ashley, who went on to teach art at Baylor. Charles was a brilliant guy, a great potter, and a great educator. He instilled his work ethic in me and taught me how to manage my time when making pottery. TP: Did your work as a firefighter influence your pottery? MI: I was always a potter before I was a firefighter. It was a great job, it had good benefits, and it was nice to be able to help people. I was an EMT and a firefighter, so

I did rescue and I was on a fire truck. Living in Miami, being on the water affected how I lived and how I thought about clay more than the job. TP: Are there any other artists who have influenced your work? MI: That’s really hard to say. I’m still learning new things daily. I was just watching a video about a guy in Australia doing Bonsai workshops, but there’s not one artist in particular who really influenced me other than Charles. For instance, I make these big platters and they are mine—they’re like nobody else’s. I’m really working on them and I love making them. A lot of my time is spent finding my own voice in clay so that people will know that I made that work. It’s really hard to make your art have a look of your own. TP: Do you place more emphasis on form or function? MI: I make everything functional for what it is. When I make a mug, it’s a mug. There’s no question of what it is. You’re not going to get cut and bleed using my mug, and you can put it in a dishwasher or microwave it. It’s safe. It’s the same with my Bonsai pots…they’re really sculptural but functional. TP: Do you have any observations about the state of the arts in Chattanooga? MI: A lot of people enjoy seeing these big pieces of sculpture in Chattanooga, but we really need a place where everybody can go for

Taking Strength from the Mountains

the arts. The city spends all kinds of money to put art out in public, but there is a lack of art education. It’s all divided. Everybody has their little art thing around town but what we need is one big place that is devoted to the arts, like a Creative Arts Guild, where anybody can go. We also need a really good botanical garden. I’m not talking about Reflection Riding; that’s wonderful for what it is, but I’m talking about a place that is enclosed in glass that has all kinds of tropical plants that you will never see anywhere else. Many surrounding cities have a

good one. Growing plants is an art form too. TP: What is your philosophy on life? MI: Be happy. I like to keep things very simple, growing stuff and making pots. There is a quote on the wall in my studio that says, “I’ve found that 99% of my practices and worshiping consists of just going outside, sitting still, shutting up, and listening.” Mark’s pottery can be found here in town at Plum Nelly and Area 61, and his studio/gallery at Rising Fawn is open to the public by appointment. Visit lookoutmountainpottery.com

For some artists, the true value of their work isn’t acknowledged until years— sometimes many years—after their deaths. Such is the case with poet, painter and musician Emma Bell Miles, who spent much of her life on Walden’s Ridge. Born in Illinois in 1879, she died in Red Bank in 1919. The creative Miles struggled with poverty and a troubled marriage but still managed to produce several self-illustrated books. Local author and poet Peggy Douglas has written a two-act play, “Twisted Roots,” about Miles, which will be presented at the Mountain Arts Community Center Aug. 1-3. Described as a “series of dynamic monologues set to traditional Appalachian music,” the play, says Douglas, “strives to find the levity in bittersweet and sometimes tragic family experiences in early 20th-century Appalachia, as well as the richness of its natural world and surrounding culture. The performance invites us to integrate and celebrate the past rather than wear it like a bit and bridle.” — Janis Hashe “Twisted Roots” 7 p.m. Aug. 1, 2; 2 p.m. Aug. 3 Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave, Signal Mountain. (423) 886-1959, signalmacc.org

State of the Arts ‘14 is coming... Don’t miss out on the largest issue of the year. The movers. The shakers. The decision makers. Call (423) 265-9494 to find out how to reach them.

The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

ARTS CALENDAR

Shark Fest!

thursday7.31

for more info call 706.820.2531

SeeRockCity.com ...and make plans this weekend!

African Drum & Dance Classes 1 p.m. Building Stable 3750 Hughes Ave. (423) 697-3805 Southern Lit Alliance art.a.ma.jig 6 p.m. Church On Main 1601 Rossville Ave. (423) 822-8299 facebook.com/ SouthernLitAlliance Capes and Kicks Flashmob Run 7 p.m. Run Chattanooga Downtown Chattanooga eventbrite.com

friday8.1

F eaturing the ld O Time Travelers! Another great reason to get a Rock City Annual Pass. For less than the cost of two single admissions, you can come back again and again... for FREE!

“AVA All-Member Salon Show” Opening 5:30 p.m. AVA 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org Shark Fest! 6 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 262-0695 tnaqua.org “Immortalized” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery

20 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com “Twisted Roots” 7 p.m. Signal Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave. (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org Craig Shoemaker 7:30. 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Wide Open Floor 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 wideopenfloore.weebly.com “La Cage aux Folles” 7:30 p.m

Pulse pick: Craig Shoemaker Craig Shoemaker is a modern day Renaissance man. Best known for his engaging and relatable standup and his iconic, baritone-voiced character “The Lovemaster”. Craig Shoemaker This weekend The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. thecomedycatch.com

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (inside Eastgate Center) (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

saturday8.2 Stand up Paddleboard History Tour 9 a.m. L2 Boards 100 Market St. (423) 265-3247 chattanoogahistory.org Northside Farmers’ Market on Mississippi 10 a.m. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497

Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Cherokee Heritage Festival 10 a.m. Red Clay State Historic Park 1140 Red Clay Park Rd. (423) 478-0339 tnstateparks.com Saturday Morning Handicrafts 10:30 a.m. Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org Market Above The Clouds 11 a.m. Market Above the Clouds 1214 Lula Lake Rd. facebook.com/pages/ Market-Above-The-Clouds Craftown Paper Craft 11:30 a.m. Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd., Ste 1500 chattlibrary.org 90-Second Movie Makeover: “The Giver” 2 p.m. Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd., Ste. 1500 chattlibrary.org Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “Rio 2” 2:30 p.m. Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd., Ste. 1500 chattlibrary.org Crafts for Kids 3 p.m.

ARTS CALENDAR

Cherokee Heritage Festival Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org “Twisted Roots” 7 p.m. Signal Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave. (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org “La Cage aux Folles” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (inside Eastgate Center) (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Craig Shoemaker 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

sunday8.3 Cherokee Heritage Festival 10 a.m. Red Clay State Historic Park 1140 Red Clay Park Rd. (423) 478-0339 tnstateparks.com Chattanooga Market: National Farmers Market Day 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com “Twisted Roots” 2 p.m.

Signal Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave. (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org Free Mindfulness Meditation 2 p.m. Center for Mindful Living 1212 McCallie Ave. (423) 486-1279 centerminfullliving.org

monday8.4 Art Class: Beginning Watercolor 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St., Ste.107 (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Rhythm Ballroom Dance 6 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson 7001 Middle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428 theballroomathixson.com

tuesday8.5 We I Women Entrepreneur Symposium 8:30 a.m. Stratton Hall 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332 facebook.com/ wechattanooga Friends of the Library Sale 11 a.m. Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310

chattlibrary.org ArtsBuild Night at the Flying Squirrel 5 p.m. Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 alliedartschattanooga.org Underwear Comedy Show 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

wednesday8.6 Wednesday Art Table 3 p.m. Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org Chattanooga Wednesday Market 4 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com

ongoing “Constant Motion” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Dirt Track History Races Museum Center at 5ive Points 200 Inman Street East. (423) 339-5745

museumcenter.org “The Wizard of Oz” Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “Hunter Invitational III” The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Abstract and Contemporary” Reflection Gallery 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 267-9214 reflectionsgallerytn.com “AVA All Member Salon Show” AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org “Immortalized” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com “Open 24 Hours” Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Rock City Raptors Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn., GA (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth”

World Reviewer

RubyFalls.com 423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com

Open Daily!

RubyFallsZip.com

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

Mixology

Take the brewery everywhere.

Help for the Fledgling Wine Drinker Lose the intimidation and start your journey

Red Hare is the first micro-brewery in Georgia to can its craft beer. We know it’s the best way to preserve the finest ingredients that we put into all our brews. Exceptional flavor profiles. Rich aromas. Complex, yet balanced taste in every can.

Enjoy, wherever you are. Certified Recycled Aluminum

Red Hare now in stores #chasetherabbit

Please drink responsibly.

22 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

madeline chambliss

Please recycle.

The first bottle of wine that I bought was a bottle of Barefoot Pink Moscato that was on sale for $5 at the liquor store down the street from my apartment. It was inexpensive, pink—and the label said it was “deliciously sweet.” And it was “deliciously sweet” to me, a 21 year old who hadn’t, at the time, much experience when it came it to drinking wine, and didn’t know where to begin. All I knew was that there were white wines, red wines, and pink wines. Now, two years and several glasses of wine later, I can say that I like the wine my dad orders when our family goes out to dinner, that I favor white wine slightly more than red, and I’m not as lost in the wine section of a liquor store as I once was. With the variety of wine available, finding a good bottle of wine to start out with can be a little intimidating. A good way to start working your way toward becoming the wine aficionado in your group of friends is to go to your local liquor store and ask for a recommendation. Those who work with wine know what’s popular and can help you find a bottle based on what you think you might like, what you’ve had, or the price range you’re aiming for. What’s important to remember is that wine, like beer, is an acquired taste and that even the same varietal of wine differs from vintner to vintner, and from palate to palate. Recommendations can get you started, but your taste buds will make the ultimate decision. With that being said, most wine drinkers recommend starting off with white

wine and working your way to red. More specifically, those new to the wine club are recommended to start with sweeter wines such as a Moscato or a Riesling. If you’re looking for a white wine that isn’t as sweet, Pinot Grigio and Chardonnay are high in popularity. A Pinot Grigio, such as Rex-Goliath (a favorite of mine) is a good, dry-ish summer wine with a tangy bite left as an aftertaste. Also dry, Chardonnays are often described as having a rich and buttery, or even an “oaky” flavor, depending on how long they are fermented in oak barrels. Red wines are frequently even drier and have darker, fruity flavors like cherries, blackberries and plums. Blended reds, such as Apothic Red, have zoomed up in sales. A blend of Zinfandel, Syrah, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot (some of the big names for red wine) this wine brings a mix of fruit, such as rhubarb and cherries, with spices and flavors like mocha and vanilla. For those interested in trying one of the most popular red wines, Cabernet Sauvignon, one of my favorites is Dreaming Tree Cabernet Sauvignon, with flavors combining blackberries, cherries, and vanilla. The label is made with 100 percent recycled paper, the cork is recyclable (and has a cool poem printed on it)—and Dave Matthews is one of the winemakers. Ultimately, the best way to figure out what you like in wine is just to try a little bit of everything. After all, most wine improves with age—and so does your knowledge of wine.

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. This is your moment. Own it.” — Oprah Winfrey Courage. Embarrassment. Humiliation. Perseverance. Responsibility. Success These aren’t just pretty words. Eleanor Roosevelt said you must do, every day, the one thing you fear to do. Wow. It’s a tall order, but what do we have to do that’s more important than growing through our limitations? You know what the alternative is to living, to growing…and we’ll all be six feet under soon enough. So why not try? And fail. And try again and do better. Take responsibility for all of it. Learn from those “character-building” moments and feel the empowerment that comes from success. Sure, failure is embarrassing and hard on the ol’ self-esteem, at least temporarily. But here’s the thing: You don’t just get to own the bumbling, humiliating missteps. You also get to own your moment at the finish line, heart pounding, crowds roaring, a smile on your face—and a joy in your soul that you’ll remember forever. chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

Free Will Astrology

HOME GAMES

Thu, July 31 • 7:15 PM vs. Birmingham Barons Back to School Night

Fri, Aug. 1 • 7:15 PM vs. Birmingham Barons Fireworks!

Sat, Aug. 2 • 7:15 PM vs. Birmingham Barons Used Car Night

Sun, Aug. 3 • 2:15 PM vs. Birmingham Barons Dogs on the Diamond

Mon, Aug. 4 • 7:15 PM vs. Birmingham Barons Kids Eat Free Monday

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Earth has been around for almost 4.6 billion years. But according to scientists who study the fossil records, fire didn’t make its first appearance on our planet until 470 million years ago. Only then were there enough land-based plants and oxygen to allow the possibility of fires arising naturally. Do the math and you will see that for 90 percent of the Earth’s history, fire was absent. In evolutionary terms, it’s a newcomer. As I study your astrological omens for the next ten months, I foresee the arrival of an almost equally monumental addition to your life, Leo. You can’t imagine what it is yet, but by this time next year, you won’t fathom how you could have lived without it for so long. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the nights to come, I expect you will dream of creatures like fiery monsters, robot warriors, extraterrestrial ghosts, and zombie vampires. But here’s the weird twist: They will be your helpers and friends. They will protect you and fight on your behalf as you defeat your real enemies, who are smiling pretenders wearing white hats. Dreams like this will prepare you well for events in your waking life, where you will get the chance to gain an advantage over fake nice guys who have hurt you or thwarted you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It’s fine if you want to turn the volume all the way up on your charisma and socialize like a party animal. I won’t protest if you gleefully blend business and pleasure as you nurture your web of human connections. But I hope you will also find time to commune with the earth and sky and rivers and winds. Why? You are scheduled to take a big, fun spiritual test in the not-too-distant future. An excellent way to prepare for this rite of passage will be to deepen your relationship with Mother Nature. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You are hereby excused from doing household chores and busywork, Scorpio. Feel free to cancel boring appointments. Avoid tasks that are not sufficiently epic, majestic, and fantastic to engage your heroic imagination. As I see it, this is your time to think really big. You have cosmic authorization to give

24 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny source of wealth that’s beyond your grasp. But I’m betting that in the next ten months you will figure out a way to tap into it, and begin the process.

your full intensity to exploring the amazing maze where the treasure is hidden. I urge you to pay attention to your dreams for clues. I encourage you to ignore all fears except the one that evokes your most brilliant courage. Abandon all trivial worries, you curious warrior, as you go in quest of your equivalent of the Holy Grail. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Broadway is one of New York City’s main streets. It runs the length of the island of Manhattan. But hundreds of years ago it was known by the indigenous Lenape people as the Wickquasgeck Trail. It was a passageway that cut through stands of chestnut, poplar, and pine trees. Strawberries grew wild in fields along the route. Is there a metaphorical equivalent in your own life, Sagittarius? I think there is: a modest, natural path that you will ultimately build into a major thoroughfare buzzing with activity. Part of you will feel sad at the loss of innocence that results. But mostly you’ll be proud of the visionary strength you will have summoned to create such an important conduit. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The heavenly body known as 1986 DA is a near-Earth asteroid that’s 1.4 miles in diameter. It’s packed with 10,000 tons of gold and 100,000 tons of platinum, meaning it’s worth over five trillion dollars. Can we humans get to it and mine its riches? Not yet. That project is beyond our current technology. But one day, I’m sure we will find a way. I’m thinking there’s a smaller-scale version of this scenario in your life, Capricorn. You know about or will soon find out about a

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I just sort of drifted into it.” According to author Gore Vidal, “That’s almost always the explanation for everything.” But I hope this won’t be true for you anytime soon, Aquarius. You can’t afford to be unconscious or lazy or careless about what you’re getting yourself into. You must formulate a clear, strong intention, and stick to it. I don’t mean that you should be overly cautious or ultra-skeptical. To make the correct decisions, all you have to do is be wide awake and stay in intimate touch with what’s best for you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Members of the industrial band Skinny Puppy are upset with the U.S. military. They discovered that an interrogation team at America’s Guantanamo Bay detention camp tortured prisoners by playing their music at deafening volumes for extended periods. That’s why they sent an invoice to the Defense Department for $666,000, and are threatening to sue. Now would be a good time for you to take comparable action, Pisces. Are others distorting your creations or misrepresenting your meaning? Could your reputation benefit from repair? Is there anything you can do to correct people’s misunderstandings about who you are and what you stand for? ARIES (March 21-April 19): If a farmer plants the same crop in the same field year after year, the earth’s nutrients get exhausted. For instance, lettuce sucks up a lot of nitrogen. It’s better to plant beans or peas in that location the next season, since they add nitrogen back into the soil. Meanwhile, lettuce will do well in the field where the beans or peas grew last time. This strategy is called crop rotation. I nominate it as your operative metaphor for the next ten months, Aries. Your creative output will be abundant if you keep sowing each new “crop” in a fertile situation where it is most likely to thrive. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): May-

be your grandparents are dead, or maybe they’re still alive. Whatever the case may be, do you have a meaningful or interesting connection with them? Is there anything about their souls or destinies that inspires you as you face your own challenges? Or is your link with them based more on sentimentality and nostalgia? In the near future, I urge you to dig deeper in search of the power they might have to offer you. Proceed on the hypothesis that you have not yet deciphered some of the useful messages you can derive from how they lived their lives. Explore the possibility that their mysteries are relevant to yours. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The prolific American author James Fenimore Cooper (1789-1851) wrote 32 novels. In those pages, he crammed in almost 1,100 quotations from Shakespeare. What motivated such extreme homage? I suspect he regarded Shakespeare as a mentor, and wanted to blend the Bard’s intelligence with his own. I invite you to do something similar, Gemini. What heroes have moved you the most? What teachers have stirred you the deepest? It’s a perfect time to pay tribute in a way that feels self-empowering. I suspect you will benefit from revivifying their influence on you. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Was there an actual poet named Homer who wrote the ancient Greek epics the Iliad and the Odyssey? Or was “Homer” a fictitious name given to several authors who created those two master works? Whatever the case may be, we know that Homer plagiarized himself. The opening line of Book XI in the Iliad is identical to the opening line of Book V in the Odyssey: “Now Dawn arose from her couch beside the lordly Tithonos, to bear light to the immortals and to mortal men.” So should we be critical of Homer? Nah. Nor will I hold it against you if, in the coming days, you imitate some fine action or brilliant move you did in the past. It was great the first time. I’m sure it will be nearly as great this time, but in a different way.

Homework: Finish this sentence: “The one thing that really keeps me from being myself is _______.” Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

Jonesin’ Crossword

ACROSS 1 Tilting, poetically 7 Be worthwhile 10 Solemn column 14 Brangelina’s kid 15 Peeper 16 Chess closer 17 Potato products on the golf course? 19 Fit for the job 20 Gold-medal gymnast Korbut 21 Throw on the floor? 22 Some flooring choices 24 Head honcho, briefly 25 Bump on the head 26 “America’s Drive-In” chain 27 Potato products on the playground? 29 Wonder 32 Clan of hip hop fame 35 Gradation of color 36 Lose traction 37 Improvised 38 Kind of cord or saw 39 Touchy-___

40 “Family Guy” mom 41 Long tool 42 Grand expeditions 43 Channel that became Spike TV 44 Potato products on sprouting plants? 46 Use a lot of four-letter words 48 Free (of) 49 Oom-___ band 52 Bluff 54 Touchy subject? 55 Comic Johnson of “Laugh-In” 56 Title role for Julia 57 Potato products in computers? 60 Manage, as a bar 61 Sometimes called 62 Rob of Matchbox Twenty 63 Crossword puzzle rating 64 Calligrapher’s item 65 “It’s not much of a tail, but I’m sort of attached to it” speaker

matt jones

DOWN 1 Grp. 2 Fossil-yielding rock 3 Buzzwords 4 “M*A*S*H” star Alan 5 Right away 6 2002 horror film centered on a videotape 7 Simon of “Star Trek” 8 Sailor’s word 9 Sign of support 10 Certain Arab 11 Potato products used as a term of affection? 12 “___ cost you extra” 13 Concert souvenirs 18 Responsibility 23 Plug-___ 25 Lozenge ingredient 26 Borscht, e.g. 27 Art colony of New Mexico 28 Pickpocket, for one 30 Droop, like aging flowers 31 Ice cream brand 32 Goofy’s co-creator

33 Japanese noodle 34 Potato products that can’t take criticism? 36 Gets the message 38 Leonine noise 39 Last name in wabbit hunting 41 It represents temperature by color 42 Man of La Mancha 44 Necklace given after deplaning 45 ___ Rabbit 47 Late playwright Wasserstein 49 First-class 50 Face-valued, as stocks 51 “Siddhartha” author Hermann 52 Big celebration 53 Floor space measure 54 Do some selfcheckout work 55 Chips ___! 58 Tina’s ex 59 “Evita” narratory

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0686 chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

In Pipe Dreams Begins Responsibility Officer Alex muses on lightning and refugee kids

“

The quiet of the Gulf once again caught my attention and I considered how it didn’t care for this (or any one of my other problems), and that thought brought comfort as only true apathy can.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

I tried to force the flame into my pipe but I couldn’t. No matter the angle, I couldn’t fight the wind blowing in from the southwest and it was killing me, the scent of the cheap Captain Black cherry pipe tobacco teasing me with its moist goodness just snatching at my nose, reminding me of how close it was but how far at the same time. I began to wonder how sea ALEX captains dealt with this over the centuries, while also considering the legions of smokers that would have mocked me more for this choice of tobacco blend than for attempting the delicate process of setting its fire in these harshest of conditions. The choice was simple: It reminded me of my dad, and this being his pipe, it seemed not inappropriate. And as for the “how”—well, shit, apparently that’s up to each of us that choose to heat a briar-

wood in such an inhospitable a location. During this process, I kept my patience by distracting myself with the lightning strikes in the distance, because if there is one thing to take your mind off the 50-mile-per-hour winds from the south over the Gulf of Mexico, it’s the heat lightning storms above it and their beauty. We had learned today TEACH that the U.S. president had OK’d the deposit of 760 kids in the state of Tennessee and apparently we were to “just deal with it” in any form, shape or fashion they should encompass. The parents were pre-screened, but…wow? No notice, not for a single municipality or agency that would immediately be responsible for their health and well-being? Is this how we work? Is this the best we could do? God, I hoped not because this was

On The Beat

We Are Saving Mobile Lives 1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)

5425 Highway 153 423-805-4640 (Next to CiCi’s Pizza) cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga

26 • The Pulse • July 31-August 6, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

just sick when it comes to dealing with our tired, our poor, our huddled masses... especially when they were the guests of our most hospitable citizens. This manner of taking care of things, this method (or rather lack thereof) of dealing with the most vulnerable… It was another unpleasant reminder of how we worked as a government, no matter how noble the cause or “right” the thinking. Cops don’t get to think about the abandonment of folks, kids in particular—nor would we. I just hated knowing that our job had become all the more difficult again without so much as another wasted memo. Now they aren’t even going to do that much? Wow. The quiet of the Gulf once again caught my attention and I considered how it didn’t care for this (or any one of my other problems), and that thought brought comfort as only true apathy can. But I was still left to think as the minutes and hours passed by. I wasn’t feeling “lonely”, but I definitely felt alone at these thoughts. The pipe in my hands was

held steady but I waited for the work to begin, and sure enough, a form of fire finally took seed. I began pulling in the sweet smoke—but not inhaling it (lest I pass out and die) and thoughts of my father once again surrounded me as I drank in the sound of the distant thunder and the crash of the ocean that preceded it, and I counted myself lucky to have been born among these shores rather than away from them. Yes, these kids would be taken care of by my co-workers and the state of Tennessee, but when was enough “enough”? When would we at least acknowledge the problems? And what’s more, when would we quit exacerbating the existing ones? Mine is just a minor headache in the scheme of things, but the point still seemed valid. Don’t just sprinkle kids across the U.S. because it “can” absorb them; ask first for the best assets, or more specifically? Start doing your job. I’m just one man, but I’ve figured that much out. XOXOXOXOXO

MORE MONEY FOR YOUR GOLD! CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER

wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry! Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers! WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM

RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162

WAR EAGLE! ROLL TIDE! GEAUX TIGERS TY TODDY! GO STATE! GO RAZORBACKS COCKS! GO ‘DAWGS! GO ‘DORES! GO GA GO ‘CATS! WAR EAGLE! ROLL TIDE! GEA ‘EM! HOTTY TODDY! GO STATE! GO RAZ O-U! GO COCKS! GO ‘DAWGS! GO ‘DORE VOLS! GO ‘CATS! WAR EAGLE! ROLL TID GIG ‘EM! HOTTY TODDY! GO STATE! GO Z-Z-O-U! GO COCKS! GO ‘DAWGS! GO ‘D IS ‘CATS! COMING GO VOLS! GO WAR EAGLE! ROLL GERS! GIG ‘EM! HOTTY TODDY! GO STA BACKS! M-I-Z-Z-O-U! GO COCKS! GO ‘DA GO GATORS! GO VOL! GO ‘CATS! WAR E GEAUX TIGERS! GIG ‘EM! HOTTY TODDY RAZORBACKS! M-I-Z-Z-O-U! GO COCKS ‘DORES! GO GATORS! GO VOL! GO ‘CAT ROLL TIDE! GEAUX TIGERS! GIG ‘EM! HO STATE! GO RAZORBACKS! M-I-Z-Z-O-U! ‘DAWGS! GO ‘DORES! GO GATORS! GO V WAR EAGLE! ROLL TIDE! GEAUX TIGERS TY TODDY! GO STATE! GO RAZORBACKS

SCORE! THE SEC NETWORK

8 . 14 . 14

The SEC Network will have over 1,000 live events, including football, men’s and women’s basketball, baseball, softball, and more. Coming to Fi TV Silver and Fi TV Gold subscribers August 14, 2014.

Call 423-648-1372 or visit epbFi.com and make the smart move today.

chattanoogapulse.com • July 31-August 6, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

All pages: