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Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Have Yourself A Locavore Thanksgiving by Jim Pfitzer

FREE • News, Views, Music, Film, Arts & Entertainment • November 18, 2010 • Volume 7, Issue 46 •


The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Art Director Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Local Sales Manager Jonathan Susman Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Townes Webb Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Reginald Owens Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, Michael Crumb John DeVore, Janis Hashe Joshua Hurley, Matt Jones Tara Morris-Viland, Ernie Paik Gary Poole, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editorial Interns Blake Hampton, Reginald Owens Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries Calendar Submissions The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

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President Jim Brewer, II


O wee xt ne

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

AL RN e NU TU ICK Puls AN RE . R he E R T TH D k in


12 HAVE YOURSELF A LOCAVORE THANKSGIVING By Jim Pfitzer In 2007, Ben Zimmer, editor of American dictionaries at Oxford Press, announced their word of year, and a movement that had been building in little circles all around the country became known to the world. The new word was “locavore,” and it referred to people who make conscious efforts to eat as locally, as minimally processed, and as natural and preservative-free as possible.

news & views

feature stories 20 BEAT HUNGER CRAZY By Tara Morris-Viland Whether you praise the pilgrims and Columbus or despise the fact we celebrate the eventual near-extermination of an entire race, the need to get down to the core of giving and thanks is the main point.

27 THE FABULOUS MR. KEENE By Michael Crumb Steve Keene has sent his uniquely obsessive, fragmented vision of Chattanooga in the form of more than 700 original paintings on view (and for sale) at Chenoweth.Halligan Studios on Rossville Avenue.

32 KILLING THE DREAM WHILE WAITING By John DeVore If there is one common thread linking nearly every American, it is that we have all been to school. For most of us, those schools were public. Many of us spent years sleeping during math, irritating substitutes, and ignoring our homework.

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Letters to the Editor New Blood In East Ridge I am glad to see some new blood in East Ridge city government [“New East Ridge Mayor Has Ambitious Goals”, Five Questions”]. For far too long our city has been run with an antiquated idea. The good old boy network seems like it might be coming to an end. Let’s certainly hope so. I am anxious to see how our new mayor handles the situations he will be coming into. Best of luck Mayor Lambert. Paul Wilson Compassion For Animals I did not witness the actual incident [“Dogs Thrown Off Walker County Highway Overpass”]. I stopped to offer assistance to what I thought was mere “hit by car”, and was told then that the dogs had been thrown off the overpass. After several minutes via cell phone with a couple of different agencies, the witness and I were attempting to load the larger of the two injured canines into my vehicle when a Walker County Deputy arrived. With his help, the larger of the dogs was put into my car, and I made a U-turn back around

to get the smaller dog. I picked him up myself and left the scene. When I left, the gentleman who witnessed the incident was speaking to the officer and I told them should they need me for any information, I was taking the animals to my employer, Dr. Britt Schaffeld at the Animal Medical Center in Fort Oglethorpe. At that point, I had only one thing on my mind, and that was to seek immediate attention for these injured dogs. I regret I did not get the name of the man who actually saw this happen, but would like to extend a thank you to he and the Walker County deputy who helped us. Were it not for them, and the actions of the doctors and other staff of The Animal Medical Center, these two canines would likely not have survived. I might also add that this was done at “no charge”, even before the news stations ran the story and the owners were located. Inez Castleberry Troubles With Unions This is typical for unions in today’s market place [“Union Members Picket East Brainerd Church”]. Overcharge for below

average work, and put the blame on an upstanding member of the community (a minister no less). I hope other contractors do as Helton Construction has done and give the jobs to those who deserve them, and not to those who feel they have the right to them. This once again shows the ignorance of the vast majority of union labor in this country today. By the way, nice job with the American auto industry. Kurt Keene

Send all letters to the editor and questions to We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.


The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week:

A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“It will keep our carbon footprint low, keep our utility costs low, and that means more sustainability income.” — Tina Shaw Cox, director of ReStore operations, speaking about the LEEDcertified expansion of the Habitat for Humanity building materials resale store on Main Street.

Bullying A Problem With Schools A recent “Connecting The Dots” summit held at the United Way featured Jason Winn, the director of The Fat Boy Chronicles, an upcoming film that looks at an obese teen faced with torment and bullying in school and beyond. The timing of the conference was especially noted, since it was at the same time that Hamilton County School Superintendent Dr. Jim Scales launched an investigation after two middle-school students reported to the school administration that they had been targeted by bullies. One student was so afraid of being bullied, he decided to forgo attending school at all, fearing physical assault. His complaint said that he had been verbally taunted by older students, and threatened with physical violence if he didn’t acquire a cell phone for the lead bully. The student wrote a letter to the principal of Orchard Knob Middle as well as Dr. Scales, claiming that the bullying happens on a regular basis in all of his classes and during the lunch period. Another letter sent to Dr. Scales came from a student at Dalewood Middle School, who asked to be transferred to another school after enduring bullying for several years. Scales said he immediately brought the letters to the attention of Secondary Operations Director Robert Sharpe, who is making a thorough investigation. The main fear that educators and administrators have is one of the most painful is-

sues they have to deal with: teen suicide. The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta in its latest report on young people between the ages and 15 and 24 noted that suicide was the third leading cause of death. Perhaps even more worrisome is that it is the fourth leading cause of death for children aged 10 to 14. According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, 19.3 percent of high school students have seriously considered killing themselves, 14.5 percent of high school students made actual plans for committing suicide, and more than 900,000 youths planned their suicides during an episode of major depression. One of the major factors noted by re-

searchers who study teen suicide is bullying. And one has only to pick up a recent newspaper or watch a cable news channel to note the depressing number of recent suicides by teens, overweight, an ethnic minority, or with a different sexual orientation than their tormentors. While there are no quick fixes for the ageold problem of bullying, Dr. Scales has made it clear that he and his staff take every complaint very seriously and are taking strong steps to both punish bullies when they can be identified and make it easier for victims to reach out to authority figures before they get the point where they feel suicide is their only escape.

Are You Ready For Some Futbol? Tickets are now available for the international soccer exhibition match between the Under-20 Mexican and Colombian Men’s National Teams at Finley Stadium on Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at 7 p.m. Chattanooga FC will serve as one of the hosts for the teams’ three-game swing through the Southeast. With their United States trip sponsored by the Atlanta Beat, Chattanooga FC board member Sheldon Grizzle said the teams’ US organizer, Scott Spencer, contacted Chattanooga FC about hosting the game. “It was an easy decision for us to host the match,” said Grizzle. “As we try to elevate Chattanooga’s reputation as a soccer town, these are exactly the kinds of opportunities we hope to continue to bring here.” Tickets are $20 at the gate, $15 in advance. To purchase tickets in advance, visit www. Tickets will also be available for purchase at El Meson in Hixson and Hamilton Place, as well at all Loa Carniceria locations in Chattanooga, Dalton and Cleveland. For more information, visit

Here is one of the more interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the Tuesday, November 23 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council. 5. Ordinances - Final Reading: b) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, by annexing certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of said city, being the northern most part of Tax Parcel No. 153-007 located along West Hills Drive near Cummings Highway in Hamilton County, Tennessee, owned by Obar Investments, LLC, being more fully described herein.

Just when everyone thought that annexation was all behind us (except for the various lawsuits still working their way through the court system), comes another new annexation ordinance. This is the second part of the two-part public hearing process for city administrators to present their annexation plans and describe the services that will be offered to the new area as well as for people to speak either in favor or opposition to the annexation itself. Bring popcorn. The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agenda and minutes from past city council meetings, visit | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse



The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Firefighters are, quite naturally, expected to put out fires, not start them. However, not all firefighters are created equal, as in the case of a Mowbray firefighter and his wife who have been arrested for arson. A house fire on Montlake Road back in April was put under investigation as soon as it was determined the house was owned by a firefighter. After a lengthy investigation, the lead detective went before the grand jury with enough evidence to get indictments against both the firefighter and his wife for deliberately burning their house down. The two were taken into custody and given a $15,000 bond. The house itself was a total loss, with damages estimated at more than $130,000. • One doesn’t have to be a firefighter, though, to be accused of arson. A woman who rented a house on Rawlings Street with her now ex-boyfriend is facing charges of trying to burn it down after an argument. The woman, according to neighbors, had a very loud argument and then removed all of her belongings from the house while yelling that she was going to burn the place down. Several hours

later, firefighters responded to the home and quickly doused a small fire. The woman, who was still on the scene, complained of smoke inhalation and was taken to a local hospital…where she was subsequently arrested after being treated and released. The actual damages to the house were relatively minimal, but we are fairly certain her next residence won’t be as easy to start on fire. • It has been well documented that drug dealers are not exactly the best and brightest. Sure, they may have learned some basic chemistry, but as far as being responsible members of society, they pretty much get an “F.” Case in point: a routine check on the welfare of a 5-yearold child led to the discovery of a meth lab. A social worker stopped by an East Dallas Road residence, and while checking to see if there was food for the child to eat, found several large jars of a suspicious liquid. The house was evacuated and narcotics officers were called in, who found components of a working meth lab as well as drug paraphernalia, along with meth and marijuana. Three adults were arrested, while the child was removed and placed in protective custody.

Top Earning Dead Celebrities of 2010

• Bullying is not the only problem going on with local schools. A $1,000 reward is being offered by the Hamilton County Commission for information leading to the arrest of those responsible for the recent vandalism to the Wallace A. Smith Elementary School in Ooltewah. County Commissioner Chester Bankston said that someone broke in through a window, ransacked a couple of classrooms, sprayed graffiti and demolished a greenhouse. A number of items were also stolen during the vandalism spree. Bankston proposed the reward offer to his fellow commissioners, who approved the measure. He said he believes school children were responsible, and hopes the parents will come forward and pay for the damages.

1. Michael Jackson: $275 million 2. Elvis Presley: $60 million 3. J.R.R. Tolkien: $50 million 4. Charles Schulz: $33 million 5. John Lennon: $17 million 6. Steig Larsson: $15 million 7. Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel): $11 million 8. Albert Einstein: $10 million 9. George Steinbrenner: $8 million 10. Richard Rogers: $7 million The folks at Forbes Magazine each year compile a list of which dead celebrities earned the most money for their estates. The King of Pop tops this year’s list, to no surprise, but who knew that Albert Einstein, of theory of relativity fame, did so well? Source: Forbes Magazine | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Beyond The Headlines

The Plan for Keeping the Queen

By Janis Hashe

“The Delta Queen is currently for sale with potential buyers making appointments to tour the boat with purchase options in mind.”



he’s been docked next to Coolidge Park since February 2009 and open as a hotel since July of that same year. The Delta Queen would appear to have settled in as a major Chattanooga attraction—but not so fast. As reported by’s “Cruise Blog”, the parent company that owns the Queen, Ambassadors International, put the steamboat up for sale last August, and she’s currently listed at $4.75 million by real estate broker Colliers International. “Her potential private or public uses [are] listed as hotel or restaurant, day charter or cruise service, museum or historical display, entertainment venue, theme park or tourist destination, or ‘other uses as deemed appropriate’”, the blog reports. What you might not know is that there is a group of people all over the country bound and determined to save the Delta

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Queen. Many of them have been on tens—or even hundreds—of cruises on her when she was still steaming on the rivers, and are still hoping that another exemption can be pushed through Congress, allowing the circa-1927 Queen to return to the river. As the Frommer blog explains, “The Delta Queen finally lost a decades-long congressional exemption to national safety at sea (or, in this case, river) laws, which long ago banned the kind of wooden decks and superstructure that help make Delta Queen special. With no exemption, the Delta Queen was forced to stop offering overnight cruises, though she was on solid legal ground for operating day cruises or offering overnight accommodations while docked.” And now there’s yet another group, a nonprofit organization called the “Delta Queen Preservation Foundation”, founded here in Chattanooga, and dedicated to saving the grand old girl. The foundation debuted at a “Rally on the River,” on Thursday, November 4. The Queen’s new hotel managers, Leah Ann and Randy Ingram, want the steamboat to stay in Chattanooga as “a permanent piece of our city’s riverfront.” As materials from the new foundation note, “The Delta Queen is currently for sale with potential buyers making appointments to tour the boat with purchase options in mind. Some want to dismantle her for pieces of her valuable infrastructure, while others have ideas of turning her into a time-share. Any option that takes away from this boat’s unique history or changes her infrastructure could put her historic designation in jeopardy, which means one of our city’s favorite

attractions could soon go away…without your help.” At the Rally on the River, visitors could tour the Queen, guided by some of her former passengers, who have bonded over the years and support the vessel’s preservation. Also back were crewmembers who worked on the Queen up until the time she docked in Chattanooga. All of them were impressive in their knowledge of and dedication to the “boat,” as steamboats must always be called, according to one crewmember. It was also the first time since the Queen’s arrival in Chattanooga that visitors could witness her mighty steam engines in operation. A group of skilled steamboat engineers, several from the Delta Queen’s past, were on hand to operate the engines and other auxiliary equipment. Her huge engine is still in operating order—and the guides and crewmembers were full of tales about life on the river. The Ingrams have also hired a new executive chef, Jason W. Lutton, and on-board diners will soon notice a big change in the Queen’s cuisine. Lutton is currently touring with the Eagles as their personal chef, but on his arrival in Chattanooga, he will revamp the menu and the Queen will begin offering upscale fare. Holiday updates: Entertainers Laura Sable and Bill Weimuth will return to the Queen between November 25 and December 8, and on Thanksgiving Day, the Orleans Room onboard will host a full Thanksgiving dinner between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. For more information on the foundation established to keep the Delta Queen in Chattanooga, | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Ways to Care

By Janis Hashe

AIDS: Not Gone and Not Forgotten


t is estimated that there were 33.4 million people living with HIV/AIDS worldwide at the end of 2008. Approximately 2.7 million people were newly infected with HIV (the AIDS virus) in 2008. UNAIDS estimates that HIV/AIDS took the lives of more than 2 million people in 2008.” These sobering statistics are from a report compiled in March 2010 by the AIDS Commission of Toronto. The report continues, “Women account for approximately 50 percent of people infected with HIV. In most regions of the world, HIV is affecting women and girls in increasing numbers. “In 2008, around 430,000 children were born with HIV, bringing to 2.1 million the total number of children under 15 living with HIV. “Young people account for around 40 percent of all new adult (15+) HIV infections worldwide.” Those of us who lived through the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s will never forget watching friends and family members die of this disease. I lost several close friends in the theatre community, as well as one of the best teachers I ever had.


He was in his early 30s, and his many students mourned the years of wonderful, inspirational teaching lost. Though other world events have obscured AIDS in world, and especially American, consciousness, it continues to be a major killer worldwide. Here in Chattanooga, 2008 stats estimated that more than 1,000 people were infected with HIV. Chattanooga’s large African American population is directly impacted, as one of the groups with a growing percentage of infection is African American women. That’s why December 1, World AIDS Day 2010, should be a part of your plans, even as we plunge happily into the holidays. The theme this year is “Universal Access and Human Rights”. Global leaders have pledged to work towards universal access to HIV and AIDS treatment, prevention and care, recognizing these as fundamental human rights. Valuable progress has been made in increasing access to HIV and AIDS services, yet greater commitment is needed around the world if the goal of universal access is to be achieved. Millions of people continue to be infected with HIV every year. In low- and middle-income countries, less than half of those in need of antiretroviral therapy are receiving it, and too many do not have access to adequate care services. Event Details for World AIDS Day 2010, December 1, are as follows: Noon to 1 p,m. : Human AIDS Ribbon The Chattanooga-area Ribbon will be held at Renaissance Park (Manufacturers Rd. at Cherokee Blvd.). Assemble at the Pavilion, next to the parking lot. Other “ribbons” will be assembled at the same time in many other areas. Everyone is welcome to assemble people for participation in ANY area, for the “Mass Participation” quest for a Guinness World Record. Here is what you will need: 1) Somewhere to assemble

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2) People to participate 3) Sign-in sheet (purely for a numbers count) 4) Red balloons 5) Digital camera and photos to document the event Instructions: 1) Have the participants sign in. 2) Provide them with a red balloon. 3) Around 12:30 p.m., assemble the participants into the “Ribbon Shape” Hints: Assemble a single row of people in an upside-down V-shape for the base. Assemble a single row of people in a circle at the top of the V-base. Add the remaining participants to the basic shape already established, above the “base” people 4) Have everyone inflate their balloons and hold them just above their heads. 5) Take digital photos Hint: Try to assemble people on a slope /steps, etc., or have the photographer set up from a high vantage point. 6) Keep the sign-in sheets (for number verifications) safe. 7) E-mail the digital photos the same day to: Mgfintn@ 8) Please note in your e-mail and on your sign in sheet, the location of your Ribbon, number of participants and the time of the photo. 8 p.m. – 10 p.m. Evening Program - “FACING AIDS” UTC Auditorium (doors open 7:30 p.m.) Seating limited to 300 • Local Film Documentary - Facing AIDS Locally • Quilt Unveiling - Local AIDS Quilt • Musical entertainment by the Tennessee Valley Pride Singers • Theater Presentation - Facing AIDS, by The Ensemble Theater of Chattanooga • Report on the Human AIDS Ribbon event and participation numbers The Auditorium is located on the second floor of the University Center building. For more information about the worldwide event, search for the group page “World AIDS Day 2010” on Facebook. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Cover Story

Have Yourself A Locavore Thanksgiving by Jim Pfitzer


The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

Cover Story

In 2007, Ben Zimmer, editor of

American dictionaries at Oxford Press, announced their word of year, and a movement that had been building in little circles all around the country became known to the world. The new word was “locavore,” and it referred to people who make conscious efforts to eat as locally, as minimally processed, and as natural and preservative-free as possible. “It’s significant,” says Zimmer, “in that it brings together eating and ecology in a new way.” According to, our food “travels an average of 1,500 miles before ending up on our plates.” Some of the effects of this are obvious, such as the high carbon footprint left behind by all the trucking necessary for Tennesseans to eat California tomatoes, and the amount of preservatives and processing needed to prevent spoilage, not to mention the vast scale of agriculture, that has led to the collapse of family farms, and the sterilization of lands under the burden of monoculture. Other costs aren’t so readily clear, however, such as the reduction of the nutritional value of foods, the government subsidies that prop up farms, and the once small-time farmers that have become nearly enslaved by the huge corporations that contract them. And how about the alarming fact that many school children cannot tell you where a chicken comes from or even that strawberry is more than just a flavor? And

what about flavor? If your tomatoes aren’t local, vineripened, and chemical free, you might well ask yourself what a tomato tastes like, because there is a good chance you don’t know. Given the current agricultural situation, just how realistic is it to actually eat locally? Can you buy local at the grocery store? For this article, I set out to answer those questions by preparing the most locavore Thanksgiving dinner I possibly could. To help me in my task, I enlisted local cook and author of to help me out. Before tackling local, I asked Ann Keener to ponder Thanksgiving for me. “There is something very special about Thanksgiving.

There are no gifts to buy, no candy to gorge on, no church services to attend, no candles to light. There are simply two things: family and food. Thanksgiving has amazingly lived through the 300-some-odd years of our culture, from the first musket ball to the latest tweet on Twitter without being adulterated or changed. There are no new gimmicks to buy and nothing more to NEED, just the basic human desire to share the seasonal harvest bounty. “The meaning of Thanksgiving is this: There is one day out of the entire year that, no matter how busy we are, we will stop and go home for a large, warm meal shared with friends and family. It is a deep-rooted autumn harvest festival, along with the deep-rooted | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Cover Story

desire to sit down for a long luxurious meal. It is the most amazing holiday because it is not amazing at all. And yet, the simplicity of sitting down to eat a meal lovingly prepared with seasonal ingredients like sweet potatoes and collards might just happen once a year for some folks.” It seemed to me that at the core of locavorism is the family and food of which Ann spoke. For our experiment, we had the family part taken care of. It was Ann’s sister-in-law’s birthday, so our pre-Thanksgiving feast for 20 would honor her. All we needed was local, minimally processed, preservative-free food. I poked around a bit to find out what locavore experts considered to be “local.” The 30 Mile Meal Project of Athens, Ohio has a self-evident opinion, while the USDA considers 400 miles or within the same state to be a “DGD” or daygoods-distance. Others say 50 or 100 miles is local. With such a broad range of opinions, I turned to the Taste Buds Local Food Guide, a publication of


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Crabtree Farms that showcases “local foods, markets, farms and food-crafters” Their focus kept them within a 100-mileradius of Chattanooga, so that is the target we adopted. We were now ready to shop. We would complete all shopping in one day, buying only what was available at the moment—fresh food, no preorders, no deliveries. We would spend the next preparing the food and serving the meal. This meant that planning the meal would happen as we shopped and while we cooked. Shopping began with the two grocery stores I am most familiar with. At 2.5 and 2.2 miles from my house, Greenlife Grocery on the north shore and Bi-Lo in St. Elmo were pretty darned close. To make my shopping easier, I found a knowledgeable employee upon entering each store. Unfortunately, people in management at both stores informed me that because I was writing an article for publication, they were not allowed to talk with me. Bi-Lo gave me a corporate phone number, while Greenlife made the

Cover Story call for me and said they would get back to me when they had a response. Four days later (and two days after our meal) I have yet to hear from them. Fortunately, not having corporate permission did not prevent me from shopping and speaking unofficially with employees of both stores, and I have to say that each had their locavore benefits. At Greenlife, I found beautiful collards, kale, and a few cuts of lamb grown right here in Chattanooga at William’s Island Farm, and a handful of meat offerings from Sequatchie Cove. Outside of those two farms, however, I found mostly a plethora of veggies labeled “U.S.A.” Bi-Lo, while not offering anything as close as Greenlife, did stock a wide variety of vegetables in their house “Walter’s” brand, all of which are grown in the Southeast, and some of which were even certified organic, but the Southeast is a big region and as best I could tell, all the produce was trucked to South Carolina for processing and packaging before being trucked out to my neighborhood store, pretty much ensuring that any produce grown in Tennessee, was first shipped out of the state—only to be shipped back

miles from home. So far, so good. Several bright red-orange pumpkins caught Ann’s eye. “Let’s get some of these red kuris.” Having no idea what a red kuri was, I asked her, “What for?” to which she replied, “Soup.” It was clear that I was out of my league here, but excited to see what other ideas my partner might come up with. After spending $17 on several of the red kuris, we moved on to Signal Mountain Farm to buy some organic green tomatoes from Thomas O’Neal. Two booths, and the miles our produce had traveled average of about 23 miles—a pattern we would see throughout our shopping spree. In fact, every stand we visited represented a farm that was well within the 100-mile goal we set for ourselves, with most being much closer. And along with produce, we even found corn meal for stuffing and whole-wheat flour for gravy. When I asked Brad Swancy from Riverview Farms how far his cornmeal traveled to get to market he laughed. “From the field to the bag it was only a mile, then about 55 miles to get here.” And what makes his corn special? “It’s heirloom, non-GMO from our

“All we needed was local, minimally processed, preservative-free food. I poked around a bit to find out what locavore experts considered to be ‘local’.” again. As for the centerpiece of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner: Turkeys at Greenlife were from Pennsylvania and had to be ordered, and Bi-Lo turkeys of unknown origin were scheduled for delivery the day after our feast. We were not off to a good start and our one shopping day was half over. Fortunately, we had one more stop on our list: The Main Street Farmer’s Market—a weekly two-hour gathering of farmers in a vacant lot just a few blocks from my house on the Southside. With bags in hand, Ann and I made the rounds. The first stop: Pocket Farm, located in McClemore Cove, nine miles south of Chickamauga. According to their web site, Pocket Farm “adheres to organic farming practices and offers naturally grown produce free of commercial pesticides and chemicals.” And they are 25 | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Cover Story own seeds so we know what we are growing,” he said matter-of-factly. “And it’s stone ground, which does not generate heat, saving enzymes.” At the River Ridge Farm stand we chatted with farmer Dave Waters about the 13-pound turkey he provided. He told us about turkeys who were out of the brooder and on pasture by the time they were six weeks old. “We use a certified organic, whole-grain, soy-free feed with no by-products,” he said. When I lauded his turkeys for being so much closer than the Pennsylvania birds available at the grocery store, Waters was quick to explain that although his farm is only 50 miles away, he did have to drive them all the way to Bowling Green for processing—the closest place available, and a problem that he and other farmers are addressing. We chose an after-dinner drink from Andrew Gage at Velo Coffee Roasters—decaf coffee roasted in a small batch to guarantee freshness 24 hours before purchasing. To top it off, he delivered his beans by bicycle. Talk about carbon footprint! At the booth next door to Velo, Tom Montague told us about his Link 41 sausage. “We use pork from River Ridge and Sequatchie Cove, and our spices come from Alchemy Spice—all vendors at this market. That way we know that the pork is raised well and spiced with


fresh spices. And our shop is right here on Main Street, so we are serving the neighborhood.” We picked up a couple pounds of Sorghum Baconage—a sausage with extra bacon pieces added to the regular grind and a little bit of sorghum for sweetness. As I was leaving the Link 41 booth, Montague stopped me and asked that I turn the tape back on. Looking back towards Velo, he began talking about his neighbor. “An important aspect of purchasing locally is that you have a concentrated effect on a community,” said Montague, “which is easy to see in our local community, but Andrew is having a specific effect on another community.” Montague was referring to the way Gage buys his beans from a broker who knows how specific farms are growing their beans—whether they are organic or not, how sustainable they are. This attention allows him to target specific growers with specific practices instead of purchasing from the industrial complex. From farm to farm, the stories were largely the same. Organic, sustainable, pesticide-free, and heirloom were words used over and over again to describe what we put into our bags. Unlike at the grocery stores, our problem was not in finding enough local food, but in

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deciding what to leave behind. By the time we got back to the kitchen, we had winter squash, kale, collards, sweet potatoes, peppers, fennel, green tomatoes, sausage, garlic, broccoli, corn meal, flour, arugula, sunchokes, beets, coffee, a leg of lamb, and a turkey; and we purchased every single bit of it at the farmers market. Although we did not keep an exact count, we estimated spending around $215 with an estimated average distance from farm to table for the fresh meat and produce of around 30 miles—local by any standard! We began our cooking around 12:30 p.m. the following day, figuring out what to do with our raw materials on the fly. We stuffed the turkey with a cornmeal/squash/sausage dressing, salted the skin, brushed on a little bacon grease, and left it to do its thing in the oven. Ann came up with a mixed winter squash soup with just enough hot red pepper to give it a little kick. Beets were chopped and roasted, sweet potatoes were mashed with butter, garlic and a couple splashes of Pritchard’s Tennessee Whiskey (from only 60 miles away), greens were wilted with garlic and balsamic vinegar, broccoli was steamed just enough, lamb, plugged with rosemary and garlic, roasted alongside

Cover Story “Two booths, and the miles our produce had traveled average of about 23 miles—a pattern we would see throughout our shopping spree.” the turkey, green tomatoes were diced and glazed to make a sweet salsa, and an amazing thin gravy was cooked down from the combination of drippings in the oven. Finally, 20 people showed up with wine, beer, whiskey, and homemade chocolate cake and brownies for dessert. When we sat down to eat, little needed to be said; a toast was unnecessary. Plates were piled high and spirits were even higher. As I picked up the pieces of my house the day after the big meal, I reflected back on my conversation with Tom Montague at the Link 41 booth and how he took time to share an important part of the Velo coffee story. Perhaps this is where the locavore and Thanksgiving themes overlap. It was important to Montague to make sure his neighbor was shown in the best possible light. Tom makes sausage. Andrew roasts coffee beans. Kelsey raises lambs. Miriam grows peppers. Brad grows and mills corn. Dave raises turkeys. Thomas grows tomatoes. Robin grows wheat. Noah grows greens. Ann cooks. I tell stories. And I could go on and on. I know all this not because I researched them to write a story, but because we have all chosen to engage locally and that means much more than just selling at a farmer’s market, it means being an active part of a community. When I was hearing about Andrew from Tom, I could just have easily been hearing about any of the 20 or so vendors at the market from any one of them. They are part of a truly local, food-based economy—something I failed to find in either of the chain grocery stores, and something that is about so much more than just a carbon footprint. The vendors at the market are a part of each other’s businesses and

lives as well as a part of their customers’ lives; they are a community, something to appreciate and be thankful for, and something Ann had more to say about. “Giving thanks for the most precious and basic gifts of humanity should not only happen once a year. We should give thanks to every lettuce leaf, every tomato vine, and every red beet that is pulled from the soil each time the season rolls around. We should open our homes to our friends and families often and mound their plates with the most delicious things we have to offer. We should give thanks for our grandmother’s gravy, our aunt’s soft white rolls, and our mother’s smashed sweet potatoes more often. Thanksgiving should not be the only day out of the year where the meat we are eating is more important than the cars parked in the driveway. It should not be the only day that we celebrate the hands that grew and cooked our food, and it should certainly not be the only day that we enjoy each other’s company around the dinner table.” Thanksgiving is coming up next week, and it isn’t too late to celebrate locavore—we are blessed to have a rich bounty of local farmers and food preparers using products from those farms. You have your families to eat with, but we found that you can reach a little farther to be a part of a bigger family. We chose the Main Street Farmer’s Market, which will be open the Tuesday before Thanksgiving from 4-6 p.m. but there is also the Chattanooga Market on Sunday and the Brainerd Market on Saturday. Check them out before you hit the grocery store. See what you can buy locally, get to know your farmers—and support the local food economy. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Music Feature

By Tara Morris-Viland

Beat Hunger Crazy


he giving season is upon us. Sprinkled with pumpkin-pie spice, topped with whipped cream and stuffed with…well, stuffing. Whether you praise the pilgrims and Columbus or despise the fact we celebrate the eventual near-extermination of an entire race, the need to leave out the semantics and get down to the core of giving and thanks is, at least to me, the main point. While philanthropy is admired and needed year round, it really seems to take hold when the fall and winter months take over. Maybe it’s the thought of being cold and without proper clothing and shelter. Maybe it’s the guilt of overeating while others fight for soup at the community kitchen, or to get transportation to the free church dinner in St. Elmo once a week. Either way, our hearts go out a bit further this


time of year, and we search for ways to volunteer and help out in some small way. My musically inclined philanthropists all know that the local bands and venues are forever giving back, and the musicians at UTC are no exception. The University of Tennessee in Chattanooga has been providing entertainment for decades. Classically trained artists in all genres span the campus. And November 21 and 22 in the Roland Hayes Concert Hall, you are going to have the opportunity to see some amazing local percussionists while supporting the Chattanooga Community Kitchen in their annual event, Beat Hunger. Beat Hunger is now a tradition and kick-off to the giving season as the UTC Percussion Ensemble has become well known throughout the Southeast. This group of guys and gals will come together and perform with instruments from traditional drums to African djembes, handclaps, iron pipes and cymbals. The group is led and directed by Dr. Monte Coulter, director of percussion studies at UTC, and coordinator of the graduate school of music. He is currently principal percussionist with the Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra, and an avid member of the music community. Beat Hunger has entertained thousands and with the help of audience members, has provided thousands of pounds of food donations over the years. All proceeds will benefit the Community Kitchen—from every donation to every candy bar sold. This year, there will be a new treat as a group of four locals have gotten together and started The Funkabuckets. You may

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have spotted these young men around town at Lookouts’ games, outside of the old Bijou and First Tennessee Pavilion, or anywhere else they can place a bucket. All expert and classically trained percussionists, The Funkabuckets will get your mojo workin’ and booty inspired to Beat Hunger. Part improvisational music, part theatre, this quartet has taken the five-gallon bucket to a new level. You can catch them in the lobby before the show, and as since there is limited seating, you have even more initiative to avoid being tardy! The Chattanooga Community Kitchen not only serves meals, but is a facilty and outreach program providing a multitude of services to those who are down and out. Since 1982, they have concentrated not only on physical but spiritual hunger. They offer shelter and housing, employment, physical/mental healthcare,and many more services for men, women, and children in the area—all at no expense to those in need. And for you to help, all you need is a minimum of two canned goods or a check for $2 made out to the Chattanooga Community Kitchen, a love for music and helping others, and a seat in the Roland Hayes Concert Hall for Beat Hunger. Dr. Coulter tells us that this will be the best year yet and a don’t-miss. So before you drag out the Christmas tree, remember to give thanks, even if it is simply for whoever came up with a drum, a beat, and the ability to give passion to all that you do. For more information on how to give this year, you can head to and enter our city. As you zoom the Internet, head over to and look up The Funkabuckets and Beat Hunger to get an idea of what you will hear November 21 and 22.

Beat Hunger and The Funkabuckets Two canned goods or $2 check to the Chattanooga Community Kitchen 7:30 p.m. Sunday, November 21 and Monday, November 22 UTC Fine Arts Center, Roland Hayes Concert Hall

New Music Reviews

By Ernie Paik

Various Artists

The 1900s

Matador at 21

Return of the Century



Matador Records celebrated its 21st birthday last month with a weekend extravaganza in Las Vegas and the release of a 6-CD boxed set, and like concerned parents (or just concerned bystanders), it’s an appropriate time for listeners to reflect upon what was unleashed upon the world. It’s one of the most prominent independent American record labels, but it’s hard to really pin down its sonic identity—even among the distorted-guitar rock bands of the early years, there are exceptions like the twisty oddballs Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 and Scottish power-popsters Teenage Fanclub. Matador quickly found immense success, summarized by a three-track run on disc two, The Years of Milk and Honey, featuring Liz Phair, Pavement, and Guided By Voices, but there are also treasures from outfits that never quite got the audiences they deserved, such as the German/Danish band 18th Dye and the devastating post-post-punk group Moonshake. Free to branch out more boldly, Matador ventured into hip-hop and electronic music, but it learned that sustainable success was with acts like Yo La Tengo, Belle and Sebastian, and the New Pornographers. Today, Matador sports bands such as Sonic Youth and Times New Viking, and its acquisition of the label True Panther Sounds expanded its roster, including Girls (whose indie hit “Lust for Life” is included) and the Spanish electronic outfit Delorean. The proceeds from the set go to three worthy charities, and it comes in a handsome flip-top package with custom-made poker chips and a not-quite-illuminating booklet. The sixth disc is of most interest to fans and features previously unreleased tracks recorded at Matador’s 10th anniversary shows; it takes a bit for Pavement to get completely fired up on its eight tracks, but the best numbers on the disc are Cat Power’s stark, tenderly vulnerable songs and Mogwai’s apocalyptic “Ex-Cowboy.” The first five discs don’t trot out rarities, but instead, they stick with sensible and sometimes obvious choices; knowing the label’s diversity, any one listener isn’t expected to like it all (am I alone in thinking that Interpol is way overrated?), but it serves as an honest history of a frequently remarkable label.

The second album from the Chicago band The 1900s, Return of the Century, is such a gentle and harmonious pop album that it’s easy to overlook the fact that it’s actually a concept album about a runaway who joins an underground cult in the desert. Following 2007’s excellent Cold & Kind, the new album is not a straightforward narrative; instead, it reveals itself through the voices of the group’s three vocalists, singing in first person and contributing vague details about the story arc. Front man and main songwriter Edward Anderson has a high, friendly voice that is somewhat reminiscent of a calm Kevin Barnes, sans odd affectations, and he’s joined by Caroline Donovan (Anderson’s collaborator in the side-project Mazes) and Jeanine O’Toole who sing warmly and prettily, providing peculiar glimpses with phrases like “licking snowflakes off my chest” and “drinking soda from a paper plate.” The opener, “Amulet,” introduces the recurring themes of innocence and experience, comparing the runaway to an infant, which is later mirrored in the album’s most upbeat song, “Babies,” where the protagonist apparently finds herself crawling for an escape path. The arrangements are well fleshed-out yet subtly assembled in a manner that provides a full sound but is never overstated, and there’s a great attention to detail; careful listeners will find a multitude of elements lurking in the background, like soft synthetics that allow themselves to be obscured by the more conventional notes. The two- and three-part vocal harmonies are practically flawless, and choice string flourishes are provided by multi-instrumentalist Andra Kulans; the pop instrumentation helps to form a cohesive, balanced sound, highlighted with tuneful solos that weave themselves into the tapestry. Return of the Century may have an immodest title, and its execution is ostensibly modest and not flashy; however, within is an ambitious, oblique plot and meticulously crafted songs within a pop candy shell. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

Grayson Capps with Channing Wilson If you missed Capps’ amazing Barking Legs show, don’t miss this one. $10 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Thursday Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Buckner Brothers 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. The Road Poet Manifesto 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). Grayson Capps with Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. Pontiac Blue 9:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. Cough, Rough Rope, Faded 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Find them on Facebook. SOULEDOUT! Classic and Modern Soul with DJ K7 10 p.m. The Social (next to Public House), 1110 Market St., Ste. 101.


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Friday Spotlight

Friday Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge,1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. Ben Friberg Trio 6 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Tir Asleen (EP Release Show), Between Two Seas, In This Hour, Community, Ethos 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd. Tim Hughes Quartet 7:30 p.m. Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538. Husky Burnette 8 p.m. Magoo’s Restaurant, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 867-1351. Pierce Pettis (Friday Night Special) 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. Ickybod Crankin featuring Lacy of Dandasha Bellydance 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. Priscilla & Little Ricky 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679. Stevie Monce 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. Faux Ferocious 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. Find them on Facebook. Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). Tijuana Donkey Show 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Nathan Farrow Band with Backwater Still 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. Justin Wilcox (Moonlight Bride), Scott Carney (Waxfang), The NonCommisioned Officers 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Find them on Facebook. Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. Iff, Ammon, Dirk Quinn Band 10 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 756-4786. Black Cat Moon 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

The NonCommissioned Officers Nashville band getting a lot of buzz with new cut “Evolve.” $7 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK. Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Find them on Facebook. Kelsey’s Woods 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240.

Saturday Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge,1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. Pay the Reckoning (Irish session music) 6 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Twangtown Paramours 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. Priscilla & Little Ricky 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

Music Calendar

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Saturday Spotlight

Main St. Bike Coop Party with Future Virgins, The Cougs, This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb All they wanna do is ride around, Sally. $7 8 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066. Find them on Facebook. DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart's Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. Snow Black Sunday, Out of Ashes, Kris Bell, Silence the Sorrow 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 756-4786. Matt Martinez 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. EG Kight 9 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. Mike McDade 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). Jessica Hernandez and the Deltas 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St.

Sunday Spotlight

Hegarty & DeYoung 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. Wrestlehemia 3 with Subterranean Circus 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Find them on Facebook. The Dirty Guv Nah’s with Jettison Never 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Sunday Blake Guthrie, Juliana Finch 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041. Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. Putting on the Ritz for the Holidays with Studio in the Mountains 5 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, Room J, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. “Beat Hunger” UTC Percussion Ensemble 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. Tommy Womack 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. Find them on Facebook.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. Nightmare River Band 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Find them on Facebook.

Monday Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. “Beat Hunger” UTC Percussion Ensemble 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Live DJ 8 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

Tuesday Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. Lightning Billy Hopkins 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996.

Pay the Reckoning: Irish Sessions Music What better way to spend to spend a Sunday night? No cover 6 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. Tim and Reece 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

Wednesday Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. Bud Lightning 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. Nathan Farrow 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Velcro Pygmies 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. Open Mic with Mark Holder 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Find them on Facebook. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse



The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 | | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


On The Beat

By Alex Teach

The Complaint A

“What is with people expecting self-esteem counseling on the side of a highway from a guy dodging two-ton bullets because they got caught speeding?” When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. To contact him directtly, follow him on Facebook at


fter a few years on the job, I find it interesting I am more often surprised by the things that happen in my office before I hit the street than on the street itself. I don’t know when that transition occurred, but it did, and my fellow po-po reading this may not have even realized it themselves until reading these very words. (Sorry, guys.) I’m just talking about the day-to-day stuff. I’m supposed to see strange shit so that others do not have to. Bringing order to chaos is literally in the job description, and chaos is, well…chaos. The police and the courts, however, are the antitheses of this chaos and as such, even I actually expect them to behave in an orderly and predictable fashion—but like positive parental mentoring in local inner-city high schools, it’s often a tragic letdown. Today’s surprise was to hear a story about a cop in court over a lawsuit stemming from a ticket he wrote. Cops get sued all the time; it happens and is a rite of passage along with divorce and massive knee and/or back injuries. But in this case, it was the cop who was the plaintiff suing the motorist. Awesome. Officer Brett Robinson, a 14-year-veteran of the LAPD, had pulled over 61-year-old Beverly Manos for traveling 50 MPH in a 35 MPH zone as checked by radar. Two days later, Mrs. Manos filed a complaint against Officer Robinson citing rudeness and being “abrupt”. She also told his Internal Affairs that he was unfairly targeting women, therefore accusing him of “bias”. (“Bias,” or “profiling,” is “bad”.)

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Her scientific method of determining this consisted of “looking back at other motorists he’d pulled over as she passed by on her way to work” the next day. After four months of investigation, IA concluded their investigation, which included review of his audiotapes and an internal audit of his last month’s worth of traffic tickets regarding the accusation of gender profiling. The audit showed that on that day, he wrote 13 tickets, of which nine (or 69 percent) were to males. From the month before, of 120 citations, 55 percent were issued to males. Gender bias? As to the “rudeness” on the stop itself, the audiotape was played in court and the only things used more than the word “please” from a very calm and low-key officer were the defendant’s inquiries as to whether or not the officer knew her husband, a retired LAPD detective (to which he replied, “Yes” before having her sign the citation). Motive for complaint, anyone? The speeding offense that prompted this was concluded by Mrs. Manos pleading guilty in the prior court date. The IA investigation was “unfounded”, but placed in his personnel file. And there it will stay in his permanent file forever. Does the complaint sound like a big deal to you? Certainly not. I’ve had the same with the same results, and any working cop will generate complaints from people who, unsurprisingly, are pissed at getting tickets. Many even drop their IA complaints when IA tells them they will address this after the court date, since it is usually an attempt to get the cop to drop it. (Wrong.) The deal here is: This was clearly a compassionate, professional cop. First off, he wasn’t rude; second, if he had been, he’s there to write you a ticket for having been caught

speeding, not to give you a cookie or make you feel good about yourself. (What is with people expecting self-esteem counseling on the side of a highway from a guy dodging two-ton bullets because they got caught speeding? We hold hands all right. Bleeding rape victims, lost children—but traffic violators? OK, I digress.) What really pissed the judge off was that on a micro scale, this officer at some point will be going for a transfer or a promotion, and even though the complaint was “unfounded”, he will have a permanent record in his file whereas another officer may not, and it could be a clear tipping point on a superior’s decision scale. But on a macro scale, this demeans legitimate complaints against the police that deserve them. You read that right: I believe, quite firmly, that some cops are actually rude and abrupt and capable of bias, and that they should be complained about, but when people lie about these things because they are angry and only wish to make trouble for the officer who caught them breaking the law, it hurts that system of accountability the policing system so desperately needs. (Again, to my fellow po-po: Think of the ones pulling your mother or father over. How do you want them to be treated?) This cop took a huge, courageous step to discourage people from false complaints. And in this case, the judge felt that $5,000 dollars in damages should make Mrs. Manos and others think twice about it. (His award went to a local police foundation to support both widows of officers and children’s sports leagues…still as polite a guy as you could hope for.) Debate it in court. Or just slow down. But in both cases, I highly recommend the truth. Save the complaints for the ones that deserve them (even when it’s me), and the cops will do with the same with the tickets. Even when it’s you. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse



The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

Arts & Entertainment

By Michael Crumb

The Fabulous Mr. Keene


teve Keene has sent his uniquely obsessive, fragmented vision of Chattanooga in the form of more than 700 original paintings on view (and for sale) at Chenoweth.Halligan Studios on Rossville Avenue this weekend. Have you seen an art space without white space? Now’s your chance. You can enter this gallery to view the floor-toceiling spectacle that conveys the highly energetic presence of contemporary worker/painter Steve Keene. Not only will you be able to see this virtual blizzard of images, you’ll be able to help reclaim the gallery’s white space by bringing home a painting (or several), or sculptures, which will sell in the range of $2 - $10 each! We can thank Jerry Dale McFadden of AVA for bringing this special event to Chattanooga, and, I suspect, for helping

with aspects of Chattanooga imagery that form the subjects for many of the paintings. These works can be ascribed to the “snowflake theory”: in other words, a given subject, such as the UFO House, Ruby Falls or Bessie Smith, may be represented as a dozen, or two, or three dozen versions, each of which remains unique. For painting, Keene sets up a series of thin plywood boards and applies strokes sequentially to each, using mostly acrylic house paint. After a short time, he has a set of paintings of a given subject. The palette ranges for these paintings is necessarily limited, but he has a fine sense of tonality, so the colors complement each other well. Consequently, the pieces look good, and some are particularly fine. Keene’s approach to his subjects falls into a postImpressionism to Expressionist range. His strokes tend to a certain broadness, and his subjects are usually realistic, although also he will feature a few, relatively primitive abstracts at the gallery show this weekend. At this point, Keene has produced more than 200,000 paintings. He’s been discussed in Time and Details. Because he’s worked with rock bands, producing cover art as well as other projects, his work has also been described in Billboard and Spin. His unique approach operates through an aesthetic and economic model. Not only is the combination of these two rather unusual, but he has focused very directly on music, in the sense that he wants his paintings to price at a cost comparable to a music CD. Music fans have embraced his work.

Of course, this approach upsets a number of academics, those who would adhere to strict definitions of “fine arts”, and, presumably, the price structure attached to fine arts. Regarding the conceptual level of fine arts, while it’s true that Keene’s subjects are often relatively mundane, and detractors will find words to denigrate them as “trivial”, it’s also true that his method astonishes, because it is both prolific and sustaining of quality. Let me also hazard this observation: That anyone who spends so much time painting will likely find their way to the kind of conceptual breakthroughs that stimulate arts enthusiasts. If bands like Apples in Stereo and Pavement have commissioned his art for their album covers, it’s not likely that they want his work because of its “mediocrity.” Album art has been an important medium for contemporary art at least from the ’60s on. Basically, Keene’s own discipline and personal artistic mission keep him within his current mode of work. Many folks have benefited from his working-class approach. A oneman art factory, he’s been filling cities with his work. Now it’s Chattanooga’s turn. Approach this show with whatever level of discernment you like—you will probably be charmed by something. The press around Keene mentioned Walter Benjamin’s essay “The work of art in the age of mechanical reproduction.” Benjamin connected the “aura” of an artwork with its place. For example, in a room at the La Fonda Hotel in Taos, you can view D.H. Lawrence’s surviving paintings. The proliferation of art images through technology tends to the destruction of the aura that requires its special location. Keene remains a painter, and his presentation of Chattanooga scenes seems a kind of parody of the “aura.”

Steve Keene Show and Sale 6 – 9 p.m. Friday, November 19 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. Saturday. November 20 Noon – 6 p.m. Sunday, November 21 Front Gallery, Chenoweth.Halligan Studios, 1800 Rossville Ave., Ste. 1 (615) 429-7708. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


A&E Calendar Highlights Friday


“Symphonic Shakespeare” at the CSO Mendelssohn’s music for A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Walton’s for Henry V and Prokofiev’s for Romeo and Juliet. A don’t-miss. $19 - $79 8 p.m. Thursday, November 18 and Friday, November 19 Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583.

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String Theory Concert 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. Peter Pan 7 p.m. Chattanooga Christian High School Fine Arts Center, 3354 Charger Dr. (423) 265-6411. George T. Hunter Lecture Series: Newark Mayor Cory Booker 7 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. Machinal 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre, Corner of Vine and Palmetto St. (423) 425-4269. “Dances in Raw States”: Works in Progress 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. The Perfect Idiot 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga High School Center for Creative Arts, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942. Killer Beaz 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

UTC Jazz Band: Funk, Latin and Swing Don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got all of the above. Free 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Roland Hayes Concert Hall, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4601.


New Voices Poetry Reading Improvisational music and spoken word—plus caffeine. Free 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Pasha Coffee House, 3914 St. Elmo Ave.


Friday Morning Art Therapy Group 10 a.m. Rivoli Art Mill, 2301 East 28th St. (423) 322-2514. YMCA Christmas Market 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. Steve Keene Weekend 6 p.m. Front Gallery @ Chenoweth. Halligan Studios, 1800 Rossville Ave. (615) 429-7708. Peter Pan 7 p.m. Chattanooga Christian High School Fine Arts Center, 3354 Charger Dr. (423) 265-6411. “Dances in Raw States”: Works in Progress 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. Machinal 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre, corner of Vine and Palmetto St. (423) 425-4269.

Christmas Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. Chattanooga Ghost Tour 7:30 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. Killer Beaz 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 6292233. The Perfect Idiot 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga High School Center for Creative Arts, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942. CSO Masterworks: “Symphonic Shakespeare” 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583. Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210.

Sunday YMCA Christmas Market 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. Battle Banzai – A Journey through the Jungle 10 a.m. Battle Academy, 1601 Market St. (423) 209-5750. Steve Keene Weekend 10 a.m. Front Gallery @ Chenoweth.Halligan Studios, 1800 Rossville Ave. (615) 429-7708. Brainerd Farmers Market and Holiday Bazaar 10 a.m. Brainerd United Methodist Church, 4413 Brainerd Rd. Furry Tails…With a Twist 11 a.m., 1 p.m. St Andrews Center Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. 423) 987-5141. Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market). (423) 624-3915 Art Til Dark Noon. Northshore. (423) 413-8999. Polar Express 3D Noon. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

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Harvest Moon Ball 5 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 755-3430. Bluegrass Jamboree 6 p.m. Harrison Ruritan Club, 5709 Tyner Ln. 5th Annual Chair Affair Auction 7 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St. (423) 755-9111. Peter Pan 7 p.m. Chattanooga Christian High School Fine Arts Center, 3354 Charger Dr. (423) 265-6411. Machinal 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre, corner of Vine and Palmetto St. (423) 425-4269. Christmas Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. Killer Beaz 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. The Perfect Idiot 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga High School Center for Creative Arts, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942.

Steve Keene Artwork Show/Sale Artist whose work sells for $5 $20 shows 700 pieces. Noon – 6 p.m. Front Gallery, Chenoweth.Halligan Studios, 1800 Rossville Ave., Ste. 1 (615) 429-7708.

Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041. Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 11 a.m., 2, 3, 6 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. Polar Express 3D Noon. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. Steve Keene Weekend Noon. Front Gallery @ Chenoweth. Halligan Studios, 1800 Rossville Ave. (615) 429-7708. Alan Shuptrine Exhibit Artist Reception 3 p.m. The Exum Gallery, St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265. “Beat Hunger” UTC Percussion Ensemble 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. John Waters Day: Polyester and Pink Flamingos 8 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. Find them on Facebook.

A&E Calendar Highlights Monday “Beat Hunger” UTC Percussion Ensemble 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. Deck the Falls Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643. “Flavors of Tuscany” by Cam Busch North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102. 423) 870-8924. “le deluge, après mao” China’s Surging Creative Tide Cress Gallery of Art, corner of Vine and Palmetto St. (423) 425-4600.

Tuesday Charlie Newton: A Retrospective Exhibition Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658. “Women’s Work” Bill Shores Frame and Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 756-6746. Scott Hill Exhibition River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. “Color Zone” Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. “Waterworks: Autumn 2010” Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100. Polar Express 3D (Mon.-Fri.) 10 a.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. Tennessee Aquarium’s Tropical Holiday Adventure 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Wednesday Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. Clash of the Comedians 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. All Member Salon Show AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282. “Domestic” Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 South Broad St. (423) 280-7182 “A Vested Interest” Gold Leaf Designs / Shuptrine’s Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. “Indulgences” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. Deck the Falls Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Dances in Raw States As previewed in The Pulse cover story, “Anatomy of a Dance”, local dancers present works in progress. $5 7 p.m. Thursday, November 18 and Friday, November 19 Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse



The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

Life in the Noog

By Chuck Crowder

Hey Macarena! O

“It’s nothing new for those with limited talent to gain extraordinary popularity based in large part on the public’s inability to see the forest for the trees.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website at

ne thing that I’ve noticed as an entertainment fan is that, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t necessarily take a bold new look, dance move or even talent to become famous beyond your wildest imagination. All it takes is infection. If you can find that nerve in someone that craves mindless, repetitious fodder and jump up and down on it with any sort of ambition—you’re gonna be a star. Because even though America may have talent, it generally wouldn’t know talent if it came up and tap-danced on its skull. This phenomenon enables talentless, obnoxious hacks to enter the mainstream and start taking money while those who should be “gettin’ paid” are still busking on a street corner near you. It’s no secret that in order to “sell to masses and live with the classes” you have to give the people what they want. Or, at least tell the people what they want in the form of shoving it down their throats, or as mentioned earlier, tickling that bone in one’s body that craves stupid, infectious nonsense. As far as the telly goes, you have to create a scenario that features “next door” folk on a quest to make it big. American Idol, Iron Chef, The Biggest Loser, Survivor and The Amazing Race take the concept of participating in a game show to the next level by delivering a new enthusiasm for rooting for the little guy. And, if that’s too much trouble, you can always live vicariously through a “reality” series set in a tattoo shop, hair salon or summer house on “da shore.”

At the movies, you have to create a fantasy situation that would never happen in anyone’s real life and Hollywood-ize it. I’m not necessarily talking about Twilight or the “Harry Potter” series, although in a way I am. I’m referring to Hot Tub Time Machine, The Hangover or any one of the many onscreen “careers” Tom Cruise has turned into a fantasy job that you too could perform with the same charisma, if you were Tom Cruise. Then there are the dance crazes. The Macarena, Boot Scooting Boogie and the one everyone seems to know after a few drinks at any wedding reception—The Electric Slide. The only thing sadder is the middle-aged bottom-lip-biting dancers who can’t resist singing along to “Mustang Sally” (“riiiide Sally ride”) or “Celebrate” (“good times, c’mon!”). One trick to becoming famous is to be as unbearable as possible with your voice or demeanor. Take Ben Stein, for example. A great economist and right-wing opinionist he very much is, but a spokesperson he is definitely NOT. That droney, nasal-driven, ceaseless banter that causes him to skip through words in order to make a point is probably the worst endorsement Free Credit Score dot com or any other respectable business could enlist. Same goes for Wilford Brimley. Like those two examples, however, the same can be applied to music. It’s nothing new for those with limited talent to gain extraordinary popularity based in large part on the public’s inability to see the forest for the trees. For the record, Eric Clapton, BB King

and Carlos Santana are three of the most overrated guitarists on the planet. What about often-overlooked guitarists such as Lindsay Buckingham, Tom Petty’s Mike Campbell or even Jack White for that matter? Seems the music people are drawn to most is usually based in large part to the infectious, albeit incredibly repugnant siren’s song of the lead singer’s voice. Prime examples include Pearl Jam, Kings of Leon and the crème de la crème—The Dave Matthews Band. How Alanis Morrisette ever got a record deal is beyond me. That’s why the country music industry doesn’t take any chances. If you don’t look good or can’t sing, you don’t stand a chance of standing on the Opry stage. Now, these unapologetically manufactured acts don’t have much say in the ugly songwriters’ tunes they’re “encouraged” to perform or what the end product of their records and videos will end up being, but former waitresses don’t really seem to care, now do they? When it comes to recognizing true talent, the public is generally limited in nature to who’s on deck at any given moment. Most consumers don’t have the time or inclination to discover the diamonds in the rough, but in many ways they do embrace true talent when it rises to the top. Take Betty White. I’d given up on her when the Mary Tyler Moore Show was cancelled back in the 70s. But thanks to some advertising creative director who thought she’d be the perfect “diva” persona in a Snickers commercial 30 years later, she’s everywhere—and now we all remember how talented she really is, now don’t we? Go Betty! | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Film Feature

By John DeVore

Killing the Dream While Waiting for Superman I

f there is one common thread linking nearly every American, it is that we have all been to school. For most of us, those schools were public. Many of us spent years sleeping during math, irritating substitutes, and ignoring our homework. Sure, the first few grades may have been fun, but the schedules became increasingly more repetitive, the teachers more resigned, and the girls more attractive. We weren’t interested in school, because school wasn’t particularly interested in us. Whether we attended rural schools, suburban schools, or schools in the inner city, by 9th grade, our teenage minds had learned everything they needed to function as adults, and the subject of geometry seemed as obtuse as the angles that flickered on the failing overhead projector. No one told us differently, because our teachers had written us off as lost, just as their teachers had dismissed them. We needed someone to tell us that we were responsible for ourselves, responsible for our own learning. We needed someone to tell us that our future depended on it. Maybe some of us had one person, one teacher that made a difference, that got through our isolating adolescence and spoke to the burgeoning adult within. And that person may have shaped the direction our lives took in profound ways. In fact, most of us have at least one story about a teacher that meant something to us, that showed us a better way. But shouldn’t there be more? Shouldn’t we have dozens of stories about inspiring classroom experiences? We certainly had enough teachers. By the time I graduated, I had already been in approximately 55 different classrooms. How powerful could the message of hard work and responsibility have been if it had been reinforced 55 times by admirable, capable people? Waiting for Superman takes a close look at a broken system, giving faces to the faceless statistics of failure in American education. This documentary follows five families


The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

through the hopeful process of providing their children with a better education. It is not news to parents that an address will define school attendance. Some addresses are better than others; some addresses can nearly guarantee high school dropouts. Hope comes in the form of charter schools, schools with proven success rates and high-quality teachers. These schools can create successful students in even the bleakest of circumstances. But of course, there isn’t enough space for everyone. Applicants far outnumber available slots. There is only one way to decide the fates of hundreds and hundreds of kids: chance. And this educational lottery drives the tension of this film. We meet bright children, with lofty aspirations and charming personalities. We meet determined parents, parents who work multiple jobs in order to provide for their families, parents who value education above all else. But circumstance has stacked the odds against these families. And now, the children have to roll the dice simply to have a chance at college. So where does this dysfunction come from? This is a tricky question. The filmmakers set forth a bewildering number of statistics through clever animations and expert interviews. According to the filmmakers, the problem is compounded by a convoluted bureaucracy, a powerful lobby, and a careless workforce. While these situations exist, and are demonstrated alarmingly and with great attention to detail, the stifling educational system is far too complex to be explained away as simple government ineptitude. Yes, the process involved in firing teachers is overly labyrinthine. Yes, teachers' unions are too powerful in terms of policy. And of course, there will always be teachers that abuse the tenure system, as long as performance doesn’t affect their employment. But too little of the film’s time is spent examining funding disparities in neighboring school

districts. There is too little time given to the antiquated system of tracking, outdated by the advent of a global economy. The testdriven system of “No Child Left Behind” is mentioned, but not questioned. The reason for this, I suspect, is that bad teachers and powerful unions are tangible evils. Reform has to start somewhere. Former Washington D.C. Superintendent Michelle Rhee offers some interesting notions on merit pay that certainly deserve national attention. And we see how some charter schools are working and how their principles could be applied. But the story isn’t about the adults or the policies. The story is about children. The lottery at the end of the film is absolutely heart wrenching. I found myself angry at the outcomes. I felt that the liberal in me was forced to make value judgments on which child needed the opportunities the charter school provided more. Children this age shouldn’t be subjected to this kind of stress over their future. They need a childhood without being forced to look ahead to college at age eight and half. Of course all of these children deserve a highquality education. We as a nation need to give it to them. While documentaries of this nature will always have some amount of controversy surrounding them, this one shows real problems with American education, problems that need concrete solutions. Everyone in the country should see this film, whether you have children or not. It is far past time to be our brother’s keeper. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Riley's Spirits Within The Conundrum of a Great White Wine By Joshua Hurley


The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

Wine can be very elusive. You may enjoy a 2007 Pinot Noir from Castle Rock, but think the 2008 tastes like garbage. This phenomenon is not at all uncommon; each vintage is different because each year brings a different growing climate condition that changes the wine’s taste characteristics. It’s all part of the joy of wine, part of the mystery, puzzle or conundrum. This week’s Great Buy thrives on the yearly mystery, a white wine blend by Caymus Vineyards called Conundrum. “Great Buys” is included in my weekly column brought to you by Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson, in which I pick something special from the enormous selection of wine and spirits from around the world and share that selection with the readership of The Pulse. Caymus Vineyards was founded in 1972 by Charles Wagner. Over the years, Caymus has become renowned for producing high-quality red and white wines much sought after by wine enthusiasts around the world. In 1989, Caymus debuted Conundrum White Wine Blend. Wine makers have blended several grape varieties together for centuries. But up until the creation of Conundrum, a white wine blend usually consisted of 90 percent chardonnay with 10 percent semillon to enhance the varietal’s overall flavor. At Caymus, the winemakers wanted to go into an entirely different direction by blending up to six white wine varietals together. Their first step was to pick the top three varietals that are loved by white wine drinkers: chardonnay, sauvignon blanc and, for its sweetness, muscat. Then two other grapes were added in small amounts to spice the wine up: semillon and viognier. These ingredients change in volume from year to year, making every vintage of Conundrum a mystery or a puzzle for the tastes to solve. Conundrum 2008 is the first vintage produced at the stand-alone Conundrum Winery in Monterey, totally separate from Caymus Vineyards. Like the Caymus Zinfandel, Conundrum 2008 is a pure California wine if there ever was one: sauvignon blanc from Napa Valley, muscat from the Central Coast and chardonnay and viognier from Monterey County. How much of each in this vintage is this year’s puzzle or conundrum? Some helpful hints: 1) 25 percent of one varietal was fermented in stainless steel vats. 2) 75 percent of the rest of the varietals were fermented in oak. 3) The wine displays aromas of apricot, honeysuckle and vanilla. 4) This blend gives over to flavors of tropical fruit, peach, pear, lime and honeydew melon. 5) Overall, it seems all flavors complement each other with a light quality and toasty oak. Answer: Mostly chardonnay and sauvignon blanc with hints of muscat and viognier. Conundrum 2008 is available at Riley’s Wine and Spirits for $22.49 plus tax for a 750ml bottle. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Free Will Astrology SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I recently discovered a blues-gospel artist named Famous L. Renfro, who is also known as “The Flying Sweet Angel of Joy.” His soaring, gritty music had a medicinal effect. It seemed to say to me, “You have the power to change your life in the exact way you want to change your life.” Your assignment, Scorpio, is to find a new source of music or art or literature or film that has a similar effect on you: a flying sweet angel of joy that inspires you to do what has been hard for you to do. According to my reading of the astrological omens, such an influence is within your reach right now. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your old self is the fuel you will use to burn your old self to the ground. This bonfire will liberate your new self, which has been trapped in a gnarly snarl deep inside your old self. It’s only at first that you’ll feel freaked out by the flames. Very quickly a sense of relief and release will predominate. Then, as the new you makes its way to freedom, escaping its cramped quarters and flexing its vital force, you will be blessed with a foreshadowing of your future. The intoxication that follows will bring you clarity and peace of mind. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Do we love Heaven more than God?” asks poet Paula Cisewski in her book Ghost Fargo. I think that’s the kind of cryptic question you Capricorns would benefit from mulling over in the coming weeks. Your mind needs to get its customary categories shaken up and rearranged . . . needs its habitual grooves broken up and diverted…needs its easy certainties flushed and abandoned. Can you think of any other queries that will help you accomplish this noble work? Let me offer a few to get you started: 1. Do we love love itself more than we love the people we say we love? 2. Do we fear failure so much that we interfere with our cultivation of success? 3. Do we obsess on our longing to such a degree that we miss opportunities to satisfy our longing? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Sanskrit word buddhi refers to the part of us that adores the truth. It’s good at distinguishing between what’s real and what’s false, and is passionately attracted to liberation. Although it may go into long periods of dormancy in some of us, buddhi never falls asleep completely. It’s always ready to jump into action if we call on it. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Aquarius, the buddhi aspect of your psyche will be extra special big strong and bright in the coming week. In my opinion, that’s better than winning the lottery. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I like how snowboarder Graham Watanabe described his experiences at last February’s Winter Olympics. He wasn’t content with making a generic comment like “It was awesome!” or “No words could describe how great it was!” Instead he got florid and specific: “Try to imagine Pegasus mating with a unicorn and the creature that they birth. I somehow tame it and ride it into the sky in the clouds and sunshine and rainbows. That’s what it feels like.” As you break through your previous limits in the coming weeks, Pisces, I’d love to hear you summon some bursts of articulate jubilation akin to Watanbe’s. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “You don’t want to be the best of the best,” said Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia. “You just want to be the only one who does what you do.” That’s always good advice, but it will be especially apt for you during the next few weeks. You’re entering a phase when competing with other people will get you nowhere fast. What will get you somewhere fast is nurturing your unique talents and proclivities. Do you know exactly what they are? If you’re even a little fuzzy, make it your quest to get very clear. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What is the “soul,” anyway? Is it a ghostly blob of magic stuff within us that keeps


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By Rob Brezsny us connected to the world of dreams and the divine realms? Is it an amorphous metaphor for the secret source of our spiritual power? Is it a myth that people entertain because they desperately want to believe there’s more to them than just their physical bodies? Here’s what I think: The soul is a perspective that pushes us to go deeper and see further and live wilder. It’s what drives our imagination to flesh out our raw experience, transforming that chaotic stuff into rich storylines that animate our love of life. With the gently propulsive force of the soul, we probe beyond the surface level of things, working to find the hidden meaning and truer feeling. I’m bringing this up, Taurus, because it is Celebrate the Soul Week for you. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Nothing changes until it’s changed in everyone’s memories,” said poet Alice Notley. I urge you to keep that in mind as you move forward, Gemini. In recent weeks, you have helped untie a knot that once seemed impossibly tangled, and you deserve kudos for that. But your job isn’t done yet. Your next task is to work on loosening the snarls and smoothing the kinks that still linger in the imaginations of everyone involved. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the 1925 silent film The Gold Rush, Charlie Chaplin plays a prospector during the Alaska Gold Rush. After a series of adventures, he finds himself stuck in a remote cabin on Thanksgiving Day with a ruffian named Big Jim. They’re out of food, so Charlie gets resourceful, boiling his right shoe in a big pot and serving it up steaming hot. What the audience doesn’t know is that the movie prop is made of sweet licorice, not leather. So while it may seem that dinner is a hardship, the actors actually had no trouble polishing off their meal. I see a similar scenario in your near future, Cancerian: something like eating a “shoe” that’s made of candy. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Lots of toddlers in Indonesia smoke cigarettes, not just the chain-smoking twoyear-old in the famous Youtube video ( SmokerKid). But don’t you dare let your inner child get started on a similar habit any time soon, Leo. Make sure that sweet young thing is exposed to only the very best influences; feed him or her only the healthiest food, air, water, sounds, sights, images, and stories. The innocent, curious, wide-eyed part of you is entering a phase when rapid growth is going to happen, one way or another. It’s your job to guarantee that the growth goes in the right direction. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly,” wrote Anais Nin. “We are mature in one realm, childish in another.” In you, Virgo, the discrepancies have been especially apparent lately. For example, your brainy insightfulness has been on a hot streak, while your gut wisdom has not. But I suspect this situation to shift in the coming weeks. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that your emotional intelligence is set to thrive. It will be fine if you concentrate on that phenomenon with all your heart, even if it means investing a little less energy in being an analytical whiz. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the old Looney Tunes cartoons, Wile E. Coyote is constantly chasing after the Road Runner, a long-legged bird that prefers running to flying. Presumably, Coyote would eat the Road Runner if he ever caught him, but he never does; the bird’s too fast and smart. In one recurring motif, the Road Runner dashes into the entrance of a cave that’s cut into a wall of sheer rock. When Coyote tries to follow him, he smashes into the rock, and it’s revealed that the cave entrance is just a very realistic painting. I suspect that you’re going to have the Road Runner’s power in the coming week: an ability to find and use doors that are inaccessible to other people.


Across 1 Ltr. additions 4 Do something 7 Paul in November 2010 news 11 “...___ is mine and I am his...” 12 Arabic greeting 15 Copycat 16 Word before cow or creatures 17 Rank 18 Woodstock logo component 19 New Year’s, in Hanoi 20 Sometime afterward 21 Corrida cries 22 TV part 23 The lion’s share of awards, at awards shows 25 Poking tools 27 Make fuzzy, like people in photos

28 Rosie’s former show, with “The” 29 “Cheers” actress Neuwirth 30 Zippo 33 Advice from “Glengarry Glen Ross” 37 Gyro meat 38 “Now ___ me...” 39 Start of a famous soliloquy 40 “Jackass 3D” actor Chris 42 Baseball card number 43 Malibu maker 46 Mercedes-Benz ___ AMG 47 Mata ___ 48 Seize and carry away 51 ___ in “queen” 52 Perched upon 53 Visited a restaurant

“Down The Middle” –big words all over.

54 Prefix before brow 55 Hand over land 56 Fishing nets 57 Wake and UVA’s gp. 58 Broadway singer/ actress Linda 59 Some NFL players 60 Prefix meaning “ten”: var. Down 1 Large vein 2 Determination 3 City close to Mercer Isl. 4 See 20-across 5 Amazed response 6 Be safety-minded 7 They’re carried out with detection kits 8 Speed skater ___ Anton Ohno 9 “Not gonna happen” 10 Ball garb

12 Application ID 13 Get from ___ B 14 Logical opening? 24 Taverna potable 26 African marshdwelling snake 27 Little shots 31 Group with masks and shields 32 Considering everything 34 ___ City, Florida (historic district of Tampa) 35 Fleur-de-___ 36 Catches something bad 41 Dunn and Ephron 43 “Gossip Girl” actor Crawford 44 Was less than warm toward 45 Wear 49 “Glee” character ___ Sylvester 50 Lofty pts.

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0494. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


Ask A Mexican

By Gustavo Arellano

Back Home on the Rancho

“We return with little more than rancho gossip and a teenage wife—we’re still American at the end of the día.”

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at!


Dear Mexican, I’m thinking of moving to Mexico. I’m a first-generation mexicano. Speaking with my parents about moving, they’re absolutely against it, insisting that it’s violent and that I should be proud of being an American. I’m not looking to lose my American-ness, but just want to add some more mexicano to it. Is there a movement of people of Mexican descent moving to Mexico? —I am Not Joaquín Dear Wab, No need to move to Mexico if you’re looking for more Mexican—just move to Los Angeles! El Paso! The non-racist parts of Tucson! Chicago’s Little Village barrio, or even Pilsen! You didn’t tell me much about who you are, so I’ll peg you as a pocho desperately trying to get in touch with his roots and think a jaunt in the rancho will have you being más macho than Chente (quick aside: gabachos? This happens to ALL children of Mexican immigrants. Eventually, we all feel we lack in cultural authenticity and seek out our roots, usually by returning to the towns of our ancestors. But we return with little more than rancho gossip and a teenage wife—we’re still American at the end of the día, a fact for which we overcompensate by renaming ourselves in Nahuatl or getting an Aztec calendar tattoo). Or, maybe you’re not a pocho but instead a child of immigrants who ac-

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | November 18, 2010 |

companied their parents on annual trips to their native villages, and you have a romanticized view of how life in Mexico is gracias to spending a couple of weeks during holidays, when all the expatriates have returned to show off what they’ve earned in el Norte. Snap out of it, cabrón. Mexicans do move back to Mexico all the time, of course—the Pew Hispanic Center’s report, “Mexican Immigrants: How Many Come? How Many Leave?” cited stats provided by Mexico’s National Survey of Employment and Occupation that figured 433,000 Mexis returned to la patria from February 2008 through February 2009, a figure slightly below previous years—but ever given it any thought as to why your parents left their home country and never returned? Dear Mexican, Why do you think Argentinians think they are superior to Mexicans and other Latin Americans? Could it be because they have a British island? —Che Chingón Dear Wab, One of the few jokes the Mexican knows—and it’s not even a joke, but more of a humorous observation—is that an Argentine is an Italian who speaks Spanish and thinks he’s British. It’s this supposed superiority complex that gets Mexicans’ chonis in a bunch, but I have news for you: all Latin Americans think they’re

superior to other Latin Americans, and all of them think everyone else is snooty (ask a Colombian about venezolanos). Mexis and Argies have no real historical beef outside of soccer, and our countries are more similar than either side would admit to. They welcomed Nazis; we gave Che Guevara and Leon Trotsky a home. Their caudillos (Juan Manuel de Rosas, the Perons, Leopoldo Galtieri) were as buffoonish as ours, but more homicidal. They waged a disastrous war against England for a couple of islands (las Islas Malvinas to the carajos, the Falklands to the rest of humanity), while our efforts to keep Aztlán went laughable. And while Soda Stereo was a great rock en español band, I’ll take Café Tacuba over them any day. So, Mexicans and Argentines: no need to play the superiority game among ourselves—we’re equally jodidos. GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! UCLA Professor Robert Chao Romero is this columna’s go-to expert on all things chinito, and I’m excited to announce he’s finally published a book: The Chinese in Mexico: 1882-1940, a majestic piece of scholarship that mixes in data, anecdote and vivid writing to show how Mexicans mistreated Chinese for far too long—yet the Chinese persevered. Find it in your nerdier bookstores, or buy it online—but buy it. | November 18, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 46 | The Pulse


The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 46  
The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 46  

The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 46