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Feb 27-Mar 5

on the beat

Vol. 11 • No. 9

lidar love officer alex gets mad

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative




eyes of the


» p8

politics the big lie review off-kilter pop tech digital designer screen philomena

2 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin

THE BOWL: Physician musicians... It's 5 p.m. somehwere... Needling allowed

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Art Direction & Design Gary Poole

THE LIST: Todd Snider never met a story he didn't like

Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Mike Dobbs • Hayley Graham • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Brian King • Ernie Paik Gary Poole • Terry Stulce • Alex Teach


Editorial Interns Madeline Chambliss • Dea Lisica • Leith Tigges


Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow

Cover Photo Gordon Parks, Fort Scott, Kansas Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull


Major new exhibit at the Hunter is a coup for the museum By Hayley Graham

Features THEATER: Theatre Centre’s “Shrew” reimagined in 1960 Little Italy SCREEN: True story “Philomena” is a journey and a testament


Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware • Candice York

SPIRITS: Our man on the bar stool gets the scoop from Captain Morgan


NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: The perfectly off-kilter pop of Casper and the Cookies

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 • 423.265.9494 Website Email Calendar THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.




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Publisher & President Jim Brewer II






L S e CA ls TI AR Pu LI L W he PO L in T




PLAYING GOOD FOR FREE Somehow, somewhere, musicians need to be compensated By Ernie Paik

TERRY STULCE: Pants on fire alert: the UAW did not destroy Detroit ALEX TEACH: Busting the county commission for backing down on LIDAR

Love at first sight • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 3



Med Rock

Physician Musicians Haven’t we all wondered at one point or another about the secret lives of doctors? While he or she is touching you in intimate places or probing you with sharp objects, you’ve thought: “Who is this person?” Although your own practitioner may remain a mystery, now’s your chance to peek into the lives of Chattanooga’s favorite physicians—physician musicians, to be exact (those nimble fingers aren’t only skilled at poking, probing and prescribing!) and turn the tables, letting them squirm uncomfortably for a change while you vote for a winner of the Battle of the (Physician) Bands.


Med Rock: Battle of the (Physician) Bands will take place on Saturday, Mar. 1 at 6:30 p.m. at the Hush Hush, 2001 N. Chamberlain Ave. The event is not only for your entertaining pleasure; all proceeds will go to the Alliance Scholarship Fund for children whose parents are healthcare professionals. The bands battling for your votes are Double Trouble, Bluegrass Pharaohs, Dr. Brent Sanders, BandAnna, Pump Daddies and Still Runnin.’ To maintain order, Dr. Mark “Breezy” Brzezienski will emcee the event. There will be a complimentary beer and wine bar to help sweeten your votes (and loosen your wallets) and “funkadelic foods” will be available for purchase from the Terra Nostra Food Truck (10 percent of sales donated to the cause).

4 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

Note: According to the Med Rock poster, “This event is hot, but it is nonsmoking.” Tickets are limited and can be purchased online at Tickets: $25, Votes: $1. — Dea Lisica Happy Beer Birthday

It’s 5 p.m. Somewhere One year ago, Dave, Marsha, and Matt Sturm’s idea for an “upscale, yet quaint, non-threatening, beer bar and beer market,” was born. The proud owners named their baby company SturmHaus and brought it to its new home in the Fleetwood Coffee Company building on the corner of Houston and 11th. On Friday, Feb. 28, SturmHaus celebrates its first birthday and is having a party to commemorate the occasion. Starting at 5 p.m., a night full of beer, friends, laughter, door prizes, beer, and more beer will commence. All 14 taps will sell at $3 a pint and each customer will go home with a goodie bag: containing a SturmHaus glass. Known for a variety of packaged craft beers and imported brews, SturmHaus offers customers pints and singles in the bar, and growlers, bottles, and six-packs for those on the go. Their goal: “to maintain the freshest, most reasonably priced craft tap beer selection in Chattanooga.” Not to mention that SturmHaus is a non-smoking environment and provides a “smart way to enjoy your brew” with the aforementioned growlers. Growlers, or reusable glass bottles, provide customers a way to enjoy fresh draft beer that can last for up to three weeks unopened and three-to-five days when opened. SturmHaus sells growlers of varying sizes, and also allows customers to bring in their growlers to be filled, provided they are

clean. Don those party hats, warm up those vocal chords, say “cheers!” to SturmHaus’ first year, and don’t forget the infamous tag to “Happy Birthday”—“and many more.” SturmHaus, 1120 Houston St, #120. (423) 648-1120 or visit for more information. — Madeline Chambliss Acupuncture Happy Hour

Needling Allowed When soothing music and logging off from every social media network just can’t get rid of stress the way you need it to, The Center for Mindful Living’s Acupuncture Happy Hour is sure to take care of your built-up tension from the work week. Led by acupuncture specialist Yong Oh, the happy hour combines acupuncture with guided meditation to regain clarity and reduce stress. Following their latest acupuncture workshop on February 23, the next session will take place on Mar. 12 from 2 to 3 p.m. Based on the National Acupuncture Detoxification Protocol, the workshop consists of targeting two-to-five designated acu-points in each ear, a method known to relieve stress, reduce anxiety and improve sleeping habits. The hourlong workshop will consist of 20 minutes of acupuncture followed by a guided meditation session to take care of any lingering uneasiness from daily troubles. The workshop is free to members of The Center for Mindful Living, non-members will pay a fee of $20. Pre-registration for the class is highly recommended. The Center for Mindful Living, 1212 McCallie Ave. (423) 486-1279, — Leith Tigges



Saving Mobile Lives

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

Todd Snider

Never Met A Story He Didn't Like Todd Snider is on the happy back end of happy hour at a favorite East Nashville bar, talking about his new album Agnostic Hymns & Stoner Fables. “This record doesn’t come from good times,” Snider says. “I wanted to sound the way I feel, which sometimes means sounding like a broken soul.” On the 10 new songs, Snider doesn’t talk around the vulnerable part, or the angry part, or the part about how everything we’re taught about goodness and righteousness and capitalism, about God and family values winds up exploding into violence and chaos, wonder and longing. He might carry the mantle of “storyteller”—it’s what he titled his live record, after all—but Agnostic Hymns & Stoner Fables is anything but a nice, folk/Americana troubadour album. It’s not a nice anything.

It is jagged, leering, lurching and howling, and filled with unhappy endings both experienced and intimated: “It ain’t the despair that gets you, it’s the hope,” he sings in the album-closer, “Big Finish.” That Agnostic Hymns & Stoner Fables is also roaringly funny is tribute to Snider’s unique sensibilities, and to his standing as what Rolling Stone magazine calls “America’s sharpest musical storyteller.” Todd Snider Saturday, 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (behind the Choo Choo) (423) 266-4323,







Etta May

“The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee”

“The Taming of the Shrew”

• One of the funniest and sharpesttongued comedians working the Southern circuit, Etta May has long been a a fan favorite with her biting insights into Southern life, love and laziness. 7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233,

• A Broadway smash, the play centers on a fictional spelling bee set in a geographically ambiguous Putnam Valley Middle School. With audience participation. Really. Study hard. 7:30 p.m. • Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amincola Hwy. (423) 697-3246



Annie Sellick & the Hot Club of Nashville

Milele Roots

• One of the best singers you'll ever hear with one of the hottest bands to come out of Nashville, featuring the phenomenal guitar picking of Richard Smith. 8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

• Combine one of the hardest-working bands in Chattanooga with a loyal following in an intimate setting, and you have a recipe for a fantastic night of reggae-inflenced Americana rockn-funk as only the M-Roots can play. 10 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

• William Shakespeare’s Padua is now like Manhattan’s Little Italy in 1960 (think Moonstruck) and scored with familiar tunes by the likes of Louis Prima, Rosemary Clooney, and Tony Bennett. Love, Shakespeare-style. 8 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538,

DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY Hour Late, Deep Sleeze • The most happening live music club on Lee Highway helps you party all night long with the help of two great high-energy bands that will get you out on the dance floor and grooving. 9 p.m. • Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533,

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M-F 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday

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Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or profile—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills. If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse. Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to: • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 5


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To find more community meetings in your area, visit

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Terry Stulce

VW Circus and The Big Lie Pants on fire alert: the UAW did not destroy Detroit


URING THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF FEBRuary, the circus was in town in Chattanooga. There were a few lion tamers, a few sword swallowers—but mostly

there were lots of clowns. I am referring, of course, to the conflict over unionization at VW. Local clowns began the performance with a favorite Republican lie. Career Republican wannabe Robin Smith was the chief spokesperson for the “UAW Destroyed Detroit” lie. The decline of American automaking is a complex narrative. But with just a little more information, she would know that the chief culprit responsible for this decline was bad management. Let me reiterate for clarity. Bad management was the primary factor in the decline of the US auto industry—not unions. The UAW did not decide to build unsafe, gas-guzzling monstrosities that were nearly impossible to sell. Management decisions led to the production of automobiles that could not compete with VW, Honda, and Toyota. While foreign automakers were building economical, safe, attractive, and easy-to-drive cars, US car managers were counting their money, lazily resting on their laurels, and depending on the loyalty of American consumers. American consumers were loyal—but they were not stupid. On the principal of “never tell the truth if a lie serves you better”, the UAW Destroyed Detroit Lie was repeated over and over. Billboards

In Tennessee, worker exploitation is as American as apple pie. Wrap yourself in the flag, thump the Bible—and make sure you don’t have to pay a living wage.”

shouted it, political hacks, local yokels and Bob Corker repeated it. Republicans were even able to slip in one of their favorite gambits in the South, race baiting, by tying President Obama to unionization. Conservatives claim that they want to keep government out of our private lives—but it was Republican politicians who were butting into a private business matter. Right-wing bloviators representing the interests of Big Money began to show up to amplify the Big Lie. Make no mistake: These extremist groups with sweetsounding names like the Center for Worker Freedom have one objective in mind—keeping wages low for the benefit of their rich clients. Then the Teabilly Clowns showed up, claiming that unions are “unAmerican”. Gerald McCormick and Bo Watson threatened to cut off their noses to spite their faces, reminding me of the scene in “Blazing Saddles” when the African American sheriff holds himself hostage to escape a lynch mob. They threatened VW workers, saying if the workers voted to unionize, they would not approve any tax breaks for expansion, thus proving the point that Republicans never interfere in private business. Or perhaps not. After all the attendant fools had prepared the audience, the main attraction entered center ring. When Gary Casteel, union director for Region 8, complimented Sen. Bob Corker, saying that Corker “respected these workers’ right to make up their own

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minds”, our former mayor went nuts. There was more squawking and honking than a flock of Sandhill cranes. Corker made it clear that he did not respect workers’ right to choose a union. A decision to join the union would be catastrophic for the Chattanooga economy, he protested. He said that he had “insider information” that if workers rejected the union, VW would soon announce the expansion of the plant. Never mind that VW firmly denied Corker’s claim. Remember “never tell the truth if a lie serves you better”? Corker’s hatred and fear of the UAW was on full display. Could he still be holding a grudge because he was booed off the stage by UAW workers at the Spring Hill GM plant after he had voted against money to keep their plant open? Does Corker harbor an inner Chris Christie? His disregard of labor law is egregious. His solution for VW is for them to start their own union. Most knowledgeable labor lawyers agree with Thomas Kochan of MIT, who flatly states that company-sponsored unions are illegal. However, “the law” will not interfere with the Big Lie’s narrative. To those claiming that The UAW Destroyed Detroit Big Lie did not influence the vote: A version of it was repeated by anti-union employee Mike Jarvis in a story aired by a local TV station. He said, “Look at every company that’s went bankrupt or shut down or had an issue. What is

the one common denominator with those companies? UAW. We don’t need it.” Using this faulty logic, we could say that pilots are responsible for all crashes and flight problems because they “are the one common denominator.” Apologies to those pilots that ran into a surface-to-air missile. Bob King, the UAW president said, “It’s never happened before that a US senator, a governor and a leader of the state House of Representatives threatened a company and threatened the workers during a union election.” Welcome to the South, Bob. The good ol’ white boys had slave labor for more than 100 years. They became accustomed to low-cost labor. In Tennessee, worker exploitation is as American as apple pie. Wrap yourself in the flag, thump the Bible—and make sure you don’t have to pay a living wage. This fight is far from over. Stay tuned. Ooltewah resident Terry Stulce is a retired licensed clinical social worker, decorated combat veteran, and social activist. In 2006, he was a Democratic candidate for Congress in the 3rd District.

FINANCIAL DIRECTORS in Chattanooga, TN Provide and interpret financial information. Monitor and interpret cash flows and predict future trends. Develop financial management mechanisms to minimize financial risk. Send resume to Max Leverage Ventures, LLC 633 Chestnut Street, Suite 600 Chattanooga, TN 37450 • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

Forty-three Black Artists,

Millions of Stories

by Hayley Graham

photos courtesy of Hunter Museum of American Art

8 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

Major new exhibit at the Hunter is a coup for the museum


wo faces can be seen in the frame of Tony Gleaton’s photograph, “Hija Negra/Flor Blanca/Black Girl/White Flower (Mango Creek, Belize).” In the first, the deep, soulful gaze of a young, black woman with striking features and captivating eyes, is offset by a large white flower. The viewer is stunned by her beauty and captivated by her intensity. In the second, the reflection of the viewer’s own two eyes in the glass. This second set of eyes falls squarely on the first, and though it reflects this intense longing, this complex set of emotions so raw it evokes a welling up in the viewer, it recognizes the dissonance in the two experiences; the undeniable lack of commonality, and yet, a rich empathy that cannot be ignored. Herein lies the large draw for the current special exhibition at the Hunter Museum of American Art, on display from February 14 – May 25: The ability to create empathy despite a large chasm in shared experience between the subject and the viewer. In another photograph, “Fort Scott, Kansas,” (1950), Gordon Parks gives the viewer a glimpse of a well-pressed gentleman at a bar, eyes downcast, fingering a lit cigarette, with a deep resignation in his gaze as well as his stature. He leans into the bar and soaks in the trouble of his day, attempting to wash it away in the two drinks sitting on the bar behind him. His face tells the story of men and women spanning generations, not only of African Americans in the 1950s, but of people of all ethnicities, backgrounds and unique hardships over the course of time. This longing is familiar, and it doesn’t require a truly shared experience, but creates a feeling of kinship and relativity. “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond,” a collection organized by Virginia Mecklenburg, chief curator of painting and sculpture at the Smithsonian American Art Museum, presents the paintings, sculpture, prints and photography from 43 African American artists. These works reflect the ever-changing experience of African Americans, from the Harlem Renaissance to the civil rights era to the rich cultural landscape and heritage of Africa. They draw on a heritage unique to the artists and their subjects, yet their humanity is universally shared. In John Biggers’ “Shotgun, Third Ward #1 (1966),” children play in the street, as their parents focus on or shield their faces from the church as it burns in the distance. It’s striking in its dichotomy; the sweeping red paint that draws attention to the distress of this town and yet, the continuation and resilience of life in the eyes of the children. While it is a scene steeped in history, it is also a scene with great poi-

gnancy in its reflection of the human spirit. It exposes the strength and resilience of a people in turmoil and yet, does not shy away from their equivalent fragility. They are a community like any other; dealing with the fight of their time and place. “What makes this exhibition relevant to our community is that it addresses social concerns still present throughout the country, and at the same time, celebrates many of the major artistic achievements of the last 60 years in American art, regardless of race,” said Nandini Makrandi, chief curator at the Hunter Museum of American Art. These works feature scenes of not only the African American experience, but of the American experience as a whole. It is not an exhibit that points solely to a moment in time, but rather glimpses of the rich complexity of life through the lens of African American eyes over the span of many eras. “This exhibition allows us to understand profound change through the eyes of artists,” said Elizabeth Broun, The Margaret and Terry Stent Director of the Smithsonian American Art Museum. “These works by African American artists are vital to understanding the complex American experience.” This exhibition is unique, not only in its scope and subject matter, but in its sheer size and prestige. “A Smithsonian exhibition is huge in and of itself,” said Hannah Legg, director of communications at the Hunter, “and it’s a huge opportunity for the community. It’s a traveling exhibit, so even if you went to D.C. you wouldn’t be able to see it.” A typical special exhibition consists of a small group of pieces, but this one boasts nearly a hundred, selected entirely from the Smithsonian American Art Museum’s collection of African American art, giving museum patrons a great depth of work to enjoy. More than half of the works featured are being exhibited by the museum for the first time, including paintings by Benny Andrews, Loïs Mailou Jones and Jacob Lawrence, as well as photographs by Roy DeCarava, Gordon Parks and Marilyn Nance. Several of the artists in this exhibition also have works in the Hunter Museum’s permanent collection, such as Jacob Lawrence, Benny Andrews, Thornton Dial, Sam Gilliam, Richard Hunt and Loïs Mailou Jones. Collectively these pieces write a profound story of despair, humility, struggle, resilience, family and joy. “Visitors will be struck not only by the power of these artworks, but also by the variety of the pieces on display,” said Mecklenburg. “So many new movements and styles grew out of the tumult of the 20th century,

Earlie Hudnall, Jr., Hip Hop

» P10 • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

Art + Issues: Civil Rights, Wrongs, Judgments and Justifications

« P9 and these works reflect that diversity.” Tony Gleaton once described his art, saying, “My work examines our common elements and the disparities, which in making us different, also bind us together in the human condition.” Passing by stirring paintings of homeless gentlemen gathered around a fire, sharing in its warmth; no-named faces in a crowd in Penn Station all attempting to find their way; a segregated bar unequal in its service but not in its patrons’ motivations; a family of sharecroppers in a beautiful and upright state, despite clear fatigue; a photograph of a young father shielding his daughter in his coat, an American flag tucked behind his ear; and rounding on the two eyes in the deeply pigmented skin of Gleaton’s young girl. Her eyes give way to the thread that ties these pieces together. This history, depicted in these works, is not simply there to be remembered by those who struggled through the hardships, but by all who are touched by the events of a shared past and of a shared humanity. This is an exhibition of the American experience, and should not be overlooked.

February 27 | 6 p.m. Marcus Ellsworth, spoken-word artist, president of Tennessee Valley Pride and host of Wide Open Floor each month at Barking Legs, will explore civil rights movements in the black and LGBT communities historically and today.

Art + Issues: Diversity Is! Now Deal With It? March 20 | 6 p.m. Art + Issues will explore the ways we understand and engage with diversity in our community with UTC professors Dr. Bart Weathington, UC Foundation Professor in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, and Dr. Brian O’Leary, Department Head and Associate Professor of Psychology.

Art Wise: Distinguished Speakers at the Hunter Museum presents Virginia Mecklenburg March 27 | 6 p.m. The Hunter welcomes Smithsonian American Art Museum Chief Curator Virginia Mecklenburg. Mecklenburg, one of the curators of the current exhibition.

The Word, the Sound and the Image: Meditations on “Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era and Beyond” April 10 | 6 p.m. Join musician, DJ and spoken-word poet Christian Collier and other local performers as they bring the paintings in the special exhibition to new meaning and life, performing on themes that travel from the past to the present, from the paintings to the living soul.

Sound and Image: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights and Beyond May 1 | 6 p.m. Join UTC Adjunct Professor of Saxophone Clint Schmitt and Hunter curators as they explore the music and visions expressed in the current special exhibition “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era and Beyond.”

Theatrequest: Performances of Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights and Beyond

Renée Stout, The Colonel's Cabinet

10 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

May 22 | 6 p.m. For this year’s installation of audience favorite Theaterquest, talented teen playwrights and actors will perform original works inspired by the Hunter’s exhibit.



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Organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond exhibition features works by 43 black artists who explore the African American experience throughout the 20th century and celebrate the nature of American society. African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond is organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum with generous support from: Alston & Bird; Amherst Holdings, LLC; Diane and Norman Bernstein Foundation; Larry Irving and Leslie Wiley; William R. Kenan, Jr. Endowment Fund; Clarence Otis and Jacqui Bradley; PEPCO; The C.F. Foundation in Atlanta supports the museum’s traveling exhibition program, Treasures to Go. Additional funding for this exhibit has been provided by Kitty and Hacker Caldwell.

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 NEWLY REMODELED!  • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 11


Ernie Paik

Playing Real Good For Free Somehow, somewhere, musicians need to be compensated


he most I ever spent on a single concert ticket in Chattanooga—or anywhere, for that matter—was $75, to see Robert Plant and Alison Krauss at the Memorial Auditorium in 2008. It was worth every penny. The least I ever spent on a concert is, of course, zero dollars, dozens of times, enjoying free shows or the occasional comp; an honorable mention goes to a Lord T & Eloise show at Rhythm & Brews, where I potentially could have made money since the duo threw cash into the audience. Music has a price and a value, and they are two different things, not necessarily in alignment. An old William F. Buckley, Jr. quote comes to mind: “Life can’t be all bad when for ten dollars you can buy all the Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for ten years.” After seeing the garage-rock band The Intelligence at JJ’s Bohemia in 2009, I asked front man Lars Finberg about the unusually low price ($5) of their CDs; the low prices were due to his belief that in a few years, CDs might not even be around. Physical formats haven’t gone away, but they’re clearly in general decline; a recent Generator

honest music

The performing arts and recording arts are two different things, so now, it can be a dire situation for many recording artists.”

Research study predicts a $2 billion drop in physical media revenue over the next five years, while online streaming services will find tremendous growth. This isn’t necessarily good for artists, though, as Galaxie 500’s Damon Krukowski revealed in his

Pitchfork essay “Making Cents” that 5,960 Spotify plays of the Galaxie 500 song “Tugboat” yielded royalties of $1.05 (35 cents per member). Sure, Spotify is a great resource for music lovers, but it is a business; its CEO even said, “Our focus is all on growth.”

Don’t be surprised if Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google or Microsoft buys Spotify one day, and if you need a precedent, then simply look at what happened to, a similar free musicstreaming service, purchased by Apple in late 2009.

local and regional shows

The Winter Sounds with Okinawa and Sour Bridges! [$5]

Thursday, Feb 27


Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Sun, March 2 @ 7pm : Old Time Travelers [FREE]

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 *

12 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

In 2012, an intern for NPR’s All Songs Considered named Emily White started a music-sphere poop-storm with an unintentionally incendiary essay, titled “I Never Owned Any Music To Begin With,” about being an avid music fan yet only having purchased 15 CDs in her entire life, mostly listening to Spotify or copied digital files. She closed the essay by asking, “All I require is the ability to listen to what I want, when I want and how I want it. Is that too much to ask?” My instinctual curmudgeonly internal response was to shake my rake while mumbling profanely about entitled Millennials, but the essay bluntly illustrates the reality that many people just aren’t used to paying for music. Years ago, bands would tour in order to support an album, but now, career musicians must increasingly depend on performance or merchandise (clothing, beer koozies, beard shavings, etc.) revenue; the performing arts and recording arts are two different things, so now, it can be a dire situation for many recording artists. I have seen several amazing shows at Nightfall, Chattanooga’s summer-centered weekly free outdoor concert series, and it warms my heart to think about its 2006 Sun Ra Arkestra show, seeing people (children, parents, bikers, etc.) who probably would not have otherwise paid for such a show, getting a taste— perhaps their first—of world-class free jazz insanity, and enjoying it. It’s hard to compete with free, though, and local venues have adjusted accordingly, with some even taking advantage of the postNightfall crowd. Having a sustainable music career is difficult, but having one that is fulfilling, while not necessarily paying all the bills, is a more reasonable and meaningful goal. So, I offer this to musicians and promoters: be creative and flexible (passthe-hat arrangements can work!) and understand your audience’s expectations and possible mental barriers; some may gladly buy a $10 gourmet burger but balk at a $10 admission. And to audiences: I don’t want to preach about morality or what is or isn’t stealing. But, when you receive a gift, at least what is owed is an expression of gratitude, and that expression can come in many different forms, including: kind words, a Facebook “Share,” or cash.

New Local Release MiniRoundup

Dine-In • Carry Out • Delivery

Segaworms (formerly known as Segamented Worms, segamentedworms. adopts the invented genre of Soilcore, influenced by dirtdigging insects, pestilence and other unpleasantness, on its latest album Polychaetes. One of many projects by multi-instrumentalist Joseph J. Micolo III, Segaworms offers knob-twiddling electronics, crunchy apocalyptic noise and highfrequency ear-bleeding tones; if viruses could scream a battle cry and robots could whimper in pain, this is what they would sound like.


1 Large Pizza with Premium Mozzarella Cheese & 1 Topping, and your choice of Jet’s Wings or Boneless Chicken.



Expires 12/31/14. Chattanooga location only. Extra or premium toppings, tax and delivery additional. Must present coupon. Prices subject to change without notice.


Fans of doom metal may find Red Necklace ( and its self-titled debut album on Failed Recordings/Inherent Records, available on cassette and as a digital download, to be up their alley. It sports monolithic heavy sludge power chords from guitarist/singer Bill Robinson, who alternates between a metalgrowl and throat-shredding vocals, and brutal poundings from drummer Patrick Wilkey, balanced with cool-down sections before further violent tumbles down the mountains of madness.

1 Large Pizza with Premium Mozzarella Cheese & 1 Topping, and a Large Salad. (Salad Choice: Antipasto, Chef, Garden, or Greek)



Expires 12/31/14. Chattanooga location only. Extra or premium toppings, tax and delivery additional. Must present coupon. Prices subject to change without notice. • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

Chattanooga Live


MUSIC CALENDAR The Winter Sounds

Milele Roots




FRI 10p
















THUrsday 2.27 “Pickin’ at the Post” with bluegrass bands 5 p.m. American Legion Post, Trenton, Ga. (706) 657-5275 Red Bank Bluegrass Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 842-5919, Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 301 Manufacturers Blvd. (423) 702-7300, Annie Sellick & the Hot Club of Nashville 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Channing Wilson, Don Gallardo 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Battle of the Bands Finale 9 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, The Winter Sounds, Okinawa, Sour Bridges 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pwy. (423) 468-4192,

14 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 • DJ Puddin 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, Opportunities 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

friday 2.28 Charley Yates 4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pike. (423) 332-6201 Johnny Cash Tribute Show 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, Danny Sample/Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, Mike Phillips 7 p.m. Becky’s Restaurant and Spirits, 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873, BeckysRestaurantAndSpirits Jericho Brass Band Concert 7 p.m. North River Civic Center, 1909 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924 Brady Toops 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Cowboy Gospel Jubilee 7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church, 3040 Blythe Rd. Cleveland. (423) 476-7936, Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pike. (423) 866-3252, Josh Lewis 8 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Scenic City Soul Review 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775, Statue of Liberty 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 DJ Dubkitten 9 p.m. Images, 6505 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210, Wasted 9:30 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 Front Porch Junkies 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, Mighty Sldeshow, Deep Sleeze 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Milele Roots 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

Husky Burnette 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240,

saturday 3.1 Johnny Cash Tribute Show 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, James Leg, Little Mascara 5 p.m. Mayfields All Killer No Filler, 2841 Dayton Blvd. (423) 486-1379, Gold City, The McKamey’s, The Greesons, The Inspirations, Karen Peck & New River 6:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, The Soil & the Sun, Young Buffalo 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Sonia Leigh, Drunk on Crutches, Mama’s Blue Dress 7:30 p.m. Gem Theatre, 114 N. Wall St., Calhoun, Ga. (706) 625-3132, Dana & Susan Robinson

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

MUSIC CALENDAR Shovels and Rope

Sonia Leigh

Thursday, February 27: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, February 28: 9pm Statue Of Liberty (from Nashville) Saturday, March 1: 10pm Tommy Womack Tuesday, March 4: 7pm 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, Todd Snider 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, Scenic City Soul Review 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775, DJ Dubkitten 9 p.m. Images, 6505 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210, Hour Late, Deep Sleeze 9 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Sullivan Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, Who’s Bad: A Tribute to Michael Jackson 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Microdahts, Kids from Across the Street 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Tommy Womack 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Daze Like These 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240,

sunday 3.2 Earl Miller Memorial Concert Series 3 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Cir. (423) 877-6447, Old Time Travelers 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pwy. (423) 468-4192, Sunday Jam 7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 634-1074 Shovels and Rope, Hurray for the Riff Raff 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, DJ Spicolli 9 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, DJ Dubkitten 9 p.m. Images, 6505 Lee Hwy., (423) 855-8210, Elkmilk, England of 1819 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

monday3.3 Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482

Babershop Harmony Group 7 p.m. All Saints Academy, 310 East 8th St. (423) 876-7359. Big Band Night 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, The Dave Walters Jazz Quartet 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4371, Marimba Madness Lee University Humanities Building, Squires Recital Hall, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8240,

tuesday 3.4 DJ X’Phakder 6 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Lee University Graduate Recital Featuring Ruobing Zhang 6 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8240, Justified 6:30 p.m. Bimbo’s Restaurant, 7606 Rhea County Hwy. Dayton. (423) 775-6353 Heart Strings for Hope 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156, Pierce Pettis 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Ben Friberg Jazz Group 8 p.m. The Flying Squirrel, 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980, Uptown Big Band Swing Party 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Open Mike with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996,

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

wednesday 3.5 Concordia University Chicago’s Kapelle Choir Concert 7 p.m. First Lutheran Church, 2800 McCallie Ave. (423) 629-5990, Lee University Senior Project Featuring Alyssa Turner 8 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8240,

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

house ground wagyu beef burger • fries $10


celebrating delicious years!

m-th 5-9:30pm • fri-sat 5-10pm 1278 market st • 423.266.4400 • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • Brian King

Perfectly Off-Kilter Pop Casper and the Cookies are an actual band making actual music


with Sierra Elizabeth Ferrell SATURDAY • MARCH 1 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $15 ADVANCE • $18 DAY OF


Casper and the Cookies Dingbats (Wild Kind Records)



Athens-based pop band Casper and the Cookies have recently released their fourth full album with the intriguing title Dingbats attached in order to telegraph meaning and perhaps intent to the less-informed listener, or conversely, to settle all bets about the Elephant 6 off-shoot band’s latest platter. Yes, indeed, the group led by husband-and-wife team Jason NeSmith and Kat Stanton have fashioned another hyper-kinetic collection of mildly quirky, off-kilter songs ranging in subject matter from the perils of amphetamine use (“Amphetamines”) to post-modern cultural ennui (“When the Moon Was in Command”), placing this re-

16 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

Jason and Kay seem more intent on aligning themselves with an earlier pop landscape that includes groups like the dBs, Let’s Active, and the B-52s rather than the sometimes more self-conscious Athens bands of the ’90s.”

cord firmly in line with their previous releases and in a sort of relative grouping with other, like-minded Southern pop groups. However, don’t automatically lump this band in with Of Montreal just yet. Casper and the Cookies have a sense of fun that many of the more psychedelically inclined Athens groups just never possessed. In fact, Jason and Kay seem more intent on aligning themselves with an earlier pop landscape that includes groups like the dBs, Let’s Active, and the B-52s rather than the sometimes more selfconscious Athens bands of the ’90s. This is a striking difference, and it’s one that can result in charges of artistic triviality, but I would disagree. This band is nothing if not sticklers about detail, and the sound of the recording is terrifically full and precise. The album is bookended by two of the band’s most ambitious re-

cordings ( “Improvvisamente Ardito” and the aforementioned “When the Moon Was in Command”) which stretch the group in ways both technically and aesthetically not previously hinted at. But in between, the Cookies manage their usual stock in trade: highly melodic pop and rock songs with attention to skittering rhythms and always ace musicianship. In other words, Casper and the Cookies are not narcissistically holding a mirror up to themselves and pondering the inner workings of their dark psyches. Instead, they are looking for the perfect pop song as defined by themselves. Trivial? Never! Hopefully, Casper and the Cookies find old audiences receptive to their newest offering and new fans ready to hear an actual band make actual music, which is not indebted to some past musical genre and updated for the iPhone crowd. Carry on, Cookies!

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6001 International Drive • 423-855-4981 •

ARTS LEADERSHIP AWARD 2014 HONORING FOR TICKETS: 423-756-2787 $35 per person

TUESDAY MAY 13 • $32 Advance • $35 Day Of

Tickets On Sale Friday @ 10AM • Box Office • 521-2929

RUTH HOLMBERG TUESDAY, MARCH 11th 5:30-7:30pm THE SPACE @ WAREHOUSE ROW 1110 Market Street • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 17


john devore

An Abiding Faith True story “Philomena” is a journey and a testament


T’S HARD TO BE SURPRISED BY any of the terrible things done by the Catholic Church. This is an organization that has existed for centuries, across some of the world’s greatest political and cultural upheavals, and given that they have managed to change with times while maintaining even a semblance of their original messages is nothing short miraculous.

18 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

Of course, as society changes and loosens its grip on strict dogmatic morality, certain parts of the church will always look archaic and barbaric through the lens of the present. The church will never adapt as quickly as the rest of the world, and as a result people will continue to be hurt by practitioners of the faith, in the name of God and the defense of the Gospels. Whether or not a person should be blamed for genuine belief in dubious charity, despite the appalling consequences that seem evident to a modern outsider, is at the heart of “Philomena,” an Oscarnominated film that deserves all the praise it has received. The breadth of subject matter found in this year’s nominees is a testament to how varied film is as a medium. Anything can be a good film, given the proper attention. “Philomena” is based on the true story of Philomena Lee

(Judi Dench), an elderly woman searching for her son over the course of 50 years. It was the subject of a book by Martin Sixsmith, a journalist played in the film by Steve Coogan. Fifty years prior to the film’s opening, Philomena was dropped off at Sean Ross Abbey in Roscrea, Ireland by her father because she had become pregnant out of wedlock. This was common practice at the time—“wayward girls” were given to the nuns by parents too embarrassed to manage them. The girls were forced to deliver their children without the care of a physician or pain medication, resulting in the deaths of many of the babies and mothers, some at ages as young as 14. This pain and threat of death was considered

penance for sexual immorality, a sin that was meant to follow them forever. In return for their care, the girls worked at the abbey to pay off their debts while their children were put up for adoption (or sale, depending on your perspective). Most of these adoptions were made by Americans. The mothers had no say in who their children left with and were given no information on their whereabouts later on. The majority of the film focuses on Philomena’s search with Martin for her lost son. We spend ample time with the two, an odd couple if there ever was one, adding muchneeded levity to a film that

Throughout the film, despite the shocking revelations of just how far the nuns were willing to go to hide their practices, Philomena doesn’t lose her faith.” is nearly too painful to watch at times. If it weren’t for the charm and simplicity of Philomena, and the performance by Dench, the film might easily fall into a hackneyed, tearjerker category. But because of the cast, and the careful direction by director Stephen Frears, the film rises above the genre into something more substantial. Of particular importance are the themes of faith in the film. Sixsmith is a “recovering Catholic”, one who finds sense in the absence of belief and is intensely angered by the actions of the nuns in Roscrea. Philomena is quiet, reserved, and hopeful. She refuses to blame the nuns, accepting that the decisions were made not out of malice but genuine belief in charity. The nuns were unequivocally wrong in their behavior, but what happened in the past is not Philomena’s concern. She is only interested in finding her son. Throughout the film, despite the shocking revelations of just how far the nuns

were willing to go to hide their practices, Philomena doesn’t lose her faith. She sees the church as it is, refusing to compromise her belief system for the sake of flawed disciples. Philomena is portrayed as an uncarved block, an innocent unstudied and uncouth. She loves dime romance novels and is fascinated with the simple pleasures of an American buffet breakfast. But she also understands the reality of the world, far beyond the educated and snide Martin. She flows like water over the rocks, while Martin pushes against the current. “Philomena” will not be Best Picture, and Judi Dench will likely not win for Best Actress, due to the stacked competition this year, but like all the nominees it’s worth a look. It is most certainly one of the best films of the year. Philomena Director: Stephen Frears Starring: Judi Dench, Steve Coogan MPAA Rating: PG-13 Running Time: 98 minutes

William Shakespeare’s Padua is now like Manhattan’s Little Italy in 1960 (think Moonstruck) and the play is scored with familiar tunes by the likes of Louis Prima, Rosemary Clooney, and Tony Bennett. This comedy about the feisty Kate and the determined Petrucio is a love story for the ages! February 28 is Sold Out. Friday, March 14 is Girls’ Night Out sponsored by Brewer Media • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

“One of America’s Top 101 places to visit”

Arts & Entertainment

THUrsday 2.27


March 8-9, 15-16 Music Food Fun for the whole family! Be sure to get your Rock City Annual Pass for year-round access to all the fun! sponsored by

in partnership with

Etta May

Annie Sellick & the Hot Club of Nashville

National Geographic, USA 101

for more info call 706.820.2531


Five Day Painting Workshop with Hollis Dunlap 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main Street, Suite 107. (423) 266-2712 Art After School: The Shape of Things 4:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, Camp Chair Traveler: SUP the Yukon with Ben Friberg 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, Art + Issues: Civil Rights, Wrongs, Judgments and Justifications 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, Chattanooga Women’s Leadership Institute 2014 IMPACT Leadership Dinner with Connie Chung 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Jade Owl Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Nicola Joyner Purple Owls Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, “Mystery of the Nightmare

20 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Etta May 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, Annie Sellick & the Hot Club of Nashville 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

friday 2.28 3 Daisies Workshop 2 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Chattanooga International Film Music Festival 5 p.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 266-4121, Chattanooga Zoo Cocktails for Conservation 6 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319, Chattanooga Nature Center Family Night Hike 6:45 p.m. Chattanooga Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-9582, “Mystery of Flight 138” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Karen Tarlton’s Starry Night Over City Scape Workshop

7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, Winter Spruce Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Jericho Brass Band 7 p.m. North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., Hixson Etta May 7, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd., (423) 629-2233, Remembering Versaille: A Fashion Revolution 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Hall, 200 E. MLK Blvd., (423) 266-8658, “Go, Dog. Go!” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amincola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 Ballroom Dance Classes for the Beginner 7:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic Dance Center, 4200 N. Access Road, Hixson UTC Spring Piano Festival 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4371, “The Taming of the Shrew” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, “Almost, Maine” 8 p.m. StageWorks of Cleveland, Cleveland State Community College, 3535 Adkisson Dr. NW, Cleveland.

saturday 3.1 Chattanooga International Film Music Festival 9 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 266-4121, Moccasin Bend Hikes 9:30 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, Red Wolf Program 11 a.m. Chattanooga Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-9582, Blue Blazes Hike Noon. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, Live from the Met: “Prince Igor” Noon. Carmike Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375, “Go, Dog. Go!” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, Skullduggery 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-9582, “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding”

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Chattanooga Symphony: Hooray for Hollywood

Tyrone Davis

5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Walking Bridge Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100 (423) 602-8580, Civil War: The Untold Story 7 p.m. Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park, LaFayette Rd. and Battlefield Pkwy, Fort Ogelthorpe, GA. (706) 866-9241, Windswept Dreams-Original by Megan Duncanson 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, Chattanooga Symphony & Opera: Hooray for Hollywood/“Singin’ in the Rain” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS, “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amincola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 “The Taming of the Shrew” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, Alexandria presents “Ancient Elements & Seasons” 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

“Mystery of The Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Stand-Up Comedy: Tyrone Davis 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

sunday 3.2 Free First Sunday Noon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, “Go, Dog. Go!” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amincola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 4th Annual Piano Festival UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4371, Chattanooga Symphony & Opera: Hooray for Hollywood 3 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS, Family Friendly- Sunshine Sailboat Nicole Joyner 4 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580,

Abstract Field Workshop 6 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, Live, Laugh and Love with Linda 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233,

monday3.3 Read Across America Celebrates Mo Willems at Northgate Library 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635, Red and White Owl Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, The Dave Walters Jazz Quartet 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4371, Marimba Madness At Lee University 8 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland.

tuesday 3.4 Mozilla Work Night 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310,

Build a Basic Terrarium Workshop at The Chattery 6 p.m. Chattanooga Workspace, 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750, Lee University Graduate Recital Featuring Ruobing Zhang 6 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. Set in Stone Concrete Design House - The Nightly Build class series 6 p.m. Set in Stone, 306 W. Main St., Suite 114. Beginner and Newcomer Gardening Class at UTC Extension Campus 6:30 p.m. University of Tennessee Extension, 6183 Adamson Cir. Green Tree Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Heart Strings for Hope Benefit Concert featuring Sheryl Crow 7 p.m Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 Mardi Gras Mask 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, Concordia University Chicago’s Kapelle Choir Concert 7 p.m. First Lutheran Church, 2800 McCallie Ave., (423) 629-5990, Lee University Symphonic Band Concert 7:30 p.m. Lee University

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth”

World Reviewer


Open Weekends NOW!

Aerial Adventure.

423.821.2544 • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

Arts & Entertainment


“It’s great to start working, to stop thinking and start doing, it’s a purifying experience.”

Live from the Met: “Prince Igor”

- Amanda Brazier

4 Bridges 2014 Poster Artist

Conn Center, 1053 Church St. SE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8340

wednesday 3.5 Open House Days at Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453, Build A Basic Terrarium Class 6 p.m. Chattanooga WorkSpace, 302 W 6th St. (423) 822-5750 “Prince Igor”: Met Opera (Encore) 6:30 p.m. Carmike Majestic 12 Cinema, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375, Kim Eckert Book Signing Party 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Bridge Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, chattanooga Peacock Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

ongoing “Impressions” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat

1 - 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, “Satan’s Breath” 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. Mon-Sat 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, “Pictures Tell The Story” 10 a.m, -5 p.m. Mon-Fri Noon – 4 p.m. Sat Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658, “Good For You: Healthy Food on the Run” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon-Sat Noon-5 p.m. Sun Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, “Poster Child: Selections from the 4 Bridges Poster Artists” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. Tues-Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, “Muse of the African American Spirit” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat Noon – 5 p.m. Wed, Sun 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. Thurs Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil

Rights Era and Beyond” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat Noon – 5 p.m. Wed, Sun 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. Thurs Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, “Michele Sege: Scuptures and Drawings” 9:30 a.m. – 7:30 p.m. Mon-Fri 1-4 p.m. Sat, Sun Cress Gallery, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts., (423) 425-4269, “Photographic Prints” 8 a.m.- 5:30 p.m. Mon-Fri 8 a.m. – noon Sat Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 894-7112, Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly. The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125, chattanoogaghosttours. com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

22 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

for the love of art



april 11-13 2014


janis hashe

Kate, Petruchio and Louis Prima Chattanooga Theatre Centre’s “Shrew” reimagined in 1960 Little Italy


NE OF THE TRULY REMARKABLE THINGs about the genius of Mr. William Shakespeare (celebrating, by the way, his 450th birthday this April) is that his plays can be set in multiple eras and still make sense, be funny, be tragic, be dagger-sharp about human motivations and follies.

The Chattanooga Theatre Centre opens an example of this on Friday with a “reinterpretation” of one of WS’s most popular plays, “The Taming of the Shrew.” As detailed on the CTC’s site: “Our production will have you singing and dancing in the aisles as the story’s setting of Padua is transported to a neighborhood not unlike Manhattan’s Little Italy in 1960 and scored with familiar tunes by the likes of Louis Prima, Rosemary Clooney and Tony Bennett.” Scott Dunlap directs, which gives us high hopes for this production, because he’s shown himself a past master at offkilter comedy. He’s cast that fine actor Jim Eernisse as the ultramacho-with-a-secret-heart-ofgold Petruchio, and high-spirited Lizzie Chazen (so good in “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson”) as seriously untamable Kate, and in theatre, casting is 90 percent of the show, so watch out for theatrical fireworks. In keeping with the CTC’s 90th season project of presenting favorite shows from seasons past, “Shrew” was previously done at the center in both 1934 and 1966, and again according to the site, “has the distinction of being the earliest production in our 90 year history to be re-

“ Kate and

Petruchio are each other’s equals and neither wishes to be ‘tamed,’ to conform to what is expected of them.” vived this season.” “Taming of the Shrew” has run into political correctness objections during the last few decades, centered primarily on Kate’s final speech, in which she promises to “place her hand beneath her husband’s foot.” But this is Shakespeare at his slyest. If you study the play, or even better, see an astounding production of it such as ACT’s in the 1976, with Marc Singer as Petruchio (still available as a PBS “Great Performance”), and

you’ll get that the playwright who more than any other “invented the human” is not so unsubtle. Kate and Petruchio are each other’s equals and neither wishes to be “tamed,” to conform to what is expected of them. Not only is “Shrew” the classic battle of the sexes, but its subplots, involving Kate’s little minx of a sister, Bianca, her many suitors and their wacky attempts to woo her, plus numerous characters pretending to be someone they’re not, make for much extended hilarity. The play is also a great gateway drug into the world of Shakespeare. For those who just cannot face three hours of “Hamlet”, or even “As You Like It”, “Shrew” offers an introduction to exactly why an old Elizabethan guy is still regarded with the awe he is. Our recommendation? Hie thee to the CTC while the hieing is good and see this show. And while you’re there, make a donation to support one of the city’s treasures, the Chattanooga Theatre Centre. “The Taming of the Shrew” 8 p.m. Feb. 28, 29 (and through Mar 16) Chattanooga Theatre Centre, MainStage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 23


rich bailey

Return of the Native Web Designer Justin Kropp comes back to a new tech future


F YOU’RE A WEB DESIGNER, A TYPICAL career path leads away from your hometown, even a medium-size mecca like Chattanooga. And if you’re really good, it may lead to plying your trade in faraway places like Portland and Berlin. It’s a new thing to see that path leading back, but that’s what happened for Justin Kropp. After graduating from UTC with a BFA in graphic design in 2003, he worked in Atlanta, Birmingham, Baltimore, Portland and Berlin. Last year, he moved back to Chattanooga to join the growing technology and startup community. “I started to see Chattanooga in the press a lot more and thought there was a good opportunity to do some good things, and that now my hometown could teach me a few things as well,” Kropp says. “There is no more or no less going on here creatively from a tech standpoint than a lot of big cities. We just don’t have a reputation yet. And there’s still, I think, a stigma that comes from Chatta-

Kropp was the opening act for the out-of-town headliner at Code & Creativity, the social talk series aimed at web designers, graphic designers and web developers.”

Learning Working giving This is the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 175. Connecting Chattanooga for more than 100 years.

24 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

nooga being in the South—’Oh, it’s cute that you guys have a startup community.’ Maybe it was cute a few years ago, but it’s not cute anymore. We’re serious, and there’s a lot of great things being done here.” Kropp designs for interactive user interfaces in Chattanooga for San Francisco-based Automattic, the maker of WordPress blogging software. His team of 27 people is spread across the globe. “Almost the entire company—I would say 95 percent—is distributed. That’s what allowed me to pick where I wanted to live,” he says. “It’s a great model and I think more and more businesses are moving toward that, or at least understanding the value, given the right culture at the company. It takes the right culture for that kind of model to succeed.” This week, Kropp was the opening act for the out-of-town headliner at Code & Creativity, the social talk series aimed at web designers, graphic designers and web developers. Steph Troeth, who works with MailChimp as a consultant, flew in from the United Kingdom to lead an interactive session on storytelling in user experience design, which is also the topic of a book she is writing. Kropp spoke about the designer’s toolbox, which he says is in a constant state of flux, created by the need for constant product innovation and the web industry’s use of data to drive design decisions. Until four or five years ago, he used the same handful of tools that every other designer used: PhotoShop, Illustrator, InDesign, paper and pencil. The process of working with a client was similarly uncomplicated: meet to understand the project, create exploratory concepts, finalize a design, then either print it on paper or code and launch a website. Now both tools and process are vastly different. “Those four or five tools I would use for every project have now turned into probably 24 different things, minimum,” he says. “And now my process is all over

the place, backwards and forwards. There’s no finished thing anymore. A web site is never finished. You can edit it, revise it, take it down, relaunch it. It’s a living thing.” He is both excited and a little scared by this relentless churn. “Everything is out on the table and ripe for disruption,” he says, which is a good thing, but, “It seems like every month there’s a new tool, a new framework, a new whatever to make our process more efficient, to automate things. It’s exciting, but my fear is that what I do as a designer is now being turned into almost manufacturing.” Automated tools speed up design to serve the unrelenting pressure on companies to release a “minimum viable product” as fast as possible so users can start interacting with it at the earliest possible moment and developers can find and fix problems ASAP to keep users engaged. But less time means less design. “Just make it work, make it look OK, get it out there and we’re going to work with users to finish the design,” he describes the process. But there’s a problem in “collaborating” that way with users. “They then become data,” he adds. “We want data to help us make some better decisions moving forward. The whole cycle just feels a little cold at times. The price we pay is this sense that this interactive experience, this app, this website was manufactured.” Which makes it more important than ever, he says, for designers to remember the point of their work. “We can become drunk on process and in love with our tools, but we shouldn’t be, because we’re not designing or building things for tools or process,” he says. “It’s all about people. We’re designing for people to use these things.” The next Code & Creativity will be in April. For more information, visit • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 25






you are cordially invited to a

Night of Faith

with Dr. Fred Price at our new state-of-the-art worship facility.

Sponsored by Dr. Michael Chitwood

ICCM Celebration Church 6425 lee highway, chattanooga, tn • 423.296.8215

26 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

March 7, 2014 - 7:00 P.M.

Spirits Within

mike dobbs

Conversation With The New Captain Our man on the bar stool gets the scoop from Captain Morgan White Rum


S HAS BEEN MENTIONED BEFORE IN THESE pages, I’m a big fan of Captain Morgan Rum. Over the decades, I think I’ve examined almost every tasteful position of its possibilities. And for those that aren’t hip to the jive, the Captain comes in more than just the Original Spiced Rum. Oh yeah, he’s way too sly to sit slothily by and play the same ol’ tune. Some of his many personas are Black, Private Stock, Lime, Silver, Coconut and now the new kid on deck...White. Over the weekend, I was able to sit down and have a chat with Captain Morgan White Rum and discuss his recent unveiling. Mike Dobbs: So—you’re new around here. How did you find yourself in this position? Captain Morgain White: Well, the folks at my label were looking for something a little different than the other guys in the livery and we went through distillation after distillation. We did that five times before they put me in a white oak barrel for a year and let me figure out the rest. So I was given some artistic license, which is nice. MD: That’s a good freedom to have. What did you come up with to make yourself stand out from the other guys you tour with? CMW: I tell ya, it wasn’t easy. They’re all so good at what they do. I wanted to show up with something slightly different to help round them out. They have

With a piña colada, I put a deeper beat to that one because I’m made with cane molasses. It gets a little nutty.”


Locallyowned ownedsince since 1961 Locally owned since 1961 1961



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thumpin’ vanilla base? We’re off the chain. You gotta try it out! MD: So you’re pretty diverse. CMW: I’m rum. So yeah, I blend in. MD: Say, I noticed you’re already getting a little celebrity status. Does the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue ring a bell? Chrissy Teigen…not bad! CMW: (laughs) She knows good taste. And check it out: 96 calories. Pretty important for what she does. MD: Well, thanks for hanging out with me, Captain. Mind if I pour another? CMW: Cheers!

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way, with a pina colada, I put a deeper beat to that one because I’m made with cane molasses. It gets a little nutty. MD: Nutty as in flavor. CMW: Yeah. But, you wouldn’t know that by looking at me. Check out how clear. MD: And you’re 80 proof. CMW: Smooth 80 proof, baby! MD: How do you get along with cola? I know it’s been opening for other rums quite a while. Does it flow with your new style? CMW: Aw, man, we’re having a blast! A little lime twist and my

their own flavor. I’m a different option, if you will. Y’know, I bring a little different mix into the show. I like to stir it up some. Like when I get into a mojito, I just go all smooth...I like to toss in some sweet notes of coconut…maybe a little of that Caribbean fruitiness at the bridge. MD: It sounds like you’re having a good time! Do you ever get into any of the old classics? CMW: Oh, yeah! I like mixing it up with pina colada. The other day we were… MD: Getting caught in the rain? CMW: Yeah, funny, man. Any-

Captain Morgan Black Spiced Rum

Captain Morgan Silver Spiced Rum

Captain Morgan Private Stock Rum

A darker, bolder spiced rum, crafted with black strap rum for a deliciously smooth finish. Try it on the rocks or in one of our many classic cocktails.

A distinctive blend of rich white rum and tropical spice. It has a smooth, well-rounded taste with sweet vanilla character that is lighter and dryer than our original blend.

Made from the finest mellow island spice. The Private Stock Rum is perfect for sipping on the rocks with just a twist of lime.

@athenschatt • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

rob brezsny

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Avery, a character in Anne Michaels’ novel The Winter Vault, has a unique way of seeing. When he arrives in a place for the first time, he “makes room for it in his heart.” He “lets himself be altered” by it. At one point in the story he visits an old Nubian city in Egypt and is overwhelmed by its exotic beauty. Its brightly colored houses are like “shouts of joy,” like “gardens springing up in the sand after a rainfall.” After drinking in the sights, he marvels, “It will take all my life to learn what I have seen today.” Everything I just described is akin to experiences you could have in the coming weeks, Pisces. Can you make room in your heart for the dazzle? ARIES (March 21-April 19): The battles you’ve been waging these last ten months have been worthy of you. They’ve tested your mettle and grown your courage. But I suspect that your relationship with these battles is due for a shift. In the future they may not serve you as well as they have up until now. At the very least, you will need to alter your strategy and tactics. It’s also possible that now is the time to leave them behind entirely—to graduate from them and search for a new cause that will activate the next phase of your evolution as an enlightened warrior. What do you think? TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Life is like Sanskrit read to a pony,” said Lou Reed. That might be an accurate assessment for most people much of the time, but I don’t think it will be true for you in the coming days. On the contrary: You will have a special capacity to make contact and establish connection. You’ve heard of dog whisperers and ghost whisperers? You will be like an all-purpose, jack-of-alltrades whisperer—able to commune and communicate with nervous creatures and alien life forms and pretty much everything else. If anyone can get a pony to understand Sanskrit, it will be you. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Does Kim Kardashian tweak and groom her baby daughter’s eyebrows? They look pretty amazing, after all—elegant, neat, perfectly shaped. What do you think, Gemini? HA! I was just messing with you. I was checking to see if you’re susceptible to getting dis-

28 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

ing. The sheer volume of lyrical soulfulness that pours out of you will have so much healing power that you may even make the ugly stuff less ugly. I’m betting that you will lift up everything you touch, nudging it in the direction of grace and elegance and charm.

tracted by meaningless fluff like celebrity kids’ grooming habits. The cosmic truth of the matter is that you should be laser-focused on the epic possibilities that your destiny is bringing to your attention. It’s time to reframe your life story. How? Here’s my suggestion: See yourself as being on a mythic quest to discover and fully express your soul’s code. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The 19th-century American folk hero known as Wild Bill Hickok was born James Butler Hickok. At various times in his life he was a scout for the army, a lawman for violent frontier towns, a professional gambler, and a performer in Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show. Women found him charismatic, and he once killed an attacking bear with a knife. He had a brother Lorenzo who came to be known as Tame Bill Hickok. In contrast to Wild Bill, Tame Bill was quiet, gentle, and cautious. He lived an uneventful life as a wagon master, and children loved him. Right now, Cancerian, I’m meditating on how I’d like to see your inner Wild Bill come out to play for a while, even as your inner Tame Bill takes some time off. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “If I was a love poet,” writes Rudy Francisco, addressing a lover, “I’d write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful even on days when everything around you is ugly.” I suspect you have that kind of audacity right now, Leo. In fact, I bet the ugliness you encounter will actually incite you to amplify the gorgeous charisma you’re radiat-

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take,” says hockey great Wayne Gretzky. In other words, you shouldn’t be timid about shooting the puck toward the goal. Don’t worry about whether you have enough skill or confidence or luck. Just take the damn shot. You’ll never score if you don’t shoot. Or so the theory goes. But an event in a recent pro hockey game showed there’s an exception to the rule. A New York player named Chris Kreider was guiding the puck with his stick as he skated toward the Minnesota team’s goalie. But when Kreider cocked and swung his stick, he missed the puck entirely. He whiffed. And yet the puck kept sliding slowly along all by itself. It somehow flummoxed the goalie, sneaking past him right into the net. Goal! New rule: You miss only 99.9 percent of the shots you don’t take. I believe you will soon benefit from this loophole, Virgo. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you are the type of person who wears gloves when you throw snowballs, Germans would call you Handschuhschneeballwerfer. They use the same word as slang to mean “coward.” I’m hoping that in the coming days you won’t display any behavior that would justify you being called Handschuhschneeballwerfer. You need to bring a raw, direct, straightforward attitude to everything you do. You shouldn’t rely on any buffers, surrogates, or intermediaries. Metaphorically speaking, make sure that nothing comes between your bare hands and the pure snow. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In his song “4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy),” Bruce Springsteen mentions a disappointing development. “That waitress I was seeing lost her desire for me,” he sings. “She said she won’t set herself on fire for me anymore.” I’m assuming nothing like that has happened to you recently, Scorpio. Just the opposite: I bet there are attractive creatures out there who would set

themselves on fire for you. If for some reason this isn’t true, fix the problem! You have a cosmic mandate to be incomparably irresistible. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Some people say home is where you come from,” says a character in Katie Kacvinsky’s novel Awaken. “But I think it’s a place you need to find, like it’s scattered and you pick pieces of it up along the way.” That’s an idea I invite you to act on in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. It will be an excellent time to discover more about where you belong and who you belong with. And the best way to do that is to be aggressive as you search far and wide for clues, even in seemingly unlikely places that maybe you would never guess contain scraps of home. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What words bring the most points in the game of Scrabble? Expert Christopher Swenson says that among the top scorers are “piezoelectrical” and “ubiquitarianism”—assuming favorable placements on the board that bring double letter and triple word scores. The first word can potentially net 1,107 points, and the second 1,053. There are metaphorical clues here, Capricorn, for how you might achieve maximum success in the next phase of the game of life. You should be well-informed about the rules, including their unusual corollaries and loopholes. Be ready to call on expert help and specialized knowledge. Assume that your luck will be greatest if you are willing to plan nonstandard gambits and try bold tricks. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sorry to report that you won’t win the lottery this week. It’s also unlikely that you will score an unrecognized Rembrandt painting for a few dollars at a thrift store or discover that you have inherited a chinchilla farm in Peru or stumble upon a stash of gold coins half-buried in the woods. On the other hand, you may get provocative clues about how you could increase your cash flow. To ensure you will notice those clues when they arrive, drop your expectations about where they might come from. Homework: What is the best gift you could give your best ally right now? Testify at

Jonesin’ Crossword

Healthy, Freshly Prepared, Incredible Paninis, Salads, Soups & Entrees

matt jones

“Letter Chop” -- one splits into two.

Dine-in Take Out Catering Online Ordering

Fresh To Order, Chattanooga 1919 Gunbarrell Rd. Suite103 Chattanooga, TN 37421 423.826.5000

Across 1 “Tommy” group, with “The” 4 Flight segment 9 Midwinter malady 12 They “don’t lie,” so says Shakira 14 Explorer ___ de Leon 15 Horse holder 16 Sphere of expertise 17 Quests 19 Patches up 21 Treat a rapper with contempt 22 “Let sleeping dogs lie,” e.g. 23 Hannah of “Splash” 25 “The Divine Miss M” 26 Georgia’s state tree 29 Unpleasant, as a situation 30 “Skinny Love” band Bon ___ 31 Flip side? 33 Laceration, later 37 Cause bodily injury

38 Evansville’s st. 39 “___ Eightball” (Emily Flake comic) 40 Baby-dressing photographer Geddes 41 River frolicker 43 Metal in supplements 44 Part of MIT 46 Musses 48 Toddler 51 “Get ___” (Aerosmith album) 52 “Delta of Venus” author Nin 53 180 degrees from SSW 54 Reproduction 58 Torte cousins 61 Amble aimlessly 62 Altoids containers 63 Like models’ hair in shampoo ads 64 In a huff 65 T or F, on some exams 66 Lock of hair 67 Gates portal

Down 1 Crash sound 2 Put on the payroll 3 Not settled 4 Me-time place, perhaps 5 Country star known for hot alcoholic drinks? 6 Blacksmith’s block 7 Chills the bubbly 8 Stimpy’s smarter pal 9 Wild 10 Feudal figure 11 Al of Indy fame 13 Measurement system of what’s more pathetic? 15 Dorothy’s footwear, but in a less glamorous shade? 18 Waggin’ part 20 ___ Paulo 24 Cheerleader’s syllable 25 Booker T.’s backup band 26 Peru’s capital 27 Novelist Turgenev 28 Silver streak 29 Farmers who just

won’t shut up about milking techniques? 32 Kitchen crawler, if you’re a slob 34 Barbell rep 35 Shaving cream additive 36 Box score data 41 Big mo. for candy companies 42 1920 play that takes place in a factory 45 Palliate 47 Combine ingredients 48 Word in many reggae song lyrics 49 Remove, as a boutonniere 50 Improvements 51 Sprain site, perhaps 53 Depilatory maker 55 Hospital unit 56 Accessories for a dory 57 Wolverine’s pack 59 Hrs. on the Mississippi 60 Part of iOS

100% of the proceeds from the event will stay local, benefitting the Greater Chattanooga Colon Cancer Foundation (GCCCF).

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0664 • February 27-March 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

On the Beat

alex teach

The Case for LIDAR Love Officer Alex busts the county commissioners for backing down


HE BRIEFEST OF RESEARCH WILL INDICate that it is a technology used to make highresolution maps with applications in everything from archaeology to forestry (and contour mapping in particular), but to the local Chattanooga area? Its primary purpose is clearly to piss everyone off to no end. Last week the Hamilton County Commission voted five to four in favor of the sheriff ’s office getting two new handheld LIDAR guns, but such was the outcry from constituents that the very next day two of those commissioners voting for the purchase opted to change their minds and vote against it. (“My butt’s chewed up,” said District 9 Commissioner Chester Bankston. I never had an issue with him before, but I really like him now just for saying that as an elected official.) The fact this wasn’t publicly advertised on the agenda (as I understand it) also didn’t help. Without getting too far into it, the LIDAR system is essentially a camera attached to the radar gun. They are officer-manned, not automated on a pole or on the back deck of an SUV as preferred by other local agencies. Basically, it allows an officer to personally observe and record a passing speed violator and instead of entering traffic, pulling them over, and writing one citation every 30 min-

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

“It pisses

them off to be caught speeding and if it’s going to be inconvenient for them, it damn well better be inconvenient for the officer.”

utes or so, he or she can scientifically record the speed of the observed violators. Tickets are mailed to the address the car is registered to. Or even more simplified, you get more bang for each officer’s buck. Instead of one ticket? He or she is generating dozens in the same space of time. A private company then processes that photograph, handles the mailing, and in return, gets half of the citation amount, generally $50. The company keeps the profit, and the county puts their half into a driving program to teach driver safety to the masses. Here’s the rub: People say this denies them the right to face their accuser as afforded by law. The same people don’t realize that that is in a criminal matter; these tickets are being handled in civil court, a distant cousin to criminal court where the rules are different. They also say having your photograph taken from the side of the road violates their right to privacy. The same people that think they have a right to privacy in the middle of a four-lane highway (or one lane for that matter) don’t complain when they are required to drive on that road with a picture of themselves on a little card, but “hiding in the middle of an open roadway” in a vehicle intentionally made partially of glass make sense to them, which means they are NOT people you want to engage in conversation

about the stupidity of such a belief. There are more arguments but I think this covers the basics. That said? Both are quickly and factually disproven but both lead to a final truth that is undeniable: It pisses them off to be caught speeding and if it’s going to be inconvenient for them, it damn well better be inconvenient for the officer. If they would just say that, it would be easier to get behind them on the topic. Sheriff Jim Hammond is a source of much of my best material, but in this case I think he really was just trying to make better use of his resources (much like his demotion of [insert rank here] Ron Parson to a rank he never had to test or interview for…a whole other story of course). That said? The public has spoken, and they are PISSED. My take? I think that getting pulled over one at a time is the way to go. You don’t learn a lesson by getting a letter mailed to you. You learn a lesson by getting the fear of law put into you starting with your rear view mirror letting your bladder know you have been “caught”, and the interaction that follows as you race to remember where your insurance card is and if you have any empty beer cans in the floorboard (etc., etc.) before the Smokey even gets there. (I’ve had tickets, too, boys and girls.)

Rowdy Woods

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Call to get your estimate today: (423) 298-1155 30 • The Pulse • February 27-March 5, 2014 •

That said? You know what happens when I drive down certain stretches of Highway 58, Highway 153, or East Brainerd Road? I slow down. That’s right—those mail-in tickets have done the one thing they are designed to do: They change driving habits. The LIDAR guns are less consistent in some locations and therefore not as helpful in my opinion, but it does work. But for all the arguments against, it’s the one “for” it that I like the best from a former Chattanooga police chief to the Tennessee General Assembly: “The program is a voluntary one in that motorists have a choice on whether they will violate traffic laws.” In short? Slow down and you won’t even have to worry about it. Well, unless you live out in the county now. Purchase: CANCELED, with extreme prejudice. When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.

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The Pulse 11.09 » February 27, 2014  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative.

The Pulse 11.09 » February 27, 2014  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative.