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DECEMBER 1, 2016

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

MainX24: A Singular Celebration Of The Southside 120 EVENTS IN 24 HOURS CREATING COUNTLESS GOOD TIMES

CIRCLE ARTS • HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE • EDGE OF SEVENTEEN


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VOLUME 13, ISSUE 48 DECEMBER 1, 2016

CONTENTS 4 12 14 28

SCENIC CITY HOLIDAY FUN

In case it’s snuck up on you, like it has me, Christmas is just 25 days away. I know...where has the year gone? It’s already December? Yikes! Luckily, we have some event suggestions for you.

COMING OF AGE IN THE ERA OF FORMULA FILMS

Sometimes it seems as if Hollywood is caught in an endless loop. Every few months, the studios cycle through their lineup, a never ending batting order of comic book movies ...

TOWNSEND ATELIER COMPLETES THE CIRCLE

CIRCLE promises to be an exciting chance for visitors of varying budgets to collect quality art. We get a sneak preview of this special thematic exhibit of small and affordable artwork.

MAINX24 ROCKS, FUNKS AND TWANGS THE SOUTHSIDE

For a decade now MainX24 has been the event of the fall/winter season in Chattanooga. For 24 glorious hours the Southside of Chattanooga gets taken over by a party of Dionysian proportions, a gathering with no peer when it comes to the volume and diversity of arts and entertainment.

ALSO INSIDE

8

24 Hours of Southside Celebration The Chattanooga Southside is throwing a party...and you’re invited! Now in its 10th year, the 24-hours of fun that is MAINx24 begins this Saturday, so mark your calendar and start making your plans now (we've included a map, but that only scratches the surface).

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

5

CONSIDER THIS

30

MUSIC CALENDAR

7

SHRINK RAP

32

RECORD REVIEWS

13

NEW IN THEATERS

35

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

16

ARTS CALENDAR

36

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

17

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

37

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

27

BUSINESS BRIEFS

38

MIXOLOGY

After bidding farewell to the structure of the corporate world over a year ago, Robyn Wolfe Fogle now spends her days pursuing the things she loves. Among her passions are freelance writing, rock climbing and running.

Whitni McDonald teaches writing at Southern Adventist University and is deeply appreciative of Chattanooga’s burgeoning cultural scene. You can follow her on Twitter @ whitni_ann and at whitni.tumblr.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 3


BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

Scenic City Holiday Fun Get into the holiday spirit with a plethora of seasonal events By Gary Poole

I BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Robyn Wolfe Fogle Sam Hilling • Matt Jones Whitni McDonald • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib Editorial Interns Alyson McGowan • Colin Moran Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Rick Leavell Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Logan Vandergriff • Joseph Yang

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

Pulse Managing Editor

N CASE IT’S SNUCK UP ON YOU, like it has me, Christmas is just 25 days away. I know...where has the year gone? It’s already December? Yikes! But if you’re having a bit of trouble getting into the holiday spirit, here are some events that will help get you ho-ho-hoing. Kicking off this Thursday, Christmas Underground returns to Ruby Falls. Take a magical adventure deep within the heart of Lookout Mountain where children discover a secret underground passage to see Santa. You can visit the decorated gemstone mines in this unique setting 26 stories underground and go on a journey past the Northern Lights and Sugar Plum Fairy Village, into a tunnel (optional), through an ice cave and to the North Pole where Santa awaits. This festive event is made for children of all ages where they meet Ruby Falls gemstone miners and enjoy interactive fun like panning for gems called “joystone” (which spreads the spirit of Christmas), using the joystone tester and cracking their own joystone geode. Christmas Underground runs Thursday– Sunday through Dec. 18 and then daily Dec. 19–23, from Noon to 8 p.m. The 32nd Annual Christmas at the Courthouse runs weekdays through Friday, Dec. 9th beginning at 11:30 am. The program takes place in the second floor rotunda area of the Hamilton County Courthouse (625 Georgia Ave.). Performances by 18 area county schools musical groups will be highlighted during the one hour presentation hosted by emcees from various local media outlets. The program is free and the public is invited to join the elected officials who are honored guests each day as they enjoy this wonderful program which kicks off the holiday season here in Hamilton County.

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Ruby Falls Christmas Underground's "Ice Cave" tunnel

One of our favorite holiday traditions is the Singing Christmas Tree, and this year it will be an incredible feast for the ears and eyes. Based on the theme “The Night Before Christmas”, you will be treated to a re-telling of Clement Clark Moore’s classic poem narrated by WRCB chief meteorologist Paul Barys. The members of the Chattanooga Boys Choir, Ballet Tennessee, and the Metropolitan Bells will “interrupt” Mr. Barys with musical interludes highlighting the classic story of awaiting a visit from Santa Claus. Traditional carols, favorite holiday songs, and Santa-inspired selections will put everyone in a festive mood for the holidays! No holiday season would be complete without Charles Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol”. The Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga examines the timeless questions of past, present and future with their production of the classic. This is also a season of reflection for ETC itself as it returns to produc-

tion after a ten-month hiatus and to a new stage. “ETC is very excited to be producing again, and we are especially excited to be doing so in the beautiful new community space at Midtown Central, soon to be home of the Family Justice Center,” notes Director Garry Posey. Performances are scheduled to run December 3-18, Fridays at 7:30, Saturdays at 2:30 and 7:30 and Sundays at 2:30 at Midtown Central (the Family Justice Center) located at 911 Eastgate Loop, near the Brainerd Mission Cemetery. And for you shoppers, The Chattanooga Holiday Market returns to the Chattanooga Convention Center downtown on Carter Street. This is a producer-only market— which means vendors have made it, baked it, grown it or sewn it themselves. And this year, nearly 200 vendors will be attending the holiday festivities for three weekends in December. So get your ugly Christmas sweaters out and embrace the spirit of the season. Ho ho ho!


Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon by Rob Rogers

“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.” — Stephanie Bennett Henry

Caroling with the Fishes at The Tennessee Aquarium It’s the most wonderful time of the year! And the Tennessee Aquarium is kicking it off with a fun, festive and slightly odd event. Come experience “Caroling with the Fishes” this Sunday from 6 to 8 p.m. The Galleries will be decked out with the many sounds of the seasons including choruses, singers, local musicians, drums, flutes, string instruments ad much more. The whole family will also get the chance to visit with Santa Clause and take a

fun festive photo home. Treat yourself to seasonal beverages and other goodies and enjoy a bit of holiday shopping with 20 percent member discount at the River Journey Gift Shop. The whole experience is sure to be fa-la-la-la-la-antastic. Anyone requiring any information feel free to contact guest services at (800) 262-0695 or check out the Aquariums website at tnaqua.org — Alyson McGowan

On the day of the election results the suicide hotline activity throughout our country was higher than it’s ever been in history. People were actually considering taking their lives rather than live with the ideals of the new administration. While this is sobering and saddening, it makes perfect sense. Our current administration has done more for the underprivileged, oppressed, and outcast members of our society than any before, and here we stand on the precipice of human rights violations being dissolved, hardwon freedoms erased, and ostracism becoming a supported folly, rather than the dangerous cruelty it is. Clearly this is a time for marshaling our individual and collective strength. A time for understanding and compassion. A time for observing, and taking intelligent action. It is not a time for throwing up our hands and giving up. Today, we stand at the intersection of politics and human rights. — Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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COLUMN ∙ SHRINK RAP

Happy Holidays = Less Stress, More Peace The good doctor has advice on how to thrive during the holidays

Dr. Rick

Pulse columnist

A

HHH, THE HOLIDAYS. WHATEVER it is you may be trying to change within, the externals, filled as they may be with family, friends, food, drink, spending, commercialism, merriment (forced?), travel woes and more, are guaranteed to provide an opportunity to see just how far you’ve come, and just what parts of yourself are still in need of your attention. For many of us perhaps the holidays offer some combination of happiness and old wounds being pricked; wonderful and difficult significant others; personal growth opportunities that bring about a sense of accomplishment when we succeed, and those that remind us that there are still insecurities or unresolved resentments to be tackled. Artfully-speaking, the holidays have a way of showing us both our inner Norman Rockwell and our inner Edvard Munch. Any and all of this may be sparked by, say, a racist, sexist or homophobic comment from Uncle Morty at the holiday dinner table. Or by a passive-aggressive gift from Aunt Louise. Or by the behavior of a sibling with whom you have a long history that turns ever more prickly each year. Or by any other big white elephant in the middle of the room. Just the thought of returning to the family home at the holidays can elicit joy and peace, or a sense of dread, grief, anxiety, depression…or any combo. Let’s face it: at the holidays, childhood rears its head, and

the quality of yours—plus whatever personal growth you’ve accomplished so far—will determine how it all feels. So how do we gladden the tidings? My suggestion to you is that we absolutely have the power to allow this time of year to be an opportunity to do it more happily and healthfully…and maturely. Here are three tips to help make the holidays a time that feels good to you – with more peace, less stress. Pray/meditate/ponder gratefulness. An attitude of gratitude is a powerful thing. And I believe that there is always, always something to be grateful for. So before your internal complainer has a chance to gather steam, think of this: Neale Donald Walsch (author of the Conversations With God series), reminds us that “The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.” And humorist Garrison Keillor puts it this way: “Thank you, God, for this good life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough.” Perhaps a gratitude meditation or affirmation of your own can help prepare you for whatever challenges your holidays may offer. Get to a quiet place…breathe…and remind yourself that no matter what, you’ll be ok. Take care of yourself while you take care of others. In past Shrink Rap columns you’ve read about the problems that occur when you lose yourself in the busy-ness of the season, or when you put everyone else’s needs first

without honoring your own needs and wants, or when you simply can’t say “no.” Diminishing your own importance, ignoring healthy boundaries, a lack of good selfcare…these are the best ways I know of to plant seeds of resentment. If you get your holiday cookies through suffering or guilt or playing the martyr, it’s time to look at that. Because the holidays are when all these buttons are absolutely going to get pushed. So, you might as well start your process of paying attention now. Believe me, everyone will be happier. Go hug a tree. Now, you can take this as literally as you’d like. What I mean by this is, take a break. Observe your own pace, and when you start to race too fast—talk too fast, eat too fast, think too fast, drive too fast— slow down. You know the feeling I’m talking about. So use it as a red flag to remind you to take a breath. Push the pause button. And

maybe spend the afternoon over a long lunch with a good friend. Or call an elderly relative and really listen to them, with nothing else on your mind. Sit on the back porch with a cup of tea or a glass of mulled wine and breathe in the energy of the universe. Get out of yourself, and think of a creative act of kindness to do for a stranger. Play with the dogs. Go for a walk. Hug a tree. I hope these suggestions help make your holidays the best ever. My gift to you is a wish for great joy, good health, and a forgiving spirit. Until next time, from Byron Katie: “Our loved ones will continue to press every button we have, until we realize what it is that we don’t want to know about ourselves yet.” Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com

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COVER STORY By Robyn Wolfe Fogle Pulse contributor

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H AT TA N O O GA ' S

Southside is throwing a party...and you’re invited! Now in its 10th year, the 24-hours of fun that is MAINx24 begins this Saturday, so mark your calendar and start making your plans now. This eagerly anticipated annual event has continued to spread further throughout the Southside and grown from 30-40 events back in 2007 to now over 120. “We have seen massive organic growth over the past ten years both in terms of businesses, organizations and individuals participating, and patrons attending” says Cat Collier Martinez, Event Schedule Coordinator. This organic growth may well be contributed to the distinct set of values the Southside has developed where generosity and a true collaborative nature stand out. No other event showcases these better than MAINx24. Southside friends, neighbors and merchants come together to put MAINx24 together each year as a way to draw awareness to the revitalization and total transformation of this once rundown part of Chattanooga. The event was born out of a desire to make Chattanooga a “24hour city” to be enjoyed both day and night, and this years’ MAINx24 organizers (Adam and Monica Kinsey, Fernando Martinez, Cat Collier Martinez, Kelly Allen, Amy Andrews, Michael Walker, Katie Smith, Philip and Lindsey Meyer) uphold these same goals. If you’ve never been to this blowout block party, you’ve been missing out. The variety of events is as diverse as the businesses and people of Southside. Most events are free or 8 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM


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benefit local non-profit organizations, so grab your friends, round up the family, bundle up the kids, and leash up the fur babies because no one will want to miss out on the merriment. The only question you should have is where to start. And that’s easy: the MAINx24 Pancake Breakfast hosted by Buddy Shirk, of course! This fund raiser supports The Forgotten Child Fund so head down to Fire Hall #1 at 218 E. Main St. beginning at 8 a.m. for the official event kickoff and $5 will get you all-you-can eat pancakes and a drink. If pancakes aren’t your thing, there are plenty of other tasty ways to start your day. Niedlov’s will be serving their

“If you’re thinking “been there, seen that”, think again. This years’ parade includes a little surprise. A wedding. Yes, that’s right, a real live, in real time, wedding.” famous lard fried doughnuts (their spelling, not mine) from 8-10 a.m., Conga Latin Food will open early (9 a.m.) serving up breakfast burritos and Latinstyle breakfast dishes, or head to The Terminal Brewhouse at 9 a.m. and grab a balanced breakfast before starting your

marathon day of events. Once you’re fueled, be ready to hit the ground running. “I feel like now, if you don’t make a plan, you end up missing something!” said Katie Smith, Kids Events Organizer for MAINx24. With two kids of her own (ages 7 and 4), she says

they make a plan for the day ahead of time to be sure to hit the kids’ events. First stop: the annual Holiday Parade. A staple of MAINx24 since its inception, Katie says the parade is the best one in Chattanooga. It starts promptly at 10:30 a.m. and features a “Mutt Strut” as well. Local shelters will be bringing their adoptable mutts to strut their stuff and volunteers even pitch in to make holiday costumes for the pups, ensuring they are absolutely irresistible. If one tugs at your heartstrings, you can visit “Muttville” in the Battle Academy parking lot after the parade to give one a home in time for the holidays. Or take continued on page 10

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COVER STORY your own fur babies over for pet photos with Santa. If you’re thinking “been there, seen that”, think again. This years’ parade includes a little surprise. A wedding. Yes, that’s right, a real live, in real time, wedding. Jennifer Rudd and fiancé Brandon Tidwell love MAINx24 so much they decided to get married in the parade. According to Jennifer, they are considering either building a float to get married on, using one of the carriages for their nuptials, or even partnering with the art bikes for something funky. Show up and find out what this unconventional couple comes up with because you won’t be able to catch this action next year! Following the parade, you can keep that smile on your children’s faces by heading over to H*Art Gallery and/or Inspire Chiropractic for face painting. Then be sure to stop by Main Line Ink where the Chattanooga Roller Girls will have a booth set up to help kids build their own snowman ornament. For the shoppers, there will be holiday sales and open houses galore at many unique Southside boutiques like Merchants on Main, Cotton and Twine, Uncommon Deux and Chattanooga Woodworking Academy. Plus, pop-up shops you won’t want to miss! And if the idea of holiday shopping already has you stressed out, there will be plenty of alcohol to help you cope with that. Head over to Cycle Sport where local brewery Hutton & Smith will be pouring their delicious beer and you can play some old-school Nintendo games on the big screen while you wait. That starts at 11 a.m. (no judgments here, I did mention this was a party!) Or 10 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

head to Feed Co. Table & Tavern and watch some college football if that’s more your style. As for lunch plans, you won’t want to miss the World Heavyweight Chili Championship. Now in its 8th year, this mainstay event of MAINx24 has teams compete for the coveted World Heavyweight Chili Championship Belt. We patrons can participate in the best way possible: sampling! Teams will serve their chili from 11:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. with $2 beers and a $5 Bloody Mary bar as the perfect accompaniment. This annual event is sponsored by green|spaces, one of the first businesses to open on the Southside back in 2007. “We’ve enjoyed watching the area grow!” says Dawn Hjelseth, Director of Development for the non-profit. “A lot of the success started with events like MAINx24 drawing people to the Southside” she added. The goal this year is 30 chili teams and they hope to raise $10,000 to support the work of green|spaces. Newer businesses on the Southside such as Peace. Strength. Yoga are equally excited to host unique events to attract people. Swing by the studio around 12:30 p.m. for Barre + Brunch. That’s right, you’ll have to work for that pastry and fruit, but the event is free, and beginners are welcome, so no excuses. Owner Kaylee Frano says the goal of the event is on building the community and showing people what they have to offer. If neither championship chili nor brunch is for you, the adventurous eaters can head over to Bluegrass Grill for the International Food Market. Community members will be sharing unique, and perhaps unfamiliar, foods so drop by and


COVER STORY

“Suffice it to say, the Southside is the place to be on December 3. The full list of events can be found at mainx24. com and printed copies will be available at various Main St. businesses.” sample snacks from around the world (all priced under $2 per portion). This year will include dishes from Bosnia and Herzegovina, the Philippines, South Africa and more. Once that food coma wears off, get ready for some action. Whether you’re daring yourself, or just prefer to spectate, there will be something to put a smile on everyone’s face. Maybe you grab your frenemies and head over to Velo Coffee Roasters for Sumo Wrestling—complete with music, wigs and a squishy pit. Or join forces with friends to take part in the Clearstory Scavenger Hunt from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., then flex your muscles and get competitive with the bicycle frame toss at Cycle Sport. But nothing draws in the big kids more than the Adult Big Wheel Race! If you aren’t on a team, it’s still worth walking over to cheer at this event held in the Choo Choo Gardens. Coed teams of four will navigate a course filled with twists, turns and obstacles, in what promises to be the most challenging and exciting race course yet. The proceeds support the Children’s Advocacy Center and the event is sponsored by ASA Engineering and Consulting, and Yazoo Brewery. Keep the adult party going well into the wee hours of the morning by joining the dance party at The

Granfalloon, or heading over to Mean Mug Coffeehouse for a Silent Disco. Another favorite is the MAINx24 Jingle Ball II which will be held at the Revelry Room from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. with a “Hillbilly” theme this year and plenty of live music. Blue Orleans hosts a Mardi Gras party, there’s a Prohibition Party at Regan’s place, or the Crash Pad invites you to get funky and put on your boogie shoes. With so many options, 24 hours won’t seem like enough. If you’ve had enough music and dancing for the time being, head to the Comedy Catch and see Gary Conrad’s adult hypnotist show— just don’t volunteer or you may end up dancing all over again! Suffice it to say, the Southside is the place to be on December 3. The full list of events can be found at mainx24.com and printed copies will be available at various Main St. businesses. Organizer Katie Smith said her family looks forward to this day more than any other event in Chattanooga. “I have no doubt that if this is your first year to attend, you will make it a point to come back from here on out!” she said. This community of neighbors and merchants knows how to throw a party and all they need is for you to show up and be ready to taste, see, play, listen, shop, relax and enjoy the Southside. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 11


FILM & TELEVISION

Coming Of Age In The Era Of Formula Films The Edge of Seventeen tries for something a bit better than the standard teen film

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

S

OMETIMES IT SEEMS AS if Hollywood is caught in an endless loop. Every few months, the studios cycle through their lineup, a never ending batting order of comic book movies, young adult fantasy movies, horror movies, children’s animation, comingof-age films, generic action, soap operaeqsue thrillers, and end of the year Oscar bait. Maybe it’s a byproduct of entertainment overload, but after a time, wide-release films tend to run together. That isn’t to say there aren’t good films within these genres, but seven out of eight of the categories above are aimed at a specific, very youth-

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ful audience and the older a person gets, the less they seem to matter. Noticing the trend is a likely indication of age and it seems that at 34, I’m now in my declining years. The Edge of Seventeen might be a reminder that I’m no longer an important demographic, but it’s entertaining enough to spur memories of when I belonged to such a crucial statistical subgroup. As a film, it isn’t as unflinching and realistic as last year’s Diary of a Teenage Girl, and thankfully much less cringe inducing. It is a witty, paint-by-numbers coming of age film about a girl learning to be comfortable with herself. Your teenage self never really leaves you. All of your childhood experiences sketch out a shape of


FILM & TELEVISION

“If there is a universal message The Edge of Seventeen is trying to convey, it’s that growing up is hard, but staying young is harder.” a personality, with haphazard lines and odd angles, and as you age, personal relationships begin to color the edges and fill in the spaces until a person begins to take shape. High school, at least according to movies, is where a person starts to choose these colors. For some, they are vibrant blues and greens and reds, attractive and inviting. For others, they are merely shades of gray. Nadine (Hailee Steinfield) has layered shades of gray since she was in second grade. She has always had trouble making friends—she talks too much, is too melodramatic, pushing against the current rather than easing into the stream. Krista (Haley Lu Richardson) is her only friend and Nadine’s only source of solace against what she sees as an unfair and unfriendly world. Her brother Darian (Blake Jenner) is her opposite—a shining

star of popularity charm. He is a star student and athlete. Another student compares Darian and Nadine to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito from the movie Twins. It should come as no surprise that when Nadine catches Darian and Krista in an intimate encounter her entire world falls apart. The Edge of Seventeen covers all the coming-of-age high school tropes— the packed, alcohol fueled house party, the large, teacher-absent social gathering that is high school, the bad boy, the good guy, the clumsy sexual experiences, the angsty, deeply personal revelations that change attitudes and lives. They don’t seem stilted here because of the writing and the talent of the cast, but the film walks a very thin line between clever and contrived. It is the first film for director Kelly Freamon Craig, who also wrote the screenplay. She is likely a fan of Diablo Cody, as Nadine exhibits a distinct wit, a la Juno, although to her credit she doesn’t invent nearly as many irritating catch phrases. One highlight of the film is Woody

Harrelson as Mr. Bruner, the longsuffering teacher who doesn’t so much dole out advice as encourage his students to leave him alone so he can eat his lunch. In this one instance, The Edge of Seventeen manages to rise above the coming-ofage archetype of the wise adult and step outside of the conventional. It isn’t much, but it helps. Nadine’s route to selfdiscovery contains a variety of life lessons, lessons that most adults remember learning themselves. In that regard, the film serves as a reminder of the distance we all travel to become who we are. The hardest lesson we learn along the way is that the one person we spend the most time with is ourselves and if we don’t like that person life is very long indeed. Nadine takes a step towards liking herself in the film, and if there is a universal message The Edge of Seventeen is trying to convey, it’s that growing up is hard, but staying young is harder.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

Jackie Following the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy fights through grief and trauma to regain her faith, console her children, and define her husband's historic legacy. Director: Pablo Larraín Stars: Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Greta Gerwig

Incarnate A scientist with the ability to enter the subconscious minds of the possessed must save a young boy from the grips of a demon with powers never seen before, while facing the horrors of his past. Director: Brad Peyton Stars: Carice van Houten, Aaron Eckhart

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Townsend Atelier Completes The Circle Downtown studio presents an exhibit of affordable art

East Ridge Artist Headlines Hunter Museum Exhibition A homegrown exhibit is coming to the Hunter Museum of American Art. The museum is pleased to present an exhibition of sculptures and paintings by Chattanooga artist Verina Baxter. Baxter, was born and raised in East Ridge and growing up she drew her inspiration for her work from many interests, including reading, gardening, and travel. The exhibit will feature works from more than twenty years of Baxter’s artistic career, the exhibition will include some of her earlier figurative sculptures as well as her Rods, Industrial, and Table series. Baxter also experimented with colorful abstractions, many of which will be exhibited alongside her sculptural pieces. The attention to detail and the precision of her work is mind blowing. Verina Baxter in the 1990’s was compelled to change her career from banking to art after taking a class in stone carving at Arrowmont School in Gatlinburg. She then began working in metals, such as bronze and stainless steel, and dedicated herself to sculpting full time in her 40s. In addition to her work as an artist, Ms. Baxter played a major role within the local arts community. If at all possible, set aside time to go to the museum and enjoy the beautiful homegrown art. — Colin Moran Verina Baxter Exhibition December 2 through January 22 The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Avenue (423) 267-0968 www.huntermuseum.org 14 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Whitni McDonald Pulse contributor

C

IRCLE PROMISES TO BE AN EXCITING chance for visitors of varying budgets to collect quality art. After getting a sneak preview of this special thematic exhibit of small and affordable artwork by Townsend Atelier students and instructors, I’m eager to return for the opening this Saturday during the legendary MainX24 from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. The show will run through December 31, making it a great way to enjoy the holiday season, or even find a unique gift. The exhibit includes work from some of the area’s best professional and emerging artists, with submissions from Chattanooga, North Carolina, Delaware, Alabama, Georgia, and Arizona to name a few. Peggy Townsend explained the invitational nature of this non-juried show. “Over 100 students and instructors of Townsend Atelier were each given a small 4” round pulp board coaster and

challenged to use it as a surface on which to create anything they wish,” she said. “No limits were given as to the theme, imagery or medium, as long as artwork stayed within the 4” round format and was not priced over $300. We thought it would be an interesting change from the usual student or instructor show, offering everyone a challenge to find free expression within the same strict confines, and we’ve just been blown away by the quality of these submissions.” The variety of works runs the gamut and includes landscapes, portraits, oil paintings, watercolors, charcoal drawings, paper collages, relief sculptures and printmaking. The show includes over 150 submitted works from artists ranging from an 11-year-old student up through retired professionals, many of whom now serve as mentors or teachers with the atelier. The circles will be displayed in a grid format, circling the walls of the atelier’s beautiful main room. I got to handle the submitted pieces prior to their installation in the gallery and felt lucky


ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“The cyclical tradition of artistic knowledge and skills being passed down from teacher to student through classes and mentorship is a time-honored tradition and one that we are proud to keep alive at our atelier.” to get an up close look at the detail and aesthetic attention given by the range of artists all working in the consistent, miniature format. The coaster-size circles serve as a canvas for paint, or base for mixed-media sculpture, all of which can be easily submitted and curated. When visiting out of state, Peggy says she remembered a simple, yet fun display of artwork on coasters, held in conjunction with a local brewery. Loving the coasters’ ease of storage and shipment, she held onto the idea of a blank circle as a show concept. But the small size was not the only motivation for selecting the theme, CIRCLE. “For us, the circle is a perfect symbol for what we do at Townsend Atelier,” notes coowner Stan Townsend. “The

cyclical tradition of artistic knowledge and skills being passed down from teacher to student through classes and mentorship is a time-honored tradition and one that we are proud to keep alive at our atelier. The strong circle of art community and friendships formed through our studio is so rewarding to be a part of. For this exhibit, it will be fun to see the different ways each artist approaches the same circle format.” I’d been especially drawn to a lifelike oil painting of a parakeet, which Peggy shared was submitted by established artist Cindy Procious. I later commented on another artist’s whimsical style with animals, saying I thought the artist would make an ideal illustrator, and was told the work was by another wellknown artist, Terry Rafferty, who was mentored by Procious. The process of establishing one’s skill and eye for creation is truly a big, generous circle! While many galleries feature art priced beyond the budgets of young-

er collectors, CIRCLE is a great show to engage aspiring collectors. Works will range in price from $10 up to $300, with an average price point of around $125. Any pieces not sold at the opening will be carefully cataloged on the Townsend Atelier’s website, and can be viewed and purchased online after Saturday by visiting townsendatelier.com. Creative holiday shoppers will enjoy the simplicity of the small format for shipping to friends or family out of town. Located in The Arts Building at 301 East 11th Street in downtown Chattanooga, Townsend Atelier is a visual art school and materials store that offers demos, classes and workshops yearround in painting, drawing, printmaking, sculpture and a weekly figure-drawing studio. All classes are taught by professional working artists, at the top of their field. Students are all ages and range from the beginner to professional artist who seek to develop their artistic skills in a unique and welcoming atelier setting.

THU12.1 Reflections Gallery Artist Reception

Original works by area artists Cindy McCashin and Faye Wolfe. 5 p.m. Reflections Gallery 922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com

FRI12.2 FOCUS FOUR Opening

Photographers Bryon Avery, Keith Mitchell, Leah Meulemans, and Sybil Tope. 5:30 p.m. Area 61 Gallery 61 E. Main St. (423) 648-9367 facebook.com/ area61Chattanooga

SAT12.3 Chattanooga Boys Choir Singing Christmas Tree

The holiday tradition continues and is a must see (and hear) for everyone. 5:30 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com

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CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 15


ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

River Gallery Artist Recpetion: The Whipples

THURSDAY12.1 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m. Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com St. Elmo Farmers Market 4 p.m. Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Throwback Thursday 4 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Reflections Gallery Artist Reception 5 p.m. Reflections Gallery 922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com Homebuyer Orientation 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise 1500 Chestnut St. #102 (423) 756-6201 cneinc.org Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad

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7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

FRIDAY12.2 Verina Baxter 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Pre-K Day: Violet Violin 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org 3rd Street Farmers Market 10:30 a.m. Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall

975 E. 3rd St. lookoutfarmersmarket.com New Jewelry and Paintings Opening Reception 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery 26 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Artifact Holiday Market 5 p.m. Artifact Studios and Gallery 1080 Duncan Ave. facebook.com/teamartifact FOCUS FOUR Opening 5:30 p.m. Area 61 Gallery & Showroom 61 E. Main St. (423) 648-9367 facebook.com/ area61Chattanooga 4th Annual Deck the Walls 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga WorkSpace

PULSE SPOTLIGHT: GARY CONRAD Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad will have you thoroughly amazed. Each show is a different, exciting experience for the audience as well as the brave volunteers. Gary Conrad The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Cravens House Christmas Program 6 p.m. Cravens House 110 Point Park Rd. Lookout Mountain, TN (423) 821-7786 nps.gov/chc River Gallery Artist Reception: The Whipples 6:30 p.m. River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Wide Open Floor 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

SATURDAY12.3 CIRCLE: Art Exhibition 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier 301 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Red Bank Christmas Festival & Parade 10 a.m. Red Bank Main City Park


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Holiday SHopping guide X

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2016

Holiday

Shopping Guide

Holiday gift ideas from around the city and around the world Looking for the perfect cup of coffee everytime without having to lug around a brewer? The AeroPress Coffee Maker utilizes a breakthrough in the coffee brewing process to yield the smoothest, richest coffee that you have ever tasted. Pick one up today locally at Velo Coffee Roasters at 509 E. Main St. or visit them online for more details (and testimonials). $29.95, aerobie.com

The idea for Wash With Joe came to founder Jane Schub when she realized that coffee—in addition to being a great beverage—was also a great health and grooming aid. These invigorating body washes blend essential oils and other exotic ingredients with a touch of eccentricity—and coffee. $30, washwithjoe.com

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Write your notes and ideas naturally with a pen on any paper. With the push of a button, the Wacom Bamboo Folio Smartpad converts your handwriting into “living” digital files. The Wacom Inkspace app lets you organize, edit and share your notes and sketches on your iOS or Android Bluetooth-enabled devices. With the Inkspace cloud service you can sync your notes in the cloud and access anywhere at anytime. $191, wacom.com

Delivering complete cold-weather protection for all your outdoor pursuits, the Nike Lunar Force 1 Duckboot Men’s Boot features waterrepellent leather and ground-gripping traction, along with iconic Air Force 1 design details. $165, nike.com

Protect your coffee table and side tables with a modern touch with thess beaded Emoji Coasters. Designer Kim Seybert combines personal study in Old World techniques with a sense of current style to create uniquely elegant pieces for the home. Since 1997, her beaded and embroidered designs have helped to redefine beauty in home decor...albeit with a sometimes whimsical sense of humor. $93, bergdorfgoodman.com

Discover a new world of unexpected gaming and entertainment experiences with Sony's new PlayStation VR. Redefine your expectations of immersion in gaming with moments so intense your intuition takes over. Step into incredible new virtual worlds and experience entertainment in extraordinary ways. $400, playstation.com

THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 19


robbie l. wood owner

Happy Holidays 4520 Hixson Pike, Hixson, TN 37343 www.frameworksartgallery.com 423.877.1391 • Open Weekdays 10a-6p 20 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM


Holiday

Shopping Guide

Zackees’ award-winning Turn Signal Gloves are the latest, must-have safety innovation for cyclists. Simply press your thumb to your index finger to activate your LED blinker. Designed by a former Google engineer, these innovative gloves make it easy than ever to communicate with cars. Put the power of signals in your hands. $75, zackees.com

With smooth braking, powerful electric motors, and simple wireless control, the Boosted Board is an amazing riding experience. The 2nd generation delivers key upgrades—an extended range battery pack, water-resistant electronics, and advanced connectivity—and still has everything you love, including the Loaded bamboo deck, a hightorque drivetrain, and industry-leading customer support. $999, boostedboards.com Put down your smartphone and pick up a pencil with Fredericks & Mae Paper Games! This fresh interpretation of classic paper-and-pencil games features five tear-off pads with colorful edging and sleek modern graphics. Each pad has 150 sheets for a total of 750 single games, and includes five two-player games—some familiar and some brand new— enough to keep players of any age happy for hours! $19, papress.com

Have you ever wondered what your LEGO creations would look like on the big screen? The LEGO Animation Book will show you how to bring your models to life with stop-motion animation-no experience required! From storyboards to postproduction, it explains it all! $15, amazon.com

THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 21


Holiday

Shopping Guide

This Egg Cream Mask features an ultra-soft microfiber sheet drenched in egg extracts, coconut water, niacinamide, and other botanical extracts to deliver ultimate hydration, nourishment, and brightening benefits. In as little as 20 minutes, skin appears more visibly radiant and glowy, and feels well hydrated and nourished. $24, sephora.com

Be the hit of the Christmas party with this Light-Up Reindeer Wreath Sweater. It has four flashing led lights that come on with movement (no batteries needed), is made of 60% Cotton, 40% Acrylic, and is machine washable. Sure, some may call it the ultimate "ugly sweater", but fashion takes a backseat during the holidays. As it should. $34, amazon.com

Make your desk magical with this Unicorn Tape Dispenser and rainbow tape. Perfect for that too-dreary office or cubicle farm, and a guaranteed conversation piece. Includes two rolls of tape. What are you waiting for? $15, papersource.com

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Crafted in small batches, Restorative Botanical Perfume Oils stimulate your mind, body and spirit with a balancing combination of apple, citrus and heliotrope aroma notes. Great for personal fragrance, and for maximum benefits use the rollerballs on temples and pressure points such as your crown chakra, bottoms of your feet and solar plexus. $24, soapandpaperfactory.com

Nothing's quite like the smell of a new Mac. Notes of mint, peach, basil, lavender, mandarin and sage mixed in with the frash plastic and metal overtone. Relive the experience anytime with the New Mac Candle, made of 100% soy wax and sure to impress the most ardent Apple fanboi on your holiday list. $24, twelvesouth. com Bring a bit of the arcade along to the office with this classic and portable Desktop Skee Ball game. Whether you're rekindling an old love for a childhood pastime, or practicing for the real thing after hours, this beautifully crafted game, equipped with automatic ball return, will definitely ramp up the fun on those lunch breaks. And if anyone questions your work ethic, insist it's an elaborate paperweight. $35, uncommongoods.com THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 23


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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Nerdland 3859 Dayton Blvd. redbanktn.gov Chattanooga Holiday Market 10 a.m. Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Glass Ornaments class with Jennie DeCook 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Northside Farmers Market 10 am. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 St. Alban’s Hixson Market 10 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 A Christmas Carol 2:30, 7:30 p.m. Midtown Central 911 Eastgate Loop (423) 602-8640 PechaKucha Vol. 28 3:30 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. (423) 265-0771 pechakucha.org Chattanooga Boys Choir Singing Christmas Tree 5:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Cravens House Christmas Program 6 p.m. Cravens House 110 Point Park Rd. Lookout Mountain, TN (423) 821-7786 nps.gov/chc Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

SUNDAY12.4 Chattanooga Holiday Market 11 a.m. Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Houston Museum Holiday Tea and Open House 1 p.m. The Houston Museum 201 High St. (423) 267-7176 thehoustonmuseum.org Family Fun Day: Holiday Style 2 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org A Christmas Carol 2:30 p.m. Midtown Central

911 Eastgate Loop (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Caroling with Fishes 6 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. tnaqua.org Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY12.5 Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m. Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com

TUESDAY12.6 East Brainerd Farmers Market 4 p.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Classic Christmas Movies 6 p.m. Ringgold Depot 155 Depot St. (706) 935-5290 cityofringgold.com Nerdland 8 p.m.

Regal Cinema 2000 Hamilton Place Blvd. (844) 462-7342 regmovies.com

WEDNESDAY12.7 Main Street Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Annual Holiday Market 5:30 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. rivercitycompany.com “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” Holiday Open House 5:30 p.m. Woodhouse Day Spa 1110 Market St. (423) 443-4478 woodhousespas.com Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict 7 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Free Kittens Comedy Showcase 7:30 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 jj’sbohemia.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 25


26 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM


COLUMN ∙ BUSINESS BRIEFS

The Brazilian Art Of Smooth Skin Honey Bunny Brazilian Wax offers the smoothest deal in Chattanooga By Brooke Brown

Pulse Assistant Editor

F

ROM THE BEAUTIFUL BEACHES of Brazil comes the smoothness you’ve been dreaming of. Honey Bunny Brazilian Wax is the premier waxer in Chattanooga, with the fastest wax times, best prices, and less pain than you’ve ever experienced at the hands of a waxer. Dubbed the “Queen of Wax” by reviewers of her company, owner Alessandra (“Alex”) is a native of Brazil and has been waxing since she was 17 in her mother’s waxing shop in Brazil, and clearly, she knows what she’s doing. Having been doing this for the past 20-plus years, Alex has waxing down to a science. She can do an entire Brazilian wax in just five minutes, meaning she’s definitely offering the best price in town. “It doesn’t take me an hour to do it so I don’t have to charge a large amount. It’s better for everyone. You’re in, out, and satisfied, and we can fit more clients into the day,” says Alex. All of her employees that perform waxes—known affectionately as “Bunnies”—were personally trained by Alex herself, ensuring proper technique and care no matter who works with you. “Everyone in Brazil waxes. Everyone, all year. But when I came to Chattanooga, I saw waxing was only done for special occasions, which isn’t going to give you the results you want,” says Alex. According to Alex, the misconception in the states is that we need to wax in the

Honey Bunny Brazilian Wax

Chattanooga's Brazilian waxing salon 260 Velma St. ∙ Chattanooga (423) 314-0403 www.honeybunnywax.com

summer for the smoothness we desire during bikini season, and then go back to shaving in the winter. We’ve been doing it wrong, people! Flip flopping from shaving to waxing causes irritation and ingrown hairs, as the skin can’t respond properly to the method of hair removal when it’s constantly changing. Alex recommends using the winter months of December and January to allow the hair to grow, making it finer the longer it gets, then waxing. After a short while, you’ll start to notice the hair is much more fine. At first you’ll wax every four to six weeks, but eventually, it’ll be few and far between. “I only have to wax my underarms six times a

year now,” Alex notes. If you’re worried about pain due to a previous waxing situation, give Honey Bunny the chance to work with you to show you just how painless it can be. While the root of your pain may be an inex-

Brazilian-made wax, and only one place in town has this unique wax: Honey Bunny. Not only does Honey Bunny have authentic Brazilian wax, they also provide a homemade, 100 percent organic scrub to soothe irritating bumps, ingrown hairs, and even eczema. The recipe is obviously a secret, but Alex did say it includes vitamin E and two fruits native to Brazil to give you soft, bump-free skin. Take this winter to give Honey Bunny a shot. During the month of December they’re offering a deal of $25 for your first Brazilian wax. Let the Queen of Wax and her Bunnies show you the right way to smoothness.

“Flip flopping from shaving to waxing causes irritation and ingrown hairs, as the skin can’t respond properly to the method of hair removal when it’s constantly changing.” perienced waxer (the Bunnies are gentle, hence their name), it may be the wax itself. Contrary to popular belief, the term “Brazilian wax” doesn’t actually refer to the area or style of waxing you’re interested in, but rather the “Brazilian wax” is the authentic

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 27


MUSIC

MainX24 Rocks, Funks, Twangs The Southside If you love live music, head to Main Street this Saturday

Alan Shikoh Warms the Holiday Season Alan Shikoh, a classically trained guitarist with a passion and tendency for creating colorful harmonies, will be performing at the Chattanooga Holiday Market this Sunday at 12:30 p.m. Shikoh weaves both traditional and contemporary musical pieces into tasteful and alluring sounds. Shikoh began his musical journey as part of his curriculum in The McCallie School’s music program under the direction of Charles Evans. John O’Boyle, reviewer for the Dutch Progressive Rock Page, remarked that Shikoh’s dynamic playing “oozes class” while Brian Watson notes that “…his mastery of the instrument is glaringly evident…there’s a wonderful fluidity to his playing.” While a student, he was selected to perform on NPR’s “From the Top” radio program. Shikoh went on to receive his bachelor’s in Music under Dr. Mario Abil at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga and also holds a masters of Arts degree from Middle Tennessee State University. Shikoh also is currently teaching at Lee University, Southern Adventist University and Covenant College. In addition to his classical background and home on the nylon string guitar Shikoh has also worked as a session player and studio musician on both acoustic and electric instruments spanning a wide array of diverse musical styles. Notable is his work with one of America’s premier progressive rock bands, Chattanooga’s own Glass Hammer. — Colin Moran Alan Shikoh Sunday, 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Holiday Market Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter Street www.chattanoogamarket.com/holiday 28 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Strung Like A Horse

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

For a decade now MainX24 has been the event of the fall/winter season in Chattanooga. For 24 glorious hours the Southside of Chattanooga gets taken over by a party of Dionysian proportions, a gathering with no peer when it comes to the volume and diversity of arts and entertainment. Food, art, music; there genuinely is something for everyone and like a Looney Tunes snowball with each passing year the project gains momentum, picking up new acts and performers.

Last year marked the debut of the Jingle Ball, described as a “Hillbilly Holiday Ball.” The Jingle Ball returns this year with Strung Like a Horse, Chattanooga’s beloved good old boys of funk, headlining the event at Revelry Room. Strung Like a Horse, longtime local favorites and the band whose tireless efforts to make over-alls the new sexy are legendary, are taking time out from their latest projects (including an upcoming experimental noise album and the construction of their own personal studio dubbed “The DANG Studio”) to bring one monumental night of music to Mainx24. Strung Like a Horse, along with co-conspira-


MUSIC

“There genuinely is something for everyone and like a Looney Tunes snowball with each passing year the project gains momentum, picking up new acts and performers.” tors Morgan Wade & The Stepbrothers from Roanoke, and Iron Fez, a local group whose penchant for combining high silliness with pure industrial grade talent is a thing of beauty, will take the stage Saturday from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Tickets are already in high demand for this show and there is no doubt it will be sold out by the day of the performance so the time to act is now. Contact Chattaboogie Music or Strung Like a Horse for more information on how to get yours. There are plenty of other musical opportunities throughout the day, which officially starts at 6 a.m. at the Sisu Sauna Study (sweat start your day). The annual Pancake Breakfast, listed as an event with music, begins at 8 a.m. at Fire Hall No. 1, which is also the place to be

for the return of much-loved organist Buddy Shirk from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Adele’s Ice Cream Creperie hosts hammered dulcimer music from 11 a.m. until 1 p.m. and the Brent Sanders Studio’s Open House will also feature beautiful sounds for your enjoyment from 11 a.m. until 4 p.m. Simple Stress Solutions likewise offers a place to relax from 11:30 a.m. until 4 while Owen Saunders delivers an acoustic show at the Backstage Bar on 29 Station Street 11:30 a.m. until 1:30 that afternoon. Feel free to catch the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera’s “Sensory Friendly Concert” at the Chattanooga Choo Choo from 11:45 a.m. until 12:20 p.m. Seed Goods Percussion and Music Circle Jamboree will take place throughout the afternoon at Seed, 515 E. Main St. The Revelry Room features the Hip Hop Lounge from 1 to 3 p.m. hosted by Hip Hop CHA. The Speakeasy Re-

vue is at Star Line Books from 2 to 3 p.m. and PechaKucha Chattanooga Manix24 Edition is at Granfalloon 3:30 to 5 p.m. The Kizomba Dance Class and 2-hour Latin Dance Party will be at Dance Tonight Chattanooga on 46 E. Main from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Local super musician Danimal Pinson will be presenting his psychedelic stylings at the Backstage Bar from 7 to 9 p.m. while Lumbercat’s “Sneak Peak Album Party” will be held at Peace.Strength. Yoga on Rossville Ave. from 8 to 10 p.m. Granfalloon is packed from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. with Party Party Dance/Summer Dregs, SoCro, Drag Show and Warsaw and Main Street Beats is at The Crash Pad 9 until 2 a.m. Please remember, these are only some of the musical opportunities available at this year’s MainX24 and doesn’t even begin to take in to account the numerous art installations, galleries, maker’s meet ups, whiskey tastings, sumo wrestling, face-painting, street performers, fine food offerings, cook-offs and, I have been led to believe, sumo wrestling. A full schedule of events is available online at the Mainx24 website.

Another Big Weekend

It’s going to be a big weekend for music in Chatt-town and I don’t envy you kids having to pick from so many great acts. Friday night, Blues guru Mark “Porkchop” Holder and MPH will be burning up the place at Tremont Tavern. Tremont Tavern, by the way, is celebrating its ten-year anniversary next weekend (Dec. 9th and 10th) with an all-star lineup of talent including Mike McDade, Gabriel Newell, Jordan Hallquist and the Outfit, BJ Hightower, Slim Pickins, and TJ Greever and Danimal Pinson. More on that next week. Also on Friday night, Chattaboogie Music presents Cereus Bright with Caney Creek Company and Heatherly at JJ’s Bohemia. That show starts at 9 p.m. and admission is ten measly bucks. Saturday marks the return of a little shindig called MainX24 (which you may have heard of by now), an event in which the promoters and organizers have miraculously crammed a week’s worth of festival programming into a 24-hour period. For a listing of musical acts please see this week’s music feature and for an idea of all the non-musical shenanigans and skylarking, visit the MainX24 page where you will find more art, fun and food than you can shake a stick at. — Marc. T. Michael

THU12.1

FRI12.2

SAT12.3

Continental

Gaslight Street

Rick Rushing

The Dropkick Murphys founding guitarist, Bostonbased Rick Barton has spent the last five years fronting his new band. 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Pure Southern rock from Charleston, SC with charismatic vocals, traipsing the boundaries of blues and funk. 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

Get your blues on this weekend as Chattanooga's own moccasin boot wearing guitar master gets down and musically dirty. 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 29


LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Big Smo

THURSDAY12.1 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m. Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m. Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Continental 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

30 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

FRIDAY12.2 Carlous & Janelle Listening Party 7 p.m. Church on Main 1601 Rossville Ave. weddingvenue-tn.co Big Smo 8 p.m. The Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Rick Rushing 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Nick Hickman 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com

Kack Kirton 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Cereus Bright, Heatherly, Caney Creek Company 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com A Galaxy Purple 9 p.m. Ziggys Bar and Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Gaslight Street 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Laughlin Live 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill

PULSE SPOTLIGHT: JACOB JOHNSON Performing mindbending solo guitar instrumentals to loop-driven covers of crowd favorites, Jacob Johnson refers to his style as “NeoAcoustic Folk Funk”. Arlo Gilliam Saturday, 12:30 p.m. Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

SATURDAY12.3 Buddy Shirk 9:30 a.m. Fire Hall No. 1 218 E. Main St. mainx24.com Hammered Dulcimer 11 a.m. Adele’s Ice Cream Creperie 400 E. Main St. mainx24.com Owen Saunders 11:30 a.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. mainx24.com CSO Sensory Friendly Concert 11:45 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. mainx24.com Jacob Johnson 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Danimal Pinson 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. mainx24.com David Ramirez 7:30 p.m. The Camp House 149 E MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Lumbercat’s “Sneak Peak Album Party” 8 p.m.


LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Permagroove Peace.Strength.Yoga 1800 Rossville Ave. mainx24.com Party Party Dance/ Summer Dregs, SoCro, Drag Show, Warsaw 8 p.m. Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. mainx24.com Vulchemy, 4 Daze Dead 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Rick Rushing 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Main Street Beats 9 p.m. The Crash Pad 29 Johnson St. crashpadchattanooga.com Main X24 Jingle Ball 2 "A Hillbilly Holiday Ball" 9 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Lacing, Prayer Circle, Furnace Creek, Jade Poppyfield 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Amber’s Drive 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Kara-Ory-Oke 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Permagroove 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Laughlin Live 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

SUNDAY12.4 The Threadbare Skivvies, Brooks Hubbard 11 a.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Alan Shikoh 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Laughlin Live 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com

MONDAY12.5 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Open Mic Night 6 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com

TUESDAY12.6 Tom Cordell Trumpet Improv Ensemble 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m. Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Coma Vigil, Easy, Big Time 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Dopapod , Pigeons

Playing Ping Pong 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co

WEDNESDAY12.7 Joel Clyde 8 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Open Jam 8 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m. Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Muddy Magnolias, Heatherly 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 31


RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

His Name Is Alive Patterns of Light, Tashi Dorji & Tyler Damon Both Will Escape

His Name Is Alive Patterns of Light (Light in the Attic)

Tashi Dorji & Tyler Damon Both Will Escape (Family Vineyard)

T

1990 to the soul-funk slow jams of 2002’s Last Night. Some fans of His Name Is Alive’s ethereal early work might not have forgiven them for their unsubtle, distorted guitar-fueled rock turns, like the bombastic version of “The Dirt Eaters” on 1993’s Mouth by Mouth that was completely different from the soothing version released the year before. Those who have seen Defever live can vouch that he is a formidable guitarist, capable of effortlessly peeling off Hendrix-esque runs and face-melting vamps—

his writer firmly believes Warren Defever, the Michigan musician and only constant member of His Name Is Alive for its 30 years of existence, is some kind of eccentric, prolific genius whose diverse output—over 100 different releases so far—features a varying cast of (mostly) female singers and disparate material that a normal person would never guess would be from the same band. It had a remarkable run of albums on the label 4AD, going from the dark, troubling, otherworldly beauty of Livonia in

brewer media

check out “Wish I Had a Wishing Ring” for starters—and fans will just have to accept that rock is an undeniable facet of the group’s complicated history. This brings us to the new His Name Is Alive album, Patterns of Light, which is clearly obsessed with heavy and hard rock from the ‘70s, like Thin Lizzy and Black Sabbath, with prog-rock touches, like nimble organ patterns that may bring to mind the band Yes. (It’s telling that the “Super Set” special edition of Patterns of Light includes an embroidered patch that borrows the cover art design from Yes’ debut album.) The album is also obsessed with physics and the Large Hadron Collider, mixed with fantasy elements, creation myths and medieval manuscripts. The calm and pretty layered vocal harmonies of Andrea Morici is in stark contrast with meaty riffs from Defever and second guitarist Dusty Jones, and it’s surprising—in the best way possible—just how satisfying the heavy rock guitar riffage and wailing can be. Enjoy it before His Name Is Alive inevitably redefines itself

again, as it has done many times before.

I

t almost seems like a paradox: if you force yourself to never abide by any rules, then that itself is a rule. A more amusing way to put it is to say aloud, in your best professional-wrestlingannouncer voice, “The only rule is: there are no rules!” In the music world, free improvisation is the name given for improvisation that has no genre in mind, and in an enlightening interview for The Quietus, Asheville, N.C. guitarist Tashi Dorji and Bloomington, Ind. percussionist Tyler Damon discuss a strain of purists in the realm of free improvisation who might disagree with some of the methods of Dorji and Damon, including making edits on the duo’s new improvised album Both Will Escape. Ultimately, the twosome’s goal is to present the best possible output, rules be damned, and Damon commented, “I’m going to reject dogma every single time. There’s no place for it.” There’s no denying that Dorji and Damon are onto something;

Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits

everywhere. every day.

32 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Both Will Escape is one hell of an album with the ability to simultaneously agitate and nourish with monstrous sounds. This writer envisions, figuratively, two people on fire, throwing gasoline on each other. “Two Rabbits” offers furious chugging, like aural sparks from an arc welder, and chiming harmonics with chaotic hits and cymbal taps and crashes from Damon. The clangs and tight, intimate beats from Damon on the album’s title track lead to Dorji’s echoing and subsequent fang-bearing snarls, ending with abstract stabs punctuated with bells. Dorji’s playing on “Gate Left Open” first resembles a cyborg mouse squeaking and scampering, with Damon’s pitter-patters in dialogue; the tone escalates and morphs into something large and grotesque. Free improv purists might frown upon the final track, “Kudzu Weave,” with patterns forming, as Dorji and Damon lock into loose grooves, but with satisfying results like these, listeners shouldn’t get hung up. Make your own rules, then feel free to break them.


CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 33


ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.

ChattanoogaHasCars.com THE TENNESSEE VALLEY’S MOST POWERFUL AUTOMOTIVE SHOPPING TOOL

34 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM


FREE WILL ASTROLOGY experiences will be steadily available to you. Adventures that may have seemed impossibly big and unwieldy in the past will be just the right size. And it all begins soon.

ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A journalist dared composer John Cage to “summarize himself in a nutshell.” Cage said, “Get yourself out of whatever cage you find yourself in.” He might have added, “Avoid the nutshells that anyone tries to put you in.” This is always fun work to attend to, of course, but I especially recommend it to you Sagittarians right now. You’re in the time of year that’s close to the moment when you first barged out of your mom’s womb, where you had been housed for months. The coming weeks will be an excellent phase to attempt a similar if somewhat less extravagant trick. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Hundreds of years ago, the Catholic Church’s observance of Lent imposed a heavy burden. During this six-week period, extending from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, believers were expected to cleanse their sins through acts of self-denial. For example, they weren’t supposed to eat meat on Fridays. Their menus could include fish, however. And this loophole was expanded even further in the 17th century when the Church redefined beavers as being fish. (They swim well, after all.) I’m in favor of you contemplating a new loophole in regard to your own selflimiting behaviors, Capricorn. Is there a taboo you observe that no longer makes perfect sense? Out of habit, do you deny yourself a pleasure or indulgence that might actually be good for you? Wriggle free of the constraints. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The Pacific Ocean was overflowing the borders of the map,” wrote Pablo Neruda in his poem “The Sea.” “There was no place to put it,” he continued. “It was so large, wild and blue that it didn’t fit anywhere. That’s why it was left in front of my window.” This passage is a lyrical approximation of what your life could be like in 2017. In other words, lavish, elemental, expansive

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I have a deep fear of being too much,” writes poet Michelle K. “That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I am a hurricane. That they will step back and be intimidated by my muchness.” Given the recent astrological omens, Pisces, I wouldn’t be shocked if you’ve been having similar feelings. But now here’s the good news: Given the astrological omens of the next nine months, I suspect the odds will be higher than usual that you’ll encounter brave souls who’ll be able to handle your muchness. They may or may not be soulmates or your one-and-only. I suggest you welcome them as they are, with all of their muchness. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow,” wrote naturalist Henry David Thoreau in Walden, “to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines.” I’d love to see you summon that level of commitment to your important rendezvous in the coming weeks, Aries. Please keep in mind, though, that your “most important rendezvous” are more likely to be with wild things, unruly wisdom, or primal breakthroughs than with pillars of stability, committee meetings, and business-as-usual. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): For you Tauruses, December is “I Accept and Love and Celebrate Myself Exactly How I Am Right Now” Month. To galvanize yourself, play around with this declaration by Oscar-winning Taurus actress Audrey Hepburn: “I’m a long way from the human being I’d like to be, but I’ve decided I’m not so bad after all.” Here are other thoughts to draw on during the festivities: 1. “If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone.”—Barbara De Angelis. 2. “The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else.”—e. e. cummings. 3. “To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.” —Sandra Bierig. 4. “We cannot change anything until we accept it.” —Carl Jung. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Are your collaborative projects (including the

Homework: If you had a baby clone of yourself to take care of, what would be your childrearing strategy? Tell me at Freewillastrology.com romantic kind) evolving at a slower pace than you expected? Have they not grown as deep and strong as you’ve wished they would? If so, I hope you’re perturbed about it. Maybe that will motivate you to stop tolerating the stagnation. Here’s my recommendation: Don’t adopt a more serious and intense attitude. Instead, get loose and frisky. Inject a dose of blithe spirits into your togetherness, maybe even some hijinks and rowdy experimentation. The cosmos has authorized you to initiate ingenious surprises. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I don’t recommend that you buy a cat-o’nine-tails and whip yourself in a misguided effort to exorcize your demons. The truth is, those insidious troublemakers exult when you abuse yourself. They draw perverse sustenance from it. In fact, their strategy is to fool you into treating yourself badly. So, no. If you hope to drive away the saboteurs huddled in the sacred temple of your psyche, your best bet is to shower yourself with tender care, even luxurious blessings. The pests won’t like that, and—if you commit to this crusade for an extended time—they will eventually flee. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Nobel Prizewinning novelist Gabriel García Márquez loved yellow roses. He often had a fresh bloom on his writing desk as he worked, placed there every morning by his wife Mercedes Barcha. In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to consider initiating a comparable ritual. Is there a touch of beauty you would like to inspire you on a regular basis? It there a poetic gesture you could faithfully perform for a person you love? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “For a year I watched as something entered and then left my body,” testified Jane Hirshfield in her poem “The Envoy.” What was that mysterious something? Terror or happiness? She didn’t know. Nor could she decipher “how it came in” or “how it went out.” It hovered “where words could not reach it. It slept where light could

not go.” Her experience led her to conclude that “There are openings in our lives of which we know nothing.” I bring this meditation to your attention, Virgo, because I suspect you are about to tune in to a mysterious opening. But unlike Hirshfield, I think you’ll figure out what it is. And then you will respond to it with verve and intelligence. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A reporter at the magazine Vanity Fair asked David Bowie, “What do you consider your greatest achievement?” Bowie didn’t name any of his albums, videos, or performances. Rather, he answered, “Discovering morning.” I suspect that you Libras will attract and generate marvels if you experiment with accomplishments like that in the coming weeks. So yes, try to discover or rediscover morning. Delve into the thrills of beginnings. Magnify your appreciation for natural wonders that you usually take for granted. Be seduced by sources that emanate light and heat. Gravitate toward what’s fresh, blossoming, justin-its-early-stages. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to traditional astrology, you Scorpios are not prone to optimism. You’re more often portrayed as connoisseurs of smoldering enigmas and shadowy intrigue and deep questions. But one of the most creative and successful Scorpios of the 20th century did not completely fit this description. French artist Claude Monet was renowned for his delightful paintings of sensuous outdoor landscapes. “Every day I discover even more beautiful things,” he testified. “It is intoxicating me, and I want to paint it all. My head is bursting.” Monet is your patron saint in the coming weeks. You will have more potential to see as he did than you’ve had in a long time. Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 35


OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

36 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM


JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

“Believe It”—or not. ACROSS 1 Sushi fish also called yellowtail 4 Amount a cab driver gives to you 8 “___ O’Riley” (“CSI: Miami” theme song) 12 Participated in racewalking 13 Like a serrano pepper, compared to a poblano 15 Olmert who preceded Ariel Sharon as Prime Minister of Israel 16 Mitsubishi off-road three-wheeler, for example 17 Exact quote from Gordon Gekko in “Wall Street” 19 Catchphrase spoken verbatim on the original “Star Trek” series 21 “La ___ Bonita” (U.S. #1 hit for Madonna) 22 ___ & Literacy (brown category in Trivial Pursuit) 23 Army service call used by Al Pacino in all of his movies (not just “Scent of a Woman”) 25 Used an old phrase 27 “Winnie-the-Pooh” marsupial parent 29 202.5 deg. on the compass 30 Conjunction that’s spelled with a backslash 31 “Better Call ___” (spin-off sequel to “Breaking Bad”) 33 Creatures proven to be found at Area 51, for short

34 Process scrupulously utilized by all news outlets (which I obviously didn’t do with a single clue in this puzzle) 38 Abbr. from the Latin for “and many more” 41 Drink produced by the real-life brand Heisler 42 Nobel Peace ___ (award given in Stockholm) 46 Hundred Years’ ___ (which lasted less than 100 years) 47 Suffix meaning “doctrine” which is not a valid Scrabble word by itself 48 One of the original Three Musketeers, along with D’Artagnan 49 Beginning-ofterm activities 51 Meat ___ (“Aqua Teen Hunger Force” character with three teeth) 53 RNs report to them 54 Famous Greta Garbo line from “Grand Hotel” 58 Idiom taken directly from Shakespeare’s “King John” 59 ___ Tin Tin (movie German shepherd originally played by a female) 60 Universal plasma donor’s blood type, for short 61 Shout of the recently incarcerated 62 Tic-___-Dough (pencil and paper game) 63 Shrek in the movie

series, but not in the original William Steig book 64 Did 100 kph in a 70 mph zone, e.g. 65 Opposite direction from 29-Across DOWN 1 Coffee bean that yields more caffeine than its counterpart 2 Venerates, slangily 3 Like an unexpired coupon 4 Flower, south of the Pyrenees 5 Bungling 6 Semillon and Riesling, for two 7 Speaker of the first line of the first episode of “South Park” 8 “Ain’t Too Proud, ___ Differ” (Temptations hit) 9 What an Australian weatherman may say “it’s gonna be” on an August day 10 Like boulders 11 Use the minus button 13 “Citizen Kane” studio 14 “___ the news today, oh no” (Beatles lyric) 18 Neighborhood in London’s East End 20 Time ___ the Year (selection made since the magazine’s inception) 24 “___ Like the Wind” (“Dirty Dancing” song) 26 Phanerozoic, for one 27 West-side tributary of the Rhine

28 Cheer for a pescador 31 Boat part furthest away from the bow 32 Card played last in a winning game of Klondike solitaire 35 “Santa Barbara” airer, once 36 Three-word EMT skill, for short 37 Jazz artist Diana who married Elvis Presley 38 Bo Sheep in “U.S. Acres,” for one 39 Airplane activity that takes place in the air 40 Night ___ (“X-Men” character aka Hank McCoy) 43 Toyotas and Subarus, in Japan 44 Flowers that repel hummingbirds 45 Sister magazine of Ebony 47 Lives and breathes 48 Singer of the “Spectre” theme song 50 Palmolive spokesperson played by three different actresses 51 Tom whose second novel was “The Bonfire of the Vanities” 52 “... It’s ___! It’s Superman!” 55 “Analyze ___” (2002 sequel) 56 Permanent worker 57 Negative vote 58 Nickelodeon’s trademark slime

Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 808 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 37


FOOD & DRINK ∙ MIXOLOGY

How To Use Your Egg Noggin Some useful tips on what to buy for the holiday beverage classic By Sam Hilling

Pulse contributor

E

GGNOG, IT SEEMS, IS A POLARizing subject. I’ve never met someone with neutral feelings on it. Either they whisper, “I love eggnog…” with a manic gleam in their eye, or they exclaim, “Eggnog is disgusting!” with Grinch-worthy hatred. Even among those who love it, there’s debate about its various qualities. Should it be thick or light? Spiced or plain? Mixed with rum or bourbon? In the interest of finding some answers, I did a survey of a few brands of eggnog available at almost any local grocery store. A word of warning before we get started: While there’s a strong temptation to make your own eggnog, using raw eggs in food can be dangerous. If you decide to go homemade, make sure to use a recipe that has you heat the mix before consumption to get rid of any bacteria. Storing a mixture with at least 20 percent alcohol in a refrigerator for at least a month can also ensure that the bactericide properties of the alcohol have a chance to work. Some even say that aged eggnog tastes better! I tried four brands that showcased a nice spectrum of eggnog experiences, and then mixed each of them with both rum and bourbon. The ideal ratio of alcohol to eggnog is supposedly 1:5, but feel free to adjust according to your flavor and intoxication preferences. I found that in general bourbon or whiskey works better than rum to cut the thickness of the dairy and blend in with the spice flavors. Here’s a ranking of my favorite-to-least favorite, along with a few notes. 1. Southern Comfort Original:

“Even among those who love it, there’s debate about its various qualities. Should it be thick or light? Spiced or plain? Mixed with rum or bourbon?”

This was the thickest one I tried, and it had the strongest spice flavor. It was my personal favorite, but was definitely the richest and the heaviest of the four. It was good without alcohol and with the bourbon, but didn’t work well with the rum. 2. Mayfield: The classic choice to honor local loyalties. It was less thick than the Southern Comfort but still had a creamy texture and flavor. Very little spice flavor, so the bourbon added a nice kick. The rum didn’t add much.

38 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 1, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

3. International Delight Classic: This was a much thinner eggnog because it uses a skim-milk base instead of cream. It’s a good way to cut out calories, but if the traditionally thick eggnog texture is important to you, be wary. Not much in the way of flavor, but it played well with both the bourbon and the rum.

4. Food Club: I got nothing from this eggnog that I couldn’t have gotten from drinking a glass of milk with sugar mixed in. It had the texture of the ID Classic without the excuse of being healthier and no eggnog flavor to speak of. You can mix it with bourbon or rum or whatever you like, but you can’t make me drink it again. Obviously these aren’t your only options, but if you’re going to try them all, you’ll have to start drinking now if you want to be done by Christmas!


CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 1, 2016 • THE PULSE • 39



The Pulse 13.48 » December 1, 2016