Page 1

September 26

Vol. 10 • No. 39


igniting the gig public private tech patnership

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Sweet Home Chattanooga

The search for new housing

MUSIC mythical motors arts capture-ing the city theater prometheus bound


Managing Editor Mike McJunkin Contributing Editors Janis Hashe • Gary Poole


Contributors Alex Teach • John DeVore • Rob Brezsny Janis Hashe • Rich Bailey • Matt Jones Marc T. Michael • Ernie Paik • Rick Weaver Gary Poole • Mike McJunkin • Joshua Hurley Editorial Intern Chelsea Sokol • Keith King Photographer Josh Lang Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow • Max Cannon Jen Sorensen • Sketch Crowd

Derek Sheen

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull


Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware • Candice York Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer


Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website Email Calendar THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

Bryan Cook

Heather Thomson

Derek Sheen, comedy hobbit from Seattle, Heather Thomson, queen of gay cruises and Bryan Cook, on strike from “Fashion Police” hit JJ’s Bohemia at 9 p.m. Monday, Oct. 1 for the Chattanooga stop on the Angry Cuddles Comedy Tour. Time to cuddle up!

Prost!Good Friends. Good Food. Good Beer. 224 Frazier Avenue • 423.531.8490 Chattanooga’s German Gastropub

Sun. 11am-10pm • Mon.-Thurs. 11am-Midnight • Fri.-Sat. 11am-2am • • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 3



The state of cheese

Southern Artisan Cheese Festival If a trip to Nashville might feature in your weekend plans, our friends at Sequatchie Cove Farms will meet you there at the 3rd Annual Southern Artisan Cheese Festival on Saturday, Sept. 28 from 2:30 – 6 p.m. According to organizers, “Cheesemakers and food artisans from six states come together to celebrate the growing movement of handcrafted foods here in the South. Festival attendees sample any of hundreds of small-batch cheeses, cured meats, jams, breads, crackers, pickles, and more. The good folks who create these amazing foods are here to chat and will offer their goods for sale so you can take home your favorites. Regional craft beers and a selection of cheesefriendly wines are included w i t h y o u r ticket to sip while you nosh and socialize.” The venue this year is the historic Neuhoff Building, 1319


Adams St., Nashville. But get your tickets in advance ($45, $80 VIP) because it’s always a sell-out. tickets Sequatchie Cove also has muscadine grapes for the picking (make an appointment by calling 423-942-9207), and has a native plant sale going on as well. Sounds like it’s time for a road trip . . . —Staff

North Chattanooga Summit

Speak Up On the North Shore

“Government works best when we engage our citizens and respond to their needs,” said Councilman Chip Henderson, who, along with Councilman Jerry Mitchell, is co-sponsoring the summit. “Through the North Chattanooga Summit, local government and local citizens will have the opportunity to work alongside one another in pursuit of a common goal—to continue making the North Shore a great place to live, work and play.” For more information, contact Rebecca Potts at (423) 643-2299 or —Staff

Library Book Sale

North Shore dwellers will want to know that the Chattanooga Area Chamber of Commerce’s North Chattanooga Council and the NorthShore Merchants Collective are holding a North Chattanooga Summit Oct. 2 from 5:30 – 7 p.m. at The INCubator, 100 Cherokee Blvd. The event will focus on economic development and quality of life issues in the North Chattanooga area, and a panel of experts from the City of Chattanooga will discuss safety, zoning, traffic, signage and beautification. Following the panel discussion, attendees will participate in roundtable discussions, where they can voice concerns and help identify solutions for improving the North Shore community. 

Authors Invade Eastgate!

Stock up on books for yourself—not forgetting the holidays are around the corner—at the Friends of the Library Book

Sale, ongoing through Sunday inside Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. Perhaps best of all is a chance to support Chattanooga’s growing literary scene by buying a signed copy of a book by a local author. Participating authors are donating 20 percent of their profits to Friends of the Library, which “supports library initiatives not funded by the city, including literacy programs, staff appreciation and development and projects for children and teens.” Sale hours are 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. Thur-Sat and noon – 6 p.m. Sunday. Scheduled authors include: • Thursday, Sept. 26 11:30 a.m., Becky Wooley, humorous mystery; Noon, Janie Dempsey Watts, historical Southern fiction, 1 p.m., Karen Zacharias and Ann Hite, Southern fiction • Friday, Sept. 27 11 a.m., J.N. Howard, nonfiction; 1:30 p.m., Ellen Phillips, consumer advocacy • Saturday, Sept. 28 11 a.m., Michael Gardner, survivalist fiction; Noon, Lora Lindy, romantic suspense; 12:30 p.m., Victoria Thurman, humorous romance; 1 p.m., Bob Biles, political fiction; 1:30 p.m., Kathryn Primm, nonfiction • Sunday, Sept. 29 Noon, Grant Fetters, paranormal, adventure; 12:30 p.m., Finn Bille, poetry; 1 p.m., Thomas Balazs, dark comedy, short stories; 1:30 p.m., Lora Lindy, romantic suspense

Grace Frank Group: Your Downtown Home Guide For All Your Real Estate Needs


Invest Wisely

Buy Smart

When Selling

It’s Your Future

Best Values

4 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •




pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU09.26 THE PLANETS ALIGN CSO Masterworks Series: The Planets • Holst’s musical focus on the astrological aspects long associated with the planets and their mythological namesakes. 7:30 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583,

FRI09.27 AIN'T NO TRAGEDY LIKE GREEK “Prometheus Bound” • Chained to a rock at the end of the earth is where we find Prometheus, the god who forsook his own kind to bring fire and knowledge to humans. 7:30 p.m. • The Plow Building, 1604 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 5030589,

NEW YORK MEETS RUSSIA Jill Burton and Misha Feigin • Jill Burton’s extraordinary vocals

are joined by one of Russia's premier guitarists Misha Feigin for a performance you will remember for a long time.

8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

SAT09.28 HOVERING HOUNDS! 2013 Hyperflite Skyhoundz World Canine Disc Championship • This is the best of the best, with Saturday featuring the Open and Youth Division competitions, and Sunday finishing with the Sport, MicroDog and Pairs divisions. Good dog! 9:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. • Coolidge Park, 1 River St. (423) 643-6056,


“Wine Over Water” with Amber Fults, Broke Down Hound

Sundy Best

• Sample wines from more than 100 world wineries together on the Walnut Street Bridge, all to benefit Cornerstones, Chattanooga's only nonprofit Historic Preservation Organization. 5 p.m. • Walnut St Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 643-6096,

• A staple of the Kentucky music scene, the duo embrace an amalgamation of country, bluegrass, rock, soul, and rhythm and blues. 9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

rock out With your cork out 1/2 PRIcE bOTTlES OF WINE ON THURSDAy’S TIll clOSING! HAPPy HOUR NIGHTly FROm 3Pm - 7Pm


Not For Fun Haters “I Declare War" Saturday, Sept. 28 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave (423) 624-5347

If you’ve ever longed for the days of Big Wheels and highstakes Capture The Flag matches, then boy oh boy, have we got a movie for you!

mith’s Black s astro uB




mON - THU: 11Am-10Pm FRI-SAT: 11Am-mIDNIGHT SUN: 11Am-3Pm bRUNcH

809 mARkET STREET (423) 702-5461 • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

With the housing market poised for a comeback David Barlew Jr. talks with potential home buyers about how and where they are staking out turf photos by Josh Lang & Fred Flintstone

searching for

home sweet home I

t’s that time…that time when you’ve become obsessed with buying your own home, to the point of boring everyone you know with details about real estate. Or perhaps it’s time to downsize into a home closer in to Chattanooga’s most vibrant neighborhoods. The residential real estate market in Chattanooga’s downtown, Southside and North Shore has changed significantly in the past few years, thanks to the construction of many new single-family homes and multi-family housing developments. But what is the home-buying experience like for those looking in those markets? And how are they going about searching for the perfect home? To find out, The Pulse inter-

6 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

viewed pharmaceutical sales representative Desiree Frigo and sales professional Jon Kinsworthy about their experiences homeshopping. Both Kinsworthy and Frigo started by enlisting the assistance of realtors. “I am using Ryan King. He is sending me emails of new listings,” said Kinsworthy. “If something interests me, I go check it out. Once I home in on my top four or five, I will get input from other people.” Frigo, who is working with realtor Grace Frank, did a lot of research on Zillow and through the MLS to understand the local real estate market before talking with her realtor. Frigo is also receiving assistance from her mother, who happens to be a real-

tor. “My mom has been helping me with the search,” she said. “I grew up in real estate. It’s fun.” Chicago native Frigo currently rents on the Southside and wants to “get out of apartment life.” The motivation to change from apartment living to home ownership involves her need for more space and a desire for more convenient accessibility. “Instead of three flights of stairs, [I will] just walk in the front door,” she said. Frigo also has an eye towards building equity and taking advantage of a good buyers’ market. Kinsworthy, who has rented for ten years, echoed the need to abandon apartment life. “Every year, I have moved and have rented,” he said. He likes his job and would like to

Changes Ahead for City Housing? The Southside, downtown, and North Shore housing situation may be changing. A team of design professionals, headed by urban planner Christian Rushing, will soon draft a new City Center Plan for Chattanooga’s downtown area. The City Center Plan will address all matters of the downtown area’s built environment, including transportation and open space. Housing will be a “strong” component of the plan. Rushing’s team will host a design charette for the City Center Plan on October 7 at The Bessie Smith Cultural Center, which will be open to the public. The new plan will address sites including the 700 Block, the Civic Forum Block, and Patten Parkway. A draft version of the City Center Plan will be unveiled at Bessie Smith Hall on October 9 at 6 p.m. Design Charette for the new City Center Plan 5:30 p.m., October 7 The Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. For more information, contact the River City Company, (423) 265-3700,

anchor himself to Chattanooga with a home. Downtown Chattanooga’s vibrancy is influencing both fledgling homebuyers’ decisions. Downtown is full of life, said Frigo, referencing the many festivals held there. The Southside’s resemblance to her hometown, Chicago, is another draw for her, as are being close to major highways and being able to walk to the grocery store. Frigo commented that the Southside is unique and up-andcoming, noting that it provides the opportunity to purchase a home and watch the area develop. Downtown proximity spurred Kinsworthy, a Ringgold resident, to look for a single-family home on the Southside. Kinsworthy wants to be close to his place of employment, which is downtown. He noted that he works long hours and wants the ability to get home easily. Beyond convenience, he wants to be close to downtown’s “exciting buzz” and the new development happening there. Engagement with the city’s center drives these potential homebuyers, but it’s interaction with friends and family that influences their consideration of specific properties. Both Frigo and Kinsworthy cited an entertainment area as the most-desired home amenity. Kinsworthy and Frigo look forward to meeting their neighbors. Frigo noted building community is important to her and that mutual respect between neighbors is very important. “It’s great to meet neighbors from a safety perspective,” she said. “I would like a friendly neighborhood,” said Kinsworthy, who would prefer a neighborhood with block parties.

Other considerations include proximity to the free trolley, the attractiveness of the property, the condition of neighboring homes, the structural soundness of the home, and the installation of new equipment. Schools, too, influence Frigo and Kinsworthy’s decisions. “I don’t have any children,” said Frigo, “but I looked a lot at the elementary schools.” She wants to be comfortable with the schools in her district in case she stays in her new home for an extended period of time. Kinsworthy noted the schools in his district are not a big factor to him, but acknowledged that they could be a major factor for families purchasing his home. Parks influence these homebuyers’ decisions as well. “That’s an important piece; I like that the downtown area has parks,” said Frigo, adding that parks are important due to the area’s homes generally small yards. Kinsworthy commented, “I’m a runner, and I run through parks. I would like a nice place to unwind or go for a walk or run.” Although both homebuyers are satisfied by the Southside and downtown as areas, Frigo seemed less enthused by the area’s housing selection. While Kinsworthy expressed his happiness with the properties available, Frigo noted the challenge of finding a home on the Southside due to a lack of selections. She also expressed concerns about the common walls that separate townhouses from one another. “I try to keep an open mind about townhouses. Will I be comfortable sharing a wall with a townhouse?” she asked. Frigo expressed other concerns, such as properties’ structural soundness. “Some of the

An Architect’s Guide to House Hunting When shopping for a home, remember first and foremost that you are purchasing a structure. Try not to allow real estate “bling” (i.e. fancy finishes and other cosmetic details), to blind you to more important problems that can be very expensive and time-intensive to repair. Some things to look for include: • Dark or discolored floor joists. • Cracks in the foundation. • Small “tubes” that appear to be made of mud. • Metal jacks; these may be a sign that a floor has experienced sagging. • Leaking pipes. Water, though slower, can be more destructive than fire. When in the attic, things to look for include: • Dark or discolored rafters. • Wet spots on the roof sheathing, rafters, or attic floor. On the exterior of the home, look for: • Damaged, “flipped-up” or puckered roof shingles. • Sagging gutters. • Discolored brick masonry joints. Before purchasing any home, be sure to have it inspected by a reputable home inspector. These valuable professionals may be able to identify a property’s problems—before they become your problems. homes that need structural help are definitely not for me,” she said. Kinsworthy’s worries concern maintenance. “Something that is older would be a scary thing. I’m looking for low upkeep,” he said. wHe added that a fixer-upper or a house with a pool or big yard is a property he would avoid. Other concerns listed by Frigo and Kinsworthy include poor school districts, low resale values, bad community and crime. Still, both potential homebuy-

ers are enjoying their searches for homes. “It’s been fun—a lot of fun,” said Frigo, acknowledging however “the home buying process is a lot of work.” David Barlew, Jr. is a registered architect with the firm David R. Barlew Architects, Inc. He currently works with the local nonprofit Glass House Collective to revitalize Glass Street in East Chattanooga. • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 7

Now until Oct. 13 2011 423.267.0968 Whitfield Lovell (b. 1959), (My) Precarious Life, 2008, Conté on wood, wheel, 74 x 39.5 x 2.5 inches, Courtesy of the artist and DC Moore Gallery, New York

8 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •


rich bailey

Build It and They Will Gig?

US Ignite partners with Chattanooga into the tech future

Last week EPB dropped the price of ate a citywide gigabit network, but in what the air but no one knew what would hapChattanooga's famous gigabit Internet serfollowed the rollout: the Gig Tank summer pen. Kochan is reluctant to make sweeping vice from $300 a month to $70 per month incubator and year-round efforts to launch generalizations like that, but he seems to and upgraded customers with 100 and 250 technology start-ups, the Geek Hunt to atbe describing a different Internet. megabit-per-second service to the Gig, tract tech talent, the national technology "This kind of connectivity is transformabumping the number of Gig subscribers leaders that have been brought in as speaktive in that it allows for what I like to call from less than a dozen to more than 2,900. ers and consultants. the 'Internet immersion experience' that The Wall Street Journal (among other me"The work must continue and explain is moving away from the Internet that is dia) noticed, with a story on its blog. to the community how a network like the largely downloadable video, text and imTo get some perspective on what the one that's been deployed in Chattanooga ages," he said. "We're talking about an Inchange means, I spoke to Tim Kochan can be a step change in the community's ternet where you could have ongoing perwith US Ignite, a public-private partneroverall technology," said Kochan. "It's not sistent live connections" for health care, ship among the tech industry, government just a question of bandwidth. We're talking education, manufacturing and more. agencies and local communities that are about a network that can be used in a com"It's not just an incremental increase in deploying advanced technology. pletely different way to address community capacity," he said. "It is a tool that can bring US Ignite aims at roughly the same obneeds." about a tremendous amount of change. It's jective as Chattanooga's Gig Tank, only on I don't think it's too much of a reach to an entirely different kind of network. And a national scale: encouraging the developcompare the current rise of gigabit-speed it's not really just about speed. It's about a ment of new applications that make use of bandwidth to early days of the Internet in network that's adaptable to a new kind of next generation, high-bandwidth Internet "I hope in next two to three years to see the mid-’90s, when change was clearly in communication between people." connectivity. Chattanooga has been a partstrong and quick development of novel ner since US Ignite was launched a year applications that really can only be taken and a half ago. US Ignite has worked with advantage of in places like Chattanooga public and private leaders in Chattanooga where gigabit networks are available," he and with companies developing applicasaid. tions in the Gig Tank. The growth of the next generation of I asked him about the national context super-fast bandwidth is a chicken-and-egg of Chattanooga having cheaper and more paradox. Which comes first: higher bandwidespread gigabit-per-second Internet. width or applications that require higher He sees EPB's announcement in terms of bandwidth? This "build it and they will scale. A technology start-up begins small come" approach is not only how the firstout of necessity — because an idea is easier generation Internet was built in the mid to fund and refine when it's small — and 1990s. It's what drove the creation of the also scales up out of necessity — because first electrical grids in the 1800s and the larger size is necessary to compete in the electrification of this area by TVA in the market place. 1930s. "If you're an application developer work"US Ignite's mission to find more and ing on something that needs a gigabit netmore reasons for people to build that kind work to operate, you need to be able to test of network," he said. "The reasons you it among more end users to find out what build those networks are the applications. the value is, how it's going to be used and You don't build them for their own sake. who is going to use it," he said. "ChattanooYou build them for what they can do to betRY INTRODUCTORY INTRODUCTORY INTRODUCTORY I N T R ga is one of the few new markets for many ter your life, to make things higher quality, ® applications." faster, etc." Healthy 1½-hou 1-hour massage 1-hour Murad Healthy 1½-hour Hot Stone INTRODUCTORY INTRODUCTORY INTRODUCTORY Making the Gig more affordable and in- * In the next six to twelve months, Kochan* 1-hour Skin massage 1-hour* Murad® Healthy 1½-hour Hot Stone * ssion Envy session facial session Envy® session ® creasing the number of people who have it hopes to see some application prototypes, INTRODUCTORY INTRODUCTORY session* session* SkinINTRODUCTORY facial session* Envy makes Chattanooga a more attractive place maybe even some product launches. 1-hour massage 1-hour Murad® Healthy 1½-hour Hot Stone to build new products and companies or to "Chattanooga is perfectly poised to besession* Skin facial session* Envy® session* introduce products developed elsewhere. come a test bed for that kind of new techFRAZIER-NORTHSHORE US Ignite is about 18 months into a fivenology," he said. 345 Frazier Avenue, Suite 108 year plan, working with hundreds of deUS Ignite also works with communities Next to Regions Bank velopers around the country, to create 60 across the country that are planning giga(423) 757-2900 brand new applications that require gigabit bit infrastructure. Chattanooga is unique, speed Internet. said Kochan, not just in being first to cre-

It's not just a question of bandwidth. We're talking about a network that can be used in a completely different way to address community needs.

etsSoothing s a v meets saving .


Soothing meets saving. Soothing meets saving.

39 3949 49 78787 39 49 78


$ $


$ $



$ $ $

CHATTANOOGA • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 9 345 Frazier Avenue, Suite 108

CHATTANOOGA 345 Frazier Avenue, Next Suite to108 Regions Bank 345 Frazier Suite 108 Next to Regions Bank (423)Avenue, 757-2900


Marc T. Michael

50 Shades of Garage Band Back to the basics with Mythical Motors

The quintet Mythical Motors has been together in one form or another since 2007 and features Matt Addison as lead vocalist and guitarist, Mike Brown on bass, Brad Smith on drums, Johnny Wingo on second guitar and Hollie

photo by Carlton Freeman


epending upon your age, you may have grown up with the notion that “garage band” is just another Apple product—but there was a time in the long-ago when “garage band” was the term applied to fledgling bands whose practice/performance space was that badge of suburbia, the garage (being a Kentucky boy, my earliest band “rehearsed” in the loft of a working barn, but that’s the subject of an article I don’t ever intend to write). So “garage band” can imply a certain amateur quality and is seen by some as a derogatory term, a title many young bands

honest music

struggle to distance themselves from. The garage band sound, on the other hand, is a different sort of beast, a combination of enthusiasm for rock and roll, desperation sprung from having to beg, borrow and steal equipment, and innocence about “the rules of music,” which is to say no one has beat you over the head with the notion that you aren’t supposed to do it that way—yet. In the right proportions, those elements can combine to form a kind of music unlike anything else, proto-punk perhaps, and the kids in Mythical Motors have made that the heart and soul of what they do.

Stockman on cello. Yes, cello. At least three members of the band were at one time part of the earliest punk movement in the area, while Addison has been a “bedroom and basement” recording engineer since the tender age of 14. Whether Mythical Motors is a punk band or not is debatable, inasmuch as any clear definition of punk music is debatable, but

the punk sensibilities of the band are undeniable. Their songs are short, fast and powerful. In Addison’s own words, “We like to play short songs, so we can drink more beer,” but I think their songs are short because they don’t need to be any longer. Like a strippeddown muscle machine, their songs have no radio, no A/C, but they will flat outrun anything on the road. If you are ever approached by an angry guitar player who is demanding money owed or perhaps satisfaction for a perceived slight, ask him about guitar tone. While he pontificates on the subject, you should have adequate time to assume a new identity, move to a foreign land or just wall him up in an abandoned coke oven. He won’t notice. Guitar tone is a bloviated topic—but having said that, I would still be remiss if I did not at least mention Addison and Wingo’s guitar tone, which is a crucial component of their music. It doesn’t come out of an effects processor or pedal, nor is it the result of exotic aged hardwoods paired with hand-wound pick-ups harvested at the peak of ripeness. It comes from cranking up the treble and the volume and then wailing the bejeezus out of the thing. Almost every guitar player who ever played in a ga-

rage band has achieved this tone at some point or other. Most just don’t have the good sense to hang on to it. Now we come to the part where I try not to compare them to other bands while comparing them to other bands. Having made my way through the TWENTY songs of their album The Elated Millions (I’m going to start buying all my music in bulk from now on) the Clash keeps coming to mind. They aren’t a Clash cover band nor are they particularly trying to emulate that iconic group, but there is a quality of the band that Mythical Motors has absolutely nailed. The fact is if you listen closely to Mythical Motors, you can pick out flavors of many of the great punk, postpunk, proto-punk, punk-lite and “I can’t Believe It’s Not Punk” bands, but not without a hint of pop too, akin to that one upbeat Elvis Costello song (and definitely early R.E.M.). Investigate for yourself; The Elated Millions covers a lot of territory. Better yet, see them live at Sluggo’s North on September 28 and again on November 9 at the Flicker Bar in Athens, Ga. While many fine bands continue to push music in to strange new territories, the “back to the basics” approach of Mythical Motors is sublime.

local and regional shows

Nick Lutsko’s CD Release Party with Medicine Tree [$5] Howie+Mosley with Archie Powell & The Exports [$5] Brer Rabbit with Heather Luttrell, Rick Rushing [$5] Zombie Walk “Feed The Humans” After Party [$5]

Wed, Sep 25 Thu, Sep 26 Wed, Oct 2 Sat, Oct 5

9pm 9pm 9pm 9pm

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm, Followed by Live Music Sunday, Sep 29 - Benefit show for Meghan/Breast Cancer Awareness

10 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 *

Between the Sleeves

Jordan Thomas Foundation

record reviews • ernie paik

Low CounTry

Out of Africa—and Italy

Take your pick of Ethiopian jazz or Italian New Wave

Mulatu Astatke Sketches of Ethiopia (Jazz Village)


ulatu Astatke, born in Ethiopia, represents an unusual amalgam, having studied music in England and the United States and known for combining Latin music elements with traditional Ethiopian styles within a jazz idiom. Considered the father of Ethio-jazz, Astatke brought his unique fusion back to Ethiopia in the ’70s to be a figure in Ethiopia’s “Golden ’70s” and later earned attention from Western audiences via a collection in the notable Éthiopiques series and inclusion of his work in the 2005 Jim Jarmusch film “Broken Flowers” starring Bill Murray. His latest album, Sketches of Ethiopia, features his England-based band Step Ahead, and it contains his refined style, which seems to be more informed by jazz sources like Duke Ellington than other origins, despite the cultural inflections. It’s a subtle, restrained album and one that could have a broad appeal; “Hager Fiker”

Various Artists Mutazione (Strut)

features a call-and-response mode with Harmon-muted trumpet and piano melodic jaunts, a nest of hand-struck drums and Astatke’s vibraphone soloing, with a sense of politeness. “Gambella” feels more lively, with a complicated web of notes, prominent drum kit beats and hand-drum flutters and reed playing, and one gets the notion that at any moment, it might attempt to lift off into a full-on Afro-beat vamp; however, it never does. Its genteel nature evokes having a spirited party while trying not to disturb the neighbors. “Assosa Derache” is mostly a measured and in-control piece that lives in light jazz territory, with one exception: a trumpet solo that temporarily goes into free jazz space; “Gumuz” is even smoother, with a soft fusion approach and vocals from Tesfaye. The album’s finest songs are saved for last; “Motherland Abay” begins untethered by a rhythm with gentle and satisfying violin and reed wanderings, before a rhythm enters

with a slow groove, and “Surma,” featuring lead vocalist Fatoumata Diawara, is marked with some tight, synchronized runs. While this writer doesn’t expect everything to be intense all the time, apart from a few highlights, a certain promise and potential doesn’t seem fulfilled, although the delivery is clean and impeccable.


n the United States, the social atmosphere in the ’80s was marked with a Cold War paranoia, while in Italy, there was turmoil during the “Years of Lead,” marked with terrorism from right-wing and left-wing groups, including the 1978 assassination of former Prime Minister Aldo Moro and the 1980 train station bombing in Bologna. The liner notes of the double-album compilation Mutazione, subtitled “Italian Electronic & New Wave Underground 1980-1988,” frames the collection within the “Years of Lead,” which incubated Italy’s countercultural forces, primarily taking inspiration from

British post-punk and industrial bands rather than original punk acts. The term “new wave” can evoke ’80s pop-music nostalgia a la VH1’s “I Love the ’80s,” but on this collection, the proceedings generally have a disquieting atmosphere, with an unavoidable darkness and anxiety, while simultaneously enjoying a fearless liberation, free to experiment musically, influenced by bands such as Throbbing Gristle, Suicide, Joy Division and The Residents. These Italian acts will largely be unknown to American ears, and many tracks have a similar vibe, owing to limited types of chilly drum machines available (recall the very beginning of Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”). The primitive technology and Italian accents might very well be amusing to modern audiences, who may be most familiar with detached imitations of new-wave acts, unfortunately. “Jacho’s Story” by 2+2=5 features a post-punk vibe, with the thump/plunk of a funk bass and ghostly electronics, and “1984-1985” by L’Ultimo Arcano creates tension using shuffling drum machine beats and synth alarm tones and sirens. The compilation’s superior second half features an animated yet ominous Doris Norton track, made on an Apple computer, “Romero’s Living Dead” by Spirocheta Pergoli, with skronks and screeches and a damaged sci-fi circus vibe, and the brief “I Am Strange Now” by Plath which sounds like it features a demon-possessed woman. With meticulously assembled liner notes, Mutazione is at its most interesting when it breaks from the synth-wave homogeneity and truly lives up to its title.”


Sunday • Sept. 29 • 6:30pm

STrATTon HALL on BroAd STreeT

MuSiC By PriSCiLLA & LiTTLe riCKee

SiLenT AuCTion • CASuAL ATTire reSerVATionS: JordAnTHoMASFoundATion.orG

“GeTTin’ KidS ProSTHeTiCS” • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live













26 FRI 10p 27 SAT 10p 28 TUE 8p 1 WED 9p 2 THU 9p 3 SAT 10p 5


Archie Powell & The Exports

THU 9p












Belle Adair

THUrsday 09.26 Pickin’ at the Post with Bluegrass Bands 5 p.m. American Legion Post, Highway 11 N. (423) 582-1337 Bluegrass and Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Nazarene Church, 6310 Dayton Bvd. (423) 842-5919, Fireside at Greenway 7 p.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Rd. (423) 643-6888, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, The Loop 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Djangonooga 7 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Tim Neal and Mike Harris 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 509-8696, Ladies Night with Blake Morrison 8 p.m. Backyard Grille, Access Rd. & Ashland Ter. (423) 486-1369, Howle + Mosley, Archie Powell & The Exports, Nava Hotel 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192,

12 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn), (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theoffice.chatt Sundy Best, Rob Baird 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

friday 09.27 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant and Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, Blood & Fire Fest (Day 1) 6:30 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd St. The Half & Half Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Danny Sample/Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, Roberts & Sims 7 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Charley Yates 7:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-6201 Jill Burton and Misha Feigin 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Mountain Opry: Bluegrass and Mountain Music 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 886-3252 Roughwork 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, Southlander 8:30 p.m. Backyard Grille, Access Rd. & Ashland Ter. (423) 486-1369, Roberts & Sims 8:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Future Birds, Bohannons, Belle Adair 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Check Bones Jones 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn), (423) 634-9191, facebook.

com/theoffice.chatt Soul Survivor 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Trial by Fire 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878,

saturday 09.28 “Wine Over Water” with Amber Fults, Broke Down Hound 5 p.m. Walnut St Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 643-6096, Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Cattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726, Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall. (423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant and Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, Blood and Fire Fest (Day 2) 6:30 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd St.

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191


Mighty Sideshow

Carrie Hassler

Thursday, September 26: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, September 27: 9pm Chuck Bones Jones Saturday, September 28: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, October 1: 7pm 24/7 Band + Jamming and Singing 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn, 1095 Weatherly Switch Tr. (423) 464-3034. Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, The Hopeful Country Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Gabriel Newell 7 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Brody Johnson Band 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, The Countrymen Band 8 p.m. Eagles Club, 6128 Airways Blvd. (423) 894-9940 Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, Full Axess 8:30 p.m. American Legion Post Cleveland, 227 James Asbury Dr. (423) 476-4451 Crossfire 8:30 p.m. Backyard Grille, Access Rd. & Ashland Ter. (423) 486-1369, StoneLine 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, Royal Bangs, Crass Mammoth, Elk Milk 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia,

231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, Planet, Black Betty 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, Skin Deep 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn), (423) 634-9191, facebook. com/theoffice.chatt Mighty Sideshow, The Average 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878,

sunday 0929 Benji Varsossa, Danny Mull, Jimmy Young 11 a.m. Great New York Flea Market, 143 Park Industrial Blvd. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 858-0188 Concert for Matt with Danny Shirley, Roger Alan Wade, Carrie Hassler, The Other Guys 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. Centennial Park, 370 Fort Bluff Camp Rd., Dayton Bobby Denton Band Jam 2 p.m. Cheap Seats Sports Bar, 2925 Rossville Blvd. (423) 629-5636 Evensong

5:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, Bluegrass Pharaohs 6 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, Benefit For Meghan, Breast Cancer Awareness with Molly Maguires 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, Monomath, Feuding Fathers 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

monday 09.30 Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. 423) 499-5055, Men’s Barbershop Harmony Group 7 p.m. All Saints Academy, 10 East Eighth St. (423) 876-7359 Wally Henry 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065,

tuesday 10.01 Tim Starnes & Davey Smith 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956,

Jim Palmer 7:30 p.m. 1885 Grill, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 485-3050, Uptown Big Band 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

wednesday 10.02 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall, (423) 710-1201 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, Pee Wee Moore and the Awful Dreadful Snakes 7:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739 Priscilla & Little Rickee 8:30 p.m. Las Margarita’s, 1101 Hixson Pk. (423) 756-3332, Morality Crisis, Red Necklace, Vena Cava 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. The Average, Smooth Dialects, DJ Bataille 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

Hot Music • Hot Times • Hot Food

Smoke Free • 742 Ashland Terrace

26 Djangonooga FRI SEP 27 Roberts & Sims SAT SEP 28 Stone Line THU SEP




(423) 710-8739 • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 13


CAPTURE-ing Chattanooga By Janis Hashe

Ready to be CAPTURED? Chattanooga filmmakers and filmmakers-in-training have a unique opportunity this weekend as AVA launches the first year of community filmmaking project CAPTURE, a 48-hour period in which participants will jointly create documentaries about Chattanooga. For $10, you can participate as a filmmaker and upload video— but you must be registered before CAPTURE begins on Friday at Walker Pavilion (capturechatt. org). On Saturday, all footage will be turned over to three professional editing teams that will edit submissions to create three “mini-documentaries.” On Sunday, September 29, the project concludes with a screening at Track 29, including awards and live music. AVA has announced that Jonathan Taplin, currently director of the University of Southern California’s Annenberg Innovation Lab, will be one of three jurors evaluating the documentaries. Taplin’s own films have been nominated for both Golden Globes and Oscars and chosen for presentation at the Cannes Film Festival. We asked AVA Executive Director Anne Willson and Board Member Bobby Stone about how CAPTURE came about:

A combination of broadband streaming capability and a dynamic creative culture is a dream location. The Pulse: How did the idea for the project arise? Is it modeled on something another community has done?   Anne Willson: CAPTURE is a new concept; it borrows elements from other film projects, but is very much rooted in Chattanooga's unique sensibility. The idea came about in a conversation between Bobby and me. AVA had wanted to extend its filmmaking program and when Bobby joined


the board last year, the discussions started taking hold. We wanted something that was both broadly participatory and tapped into the skills of professionals. Second, it needed to be creative, expansive and compelling—all the elements that make Chattanooga such a great town. TP: Who do you expect to participate in it?  AW: This first time, most participants will probably be people who are already filming parts of their lives. I don't think it's an age or demographic subset as much as it's a psychographic.  But then again, maybe people who aren't as comfortable taking video will see that it really is an easy entree. If you have a cell phone that

captures video, you can participate. Bobby Stone: The idea of the project is to be very inclusive. We hope to have a range of people, from professionals to hobbyists to complete amateurs. But we hope that the experience will bring more people into the process of filmmaking. TP: Do you see the project as being connected to the growth in Chattanooga's filmmaking commu-

nity? AW: Absolutely, even if it's indirect. Chattanooga's incredible broadband internet technology is intentionally a part of CAPTURE from the very beginning.  We're using it to transfer the created films to California for the juror, Jonathan Taplin of the Annenberg Innovation Lab, to screen.  And he will be piped in at the premiere screening on Sunday night to announce the winner.  So for professional filmmakers, a combination of broadband streaming capability and a dynamic creative culture is a dream location. TP: Will the films have a life after they've been presented? If so, what will it be? 

AW: Our intent is that they live on and are broadly used. While AVA will retain the rights to the films, they will be available under a Creative Commons type of license so that anyone, from the Chattanooga CVB and Chamber of Commerce to a foundation or realtor, to a college student wanting to show his parents back home where he lives.  It's about the community as a whole and the community as a whole has access to them. BS: The films will be exhibited publicly throughout the year, and will be on the AVA and CAPTURE websites. TP: If CAPTURE is successful, will AVA consider it as an annual event?  AW: It's already planned as an annual event. This is the first year. More accurately, this is the crazy first year when we work through most of the kinks and learn much in the process. And what a great adventure it's already proving to be. Filmmaker participants receive a $5 discount on the $15 per person tickets to the premiere screening at Track 29, Sunday, September 29, 5 p.m.-8 p.m. Register as a filmmaker online at Screening tickets may be bought online as well at the CAPTURE website or at AVA, 30 Frazier Ave.



TWO FLOORS • ONE BIG PARTY • LIVE MUSIC • DANCING • 409 MARKET ST • 423.756.1919 open 7 days a week » full menu until 2am » 21+ » smoking allowed 14 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •


john devore

The War Inside and Out Dyson Fyke in “I Declare War.”

“Stand By Me” tells us that no one has friends later in life the way they do when they are 12. There’s a certain truth to that. Those strange preteen years, the time when parents begin to fade into the background, only to be replaced by neighborhood or school friends for support and understanding are likely more formative and important than even late teen experimentation. The mixing of childhood emotions and semi-formed adult understanding is bizarre and remarkable. There is a sudden awareness of sexual feelings, which are new and exciting, occurring alongside a desire to play with action figures or pretend to slay giants in the forest. New desires and friendships accompany the jarring sensation as childhood dims and tapers, forcing a new person to the forefront, a person not yet understood. It’s no wonder seventh grade is so horrible—an internal civil war is waging on all fronts. Friends are crucial in these years because parents are too far removed from the process to truly understand. Vague memories are not enough to help someone living through it. “I Declare War,” Mise En Scenesters’ latest offering, is a clever play on these themes. Reality and play are blurred in an elaborate game of war, a game with simple rules and consequences that are high drama to those involved. The film navigates the complicated relation-

ships between friends with a surprising amount of heart and understanding. The rules of “War “are simple. If you’re shot, you lie down and count to ten. If you’re hit with a grenade (a water balloon filled with food coloring), you’re dead and you go home. Whoever captures the other team’s flag wins. The game is played out with improvised weapons over an expansive wilderness with deep woods, babbling creeks, and makeshift fortresses. “War,” as seen in the film, features coups and betrayals, lighthearted imagination and budding young love, mixed messages and missed opportunities, all combined with realistically imagined violence and familiar action movie tropes. It’s childhood at its best—there are no parents to call out poor behavior, meaning the kids are forced

Principal Broker Licensed in TN & GA Cell: 423.595.2125 Managing Broker Licensed in TN & GA Cell: 423.645.1597



201 Frazier Aveue in North Chattanooga at the Walnut Street Bridge

Meet Us At The Bridge!

boys, who should learn a valuable lesson about playing with the opposite sex. Whether they do or not is anybody’s guess, but watching Jess (Mackenzie Munro) run roughshod over the battle-hardened preteens is one of the best parts of the film. All of the performances are stellar, especially considering the ages of the actors. These kids certainly say their lines with more conviction than anyone in “The Goonies.” “I Declare War” is a clever and entertaining film that exists outside the standard Hollywood fare. It’s the type of film that would likely be laughed out of a major studio for not having a solid, demonstrated audience. I’d imagine it’s hard to market. But from my perspective, that’s a good thing. I’d rather have a viewing experience in which I can’t predict exactly what a film is going to be. I’m not terribly interested in polished films produced by committee. There isn’t another film out right now like “I Declare War” and for that reason alone it’s worth a viewing. MES Presents: “I Declare War” 8:30 p.m. September 28. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,, $7




to work out their own problems through aggressive negotiations and adherence to the rules. In the simplest terms, “I Declare War” is a fun movie to watch. The filmmakers are careful not to make the film too adult; as I mentioned, the consequences are important only to the children involved. No one wants to be left out and everyone is concerned with being friends. Friends are lifelines and to deny someone friendship is the lowest form of insult imaginable. What makes the film effective is its ability to allow the kids in the film to behave naturally. Like most middle-schoolers, they are foul-mouthed egotists who taunt each other mercilessly. Amid all the posturing, we see glimpses of their insecurities and fears, their motivations and desires. The filmmakers didn’t idealize childhood. Kids can be awful, even when their intentions are pure. There are hints of insufferable cruelty, a throwback to scenes found in “Lord of the Flies,” but the darker aspects of the film are downplayed to allow for complexity in characterization. It does a particularly good job of examining male/ female dynamics among preadolescents. The lone girl in the film has a keen understanding of her power over the clueless

For 15 years we have done the hunting to offer you unique architectural artifacts and antiques. Come and browse often for that one-of-kind piece. You never know what will arrive here next!

Open weekends • Thur.-Sun. • 11-6 1300 McCallie Ave. • 423.697.1243 • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

October Weekends

Arts & Entertainment


CSO "The Planets"

for more info call 706.820.2531

See Come join the Fall Fun!

NOW OPEN Opens Sept 28

THUrsday 09.26 “Wiley and the Hairy Man” 9:30, 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931 )484-5000, Ooltewah Farmer’s Market 3 p.m. - 6 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co. Inc., 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775, Looking Closer at an Antebellum Portrait: The Whiteside Painting 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Little Smokey 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Soddy-Daisy Jamboreee 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. SoddyDaisy Community Center, 9835 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-5323,

16 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

“Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, CSO Masterworks Series: The Planets 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583, Chris Cope 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, “Mr. Mundoo” 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

friday 09.27 Evening Grace 2 - 4:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, Southside ArtStroll 5 p.m. - 8 p.m. Southside Chattanooga area SouthsideArtStroll “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, LOVE—Date Night 7 - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “Prometheus Bound” 7:30 p.m. The Plow Building, 1604 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 503-0589, “Man of La Mancha” 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “Wiley and the Hairy Man” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, Chris Cope 7:30, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, Ryan Dalton 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, “Best Cellars” Premier Wine Tasting with Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. The Chattanogan, 1201 Broad St. (877) 663 2592,

saturday 09.28 2013 Hyperflite Skyhoundz World Canine Disc Championship 9:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. Coolidge Park, 1 River St. (423) 643-6056, Enchanted MAiZE

10:30 am - 8 p.m. Blowing Spring Farms, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 10:30 a.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, “Not Knowing a Friend From a Foe” - Braxton Bragg’s Battles Within the Army of Tennessee 11 a.m. Missionary Ridge (Bragg Reservation), 113-139 S. Crest Rd. (706) 866-9241 “Crush Festival” with Jennifer Danner AND Nancy Chancey 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. Cartecay Vineyards, 5704 Clear Creek Rd. (706) 698-9463, “Mystery of Flight 138” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931 )484-5000, “Wiley and the Hairy Man” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, Blowing SCREAMS Farm 7 p.m. Blowing Springs Farm, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd.

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR "Prometheus Bound"

Ryan Dalton

naturally wonderful


(706) 820-2531, Pink Hair 7 - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, “Prometheus Bound” 7:30 p.m. The Plow Building, 1604 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 503-0589, Chris Cope 7:30, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, Movies & Music: Function With a “C” & “Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade” 7 p.m. Center Park, 728 Market St. (423) 265-3700, centerparkchattanooga “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, Screening: “I Declare War” 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, Ryan Dalton 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

sunday 09.29 2013 Hyperflite Skyhoundz World Canine

Disc Championship 9:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. Coolidge Park, 1 River St. (423) 643-6056, Enchanted MAiZE Noon - 6:30 p.m. Blowing Spring Farms, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Chattanooga Market: Chattanooga Chili 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. “Ring of Fire” with Kellye Cash 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, Downtown Dalton Beer Tasting Festival 3 p.m. - 7 p.m. Dalton Green, 117 N. Selvidge St., Dalton (706) 278-3332, TVA History Cruise 4:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, Chris Cope 7 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233,

monday 09.30 Cove Flowers 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge.

(423) 321-2317,

tuesday 10.01 ODD-tober 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, “To Kill a Mockingbird” 1 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931 )484-5000, Angry Cuddles Comedy Tour 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400,

wednesday 10.02 ODD-tober 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, Red Sky 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317,

ongoing Enchanted MAiZE 9 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. Thu - Sun. Blowing Spring Farms, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531, Magic Tree House traveling exhibit 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon - Sun. Creative Discovery Museum,

321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Thur, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Fri. - Sat, Noon - 5 p.m. Sun. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, “Journeys” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon - Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, “Animals and Pets” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon - Fri. Reflection Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy., (423) 892-3072, For All The World To See: Visual Culture and The Struggle for Civil Rights 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon - Fri, Noon- 4 p.m. Sat. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658, “FRESH” 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tue - Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, “Contemporary Art for Urban Spaces” Graffiti, 629 Spears Ave. (423) 400-9797,

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@

NOW OPEN! • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 17

Featured Dining

A Cup of Cake-y Deliciousness Gigi’s supplies cupcake heaven

other baked goods. But if you want a top-shelf, gourmet cupcake from a dedicated purveyor of these single-serving cakey comestibles, you will inevitably end up at my favorite: Gigi's Cupcakes. Mike and Joy Irwin opened Chattanooga's first Gigi's in 2009 on Gunbarrel Road and I stumbled upon them within the first few months. What drew me in were the creative and unique flavors. What keeps me going back is the quality of the cake

By Mike McJunkin


t seems cupcakes are everywhere these days. There are specialty cupcake stores, pre-made and mass-produced versions in convenience stores, not to mention entire television shows devoted to this compact confectionary. It would be easy to think that cupcakes are a new player on the dessert field, but cupcakes have been around well before Donna Reed greased her first muffin tin and certainly before the great cupcake wars of 2012 erupted on the Food Network.

The term “cupcake” is of disputed origin. Some believe it refers to the way cupcake ingredients were measured—in cups rather than by weight—a somewhat new development at a time when baking relied on weight rather than volume. The generally accepted first known cupcake recipe called for one cup of butter, two cups of sugar, three cups of flour and so on, leading the petite desserts to sometimes be referred to as “number” cakes, “1234” cakes, etc… Others believe that the name comes from the idea the first cupcakes were actually baked in small contain-

ers, even teacups, because hearth ovens took so long to bake full-sized cakes and often burnt them as a result. Early in the 20th century, multi-cupcake molded tins began to appear, bringing a modest type of mass production to cupcake making. A modern baking tradition was born. Now that I've planted the seeds of a cupcake craving in your mind, the next logical question is, “Where can I get a good cupcake?” Chattanooga has seen its share of cupcake upstarts, hoping to get in on the craze. You can always go to the local BiMart or WholeFareMarket bakery department and pick up a cryo-sealed package of cupcake-shaped objects that are either as dry as an Eddy Izzard routine or so cloyingly sweet Disney will try to make a movie out of them. You could also visit one of our city's fine full-service bakeries offering a selection of acceptable cupcakes along with all of their

18 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

itself. Their cupcakes are baked fresh every morning and are never frozen, because frozen cupcakes are an abomination. They offer at least nine unique cupcake flavors every day, including several gluten-free options on Fridays. Personally, I have peeled the paper liner off of more than a few of Gigi's red velvet cake, chocolate salted caramel, lemon dream and Kentucky bourbon pie cupcakes and I recently caught them handing out samples of their fall flavors in front of the new Frazier Avenue store on Park(ing) Day. The appearance of pumpkin flavor always signals the beginning of fall, and Gigi's is on top of it with a pumpkin white chocolate cupcake as well as apple pie, ba-

nanas foster and german chocolate cake flavors. The Northshore location boasts the distinction of being the first Gigi's in the country to have cupcakes and frozen yogurt under one roof. What's the big deal, you ask? Well, remember having ice cream and cake at birthday parties? Now you can have that special treat whenever you want, because you're an adult and no one can stop you. Plus, they have a caulking gun loaded with cupcake icing you can squirt into your frozen yogurt. You read that right: a caulking gun of icing to squirt into your froyo. There's no shortage of places to grab a cupcake, cheesecake or frozen yogurt in Chattanooga, but you would be hard pressed to locate more delicious, creative and fresh options than you will find at Gigi's Cupcakes. Just remember, when you are holding that caulking gun of icing—with great freedom, comes great responsibility. Gigi's Cupcakes & Frozen Yogurt, Northshore 330 Frazier Ave, Suite 120 (423) 710-1633 Hours Mon-Thu, Noon - 10 p.m. Fri-Sat, 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. Sun, 12-6 p.m. Gigi's Cupcakes Chattanooga 1906-C Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 468-4803 Hours Mon-Thu, 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. Fri-Sat, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Sun, Noon -6 p.m. Gigi's Cupcakes Hixson 5550 Hwy 153, Suite 102 (423) 710-2797 Mon-Thur, 11 a.m.- 6 p.m. Fri-Sat, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. Sun, closed chattanoogatennessee


Got Spanx?

JAnis Hashe

Ultimate Sacrifice Theater for the New South opens season three with classic ‘Prometheus Bound’


heater for the New South opens its third season with a character in chains. Aeschylus's “Prometheus Bound” (translation by James Kerr), explores the classic myth, and the TNS production will add the edge of experimentation to it. The company continues to perform in “found spaces,” in this case choosing the Plow Building on Reggie White Blvd. “’Prometheus Bound’ literally takes place on the edge of a cliff at the end of the world. We were able to emotionally convey that solitude, emptiness and perhaps harshness by using this specific space,” said director Blake Harris. We asked Harris about other aspects of the production: The Pulse: How did you discover this play? Saw it, read it, heard about it? Blake Harris: We make it a priority to include a classic work in our season lineup. I polled a few people about their favorite Greek tragedies and many people mentioned Aeschylus' “The Oresteia.” I began researching several tragedies and ran across the title “Prometheus Bound.” The title struck me and I shifted my research to this piece. I learned that it was one of the least performed tragedies because of the challenges it presents. With that in mind, plus the beautiful, lush language, I knew this was the piece we needed to do. TP: What elements in it appealed to you? BH: The biggest challenge that critics and academics cite is that you have a protagonist that is physically bound and cannot move the entire show. This is precisely what appealed to me. Directors use movement and physical

composition to articulate an emotion. Going into this project, I knew that I would have to focus on the chorus members' movement to physically illustrate Prometheus' emotional journey. I was also inspired by all the natural elements in this myth: metals, rocks, water, fire. I wanted to highlight these elements by completely juxtaposing them with the design elements. That's why we see a mixture of modern elements with clean, harsh lines. TP: What does it have to say to the TNS audience? BH: It asks “How far are you willing to go for what you believe in?” We see someone, knowing the full extent of their punishment, giving up everything to bring enlighten others. Prometheus sacrificed everything to share what he thought was beautiful with mankind: the arts, the beauty in coincidences, the stars rising and falling in the night skies, the worth of jewels and gold, language. I see artists every day who make sacrifices to share the same thing. They ask people to pause and take note of the beauty that surrounds us. TP: What visual style will the production incorporate? BH: I wanted to take a completely organic approach in the rehearsal process and allow the story to express itself within the physical space. This emotional journey completely defined the design elements and the stylistic staging. The audience will see an almost “Mod” style in the costume design. We were interested in the clean lines and the nononsense black and white palette. The style of the staging has a lot of inspirations from

physical theatre, but I didn't want to completely commit to a genre. That being said, the style of this production is completely reflective of the organic process we honored this time. TP: Does TNS have a theme this year, and if so, how does this piece fit in? BH: I don't necessarily see a theme for this season. We always ask ourselves in the selection process, "Do our audiences need to see this?" and "Why?" To the first question, we received a resounding yes. We couldn't sum up the second answer in one sentence and that's how we knew we were on the right track. TP: Are you asking your actors to do anything outside the ordinary to prepare for the piece? BH: In the beginning of the process, I just kept reminding the actors to trust me. Going into each rehearsal without a preset notion of what this show should look like put the cast and me in a vulnerable place. However, we found our footing after the first week or two and began challenging each other to think beyond the theatrical conventions we have become comfortable with in the rehearsal process and on stage. “Prometheus Bound,” 7:30 p.m. September 27, 28, October 3-6, The Plow Building, 1604 Reggie White Blvd. $15. For more information about Theater for the New South's “Prometheus Bound,” visit or Tickets online at event/468407.

daily lunch & drink specials!

If you are looking for an immigration or citizenship lawyer, Elmore & Peterson can help. Our firm provides guidance and representation in a comprehensive number of immigration areas. Abigail M. Peterson Immigration Attorney

Krystal Building 100 W. Martin Luther King Blvd Suite 505 • Chattanooga TN 37402 (423) 582-0382

We do!

Come see the complete line of Spanx® at Frankie & Julian’s.

The only place in Town where you can karaoke anyTime.

Book your Birthday, anniversary or holiday parties now!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

330 Frazier Ave. Suite 116 Chattanooga, Tennessee (423) 266-6661 • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 19

Free Will Astrology


Congregational Church


Providing a liberal Christian tradition

since 1914

Sunday, September 29:

The Case Against Religion

Sunday, October 6:

It’s Payback Time!

Sunday Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street


CELL PHONE REPAIR Hours: M-F 10am-7pm Sat 11am-4pm Closed Sun

CHATTANOOGA 1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668

(Next to Gi Gi’s Cupcakes)


Aft er

Cell Phones Tablets & IPads Game Consoles Laptop Screens Audio & IPods More Gadgets

Aft er

problems? We can handle it. Our electronic repair specialists are well trained, skilled and experienced in all areas of cell phone and gadget repairs.

From Foundation to Roof... and Everything In Between Whole House Restoration Be fo re

No problem. We fix them... Water damage? Broken screen? Charging

Be fo re


(423) 698-5682

Free Estimates!

(432) 255-7943

20 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For four days twice a year, the East China Sea recedes to create a narrow strip of land between two Korean islands, Jindo and Modo. People celebrate the “Sea-Parting Festival” by strolling back and forth along the temporary path. The phenomenon has been called the “Korean version of Moses’ miracle,” although it’s more reasonably explained by the action of the tides. I foresee some sweet marvel akin to this one occurring in your life very soon, Libra. Be ready to take advantage of a special dispensation. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The desire for revenge is a favorite theme of the entertainment industry. It’s presented as being glamorous and stirring and even noble. How many action films build their plots around the hero seeking payback against his enemies? Personally, I see revenge as one of the top three worst emotions. In real life, it rarely has redeeming value. People who actively express it often wreak pain and ruin on both others and themselves. Even those who merely stew in it may wound themselves by doing so. I bring this up, Scorpio, because now is an excellent time for you to shed desires for revenge. Dissolve them, get rid of them, talk yourself out of indulging in them. The reward for doing so will be a great liberation. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Just for a few days, would you be willing to put your attention on the needs of others more than on your own? The weird thing is, your selfish interests will be best served by being as unselfish and empathetic and compassionate as you can stand to be. I don’t mean that you should allow yourself to be abused or taken advantage of. Your task is to express an abundance of creative generosity as you bestow your unique blessings in ways that make you feel powerful. In the words of theologian Frederick Buechner, you should go “to the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Imagine a scenario like this: The CEOs of five crazily rich U.S. corporations, including a major defense contractor, stage a press conference to announce that in the future they will turn down the massive welfare benefits and tax breaks the federal government has been doling out to them all these years. Now picture this: The Pope issues a statement declaring that since Jesus Christ never had a single bad word to say about homosexuals, the Catholic Church is withdrawing its resistance to gay rights. I am envisioning a comparable reversal in your life, Capricorn—a flip-flop that seems equally improbable. But unlike the two I named, yours will actually unfold in the course of

rob brezsny

the next eight months. If it hasn’t already started yet, it will soon. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Matteo Ricci was an Italian Jesuit priest who lived from 1552 to 1610. For his last 28 years, he worked as a missionary in China. Corresponding with his friends and family back home required a lot of patience. News traveled very slowly. Whenever he sent out a letter, he was aware that there’d be no response for seven years. What would you express about your life right now if you knew your dear ones wouldn’t learn of it until 2017? Imagine describing to them in an old-fashioned letter what your plans will be between now and then . . . what you hope to accomplish and how you will transform yourself. Right now is an excellent time to take inventory of your long-term future. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The cosmos is granting you a poetic license to practice the art of apodyopsis with great relish. You know what apodyopsis is, right? It refers to the act of envisioning people naked—mentally undressing them so as to picture them in their raw state. So, yes, by all means, Pisces, enjoy this creative use of your imagination without apology. It should generate many fine ramifications. For instance, it will prime you to penetrate beneath the surface of things. It will encourage you to see through everyone’s social masks and tune in to what’s really going on in their depths. You need to do that right now. ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’ve got a good feeling about your relationship with intimacy in the coming weeks. Judging from the astrological omens, I think you will have a good instinct about how to drum up interesting fun with your most important allies. You’ll just naturally know what to do to make your collaborative efforts synergistic. So by all means cash in on this potential. Don’t just sit back and hope for the best; rather, call on your imagination to provide you with original ideas about how to make it all happen. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Would you be willing to go to extraordinary lengths to transform aspects of your life that you have felt are hard to transform? Now would be a good time to do that. Luck will flow your way if you work on healing your number one wound. Unexpected help and inspiration will appear if you administer tough love to any part of you that’s addicted, immature, or unconscious. Barriers will crumple if you brainstorm about new ways to satisfy your frustrated yearnings. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I bet your normal paranoia levels will decline in the coming weeks. Fears

you take for granted won’t make nearly as much sense as they usually seem to. As a result, you’ll be tempted to wriggle free from your defense mechanisms. Useful ideas that your mind has been closed to may suddenly tantalize your curiosity. I won’t be surprised if you start tuning into catalysts that had previously been invisible to you. But here are my questions: Can you deal with losing the motivational force that fear gives you? Will you be able to get inspired by grace and pleasure rather than anxiety and agitation? I advise you to work hard on raising your trust levels. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Sometimes people have nothing to say because they’re too empty,” writes author Yasmin Mogahed, “and sometimes people have nothing to say because they’re too full.” By my reckoning, Cancerian, you will soon be in the latter category. A big silence is settling over you as new amusements and amazements rise up within you. It will be understandable if you feel reluctant to blab about them. They need more time to ripen. You should trust your impulse to remain a secret and a mystery for a while. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Insight is not a light bulb that goes off inside our heads,” says author Malcolm Gladwell. “It is a flickering candle that can easily be snuffed out.” Take that as a constructive warning, Leo. On the one hand, I believe you will soon glimpse quite a few new understandings of how the world works and what you could do to make it serve you better. On the other hand, you’ve got to be extra alert for these new understandings and committed to capturing them the moment they pop up. Articulate them immediately. If you’re alone, talk to yourself about them. Maybe even write them down. Don’t just assume you will be able to remember them perfectly later when it’s more convenient. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): After a storm, British wildlife lover Gary Zammit found a baby heron cowering in a broken nest. Its parents were dead. Zammit took the orphan under his wing. He named it Dude, and cared for it as it grew. Eventually he realized that Dude was never going to learn to fly unless he intervened. Filling his pockets full of the food that Dude loved, Zammit launched a series of flying lessons—waving his arms and squawking as he ran along a flat meadow that served as a runway. Dude imitated his human dad, and soon mastered the art of flight. Can you see ways in which this story might have metaphorical resemblances to your own life, Virgo? I think it does. It’s time for your mind to teach your body an instinctual skill or self-care habit that it has never quite gotten right.


Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones


CHATTANOOGA PRIDE WEEK Monday - Sunday, Sep 30 - Oct 6

Nightly 5-8pm $3 Wells $2 Domestic Beers

We proudly feature Smirnoff Vodka in our Wells with a Rainbow of Flavors


5917 LEE HIGHWAY • 423.855.8210



“Thinking of View” --so listen carefully. Across 1 AMA members 4 Defiant stayer’s stance 11 Race participant? 14 Black Eyed Peas singer will.___ 15 Place for a friend to crash 16 SOS part 17 Bed linen where bad stuff goes on? 19 Hosp. diagnostic 20 “___ fair in love and war” 21 Smooth fabric 22 Random link from some stranger, say 23 Late comedian Phyllis 26 Island show 28 Planner square 29 “West Side Story” actor Tamblyn 32 Site to search for stomach remedies 36 Drinkware crafted between the mountains? 40 “In ___ of flowers...” 42 Clearer, as the sky 43 “Silver Spoons”

actress Gray 44 What sports car engines have? 47 Put at, as a price 48 Sinn ___ 49 “But ___ Cheerleader” (Natasha Lyonne movie) 52 “The Georgia Peach” 55 “Primal Fear” actor Edward 57 Roo, for one 60 Disaster relief org. 63 Better Than ___ 64 Major miner concern? 65 Technical genius at filmmaking? 68 Animation studio drawing 69 D, E and F, but not F#, on a piano 70 Quit fasting 71 Daily ___ (political blog) 72 Instant coffee brand 73 Common omelet ingredient Down 1 Total one’s totals?

2 Mexico’s national flower 3 Reason for insoles, maybe 4 “Was ___ das?” 5 Pursue with passion 6 Deep-sixes, to a thug 7 Language spoken in “Avatar” 8 Government IOU of sorts 9 Lizard that pitches insurance 10 Kind of poem 11 Easy win 12 A psychic may claim to see it 13 Barber’s quick job 18 Adult ed. course 22 “Jackass” crewmate once on “Dancing with the Stars” 24 Pitching stat 25 Rough game on a pitch 27 Abbr. in personal ads 30 Toby Keith’s “Red ___ Cup” 31 Tobacco type 33 Event where 13 is a good number

34 1051, to Caesar 35 Opium lounge 37 Utter madness 38 Late golfer Ballesteros 39 Senator Hatch 40 Jazzophile’s collection, often 41 Detroit suburb Grosse ___ 45 General ___’s chicken 46 “Bed-In” participant 50 Pat of “The Karate Kid” 51 Headwear of yore 53 Bingo call 54 Jeff who bought the Washington Post in 2013 56 Court judge 57 Sporty stereotype 58 Brand with a “Triple Double” variety 59 Slippery critters 61 “Walking in Memphis” singer Cohn 62 Coloratura’s offering 65 Earn a title 66 Cool, to the Fresh Prince 67 Suffix for sugars

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0642 • september 26-october 2, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

On the Beat

alex teach

Girl Talk, Weapons Grade 4

a.m. It was just late enough in the shift that the drunks and bad guys had mostly settled in for the night, doing whatever it is criminals do when they’ve finally worn themselves out and successfully (or coincidentally) evaded lawful interactions, but not so late that the regular beat cops were as exhausted as they.

This is around the time of night the beat cop wants to have some lunch, some interaction with co-workers, to relax and ultimately decide how much more effort this night is going to receive. By that, of course, I mean decide to doze off under the watchful eyes of other cops in a safe spot, or set up radar somewhere and seek out the N.D.D.Y.s (Not Done Drinking Yets, also known as Time Travelers since they have no concept of what time it indeed is, or where it has gone when they come to). Tonight we chose a greasy spoon off of State Highway 58 called the Hungry House. It was there I could enjoy my generously discounted trucker-style food and bond with my co-workers by talking about both the things we hate and the things we don’t hate as much. “’Sup, Teach?” said a cop we called “Flipper.” (Flipper had taken a set of railroad tracks sideways in a ’92 Crown Vic his first month solo out of field training and the car wound up wheels-up. Hence “Flipper.”) “Nothin’, man! Great to see you, how you been?” I responded. He worked the Southside and I worked the East so it really had been a while. “Aw, nothin’s nothing.” He glanced down at my hip, cocking his head to the right a bit as he did. “Say, that a new gun?”

22 • The Pulse • september 26-october 2, 2013 •

“Yes!” I said enthusiastically. “I didn’t think anyone would notice.” “H&K? No, wait. Wait. Springfield?” “XD sub-compact! Good eye!” “Thanks,” he said. And I’d meant that. They all look a lot alike from the top of the slide, so I was genuinely impressed. “.40 cal’, nine-plus-one in the tube, Melonite finish. Dual spring recoil system, visual and tactile loaded chamber and striker status indicators, ambidextrous mag release, five-and-a-half inches high for a great group and only a little over six inches long...” (I stopped myself at that last one, having opened myself up for Man Ridicule… but to my astonishment, he let it slide.) “You can clear your holster twice as fast, I bet. I never thought about going shorter. Nice.” “Yeah,” I said, “I got the long gun for the hostage shots now. Everything else happens close-up, so I figured why not?” “That holster, it’s poly.” His was still the issued leather Level III. “Like it?” “Yeah, recessed forward

Yeah, recessed forward section so it’s easier to find blind, and faster to draw with. Kind of fits on the belt funny, though. Does it make me look fatter?

section so it’s easier to find blind, and faster to draw with. Kind of fits on the belt funny, though. Does it make me look fatter?” “Absolutely not, man! You look great.” “The vest is bad enough. Makes me look huge. God, I hate how some guys can wear it and look so thin, but it just means they’ve got the body of a 10 year old under that.” “Yeah,” he concurred, “besides, vests are like TV cameras. They add 12 pounds to everyone.” “I know, right?!” I said excitedly…and about that time, a Brainerd cop in the booth behind me who had been typing up a report on his portable slapped the laptop lid closed, abruptly stood up, and glared at us as he began to walk past. “Iowa and Washington D.C. are your best bets for marriage. Until then, please shut up. I can’t eat now.” We both sat somewhat at a loss; we really had unintentionally crossed a line, I think, so I played it through by asking, “So you want to hold it, or just stare at it too?” He left in even greater disgust and I didn’t see him again for months. Some people, it seems, just aren’t secure in their armaments. “Wanna shoot radar from the Bonny Oaks on-ramp?” I asked my co-worker as the checks arrived. Flipper glowed. “I thought you’d never ask.”

It’s not just a DAY, it’s a Y,

DA Y, just t st a aDA s no t ju It’sIt’no a s it’sit’a


Weeeekkeennd! W

OCTOBER 19 & 2

OCTOBER 19 & 20

,, Y A D a t s ju t o n ’s It Y A D a t just It’s no it a ’s a it’s


OCTOBER 19 & 20

on the on the Club Atlanta Athletic AtlantaFields Athletic Club


ENTERTAINMENT food KKidz food idzZZone one


ENTERTAINMENT ENTERTAINMENT 100 from around thehotel country • Grea 100 artisans fromartisans around the country • Great festival weekend rates 100 artisans from around the country • Great festival weekend hotel rates


Saturday, OCTOBER {10am - 6pm } OCTOBER 19 19 & & 20 20 Y, Y,

on the




the Club OCTOBER 20 OCTOBER 19 on Atlanta Athletic

{10am -Atlanta 6pm } {11am - 5pm } Athletic Club OCTOBER OCTOBER 19Maddie Monroe, 20 Fields Nonstop live entertainment including NEW ORLEANS JAZZ BRUNCH featuring:


{11am - 5pm } A A D D a a st st OCTOBER 19 ju ju t t o o n n NEW ORLEANS JAZZ BRUNCH ’s ’s It It a ’sFREEaFOLLOWED {10am - 6pm } CONCERT SATURDAY EVENING it’s it BY FIREWORKS! Matt Thomas, Perimeter Dance, North Atlanta Dance Theatre

! ! d d n n e e k k e e e W W ENTERTAINMENT ENTERTAINMENT food Kidz Zone Nonstop live entertainment Maddie Monroe, FREE CONCERT including SATURDAY EVENING FOLLOWED BY FIREWORKS! Matt Thomas, Perimeter Dance, North Atlanta Dance Theatre

Featuring “Von Grey” the highly-acclaimed quartet of sisters from Johns Creek and fan-favorite “Banks & Shane”

Blair Crimmons, gospel singer Anitra Jay, Laura Monk & Highcotton, rock band “Aaxis,” Christian Youth Theater featuring: and others - including a special appearance from Blair Crimmons, gospel singer Anitra Jay, Laura Monk & Xena the Warrior Puppy

Highcotton, rock band “Aaxis,” Christian Youth Theater WELCOME! and others -PETS including a special appearance from Enter ourXena popular ParadePuppy on Sunday thePet Warrior

Nonstop live entertainment including Maddie Monroe, on the on the Matt Thomas, Perimeter Dance, North Atlanta Dance Theatre PETS WELCOME! Atlanta Atlanta Athletic Athletic Club Club

Featuring “Von Grey” the highly-acclaimed quartet of sisters from Johns Creek and fan-favorite “Banks & Shane”

Enter our popular Pet Parade on Sunday For more information,visit Fields Fields

OCTOBER 19SATURDAY &19 20& 20 FREEOCTOBER CONCERT EVENING 100 artisans from around the country • Great festival weekend hotel rates FOLLOWED BY FIREWORKS! For morefestival information,visit 100 artisans from around the country • Great weekend hotel rates Featuring “Von Grey” the highly-acclaimed quartet of sisters

Saturday, Saturday, OCTOBER 19

OCTOBER 19 {10am - 6pm }


food food K idz K idz Z one Z one Sunday,

from Johns Creek and fan-favorite “Banks & Shane” ENTERTAINMENT ENTERTAINMENT

Sunday, OCTOBER 20

100 artisans 100 artisans from around from around the country the country • Great • Great festival festival weekend weekend hotel rates hotel rate

{10am -including 6pm }Maddie Monroe, Nonstop live entertainment entertainment Maddie Monroe, MattNonstop Thomas,live Perimeter Dance, including North Atlanta Dance Theatre Matt Thomas, Perimeter Dance, North Atlanta Dance Theatre

OCTOBER 20 5pm Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday, For {11am more information,visit www.John {11am - 5pm }}

OCTOBER OCTOBER 19ORLEANS 19 OCTOBER 20 20 NEW JAZZ BRUNCHOCTOBER featuring: ORLEANS BRUNCH featuring: {10am{10am - 6pm -}6pm } gospel JAZZ {11am {11am -&5pm-}5pm } BlairNEW Crimmons, singer Anitra Jay, Laura Monk

Nonstop live Nonstop entertainment live entertainment including including Maddie Monroe, Maddie Monroe, Blair Crimmons, gospel singer Jay, band “Aaxis”, Blair Crimmons, gospel singerAnitra Jay,rock Laura Monk &BRUNCH NEW ORLEANS NEW ORLEANS JAZZ JAZZ BRUNCH featuring:featuri FREE CONCERT SATURDAY EVENING Highcotton, rock bandTheatre “Aaxis, ” Anitra Christian Youth Theater Matt Thomas, Matt Perimeter Thomas, Perimeter Dance, North Dance, Atlanta NorthDance Atlanta Theatre Dance Christian Youth Theater and others including a special FREEFOLLOWED CONCERT SATURDAY EVENING Highcotton, rock band “Aaxis, ” Christian Youth Theater Blair Crimmons, Blair Crimmons, gospel singer gospel Anitra singer Jay,Anitra LauraJay, Monk Laura & M BY FIREWORKS! and others - including a special appearance from FREE CONCERT FREE CONCERT SATURDAY SATURDAY EVENING EVENING Highcotton, Highcotton, rock band rock “Aaxis, band ” Christian “Aaxis,” Christian Youth Theater Youth Th FOLLOWED BY FIREWORKS! appearance from Xena the Warrior Puppy and others including a special appearance from Featuring “Von Grey” the highly-acclaimed quartet of sisters FOLLOWED Xena the Warrior Puppy FOLLOWED BY FIREWORKS! BY FIREWORKS! and othersand - including others - including a special appearance a special appearance from fr Featuring “Von Creek Grey” and the highly-acclaimed quartet of sisters“Von Grey” Xena the Warrior Puppy FeaturingFeaturing “Von theGrey” highly-acclaimed the highly-acclaimed quartet ofquartet sisters of sisters from Johns fan-favorite “Banks & Shane” Xena the Warrior Xena thePuppy Warrior Puppy from Johns Creek and fan-favorite “Banks & Shane”from Johnsfrom Creek Johns andCreek fan-favorite and fan-favorite “Banks & “Banks Shane”PETS & Shane”WELCOME!

WELCOME! Enter ourPETS popular Pet Parade on Sunday Enter ourEnter popular ourPet popular ParadePet onParade Sundayon Sunday Enter our popular Pet Parade on Sunday PETS WELCOME! PETS WELCOME!

For more For more information,visit information,visit For more information,visit For more information,visit

The Pulse 10.39 » September 26, 2013  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative

The Pulse 10.39 » September 26, 2013  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative