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October 10-16

special section

Vol. 10 • No. 41

halloween guide where to get scared

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Graveyard shift Officer Teach's Tale of the Darkside


the pulse pick of the litter october 10-16 EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin Contributing Editors Janis Hashe • Gary Poole

Curiously Based on Psychedelic

Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Mike Dobbs • Rick Pimental-Habib Janis Hashe • Mike McJunkin • Marc T. Michael Ernie Paik • Gary Poole • Alex Teach Editorial Intern Chelsea Sokol Photographer Josh Lang Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow • Max Cannon Jen Sorensen • Sketch Crowd

Eclectic indie-pop band Elekibass, hailing all the way from Tokyo, plays Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café on Oct. 13 with special guests Sir Army Suit and Ashley Erkisson (of K Records band LAKE). Heavily influenced by the Beatles, the Kinks, Os Mutantes, of Montreal, and The Beach Boys, Elekibass’s two regular members, vocalist Youichi Sakamoto and guitarist Jumpei Kameda (JP), are bringing their fun, upbeat mélange of ’60s style and J-pop energy to their seventh American tour since 2001. Contributing to their “curious, psychedelic” style are U.S. touring members Joe Rowe of The Glands (drums), Jason NeSmith of Casper & The Cookies (bass), Jay Gonzalez of Drive-By Truckers (keys). Crazy!

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Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer • Stacey Tyler Tara Viland • Jerry Ware • Candice York


Sunday, October 13 10 p.m. Sluggo's 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website Email Calendar THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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March Against Monsanto

No More Frankenfoods Chattanooga will join the more than 400 cities participating in the March Against Monsanto on Saturday, Oct. 12. Fifty-two countries are sites for marches worldwide, as people rally to protest genetically modified foods. According to Patricia Bazemore, lead organizer of the Chattanooga march, elected representatives are not listening on this issue. “Over 90 percent of Americans want genetically modified foods labeled,” she said. “Yet, over 70 percent of our processed foods contain GMOs, and none are labeled. Sixty-four countries require GMO labeling—but the U.S. does not. Our


political system that deems Monsanto's money as ‘speech’ has allowed their voice to be louder than ours. Monsanto spends millions on funding candidates that will put Monsanto's profits over the people they represent. Monsanto spend millions on defeating state initiatives to label GMOs. Their executives use their money and influence to gain positions in the FDA and other agencies that are supposed to regulate them. It's time we join together and demand an end to corporate rule by companies like Monsanto. It's time that our government carry out the will of the people, not their biggest campaign contributors.” Marchers will meet at Miller Park at 1:30 for sign-making, a group singing action lead by Chattanooga Organized for Action’s Justice Choir, and a presentation and skit by Move to Amend of Chattanooga. The group will march to Renaissance

4 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

Park, where breakout sessions will be coordinated by Occupy Chattanooga, along with live music by Jonathan Kane. At 4 p.m. Fair Share is sponsoring a potluck, documentary, “Edible Cities: Growing the Revolution” and discussion of the Grow Hope youth farm project at 1800 Roanoke Ave. For more information, contact Bazemore at (423) 320-3880, visit facebook. com/chattanoogansagainstmonsanto or the international march, marchagainstmonsanto. —Staff

businesses also makes it a “prime area for high-visibility sustainability investment,” as explained by team leader Monika Groppe. For more information, visit Hill City Community Garden & Compost Projects on Facebook or hill-city-community-compost. —Chelsea Sokol

River Rocks Weekend

Still Time to Rock It

Hill City Sustainability

Go to The Garden Party Join the Hill City community this Saturday, October 12, 5 - 8 p.m., at First Calvary Baptist Church for music, food, carnival games, face painting, henna tattooing and garden art, supported primarily by Causeway and The Muenster Truck. All proceeds of this Hill City Block Party will contribute to enhancing the community by reducing food waste and making sustainable lifestyle choices. As of today, the Hill City Neighborhood has reached 22 percent of their goal to support two “Earth Tubs,” or composting units, that can provide healthy soil—up to 100 pounds of it—for plants daily. Hill City, considered a low-income area in Chattanooga, will benefit greatly from a community garden not only providing a sustainable way to reuse organic waste, but also becoming a source of nutritious produce grown in rich soil. The Hill City raised-bed community garden is planned for spring construction, and as the first step in a larger community-development plan that will include neighborhood composting, a dog park, and selling produce at the corner market. However, this project won’t just be for sustainability. It’s all about image and community pride. Developing healthy relationships with food and with the community improves economic and physical health, as well as overall wellbeing. The neighborhood’s proximity to local eco-

Unless you’ve been hiding under a river rock yourself, you know that the giant celebration of all things outdoors in Chattanooga, River Rocks, concludes this weekend. Whether you’re a participant or an audience member, there will plenty to choose from. Beginning Friday, Oct. 11 and continuing through Sunday, Oct. 13, the crowd favorite hot-air balloon rides will again be hovering above the action below. Wanna float? Call (615) 995-2685 or visit On Friday evening is the relaxed and friendly 3.5-mile Southside Inspiration Group Run, making its way through the sights of the Southside. Saturday, Oct. 12, you’ve got a whole range of choices, from rowing (Chattanooga Head Race), trail running (Stringer’s Ridge Urban 10K), mountain biking (Five Points Fifty) and swimming (the Swim the Suck 10-mile swim). Not exhausted just thinking about all that? The Block Party event will be held beginning at 5:30 p.m. that evening to preview the new The Block climbing center downtown on Broad St. Major musical entertainment will be provided by the acts at Scenic City Rocks Live (broadcast live on Hippie Radio, 106.9). Finally, on Sunday, the festival winds up with the River Rocks Duathalon at Enterprise South, which combines a two-mile run with a 10-mile mountain bike ride. For a complete calendar of events and more information, visit —Staff



pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU10.10 HAIL TO THE CHIEF CSO: “Lincoln Portrait” • Chattanooga Mayor Andy Berke narrates, reading excerpts of Abraham Lincoln’s great documents. 7:30 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583,

FRI10.11 MR. DARCY, I PRESUME "Pride and Prejudice” • Come join Elizabeth Bennet as she deals with issues of manners, upbringing, morality, education and marriage in the classic tale. 8 p.m. • Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 419-1051,

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! John’s Birfday with Daikaiju, ead Testaments, Ala Carte, Smooth Dialects • It's the birthday bash for one of the "Js" in JJ's Bohemia with some of John's all-time favorite bands. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

Dracula's Little Brother


GOING GONZO American Gonzos with South Of Specter, Matt Chancey & The Lady Killers • North Carolina rockers The American Gonzos pull inspiration from all genres including rock, funk, punk and alternative to make a delicious stew of original sound. 6 p.m. • The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192,

• A special outdoor show featuring Booker T Jones, Radney Foster, Amber Fults & The Ambivalent Lovers, and Space 7 p.m. • Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695,

THE WAVING WHEAT "Oklahoma" • All together now: "OOOk-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain, And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet, When the wind comes right behind the rain!" 7:30 p.m. • Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Cir., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000,


While singing his own hilariously politically incorrect songs, Unknown Hinson plays guitar in a style incendiary enough to have Satan himself reaching for the antiperspirant. But don't dismiss him as a novelty act. He's one hell of a talent and has the music to prove it! Looking somewhat like Dracula's nasty little brother (who spent some hard years drinking and working as a carnival barker for a second-rate freak show), Unknown Hinson translates that vibe to his style of country and western-tinged psychobilly. The band is now touring nationwide, wowing audiences with its outrageous and campy, white-trash persona and freewheeling, sleazy tone. Hinson’s most recent CD release, "Live and Undead", melds weepy twang, searing guitar riffs and lyrics that speak

of love-gone-bad. Recorded at a soldout show, an enthusiastic honky-tonk crowd sings along with the King on every song. Raucous, theatrical and overthe-top, Unknown Hinson isn’t just for the trailer park set anymore! Unknown is also gaining international notoriety as the voice of lead character "Early Cuyler" in the popular show from Cartoon Network "Squidbillies" featured on "Adult Swim". The first four seasons were so well received that an immediate green light was given to future seasons. Unknown Hinson Friday, October 12 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,


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6 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

Shades Of Green

sandra kurtz

No Energy Martyrs Here And by the way, kill off those vampires this month

It’s October. Nature is into its annual ritual around here as winter approaches. It only makes sense for trees to hunker down when unable to photosynthesize due to freezing temperatures and light availability. One might as well cut off your leaf connections and reduce your energy needs until spring. For us, this is a spectacular colorful show. For the plants, it’s about energy efficiency and survival. Living more energy efficiently is an important survival tactic for people, too. We often think of it as a way to save money—and that it requires suffering. However, in a resource-constrained world, it’s much more than that. As Jim Rogers, the former CEO of Duke Energy says, “Energy efficiency is the fifth fuel after coal, gas, renewables and nuclear. It should be our first choice in meeting our growing demand for electricity as well as solving the climate challenge.” According to TVA, demand for power is down and will continue to go down in the next 10 years. Yet TVA’s inclusion of energy efficiency as a resource only rises from two percent to five percent by 2023, while gas rises from 24 to

33 percent, nuclear from 20 to 23 percent, and hydro from 11 to 13 percent. Coal goes down from 35 to 21 percent as several of the aging coal units are retired. The remaining six to four percent of power is from purchases. The National Sierra Club, through its Tennessee Healthy Energy Campaign, is urging TVA to quadruple the size of its annual energy efficiency targets. TVA has stated its commitment to be the Southeast’s leader in increased energy efficiency. So far, they are behind. As we transition to renewable energy sources, energy efficiency allows us to avoid coal and gas burning and nuclear atom-splitting so deleterious to environmental and human health. Soon TVA will ask for public input

to their Integrated Resource Plan. Urge them to do better. TVA makes power and delivers it to distributors. Energy efficiency is not just about how people use energy in homes and businesses, but how efficiently it is delivered and on that front, our local distributor EPB is top-notch. The established Smart Grid communication systems and substation upgrades allow for less transportation needs (gas energy), more power reliability and quicker turnaround when power goes off. EPB sees value in energy efficiency and has led the way in reducing their energy use through a renovation of its office building that has dramatically reduced energy consumption. So, suffering is not needed to use less energy at home or work. With the arrival of numerous energysaver gadgets and appliances, we are already doing it. There are programmable thermostats, motion detectors that turn off after someone leaves a room, dimmers, compact fluorescent and LED light bulbs, Energy Star-rated refrigerators and air conditioners,

Suffering is not needed to use less energy at home or work. With the arrival of numerous energysaver gadgets and appliances, we are already doing it.

and old-fashioned ceiling fans, to name a few. We are incorporating natural daylighting in our buildings and using better insulation in windows, roofs and walls to control our indoor climates more efficiently. If you don’t know where to get started, there is help. Go to http:// htm to learn about an In-Home Evaluation Program, or call EPB for a free energy audit. You may also be eligible for some federal tax incentives. Find out about those at Oh, and in October, watch out for phantoms and vampires. Those are the energy suckers emanating from your continuously glowing appliances, TVs, inkjet printers, and iPod phone chargers that aren’t actually off. They are really on “standby,” secretly stealing money from your pocketbook. Kill these vampires by plugging them into a single power strip that you can turn off. Unplug your rarely used toasters and other small appliances when not in use. The planet will thank you for it! • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 7

on the

Graveyard shift by Alex Teach

An eerie ride through the looking-glass world of city nights

“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But… there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit… a Darkside.” — Opening narration, “Tales from the Darkside” (1983-1988)


is arms were blue up to his tiny biceps as were parts of his face, and the smell of burnt fabric and hair still hung heavy in the air. Cerulean rivulets ran down his cheeks and along the edge of his slackened jaw where they congregated and slowly dripped onto the concrete upon which he stood, and I knew…I knew that the cyanotic hues would wash away far, far sooner than the simple look on his face would. The burning smell was from the fire he set on the construction site I was passing, which is what caught my attention in the first place; the blue was from him diving into the chemical toilet that he had set

8 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

alight in the first place (and shirtsleeve along with it in the process), prompting the plunge into the deep blue poo. “Come on, Kash,” I said. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Here…you can work the blue lights again.” He began to hoot excitedly as I covered him in a soon-to-be discarded blanket and allowed him into the front seat while Chattanooga’s Bravest ensured my fire extinguisher had done its job as they wiped the sleep from their recently rested eyes. (Kash and I had met before, it’s safe to say.) A rookie fresh from field training stood nearby, pen and pad in hand, not sure where to start other than with his own

slack-jawed expression, so I gave him something to work with. “Welcome to midnight shift, kid.” Third watch. Graveyard shift. Midnights. Where else could I have seen something like that during daylight hours (outside of East Lake, at least)? Anyone who has worked night shifts for even a short amount of time knows two things: One, no matter what city you live in or near, it’s like this whole other planet at night compared to daylight hours. Everything is different. The people you see, the cars, the businesses…it’s like the sun transports every normal human being in the world to

some other place when it leaves the sky, and leaves only the freaks behind. Ever heard the phrase “It’s like night and day”? Exactly. Oh, and two: That staying up all night without being drunk and the unspoken promise of a sweet blackout to catch up on sleep and a return to a normal schedule just plain sucks. I mean, we live in an incentivized world, right? Depending on where you work, every night is like a miniature Zombie Apocalypse. Don’t believe in zombies, you say? Let me take you on a little ride along sometime after 2 a.m. I’ll drive you down to a little unlit slice of heaven called “South Watkins Street” and I’ll show you the alternate ending to “World War Z” where Brad Pitt is nowhere to be seen, only the shambling hulks of slow-moving addicts and spaced-out hookers and you will re-think everything that’s made you scoff at George Romero’s mainstream creations. Upset about the downtime between seasons of “The Walking Dead”? Well good news: We chill with the cast and crew every night at the intersection of 38th and Central Avenue in this town. It’s great, but you don’t want to keep any props from the set you may find. That includes ears. (No, literally. That intersection in particular is terribly uncivilized, and that’s in the daylight hours.) Let me tell you about a prostitute nicknamed “Yo” (for Yolanda). She’s a third-shift whore (and yes, they really do work in shifts) who was peeing on a sidewalk under a street lamp the first time I met her, her left leg slightly hiked as her right hand hooked the bottom of her skirt up to keep it dry (I mean damn near standing fully upright while she cut loose, really impressive stuff) and she didn’t miss a beat as she said, “Hey, officer. I haven’t seen you before! Why, you must be new around here.” She was right, I hadn’t worked that district before, but after seeing that, I felt like anything but “new.” Seeing a hooker peeing on a sidewalk from a standing position…that’ll age you prematurely, ladies and gents. To me, she has always been the gold standard of both poor decision-making and emaciation; she looks like

Gollum and the Crypt Keeper had a baby, with fewer teeth but a perpetual smile. Had she been lying down on the sidewalk instead of peeing on it, I would have instantly and justifiably presumed she was dead, and had been so for some time. Cocaine and low self-esteem beat movie make-up any day of the week. And again, micturition like that is just something you don’t see during the light of day. Like any relationship though, I have to admit, those first few nights on shift are actually kind of magical. You see things you’re unaccustomed to, like red lights cycling at empty intersections that are normally overrun, and parking lots of restaurants and stores you can’t see the pavement of during daylight hours are now empty, aside from the occasional orphan shopping cart and inevitable fast-food sack that for reasons rarely explained sits firmly in the face of gale-force winds. It’s a ghost town; every night is the Rapture, and in the back of your mind you just know you’ve missed the ride upward and are stuck with the rest of the heathens for God knows how long. Eventually, of course, you will also realize one of the only perks to this opaque world: The ability to actually get places pretty damn quickly because there is no traffic. Period. To work, from work, going from call to call…it’s like you’re driving a rocket ship (particularly if you’re Yasiel Puig), and it spoils you. Statistically speaking you are going to have to drive again during daylight hours, and not only will you be pissed off because you physically and mentally feel like absolute crap from sleep deprivation, but there are all these damn cars all over the place getting in your way. The nerve! What took 12 minutes of driving at night takes 35 minutes during daytime hours, and someone owes you for this…but take it from me, folks: They will never pay. Despite the desolation though,

much like any good horror movie set you are not alone at night. You have company that can generally be divided into two subsets of categories: Other service—oriented employees like yourself, and criminals. (And no, I’m not referring to all the railroad folks I run across at these hours, too.) This is not so good for the thirdshift waitresses, cooks, nurses and cleaning crews around town (crews that seem to get a disproportionate amount of punishment from the criminal element for some reason), but it’s great for the cops. It’s like

with their most frustrating clientele. This is fair enough, I suppose, but I have to tell you…few and far between is the Waffle House waitress I’d tangle with, dear reader. My shift ends long before the courts open, so like all third-shift cops, I have to kill time between end of watch and the opening of the Courts building. These early-dawn hours are terrible hours to have to stay awake (after being up all night as it is), but I always appreciated witnessing the transition first-hand of the people that have just been re-deposited from wherever the sun puts them at night

“Every night is the Rapture, and in the back of your mind you just know you’ve missed the ride upward and are stuck with the rest of the heathens for God knows how long.” shooting pension reforms in a barrel. If you’re out past 3 a.m., you’re probably a criminal (or in strong contention for becoming one). The third-shift waiters and waitresses, though…there is something special about them I couldn’t put my finger on until just a few years ago: Their apathy, cynicism, and personal habits are nearly as powerful as ours. Imagine it…night after night of feeling perpetually sick from the absolute destruction of your circadian rhythms, the smell of cooking oil and grease permeating your clothes both at work and home, and the bulk of your customers outrageous and disrespectful drunks that are as incapable of speaking quietly as they are of tipping. And what can they do about it? “Smile.” It’s totally unfair because although we cops deal with the same people in the same inebriated states, we can at least address it with our hands as opposed to our own smiles, and we only smell like hash browns for the few minutes after we eat them, not all shift long. You’d think the wait staff would be bitter about this, but they’re not; they adore us and seem to relish living vicariously through our actions

as daylight reclaims the city, and the cycle begins anew. Hours before I may have been watching a pair of coyote lope across the parking lot of Hamilton Place Mall without another car or human in sight, the first ones I’d ever seen, the scene neatly framed by darkness for my imagination to fill in whatever it needed. Now? Now I could see everything with all this accursed “light” and it was making me crazy, overloading my brain. People were everywhere again. And yes, it IS terrible. I sat at a red light pondering this, waiting to pass through, when to my left a car ran the light, a rear tire riding on a rim kicking up a giant rooster tail of sparks as it blew through the intersection past my marked police car in a rain of primitive fireworks. “Now that’s rude,” I thought, and I began to smile as I reached down to flip on my lights and siren. I smiled because I knew right away that this man wasn’t just drunk: He was still on third shift as far as he was concerned. We were both just up past our bedtimes. We were going to get along just famously. • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 9

Stretching the Limits with Konk Pack AN CUB d , THaE-cola mawritinhate ham

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Free improv trio plays Barking Legs on Friday



John’s Birfday w/ Daikaiju, Dead Testaments, Ala Carte, Smooth Dialects

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 12 Megan Jean & the KFB with Sweet GA Brown

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16 Beats Antique afterparty with Carbon Denominator

231 E MLK Blvd ✴ 10 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

The acclaimed European free improv trio Konk Pack, since forming in Budapest in 1997, is known for its dynamic, exciting performances with a propulsive energy that emits sparks of innovation, featuring clarinetist and lap-steel-guitarist Tim Hodgkinson and percussionist Roger Turner, both of London, plus Thomas Lehn of Cologne, Germany on analog synthesizer. The outfit’s October 11 performance at Barking Legs Theater kicks ernie paik off the “Dennis Palmer Birthday Weekend” celebration, part of “The Old-Timey Avant-Garde Series,” paying tribute to the late co-founder of the arts education non-profit The Shaking Ray Levi Society (disclosure: I am on its board of directors) and half of the performing duo The Shaking Ray Levis with drummer Bob Stagner.


Tim Hodgkinson is a major figure in the art-rock pantheon, having co-founded the legendary group Henry Cow in 1968 with Fred Frith, and since the band’s breakup in 1978, Hodgkinson has carried the experimental spirit of that band by continuing to defy classification with diverse work. In Konk Pack, he stretches the limits of the clarinet and a modified lap steel guitar with perplexing sounds that are difficult to place. Thomas Lehn’s instrument of choice for Konk Pack is the EMS Synthi A analog synth, and its control panel appearance makes it look more like a detonation device than a musical instrument. Appropriately, Lehn pries diabolical and unfamiliar electronic madness from it, and via email, Turner praised Lehn’s ability “to make something extraordinary of an initially unpromising sound.” Roger Turner is on a short list of percussionists in the world with both great

technical skill and an impossibly wide, daring and imaginative sonic palette, and one of his great talents is to make every spontaneous moment sound incredibly articulate—things might get raucous or even disorderly, but he never sounds sloppy. Free improvisation, which is improvisation that intentionally avoids any established genres such as jazz or rock, can elicit some strong positive and negative reactions from listeners, including confusion and pointed distaste; for an example, simply go to YouTube, search for Derek Bailey videos and read the user comments. Some hear abstract, non-melodic sounds as just being noise, but as Hodgkinson wrote via email, someone like that is “someone who thinks a kid could have painted Jackson Pollock.” There is a different, unusual type of pleasure that can be enjoyed from adeptly executed free improv; rather than focusing on catchy melodies, the spontaneity of invention and the joy of expressing a new idea are elements at work. Playing in the free improv realm keeps one on his toes, as he scrambles for new sounds and self-edits in real-time, enjoying something that works before quickly moving on. One point of free improv is to never get stuck in a rut or routine. As Hodgkinson pointed out, regarding developing his own improvisational techniques over the years, “Work away at it. You get more technique, but you have to push it down inside so it doesn’t interfere.”

honest music

There is a different, unusual type of pleasure that can be enjoyed from adeptly executed free improv; rather than focusing on catchy melodies, the spontaneity of invention and the joy of expressing a new idea are elements at work.

Each of the musicians in Konk Pack has known and collaborated with Dennis Palmer over the years, and Hodgkinson cited a particularly memorable London concert which featured Dennis, the late cellist Tom Cora, the Dutch post-punk band The Ex, and himself. Of the three Konk Pack members, though, Turner

had the closest friendship with Dennis—both are featured on the mid-’90s album Short in the U.K. with Bob Stagner and Steve Beresford—and those who knew Dennis well know that he forged deep bonds with people in a meaningful intertwining of music and life, combining aesthetics with admiration on a personal level. “I always loved seeing Dennis up on stage, standing at the keyboard beaming it out with a great preacher’s sense of transcendent lunacy, grinning and wailing and coming out with music that no one on the planet will ever witness again,” wrote Turner. “He was a full beam person indeed, same in life, same in music.” When discussing what might be in store for Konk Pack in the future, Hodgkinson and Turner spoke as if it were impossible to separate music from life, staying flexible while not being burdened with a concrete pathway for the trio. The way forward is simple, according to Hodgkinson: “Keep checking we are still happening, and, if we are, go on.” For this trio, which lives and breathes music, there is a difference between forcing things and living in the moment, being compelled to create compelling music. Konk Pack (Dennis Palmer Birthday Weekend), 8 p.m. October 11. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave., (423) 624-5347,

local and regional shows

Chris Milam with Ryan Oyer [$3] American Gonzos with Matt Chancey & The Lady Killers [$5] Ashley and The X's with The Galactic Cowboy Orchestra [$5] Shannon Labrie with Dan Tedesco and Dark Horse Ten [$5]

Wed, Oct 9 Thu, Oct 10 Wed, Oct 16 Thu, Oct 17

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm, Followed by Live Music Sunday, Oct 13 - Sour Bridges with The Bird and the Bear [Free]

9pm 9pm 9pm 9pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 * • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live



Jeff Coffin Mu’tet



THU 8p


















THUrsday 10.10 Bluegrass and Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Nazarene Church, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 842-5919, Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center, 9835 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-5323 Fireside at Greenway Farm: Randy Steele and Friends 7 p.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Rd. (423) 643-6888, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, The Loop 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Tim Neal and Mike Harris 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 509-8696, Jeff Coffin Mu’tet, Futureman 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, American Gonzos, South Of Specter, Matt Chancey & The Lady Killers 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theoffice.chatt

12 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

friday 10.11 Charley Yates 4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-6201 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo-Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, Fly Free Festival 2013 5:30 p.m. Red River Canoe Campground, 8002 Highway 41 N. Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, Zach Kerber 6 p.m. Boskey’s Grille, 6751 McMinnville Hwy. (931) 728-8989, “Pride & Joy” film and music by Slim Pickins 6:30 p.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1111, The Half & Half Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Danny Sample/ Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market, 212

Market St. (423) 265-1212, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, “Mountain Opry” bluegrass and mountain music 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 886-3252 “The Old-Timey Avant-Garde Series” with Konk Pack 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Brian Ashley Jones 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, Crossfire 8:30 p.m. Charlie’s Restaurant and Lounge, 8504 Dayton Pk. (423) 842-9744 Austin Nickels Band 8:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, John’s Birfday with Daikaiju, Dead Testaments, Ala Carte, Smooth Dialects 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theoffice.chatt Unknown Hinson 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, The Royal Hounds

9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, The Regulars 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga Soul Survivor 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878,

saturday 10.12 Laurentz und die Katzen 8:30 a.m. - 6 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Fly Free Festival 2013 10 a.m. Red River Canoe Campground, 8002 Highway 41 N. Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Cattanooga Choo Choo-Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, 24/7 Band 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn, 1095 Weatherly Switch Tr. (423) 464-3034

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191


Booker T Jones

Yonder Mountain String Band

Thursday, October 10: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, October 11: 9pm Jonathan Wimpee Saturday, October 12: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, October 15: 7pm

The Hopeful Country Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Scenic City Roots outdoor concert: Booker T Jones, Radney Foster, Amber Fults & the Ambivalent Lovers, Space Capone 7 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, The Countrymen Band 8 p.m. Eagles Club, 6128 Airways Blvd. (423) 894-9940 Neptune’s Car 8 p.m. Charles’ and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, “The Old-Timey AvantGarde Series” with the Nief-Norf Project 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Brian Ashley Jones 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, The Band Raven 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Megan Jean & the KFB, Sweet GA Brown 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Maycomb Criers 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee

Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Skin Deep 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Gypsy Riot, Matt Stephens Project 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, The Regulars 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga Hap Henninger 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theoffice.chatt

sunday 10.13 Laurentz und die Katzen 8:30 a.m. - 6 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Sour Bridges, The Bird & The Bear 6 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 4684192, Benji Varsossa, Danny Mull, Jimmy Young 11 a.m. Great New York Flea Market, 143 Park Industrial Blvd. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 858-0188 Bobby Denton Band Jam 2 p.m. Cheap Seats Sports Bar, 2925 Rossville Blvd. (423) 629-5636 Evensong 5:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081,

Yonder Mountain String Band 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929,

monday 10.14 Men’s Barbershop harmony group 7 p.m. All Saints Academy, 10 East Eighth St. (423) 876-7359 Wally Henry 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055,

tuesday 10.15 Tim Starnes & Friends 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Jim Palmer 7:30 p.m. 1885 Grill, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 485-3050, Open Mic Hosted by Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996, facebook. com/TremontTavern

wednesday 10.16 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson Hixson,

248 Northgate Mall, (423) 710-1201 Dan Sheffield 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Beats Antique 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, Priscilla & Little Rickee 8:30 p.m. Las Margarita’s, 1101 Hixson Pk. (423) 756-3332, Michael French 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, Beats Antique afterparty with Carbon Denominator 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Ashley and The X’s, The Galactic Cowboy Orchestra, Paul Edelman 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, Raven Cliff 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Hot Music • Hot Times • Hot Food

Smoke Free • 742 Ashland Terrace

11 Austin Nickels Band SAT OCT 12 The Band Raven FRI OCT

Come Catch All The College Football Action Every Saturday HAPPY HOUR



(423) 710-8739 • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

Between the Sleeves

record reviews

Return to Babel

Taking a second look at the second effort from Mumford & Sons By Marc T. Michael

I know what you ’ re thinking . Given an opportunity to review a new and current CD, why would I choose one that’s more than a year old from a band that is already…well represented…in popular media? Well—because I believe in owning up to mistakes and it seems I may have made a mistake in judging this album harshly during its debut. When Mumford & Sons first hit the scene in late 2009 they were well received, and why not? Folk-rock is certainly nothing new (these kids could be the grandchildren of Steeleye Span after all), but it doesn’t make a mainstream splash very often. Their debut album Sigh No More instantly yielded two hit singles. Although the rest of the material on that album wasn’t necessarily radio-ready, there was cohesion, a unifying vibe that left no doubt as to the band’s sense of identity. The lyrics were charming, even if they were occasionally a little strained. Context is everything in this case. If this has been their fourth or fifth album it might have relegated them to “Little Engine That Almost Could” status, but for a debut album it was really quite impressive, rife with potential. It was this potential that left me impatiently waiting for their next entry, Babel, released in late 2012. If I had been asked to write a review of it at the time it would have been pretty simple, “I really enjoyed these songs more the first time I heard them on Sigh No More.” That’s really what I thought, that’s really how it sounded to me. I imagined a scenario in which the band had 20 or t30 original tunes and selected a handful of the strongest for the first album and then took what was left to make the second one. I was disappointed. I had been touting the band for a couple of years at that point, selling them hard and it was one of my standard stump speeches to say, “Man, I can’t wait to see what they do next!” When I finally did. it was not what I had wanted it to be and I was left with the feeling that I had been mistaken, that they “got lucky” on album one and if they didn’t pull something unusually good out

14 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

for act three, then that was probably the end of them, at least far as I was concerned. Turns out I may have been wrong. “Anticipation is better than realization” is a cliché and one of the greatest founts of dissatisfaction. I had considered the first album “great” and expected the second album to be “double great” but it is not “double great,” it is “better than the first album.” There is growth here, slow and steady to be sure, but growth none the less, and that’s what you want to see in a group of musicians you like. The band, if not entirely mature, is maturing and from a commercial standpoint the album has so far generated five hit singles to Sigh No More’s two. By that reasoning alone it is certainly a more successful album. Musically the album is rock-solid, the boys are talented instrumentalists and the arrangements are extremely catchy and anthem-like with hooks aplenty. Lyrically it’s still…not weak per se, but not as deep as one might hope and this too may be an effect of my expectations versus what the band is actually trying to accomplish. Perhaps it’s the folk instrumentation that throws me, but I want these songs to be deeper and more lyrically complex (I’m a word guy when all is said and done) but whether I like it or not, this is pop music. It is very well-done pop music, it does everything that quality pop music

Mumford & Sons Babel (Glass Note) should do, but at the end of the day one does not turn to pop music for its complex philosophical message. I still believe the band has the potential to do deeper and more serious work, but if pop music is what they do at least it’s some of the best pop music I’ve heard in a decade. It’s hard to say what will come next, the band is on an indefinite hiatus— but I expect there will be a third album, and whether it is a pop masterpiece or something new and introspective, I look forward to hearing it. So, a reminder, kids: When you evaluate a thing, be it art, music, literature or truck-stop cooking, it is imperative to judge its merits based on what it is meant to be rather than what you think it ought to be. Forgetting that has led me to paraphrase Dr. Peter Venkman: “I’m gonna take back some of the things I said about you; Babel is actually a very fine album.”

the Pulse's

Halloween Guide going inside the haunted hilltop The smells of fall consumables, smoke from the bonfire, and sweat from the fear of people running around screaming fill the air.


it's time for haunted hayrides and spooks galore.

plus haunted houses & HALLOWEEN events WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO SEE, WHEN TO SCREAM

your weekly guide to chattanooga's favorite halloween haunts • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

Inside The Haunted Hilltop By Josh Lang


RIVING UPON THE HAUNTED HILLTOP THIS year will be like nothing ever before. The chilling and harrowing sounds carried through the crisp cool air and permeated into my ears, keeping my body on edge and preparing me for an experience like no other.

Darkness embraces your soul in the blackest of black rooms, a cold moist feeling. Through each breath I feel closer to death.

Being away from the city lights and noisy cars helps give the feeling of seclusion that haunt aficionados rarely get to enjoy. The smells of fall consumables, smoke from the bonfire, and sweat from the fear of people running around screaming fill the air. Yes, this is certainly the time for haunted hayrides and spooks galore. Your adventure starts out at the entrance to the Haunted House,

which already is a testament to how detailed and experienced these professional thrill-setters are. The line doesn't seem very long as the sounds of terror and pure excitement fill the area. There are several people enjoying themselves outside the main entrance, eating popcorn and watching scary movies on the outside television. Just as my nerves start to calm, I'm informed it's my turn to enter the house of doom. Once entering, there is no escape. The professional actors maintain the utmost integrity when it comes to handling their dinner...that is to say, customers, but it should be well known that they won't harm you if you keep your head about you. Darkness embraces your soul in the blackest of black rooms, a cold moist feeling. Through each breath I feel closer to death. A gruesome and terrifying walk through this haunted barn is enough to make the most sane individual contemplate swallowing their own tongue—but don't worry, you'll be screaming too much to even consider such a Hannibalistic mind

Halloween Guide 2013 16 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

game. Sporadic flashes of light assist in producing greater fear as all senses of the body are fully engaged in this doom-filled environment. Known for its animatronics, a slew of new ones were added for the 2013 Haunted Hilltop experience—and they do not disappoint. Continuing is no easy task, but once you've finally navigated this house of horror, you'll be able to enjoy a long hayride through the woods. Without spoiling too much of the surprise, just be sure to keep your wits about you, as not everything is always as it seems. The smell of hay, tractor fumes, and blood is appetizing at times, making me curious about my own sanity, but I courageously progress forward, as there is no turning back once the journey into the woods begin. Overall, the Haunted Hilltop ghouls outdid themselves for the 2013 year. A huge staff, expert work in claustrophobia-induced fear, animatronics, storydriven surprises, and a relaxing bonfire with food and drinks tops off an incredible night of fun, fear, and freaks. Check them out and be sure to bring a group of friends to help keep you alive till the end. They are located at 8235 Hwy 58 in Harrison. Tickets are priced at $20. For more information, check out


Haunted Houses & Events Acres of Darkness Haunted Trail Chattanooga Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Road Hours/Dates: 8-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturday Evenings, October 18-26 Tickets: $15 Web: Blowing Screams Farm 271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Ga. Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night in October. Tickets: $16 Blowing Screams Farm; $20 Combo ticket Web: Chattanooga Ghost Tours 138 Market Street Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night in October. Tickets: Tour $15 adults, $10 children; Kids 12-under are free Web: Dreamnight: Boo in the Zoo! 301 North Holtzclaw Avenue Hours/Dates: 5:30-8:30p.m. October 18, 19, 24, 25, & 26 Tickets: $8.95 adults and $5.95 kids 3-12 Web: Enchanted Maize 271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Ga. Features: “Another YEar of Corny Fun.” Hours/Dates: ThursdaysSundays through Oct. 30. Tickets: $9 adults, $7 children Web: Halloween Eerie Express Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Road Hours/Dates: October 11, 12, 18, 19, 25 & 26; Trains depart at 7:45 p.m. Tickets: $22 ages 2 and up Web: The Haunted Barn 5107 McDonald Road, McDonald Hours/Dates: 7-10 p.m. , Friday and Saturdays in October. Tickets: $18 Web:

Haunted Cavern Ruby Falls 1720 South Scenic Highway Hours/Dates: 8 p.m. Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in October (including Oct. 31). Tickets: $21 online; $23 at the door; $17 Sundays Web: Haunted Hilltop 8235 Highway 58 Hours/Dates: 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October (including Oct. 31) Tickets: $20 for the Haunted House, Haunted Maze and Haunted Hayride. Free parking. Web: Lake Winnepaspookah 1730 Lakeview Drive, Rossville Hours/Dates: 6-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October. Tickets: $24 Web: Monster Barn 4431 Shackleford Ridge Road, Signal Mountain Hours/Dates: 7:30-10:45 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October. Tickets: $10 per person Web: Mystery Dog Ranch 975 Wooten Road, Ringgold, GA Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. Oct. 11, 12, 18, 19, 25, 26 Tickets: $10 Web: Redneck Zombie Paintball 490 County Road 67, Riceville, Hours/Dates: Friday and Saturday nights 7-11 p.m. and Halloween Tickets: $15 Web: Sir Gooney’s Haunted Carnival 5918 East Brainerd Road Hours/Dates: Doors open at 7:30 p.m. every weekend in October through Halloween. Tickets: $20 Web: Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN

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a purchase of $50.00 or more.

Expires October 24, 2013. Only at this location. Limit one coupon per customer. Cannot be combined with any other offer or discount.

Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN HE2184-5.25x10.4-PulseMgz-ChattanoogaTN-4c.indd 1

Pulse 8:17 AM • october 10-16, 2013 • The9/20/13 • 17


Fri. & Sat. Nights

At the foot of Lookout Mountain 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd Flintstone, Georgia 30725 Phone 706-820-2531

sponsored by

In Partnership with


Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun nights! Save on Sundays - buy your online ticket today. Not recommended for young children, parental discretion is advised. 18 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •


rich bailey

From Jamaican Streetlights to Kilowatt Currency Chattanooga company in forefront of global energy switch Chattanooga is full of surprises. A small tech company you've probably never heard of is turning streetlights on and off in Jamaica and unintentionally creating an informal currency backed by kilowatts in the West African nation of Benin. Mike Harrison is co-owner of Utiliflex, a Chattanooga company that is a global provider of software and smart meters, allowing utilities around the world—including Jamaica—to sell prepaid electricity. So one day, after its Utiliflex system was in place, the Jamaican power company asked for help in tracking down suspected power theft from people tapping into streetlights. By overlaying usage data on maps, from his office in Chattanooga Harrison was able to isolate areas where certain streetlights were using 20 times more power than their neighbors... during the day, no less. "Maurice the project manager in Jamaica goes, 'Hey, can you turn these off?' I said, 'Well, not today, but give me until tomorrow.' So we built a little interface," says Harrison. "I like making stuff work." Harrison started Chattanooga's first local Internet service provider, Chattanooga Online, in 1994. "The Internet technologies I have a long history with work well in developing countries with limited infrastructure," he says. "The education I got building Chattanooga Online is now being used building networks for utility companies." (Full disclosure: Mike and I were tag team Internet evangelists together in 1995, after we collaborated on a project that created Chattanooga's first civic web

presence that year: Sustainable Development Online.) The electric utility in Benin is another Utiliflex client that, like most, began small and is expanding rapidly. "The system is so successful they are going from 30,000 to several hundred thousand customers as fast as they can put the meters in," he says. "In developing countries, they can't afford what we do upfront, so they pay over time as they add customers. We don't make any money up front, but long-term we should make pretty good money, and we're starting to." The Utiliflex business model is similar to software-as-a-service, in which companies pay a monthly fee for the use of a software package rather than purchasing it outright. Utiliflex works with a partner company that sells smart meters. "We do run it as a service for some customers, but most utilities want it installed at the utility inside the country," says Harrison. "So we will license the software and provide our services in a software-as-service pricing model, but we're actually installing it onsite. It allows them to afford it." According to Harrison, prepaid electricity in developing countries can function like an alternative currency. Kilowatts can be purchased and transferred via text message or through scratch cards with 20-digit access codes that are entered directly into the

smart meter or communicated to the power company. The Benin utility recently bought scratch cards worth 11.4 billion West African Francs, or more than 20 million U.S. dollars. "They were printed in Ohio using our encryptions and private closed-loop system," says Harrison. "It becomes an informal currency backed by kilowatts. We see this in several places. One of the things our system allows you to do is transfer wallet balances in the utility system from person to person." Aside from a project in North Dakota, all of Utiliflex's clients are in developing countries. In addition to Benin and Jamaica, the company works with utilities in St. Martin's, Guyana, Dominica, Philippines and Honduras, and has multiple projects in South Africa, Nigeria and the Dominican Republic. Harrison's co-owner and senior partner is Joe Gordon, who started the company by purchasing a prepaid electric technology distributorship from his former employer, Tennessee Valley Infrastructure Group, seven or eight years ago. Gordon and other employees provide expertise in business consulting, marketing and finance, while Harrison is "the make-it-work person." Utiliflex's system is a Linuxbased platform written completely in-house that can manage every aspect of a modern utility, including prepaid and postpaid electrical service, although the company works almost exclusively with prepaid. Their system provides detail or summary data to large accounting systems, performs complex tariff calculations for large customers, generates government tax I.D numbers, and

manages multiple payment gateway channels. The company's first installation was in Guyana, where the World Bank was footing the bill for a prepaid system that was capable of running the entire country's electric utilities. Now, four years later, Harrison is returning to Guyana at the end of the month to upgrade system hardware and software. "It the U.S. mentality, prepaid is only for the poor," says Harrison. "In reality, I think prepaid is for the smart." One advantage is environmental. He says statistics show prepaid customers use 15-20 percent less power than others because

they are not using more electricity than they can afford. Prepaid electricity is also cheaper for people living paycheck to paycheck, who may pay high fees to reconnect power that has been shut off for nonpayment. For someone on a prepaid system, he says, "Your lights go out, you just go buy juice, no penalty." "I think it's coming in the U.S. as utilities slowly upgrade archaic legacy systems," he says. "EPB is at the bleeding edge, but a lot are farther behind and still trying to figure some of it out. Overseas, people are building their second and third systems and looking for upgrades and new feature sets." • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 19


janis hashe

The Play’s the Thing —For 30 Hours ETC tries setting Guinness record with “The Bald Soprano"

We'll be giving prizes to audience members who stay the longest, both consecutively and cumulatively.

Is it absurd to try to do a play for 30 consecutive hours—if, in doing so, you set the Guinness Book of World Records’ mark for “longest dramatic performance”? The Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga will try to do just that—fittingly using a play by absurdist playwright Eugene Ionesco as the piece in question. “ ‘The Bald Soprano is not written to be 30 hours long,” says director John Cecil Thomas. “It's a 37-page script written to begin again at the end with two couples switching roles. When I was researching the show, I discov-

20 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

ered there is a Guinness World Record for longest dramatic performance by a theatre performing ‘The Bald Soprano’— just under 24 hours. We discussed it and decided to pursue setting a new world record. We wanted to challenge ourselves and attempt to set the new record considerably higher in the hope of holding the record for a long time.” Romanian playwright Ionesco wrote the play in 1957 while he was attempting to learn English. The often-ridiculous dialogues used in language lessons fascinated and amused him, so he wrote a piece originally called “English Without Toil”, which he changed to “It’s Raining Cats and Dogs”. According to theatre lore, it acquired its final title after a verbal slip made by an actor in rehearsal. In the play, t h e

Smiths, a traditional English couple, have invited another couple, the Martins, over for dinner. They are joined later by the Smiths' maid, Mary, and the local fire chief, who is also Mary's lover. The two families engage in meaningless banter, telling stories and relating nonsensical poems. Ionesco did, apparently, mean for “The Bald Soprano” to be performed as a continuous “loop”, with stage directions instructing that the performance starts over again. After the original 100th performance, he added the instruction that the Martins would substitute for the Smiths in the second run-through, the two couples alternating back and forth for as long the performance lasted. “All the actors are not on stage for the entirety of the performance,” says Cecil, answering a basic logistics question. “When they are offstage they will take breaks, eat, use the restroom and even catch a possible five-minute cat nap. But there are no breaks between the repetitions of the show, so ever y thing has to happen while the show car r ies o n . ” Cast

members include Janni Ball, Zach DeSutter, Christy Gallo, Megan Hollenbeck, Sanford Knox Jr. and Jeremy Wilkins. But what about the audience? Are there intrepid souls willing to take on a 30-hour marathon performance? “I honestly hope so,” says Cecil. “This is an opportunity it is to witness history in the making—and it's happening right here in Chattanooga. We'll be giving prizes to audience members who stay the longest, both consecutively and cumulatively.” Guinness records require documentation, but ETC has that covered. Says Cecil, “We’ve received their packet of documentation that must be filled out to submit at the completion of the attempt. Included with that will be official timekeepers’ statements, video recording of the entire event and individual professional witness statements by professionals in the field of theatre.” Will the lure of a world record be enough for performers and audience? We’ll find out when the company makes its attempt starting Friday, Oct. 25 at 7:30, running through early morning Sunday, Oct. 27. (For the fainter of heart who would still like to see the absurdist classic, more traditional performances will play 7:30 Oct. 18-19, and 2:30 Oct. 20.) “The Bald Soprano,” Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (inside Eastgate Town Center). For tickets and more information, call (423) 987-5141 or visit ensembletheatreofchattanooga. com

Spirits Within

mike dobbs

The Company Gin Keeps Our man on the bar stool mixes it up at Terra Mae “I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.” — M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, "Ceasefire," 1973

Don't despair, Gin, you're in good company. • Famously known for the martini, which James Bond prefers shaken, not stirred. • Auntie Mame said, "Stir. Never shake. It bruises the gin." Both, of course, were wrong. You can put it in a centrifuge as far as I'm concerned—as long as it gets the job done. I'm by no means a connoisseur but I know what I like—and this week I'm into gin. It's been sliding down the throats of everyone from royalty to reprobates (and sometimes both at the same time) for 400 years. Back in the Middle Ages,, a Dutch physician was sitting around doing a lot of nothing because the last episode of "Breaking Bad" hadn't been aired yet. So, he and some old college buddies went out to do some reindeer tipping and got the clever idea of spicing up his favorite bland imbibement. Seeing as the

Bi-Lo was closed, he began picking berries off the nearest bush and, "Kijken!" (that's Dutch for voila)...Gin. During the following years, various companies refined this recipe and created a plethora of distinct brands—and with these, brought the humble gin into its own. I recently had the pleasure of running a very civilized gauntlet through some of the more distinguished brands of this ilk at Terra Mae with gentlemanly bar master Justin Stamper. When he greeted me, he was boiling up a caldron of spices and I swear I heard him reciting lines from “Macbeth.” I strapped myself in a comfy stool and handed him the keys. I thought I must already be in my cups, because he became blurry with liquid motion as he pulled bottles and glasses and ice and various shiny instruments of undefined origin from thin air and began his alchemy.

The first treat on the menu this evening was the classic Martinez. For this, Justin went with the Tangueray No. 10 because of its stout bouquet and sweet citrus infusion. This, paired with orange bitters, Lejon sweet vermouth and Luxardo maraschino liqueur, is the perfect early October afternoon cocktail. It's a flavor that makes you ask, "Is it late summer or early fall?" Right now, it's both. Less talk, more monkey. Now we were getting somewhere. Before my fingertips assumed room temperature again, there was "Justin on the Spot" sliding over a spooky-looking number called Aviation. My first thought was, “This would look really boss under a black light!” Aviation Gin is one of the new breed of American gins that's more subdued than your classic London dry and was chosen for this little number because of its clean floral and citrus undertones that, when mixed with lemon juice, make up the top two-thirds of this layered cocktail. In itself, that’s a treat. But slow down, Speedy, there's more. On the bottom, you'll eventu-



ly owned ally ownedsince since1961 1961 ned since 1961 COMPANY

shift away from the PIRIT WHOLESALERS overabundance of Follow us Follow on Facebook us on Facebook Follow us Follow on Twitter us on Twitter Athens Distributing Athens Distributing Company Company Chattanooga Chattanooga @athenschatt @athenschatt juniper toward a more forward balance of Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Visit Visit ourChattanooga website: our website: Follow us on Facebook Follow@athenschatt us on Twitter Athens Distributing Company botanicals. Distilled Follow us Company on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Athens Distributing Chattanooga @athenschatt Follow us on ncebook Facebook Follow usTwitter on Twitter in small batches and Visit our website: Athens Distributing Company Chattanooga @athenschatt pany Chattanooga @athenschatt ompany Chattanooga @athenschatt Visit our website: bottled at 84 proof.

Visit our website: bsite: website: Follow us on Twitter


Justin Stamper, Bartender at Terra Mae

fait D'amour...a sweet rose and vanilla liqueur. Bang! How yoo dooin'? As I sat grinning at the bottom of the glass like a dog that's just been shown a card trick, my faithful new best pal hit me with his best shot. I highly recommend hooking up with a selection of gins this

season and had a righteous time tripping the gin fantastic up on Tenth Street. Slipping out the door into the continuing 80-degree heat though, I'm reminded there's not a reindeer to be tipped in a thousand miles. Yet. Editor’s note: Welcome to our weekly Spirits Within column. Look for some great tips and ideas for upcoming holiday entertaining—or just a special pleasure at home.

Athens Distributing recommends these fine spirits...



ally discover a dark purple pit of Luxardo m a r a s c h i no and Marie Blizzard Par-

Angel’s Envy Bourbon

Short Mountain ‘Shine

Maestro Dobel Tequila

Aged up to 6 years, and finished in ruby port wine casks. Hand blended in very small batches, this bourbon has a taste profile unlike any other.

Made from corn grown and stone milled on a 300 acre working farm in Cannon County, Tennessee. True Tennessee shine, made by real moonshiners!

Double distilled from 100% blue agave cactus, then matured in Hungarian White Oak barrels and filtered for exceptional smoothness and clarity.

@athenschatt • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

October Weekends

Arts & Entertainment


Brentano String Quartet

for more info call 706.820.2531

See Come join the Fall Fun!

rs Open Thu to Sun

Open at S & i r F Nights

THUrsday 10.10 TN Civil War 150 Years Sesquicentennial All day. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 FALL in Love With Art Camp-Day 1 1 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Ooltewah Farmer’s Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co. Inc., 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 String Theory: The Brentano String Quartet 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, Family Canoeing on North Chickamauga Creek 6 p.m. Greenway Farm, 5051 Gann Store Rd. (423) 643-6888, “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Violin (pallet knife painting) 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, CSO: “Lincoln Portrait” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583, Landry 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch,

22 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “The Mousetrap” 7:30 p.m. Lee University, Church and 11th St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343,

friday 10.11 TN Civil War 150 Years Sesquicentennial All day. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 FALL in Love With Art Camp-Day 2 1 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Artful Yoga-Special Family Session 1:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, Lake WinnepeSPOOKah 6 p.m. Lake Winnie, 1730 Lakeview Dr. (706) 866-5681, “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Lookout Mountain 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “Ragtime” 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931 )484-5000, “Oklahoma” 7:30 p.m. Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Cir., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000, Landry 7:30 p.m, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “The Mousetrap” 7:30 p.m. Lee University, Church and 11th St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343, Halloween Eerie Express and Funhouse 7:45 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, “Pride and Prejudice” 8 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 419-1051, Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern 8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 Lookout Mountain Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544, Kris Shaw 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

saturday 10.12 TN Civil War 150 Years Sesquicentennial All day. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Color and Wildlife Cruise, “Hawk Watch” 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, “Pride and Prejudice” 2:30 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 419-1051,

“Ragtime” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Banana Split 3 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 503-3888, “Mystery of Flight 138” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, RevolFusion 2013 6 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave. (931) 484-5000, Banana Ball 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 503-3888, Lonely Tree in Fall 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Landry 7 p.m., 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “Oklahoma” 7:30 p.m. Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Cir., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000, “The Mousetrap” 7:30 p.m. Lee University, Church and 11th St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343, Halloween Eerie Express and Funhouse 7:45 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 8 p.m. Cumberland County

Arts & Entertainment


Banana Ball

naturally wonderful

Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern 8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 Lookout Mountain Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544, “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Kris Shaw 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

sunday 10.13 Cut Up for Life 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St., “To Kill a Mockingbird” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931 )484-5000, “The Mousetrap” 7:30 p.m. Lee University, Church and 11th St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343, Landry 7 p. m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern 8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 Lookout Mountain Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544, Dennis Palmer Date Night Movies 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave.

(423) 624-5347,

monday 10.14 “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 1 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “The Mousetrap” 2:30 p.m. Lee University, Church and 11th St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343, Dragon Fly 5:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

tuesday 10.15 Work Smart, Live Well 10 a.m.The Salvation Army, 2140 E 28th St. “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 1 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, White Flowers 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

wednesday 10.16 Work Smart, Live Well 10 a.m. The Salvation Army,

2140 E 28th St. 30th Anniversary Luncheon with Judy Smith (“Scandal”) 11:30 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 267-1076, Red Shoe 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

ongoing Enchanted MAiZE 9 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. Blowing Springs Farm, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, ODDtober 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. daily. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, Magic Tree House traveling exhibit 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sun. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” through October 13 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Thur., 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Fri.-Sat, Noon - 5 p.m. Sun. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, “Narrative Gestures” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, “Animals and Pets” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri. Reflection Gallery, 6922

Lee Hwy., (423) 892-3072, For All The World To See: Visual Culture and The Struggle for Civil Rights 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri., Noon- 4 p.m. Sat. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658, “FRESH” 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, “Texture and Glaze” 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, “Icons in Transformation” 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Tues-Fri., 10 a.m. - Noon Sat St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W 7th St. (423) 266-8195, Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. Blowing SCREAMS Farm 7 p.m. Blowing Springs Farm, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly. The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125,


Open Weeke


Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 23





john devore

In Paradise Gardens With Dennis and Bob Local filmmaker Lee Shook captures a powerful moment in time

3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351

This could be yours...

24 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

lf portrait, oil on plywood. d Finster se Howar

Buy. Sell. Trade.


he Shaking Ray Levi Foundation is celebrating 28 years of music and innovation, and cofounder and Shaking Ray Levi Bob Stagner says their Old Timey Avante Garde series is “more than a series—it’s really become a way of life.” The series started this year at Barking Legs Theater on the first weekend in October and is centered around the a birthday celebration for the late Dennis Palmer, co-founder of both the band The Shaking Ray Levis and the nonprofit arts education organization The Shaking Ray Levi Society. The series boasts performances from some of the top improvisational and composed music performers in the world. Of special note, however, is the Dennis Palmer Date Night, an entire evening dedicated to experimental film that features a short piece from filmmaker Lee Shook capturing the personal and profound influence of Howard Finster on The Shaking Levi Society. The film takes the audience on a tour through folk artist Howard Finster’s Paradise Gardens, guided by none other than Dennis

Palmer and Bob Stagner, the Shaking Ray Levis themselves. For the uninitiated, Howard Finister was an influential folk artist who lived and worked just over the state line in North Georgia. Shook says that his interest in Finster “dates back to late high school and early college when I first saw the 'Athens Inside/Out' documentary and realized that he had done the cover art for so many of my favorite records.” According to Shook, “[Finster] was a constant source of inspiration for me as a young artist living the Deep South, just like he was to people like Dennis and Bob so many years before. “The more I think about it, the more I'm in absolute disbelief that I've been touched by that history in such a personal way,” Shook says. “I feel a profound connection to both Finster and the Shaking Ray Levis for the very same reason: They were visionaries. And in a place—both a physical and intellectual landscape—that didn't always support and understand them. I have nothing but the utmost respect for their lives and art, because they were truly trailblazers in their own unique ways. Never ceases to amaze me.” The 50-minute piece walks us through the installation as Palmer and Stagner describe the various pieces and the stories behind them, giving unique insight into the life and work of an extraordinarily influential man. Stagner says, “I know that every time I would visit the garden, either by myself or with Dennis, I would always come back with how much work was left to be done. He was an incredible visionary. Visionary doesn’t cover the word…and I can’t think of a better way for folks to be gently introduced to his work.” The film depicts the personal connection between the Shaking Ray Levis and Rev. Howard Finster. Shook calls Stagner/Palmer and Finster “kindred spirits… just drawn

inspired a lot of people. He inspired the Shaking Ray Levi Society, and in return the Shaking Ray Levi Society did our absolute best to take care of Howard Finster while he was on the planet. Now while he’s visiting other planets.” Fans of the SRLS, or those who are looking to expand their horizons will learn about a unique and powerful destination for anyone with an interest in folk and outsider art. As for the film itself, the raw footage captures the personalities and thoughts of two of Chattanooga’s most influential artists. Without a doubt, the Old Timey



Howard Finster

together like magnets.” Stagner says, “Howard Finster was a dear friend and was very focused on the idea of improvisation and the new thought… and making sure that the ideals Paradise Gardens behind improvisation were recognized in art. It was an special pieces and describing amazing friendship and menthe man and his work, the torship. He recognized how we breadth of the relationship were working early on, and I between the artists and the think in some ways he felt a litinfluence of the work becomes tle bit isolated and recognized evident. They describe how the some of the art he was making garden was, how it is, and how in our work.” The film is unthey hope it to be. For a time, edited and uncut—filmmaker Finster’s gardens had fallen Lee Shook wants to make clear into disrepair, but the Shakthat it isn’t a documentary so ing Ray Levi Society has been much as “a brief moment in influential in restoring it to its time captured for posterity's former glory, striving to mainsake.” tain some of Finster’s legacy As Palmer and Stagner wanfor future generations. Stagder the gardens, searching for ner says, “[Howard Finster]

Avante Garde series has something for everyone. The Shaking Ray Levis continue to make art for the common man, for the artists—and for everyone in between. “Dennis Palmer Date Night Movies,” 8 p.m. Sunday, October 13. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Free admission.

Chattanooga’s Premier Comedy Club

Thursday $9.00 Friday & Saturday $14.00 3224 Brainerd Road, Chattanooga, TN Advance Tickets: (423) 529-2233 • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 25

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Blair Crimmons, gospel singer Anitra Jay, Laura Monk & Highcotton, rock band “Aaxis,” Christian Youth Theater featuring: and others - including a special appearance from Blair Crimmons, gospel singer Anitra Jay, Laura Monk & Xena the Warrior Puppy

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26 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •







Next Week in

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative


Pickin’ & Grinnin’ with Chattanooga’s Folk School




19-20 • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

rob brezsny

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The advice I’m about to dispense may have never before been given to Libras in the history of horoscopes. It might also be at odds with the elegance and decorum you like to express. Nevertheless, I am convinced that it is the proper counsel. I believe it will help you make the most out of the highly original impulses that are erupting and flowing through you right now. It will inspire you to generate a mess of fertile chaos that will lead to invigorating long-term innovations. Ready? The message comes from Do the Work, a book by Steven Pressfield: “Stay primitive. The creative act is primitive. Its principles are of birth and genesis.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Two years ago a British man named Sean Murphy decided he had suffered enough from the painful wart on his middle finger. So he drank a few beers to steel his nerves, and tried to blast the offending blemish off with a gun. The operation was a success in the sense that he got rid of the wart. It was less than a total victory, though, because he also annihilated most of his finger. May I suggest that you not follow Murphy’s lead, Scorpio? Now is a good time to part ways with a hurtful burden, but I’m sure you can do it without causing a lot of collateral damage. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Grace has been trickling into your life lately, but I suspect that it may soon start to flood. A spate of interesting coincidences seems imminent. There’s a good chance that an abundance of tricky luck will provide you with the leverage and audacity you need to pull off minor miracles. How much slack is available to you? Probably as much as you want. So ask for it! Given all these blessings, you are in an excellent posi-

to write for you by the first week of December: “Congratulations, Aquarius! Your quest for freedom has begun to bear tangible results. You have escaped a habit that had subtly undermined you for a long time. You are less enslaved to the limiting expectations that people push on you. Even your monkey mind has eased up on its chatter and your inner critic has at least partially stopped berating you. And the result of all this good work? You are as close as you have ever come to living your own life—as opposed to the life that other people think you should live.”

tion to expunge any cynical attitudes or jaded theories you may have been harboring. For now at least, it’s realistic to be optimistic. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn innovator Jeff Bezos built from the ground up. He now owns The Washington Post, one of America’s leading newspapers. It’s safe to say he might have something to teach us about translating big dreams into practical realities. “We are stubborn on vision,” he says about his team. “We are flexible in details.” In other words, he knows exactly what he wants to create, but is willing to change his mind and be adaptable as he carries out the specific work that fulfills his goals. That’s excellent advice for you, Capricorn, as you enter the next phase of implementing your master plan. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s the horoscope I would like to be able

Stroll Back in History Forest Hills Cemetery

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “It’s an unbearable thought that roses were not invented by me,” wrote Russian poet Vladimir Mayakovsky. You’re not as egotistical as Mayakovsky, Pisces, so I doubt you’ve ever had a similar “unbearable thought.” And it is due in part to your lack of rampaging egotism that I predict you will invent something almost as good as roses in the coming weeks. It may also be almost as good as salt and amber and mist and moss; almost as good as kisses and dusk and honey and singing. Your ability to conjure up long-lasting beauty will be at a peak. Your creative powers will synergize with your aptitude for love to bring a new marvel into the world. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sometimes you quit games too early, Aries. You run away and dive into a new amusement before you have gotten all the benefits you can out of the old amusement. But I don’t think that will be your problem in the coming days. You seem more committed than usual to the ongoing process. You’re not going to bolt. That’s a good thing. This process is worth your devotion. But I also believe that right now you may need to

say no to a small part of it. You’ve got to be clear that there’s something about it you don’t like and want to change. If you fail to deal with this doubt now, you might suddenly quit and run away somewhere down the line. Be proactive now and you won’t be rash later. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Jugaad is a Hindi-Urdu word that can be translated as “frugal innovation.” People in India and Pakistan use it a lot. It’s the art of coming up with a creative workaround to a problem despite having to deal with logistical and financial barriers. Masters of jugaad call on ingenuity and improvisation to make up for sparse resources. I see this as your specialty right now, Taurus. Although you may not have abundant access to VIPs and filthy riches, you’ve nevertheless got the resourcefulness necessary to come up with novel solutions. What you produce may even turn out better than if you’d had more assets to draw on.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “I’d rather be in the mountains thinking of God than in church thinking about the mountains,” said the naturalist John Muir. Let that serve as your inspiration, Virgo. These days, you need to be at the heart of the hot action, not floating in a cloud of abstract thoughts. The dream has to be fully embodied and vividly unfolding all around you, not exiled to wistful fantasies that flit through your mind’s eye when you’re lonely or tired or trying too hard. The only version of God that’s meaningful to you right now is the one that feeds your lust for life in the here and now.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired,” wrote Nikos Kazantzakis in his book Report to Greco. I’m hoping that when you read that

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28 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “It is truly strange how long it takes to get to know oneself,” wrote the prominent 20th-century philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein. “I am now 62 years old, yet just one moment ago I realized that I love lightly toasted bread and loath bread when it is heavily toasted. For over 60 years, and quite unconsciously, I have been experiencing inner joy or total despair at my relationship with grilled bread.” Your assignment, Leo, is to engage in an intense phase of selfdiscovery like Wittgenstein’s. It’s time for you to become fully conscious of all the small likes and dislikes that together shape your identity.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In accordance with your current astrological omens, I authorize you to be like a bird in the coming week—specifically, like a bird as described by the zoologist Norman J. Berrill: “To be a bird is to be more intensely alive than any other living creature. Birds have hotter blood, brighter colors, stronger emotions. They live in a world that is always present, mostly full of joy.” Take total advantage of the soaring grace period ahead of you, Gemini. Sing, chirp, hop around, swoop, glide, love the wind, see great vistas, travel everywhere, be attracted to hundreds of beautiful things, and do everything.


Noon-5pm • Saturday, Oct. 26

statement, Cancerian, you will feel a jolt of melancholy. I’m hoping you will get a vision of an exciting experience that you have always wanted but have not yet managed to bring into your life. Maybe this provocation will goad you into finally conjuring up the more intense desire you would need to actually make your dream come true.

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Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

is looking for a few good

“Understand?”-- I hope you do. Across 1 Chocolate sources 7 “Dude! Gross!” 10 Confettithrowing Taylor 13 Mike’s Hard Lemonade or Bacardi Breezers 14 Place for SpongeBob’s pineapple 15 Classical ___ 16 Diamond attendant 17 I piece? 18 Holstein or Guernsey 19 Shrinking sea of Asia 20 Emergency signals 23 Rose-like flower 26 Ending for theater or party 27 Atlanta sch. 28 What a hand stamp permits at a concert 31 Clean, on-screen 34 Mobster’s weapon 35 Fortune-ate folks? 37 Pre-med subj. 38 Van Susteren of TV news 40 Members ___ jacket

41 Band-wrecking first name 42 Sprint rival 43 Jazz bandleader Stan 45 Like healing crystals and biorhythms 47 Suffix for south or west 48 Hathaway of “Get Smart” 49 Formed teams of two 54 Wealthy socialite 57 “Going Back to ___” (LL Cool J single) 58 “___ y Plata” (Montana’s motto) 59 Andy Warhol portrait subject 60 German word in a U2 album title 63 RSVP part 64 “Where did ___ wrong?” 65 Hunter’s gatherer 66 Show with a FiveTimers Club, for short 67 Manual alphabet, briefly 68 Chips away at

Down 1 American Red Cross founder Barton 2 Happy as ___ 3 Athens, Ohio and Athens, Georgia, for two 4 Police dispatch, for short 5 Tic-tac-toe win 6 Genre for James Bond or Austin Powers 7 Beef-grading govt. agency 8 Actor-turned-Facebook humormonger 9 Deride 10 Like some themes 11 Do a laundry job 12 Hound’s hands 13 Scheme for a quatrain 21 Like some crossword books 22 Jump online, or a hint to the long theme answers 24 1960s drug 25 They say where your plane will land 29 Fill up on

30 Modern day “carpe diem” 31 Light beam 32 “Author unknown” byline 33 Do major damage 36 Roget’s wd. 39 Highway: abbr. 44 Commit a mistake 46 Red blood cell deficiency 50 “___ in Harlem” 51 French stew with beef, wine and garlic 52 Arm bones 53 “Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop” singer Landon ___ 54 Whedon who created the Buffyverse 55 “Happy Days” actress Moran 56 Maynard James Keenan band 61 “The Price Is Right” prize 62 Org. for docs

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0644

Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or profile—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills. If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse.


Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to: • october 10-16, 2013 • The Pulse • 29

On the Beat

alex teach

Take a Number, Please “Jesus, Gary, what were you thinking? We’ve got, like, an hour left on shift,” I said as we cruised up Brainerd Road past what used to be a mall and is now a… well, hell, I don’t know. Big office building with chain restaurants inside? “We couldn’t leave him there, man,” my partner said. “He was going to get his ass kicked or run over, and that would take a lot longer than booking him for public intox.” “Well, how the hell do you ever expect a drunk to learn to fend for himself if we keep holding his dirty-ass hand like this? Children have to stop crawling someday.” My partner was right, of course, but I still had every reason to be annoyed. I was off starting tomorrow and had a free breakfast at Wally’s on McCallie waiting on me, and that was shot to shit thanks to what’s-hisname back there. “Hey, sir,” said an unsteady voice from the backseat. “Can you turn the A/C on back here?” I raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement even though I wasn’t facing him. I didn’t have to talk; I was working, and he was my job. I reached down to turn the fan up a few notches since the A/C was already on, but

Am I going to make bond? I think I’ll get fired over this.” Another pause. “I’m screwed.

30 • The Pulse • october 10-16, 2013 •

then again, it always is in a police car. “Thanks,” our customer said, which went ignored as words from the backseat often do. Who listens, unless the words are “You missed my gun” or “I think I need to go to the hospital”? One is obvious and the other means two to three hours tacked on to what is already an unnecessarily lengthy process. “Too, shy shy,” my partner whispered randomly. “Hush hush, eye to eye…” His head bobbed as he recited this, but I didn’t even hear goofy shit like this anymore, it was so common. Our guy in the backseat looked on confusedly. “They better not be backed up,” I interrupted. “Hannon’s working intake tonight and I swear to God, I can’t take another second of his mouth.” “He’s a nice guy, man, just be patient with him.” He’d stopped humming ’80s lyrics. “He thinks the moon follows him, Gary. That’s not ‘nice’, that’s crazy. He means that shit, and it creeps me out.” My partner paused, because this was all true. In-shape smartass or not, it was undeniable and it was late in the shift for an arrest. We turned a curve too

sharply, and our customer in the back fell over to his right and decided to stay there for a moment. “Did you get Sarge the vehicle inspection info tonight?” Gary had wisely decided to change the subject. “No, but I will. He’s probably milling around in Wal-Mart again anyway. What an asshole. At least somebody’s covering our team area tonight,” I said, hooking a thumb at my chest. “Why are we working if he’s not?” “You don’t know what he’s doing right now, don’t sweat him.” “Whatever. It’s still bullshit.” “Hey!” said the louder but still shaky voice from the back seat. “How weird. You’re just like everybody else! Your bosses suck, your pay sucks….wow, I thought you’d be all serious and this would be like TV. You’re just…regular people, though.” He paused, and apparently then looked inward. “Am I going to make bond? I think I’ll get fired over this.” Another pause. “I’m screwed.” My partner glanced back briefly without ever moving his eyes, and said, “Yeah. Yep.” This poor guy was in the back seat, headed to jail. The proverbial big house, the “clink”, and in all this is something that being chained up and having your free-

doms removed rates as a “Pretty Big Deal” to most folks. But despite the emotional charge, his hosts were rocky islands well acquainted with travelers such as he. And accordingly, apathetic as hell towards his plight. He was just another docket number. “Come on, man,” my partner said to me. “Cheer up. I’ll buy breakfast.” “We’re eating breakfast?” said the soul in the backseat. “I don’t think I can eat. I think I need to go to the hospital.” And at that, I locked eyes with my partner as we clenched our jaws, because at that our guest finally gained his identity amongst us, and we were suddenly none too pleased with it. What is a big deal to you, is a big deal to you. But bear in mind… no matter how big an issue it may be, no matter the repercussions for you, there are going to be many people who simply do not give one shit, and odds are, the ones in the seat ahead of you will be at the front of that line. Farewell, traveler. Pack your bags if you wish, but leave room for empathy. Call your mom, your wife, and your girlfriend from jail if you need that…for it does not live here in the Police Crown Victoria.

The Pulse 10.41 » October 10, 2013  

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